Cheating

I think you should stay single and burn yourself out. That's the only true answer. If you find yourself cheating on girls left and right the one for you hasn't come along yet.

I've never cheated on my 5 year long bf. But if this isn't some of the most boring days lately.
>I'm 24 and he's 33
>We both like video games.
>He is slowly getting mad at me for playing video games.
>Has debt from terrible choices in his life
>Try to help him a little but I can barely save money
>don't have sex for weeks even though I want to
>has anger issue and get into arguments about the smallest shit that last for days

I love him, but if this year hasn't been the greatest and I don't know what to do anymore.

>>17703111
I think you should stay single.
Honestly, it can hurt a lot to be cheated on. Even more so when you form a relationship with the person you are cheating with.
I think you will accumulate a lot of negative energy if you continue doing this.

>>17703121
I've become so filled with hatred and mistrust as a result of my cheating, and that just makes it even harder to stop. It consumes you into a cycle

>>17703111
I respect you. This is what you gotta keep doing.

>>17703111
I don't understand why you continue to enter relationships? Makes no sense if by admission you want sexual variety. I think it's not the sex but you want to humiliate the woman and why you pretend then betray over and over and over.

>>17703126
Why do you feel hate and mistrust?
Are you cheating on girls who also have significant others and you are seeing how sleazy the world is?

Look, I heard it on the radio:
"Bragging to me about having sex with a prostitute is like bragging about buying chips from a vending machine. Chips taste good."

The same could be said about sleeping around. Sure, it feels good, but it isn't anything that enviable. It feels good to eat a nice meal. To take a bubble bath. You aren't doing anything special.

Sex with someone you truly love and trust, that is something special and enviable.

>>17703126
Do you hear yourself talking? "By being a shitty person I no longer trust other people to be good persons, and because they might be as shitty as I am I continue being a cunt"?

Just accept that (monogamous) relationships are off the table for the next couple of years at least.

I've been doing the same thing to my significant other for two years

Yesterday I had a break down and for the first time felt really really bad about it

Then I got over it and was right back to doing it. I'm such a piece of shit. I don't know why or how I can stop. She's far from ideal and sometimes I wonder if I had my version of an ideal would I do the same, or is this because of her?

OP have you ever been cheated on?

My addiction mostly started when I was and I haven't been able to trust very well. It's one of the main reasons I do it along with wanting to experience more women. It's selfish and fuckdd up and terrible addiction that hurts the ones you love he most

>>17703139
>or is this because of her?
No one is perfect and if you need a partner to be "ideal" for you to keep it in your pants then yeah, the problem's with you.

>>17703132

Not op but. I wanna have my cake and eat it too. I want sex when I need it and love when I need it but I also want the variety

I'm also not always good at getting laid and I go through dry smells of 4-5 months and it's really hard as a single man when you're horny and can't get laid and have to pretend like everyone wants you.

>>17703146
The thing is that for most decent people, cheating on someone they "love" kind of ruins the entire intimacy aspect of a romantic relationship because you know you are fucking them over anytime they do something sweet for you.

Why not embrace that you're a douchebag and work harder to get long term FWBs or be one of multiple lovers in a polyamorous set up, stuff like that?

>>17703143

I said my version of ideal. That doesn't mean perfect, far from it.

However my gf is a basket of problems and is overweight. I've more or less settled for her initially and slowly fell in love with her

Her love and loyalty makes me feel secure

She taught me how to love and trust again

Most of my cheating comes from the fear and trauma that I'll be cheated on, so I do it first and if it happens i won't feel as hurt

>>17703111
You're a piece of shit and you deserve to hate yourself.

I am similar. I also cheat, but I don't form relationships with other people. I don't want to hurt my significant other, but the excitement having sex with someone new is just different from what we have. I also tell the other women that I have a partner and am not wanting to form a relationship with them or anything lasting more than a few times at all. And while most of you will probably say it's pathetic, it does give you an ego boost if a girl you're just getting to know wants to suck your dick and swallows even though she knows she'll not get anything back from you.

>>17703155
That's all grand but you're pathetic if you sincerely believe your own bullshit here.

I am not saying that the stuff you are listing is bullshit. But using it to try to avoid responsibility for your own actions is and shows a lack of character.

YOU choose to be with your girlfriend and to not break up with her. Whatever failings she has are frankly irrelevant unless she is threatening to literally shoot you up when you leave. You cannot at the same time stay with her AND argue that she's such a bad partner that you shouldn't have to show her basic respect, or that it's natural for you to stray.

Likewise for fear/trauma of being cheated on. Right now YOU are the heartless cunt you fear to run into. You are protecting your own feelings for a hypothetical scenario at the expense of a person close to you in an actual scenario. You care more about avoiding the risk of potential future pain for yourself than about avoiding the risk of her concrete, real pain. Hell, you care more about lowering the risk for yourself than you care about avoiding the risk for her.

And this is your spineless excuse for "most of" your cheating. Just face that you are the horror partner that people are afraid to run into. And for the record, I am also irrationally afraid of being cheated on, guess what I do about it? I remain single and work out my issues without dumping them on an unsuspecting innocent person I supposedly care for. Save me your horseshit.

>>17703150
>The thing is that for most decent people, cheating on someone they "love" kind of ruins the entire intimacy aspect of a romantic relationship because you know you are fucking them over anytime they do something sweet for you.

It's surprisingly easy to compartalize. People have these ideals of their love never doing anything bad, but it likely has happened. After you get more experience in relationships and get cheated on or cheat you realize you really CAN love someone and also cheat on them. Love is not a guarantee that the other person won't screw you over. It's likely 100% chance that it will happen. Perhaps I'm cynical. Maybe someone that has been in several long term relationships can chime in.

after watching my friends cheat on their long term S.O.s it makes me wonder if one can cheat on someone they TRULY love or only people they don't feel strongly about. I feel there's always one person in the relatjonship that likes the other more.

>>17703139
this isn't a fucking addiction and damn not a legitimate excuse. you just lack self control and really don't give a goddamn about anyone but yourself.

>>17703171
Perhaps for you. But it is hard to tell. I don't believe that people don't cheat on someone they love, but I also believe that in most couples that stay together despite one partner cheating, the relationship is absolutely tainted in the cheater's eyes, and they at least have bouts of guilt.

Cheating can also take many forms. There is a world of difference between getting blind drunk and kissing someone else then confessing while crying - or sitting here calmly saying that yeah, you kind of want to have both love and random sex so too bad for any partner you'll ever have. That's not human error. That's narcissist/sociopath level cold.

>>17703166
I think I know that better than anyone else

>>17703170

I'm not here to say my actions are ethical. I'm definitely self aware enough to recognize I'm a piece of shit. If I ran into myself in a relationship. I would hate me, definitely. I was merely giving you context for my behavior not excusing it. I know my actions are deplorable. I spent half an hour crying at how terrible I am to my gf yesterday. I hadn't cried in years.

I cannot leave my S.O even in periods when I'm unhappy, resentful, have better options. I'm not sure if this translates to love, attachment, possessiveness, or just fear or breaking up/hurting her. Everytime I've thought about ending it, even in emotional fights when I wanted to I could not. I do have very strong feelings about her. I will tell you that.

Humans are more complicated than black and white. Once you're on both sides of the fence you'll realize that. It's easy to demonize those who hurt you. I often think of the girl who did this to me and what her motivations are...at some level..I understand. Maybe I wasnt that great at fulfilling a need she had.

Ps: imo being single to "work on yourself" is a meme. No one in relationships has it all together or has waited to "love themselves" before they get into one. The partner you chose will be the same

>>17703146
can't help you anon. takes one hell of a selfish person to to lie and string along an unsuspecting lamb to abuse over and over.

I'm not naive enough to believe there are not a multitude of folks that live their lives like you though. Take solace there are many trusting women out there so you will never run out of prey.

>>17703134
This isn't really an excuse, but another main reason why I cheat is because the girls I've been with have all had problems. They've been bi-polar, one was a rape victim that I had to save, they'v had a lot of emotional baggage that has really taken a toll on me. I'm not trying to make myself as a sad hero or excuse my actions by any means, I just hope that offers another explanation

>>17703139
Its not a fucking addiction, I made that quite clear in my first post.

>>17703186
Coward

>>17703176

Contrary to what you think. I am not a selfish person in the relationship. In fact, I am very giving and often have a tendency to put all her needs before mine. From sex, to time, to food, to emotional support. I give her everything and require nothing from her. I'm a giver to an extreme. I wish I knew how to be more selfish or ask for my needs but I don't know how.
Being a man requires you to provide and take nothing.

Cheating doesn't mean you're going to be selfish in the relationship or a douche, however it is in of it self an incredibly selfish and hurtful action and just because your partner is nice doesn't mean they won't.

I thought my cheating partner loved me with all their hearts, and they even said it often but it still happened. I honestly believe in my heart she had strong feelings for me, yet she still cheated on me. I'm just saying it doesn't mean it's not going to happen.

I'm just here to tell you how I see it without the fairytale ideals we're often fed

>>17703203
>>17703203

I'm not sure how name calling is going to effect me. I already recognize I'm a terrible person. I don't shy away from that. We're anons and both have the same value. I'm only here to tell you this to open your mind a little and give you something to think about. Im telling you something that most people think but would never say.

>>17703186
Actually I have never been cheated on (that I know of) and my only involvement in that way is that I have been the lover once. Doesn't mean that I excuse it in any way. I know what I did was shit and what my motivations were is not relevant at all. Obviously people don't fall into two neat categories but the stuff you hashed out here still goes beyond a fuck up you confessed to or even being deeply torn between two women you love. That it could be worse and that you're not Hitler doesn't mean you have not done an awful thing to another human being for a long time, and still don't have the strength to put a stop to it one way or another.

And there's a difference between not being some perfect, polished end product and realizing that you have an issue so severe that it cripples you when it comes to being a partner to the person you want to be with. I am sure that your girlfriend wished you spent time or yourself or whatever else before turning to her.

>>17703216
I'm aware the tag will not affect you but it helps remind me cowards live among us and are very dangerous. Some are not aware they are cowards till challenged but those that know and pretend to be otherwise to the unsuspecting especially so. You get no points for confessing on an anonymous board.

>>17703179

I agree that cheating forever taints the relationship and is completely irrecoverable when found out. When it happened to me it was hard but I had to leave.

>Cheating can also take many forms. There is a world of difference between getting blind drunk and kissing someone else then confessing while crying - or sitting here calmly saying that yeah, you kind of want to have both love and random sex so too bad for any partner you'll ever have. That's not human error. That's narcissist/sociopath level cold.

Most women will proclaim the former when found out(I was drunk, his penis going into me was an accident) but actually follow the latter(they'd like a lover and someone on the side). I have personally seen the text exchanges between my then gf who cheated and the guy she was with. It was a relationship held on for several months. She was never ever drunk and it was calculated. She stopped letting me leave hickys so he would not see. She would text me and him at the same times, and use the same nudes. The "I was drunk" is the stupidest excuse. No one, no one forgets they're in a relationships when drunk. I surely don't and the women or people who say this are merely trying to absolve their guilt.

At least I recognize my sins.

>>17703234
That people try to paint off what happened as something they feel is less incriminating hardly matters. And no, alcohol's not an excuse but it does make your impulse control worse and impairs your judgment. That it doesn't mean you're not responsible doesn't mean that going with an impaired impulse isn't different from calmly reasoning that you care less about your partner's happiness than about your strange pussy and actively go looking for an extra bedpartner - just to name something.

>>17703231
>>17703231

Cowards live among you, liars live among you, sociopaths live among you...and you know what? Most of them are regular everyday humans. You'd never be able to tell that guy is a racist piece of shit, or that girl is cheating on her husband. Evil is human.

It's likely you're a piece of shit too that has done fucked up(this is not an insult), and likely either rationalize any terrible actions you've taken or are not self aware enough to recognize them. Which is it?

>>17703111
I cheat because I can and get away with it. It's easy to cheat on a man, their fragile ego makes it difficult to allow for the possibility their gf/wife would want another man. Makes them blind and apt to believe the flimsiest fib

>>17703253
>>17703253

It doesn't impair your judgment at all, it just makes you give less of a fuck about your ethics. It only lets you do what you wanted to do to begin with, and gives you the excuse.

I have been nearly blackout drunk, and never ever was about to cheat on my then girlfriend.

Drinking merely lowers your inhibitions and let's you do what you WANT to do but are too scared to, it doesn't make you do things you'd never do.

>have sweet GF
>nice, young, cute
>think she's cheating on me, get that vibe
>see shit online I don't like involving her with another guy
>she blows it off, # of excuses
>i believe her, but don't, ya know?
>over time, start taking our relationship less seriously
>get a golden opportunity to cheat on her
>take it with, although reluctant at first
>have incredible guilt afterwards
>decide to dig deeper into our relationship of secrets
>1337 h4x0r on her facebook account
Well, shit, she's been cheating on me
>Call her on her lunch break
>Tell her we're breaking up, I found her conversations on facebook, yadda yadda.
>can't help but blurt out that I cheated on her too
>she's humbled completely
>we break up, but we're still fucking
>turns back into another relationship
>think we can both do better this time around
>i'm still broken over the fact she was cheating the whole time our first relationship
>i keep snooping through all her social media.
>well, she's doing it again guys
>break up again
>get lonely
>despite fucking other women, I think the fact one of those girls was married had some sort of a trigger for me that if her man stays with her through this, why can't I stay with my girl through her shit
>get back with girlfriend
>still feel like a major cuck
>drag it on for awhile
>major sex decline from my end
>realize she's not attractive to me anymore after all of this
>break up with her

Haven't had any additional feels yet. Haven't had any mindless sex with other women yet. Just been keeping to myself, and enjoying time with friends.

I think relationships are always going to involve cheating and major drama, so I think I'm just going to try and live a happy life with myself, and not worry about having a girlfriend or anything.

>>17703259
>>17703259

See guys? This is what I'm talking about you. It seems many of you are mad because it's hard of you to believe

But this is the world we live in. Humans want what they don't have, what they already do have is boring and not exciting.

>>17703257
I've done it all, true. I am self aware and had the strength to stop. No one forced me. Because I have done it all does help in spotting the fucked up and broken and steer myself and those not so world wise away from them.

>>17703272
yeah but you don't hear me talking about guilt. I get a crush or some well deserved attention that is an incredible aphrodisiac and make it happen. The wooing and coyness and desire planning and cover up just part of a game.

>>17703220
>That it could be worse and that you're not Hitler doesn't mean you have not done an awful thing to another human being for a long time, and still don't have the strength to put a stop to it one way or another

I never said it could be worse or that I'm not hitler. I don't know where this came from.

I fully recognize I'm too weak to stop it. I promised myself I would last night. Let's see if it holds up. I'm going to try my best.

But someone wanting me is too alluring. I'm too insecure, I dislike myself and constantly need validation to maintain any semblance of a self esteem, which is already poor. I need women to validate me. That's a poor way to feel valued but it's true. My girlfriend's sex drive also does not match mine, and there's nothing to be done regarding that. And I love her too much to break up with her over sex.

>>17703119
Breakup. I was the guy in your position. Being alone has helped me way more then being with my ex who financially supported me and my mental health. I was an angry, on edge tempered dude that didn't want to do shit. Id still get head but i never wanted to have sex. I still havent had sex for 3 months? A lot of much needed introspection that's changed my life quick. Watch out though, once the breakups done with he's gonna blossom. My ex got a new boyfriend and still wants me back because i turned into who i was before the relationship but better. I've had 3 new girlfriends since and broke up with them all.

>>17703288
>>17703288

It's too obvious that you're trolling and not a real girl

>>17703302
why, because I gave the same reason OP did for doing this but devoid of guilt? Cheating is art and science and doesn't have to be messy and drama prone. Men talk of hit it and quit, well women can do it too and it's easier.

>>17703193
Been with girls like that. Never cheated but I was miserable. Just left my girl of 3 years two weeks ago and my love life is better and miserable at the same time. She was beautiful, perfect in bed, just the right amount of "kinky" I did everything I could for her, and she knew it.

Helped her a lot but she wouldn't help herself so my life stayed shitty while hers got better, it was one sided. I left and now she's heartbroken and so am i but I never would've moved on in life otherwise.

Just stay away from those kind of girls for relationships.. I don't know how I'll do it myself but we both need to or we'll repeat the cycle

>>17703193
Then stop getting together with crazies ffs. What are you thinking? You can't fix other people simply by fucking them good enough and making them your gf. Also, if crazy chicks are the only ones you can get a relationship with, then there's clearly a problem with you and you should fix yourself first.

>>17703134
Its funny cause that true love sex only comes with a bitch whos cheating on you. Or you fall and fuck the entire thing up eh. Kinda kills it lmao

>>17703193

Other cheater here. This is also a main reason. Many of my lovers have had serious bagged and problems. daddy issues abound

>>17703193
>>17703193

I'm the other guy who's been posting in your thread. My girls all had this similar pattern...and it did make more likely to cheat. It can be emotionally draining taking care of them.

It's hard to explain unless you've been with a girl with baggage

Why do you think the girls we get are always like this?

>>17703155
>settling
NEVER do that, even if you fall in love later. As you see, even that love can't make you forget that seh isn't really for you. That's practically like an arranged marriage, and there are reasons why nearly everyone cheated back when those were a thing. Are you really that much of a pussy you can't bear being single until you meet a girl you genuinely like? Damn dude, be a Man!

>>17703206
Keep telling yourself that. It's quite obvious that you only believe your own bullshit.

>>17703111

>I know its wrong but I just can't help it.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with cheating on someone. Do what feels good and makes sense, you can't expect to be responsible for how other people feel.

>>17703355
source: psychopath

>>17703342
I don't know, I've been told that I have a very nurturing personality (weird, I know) and they're drawn to that. Maybe I was too nice back when I met them? Who knows

>>17703365
>, I've been told that I have a very nurturing

Are you me? That's mostly the role I play with these girls. Being their confident, savior, life fixer, person to go to when everything in their life goes to shit. It can be draining because not only can you not rely on them at all, you're so busy fixing them you can't work on your own life.I'm definitely too nice.

Are you currently in a relationship? What's your gf like now?

>>17703352

Not really.

See
>>17703365

I'm not the only one

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I was an ugly kid, virgin until I was 22. I've been cheating on girls - mostly girls I meet online - particularly from 4chan for years and years.

I get bored of them sexually, move on to a new one, rinse repeat.

I know I'm a terrible person. But I'm not a sociopath. I wish I could treat a girl well and only have one.

I'm sorry femanons.

>>17703376
Yup, got a gf but might not work because of the distance. She comes from a very poor family, dad used to beat her and brother molested her. I didn't get with her knowing any of this, but now it feels too late.

>>17703407
How do you meet girls through 4chan?
It boggles the mind.
Also, stop getting into relationships, learn how to talk to girls and pick them up IRL or maybe on tinder, then fuck so much that you get tired of it and can feel like you made up for time lost. THEN go and look for a serious gf.

t. didn't lose it till 26 and did just that

>>17703301
Are you going to get back with her?

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>>17703119
sounds amazingly depressing, why on earth are you settling for 'lame'?