Fucked up thoughts

hey man, i get them too, especially when driving a car. i've never worried about it, i think there's something about how easy it would be to do something that would irreversibly change my life that interests me. but ultimately i think it through and decide that i don't want my life to change in such a way.

i wouldn't worry unless you actually start to act on them.

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Happy to hear I'm not alone with these thoughts, it's why I don't like the top floor of malls.
All I can think of is jumping

>>17681381
>i wouldn't worry unless you actually start to act on them.

Christ, I hope you're right.

Everyone gets these 'intrusive' thoughts and ideas. Like 'what would happen if I kicked this child?' or 'people would stare if I began trashing this store'. It's your mind coming up with cause and effect scenarios, all possible outcomes of your current situation.

The fact that you do not act on the crazy ones is what makes you sane.

>>17681381
>something about how easy it would be to do something that would irreversibly change my life
This. I often find myself wondering about the immense power you have as a person, the power to destroy someone's or your own life with a split second decision.

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I'm in a similar situation except I'm scared of acting on things that occur in my dreams. for example, when crossing a busy road losing control of my legs and just standing there at the mercy of a car. From what I hear it's fairly normal as well as your typical:

>spontaneously getting naked in front of peers
>jumping off high shit
>embarrassing yourself in general
>hurting others

It's usually thinking of the consequences of said actions which stop sane people from doing so, It's not abnormal to have these thoughts, OP.

>>17681414
I guess its not abnormal, but how the fuck do you make these thoughts less frequent? That's really what I want to know.

Yeah they're called intrusive thoughts and they're the only part of my OCD I still don't have under control after years of working at it.

The weird and easy ones mostly stopped by now. Nowadays I'm just forced to think about a few really shitty things that happened to me in the past but they still bother me quite a bit.

>>17681375
Maybe ask yourself why you're having these "fucked up" thoughts, which actually, aren't all that fucked up at all. You're just framing them that way because they're uncomfortable and intrusive. But they're not random.

You can view this two ways. Mechanically, and psychologically. The former is stuff like drug use (even caffeine / alcohol) and sleep deprivation, the latter is self explanatory. Sensations of entrapment, deficiency, split mindedness, self suppression and being non-genuine, etc. Perhaps you've adaptively crafted a false persona and are living a role you secretly cannot stand?

I've had the problem you described, and it always stemmed from being miserable and ignoring the reality of my experience, or telling myself I wanted, felt, and should care about things I really didn't. This shell you put around yourself eventually needs an outlet. You are denying your needs because it's uncomfortable to do otherwise.

Some violent urges are more easily explained than others, because they're more directly logical and you've already traced out the chain with honesty. So you readily know where it's stemming from. For me this is a predisposition to road rage. I get very angry, very quickly, over very minor things when I'm in a vehicle. And all of a sudden I'm thinking I ought to reach for the prybar in the side door and smash someone's skull in until it starts workin' right, or stops working at all. But I don't. And I know where it comes from. And I easily detached. Then it fades. Just remember, it can all be this way, whether your understanding is truly accurate or not.

It's normal. Take it as it is, a curiosity or a strong emotional feeling.

I just laugh it off. It's no different than somebody saying, "If you do x, I'm going to give your entire family a bleach iv drip while you sit there and watch."

Of course we don't mean it, it's just a strong emotional feeling that's overriding our thoughts.

These usually aren't baseless, they can always be tied to something.

Headbutting somebody though... I don't know why you'd ever want to do something like that. I have nothing in any of my texts about this, so you may want to check yourself in.

>>17681433
>Headbutting somebody though...
It supports what I said in the post above yours. It's a matter of partly self directed frustration, and a visceral reaction to external forces. Imagine grabbing someone by the collar and smashing your forehead into their face. Think about the emotional state that would generate that desire.

It is very clear that OP feels boxed in, controlled, and tired.

>>17681375
I had that experience first when I was in boot camp, it was surreal and felt that I didn't come up with it in my mind.

Wiggle your toes. It's oddly calming and distracting and no one sees you do it if you're wearing shoes.
It doesn't make the impulses go away but it helps me cope

>>17681395
Don't worry, you're just edgy. It'll pass once your teenage years are over.

I used to get these thoughts all the time at my old, mundane job. About mass murder and rape. Sometimes they'd piss me off and other times they gave me a boner.

What makes it worse is I was heavily abused as a child...

I once had an intrusive thought about walking out of work. It was euphoric. (tips fedora)

I think one day I'll actually act out my dark thoughts

>>17681758
Oh. I did walk out. Gave me a le rush

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>>17681424
Thanks for the in depth response, m8. I honestly feel like its a bit of both, mechanically and psychologically. I stay up all night to be on the internet or play games and in my daily life there are too many factors that make me feel on edge. I've had some bad anxiety since I was 11 years old.

Would working out my personal issues and being healthy in my daily life help make these thoughts become less frequent?