Pretty simple situation here, no need to pad it out: How do I

>>17684809

Are we talking about a boy, or a girl? Also, why reconnect now? They moved closer to you or something?

>>17684816
Girl. Although it's not sexual. I just want to reconnect, although it's difficult since there wasn't much initially to jump off from

Yeah, moved closer.

>>17684827

How do you know she moved closer? Bumped into each other at the mall?

>>17684838
Nah, weird situation. Turns out she's friends with a friend's friend and moved up here with them.

Apparently he heard them talking about me one day and next time I saw him he said something like "I didn't realise you knew X"

>>17684860

Ok. Something came up and I'm gonna leave, but I don't want to leave you hanging, so here's the best advice I can give with all this info:

If you didn't really know each other, then it's not "reconnecting". Get that word out of your head. If there had been a previous relationship to go back to, you would have told us already.

BUT, that doesn't mean you are hopeless. You like this girl, because of course you do, don't lie to us.

"Meet" her through your mutual friends. You don't know her, so get to know her. Try to get invited to something they are doing, and hang out.

Just don't go expecting a girlfriend out of this, ok? You are practically starting from zero with a stranger here.

>>17684868
No, I'm really not kidding, I have no interest in her as a girlfriend. I know from the friend that she's proficient in something that could be of use to my startup, but that's meant to be a secret so I can't overtly mention it or I'm out immediately.

I know that I made enough of an impact on her that she'd reminisce about me, but I don't know how since we used to hang out in a group but I can't think of anything that would've caused her to have noticed me and can't think of anything she did that I could mention as a starting point.

Problem with meeting her through mutual friends is that we're all busy people. I need a good sounding reason to contact her and foster a friendship so I can then move on to dropping hints about my work in order to bring her back to the field and help me out.

That's why I mentioned that there's no need to pad it out. All I need is to connect with someone I haven't spoken to in years and was never particularly personally close to, although we knew enough about each other back then from being in the same group.

>>17684894

Then be honest and tell her why you need her. There's your excuse to meet.

Why have a friendship first? It's a bussiness conection, so treat it as one.

Reveal only enough information to get hrr into it and remind her there's a "test" period to see how well she works with the group before it's official.

>>17684924
Because, like I said, I'm not supposed to know about it. The situation I'm in is one where I need her to be friends with and trust me before I bring it up so she doesn't think I'm trying to use her for it.

It's happened to her before, which is partly why she moved (Again, I'm not supposed to know this) and there's no way that dropping any kind of information about it will cause her to react positively at this point since she'll just think it's happening again.

The reason I didn't want to mention the business shit is because that's not important here. I already know how to get her onboard and how to go about that, but for it to work she needs to be comfortably friends with me. Yes, I'm an asshole, but that's not what's important here.

>>17684944

Well, it might not be important to you, but it is to me.

I don't pretend to help an asshole. Good luck in your bussiness. Hope it doesn't rely on manipulating people too much.

>>17684972
I think you mean 'intend'. (Also 'business')

It doesn't. Just one instance where it's mutually beneficial. I know it's a good situation for her, especially since I can provide better equipment and a much more supportive, friendly environment.

>>17684984

I'm on a phone, and English is not my first language, so expect mistakes.

Here's the thing: if you have to "trick" an adult into something benefical for her, then I doubt the "benefical" part.

Don't treat her like a toddler, don't use her like she was used before. Yes, pretending to be her friend for her abilities is using her.

Either come right out and let her make a choice, or leave her alone. I don't think that working with someone that doesn't trust her enough to let her choose for herself is such a hot deal anyway.

>>17684995
There's no 'tricking', the point is to legitimately be her friend. Because I know (Though not 'officially') how she was fucked over before, I know that she doesn't trust people in general. What happened was a very bad thing - Not something I'm going to go into, but it fucked her up.

That's the reason I only said as much as I did in the OP. It's a twisted tale.

She did what she did to meet her own ends, which is how she got fucked over in the first place (She wasn't looking at what was happening around her, just at her goal). I can give her the equipment and environment to help her to recover and thrive, but she's so damaged at the moment that any mention of it will shut her down.

Which is why I want to reconnect with her, legitimately become friends with her, get her into a position where she's comfortable enough around me to drop hints about what it is I'm doing so that she'll be able to fix herself.

Yes, I want to use her skills for my sake, but there are other people I could choose. I'm in a position where I can help her, though. It does mean benefiting from her skills, but it also means helping her. Which is why I asked the question I did in the OP. I don't care what you think about what I'm trying to do because I know the whole story and I know how to help her but first I need to "reconnect with someone I haven't spoken to in years" (i.e The question I asked in the first place)

>>17685013

If you are "saving" her, why did you said you were sn asshole before?

And if you have not been a part of jer life for so long, how sre you so fucking sure you can save her?

Either you are a bad businessman that will let a personal nission to save her get in the way of his business, or you are a heartless asshole that's planning to use a vulnerable girl for his business.

>>17685029
>If you are "saving" her, why did you said you were sn asshole before?
Because, from everything I've heard, right now this isn't what she wants. But, from experience, I know that it's what's good for her. I want to be in a position where she can understand that.

>And if you have not been a part of jer life for so long, how sre you so fucking sure you can save her?
Without going into the details, it'd be impossible to explain it to you and I'm absolutely not going into the details.

>Either you are a bad businessman that will let a personal nission to save her get in the way of his business, or you are a heartless asshole that's planning to use a vulnerable girl for his business.
The way you've framed it, you've given only those two possible situations, which implies that you've already decided that you're against me. So why keep replying? Keep in mind that you don't know what's happened or what is happening.

>bas businessman
Decently successful, actually, which is why I mentioned being able to give her better equipment than what she previously worked with.

>heartless asshole
I covered this at the start of the post. She's hurt and refusing help, I can give it to her but she'll refuse it if offered. I can't get her friends to convince her, since I'm the one she'll be dealing with. It would make sense if you knew the situation.

>>17685044

If this isn't what she wants, then leave her deal with her crap in her terms. You don't talk to her as far as I can see. You are not her friend or part of her life in any way.

Don't play the saving hero. Don't get into shit that has nothing to do with you.

>>17685059
Yeah, I'm not looking for your opinion on this matter. You don't know the situation.

If you won't help with the initial question, then kindly fuck off

>>17685086

Of course you don't want an opinion in thr matter. You are in the wrong.

You heard about her life second-hand from a friend, and now you are going to save her even against her wishes.

Don't be a jerk and move on.

>>17685090
No, cunt, I don't want your uninformed opinion because I know the situation and you don't.

Are you such a whiteknight that you can't understand that sometimes what people need isn't what they want?

>>17685097

I'm the white knight? And what you are doing? What is that?

She knows her life more than you do, yet you decided what's best for her. How is that any different from what you are accusing me of?

>>17685097
Not same guy but I don't see why you asked your question in the first place. How hard is it to just start talking to her really? Facebook? Find something you think would resonate and tell her it reminded you of her. Mention the mutual friend that said she had moved closer again. I do however think that even if you do get in her good graces, bringing up something that she felt stung by in the past is only going to cause problems.

>>17685097
Your last para applies to you, literally word for word, w/r/t the advice you are getting now.

The other anon is right. You are overstepping your boundaries. It's not your place to step in and save her (and if it were a truly serious matter -- a deeply abusive relationship, addiction, self-harm/anorexia, whatever -- it'd be better done by reaching out to her actual friends and family, not "reconnecting" with her). This is not for you.

That's not what you want to hear, but this isn't the "tell you what you want to hear" board. Sorry.

>>17685132
A mutually beneficial arrangement.

Because what you're trying to do is claim that she'll fix this on her own (She won't) and what I'm doing is helping the both of us.

Like I've said time and time again, I really don't fucking care if you're not answering the OP. I have no interest in your childish opinion that people always know what's best for them. If that were true, she wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. This is something that I can change and get something out of - She was emerging as one of the best in the field before it happened so there's my reason to help.

Now, like I said earlier, kindly fuck off if you're not interested in answering the OP because I have no interest in your uninformed opinion in this matter. I habe the full story, you don't know what you're talking about

>>17685165
I'm not doing this to try "save her". I'm out to benefit with the side effect of helping her.

Like I've said to the other guy, you don't know the fucking story. I'm not asking for the "what I want to hear" board, I'm looking for the "answer my fucking question" board.

>>17685160
She has no social media

>>17685172
>I have no interest in your childish opinion that people always know what's best for them.

So maybe you are wrong, even if you know more than me. It's not about how much you know, apparently, because you know shit about her, can't even reveal what you know because she is not your friend, and you have other motives beyond her well-being.

Stop lying to yourself and to us.

>>17685215
You're more than just a naive fool if you think altruism is ever achievable. Yes, I have my reasons, but the benefit to her remains the same regardless.

Since I'm obviously not going to get any answer out of you morons, I'm not going to engage you any further. This thread is a waste. Have fun with your lives, maybe one day you can see the world in more than just black and white.

>>17685236

Maybe you can see if people tell you what you are doing is wrong, and the person that will receive the action will think it's wrong, maybe, just maybe, it's WRONG.

>>17684809
"Hi. I was idly surfing and googling people I used to know, and came across your FB page. Would you like to reconnect to reminisce about old times at [school] or catch up on what's happened since?"

File: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.png (1MB, 533x1226px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 533x1226px

>>17684809

Just ask them if they want to start selling cooking knives at this really great company you're working for.

That's how my childhood friends reach out to me :')

>>17684809
Build speed for 12 hours then go to a parallel unverse where you're connected with her