Nice Guys

>>17692538
I'd also like to mention that I don't post on /adv/ regularly, or 4chan in general anymore. The few times I do it's restricted to /ic/, /tg/, and /gd/
I say this to deter anyone from thinking I'm trying to start up a Red Pill thread, idk if that's common on this board or not but I've seen it thrown around here before as a controversial topic.

>>17692538
Nice =/= no spine (which is probably your version of a nice guy)

Although your talk of women as if they were some kind of swarm and not tons if different individuals suggests that you're probably not even nice.

>>17692559
No sir/miss. By nice I mean I'm honest about my intentions and I act sweet to the girl I'm seeing.
I'm well aware not all women are the same, I've met women who do like nice guys even if its for casual sex. But what I'm saying is that it seems that in most cases with women, they don't want casual sex with a nice guy but instead want a relationship.
The past 5 girls I've talked to started out wanting something casual or just sex but then I behave as I do and then they want a relationship or they don't know how to handle the situation.
My argument is that it seems that only douchebags can have access to casual sex. For hookups and casual sex you have to almost dehumanize your sexual partner, it is easier to do that to someone who is not a "nice guy" as opposed to someone who actually has more depth to their personality than just narcissism.

>>17692559
And I'd like to add that the girls that I've spoken to for the sake of casual sex, I end up cutting off. I see that they instead want more than just a friends with benefits or a casual relationship.
So instead of using them for sex I choose to be honest about it.
I am not saying that I deserve sex because I'm a nice guy, I am saying that to get sex I'd have to become a douche. In spite of my effort to not believe that, it really seems like this is the truth.
So yes you are correct Nice=/= no spine. That is not what I'm attempting to discuss here. I say nice and I certainly do mean nice.

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>>17692538
Women want a guy who can make them laugh and entertain them. They also want you to buy them shit and pay for their dinners. That is what they mean by a "nice guy". Women are extremely self-centered loathsome creatures.

>>17692602
>By nice I mean I'm honest about my intentions and I act sweet to the girl I'm seeing.
Why not use "honest" then? Nice and honest are different fucking things, mate.

>For hookups and casual sex you have to almost dehumanize your sexual partner
Exactly the opposite. The "bitches are meat" way only works on drunk/insecure chicks. Even people who think like that tend to pretend differently to get what they want. Just switch your POV, would you want to do someone who acts that way towards you?

The whole dichotomy is fucking stupid, attractive people get a lot hook ups. It's that simple. Nice IS an attractive trait, just like confidence, intelligence (or at least faked intelligence) and humor. Now finding out why exactly you haven't found a chick who's more casual about it, that's more complicated and hard to tell with the info given but it's not down to you "being nice". The majority of the people I know who get tons of pussy are pretty lovely guys and pretty upfront about their goals.

> I see that they instead want more than just a friends with benefits or a casual relationship.
See as in "think" or as in "they actually state it" ?

> I'm a nice guy, I am saying that to get sex I'd have to become a douche.
You could always try but doubt you'd like the results.

>>17692681
>Why not use "honest" then? Nice and honest are different fucking things, mate.
My friend, I can be both. I am saying that I am both.
>Exactly the opposite. The "bitches are meat" way only works on drunk/insecure chicks. Even people who think like that tend to pretend differently to get what they want. Just switch your POV, would you want to do someone who acts that way towards you?
Again your coming in with assumptions. Did I say anything about ME dehumanizing women? I said casual sex and hook ups involve having to dehumanize your sexual partner to an extent, therefore it is more difficult to do that to someone who is nice in comparison to a douche.

They actually state it. In most cases they allude to the fact that I've been kind, sweet, and up front to them. Even if they don't want a relationship afterwards, it definitely complicated the casualness of the situation.

Well I may as well try because being nice isn't getting me laid.

>>17692698
I'm only boyfriend material and I believe that girls can see that.
Being prince charming doesn't get you laid, it gets you a relationship.
That's fine and dandy but I am in no place to have a relationship at this point in my life. It seems inevitable that I'm going to have to be a douche to go about just having sex.

>>17692538

I find being nice but distant at the start works the best, girls don't want a douchebag, at least not most girls, but they also don't want someone who throws themselves at them and seems to put them on a pedestal. There's no fun in that, it's not a challenge and it makes them feel like they can do better. Then there's the girls who want a guy they think they can tame, but they generally have to still be nice in some way to make the girl interested. It's a meme to say girls want a flat out asshole/douchebag.

>>17692698
> Did I say anything about ME dehumanizing women?
Never said that. My point was that...
> I said casual sex and hook ups involve having to dehumanize your sexual partner to an extent
is bullshit that doesn't work unless there is somebody with pathetic selfworth and a respectable blood alcohol content.

>to the fact that I've been kind, sweet, and up front to them.
But clearly lacking something then. Sense of adventure, fun, mystery and the likes. Nothing wrong in coming of as bf material but not ENOUGH for hook ups ... which doesn't mean that you have to act as a pure contrast to these, just add more.

>>17692706
>I find being nice but distant at the start works the best
Can confirm that from personal experience.

>>17692706
I've been nice but distant and I don't put women on a pedestal.

It just seems to set me up for a relationship but I'm going to trust you and the other person who was replying rudely to me.
In spite of my perception, I'm going to assume that this has been a streak of 5 women who don't know what they want.or feel weird when someone is nice to them.

>>17692794

There is that too, some (a lot actually) of women are very insecure and don't take niceness and compliments very well at all. They might be thinking you're putting it on or you just want to fuck her etc.

Nice but distant is the best advice, nice in the way that you don't compromise your dignity, values and self-respect for the woman but you treat them with respect and like a fellow human being, not to be confused with kissing their ass 24/7.

Distance makes you mysterious and interesting, makes your niceness seem more genuine too because you're not forcing anything to happen. It's really the best combo.

Have you read the book "No More Mr Nice guy!" ? Its a decent read

>>17692538
ok well if you're fed up with dating, then it's probably a good idea to take a break from it til you're able to be more positive about it. good on you for taking the initiative and giving up on women for the time being, OP.

Here we go again.

>girls don't like me
>I'm a nice guy
>therefore it means girls don't like nice guys!

And as is usually the case, OP is just claiming to be a nice guy, but he seems like quite the asshole. There is a difference between a "nice guy" and an actual nice guy. And guess what, the latter is actually attractive.

>>17692538
Everyone likes a nice guy, but no one likes a pushover. You have to find a balance between being manly and being nice. Be willing to disagree or say no. Be respectful, but don't be afraid to call some bs when you see it.