How do I transition from 'friends' to 'a couple'

A relationship is just friends with making out and sex

>>17705032
yeah maybe we're just both a bit too shy lmao.

It's funny like I keep trying to move it along physically and she keeps trying to move it along 'officially' lol

I was tryna be smooth last time after the movie I was like hey we could go to _____ now (private spot was gonna try to make a move lol)

but she said 'eh we probably couldn't even see it today' so I said 'yeah I guess you're right...'

maybe I should've insisted but all I was thinking was 'maybe I should try a different approach' but I couldn't think of one so it went nowhere ;/

at this point I'm thinking 'well then wtf how is this even different than us just hanging out as friends???'

and yet still she was talking about telling our friends we're dating so obviously she thought something of it

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

>>17705061
I'm assuming you haven't kissed her? Go to your house (or hers), put on a movie and kiss her. Make out for a few hours

>>17705075
Yeah I haven't. Maybe that'd work but I suppose the main issue is how do deal with the fact that both

a) having trouble finding outlets to escalate and even if I do she doesn't seem super responsive

b) despite this she at least wants to be able to say that we're dating (means something right lol?)

I was kinda rambly and got off topic lol

Does the fact that she really wants to 'have a boyfriend' (and it's me ;D) mean that the reason she's not responsive (could just be imagining it) is just because she's shy (wouldn't be a surprise)

Or does it mean she just wants to 'have a boyfriend' but really just to say that she does and she's not really that into me? At least not physically

This is very strange. You haven't even kissed her but you two are thinking about your relationship status? You sound pretty inexperienced so try to not get too ahead of yourself.

>>17705087
How old are you?

>>17705088
I KNOW RIGHT. I was thinking "it was one movie girl calm down" lawl.

Maybe I should play to that? Maybe because I had been hesitant to say "we're dating" or "let's tell our friends" that maybe that's why she's hesitant in getting closer and all? And that makes it awkward because she wants it to be clear cut "we're dating now" because otherwise she's thinking "are we still just friends?" because I won't say anything? And that's why she's being shy and all? Hell now that I think of it wasn't I freaking out over "are we still just friends" because we hadn't made out?

Seems funny now lol. Basically I'm too shy to say "we're a couple" because we haven't even made out. She's too shy to make out because I haven't even said "we're a couple" yet. Or at least that's a possible theory (seem solid??)

From my perspective this is all brand new (simply because like you said we haven't even kissed) so I'm a bit wary of being like 'heyyyy everone this is my girlfriend' but is that what I should do?

Or is that a bad idea?

>>17705089
we're both 18 why do you ask?

>>17705106
>we're both 18 why do you ask?
Because she sounds about 14. From what you've said, she definitely just likes the idea of being in a relationship, but doesn't necessarily want to be involved in what goes into a relationship, if that makes sense. Like, if she *actually* wanted to date you, she wouldn't be so averse to moves that you're making on you

But since you're supposedly both adults, this is something you should be able to talk to her about.

>>17705110
lmao desu we're both a bit inexperienced and awkward. In all fairness it probably only seems that I'm better because I'm a guy and this is a mostly male board so my interests (SEX NOW) are probably more relateable.

I imagine if she was posting a similar thing on a different site full of women they might say that I sound 14 because I won't just go and say "we're dating"

Also I didn't say that she was averse it was really just that I don't really know what to do and maybe I'm trying to be too subtle (smooth lol) with the escalation that it's not getting across

she hasn't been totally unresponsive we just both don't know how to act lmao

not sure what you mean I should "talk to her about though"?

Should I just kinda give her what she wants? Be a bit more public about how we're dating and hope that makes her less shy too?

>>17705152
Jesus Christ kill me now... you sound like the quintessential 15 year old meme lord. like actually murder me pls

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>>17705025
Girl here.

Just make it clear you're in a relationship. Publicly. It'll make her feel accepted.

>>17705032
>>17705088
>>17705110
These guys have likely never been in a serious relationship. Honestly, it's not great that you're trying to think about 'when will I be able to get some' when she wants to discuss the future of the relationship.

>>17705270
>I Haven't Read The Thread: The Post

>>17705268
whaddo you mean?

I admit I am kinda spazzing out now lol but hey all this is making my mind go haywire which I think is normal lol

>>17705278
not to mention this great /pol/ info graphic

>>17705279
mate i didnt go this crazy the first time i fucked a women, just calm down. Your actually contracting onities right now i swear....

>>17705270
>These guys have likely never been in a serious relationship.
Are you implying that OP's relationship is serious? Because I'm pretty sure my 3 year relationship where we've kissed and had sex is more serious than OP's.

>>17705270
>trying to think about 'when will I be able to get some'
yeah pretty much ;P

I'm not trying to be all serious right off the bat though. Not sure what to do but maybe you're right idk

>>17705284
lmao she's closer to a crush than a oneitis I may be sounding weird but don't worry I'm not the obsessive type
>>17705286
man I don't even remember when this became a relationship lol. Good to be optimistic I guess though lol

>>17705278
>>17705286
Missing the point

Reread please.

>>17705292
Question: how do YOU see this 'relationship'?

>>17705297
Your point wasn't relevant to the posts you linked to?

And you seem to have missed the point of OP's post. OP's problem lies in the fact that she's getting ahead of herself and labelling it a relationship and telling people they're dating, when OP doesn't even feel like that's what's happening. They haven't even hung out one-on-one. You never even addressed this, all you said was "hurr durr, you're in a relationship" which is something his 'girlfriend' could have said

>>17705270
>gril here

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>>17705061
honestly dude, if you're in a relationship the whole point is to be in a relationship, and therefore any worrying about someone else's perception of your relationship ("what are we so i can tell my friends") is completely irrelevant. if she's more focused on that than on the actual content of your interactions, then you deserve to clarify with her the same way she asked to with you.

you can ask/tell her any of the following (with good intentions and sincerity) and you are totally not being a douchebag
"what does this mean for us? what does a relationship mean to you? i like you a lot and i think you're pretty and you make me happy to look at and be around and i'd like to kiss you or hug you or hold hands with you or do stuff together or [insert activity here that is LITERALLY ANYTHING BEYOND JUST TELLING OUR FRIENDS THAT WE'RE NOW DATING] so how does any of that sound"

douchebag territory comes with being pushy without asking about boundaries, holding the relationship hostage unless she complies with your expectations, etc.

>>17705300
We were friends. I enjoyed her company a lot (especially 1 on 1) and she's cute so I wanted to see where it'd go lol

What I want is really just to get more intimate (including physically) and just to enjoy the ride

>>17705312
to be clear we have hung out one on one and I don't think she's actually told anyone yet

>labelling it a relationship
>when OP doesn't even feel like that's what's happening

yeah this is pretty much it. Maybe it's that I want it to 'go somewhere' before labelling it a relationship and she wants it to be labeled/official before we 'go somewhere' with it.

So how do I solve that dilemma lol? Is there some way to meet her halfway? Or am I even misinterpreting what the dilemma is?

I'm not even opposed to telling people soonish. I just want SOMETHING to happen first. I can't tell my friends I'm "dating" a girl before I even kiss her ;/ Right?

>>17705312
My point was that it's not unreasonable to clarify both people's intentions before jumping into bed

>>17705336
No, it's not, but it's equally not unreasonable to clarify both people's intentions before telling the world you're dating. OP is clearly uncomfortable with her not doing so at this stage of their 'relationship' and that's what OP wants help with.

>>17705327
>So how do I solve that dilemma lol?
I still say you just talk to her. It doesn't have to be a serious conversation, it can just be something like "hey, you've been telling people we're dating, are we? Because it doesn't really feel like it to me" and go from there

>>17705325
part of it is definitely my fault

I'm too shy to say all that about

>i like you a lot and i think you're pretty and you make me happy to look at and be around and i'd like to kiss you or hug you or hold hands with you

at least not out of nowhere. I mean when would the opportunity to say that arise? I'm not uber-awkward but I just need to know when is it right to say that stuff?

Did I mention I still don't seem to get her alone very often? Maybe it's because all our friends think we're still just friends.... That and we're both awkward... Man I'm fucking up ;/

In her defense it must seem too similar to when we were just friends so maybe she's asking about telling friends just to solidify it? So that she's not second guessing?

>>17705344
Well neither of us know what it means yet idk if that's the best plan. I think I should show not tell right?

Also I don't think she told anyone just yet to be clear.

>>17705351
>Well neither of us know what it means yet idk if that's the best plan. I think I should show not tell right?
She's not a mind reader. She's not going to know you're uncomfortable with the situation if you don't tell her. Assuming you didn't lie about your age, you're an adult and you should be able to communicate, inexperienced or otherwise. If she can't handle it, then clearly there's a difference in maturity, one that could be fatal to your relationship, or whatever it is.

>>17705361
I didn't lie about the age lol. It would be no help to me if I did (since I requested advice on how to do this stuff in COLLEGE since I'm new to all that).

I guess you're right I should probably just stop being a bitch and just say it.

Now the only issue is how I'll find the privacy to have this conversation lol.

It's gonna be harder since our friends and my roommates still think we're just friends. Ain't that a catch-22 ;/

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Maybe /adv/ can give me a hand here?

I've been friends with this one girl for a few years now. This has been our last semester of college, and we have two classes together - usually we'll spend the day with each other afterwards.

Lately we've been "going out" more, either to the mall or to a diner we frequent ever since I took her. She and I have pet names for each other now, and lately she's been more touchy than usual. I feel a new sense of warmth whenever I'm with her too, and a new appreciation for things I never really noticed before - like her smile, or her makeup on certain days.

Last night I dropped her off after spending the day with her and went to give her a hug, but the timing was off and we nearly bumped lips. She turned away, so I just pressed my cheek to hers awkwardly and she giggled and said "oh, that was weird."

I enjoy what we have now, but I feel like there's potential for something more - it's driving me crazy.

As good of friends as we are, is there a subtle way to see if she feels the same? Would it be risky if I just outright asked if she ever considered dating me? Should I just let this feeling blow over?

I appreciate any input!

>>17705472
OP here. I just outright asked. It wasn't a few years though (I knew of her for awhile but I'd say we were friends for a month or so).

>usually we'll spend the day with each other afterwards.
>pet names for each other now, and lately she's been more touchy than usual
>we nearly bumped lips. She turned away, so I just pressed my cheek to hers awkwardly and she giggled and said "oh, that was weird."

bruh holy fuck you are going on WAY more than I did just ask her out explicitly.

Also since you have more college experience than me. How do I get more privacy/alone time on campus? If I coordinate with my roommates then maaaybe my place but are there other options?

>>17705490

I suppose I could just ask her, I think we're comfortable enough with each other that she'd give me an honest answer. She's had some failed relationships in the past and once confided in me that she'd rather get herself a guy who would spoil her with no emotional attachment - but I think that was out of bitterness.

Maybe when the moment feels right.

Most of our alone time is off-campus, I'll drive her around town and we'll just talk about life and get lunch / dinner / coffee. We both work for our college's newspaper, so occasionally we have the newsroom to ourselves.

There's also a nature trail on campus that we sometimes walk. Usually she and I sit on the little bridge there and there's rarely anyone else.

>>17705526
>There's also a nature trail on campus that we sometimes walk. Usually she and I sit on the little bridge there and there's rarely anyone else.
fuuuck y'all are adorable I want that adorable shit too how'd you do it

>>17705025
just put your fingers in her mouth.

Worked for me

We've been together almost 3 years

>>17705594

She goes there all the time and asked if I wanted to join her one day. It's become a regular habit now. I never really considered her to be "adorable" until recently, so I wonder why now all of a sudden. Sometimes she'll do things and I'll tell her I think it's cute just to make her blush, but it's never really flirtatious.

>>17705618
>I'll tell her I think it's cute just to make her blush
>but it's never really flirtatious
are you trolling or something....
this is like the quintessential cutesy couple thing
>>17705617
yessir will report back soon