I got a friend I've known for 7+ years now that just recently

Yes. This happened with the love of my life. I broke up with him a few weeks ago because I'm way happier than he is and I couldn't tolerate the toxicity anymore. It's okay to let people like this go. Before you do, buy him a copy of Feeling Good by David Burns. It could help him turn his life around if he reads it.

>>17697344
A book won't do shit

>>17697344
Shut the fuck up

>>17697336
For a friend of 7+ years, you should know the different between them going through a really tough time and them being permanently lost. Confront him. Tell him that he's been acting differently and you either want to help or know what's up.

>>17697344
He used to read but how he is now it looks like he can barely sit down and watch a movie. Short attention span I think. And of course he's unmotivated

>>17697358
It's the first time he's acted like this and it's bad. I know what it is. I understand him. But I haven't dealt with someone so close being so bad mentally before

>>17697354
A book can help people who are willing to help themselves; it did for me. This particular one was tested in clinical trials, and when compared to in-person therapy it was shown to be equally as effective in the short term and slightly more effective in the long term.

>>17697362
>>17697378
You could try to organize a casual 'intervention' with your friends- not the kind with the yelling and accusations- but just a casual heartfelt sit-down where you all tell him you're worried about him and think he needs to get professional help. Inpatient might not be a bad option in his case.

>>17697406
Were those "clinical trials" mentioned on the book itself? A book won't do shit. Even less if you hace a depressed "I don't want to do shit" guy

>>17697344
>abandon your friends when they need you most
People like you are fucking garbage.

>>17697412
you sound incredibly bitter and upset
what's got you riled up?

>>17697417
OP's friend is in a serious funk of his own behest. whether he realizes it or not, he's doing it to himself. no one is responsible for 'being there' for or 'fixing' people who refuse to help themselves. friendships are supposed to be mutually beneficial relationships, and this one clearly isn't. if OP's friend is toxic and sad and bitter, it's not OP's job to pick him back up- only he can do that for himself.

>>17697434
That's where I am now. Stuck between fixing it or getting away. A few of us have tried to encourage him. Not really address it directly but just encourage him. He gets defensive most of the time so it's tough

>>17697434
People like you who think that the best solution is to read a fucking book

>>17697434
I don't disagree with the idea that happiness comes from within. I don't disagree with the idea of getting away from people who bring you down.

But if you, as a friend, abandon someone because they're going through something then you're a useless piece of shit.

Like holy shit friendship isn't about always having a good time. Obviously being cheated on was a traumatic thing for them.

>>17697479
I've been talking to him. I'm in his life and I've given him my time. But at what point does it become his responsibility? Do I have to wait it out?

>>17697509
It's always his responsibility. It's always going to be up to him to be happy and to get through this. If your hangouts are stressful then just don't invite him to hang out. He does need time to sort himself out.
What you can do in the meantime is talk to him about things.. say that his negativity is hurtful/draining towards you and not enjoyable.
Realize that he's hurting and help along the way WITHIN YOUR MEANS.
That means listen when you can.. that means lend a hand when you can.
If you're not willing to be a friend to this person though just cut all ties because you're probably making things worse.

>>17697730
Probably best advice so far. I'll be following this mostly. I can only see myself as a friend that's willing to support him. Not the one to fix his problems