Please help

Those are things you should overcome regardless of your current situation.

I can write more, but just woke up, and most of my points will be furiously protested against, so first tell me:
Would you like to search yourself, and see if you can find a place within, where you can accept being with someone who also sees other people, possibly see other people yourself, and still build a loving relationship with this woman?

If you only want to change her, or listen to everyone who will inb4 degenerere whore leave leave leave, then I'm out.

>>17702504
You ain't the same as her man trust me, if you feel this way now you won't change. She may be great and all but there are alot of women out there man don't settle for something thats going to rip you apart because it sounds like it already is. Break it off before you fall deeper anon, life is long man you don't need this shit in your life right now.

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You're not comfortable with poly. That's totally fine, I'm a strict monogamist myself.

But you put yourself in this position, she made it very clear what she wants. All you can do is either suck it up or move on. Personally I advise the latter because this is not something you can just rationalize away. I've seen a lot of guys in your position try to stick around and it just ate them alive.

>>17702533
I want nothing more than to build a loving relationship with this woman and I feel like I could see other women but I don't really feel the need to at the moment. Ive found myself hitting up past fwb lately but it almost seems as if I would be doing it to "get back" at her per say.

As far as searching myself (soul searching) I have no idea really how to do that... I'm not sure if that is from the years of booze or I am subconsciously refusing to let my brain do that .

I want to ask her what she has been up to tonight at some point today but I know that will push her away even more as I have been aggressive in that area as of late and she responded to all of this with being "drained"

I don't know I just don't know how to handle this

Btw I'm 26m and she is a 26f

>>17702555

Don't be so cruel to yourself and let her go, it's only been a couple of month so moving on shouldn't take you very long at all. I think part of your feelings for her are stemming from her not being that into you, seeing other people and responding to you with "drained" when you ask how she is. Objectively speaking she doesn't sound like a catch, you just have to realise yourself she isn't for you.

>>17702555
I'm >>17702533

>see other women but I don't really feel the need to at the moment.
That's because you're more into her, which is fine and normal.
BUT
It doesn't meant you can't enjoy a sexual lifestyle of fucking other women further down the line, without ever worrying about morals. This is the first argument for acknowledging and treasuring poly.

>Ive found myself hitting up past fwb lately but it almost seems as if I would be doing it to "get back" at her per say.
I know exactly how that feels, but count yourself lucky, because I was exclusive with my former girlfriend at the time we decided to open things up, and of course she got laid a lot easier than I did, so my furious attempts at "getting back" proved disasterous, and it took me a good 15 months before I was truly ready to sleep with other women, without thinking about the "get even"-race between us. You knew this was a thing from the start, which means you'll have to adjust before getting completely infatuated and lost in a hook.

>As far as searching myself (soul searching) I have no idea really how to do that... I'm not sure if that is from the years of booze or I am subconsciously refusing to let my brain do that .
When Everything Changes, Change Everything
by Neal Donald Walsch

>I want to ask her what she has been up to tonight at some point today but I know that will push her away even more as I have been aggressive in that area as of late and she responded to all of this with being "drained"
Sign of neediness. Do not show her, at best it's way too early. Work alone on these issues.

All in all, it takes tremendous commitment to build such a relationship, but in the end you'd be a stronger, more open, more free individual than you can imagine. It's not easy, but who said love should be?
The arguments against monogamy, is in my honest opinion and view, a lot stronger.

Consider openly talking about your feelings. Not putting pressure on her but explaining rationally and giving her a chance to reassure you.
Also watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpH-sIU8vA0

>>17702504
People who are polyamorous are psychopaths that are incapable of feeling real emotions. If you're not also like that then it's a fucking stupid idea to get involved with one of them.

>>17702504
>from the beginning she told me she was into the open / poly thing
And yet you didn't believe she was telling you the truth. Since you didn't believe her you will not believe any one here who would advise you to find someone monogamous like yourself. If you are foolish enough to willingly put yourself in situations that cause you pain then you deserve the pain you get and I for one have so sympathy.

>>17702764
stupid, only if you're not ready to be a real smart man about it.

I can only speak for myself, but I am far from incapable of real emotions. I am however, not in a relationship, but the women I date, I devote myself completely to, when we spend time together, and I am not interested in playing games with anyone. If they're not into "sharing" me, then I don't date them.

>>17702773
Where is it writ large that pain should be avoided at all costs? How the fuck do you grow into anything?

I have experienced pain in life, like all life forms in the history of this planet, and for that I am that I am.

If emotional pain is what OP is afraid of, then by all means go out hunting for your Disney fantasy. Happy, content and loving monogamy will very rarely last a lifetime.
A lot of people go into relationship wanting to believe that it does, and many are happy believing it for many years, and to those I say good luck and prosper. But pain will come one day, no matter what you do.

>>17702785
You correctly point out pain will come to us all but to go looking for it is foolish. If you are trying to imply I choose one lifestyle over another you are mistaken. What I address, if it don't fit don't force it.

>>17702811
By all means. I can only live my own life, and I'm content af, although I can understand how many people would think it more strife than they'd care to partake in.

You choose your own battles. I find it more interesting to look for trouble, because I either die fighting or grow beyond recognition, gaining much more to write about, and landing somewhere I'd actually want to be. The mundane feels like a stranger and a suffocator to me, rendering my life superfluous, and I certainly don't want to grow into a grumpy old geezer, who can't remember the last time he had his cock blown. Monogamy will do that to you.

She's not going to change OP. All you can do is be comfortable with it or move on. I was in a similar situation with someone. I tried to be comfortable but I couldn't not be jealous and I realized I needed to be in a monogamous relationship. A few weeks of misery for a break up now will be better than years of it though if you simply can't handle the idea of her with other people.

>>17702504
If she told you from the start you knew what you were getting into dog, if it's not something you can live with I'd honestly suggest calling it off and finding someone who likes being loyal.

>>17702504
Anon this sounds like a really tough situation. I'd suggest considering a therapist or counsellor to talk to, they're very good at helping you understand what you're feeling and why exactly, and how to deal with these feelings.

What you're feeling sounds pretty normal. You're scared she'll find somebody better and you don't want to lose her, nor do you fancy being second or third best on her hump list.

Deal with your feelings before you take them out on her for being who she is. You'll come out of it knowing yourself better and being much more confident on your pro/against stance on Poly. Remember, works for some but not for all.

She's cheating on you and you are a cuck.

>>17702504
Me and my girlfriend do something similar to this. While most cucks are guys who get cheated on by their girlfriends and are too pussy to fight back despite not liking it, me and my bitch found out early on we had fantasies of her fucking other guys, so basically while we are swingers, we pretend in front of other guys that we are a cuckold couple. She is 30 and I am 27 and she likes to pick up guys from bars where college boys hang out.

One fun thing we do is that she jerks me off before the guy comes in, and while she and him are having sex, she points to my penis struggling to get hard and she tells him its because I can't get it up (so he actually doesn't know it's only because I just came)

Another fun thing is after he has cum in her pussy we do this thing where I have a "ruined orgasm". I fuck her afterwards but I have to wear a condom, also I cannot cum while in her pussy, so I then pull out right before I cum, and even then I can't stroke my dick, I just gotta let it cum on its own, shit is so fucking hot, we only get to do this stuff maybe at most once or twice a month

What's below those eggs and bacon us it spam?

>>17702504
that sandwich gave me a boner
also youre a retard for associating with this woman. get some self respect

>>17703075
This post brings up something important.

That which scares you, should motivate you to be superior to her other options. This is GOAT advice for all men in relationship, no matter the arrangement agreed upon. It keeps you from becomming lazy, which in turn means you lower the risk of a suppossedly exclusive girlfriend of cheating on you, or resenting you for trapping her in something unfulfilling.

Open relationships does not mean there is a guarantee the parties involved will fuck other people, but the present risk serves as a level-headed reminder to be a better man than she could hope to find elsewhere.

>>17702504
How do you eat sandwiches like those anyway? Open wide? Peel it layer by layer?

Not American

>>17703658
I'm going to be crazy, and suggest one by one.

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>>17703994
found the American