ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

For everyone - how long did it take for you and your current SO to become official? Why did it take that long/short?

>>17698633
Claimed in the name of the Inquisition of Pegasus

>>17698634
Over a year, due to me being in a relationship when we met. After the breakup, we became a lot closer over a few months and just really hit it off.

So I often hear about how guys want to spend their 20s having fun but only later do they want to settle down. Anyone else have the opposite experience? Over the past year I've just been tempted to be a lot more lazy about college and just live the hermit life when before I wanted to settle down and find a career asap.

>>17698634
We were friends for a few years before dating, so we didn't really have a 'dating' period before we started a relationship.

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A girl randomly started talking to me after a while of not speaking after an argument, and then suddenly is quiet again, although we occasionally talk.

There's more to the story, but it's pointless. Anyways, do girls do this shit often? What's the end game? Was she bored for the days she started talking to me? It's just weird to me.

>>17698634
8 months.
We met online and even if we had feelings for each other we didn't want to be girlfriend and boyfriend before spending some time together.
We met after 2 months we knew each other and spent a week together, then again after 4 months. We visited at least once a month in between, just to meet up randomly for a day - it was 5 hours of train to reach the town we met in, halfway between us.
After 6 months he moved in with my parents and spent a month and half with us. At the end, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

We celebrate the first time he told me he loved me as our anniversary, tho.

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>>17698634
About 22 years.
We've had playdates since we were 4, first time I saw her naked was around the second day after we first met. First time we had sex was 14. Had a lot of sex with her in late teen years, even though we both dated other people, then we went to different universities, sort of drifted apart for awhile, then one day she came to my place crying and telling me she couldn't be with any guy without thinking about me. I joked it's ok she could be with him and think about me, maybe we could fool around sometimes, she tried to hit me, we hugged, we kissed. So I guess that's where we became official. Why did it take so long? perhaps we could've dated earlier but it didn't happen because both our parents don't approve of the things we did with each other at young age.

why are you such cunts?

More of a question that doesn't deserve its own thread, but is it worth putting a hobby on a CV/resume if it could come across as being shallow or superficial?

I'm hoping to talk to this girl I have a sort of crush on in the morning today.

If she's alone, I'm probably gonna walk up and say to her, "Hey you helped explain a problem on the exam to me last week, right? Did you get last lecture, I kinda struggled with it."

If she's in a group, I'll probably just straight up ask them, "Excuse me, I'm sorry but did any of you understand Thursday's lecture? I'm just a bit confused."

Hopefully I can carry the conversation past that and possibly sit with her in the class, but this isn't creepy/weird, right?

>>17698827
No, as a femanon I'd probably do something a bit similar if I was in the same setting. Don't lose your nerve!

A guy in my class just suddenly sat next to me, but he seems outta my league.
I can't tell if he's into me or shy or what, he dresses really well, seems to take care of himself and confident so I'm not sure if he's actually shy.

Would any of you randomly switch seats in the middle of semester? I'm thinking that he maybe did it to not sit behind this dude that's always stretching but why directly next to me?

>>17698836
DO YOU WANT HIM INSIDE YOU?
or something?
Honestly there's not enough data to conclude whether he likes you or not

Would a month be enough to get in touch with someone and start dating?
It feels like it should but dunno, I've been eyeing this girl on my class for a while but I've put it on hold because of some things I needed to clear and some things I needed to make sure of before actually trying to date someone again.

Anyways, now that I sorted things out I really want to pursue something with her, or well at least try, I've seen her giving me some glances basically every class and has a style that I just really like, but I'm wondering if it's too late after all this time and now I only got one month of class with her left.

Anyone really.

Whats the best way to tell if a girl has a boyfriend without looking like Creepy McGee?

How to keep romantic momentum in between dates, if those dates are spaced out quite a bit because we both have busy schedules?
I'm not much into texting and tend to avoid using it to converse with new people.

>>17698909
You can't 100% tell but there's some signs she MIGHT have one.

Is she texting all the time?
High chances she's constantly talking to her boyfriend
Is she wearing really nice clothes and basically going the extra mile to look good?
High chances she's trying to look pretty, either because she likes to look like that or because she wants people to notice, maybe both, but it's often a good sign.

Is it ever ok to tell my bf about my ex bf?

>>17698924
Depends on the context. As a rule of thumb though, probably no.

>>17698924
Does he wants to know?
Did he asked?

Is it relevant to a current situation or conversation?

If the answer is no, then why are you even thinking about it?

>>17698921
Thanks anon, I didn't notice this girl used her phone at all, at least for the hour or so post lecture.

I can't really tell "trying to look good" from "I found this under the bed and put it on this morning". And besides this girl is a lanklet, shopping pretty must be a nightmare.

>>17698634
Exclusive: 2 weeks
Official: 18 months
"I love you": 2 years

Because we're both damaged. Still togethet after 8 years, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

>>17698787
Because you deserve it

>>17698931
My ex was abusive and a cheater and I have a lot of trust and self esteem issues thanks to him. I'm worried that it's affecting my current relationship but I still feel weird about bringing it up.

>>17698944
If you feel like it's affecting you, then maybe you should talk with him and the subject is gonna pop up, its something you probably want to overcome as a couple and you'll be stronger after doing so.

>>17698944
Get over it.

And if you can't you are not ready for a new relationship.

It's not your boyfriends job to fix you. See a therapist

>>17698950
That's fucking stupid, if she's willing to get better and if it's affecting THEIR relationship then he might want to do what he can to help, on top that it would answer some possible questions he has if the relationship IS suffering.

While I agree that she probably should've worked on herself before being with someone and that it's not her boyfriends job, it's one of the many roadblocks that are expected on any long term relationship.

If it's actually hurting the relationship then it's affecting her current boyfriend and if that's the case, the sooner you explain the why to him the better or he's gonna let his mind run wild.

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>>17698959
So, if you agree with me that its not her boyfriends job to fix her, and that she probably should have worked it out before going in to a new relationship, what part of that post was stupid?

>>17698634
>how long did it take for you and your current SO to become official?

3 dates over about 6 or 7 weeks.

Did online dating, traded less than half a dozen messages before meeting.

I walked in with no expectations ( having done this dozens of times over the last couple years, I was pretty used to meeting total strangers,had I'd long since lost any sense of nerves, and knew how to work first meets)

By about 1/4 through the first I was intrigued, by about 3/4 through I knew this had potential and decided to take it slow.

Second date, before the start, I actually butterflies. Second date went even better than the first. Still slow.

Third date, it was like a mutual "fuck it" moment where we realized, "Eh, we like each other, let's just roll with it and dive head first in". Became official, took our foot off the breaks.

A couple weeks after, went on a thousand mile road trip(A friend invited me to drop by, my--as of three days ago--GF happened to be next to me, and without thinking, I just asked if she wanted to join. It was only like a couple days later I realized... "Oh yeah. that's kind of a serious thing huh?"). Although we were technically official on our 3rd date, that trip is probably what made us a real couple.

>>17698836
>Would any of you randomly switch seats in the middle of semester?

I was a super well dressed and confident looking kid back in college. I was even also usually one of the more vocal people who'd participate in discussions. Thing is, most of that was me compensating for the fact that I was shy as all fuck growing up and trying to build myself up and make myself believe I was something more (eventually it stuck, and I owned it, but it took a while).

Sounds like something I *might* have done back then before i'd built up my self-esteem? But at that level, if that's all I could bring myself to do, I'm not sure I would have done anything more.

Either way, only want to know is to act on your end.

>>17698868
>Would a month be enough to get in touch with someone and start dating?

I'm a dude but...

Literally all you need to do is say, "Hey, I'm <anon>. I've noticed you around. <blah blah blah>[...] You interested in grabbing a coffee?"

People do so much more with so much less time, in so many other situations with much less common ground to work with (bars, bookshops, grocery stores, <any real world encounter>, online dating, speed dating, etc.)

If you can't do this in a MONTH's worth of time, you're kind of dropping the ball pretty hard there.

Get on it. Every day you say, "ill do it next time" just makes it infinitely less likely that you ever will.

>girlfriend going to a rave without me
>this makes me feel extremely uncomfortable
>I can't tell her because I'll come off as controlling

what do i do

How off putting is it if someone only has solo hobbies? I just cant find a social hobby that i enjoy.

>>17699305
Solo hobbies are the best hobbies???
^^ ^^ ▶▶

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Self: Man seeking Woman
History: Suicide attempt left scars across chest

Inquiry:

Any suggestion on informing future partner on said scars? Truth too quickly has scared away the last two.

>>17698816
Hard to say without the real example. Can't you try to explain it in a way that makes it clear what you enjoy about it (that's not shallow)?

>>17699329
I'd just lie about their origin at first, clarify once you're actually close (for a real suicide attempt I'd say, until you've exchanged I love you's). You don't owe anyone stories about your past before you rightfully trust them.

This is presuming that you are no longer struggling with mental issues that are severe enough to have a big impact on the relationship. If that's the case, you don't really get around dropping the bomb early.

>>17699303
If you're in your 20s just accept that at that age it's nearly impossible to have a faithful, stable relationship. Don't be a cuck, if you're insecure break up.

>>17699303
"I don't really feel comfortable with you going to a rave without me"

>>17699303
The trick is to place the focus on your feelings about it. Not feeling great about her attending a wild party without you is human and understandable to anyone with some goodwill. Flat out telling her that you don't allow her to do this is an entirely different deal.

Basically, feel free to tell her it makes you uneasy and to discuss it with her and perhaps make some agreements (eg about the frequency of texting, if someone you know tagging along...), just don't act like your insecurity is her problem to solve or her fault when she is only planning to have a fun night so far.

>>17699329
I will assume you have your mental issues under control.

I am dating someone with history of mental issues and suicide attempts which left scars.
It is scary as fuck. But what calmed me, and the reason why I didn't leave the second I saw them, is because of how calm and comfortable he was about it. He explained me what happened, explained me how it is under control now, and made me feel secure. He wasn't ashamed of the scars, and he was relatively relaxed about his mental illnesses past, and I didn't feel scared because he wasn't scared of it and he felt like I could deal with it.
This level of trust he had in me made me feel like I owed him respect and trust.
It happened after 4 days we knew each other, before we even kissed the first time.

>>17699352
Thank you, very helpful.

>>17699360
No worries, anon.
It is a bit scary but everyone has some baggage and going in a relationship thinking that your partner is flawless is a bit retarded. You're just unlucky because you have to expose it early on.
Are things under control now? Are you doing well?

>>17699329
>>17699343
Don't lie. Just say its something personal and that you aren't willing to discuss it with them yet. Then you seem mysterious and badass with hardcore scars you can't talk about with her yet because she has to earn your trust to get that information. Makes her want to get closer to you so she can get inside you

>>17699370
Would normally approve of this suggestion but given the placement I strongly doubt that an "it's personal" would allude to anything other than a suicide attempt.

Hot guy with a 4 inch dick, or average guy with a nice sized dick. Which one would you pick

>>17699365
I'm still on this website. That's not a good sign.
>>17699373
This.

Guys

Men are attracted to femininity. But what is femininity? And Can I still be feminine if I have a deep voice?

>>17698816
Depends on your hobby. If it's something worthwhile that adds experience and meaning to your character like being really into volunteer work or something like that then add it. If your hobby is collecting stamps or something like that then leave it off.

>>17699375
The one that I liked better personality wise and had the most chemistry with.

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>>17698633
Guys

Why do (from what I've seen/heard on 4chan) always want an ""interesting"" girlfriend but label every girl as vapid, shallow or bland? Eg. If a girl likes baking and cooking, she's a doormat; she's into careers she's a bitch and overly dominating etc.

And this also applies to people who constantly talk about "why should I get a 3DPD when 2D is superior" and it makes me very confused because these are the same people who bring up stats about how inferior women are and degrade them based on stereotypes while whining about how 2D will never be real etc.

>>17699385
yep there are some deep voice husky women that are still hyper feminine.

>>17699385
I'm personally attracted to girls I connect with and I can look past a lot.
If I love someone usually their flaws become adorable to me.

A deep voice is nothing. I couldn't care less.
If you're cute then I realllly couldn't care less.

Cute as in smooth moisturised skin, feminine long hair, big bold eyes, small figure and height, small beasts (big are okay but I kinda like slim girls personally.

Just be yourself, as long as you're not fat you'll be okay lel

>>17699385
Not a man but I figured, why not, as you hadn't had replies yet. From my experience the details are unimportant. There are many things that are extremely ladylike and attractive to many men (like intricate make up, lots of dresses/skirts, painted nails, high voices, small posture, never cursing) and annoyingly girly-girly or otherwise not that attractive to others. When it comes to appearance it is simply a matter of taste what you find feminine (especially how you see classic femininity).

But I feel that what men mostly mean when they say this, is a woman who can make them feel cherished and looked after. Someone who is nurturing and makes them feel loved and respected for who they are, who can make their place feel like home (not necessarily because of the interior styling). Someone who is kind and seems like she would make a great mother some day.

And personally I see outward femininity as a certain kind of dignity and joy in your own person. Knowing how to dress in a way that flatters you and suits you without trying to be someone you're not. Having good posture, being expressive and lively. Being more on the soft spoken side, not being brash and one to want to be in the spotlight 24/7... but once again, that's just my reading and I think not the most important thing men think of when they use that word.

For what it's worth!

>>17698634
About a week, I think. We were ridiculously compatible and I told him how much I liked him within a couple days of meeting. We've moved really fast and it's just been a wonderful rollercoaster.

Girls, would you date a guy who calls his cat Mylittleprincess? Would you feel jellyness of her?

>>17699385
http://www.wikihow.com/Behave-as-a-Princess

>>17699405
I'm not of those guys, so I don't know.

Guys

What makes a girl a good girlfriend or "wife material"?

>>17699415
Being affectionate to animals is only a turn off in two instances;
>prolonged cooing in baby voices
>being significantly more warm towards your pet than you've ever been towards me

>>17699415
>Girls, would you date a guy who calls his cat Mylittleprincess? Would you feel jellyness of her?
I wouldn't be jealous of a cat, but there is no way I'd be with a guy who treats his cat better than me.

>>17699405
They mean someone who just likes them. We are not an optimistic group of people here and are able to find flaws wherever we look.
>>17699385
Guys can still be masculine without deep voices, you can b e feminine with one. Voice's don't have much to with being feminine, but a feminine voice is always sexy in a woman.

>>17699417
three magic words

>>17699426
Let me guess - "I like anal".

>>17699433
no just three magic words.

they can anything from "suck my dick" to "i love you".

>>17699419
>>17699422
But she has been with me for 15 years! She is the cutest and fluffiest.

>>17699417
>>17699426
Princess, whore and slut.
(Serious answer) see wikihow link.

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>>17698967
Your tone and assumption that it was her opinion that it's bf's job to fix her. Your tone in general is shitty and combative. She wants to communicate and you're throwing this sanctimonious slop at her.

>>17699303
>>17699350
This. Just communicate and don't be controlling. She will appreciate it. Remind her you love her and don't want to fuck things up and want her to have fun, but you have this feeling and that if you didn't express it to her, you're afraid it would rot inside you.

>>17699405
Dismissal is a way they protect their fragile egos. It's the pot calling the kettle black.

>>17699405
I guess it's a fear of being judged because deep inside they know they have issues and that is why they prefer 2D as a fictional character cannot harm their fragile psyche, i would personally love to meet a girl that likes baking and cooking.

>>17699405
4chan isn't one coherent person. They all are just extremely picky and deeply desire a girl who will love them unconditionally, make them popular, fix all their issues, etc etc. Its just extremely unrealistic expectations, partly serious partly not.

>>17699405
It's because 2D aren't real people and so autists can project their idea of an ideal woman onto them.

It's because they can't stand the idea that someone other than themselves matters in this world and therefore hate making compromises (Like a woman with a career can't always mother you or the fact that you've probably been attracted to more than one person) or the concept of "give and take", wanting love to be unconditional and shit.

>>17698990
>implying a girl would go get coffee with a complete stranger; much less a male stranger

>>17699401
hahaha

Girls:

>>17699515

I fear that she may not find me as attractive when sober. Or that she's not just interested at all.

Girls

Why do you sometimes make us feel intimidated? This girl I'm talking to, she's awesome. Just, we both like the same things. But she knows SO MUCH more about those things than I do. Which isn't bad, but I just feel a bit intimidated because I'm such a newbie

>>17699540
Because you're an insecure fag, I guess.

>>17699522
You dun goofed. If a girl is offering you sex and you say no then she's instantly going to think it's something wrong with her.

Doesn't matter that you're being sensible, girls perception is that guys are DTF no matter what and the only reason they wouldn't be is because the girl is really gross.

>>17699543
Can I save this? How do I appear if I contact her? Because I'm pretty sure she's not going to contact me first.

>>17699540
This doesn't have anything to do with her behavior or with men/women. You are intimidated because someone is your superior within your own field of interest. Either disengage if you can't deal with that situation, or swallow your pride and allow her to push you further and inspire you.

>>17699540
It's not her fault that you're less knowledgeable is it?
Besides, why do you need to be smarter than her? Get over yourself, so srsly.

How do I convince my boyfriend to get a vasectomy? I don't want to get pregnant right now and I HATE the smell of condoms. I can't take birth control because of other medication I take. And I don't want to get my tubes tied because I might want kids in the future and it's much easier to reverse the procedure for men (assuming I'm still with him). So yeah, vasectomy is really the best option, but he seems reluctant. Any ideas?

>>17699540
It's in your head, only exposure will make it feel better over time.

>>17699550
Use copper IUD or flavoured condoms.
It's unfair to ask him to do a procedure this intrusive, especially if you have to convince him.

>>17699550
Yeah, let him do what he wants with his genitals, if you dont like it leave him so he can get a women instead of a big baby like you.

>>17699547
Dunno, but do it in person. Doing it online will make it seem insincere and that you're keeping your distance.

>>17699550
Troll. No way could someone be that selfish.

>>17699558
Fuck... thanks. Should I still add her on fb? I probably should have done that the night after. Fuck...

>>17699550
It is completely absurd to try to convince your boyfriend to get a vasectomy because you don't like how condoms smell. Just get some scented condoms or something and suck it up

>>17699558
And how will I confront her in person? She's constantly surrounded by her friends. Do I pull her aside and then what?
I'm completely lost, sorry.

>>17699564
I'd hold off until you explain yourself in person. Not because it's a bad sign, but it's a better sign to add her on facebook afterwards because it sort of backs up what you say. Just better timing you know?

>>17699570
I kind of knew all this, but was still hoping for a different answer. I fear she just slips away and this all ends very awkwardly. Thanks, anyway.

>>17699564
Dude. Chill. Not all girls are irrational insecure twits. She wanted to fuck you once, she'll probably want to again. Go ahead and add her. There's nothing wrong with messaging someone online. Just tell her that you enjoyed seeing her that time and that you'd like to see her again.

>>17699569
You're just going to have to brave it out desu, It'll only take a couple minutes.

>>17699580
What? Nah, man that sounds like a total brush off.

>>17699578
Also here's another way to look at it.
If you find and message her online, that shows that you've been thinking about her and made the effort to go out of your way to contact her

Particularly if she's active on Facebook, that's a great way to get a hold of her.

>>17699589
Like a brush off? How? Saying that you want to meet again? Specifically finding her to tell her that?

He could apologize for being too drunk to stay later if he wants to bring that up too.

>>17699593
Adding her on facebook and not bringing it up but just saying "it was nice, let's do it again" is a complete brush off. It seems like you want to avoid what actually happened because you're embarrassed but at least guilty to check up on her.

>>17699605
At least feeling guilty enough to check up on her.*

>>17699605
>>17699610
Personally I would not interpret it like that if a guy said this to me. But even if she did, it would immediately be reevaluated when they actually set up a time to see each other.

He can throw in some line like, let's pick up where we left off

>>17699405
>it's another "why can't everyone agree on one opinion on everything" episode

Thanks guys.
Here's what I'm gonna do:

>add her on fb
>say 'Hi!'
>she says 'Hi!'
>say 'Do you want to pick up where we left off?'
>???
>benis in bagina

That, or she rejects me. Solid plan?

>>17699617
Yeah but that's thinking about the situation as a third person. If a guy was DTF but suddenly changes his mind and says *he's* too drunk you'd totally think it was bullshit and get insecure. Anyone would. Feeling insecure invariably leads people to overthink stuff and doubt themselves.

>>17699631
>benis in bajina
Forget it, it was doomed from the beginning kek

Srsly though, go for it. Though I think saying it that quickly makes it sounds like you got scared on the night and had to retreat to facebook to get sexual with her.

>>17699649
Is there a more sophisticated way of checking what's going on between us?

gf never initiates sex.In what ways would you ladies like me to approach the situation if that was you?

>>17699654
Just explain to her in person. She'll tell you how she feels.

>>17699660
My bf just straight up said "Hey, I noticed I'm usually the one who initiates things. What's up?" and it was fine. I started to initiate more and everything has been fine since. It shouldn't become an issue where you'd have to feel like you need to walk on eggshells. If it is, then there are some other issues that need to be fixed.

A girl I like texted me if I'm busy during a specific day.

What does that mean, and how should I respond?

>>17699682
Means she wants to do something with you on that day. Do you have plans? If not, then say no.

>>17699682
"Well I [family thing], but otherwise no not really. I'm free after [time]."

She wants to hang out, dude. Probably just as friends but make something of it, get luckier than I ever will

>>17699660
>gf never initiates sex.
wish mine were like this, which would mean I can spend more time doing math, and it's impossible to turn her down, too.

>>17699697
I kind of am, but I could actually make time on that day.

>>17699703
>She wants to hang out, dude. Probably just as friends but make something of it, get luckier than I ever will
Make something of it? I'm not sure I follow. (Sorry, English is my second language)

Girls

Say you've recently started dating this guy that you really like. One night you're both making out at home and you're getting pretty into it and you start rubbing his dick through his pants and he says to you "you make me so horny that I don't think I can't hold it" or something similar to that. Would that be a turn off?

It's a hypothetical scenario. But I'm asking because this girl I just started dating.. well, she gets me really fucking horny. Just hearing her voice does it to me. We haven't had sex yet. But I don't think I'm going to be able to hold it the day she first touches my dick. Like, fuck. I'm probably going to cum so fast. I am just a bit worried about that. I hope it doesn't disappoint her

>>17699735
Make something out of it, start building the road to something more than friends.

>>17699758
How do I know if they're asking me as a friend or not?

How can I keep the fact that I spend the majority of my time funposting on our Cantonese cave drawing forum from this girl i'm like super close to getting with? Shes a little prude and I need her to not find out like super immediately.

>>17699782
Ahahaha, this is I look for girls who do the same.
They just wouldn't understand otherwise.

Just tell her, you can't hide your inner neck bears forever. Soon it will grow and blossom like a flower in a field.

>>17699782
>Delete history
>Only use 4chan in incognito mode
>Get into the habit of either locking your computer or closing the tabs when you go afk
Done.

Girls
If you wanted to show genuine affection over a text how would you?

How can I tell whats flirting, genuine affection or just being cute but with no real emotion behind it?

>>17699417
Lasting affection and loyalty

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>>17699417
She looks like pic

>>17699417
We connect on am emotional level
We can communicate with each other
I can say anything to her
I can hold her whenever I like
We cuddle for warmth
She is feminine
She has a doggo
She has long hair
She wears baggy fitting sweaters and jumpers which cover her hands
When we kiss there is a web of saliva between our lips
She holds me tight to her body
She tells me she loves me always

And most importantly...
She has to be real

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>text girl about thing we spoke about the other day
>she follows up
>asks me "how are you"
>mind goes blank, have nothing to say about myself at all other than "The usual, work and stuff"
>"how are you" has been sitting there for the past hour

What was I thinking, I don't even like small talk via text.

>>17699660
Lighthearted, tell her you'd find it hot if she jumped you, then follow up with positive encouragement when she does.

This could be anything from being shy about initiating to finding it a turn off to "have to" initiate, so no point in trying to analyze that now.

>>17699745
That's crazy hot, but only if you're already fully comfortable. Now I can't imagine fondling a guy's dick if I'm not, but some girls are more quick than others to leave their comfort zone to do what they think is right/normal than I am... I'd say, if she looks relaxed and you can tell she's aroused (making noise, saying dirty stuff herself, heavy breathing, flushed face), do it.

>>17699882
Tfw no gf
What does milky salt coins feel like

>>17699812
No way to say for sure. Some people are masters at faking and even disregarding that, text is a shit medium for conveying tone and sincerity.

But to give you a global idea of what it would look like... flirting is teasing, banter, sexual innuendos that are obviously not to be taken 100% seriously, acting coy or cute about herself.
Genuine affection would be noticing when you act differently, asking questions that show they're listening, little "I was thinking about you"/"I miss you"/"I had fun seeing you"/"good night" texts, observing positive qualities of yours in a non-flirty way...
And being cute can be hard to decipher from flirting because some girls flirt to be cute, but think stuff that is sort of parodying/celebrating themselves and their own persona without connecting with you. Aka flirting is playfully acting arrogant over having a good body and adding that you're not too bad yourself, being cute is only ever doing the whole "I have a cute butt day today" without involving you in any way other than an audience.

Hope this gives you a general idea, it's hard because it comes in so many forms and is so subtle. Look for patterns. Affection + sincere attention and priority in their life, for example.

>>17699893
Outside: soft, if it's dry I'd compare it to the softness of earlobes. If wet it can get sloppy, especially if she has average or above average inner lips (aka not tiny ones), then the feeling is kind of like the inside of your mouth in terms of softness and slickness.
Inside: fleshy, wet and ribbed like the inside of your mouth, only tighter. If you blow your cheeks full of air then insert a finger and touch the inside of your cheek that's fairly close, only lacks the texture.

>>17699898
Yeah that does help. My texts fall under the genuine affection category but I don't think hers does.
Little upset but like you said, texting is a trash medium.

Thanks!

>>17699910
No problem! Not to decrease your mood, but sometimes girls use more flirty texts to kind of artificially try to lighten the mood if they feel the guy is being too romantically inclined towards them. That could also be what you're seeing.

>>17699907
What's the texture like? I just molested my earlobes and cheeks and got a good idea.

>>17699913
Ribbed like the roof of your mouth. Only apparently it differs from girl to girl how ribbed and in which patterns, which I have not personally been able to verify yet.

>>17699907
>>17699920
Don't tell me you put your dick into your mouth to describe this...

>>17699912
I'm purposely never romantic, but I try hard to be empathetic and listen and respond to everything she says. Instead of just acknowledging it and moving on, I try and expand on it to show I'm listening.

But she almost never asks me questions. She has said she enjoys talking to me and does sometimes add hearts and x's and stuff like that but I don't know how genuine it is.

I could be looking at it with a negative perspective, she's sent something like 2000 messages so she can't be too disinterested.

My biggest worry is that she's talking to me out of pity. I'd rather we not talk at all than have her "put up with me"

Weird feelings. First time texting a girl and first time texting somebody to converse. So I'm inexperienced :c

>>17699925
Nah, I have my own pussy so no need to replicate it.

As a fun fact, you probably technically know it already but penises also feel very funny/special to girls at first. There isn't really a bodypart that offers exactly the same sensation.

>>17699920
Wtf I want a gf now

>>17699931
I hate to break it to you man but I think she does enjoy talking to you, but more because you're offering her a very good and comfortable social experience than because she is intrigued by you or your dynamic.

If a girl is really interested in you, she'll ask you questions and there will be a mutual aspect in the friendship. Not necessarily mutual in that you keep track of favors but y'know, the sense that you'd both go out of your way to help or support each other. It sounds to me like she thinks you're enjoyable to talk to also largely because you only give and do not ask anything from her. Someone who sees no issue with that is at worst a selfish, sad person and at best a person too disinterested in others to question free attention.

Take the experience you get from it and use it on a nicer girl.

>>17699938
Thank you for this, it has been very insightful and has made me think of it in a different perspective.
It could well be my fault for trying not to be romantic. I was trying to show I am interested in her personality and herself as a person, but equally could be giving off the impression I'm not interested I'm guessing.

I recon you are right, but at the very least I'm appreciative she's probably not responding out of pity. It does often feel one sided, she doesn't often take initiative, not that she doesn't ever, however she does respond with long replies and not dead end one word answers.

Thanks again, opened up my eyes a fair bit

LADIES

>Girlfriend told me she had a thing with a guy (a year before we met)
>This guy lives 2 hours away
>she made it clear to him on the second date that there would be no sex
>She drives there
>he starts giving her a back massage with her shirt off
>it turns into her having her pants off
>he starts fingering her
>she then said that he started to put his dick into her with no condom
>she said that she stopped him there
>she got dressed and left
>she got tested for std's and is clean, unsure of herpes
>she thinks she's dirty now because of the possible STD
>I try and be supportive
>I assure her I don't think she's dirty, but she was upset that I wouldn't go down on her (Not that I won't but just the fact I said I don't think she's dirty but at the same time won't eat her out)

I really don't know what to think. I feel like calling her a retard for even letting it get to him fingering her.

But how the fuck would it be possible for him to get his pants off and stick his dick in her without her seeing it happening. I guess what i'm asking is what the fuck do i do?

This girls great, we moved in together but I feel kind of disgusted by her. i want to be supportive but I have no idea how you could be so stupid for letting it get that far. Especially driving two hours to go see some fucking guy she met on tinder.

>>17699951
Young, dumb and horny. If this was a year ago then just forget about it.
If this was while you were dating then leave her.

Sometimes you have to accept these things. Girls can get sex easy, and if they're in the mood they'll probably accept it.

>>17699951
... wait.
Did this happen while she was with you or before you even met?
If this happened before, why the fuck do you even know about it? Are you retarded?
If this happened while you were with her, why the fuck do you even date her?

>>17699957
>>17699960
It was before I even met her.

She only told me because she was super sad a month ago. So she told me what happened

>>17699950
No problem at all!
No. That's not an excuse. People who are not self absorbed and interested in their fellow human beings do not talk to anyone for prolonged time without reciprocating (with initiating, talking vs listening, friendly stuff).

Nah. You might say yes to a date out of pity, then pussy out. You're not going to pretend to be engaged in multiple conversations for weeks just because you feel sorry for someone. Hell, and if you do, then you are a hell of a far distance removed from allowing all those conversations to evolve around you.

>>17699951
Dude, you are calling her stupid but you believe that bullshit spiel? She went too far and she doesn't have the spine to own up to it. Everything else is just noise. Set her straight or better yet, start respecting yourself and ditch this dead weight. Everyone can fuck up but she couldn't even admit that she fucked up.

>>17699951
>LADIES
lol

>>17699968
>>17699966
Welp, sorry, I figured she met him a long time ago but this happened recently. Ignore other post.

In that case, chances are she realized it but didn't really dare to do much. Yeah it was still naive to put herself into the situation in the first place, but this is how those guys operate. They nibble on your boundaries inch by inch so that there isn't one dramatic obvious moment to reject them.

So you never go down on her? Or you just did not want to now? What was the deal with that?

>>17699966
Then who the fuck cares. She was horny, he was horny, she did a mistake.
She should take a STD test if she's so concerned.

Haven't you ever been horny and did something stupid? Because I can sure say that I did.
There's nothing to be supportive or concerned about, she went a bit too far with the wrong person.

How do I dirty talk over texts?

I'm meeting a girl tomorrow that I had sex with several times but I'd like to get her hot before we meet. What do I text her? Everything I come up with sounds corny and off putting.

Also, is there any reason a girl might love giving blowjobs but not like getting ate? I thought all girls loved that but she always repositions herself (or similar) when I got for it.

>>17699882

Ok that's good. She does like me a lot, I can tell. I was just worried that I'm going to cum REALLY quick. Hell, we've kissed before, and I could feel Pre in my underwear just from kissing her and seeing her smiling face afterward. I don't even know what's going to happen when she touches me Dick. I'm worried about cumming in my pants Tbh...

>>17699974
I'd leave her. She cheated.

>>17699979
BUILD UP. Don't jump at her with explicit shit. Work your way up to it. Start with complimenting her and moving on to what she does to you. Memories you can't get out of your head, how hot she looked doing x or y. Once you can tell she's soaked, you can go all out. Tell her you had a hard time keeping it in your pants with the memories of the last night you spent together. Tell her how hard she makes you and make her beg for proof. Now's the time to throw out explicit sexual fantasies (in order of normalcy).
Corny and off putting means nothing. It's only corny and off putting if you're not in the mood yet... like those lovey dovey rituals. Everyone cringes when they see other people do it yet most people love being part of it.. because it's not the bare concept itself but charged with love (or, in this case, lust).

Sure. Most common would be insecurity about how she looks/tastes/smells, but there's also girls who just dislike it, they find the sensation too light/soft to enjoy or feel too awkward being "alone" lying there with someone between their legs. It's not common but it happens... not all men like blowjobs, either.

>>17699982
Doesn't matter. Keep in mind that the stereotypical turn off of the guy coming early a full picture is: the guy being awkward and embarrassed, all sexy energy being gone, him trying to brush it off and get back to the daily routine.. If you are adult enough to own that she makes you go insane, she'd be one rare woman to not be turned on by that. Plus it's not that weird for the first (few) time(s) especially. Just make sure she doesn't feel like sex abruptly ends, by going down on her afterwards, fingering her while talking dirty to her, encouraging her to masturbate while lying on you etc. Whatever as long as she does not feel like sex ended with your orgasm.

>>17699985
This (apparently, missed it myself first, too) happened before he met her.

What do women do in their spare time?

>>17700010
Other than the usual stuff like internet/movies/masturbating and social interaction it's individual. Among my friends jogging, reading and cooking rate highly.

>>17700022
Do women sit at their computer on 4chan telling people to kill themselves and argue for hours straight over definitions with strangers and then masturbate to furry porn lay back in their chair wondering where their life went so wrong?

>>17700027
pretty sure they do, I've seen it happened many times. You just need to find the right topic that triggers them.

Why do women wear make up? They realise they look like clowns right?

Men don't find 3inches of dyed insect dust attractive...

>>17700027
Some do. Most sit on social media, instagram, reddit etc and read new articles, blog posts, look up recipes and what not.

Virtually all women occasionally wonder what the fuck happened to their life.

>>17700040
Oh shit yeah I forgot Facebook and social media existed.

God I'm lonely

>>17700034
No, girls who are not good at applying make up/apply too much typically don't have a sharp enough eye to notice that they're not doing their looks any favors.

And it's customary, people are used to it. I personally don't wear make up and where I live that's not even that uncommon for girls my age, but I have been addressed by my boss before saying that I looked "unkempt" for not wearing make up. (I have clear skin and worked in a chocolate store so not like I was supposed to look sexy for customers.) It's just completely ingrained in society.

>>17700034
There's a difference between makeup and not knowing how to apply it you clown.

good make up is amazing

Not to mention what you think is 'no makeup" is likely just low, everyday makeup

>>17700034
plenty of men do though...

you are a beta cuck and should consider suicide...

>>17700043
You're not missing out on much. I mean, on the social stuff, yeah, but social media are shit. It's just a way for people to air their most annoying qualities (petty little hang ups, fishing for compliments etc).

Also gaming is a more and more common hobby also for young women.

>>17700031
Yep you were right
>>17700049
>>17700046
>>17700045

>>17700034
dude most women look like shit without makeup.
I'm talking even early 20s chicks..

>>17700052
I'm not a girl, I love makeup.

You have to be a child or a retard to think that good applied makeup makes you look like a clown

>>17700056
Swoosh

>>17700045
Tbh your boss is a cunt

>>17700068
He actually is a cunt, which is also why I've quit, but this isn't a particularly weird expectation for a woman in the service industry. It's just so uncommon for adult women to go without make up in professional life that it apparently looks sloppy to some people, like you're half in pyjamas or something.

>>17700077
I personally couldn't care less if a woman wears make up and I would assume most men would agree they couldn't care either way(?)

But idk

>>17699998

Oh I'm definitely going to get her off, multiple times for sure. even if I cum my pants. I'm going to make her happy. The good thing is I really like fingering girls, it's easy for me to control and focus

>>17700096
In this case it's not really about a personal judgment but more about what it looks like for the business. For some people not wearing make up is skipping part of your grooming, like not cleaning out your nails.
I don't agree either, but standards change when something becomes very socially accepted.

I don't think most men particularly care, other than having a preference, for a woman they are crazy about.

I'm pretty sure she declined my friend request.
Maybe she's mad that I didn't attempt to contact her earlier? Or because I avoided the confrontation today?
I guess I'll forget about her.

t. >>17699522

There's this girl in my class, and we get along pretty well, I have a lot of fun talking to her, so I'd like to hang out with her outside of class. However, she has a boyfriend, and I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to come between them. What can I do (and yes, my interest in her is purely platonic)?

>>17700133
If the interest is platonic and you just want her as a friend, she should realize unless you gave some signs

My boyfriend of 4 months lied about his age to me (he's actually a lot younger than I am), then confessed and panicked because he thought I would leave him for it. We took a break, then I chose to stay with him regardless because I love him as a person.
His age would be a dealbreaker, normally, but I'm trying to ignore it. At the same time, I feel like not leaving him is just a stupid thing to do. Can any guys weigh in on this?

>>17700135
I'm worried that asking her to hang out would be taken as a sign of interest, though, since we don't have any friends in common that I know of.

>>17700136

Is age that important to you? You're being silly anon.

Your bf lied to you? Was he the first bf to lie to his gf? Or the last one? Big deal.

You are just looking for reasons to be mad at him. Real reason: he acted weak, this is why you are mad at him. Women have no love for weakness.

>>17700136
>His age would be a dealbreaker
????
why would this be a deal breaker?
unless hes like 15 years old and you're 25

>>17700136
I'm doing this and I hate myself. It's hard having romantic interests in somebody, connecting with somebody, but they have age preferences.

Only pretending to be a year older though.

Ladies:
I do not like children and have no desire to rear them at all. I haven't liked them for as long as I remember. As a twenty-six year old male, is this a dealbreaker?

>>17700169
Yes, because I want to have kids in the future.
Dumped a guy I've been with for 8 years over this.

>>17700203
No offense but that's a little extreme. Seems like you want children more than a life partner?

I really couldn't relate

>>17700217
No that's fucking stupid.

If you have life plans and your partner won't have the same life plans, then why spend your life with this guy?

Isn't it fucking obvious?

Guys

What does it mean if a dude looks at me, looks away, and looks back? Especially when it happens twice? I noticed it in my perf vision

>>17700203
Fair enough. It seems to be very hard to find women who do not want children.

>>17700217
I want to have a family with a life partner and kids and I definitely cannot stay with a person who doesn't want the same.
I'd be unsatisfied and eventually it would have ruined my relationship with him and I would have resented him for making me an unfulfilled person. If he decided to have kids with me to please me, he would have been a terrible parent and he would have resented me.
I don't think it's fair to give up on my wishes, dreams and aspirations (which include having kids) for a relationship, even if it is a good relationship.

>>17700226
He thinks you are hot and out of his league.

>>17700230
It's not fair. Like myself, I shouldn't do something I Don't want to do to please somebody.

>>17700237
Are you sure?

Please god say yes

>>17700226
Is he constantly doing it?
Like on the span of several days?

Are you looking back at him?

He probably likes you and he's either shy/trying to figure out if you like him back.
Give him signs if you like him or hell even try to start a conversation.
>>17700242
It's like 99% sure but he might be shy so he might not ask you anything.
If you catch him constantly looking at you then he's interested, again, try to spark up a conversation and get close to him
>>17700239
>It's not fair. Like myself, I shouldn't do something I Don't want to do to please somebody.

Which is precisely why she left him instead of trying to force it down on him?
Or worse, trying to poke holes on condoms or some shit?

You're just defending it because it affects you, why would you make your life with someone that doesn't shares one of your biggest life values and expectancies?

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>>17700242
That's what I do. Sadly.

>>17700243
I've noticed it every once in a while, I've only looked back twice. I've had a few short talks with him, he's cute. I've asked many questions here, involving a shy guy, and that shy guy is him

How weird/creepy would it actually be just outright asking a girl you have never really talked to before out?

>>17700247
Not at all?
Unless you look like a creep and approach like a creep.

If you're worried just talk to her a little.

>>17700245
Don't worry, I do that to guys

>>17700239
And that's why we broke up.
It would have been unfair for both of us to become miserable to stay together. Relationships should be the cherry of top on your life, not a landslide of shit you go through because "I LOVE THEM!!".
I don't hate him for not wanting kids, and I definitely care about him deeply. I'm still in great terms with him. Shit happens, I will miss him a lot.

>>17700246
Then ask him, be direct, ask him to go out.
Or make it painfully obvious you want him.

>>17700262
How do I make it super obvious? I've contemplating asking him out in the future but I wanna get to know him better

>>17700252
I mean the main reason I'm in this situation is because I'm shy and lack confidence anyways so.
Asking her out like this would probably sound nervous. Would that make it creepy?

>>17699305
Even if something is not a "social" hobby. Someone else probably has that hobby too and you can discuss it.

>>17700265
Small touches, ask him if he's single, telling him you like him or that he's cute/attractive/whatever, get close to him, initiate conversations and look happy that you're talking to him, etc

Just the most obvious shit but without flat out asking him.
Keep in mind he might actually not get these signs even if you do them because we're fucking stupid so you might have to ask him.


>>17700266
I mean everyone's always a bit nervous, as long as you don't spill your spaghetti in front of her you should be fine and the ball should be on her court.

For everyone, a question where I'd like the answer to be in the ELIA form aka Explain like I'm autistic.

How do relationships between people who know each other already usually start? Say someone tells you a girl likes you, you start sending messages, you meet for a coffee. Should it 'click' then and there and you do you immediately arrange next date? When do you kiss? When do you have first sex? How? Do you continue on from the date to someone's place?
What is the usual point of going official? Do you have sex beforehand?

>>17699305
Everything can be a social hobby if you actually make it so.

Videogames? Gather up with people and play in groups and shoot the shit while doing it.
Literature? Use books in common to bond with someone or just read it with someone.

>>17700274
Tbh even though I'm a girl, I don't know how to flirt, or if someone is flirting with me, so I get if those signals go over his head

>>17698633
do you actually want a partner or are you just afraid of being alone

What does it mean when a girl says "I have to process that"?

On Friday I told a girl that I like something and now it's hard to guess what might happen now.

>>17700287
She's a robot.

Seriously though, she's thinking about how she can best let you down

>>17700242
i am a male and i also do this

>>17700274
>I mean everyone's always a bit nervous, as long as you don't spill your spaghetti in front of her you should be fine and the ball should be on her court.

Just one more question then, how would you go about asking? Would you just flat out ask like "Hey want to do something sometime?"

Or should I be more like "Hey I think you are pretty,etc.

Probably doesn't matter that much, I just don't want to sound like an idiot. Only done this once and it was with someone I already knew from work.

For everyone

One year anniversary is coming up in two weeks. At this point of the relationship, I'm equally okay with being single or being with her. Should I stay, or should I go since my interest in the relationship is 50/50?

>>17700305
You're telling us that you don't give a shit if you're with her or not, the answer is pretty obvious anon.

>>17700292
What goes through your mind when you do that?

>>17700243
That's just what I said. I won't force somebody or myself do something that they don't want to do.

>>17700312
Not the same guy and not the out of my league part but I go
>damn that girl is really cute
>oh no she's turning around and might see me checking her out
>but damn I can't stop myself from looking at her she's really cute
>wonder if I should try to make a move, is she checking me out, does she wants me to talk to her?

>>17700325
That's really adorable, in all honesty

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>>17700311
I used to give a shit. Now I'm just more into my college classes and my friends. I'm sorry Savannah

>>17700332
It usually goes to shit because I can't tell if she's into me, it's some sad stuff.

I wish I was better at picking up interest from a girl.

>>17698633
Men, can you really be 100% platonic friends with a woman without having any ulterior motives, sexual or romantic?
The man I'm on shaky grounds with thinks all men want from me is sex and that a genuine friendship is rare if not impossible.

>>17700347
I can never tell if a guy is into me

>>17700348

I have friends that happen to be women. They are all ugly or have some personality traits that turn me off.

>>17700348
Not a guy, but I have a guy friend and a girl friend who are completely platonic. Personally, I wouldn't date someone who didn't believe that was possible.

>>17700352
I've heard it's really obvious if you know what to check, because we have like 3 or 4 OBVIOUS tells even if you're shy.
Looking at you constantly, looking a bit nervous, trying to get close to you.

Seems harder to know if a girl is into you because they have like 20 fucking tells and they can be really subtle.

>>17700355
See, I'm not ugly.
So you cannot be COMPLETELY platonic friends with a girl and not want to fuck/date her if she's attractive/has a decent personality?

>>17700357
>not a guy
Yeah, I didn't ask you.
Not trying to be rude, but your guy friend could want to fuck you and you wouldn't even know.

>>17700366
>Not trying to be rude, but your guy friend could want to fuck you and you wouldn't even know.
Sweetie, I wasn't talking about my friendship with him. I know he wants to fuck me. I was talking about his friendship with my female friend.

>>17700348
You can have a friendship but out of pure human instinct, if you're attractive to the man you're friends with, there's always gonna be some attraction and some desires to fuck, it's hardwired into our brains but actually acting on it and be some kind of beta orbiter is completely different, you can have friends that you'd fuck without acting on it..

With time and if you get closer as friends, it's could go down and you don't even realize how hot or cute she is anymore and you see her as a friend.

>>17700362
I can't always tell if it's accidental or purposeful, rip

>>17700291
Her reaction wasn't bad tho, we both laugh about it

>>17700366
>I'm not ugly
To some people you're not, to some people you are. Platonic friendship is possible with the latter group.

>>17700373
Ok. So basically he doesn't want me being friends with men because all men want to fuck me in his mind.
My boyfriend and I haven't talked for a few days because things are shaky and a lot is going on.
I'm friends with my ex-boyfriend, and my boyfriend asked me "So have you had camsex with him yet?"
Is this crazy talk? Is my bf just paranoid?

>>17700407
So a friendship isn't possible with guys who don't think I'm ugly?

>>17700412
>I'm friends with my ex-boyfriend
Yeah, that's not okay, and you'd have to be an idiot to think that was. Your boyfriend is in the right here.

Good job leaving that key piece of information out, by the way.

>>17700412
You really shouldn't be friends with your ex and he's way out of line talking about camsex with you. If I were your boyfriend and I found out I'd dump you instantly. You just don't respect him when you do something like this.

>>17700416
No no no. He also thinks other various men I'm friends with (WHO ARE NOT EX BOYFRIENDS) just want to fuck me.
My ex and I both acknowledge we don't want anything romantic and a relationship between us will never, ever work. My ex also is dating a girl who's perfect for him and doesn't care that we're friends.

>>17700412
>So a friendship isn't possible with guys who don't think I'm ugly?
How about average? I think most women fall into this category. I mean she's not ugly but rather meh, and for sexual things to happen I'd have to be really horny and she has to really beg for it. Yes, friendship is possible.

>>17700427
Doesn't matter, the fact that you're friends with an ex is enough to raise red flags.

>>17700425
>If I were your boyfriend and I found out I'd dump you instantly.
>You just don't respect him when you do something like this.
What the fuck? I haven't had camsex with my ex.
We're just friends and broke up a long time ago.
How am I not respectful to him?

>>17700431
How does it raise red flags? Because I've known him for a very long time and he's a very close friend.
Let me also add:

My boyfriend has admitted he wants no responsibility to my emotional state.
So if I'm upset, I should not expect any support or advice or consoling from him.
I'm not going to fuck my ex (I'm not even physically attracted to him), but he is a good shoulder to lean on because he's my friend

>>17700348
I'm not a guy but wanted to weigh in from the other side given the whole "can men only be friends with women they find ugly". I have several male friends that sure, I find attractive and would have sex with based on looks/overall superficial chemistry. Doesn't mean I ever would. I have known them for years and the idea is just too awkward. What if something happens that instantly turns you off and makes it from something sexy into something uncomfortable and weird, how does your friendship move on from that? What feelings will it awaken to suddenly be all close and do stuff 10x more intimate than you ever had despite knowing each other for a long time? And if someone runs their mouth, all your mutual friends know that you fucked each other and that's just entirely weird, especially if you usually don't have remotely romantic chemistry going on and it's just a drunk moment or something. Not even slightly worth all the risks.

Before people want to start bashing me for being friends with guys I find attractive, I also would bed most of my female friends. I don't pick them based on that they just grow on me over time and liking them more and more as people.

>>17700436
>My boyfriend has admitted he wants no responsibility to my emotional state.
Your relationship has bigger problems than 'my boyfriend doesn't think girls and guys can be friends'

>>17700169
I don't want kids either so that works for me. More and more adults are sticking childfree. It's not that uncommon anymore.

Of course if someone wants children, they're probably not gonna want to be life partners with you.

>>17700447
answer my questions pls

Basically my boyfriend wants me to remain monogamous, but wants us to not have a serious relationship atm and me to have no male friends.
how am I the bad one here

>>17700443
I feel the same as you and what you're saying makes sense to me, but again, this is women logic apparently.

>>17700459
>how am I the bad one here
No one said you're the bad one. I'm just saying you're an idiot for staying in this relationship.

Girl from class, she's not beautiful in a 10/10 kind of way, but she's really cute and actually pretty hot, and also really talkative and we get together well, all those in combination made me like her.

However, she feels like damaged goods, in a slutty, daddy-issues, ex-boyfriend issues, kind of way.

I keep going from falling for her to thinking 'wtf is your problem?' and wondering how long I can go on like this.

I also have some pretty bad insecurities from past relationships and I don't think I could handle thinking where she is and what she's doing.

What should I do?

>>17700463
People above me told me I deserve no respect and raise red flags though. So that makes me the bad one lol.

>>17700459
For what it's worth, I am pretty sure that some of my friends feel the same way. I know they don't find me unattractive but they've never made a move on me either in eight years, not when drunk/high not ever. But that's obviously just an anecdote... hard to get a clearer picture of.

Ah well, I find it quite practical though in other cases... being able to learn to see someone's appeal.

>>17700468
You do raise red flags. First because you're friends with an ex, and now because you seem to be thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.

>>17700473
How is being friends with an ex a bad thing if the relationship didn't work, will never work, but I can still remain good friends with the person?

>>17700464
Yeah sounds like it's best to let someone else try to deal with that, no offense intended.

>>17700477
As a guy that was friends with an ex after 3 years, it's taxing and there's always some feelings.
You will rarely, ever, EVER just go from relationship to regular friends like that.

>>17700485
Ok, but I have 0 feelings for him and he's told me he has 0 for me.
We have both expressed that we'll never be together and pursuing a relationship is literally pointless.
We weren't even dating that long, just for 6 months.

>>17700485
Also, should boyfriend and I break up?
Things are pretty fucky with him wanting me to stay monogamous to him for like a year until we can properly have a relationship and he can be "emotionally available".

>>17700497
Also, the issue isn't with being monogamous. The issue is he wants me to be ok with a relationship where I need to expect 0 emotional support from him.
And he doesn't want me receiving emotional support from male friends.

>>17700493
So did we, but we did dated for 2 years.

With time we realized we still had feelings and they messed up relationships, just because he said he doesn't or just because you don't feel them doesn't means they're not there.

You were together and broke up but still like each other enough to keep talking, and you had feelings once so it might happen again and the weirdest thing might set it off and make it click.

It's walking on a mine field.

>>17700497
>>17700504
being monogamous should be a given on 99% of relationships, but if he doesn't wants to get serious with you and he won't be emotionally there for you then he doesn't wants to be a boyfriend and might be just playing around.

>>17700226
Indecision maybe

>>17700348
>Men, can you really be 100% platonic friends with a woman without having any ulterior motives, sexual or romantic?

Definitely. Buy it requires both parties to have a specific mentality and maturity, and that's not exactly the status quo for most (so in a large number of cases, no)

For example, one of my favorite people in the world is a female friend. Ive known her for half a decade and I absolutely adore her because she's just awesome and sweet. I always want to be there for her and enjoy the heck out of the time we get to spend together.

She's attractive, were epic flirty with one another, we enjoy each others company, but the likelihood of me sleeping with her (if we were both single)... While I wont say that the drunken thought has never passed my mind and that that chance is absolutely zero (because neither of us is exactly prudish or squeemish about things like casual sex) the chances are definitely pretty damn low (zero in relationships). As a whole I think of her as a little sister kind of way and just don't at all think of her romantically.

But for a lot of people, that 0.1% chance something might happen drives them crazy and makes them a bit insecure because they either can't see themselves with enough self control to say no under that scenario, or they don't yet trust their partner to do so

I'm also going to say... You're hitting a VERY grey area when it comes to Exs. The lines can get SUPER blurry if you're doing things like confiding in each other and offering one another emotional support because that fosters a codependency and leads to emotional backsliding.

And its not at all fair to your current SO if you're effectively having someone else in your life taking their role. In fact for many, it's flat out known as emotionally cheating

Ex can be friends, but you pretty much need to restart the from nothing and make sure those lines are VERY clear.

I have a small penis and it makes me want to kill myself sometimes. Its manifested into this terrible insecurity where I'm constantly thinking about it and dreaming about it. I think as a way to cope, I've developed this small penis humiliation fetish, which is actually pretty great in some ways.

BUT i would like to be able to please a woman with my penis, and not secretly be a joke.

>>17700532
How big? I have a big penis but I'm an autist so I'll never get to use it.

Count yourself lucky that way

Guys and girls, where do you tend to meet your romantic interests that is not at a bar?

>>17700275
>How do relationships between people who know each other already usually start?
One of them asks the other out on a date. Sometimes, particularly if they have been friends for a while, this includes a confession of liking the other. This is usually because there needs to be a specification that this isn't a normal hang out.
Note: if the pair doesn't know each other well, the asking out is usually enough. Gushing over the other would be considered overkill. You don't know them well enough to say those things.

>Say someone tells you a girl likes you, you start sending messages, you meet for a coffee. Should it 'click' then and there and you do you immediately arrange next date?
Sometimes you click right away, sometimes it takes a bit. Confirming that you want a second date is expected at the end of the first date. If you don't want another date, you could text them later to say you aren't feeling it.
The specifics of when the second date do not need to be planned out yet. It's expected to have a plan within a couple days, max a week unless there is a reason you don't know your availability yet.

When do you kiss?
This depends on the individual and how quickly you're connecting. My current boyfriend I didn't formally date, but we kissed after spending 4 days together and knew each other for a week. I consider that very fast for my standards. I've gone on 4 dates without ever kissing. On a first date I had a girl who could tell that I was nervous about kissing (when our faces got close I angled away my lips from hers and I looked down a lot), and she kissed me on the forehead. I thought that was adorable and considerate.
I had another date kiss me on date 2 or 3 when he walked me back to my car.

>>17700550
While volunteering.

>>17700550
On 4chan

no joke

>>17700275
>>17700553

>When do you have first sex?
My current boyfriend I had sex with I think two days after kissing for the first time, so after 6 days of time together and the second weekend after meeting. I consider that super fast.
My previous boyfriend I had been dating for 3-5 months and after knowing him for 5-7 months. I consider that fairly normal, maybe a little long. But fine, particularly because I was a virgin.


>How? Do you continue on from the date to someone's place?
My current boyfriend was when we were hanging out at his place. I had already been there a couple times prior. Again, no formal courting.
My last boyfriend was also while hanging at his place.

I did have a date once where he invited me over afterwards to his apartment. We were discussing a weird soda during the date and he used that as a segue to invite me over to try it. We ended up chatting and looking at things on the internet and didn't have sex. But that would have been an opportunity to go further.
He didn't because I was giving him cues of distance. When sitting next to him on the couch, he scooted closer so our thighs touched. I scooted away.

>>17700275
>>17700558


>What is the usual point of going official?
Point as in reason, or point as in timing?
If you mean reason, it's having the "what are we" conversation. It means that you are exclusive, that you both acknowledge this relationship getting more serious, that you both admit that you really like the other, that you're committing to each other, that you're calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend instead of a date. It's basically getting passed the "who is this person and do I give a crap/will they murder me" stage and saying "oh I like this person and want to be a couple"

If you mean timing, then I'd expect the conversation around date 4-8 of formal dating.
Both my relationships were a little belated. The conversation was more, "I've been calling you my boyfriend, is that okay?"

>Do you have sex beforehand?
Current boyfriend was before the conversation and my last boyfriend was much after.
If it's not a one night stand, I personally consider having sex to be an indicator of commitment.

Hope this helps. Sorry for walls of text.

>>17700555
Guess i am lucky then since i was planning to volunteer in a few weeks, also nice trips.

>>17700556
Not sure if you are serious or not.

>>17700569
I gave a girl my number over 4chan :)))

>>17700550

Guy here.

I don't.

>>17700550
>Guys and girls, where do you tend to meet your romantic interests that is not at a bar?

Work occasionally (I've had a few girls drop me their personal number)
Library
Online dating (in a 1.5+ year relationship from it atm)
Pool hall/bar
Rock climbing
House parties

Really, long as you're somewhere where both genders are present and halfway decent social skills, it's not that complicated. If you don't though, work on them til you do.

>>17700538
bone pressed = 5.5" and 4.5" girth, but I swear to god it doesn't look like that at all, it looks so fucking tiny.

>>17700578
Mehhh dude, that's alright. Just don't lift or it will look real small.

I recommend you become skinny desu

>>17700577
Tried online dating and it was a shit experience for me, thanks for all the other suggestions.

>>17700578
That's the average

Maybe it looks tiny because you're overweight

I've been discussing this with a friend, and I was wondering what y'all think. Is a friendship still platonic if there's attraction/sexual tension, provided there's no intent to act on it?

>>17700601

No because eventually one side will make a move and change it to a relationship which either leads to dating or not seeing each other.

>>17699405
About this 2D vs 3D, they probably had bad experiences with 3D in the past or idealize a woman too much. Just like I always did.

More information

(I'm >>17700601)

I have a bit of a crush on a friend, but I don't have any intentions of trying to become more than friends, because I don't see it possibly working out. I say that the friendship is still platonic, whereas the guy says that because I'm attracted to her, the friendship isn't entirely platonic. Who would y'all agree with?

>>17700601
>>17700611
I'd say you're both right. It's platonic from her end, and not platonic from her's. From an outsider's perspective, it could go either way, depending on how you two interact. I disagree with >>17700606 when they say that one side will eventually make a move, there's no reason that has to happen.

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There's a girl I like quite a bit in one of my classes (we sit next to each other), and she seems to like me too, always talks to me, has a big smile on her face, laughs at my jokes, locks eyes, etc.

We've been talking for a little over a month now. I got her number after the first week and so we've texted a little too.

Now I'm sure I want to ask her out for coffee, but its a small class and her friends sit nearby. Everybody knows everybody pretty much.
I don't want her to feel pressured and say yes just because she doesn't want to embarrass me or herself in front of everyone, and I have no opportunity to get her alone.

So my questions are: Would you mind if a guy asked you out over text in this situation? I would probably send something like: "I'd rather ask this in person, but I can't seem to get you alone. Would you like to get coffee together this weekend?"

This is the first time I've done this, and surprisingly, I wouldn't be scared asking in person, I just don't want to put her in an embarrassing situation or pressure her into accepting.

>>17700601
>I've been discussing this with a friend, and I was wondering what y'all think. Is a friendship still platonic if there's attraction/sexual tension, provided there's no intent to act on it?

as this dude >>17700529

sure.

But you both have to be unique people or have unique circumstances or else that's playing with fire.

>>17700611
>I have a bit of a crush on a friend, but I don't have any intentions of trying to become more than friends, because I don't see it possibly working out.

In this case... I think you're operating with slightly subconsciously ulterior motives, but really...

You guys are both being pedantic as fuck.

Who the fuck cares about the label of it, what matters is how you act.

If you want to just stay friends, stay friends, but if you're interested, instead of speculation that it wont work, be straightforward and just ask her out and get PROOF that it won't, then go to being friends so you don't have that shit looming over you.

>>17700619
If you see her in person regularly, you should ask her out in person. Just say "hey, can I talk to you for a minute" and pull her aside

Girls

Say you've been talking to a guy online/text for a while. You like him. And you both decide it's time to meet and go on a first date. If he texted you and said that he was feeling really excited but also a bit nervous. Would that be bad? For this question, assume for how well you know him, you like him a lot.

>>17700619
Texting is fine. I prefer it, honestly, because I have more time to react and avoid knee jerk answers.

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How do I tell if a girl is crazy?
>go into work, see 7.5/10 qt temp cashier my age, wearing choker
>loses something and gives me her number when she leaves in case I find it during my shift
>text her, hit it off, chat a couple hours, make plans to grab coffee tuesday
Today
>texts me good morning and keeps asking for me
>wants me to meet her on her lunch break really badly
>called me 'boo'
This girl is really cute, but are these red flags for immaturity?

>>17700638
No, that wouldn't be bad at all, It'd be completely fine.

>>17700619
I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask someone out over text. I get coffee and write every sunday at a cafe. So if I want someone to join me I usually say something along the lines of

"hey, going to get coffee at x-cafe at 1, want to come with?"

I wouldn't say "I'd rather ask this in person..." or anything like that, just ask. If you'd truly rather ask in person then pull her aside after class.

>>17700578
that's really small kek better learn to use your fingers or a bull

>>17700652

Ok good. because I think if I just told her "I'm really excited to meet you, but feel a bit nervous <laughing emoji>" I think it'd help me relax knowing that she knows how I'm feeling.

I always feel better once I'm actually with them. But that space of time before we actually meet destroys me

what's the secret to happiness? both genders.

Why would a guy friend recommend me to buy a dildo? I said I'm fine and not looking to buy one and he just said ok and that he just thought the recommendation was good for a girl. Why would he bring that up? I felt so awkward.

>>17700666
There is no secret, unless you count 'don't be unhappy'

>>17700666
>666
i think u know

>>17700664
It's always better to communicate how you feel like that so she can put how you behave into context. You're doing the right thing.

>>17700668

Autism. Normal..hell even guys on here would never say something so stupid.

>>17700668
maybe it was his autistic way of trying to steer the convo in a sexual direction or try to lead into some flirting or some shit

unless you were telling him how sexually frustrated you are i can't imagine another reason

How do I approach attractive girls? I feel very intimidated by them.

Any ideas why a guy your dating would just NEVER text again.

We had like 4 good dates, always ended in very good sex. I asked him to text me when he wanted to meet up again, and it's now been 2 weeks?

He was definitely very into me. I don't want to text because I was initiating most of our dates (red flag?), and told him when we were last together to let me know when he was free.

If he was interested, he would've texted by now, yeah? It just seems so random and I really liked him...

>>17700702
Probably because he's expecting you to text first

>>17700702
He probably got sick of you, it happens quite often when you fuck and dump someone.

>>17700714
i told him to let me know, and he said ok?

>>17700719
just seems random for him to want to keep hanging out and then all of a sudden not reach out at all?

do you think i should text him? or cut my losses? we hang in the same circle of friends and i don't want to come off as clingy.

>>17700677

Thanks

girls, do you like guys' legs shaved?

>>17700751
No

Do girls like to partner dancing?

I want to kiss a girl so bad
I want to lick a girls face so bad
I want to lick every single surface of a girl so bad
I want to spoon a girl so bad
I want to cuddle a girl so bad
I want to bury my head between a girls neck and hair so bad

But there's only one girl I want and I can't bring myself to pursue any others.

I'm so on edgeeee

>>17700756
pls?

>>17700529
>And its not at all fair to your current SO if you're effectively having someone else in your life taking their role. In fact for many, it's flat out known as emotionally cheating
>emotionally cheating
>unfair
LOL, read other posts. my boyfriend doesn't want responsibility to give me emotional support. I'm not being unfair by wanting a friendship that gives me emotional support when my boyfriend has flat out told me he won't give it to me.

>>17700771
Why not go after a few dudes until things work out with your oneinitis

>>17700790
Its not being disloyal if I blow a dude?

>>17700517
>So did we, but we did dated for 2 years.
The reason I mentioned we dated for only 6 months is because we weren't THAT close where feelings of being in love will always be there.
I know for a fact I won't ever be romantically interested because I'm NOT attracted to him AT ALL.

>being monogamous should be a given on 99% of relationships
I brought up being monogamous because I thought maybe he wanted an open relationship when he wanted to take a step back and to not give me the emotional support I need.
You might be right about the playing around part. He doesn't want me seeing other guys, let alone being friends with other guys, but he doesn't want to be emotionally available.

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Women, what are your signs of being interested in a guy?
A guy that you haven't met but you would be perfectly fine with him asking you out.

>>17698645
living your dream, but not by choice
>>17698836
you're reading WAY to far into it
>>17699385
femininity is typically associated with gentleness, empathy, and sensitivity
yes
>>17699405
I say I want an "interesting" girl because I'm tired of meeting women whose interests are "work, the gym, netflix, and literally nothing else." descriptors like those make it next to impossible to even attempt to develop an attraction. I have no interest in going through a bunch of shitty dates to find a squat-buddy when I have male friends that can fill that role easily

>>17700786
>LOL, read other posts. my boyfriend doesn't want responsibility to give me emotional support.

Then get out of this relationship. It's obviously not giving you what you need.

This is going to sound hyperbolic, but you realize you're currently starting to head down the same mentality that a lot of guys use to end up cheating right?

>>17699417
passion, trust, and empathy
>>17699550
>I don't want to have an invasive surgery
>how do I convince my boyfriend to get an invasive surgery?
get an IUD or suck it up with the condoms
>>17700226
you're sitting under a clock and he's concerned with the time
>>17700348
yes, but that female is usually someone who I perceive as physically unattractive or has some significant personality flaw/quirk that makes them undateable/unfuckable in my eyes
(tl;dr: yes if I think I can do better than you)
>>17700550
school, online dating, mutual friends

Guys:

I've been trying to initiate a conversation with a more introverted guy through a messaging system since I talked to him a few days ago. He's really quiet and is talkative to me IRL but is short when replying to messages. Should I back off a bit and give him space, or continue to slowly exchange messages with him?

Pls help I'm trying to stop being a social retard.

>>17700876
I also know how clingy this post makes me sound. Trust me when I say I've been trying to take it slow, I'm just a bit excited since I am making progress on developing my social skills.

>>17700876
He's definitely not fantasizing about you. Can you talk to him more irl and less by messaging?

Girls

Imagine that you meet a guy that you might be interested in, but you eventually find that he really likes one of those 2D characters. What would you think/do?

Also, do you know any girl that is equivalent to those waifufags?

>>17700898
Dump. Fast as fuck.
Won't spend my relationship being compared to a 2D character. Having a crush on a fictional character shows some level of emotional inadequacy.

>>17700876
>>17700896
I dont know. I think a bout this one girl i've been seeing a bunch (read: to much) but I hate texting. My texts are always very utilitarian and just to set up meetings basically.

>>17700898
>What would you think/do?
"Oh my god, what a loser"
>Also, do you know any girl that is equivalent to those waifufags?
Not as adults, no.

>>17700896
Yeah, I've been trying to talk to him more since I've met him, and it works when we're next to each other face to face, but like I said, he's short with messages.

Also, I should clarify, I should have said severale weeks instead of days.

>>17700898
I mean, liking a character and thinking they're attractive?
That's fine most of the time

Actually falling in love and being almost obsessed with a character?
pretty fucked up

>>17700876
>>17700915
I concur. I am uncomfortable messaging because it lacks the emotional and performative contexts of regular conversation that give much needed clarifications to speech. So my messages are usually very infrequent and stilted because I don't know how to properly convey my meaning.

>>17700939
How often do you see him? are you in the same class?

>>17700940
Hmm, explain why do you think it's fucked up.

>>17700952
Two to three times a week, and we meet outside of school through a community center.

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Hey ladies,
how would you feel if a guy who sits next to you (in assigned seats) asked you out on a date and you said no? Would the rest of the semester be awkward as fuck? Would you avoid working with him on projects? Would you prefer he ask you out at the end of the semester?

>>17700953
Because if you're on a relationship with someone and they have to fucking share their love and compete with a fictional character, then it's not right and it's unfair.

Not to mention that actually LOVING, keyword loving, not being attracted towards a fictional character says a lot about yourself and how you view the world.

>>17701141
I think they wouldn't compete, I think the real person would eventually replace the fictional character with time. Comparing both IS unfair, so that's something that should be avoided.

>says a lot about yourself and how you view the world
That I have those autistic thoughts? Yeah, I know, but at least I wanted to find someone that can understand or even relate to those thoughts.

>>17701199
I mean everyone has those crushes, but from going to a crush to actually loving a fictional character speaks heavily of psychological problems, I think even if eventually you found someone that would replace this fictional character, those problems will still manifest in different ways specially in a relationship.

You can't fully love another person before you fully love yourself and accept yourself.

>>17701246
I'm not a professional, but is it really a psychological problem? I see so many guys with those thoughts here, a lot of medias tell stories about characters falling in love with fictional characters (even in the old mythology, see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_(mythology)).


Anyways, thanks for the talk. Your replies were a lot better than the other two. I might talk to an open-minded psychologist in the future.