GF wants open relationship.

Cucked.

[cont, also pic slightly related as she has admitted to cuckold fantasies about me]

On paper I should just leave her right? But I'm sort of attached because she is kinda my everything, it's a bit hard to explain

ANYWAY, I want to know if I should just let her do her thing for a bit so I get to keep her full-time at the end of all this, or refuse her and run the risk of making her more crazy because everyone is having a wicked time banging everyone and she's stuck in a sort-of-LDR.

Sorry for the blog post!

She's a whore. Don't even waste your time with such a person.

wow you're a beta loser
why are you putting this stupid whore over yourself? you should be beating her up for wasting 2.5 years of life that you could be spreading your seeds
break up with her, she sounds like a leech
and grow a backbone

>>17680274
Move the fuck on, OP. You can do a lot better than that and she's a ticking time bomb.

>>17680285
OP you have lost her already to this other guy and you are mistaken if you think you win in the end by giving her a green light to fuck other men. She is not committed to the relationship and you but twist it in your mind however to live with this. Hope you sleep well knowing she is fucking and sucking whomever she wants. Pathetic

>>17680274
how the fuck did you not break up with her on the spot? What is wrong with you? Break up with her. That's the easiest good advice I've ever given.

>>17680274
It's not gonna get any easier OP
It sucks now but it'll be even worse in the future to leave her
She's a ticking time bomb
You can do it man

>>17680306
She's sort of perfect other than this one thing, I only really focused on the negatives

That being said, I'm reflecting on whether this arrangement is worth it or not - like I said I see nothing wrong with her but it's a shame she seems to want a bit more where I'm entirely content

Yeah, it's over man. When a girl wants an open relationship, it's because she wants to either fish for someone better than you, or to slut it up a bit, while also keeping you as a stable fallback plan if it doesn't work out.

She doesn't care about you as much as you care about her.

>>17680327
there are ~4 billion women out there and you are staying with this whore because you think she's "perfect". think about that

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OP here

I feel what you guys are getting at and yeah I'm out of my mind, I think her crazy is sort of a thing for me though

The other side of the coin is that she sees it as a sexual venture for the both of us where we get our relationship but also get to sleep with people that hit on us at parties etc

I'm not 100% sure because it seems like a crap solution to her problems but I also feel like it might be necessary to keep the relationship; plus I at the very least get to go around screwing girls myself despite not really having the desire to right now

>>17680274
break up with her. anytime anybody says they want a open relationship its means they want to fuck around or already are and just want your approval.

>>17680365
no, shes not about "peace and love lets have hookups life is short". she sees it as a free pass to fuck this guy, who she was forbidden from until now, while keeping you around to give her Valentines day presents. do you even read what you're saying? DO NOT STAY WITH HER. you're not trapped in an arranged marriage, it's not necessary to be in a relationship with a cheating whore!

>>17680365
Oh yeah should also mention she's the only person I've had sex with - so a potential benefit is I get to at least see what it's like with other girls.

But after the dude trying to get on her (who is one of her flatmates), I don't know if I can entirely trust her not to get relationship-level (i.e. Not just sex) with someone and then apologise profusely until I'm forced to forgive her

I hate to tell you this man but she has already fucked this guy. She has just told you a watered down version of the events so she doesn't feel so bad.... The guilt is eating her up and she's trying to make her self feel better.... You have already lost this girl!

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This thread is going to be flooded by replies along the lines of "ditch the disgusting whore" (I think it's already happened), so I'm just going to say:

She doesn't sound like she's ready to commit to being sexually monogamous. She's 20, I don't blame her. She probably wants to live the university lifestyle while she can. I can tell you love her a lot which is why you've put up with all this, but if I were you I'd break up with her. Shit's obviously not something you can solve, and better for you to break up than for her to end up cheating on you.

>>17680365
lol

if you managed to fuck some girl 10 times hotter than her and better than her she would be butt devastated and have a problem with it

she just wants to do it because
1. you're a beta
2. she thinks you can't get shit

>>17680381
I get the feeling she's already fucked this guy

Also open relationships are bullshit for men because unless you're a chad, which you don't seem to be, it's A LOT easier for her to fuck than you. You might not even get laid by anyone else in this relationship but she could open her legs to any tom dick or Harry with no effort on her part

I am very sorry to tell you this, but you are just hurting yourself more.
She is not loyal, she just wants to have you as plan B, because the moment she has something secure for herself she will simply tell you that this is not working out and that you need to move on... save yourself that heartbreak and the humiliation of having been with her while she was on this stage...
Listen, find yourself a girl that feels and believes the same as you. This kind of things will break you as a man. It's hard, but this will be a very good lesson in your life.
Good luck.

This
>>17680286
>>17680306
>>17680313
>>17680317
>>17680319
>>17680324
>>17680335
>>17680375
>>17680379
Maybe this >>17680425
especially this >>17680440
and this >>17680827

Just saying, I once witnessed a relationship involving a weird girl into open relationships, and a beta cuck who let it happen. The weird girl got it out of her system after like 1.5 years, and now she lives with the beta cuck, and they have a successful monogamous relationship.

So, a situation like OP's worked once. No reason why it couldn't work again.

>>17680274

This:
>>17680440

Leave her. Don't get back together, if she comes back, she's had a few other dicks inside her. Nothing inherently wrong, but you share different values.

Just leave

Like another has said, I honestly believe she has already banged this dude, especially since she got so emotional about it and started crying.

I feel for you man, you're still young and you just love at that age like you never love again, it isn't going to easy and it's gonna fucking kill you (for now) but you really have to see this as the relationship being over, it is done.

I can't blame you for not dumping her straight away since it is your first relationship, but what she did was so fucking disrespectful, in that she has even entertained telling you that she wants an open relationship, that this should fill you with enough rage to end it.

She wants to fuck another dude man, she wants to feel that guys cock inside of her while keeping you about to be a cosy blanket for her when she sees fit and she will expect you to treat her as if she hasn't been fucking other people, as in all the boyfriend duties, FUCK that man.

If you have any ounce of respect for yourself, drop her. The pain you feel now is going to be even worse if you stay with her and allow it to drag out. The sooner you end it, the sooner you will be able to heal properly.

>I tell her it would make me uncomfortable but she claims this is only because of what society says

So she says you have no agency over how you feel and for you to feel that way is wrong because it so happens that the majority of people wouldn't want to be in this situation too. Tell this bitch straight man.

>plus I get the same.

You really won't though and I say this as a man who has been with his fair share of women, whatever a man can get a woman can get ten fold just from breathing.

Don't let her manipulate you and end it, end it with dignity by calling her out then blocking her from your life as there is no trust to be had in this relationship anymore, even if she somehow decides to "change" her mind for the sake of trying to reel you back in.

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>>17680274

Modern female progressive experimental SJW bullshit right here.

>Cut to present: the same dude puts his hand up her dress, she stops him but confesses she secretly enjoyed it

Red flag. That's fuck up, she does not respect your loyalty or your beliefs.

>Day before my birthday she tells me all this while bawling her eyes out, I tell her not to worry because it's normal to like others and at the end of the day she didn't return his gesture.

Red flag. She's crying because she knows it's wrong and she has a moment of clarity of her own fucked up life. She using you MAINLY as a social and emotional support with benefits, which is toxic as hell for YOU! You should have told her it was fucked up, rather than consoling her, you are enabling her degeneracy in your relationship and not putting your own needs, beliefs or feelings forward.

>she says that she wants the full university lifestyle, being wild and free.

Red flag. Wanting the "full university experience" of sex and debauchery. Mother fucker, college isn't for fucking or socializing, it's for learning and getting a degree, aka in hopes of a better job, she sounds like a goddamn whiny manipulative child.

>she breaks down over nothing and always beats herself up, and an open relationship to me won't fix anything - plus I'm not 100% for it.

Big red flag, she sounds like a damn mess, drop her. Especially if she loves fucking random other people and disregards your own feelings or beliefs with just "well that's how society made you think". She is manipulative, BE CAREFUL and ALERT, she will use you for her own ends and needs FIRST AND FOREMOST. And will only think of you as a tertiary partner or social/emotional whoopee cushion.

>>17680274
She is already fucking someone else
He doesn't want a real relationship with her
She want to keep fucking him but also wants you as a safety net

>>17680285
>It's hard to explain
It's really fucking easy to explain you are a pussy amd pussys need to learn the hard way
She is going to sleep around and its going to hurt and your only option is saying no now or getting a ton of pain
And of course you will take the hard road because you can't tolerate the immediate pain right now
Wathever you choose the outcome is bad but imagine how bad it would be now but multiplied by 100 that's what you are choosing

Open relationships absolutely do not work unless both parties are mutually 100% on board.

Most of the time it's one person holding the relationship hostage in order to fuck someone else, and that is doomed to fail horribly.

If you can sit there and honestly say the thought of another guy bending her over and filling her with cum every night you're not there doesn't bother you, then go for it. If it bothers you AT ALL, then avoid it at all costs. Also provably break up with her because she'll probably do it anyway if she hasn't already.

>>17680274
I know it's hard to accept OP, but fuck it, you've been backed into a corner by this girl, who I know you think likes you, but really she just needs you for emotional support. It will be hard, and you will probably regret it, but it will be worse if you stay. Think of it like she broke up with you. It was out of your control

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>>17681139

>Social/emotional whoopee cushion

That hit me right in the feels.

Pic related. Is me at 16 thinking this is how girlfriends just were

>>17680381
>the dude (who's one of her flat mates)
7/10

>>17680274
Yeah dude you should totally agree to an open relationship with her, everyone is doing it after all you wouldn't want to be the one who misses out

End it

>>17680274
>open relationship

WTF is this shit?!

Why even bother call it a relationship if you're both unable to commit?

Break up. She wants out of the relationship but is afraid to leave you. You aren't even going to have a good time in a relationship where she just wants a way out.

>>17680274
just break up with her dude.

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>>17680274
>Open relationship

Lol. Yeah, ok. The moment she confessed to kissing another guy is the moment you should of told her to go fuck herself. your relationship is still in the early stages and she already fucked up before it could go long term.

It's fucked, m8, give up the ghost. Find a decent, monogamous woman who doesn't play bullshit games. This being your first relationship look back on it and learn from it, remember all the red flags for future reference.

I've been with my GF for 6 years now, and she knows damn well I would never stand for some bullshit like an "open relationship". Be a man who sticks up for himself and his beliefs.

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She's your everything but it doesn't sound like your hers. I'd advocate stepping things up (trying to be a bigger part of her life) or breaking up and finding someone else, continuing on this route is going to hurt a lot.

>>17681358
>I'd advocate stepping things up (trying to be a bigger part of her life)
Retarded. She keeps pushing for an open relationship when he's expressed that he's not comfortable with it. She's shown with her actions that she does not actually care about what he wants, and it's asinine to suggest he try to become more emotionally involved in this joke of a relationship.

kys

>>17680365
Ffs sake man, you already made the major rookie mistake and forgave her for cheating once already (yes, drunkenly kissing someone else absolutely counts) She already lost all respect for you - and figured you for the infatuated Beta you are. Don't let her get away with it, put your foot down and breakup.
There's plenty of attractive, great girls. And a sizeable amount of them has actual integrity and a working conscience.

>>17680381
>Until I'm forced to forgive her
How does that even work? You're never forced to forgive her shit you should not want to forgive her.
Like making out with another guy, for example.
Stop thinking this crap and be a man.

Abandon ship.

You should've done so long ago.

I can understand how difficult it is, but you really just have to realize how not okay with this you are.

Run through every scenario, are you really okay with your girlfriend admitting that she likes another man, has kissed him, doesn't want you moving in, and now wants an open relationship?

I mean, I'm sorry to say, but they've probably already been fucking. Your girlfriend is putting distance between you so that she can be with this other guy. Are you okay with that?

Are you willing to invest your emotional energy and time into a relationship that doesn't satisfy her?

It's hard, but once you go through it and get it done, that's it. You come out more experienced, and now you've got a fresh start. Instead of investing time and energy into a failing relationship, you can better spend it learning to love somebody new, and somebody that is going to love you as much as you love them.

>>17680286
You dont a need any more words than that

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>>17680274
This is your future

>>17680274
It's over.

Continue fucking her if you like (you are fucking her right?) but stop being emotionally or financially attached and obviously start looking for a new girlfriend.

Sorry, you lost. She has already fucked chad. You only wide variety of options.

>You can be known as that guy stayed with his Girlfriend even though she goes around sleeping with other guys
>choose the solitude life
>weeb
>FUCK BITCHES, GET MONEY

>>17680274
ABORT!
dude I was in the same situation. she's literally begging you for your permission to fuck this guy. It doesn't matter whether you will say yes or no to this open relationship bullshit, she WILL fuck this guy. I'm sorry. keep your head up and move on.

>>17680274
One day your begging and guilt tripping won't be enough and she'll stop taking your calls. So far she keeps telling you bits thinking you'll get the hint and go away and why progressively she exposes more. She is already fucking him, you were replaced in February. Nothing is more pathetic than a weeping, begging, sniveling, emasculated man.

>>17681139
lots of what you state is true however I counter that what OP's gf lacks is the courage to break up despite HIS begging and manipulation and she hasn't told him the complete truth about her relationship with the other guy. She has honestly told him she does these things and likes it, how much more direct can she be? It's not manipulation if OP chooses to ignore the truth. She offers a compromise, an open relationship, foolish and disrespectful I agree, but it is a way for OP to pretend he's still in the hunt and shut up his crying.

>>17680365
Break up with her during university. Couples need to spend more time together than once a a week. After college, consider getting back together.

I wouldn't because she's admitted to fantasizing about cuckolding you. She's probably already slept with others guys, but is telling you she only kissed them to assess your reaction.

>>17681767
I guess guys don't understand how hard it is to break up with the boy back home. They are great guys, haven't done anything wrong other than represent the past. At 20 who wants the past but the future of unlimited possibility. That decision is hard as hell and even harder not to make a mess.

Why does this thread exist?
How fucking cucked do you have to be to even consider anything other than instantly breaking up?

If I could see you IRL right now OP I'd smack some god damn sense into your stupid ass.

When they ask for an open relationship, it's time to go. If you think closed relationships don't work you've never seen an open one. Sorry bud.

>>17680365
Dude I hate to say it but it's gotta end. If she's already cheated on you (kissing other dudes and letting them touch her is cheating in my book) and suddenly wants to go open relationship she's trying to find someone else with the guise of you being ok with it. I'd kick her to the curb before you get hurt. I can only see hypergamy going on in this (spoiler alert: it ends with her dumping you to go ride some other dudes cock).

>>17680274
>Thing is, she's my first real girlfriend but she had 3 boyfriends (1+ yr each) before and wants a go at being really 'free' to have sex with whomever she wants, as she would get another boyfriend like a week after the breakup. Plus, she says that she wants the full university lifestyle, being wild and free.
>I don't really have an eye for other girls, and to my knowledge there is nothing wrong with our sex life, but she wants a bit more even if just for a year or two while at uni.
Sounds like you're being played dude.

Keeping an eye on this thread. I'm pretty much in the situation opposite of OP, I'm the other guy trying to get at a girl with a boyfriend. Sorry i felt her up bro.

>>17681985
anon I get fucking a girl that is attached but why would you want her as a gf? She's no prize

You're just asking for a flaming case of herpes or warts! Tell that bitch its either you or them. If she chooses the latter, Tell her to pound pavement!

>>17680274
Reading this genuinely hurt me.

>>17682006
He never gave her any sex in the last 4 years and now in a ldr. He's probably religious but she isn't. She's desperate for warm love, or dick.

>>17681780
Honestly this. I can't believe what I'm reading...

>>17682021
but still, this girl for a relationship? fucking I totally get but feels will end up fucking you up and also you are likely not the only guy she's either fucked or got sniffing around that pussy. Tear that pussy up but leave

>>17682075
I actually don't mind a friend with benefits i guess. It would be nice not to be committed but have a girl to have fun with. I'm still young after all in early 20s.

>>17682033
How's the marriage holding up?

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>>17680274
>GF wants open relationship
Stopped reading there
toss that bitch immediately you turbocuck
Nothing good can or will come from this

>>17682166
Oh damn. Does the name stay permanent?

>I tell her it would make me uncomfortable but she claims this is only because of what society says, and there's no reason she can't have her cake and eat it too, plus I get the same.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>17682314
the yellow bellied yoni crony!
that b8 was fantastic, anon. well done.

This is not OP:

I wouldn't have thought of this, but why are you just so much against an open relationship? It's not about kissing or having sex with another person. It's about trust. And if you trust a person AND you have clear comunication about your relationship then why the fuck not enjoy all the berries of the world? And actually I even think that true polyamory love is possible. You would just have to focuss more on yourself and not on your partner(s) and any property-thinking!

>>17682344
Nobody said anything against open relationships in themselves.
But as one Anon stated, it needs to be something both people are 100% on board with, not an excuse for someone to cuck their partner at will.

>>17682344
There is no way you can love your gf/bf and be okay with they sleeping around. No way.

>>17682314
YONI!

Since the cat's out of the bag, can you tell us the truth behind your story? Does this mean you weren't also Lesbian Camping Girl from last week?

>>17680274
She's already cheating on you. She just wants you to accept it now.

>>17682394
I have made no more posts since my last one. He wanted a divorce and I'm currently in a relationship with my friend.

>>17682404
Oh, you meant the truth, not what happened. I don't know what truth you want. I don't post here very much.

>>17680274
don't mind me I just came to laugh at op when he is victim of a paternity fraud if he agrees to an open relationship.

>>17680274

Anon. If you're still there and reading this, I hope you catch this reply too.

I had my first and only gf at 16, now 30, never married. We were together for over 13yrs. I've been through your situation, others like it, and seen enough to be able give you my two cents.

She's asking for YOU to change for HER to give HER more options but tying YOU down to HER cause. You get nothing out of an open relationship arrangement because of the way you feel for her and you know that, that's why it makes you uncomfortable.

Women are (mostly) instinctual, insatiable gatherers and she is the type that wants whatever she can get, clearly.

"I don't have any eye for other girls" = you like her way more than she likes you, or she'd be as dedicated to you. The result in an open relationship? You play the nice guy and give her the BF experience while she gets to do whatever crazy shit she wants with whoever and you'll be tearing yourself apart every day wondering what it is. She gets all the cake and you're the server.

You WILL NOT "get the same as her" because you don't want it. She will go fuck around, and you will not because it's clear by the way you speak that you're not interested in that.

Get out of there now and do not compromise yourself.

>>17680285
>>17680274

Dump her. seriously.

Same as everyanon says. Drop her and start new relationship with somebody that doesn't think of others' dicks while you hug her.

Ditch her, OP. You know you should, you only asked here to confirm your existing beliefs.

She already fucked her flatmate and didn't tell you because she wants to keep you around as a backup safety net. This is her way of retroactively justifying what she did to herself. This guy and every other stranger she meets are going to be railing her, but you'll be the one pouring in the cash.

And if you think open relationships are the same for the guy as they are for the girl, ask yourself how many dicks she could catch by walking into a bar and shouting, "Fuck me tonight!" How many women would you pick up doing the same?

>>17682408
There was another thread a week or so ago that was suspiciously similar to yours. I believe you, though.

So. Divorce, huh. That's rough. Are you fighting it?

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OP here, damn I got a lot of good feedback, so thanks a bunch!

Anyway, I didn't end up breaking up with her so I guess I'm still dumb

However, I put my fucking foot down and told her not to fuck me around because I won't let her take asvantage anymore, and she can get either one or the other

She broke down and apologised profusely for being a shitty girlfriend, and promised to change things, gonna give it another shot

At the end of the day I'm not against the idea of open relationships, but I think they're only worth if you and your partner are both happy, stable, and just want to spice shit up

I'm still beta for not breaking off but standing up to her and straight up telling her to stop her bullshit is the least beta thing I've done for a long time, cheers for egging me on to grow like 1% of a spine

>>17682486
>I'm still beta for not breaking off
Yes you are, especially since there a 90% chance that she's already cheated on you.

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>>17682486
>gonna give it another shot

>>17682486

>>17682426 here.

You will lose eventually. She's already shown what she's capable of and has explicity expressed what she wants to experience in life right now. She will not simply give up the only time in her life that she's able to have "the uni experience" simply because you "put your foot down" and thinking so is asinine.

*IF* she were to actually complete Uni without fucking around (a 0.01% chance), she would very likely end up resenting you (a 99.9% chance) for "depriving her of that experience" down the road when she's upset with you over something, and will threaten to leave to get you to mould further for her because she already knows she has options aplenty available and is using that as leverage against you to do what she wants you to do. This is how it's been for you and how it will continue to be.

Here are some predictions on how this plays out:

1) She has her Uni experience in private anyway and you eventually find out.

2) She "slips" and comes crying to you (protip: at this point it wasn't the first time she "slipped".

3) She breaks up with you because she either found a better boyfriend experience or decides to totally slut it up.

You will lose eventually. It's just a matter of when and how. I know it's hard to take advice from people over someone you feel this way for, but please do your best to and not end up another used, empty soul.

You have put all your self-worth into her. I did the same. Stop. Before years go by and you're looking back at what could've been instead.

Break up with her...

>the full university lifestyle, being wild and free
people actually believe this

>>17681985
Stop being a cunt and go find a girl who is actually single

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I'm gonna be 100% honest with you OP. Seeing as your posting here and she's your first gf, you are at this point in life most likely what most girls consider a fairly average dude, at best. So, there's two possible set of choice and outcome here:

1) You say no dice and she ends up breaking up, or you do, or she cheats eventually. You possibly get depressed for a very long time while she moves on with some other guy(s).

2) You say yes. She fucks a shit ton of guys while you struggle to attain female attention at all, crippling your confidence and eroding your personality over time.

I might be wrong, but it's the reading this situation gives. The only way you can make it out of this situation with possibility of no long term trauma, I think, is to start focusing on yourself right fucking now. Don't be codependent. Improve yourself and do the things you want to do, expand your social circle and make yourself good with the ladies and people in general somehow.

If you can recreate yourself into a strong independent attractive man, I guarantee this whole thing will be a non-issue. She probably won't even want an open relationship anymore, but even if she does, as soon as she realises you can get attractive girls to have sex with you, she'll reconsider the whole thing instantly.

>>17682554

>>17682426 and >>17682527 Here. This guy is correct.

The only thing I'll say is that "You need to work on yourself right fucking now" is both correct and completely unrealistic for you, in your current state of mind.

I don't believe that as a person can force yourself to be able to work on and think more about you than you think about her at all. Everything you're writing proves that.

That's why you need to leave and just accept that she wasn't the one (your first serious encounter out of ~4billion women) and yes, she wants to ride way more dick than just yours and there's nothing you can do to change her or get her back to what you want her to be.

If both of you are only concerned about her being happy, who's working on you? Where will you be in life when she's finally gone for whatever reason and you're left completely empty and lost because all your (wrongly) perceived value and purpose in life just disappeared forever. Really, really think about that.

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>>17682486
ACTIONS NOT WORDS YOU DUMB FUCK

You may have TOLD her, but what you DID was let her get away with cheating.

You just chose a tremendous amount of pain and several wasted years later down the road over the momentary pain of breaking up and fucking sloots for a while.

Bravo - if you taste something sticky and salty while eating her out in the future, you know what it is.

I really hope she at least has the heart to leave you eventually instead of marrying you - because if that happens, you fully deserve to suck on the shotgun you'll put in your mouth upon finding out that your kids were fathered by some drunk dude in a Bar.


Unless you're trolling, in which case I want to congratulate you on a job well done.

>>17682486
Cucked to death

OP's a gigantic fucking cuck

>>17682344
An open relationship is fine if both parties are 100 percent on board, which is not OP's situation. A lot of open relationships are beta guys (and girls) choosing to be fucked over by their partner for the sake of the relationship