Constant Yelling at Home

Your sister may be right. Read the book Hillbilly Elegy. That guy had a similar environment growing up, but his grandma and grandpa encouraged him and helped him. You will relate to him and may learn something from him. I am not religious but when I was with an alcoholic I started going to Alanon. The serenity prayer helped so much. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. You can't change anyone else's behavior but your own. Try Alateen. Not sure if your parents drink or do drugs but they are acting like addicts so I think it would help you cope and figure out what you can do. If there is no Alateen go to Alanon. the literature is totally applicable to your situation.

Have you ever recorded them with your phone and played it back at a time when they were more calm?

>>17680844
Thank you kindly for the advice. Neither of them touch Alcohol nor partake in drug use. Clearly they've got their priortities in line...

I'll check out the book you talked about. It'll at least help my mental state.

>>17680851
I could try this I suppose.

They'll likely shrug it off, but I'm not going to dismiss the action just because.

>>17680878
Big time respect for you and proactive attitude in that situation man. I don't know your parents so in no position to judge them but I do know growing up like that without having "happy family" dynamics during your formative years is a is no joke with lasting negative consequences (sometimes only manifesting many yrs later) for kids emotional development.

Wish you luck with your efforts man won't be an easy venture but if done right will do a world of good for ur younger sibs who stil need toendure for a few years.
Do you have any close extended family like aunts/uncles? Maybe they could help with support/influence deallng with bad situation.

>>17680985
Thanks. I appreciate your support.

No such family, I'm afraid. I'll see if I can ask my school counselor for anonymous help. It's just so damn depressing is all.

>>17680819
I lived (still live) in the same environment. My parents would yell at each other for the smallest things. I was actually abused as kid by my dad. my parents also yelled at me. The cops were actually called twice. Got kicked out twice, but my grandma was always there for me. I even had a period of time where I just completely doubted myself thinking maybe this was normal and it was my fault they were like that.

They will not listen. Your relationship is set already and they've formed a habit. They're not going to listen to their child because they are the parent. There's no point in speaking to them. My grandma told me to get out of the house when ever they yelled and to ignore them. When people are shouting, it just comes out as noise. Nobody wants to listen to each other because they are set in their ways.

It's worked for me, but you might not have anywhere to run to. And sometimes hard not to say anything because you just want to give them a piece of your mind. I'm still dealing with my parents since I'm too poor to afford an apartment (I live in hawaii). At least I can get out when it happens and I'm no longer part of their fights.

>>17681028
I see where you're coming from. That's pretty much what my sister did. No offense to her, but I think it was kinda selfish for her to storm out with friends when my parents went off. I don't have it in me to do this.

I want to at least be there for my brother so he doesn't feel as shitty as I do. I know deep down that you're probably right, but that doesn't mean I can't try.

Thanks everyone. I think I'll leave the thread in like 15 mins if I don't get to you. I'll read any other responses in the morning.

>>17681046
I forgot to mention my youngest sibling. I just take him in the back of the car and we either go out somewhere or I just go to my grandmas and we all just rant and talk shit. But then again you may not have this option.

If you're thinking about shouting back don't do it. You're not going to convince anyone. They probably think they're in the right. I know it's hard because I get the same urge to shout back because they're being assholes and someone needs to put them in their place, but try not to get involved. Unless they do something to hurt you physically don't do shit. Just ignore them.

Get a McJob to spend as little time as possible at our home and support your brothers whenever the shooting happens. Like going to the movies, eat an ice cream or play video games.
You'll learn a trade that will be helpful for your studies, you'll spend less time with your parents and your siblings will be grateful.

>>17681028
Fully agree with you about OP's relationship between him and parents already being set.

Same as you did I also built up emotional walls to cope with poor relationship atb ayoung age. Without any siblings or other family for support. Upside is I became stubbornly independant and self sufficient but serious downside is also turned into a kind of emotional "island" from I reckon age of 10-11 yrs old onwards.
>>17681026

It also worked for me OP, just try not to make walls too secure preventing anyone getting close to your heart/soul

>>17681046
Definately worth trying, your relationship with them may be broken but possibly his doesn't have to be.
Also down the line having a truly good bond and genuine friendship with your brother is something you won't be able to buy so stick with him.
Good luck bud:)