Have I finally "gotten a life"?

>>17698893
Oooh, it's going to be really awkward when you'll get laid and will once again check in with yourself and think "Yup, that wasn't it". In other words, getting laid=/=having life.

b

>>17698912

This, getting laid wont fix anything. I have a degree, a nice car, a resonable job, a girlfriend and regular sex but still feel like a fucking loser.

Sex isn't the key to happiness.

>>17700404
Losing v card still makes you resistant to social stigma. Once I've lost it I no longer cared about bitches that much, since sex is nothing necessary "for having a life" indeed.

>>17698893

>one guy I know wants to train me to get better at dodgeball

Haha what? How the fuck did that come up? How exactly did he SUGGEST that?

>>17698893
I definitely feel you. Experienced exactly that(never gotten laid part too) although different in detail

I don't know how to 'live a life'. Been trying to have the most fun ive ever had everytime i go out but even doing that takes effort because its actually changing who i am.

>>17700421
Being virgin sucks and feel like once I lose it ill be bit more confident and less needy. I know its gonna happen soon enough tho.

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>>17698893
>one guy I know wants to train me to get better at dodgeball
He probably wants to train you to stop blocking the balls ;^) ;^)

>>17698893
>sports, exercise
>hygiene, grooming, fashion
>all for some sex
No wonder you feel like shit. Those things don't constitute a "life" if you're doing for a narrow and pointless goal; not for the things themselves and for your life in general.

>>17700438
I dunno he just offered, why
>>17700586
Well they have said I need to go for catches more, I'm really good at avoiding getting hit by dodging and blocking, and I've made a ton of plays where I push up and guard people or go solo and grab spare balls on the ground to deny the other team of them and get them for our team

Occasionally I pick someone off with a throw but it has to be either really close right up on them or they have to not be looking when I throw because my throw is a bit weak and inaccurate, easy to catch

Catching is hardest for me, never made one before because I just instantly go for dodge or block without thinking its hard to not do it

>>17698893
You've missed the point
Girls will fuck you for one of two reasons:
>They really want some D
>They really want YOU

Casual fuck girls are not difficult to come by, you just need to be sufficiently physically attractive and have a minor degree of charm.

For the remaining population of girls, they will only drop their panties if they (and broader society) see you as a person with some merit or value. You need to be an interesting person or have some interesting experiences in order to achieve this. A girl's value is linked to the man she is with. If she is with some wasteman, everyone will think that's all she could get.

This is why having a life gets you laid. The pussy is a side-effect of having a life. The more interesting you are, the more attractive you appear.

Just live your life, the pussy will flock to you naturally.

>>17701236
>They really want some D
>They really want YOU

Is that where the "slut/good girl" dichotomy people talk about comes from?

Are they mad at some girls for "giving it up too easy" or "dropping their standards" or whatever?
Because I've had a couple of chances before at parties to hook up but I was hyper paranoid about cops then and I didn't go for it (I should have)

It really is easy in those settings, anyone can do it if they aren't fat, bathe, brush/floss, and play dress up
The amount of socializing needed is minimum, if you can speak like a non-robot for 60 seconds your basically in


Its the whole "really want YOU" part that is required to get a girlfriend, one on one, get her on pills, etc

And that's the hard part, sometimes it feels impossible
Sometimes I feel like I've gotten to the point where I look like a normal person in passing, but if anyone talks too long to me or something they start to pick up on me not being quite there, I don't think anyone would ever call me "autistic" or "crazy" or something but I think they might just get some sort of feeling that something is "off" and they can't quite explain it

Not all people can pick up on this, some people haven't done it and I've been around them for a while, others do and when they do they either reduce how friendly they are but still act amicable, or they ghost me


Also it seems like girls are better at picking up on it than guys are


>This is why having a life gets you laid. The pussy is a side-effect of having a life. The more interesting you are, the more attractive you appear.

>Just live your life, the pussy will flock to you naturally.


So have I gotten a life? That's the whole point of the thread and no one has answered

>>17698893
>>lost a bunch of weight
Let me stop you there

Just because you are physically fit does not mean you can have a life, being fit enables you to do physical things I guess. But that is, if you even care to do these things in the first place. The meaning of life is your own, it is a tough thing. Never stop struggling

>>17701258
You are making progress. I don't think you're there yet.

You need to have a group of interesting friends that you see regularly. Girls want to see that you are social and y/our friends are a reflection on you. Weird friends = you are a weirdo. Niche interests are OK but there comes a point where a niche interest becomes anime club

You need to have interesting ideas. You need to have your own opinions be comfortable voicing them without being a douche. You need to be able to defend you opinion without backing down and also without being a prick. You need to listen to other's views. Your opinions do not have to be weird or out-there, it can be fairly average. Girls get moist if they can see that you will stand by your convictions because it implies that you COULD stand by her.

You need to talk about things in a positive way. Some people fall into the trap of consistently describing negative stories/events. Not attractive. People don't want to hear you bragging, either. You need to talk about positive opportunities. For example, I'm laying groundwork atm with a girl who loves travelling by chatting about the opportunity I have to work in the Far East in a technical field. The important thing to remember is that this is not bullshit, this is not a line. This is true stuff that is interesting about me that I didn't rub in her face- it came about in a conversation about plans for the next year and it is a good thing.

Do interesting things. Play sports/get hobbies. You don't have to be the quarterback to get the girl. I used to do fencing, bitches loved that shit cos it was unusual without being all "m'lady" about it. Girls would show up to practice randomly just to watch. Finding something you are good at is a bonus, but as long as you are passionate and enthusiastic that is all that really matters. Girls want to see passion. Team events/events with multiple participants are good- girls like social guys!

>>17701552
>cont

Ultimately, you can try too hard at all of this and it will definitely show. You need to build friends and connections. You will get invited to social events were people with no X chromosome attend and there will be a reasonable expectation that you will interact with them. Things will get better gradually.

People want to have fun in relationships. If girls can see you are having fun in your life, they will want to have fun too and have fun with you!

I know of only one short-cut to a more fun, more interesting life and that is to say "yes" to everything. The concept was bastardised by Jim Carrey but the book will show you a different way of living.
>https://www.amazon.co.uk/Yes-Man-Danny-Wallace/dp/0091896746

If you chose to say yes to everything, never tell anyone what you are doing. People will see it as shallow and meaningless. But there are important lessons to be learned, adventures to be had, stories to be shared and that is how you will find a girl that will let you dribble some semen inside her.

>>17701552
>>17701570
So basically just keep doing what I'm doing?

Do you think there is any chance I could get laid outside of drunken hook ups before the year is out? Or is this gonna be a 2 semester thing if I want a girlfriend

>>17702148
I've not chimed in till now, but it sounds like you are on the right path. I know I sound like an asshole when I say this, but these are other people and nobody ever just gets a girlfriend. You just have to go out and do things you enjoy for your own sake. Sounds like you are off to a good start since you are going out and meeting people and doing new things. I know its really frustrating to hear, but once you start doing things for yourself rather than just to meet people, things tend to come together.

>>17698893
You're doing really well man. You're fixated on getting laid which I understand is an important milestone when you're still a virgin but it's not all that important in the grand scheme. The thing is, you're building a life and cultivating a lot of new experiences. When you get laid and realize it's not all that big of a deal (or fall in love with your soulmate or some shit), you'll look around you and realize you've come a long way to a way better and more self-actualized existence.

There's a kinda shitty motivational comic that floats around /fit/ of this dude who gets his lady snatched away by marauders and then he goes through all these trials and tribulations and shit trying to get her back and he finally finds her and realizes she was a total skank who was all over this dude who supposedly kidnapped her the whole time, and he's pissed but then he looks in the mirror and sees how much better he's gotten and how much more of man he's become along the way and he basically kicks her to the curb and starts his life. That's you right now. Take pride in your accomplishment and your active social life, go out and get laid, and may it be everything you hoped it was but if it's not it's ok and you've got a lot of life to go out and live and a great foundation for doing it.

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>>17702212
>>17702181
It feels like progress is happening too slowly I don't want this to drag out into next year
It was supposed to be over by the end of this one

>>17702372
yo anon
i'm using you to procrastinate a bit, but here goes. went through college for years without getting very close with girls. read lots of dating books (and other self help) from both the red and blue side of the aisle, so let me distill the advice i can from the best of my ability.

on getting laid:
honestly it's all about physical intimacy. until you have a gf you feel fucking insane: touching anyone makes you feel like a rapist. you think of all the people that know when to go in for a kiss, that know when to caress a girls thigh and you're like, what the fuck? how do i even do this

you're not crazy though, just inexperienced. getting your first gf sort of lets your body learn by sheer induction: until then the number one thing stopping you from getting laid is girls will sense that, honestly, until you get genuinely comfortable enough with another human being to experience just how great sex will be you... don't actually really WANT it. not the way you want a good meal after starving all day. not the way you want a fuckin' lemonade in the hot sun. at some point you'll want sex organically, and you won't be focused on some insane calculation of transitioning from netflix to chill.

on getting a gf, getting a gf you care about:
don't worry too much about being normie. of course you don't want to just settle for whatever you are, fuck it, no growth, but, hell, you want to feel like your gf likes you for "you" and all the weird shit about you.

so this is where texting game comes in. cuz of facebook literally everyone in the world has become more autistic and asocial. they have integrated SOME of their identity online. every girl you know in college probably likes some obscure meme page you haven't even heard of.

integrate your sense of humor into your texting game and you'll 1. probably improve your texting game by making it more organic and 2. start screening for girls who you can jive with.

>>17702417
cont

on getting a life:

enjoy the fall weather motherfucker. there's a saying that every blade of grass is a different shade of green- of course that's probably absurd, but, who knows, i never checked, and there's way more shades than you'd realize if you didn't look.

i'm not telling you to wake up to some silly hedonic lifestyle where you're constantly trying to chase a euphoria buzz. but realize that time and memories are slipping away. a few years is all it takes to transform the things you're feeling now and put them into perspective, and you'll realize all the moments you can't get back.

anyway, more fortune cookie bullshit i vaguely remember: if you want to be happy for an hour, take a nap. if you want to be happy for a day, go fishing, happy for a month, get married. happy for a life time, help somebody.

reach out to other people. be there for your friends who are having a bad day. call your parents more when you can tell they miss you. reconnect with some of those hs friends you probably lost touch with.

that's the kind of stuff that really grounds you, not that you can't get caught up in the drama of your immediate social connections either.

anyway. been on here too long. good luck