I'm stuck.

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>>17705581

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>>17705590
Do you have any advice spiderman?

Instant no.
You're the second choice and always will be.

>>17705605
Can you explain how's that's bad thing?

Being serious.

>>17705613
She obviously likes this other guy more than you. She only wants you as a backup if this dude says no. That's an instant red flag for a cheater,

>>17705581

Yeah I wouldn't want to be second best to some other guy starting off a relationship you should be her entire world. Sounds like if this other guy rejects her you will just be a placeholder until she finds someone else like that other guy.

>>17705581
Fuck that, she's being a cunt to you.

Drop her, you shouldn't be second option.

>>17705616
Not op but I'm going to ask something related. What are some way to find out if my girl is cheating? No access to her phone, fb or Google. Actions to look for? Phrases? Anything?

>>17705616
>>17705621
Damn and she's cute too.

Hypothetically speaking would it be possible to have a happy relationship if I prove my worth.

Or is it pointless because I shouldn't have to prove my worth in a relationship?

>>17705625

You just know man, the fact you're asking is a big indicator something fishy is going on. You don't trust her and thats either because of her words and actions or because you're just really insecure. If you suspect something is going on just flat out ask her, and gauge her reaction.

Warning signs are just anything that feels off to you, sudden changes in behaviour or less time spent with you without valid reasons like work/study. Feeling of distance between you, less effort on her part, less intimacy etc.

>>17705631

Really depends on the kind of person you are, I'm not saying it's impossible, and you could very well prove yourself to her and last in a relationship but I know if it were me It would always eat at me that I wasn't her first pick.

I feel starting a relationship in this way also gives her power over you, you know you were second choice and you're okay with it so she might secretly judge you for it.

>>17705631
You're still a second pick, a side dish, etc.
It sounds like a terrible thing anon, she's also being terribly insensitive, telling you this and actually planning to use you as plan b.
Get away from her and if she says she wants to date, reject her and tell her exactly why.

You'll make each other a favor, you won't remember her in 2 weeks anyways.

>>17705632
I mention this because all of a sudden she's questioning if we're "compatable". The day prior she said she was mad because I was being "insensitive", which is somewhat true; but I didn't do anything catastrophic or out of the ordinary. She's been cheated on before in the past and despises cheaters. I've never had a doubt she was cheating, until the other day. Also let me sound real paranoid for a second. She usually tagged me in Facebook things, including the "I'm that kind of clingy girlfriend memes". Today I noticed she shared 2 clingy related posts on her wall, 1 was like "I'd rather have my phone blow up and have to wait 12 hours for a reply". And that one got me thinking, is she trying to indirectly tell this new guy (if my speculation is correct) to text her more? Usually she would definitely tag me in something like that or not even share it at all.

>>17705638
>>17705642
>>17705623
Thanks guys.

It sucks to feel like all I'm doing is becoming to unavailable women.

>>17705647
You could play it this way
Agree to wait for the other guys answer, if she gets turned down, jump in with the intention of getting laid. Only problem is you don't want to get attached to her. If you're already second best, maybe see if you can work it to your advantage. however If you're looking for a romantic relationship out of this I would advise looking elsewhere.

>>17705643

How long have you been together? If it's any reasonable length of time you should know this girl better than she does herself. The compatibility discussion happens in a lot of relationships and if you love each other it's just being open about the things you don't like in the relationship and things you might be able to improve as a couple.

The facebook thing you're talking about I would just casually ask her about, maybe like it first and then later be like "that thing I liked before how come you shared it instead of tagging me like you normally do?

But ultimately I think it comes down to you needing to ask her for a serious talk, do it in a calm polite way, tell her how you have been feeling recently and that it could be you feeling paranoid because of your talks about "compatibility" ask her if she still wants to be with you, give her an easy way out if that's what she truly wants. That should give you the answer you need.

I think just cutting to the chase is the best course of action instead of making assumptions and playing mind games and feeling anxiety about it all.

>>17705643
You're right, that does sound paranoid.

>>17705653
We've been together about 4 months. She's not communicating anything with me, the only thing she's saying is she needs to figure out what she wants in life and how unsure she is

>>17705715
>she needs to figure out what she wants in life and how unsure she is
she may not be cheating but she has detached from the relationship already. She's trying to get the courage to end it and hoping you will get her hints and exit so she doesn't have to.

Anyway, the biggest indication your girl is cheating is unexplained disappearances. Not saying you have to monitor or require an accounting of their time but if they were always available and then they are not at times she is making time for another guy.

>>17705631

Fuck her man. it is not shitty enough that she even said this, but you want to continue?

Fuck. I would 100% tell her that I'm not waiting for her, it is either me or him. I'm not anyone's backup plan

Just leave it man.

>>17705715

That's no time at all in a relationship just be thankful it didn't last years the pain is much much worse when your lives are so intertwined and you have all that history, just cut give her an ultimatum now, perhaps talk through her concerns and get to a clear cut answer if you're moving forward together or not. It's too early to be messing around with your head and feelings you don't deserve this, if she isn't sure then she needs to just be single and "find herself" otherwise stop dragging you along.

>>17706068
>>17706140
Thanks guys. I'm sure I'll get better with time. It wasn't meant to be.