not enough empathy

>>17696169

Seems to me like you are hanging out with dumb asses and jack asses a lot.
Switch the people you are hanging out with some that are more empathetic to your condition as it is obvious that the current group is two faced hypocritical bunch that complains about your lack of empathy while at the same time not being empathetic to you.

>>17696179
I have two friends
that is not an issue for me

lacking empathy makes me unapproachable, and when I like people it's hard to convey that convincingly

not even my pets like me

short term relationships are easier, as are relationships with people who arn't very clever because I can just say what I feel and they believe me

but long term I leave people feeling empty and unimportant

Some people have lower levels or non-existent empathy. You may be one of them. Empathy is not really something that can be improved upon since it's innate or instinctive, although there is some new research that suggests it might be able to be improved upon with practice.

Empathy is being able understand and feel the emotions of another person. Reflecting their emotions back at them isn't empathy though. You can be empathetic and not reflect back the emotions that the other person is projecting. Displaying emotions that are opposing the ones someone is feeling though might be a defensive mechanism your mind is using to prevent yourself from experiencing the emotions from another person, especially the intense ones or the unpleasant ones.

Have you taken one of those MBTI tests before? Do you know which type you are?

>>17696198

>lacking empathy makes me unapproachable

That is just not true.
You might appear ugly or disinterested which makes you unapproachable but empathy? Come on.

>when I like people it's hard to convey that convincingly

Seems like you are picking the kind of people that are too demanding and clingy.

>long term I leave people feeling empty and unimportant

You are not picking the suitable people to yourself.
Do you really want to turn into a hysterical dramatic clown that cries and laughs at the flick of the finger, that ass kisses constantly and is completely obsessed with what others think of him at all times for the fright that others might feel unimportant (Which by the way is the reflection of their self esteem and has nothing to do with you in the first place)?

>>17696204
E/INTJ

I'm not sure if it's a defense mechanism or if it's just an innate lack of empathy

>>17696207
maybe I appear uninterested
people smile at me, I don't smile back
maybe I look unfriendly

all I'm sure of is that I'm not approachable and that I lack empathy

clingy people tend to be the only ones who stick around me, because they pull more of their fair share of the relationship

my friends joke that they always have to call

if there are people more suitable I'd like to know about it
I'm all kinds of bad for people with low self esteem, outgoing people find me initially amusing and interesting; but then unsettling and unwelcoming

people who arn't outgoing don't talk to me, and I dont talk to anyone so things never get off the ground

Bump since I'm a bit like you OP
The only feeling I can feel is anxiety. However I don't let the whole thing affect me very much cause I'm quite good at faking.

>>17696217
INTJs are not known for their ability to feel emotion. Although, it's not impossible, it's just a distant third to your intuition and thinking respectively. That you're looking inward and trying to become self aware shows that you have the ability to figure things out. This will be something that you will struggle with the rest of your life.

>>17696225
Eh, I'm quite similar to you. I don't ever really empathise with anyone else and I don't really get emotional over shit. Occasionally I do but it's rare.

As far as relationships go, I get "loved up" at the start but as soon as the first big argument comes along I'll get upset that time, but then afterwards I won't have the feelings any more, like my brain is blocking it out as a defense mechanism.

That said, I'm very confident, social and outgoing. I've also found that my lack of emotions within a relationship actually puts me in control since I am always the one less invested and thus less afraid of breaking up.
Lacking emotions and seeming non caring actually makes relationships easier because, as a man, you should always be less invested in a woman than they are in you in order to maintain atrraction.

As for not smiling back at people and shit like that, that does just sound a bit autistic. I mean, how hard is it just to smile bac at someone?