ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

(M) Is a stuffed animal a bad choice of the birthday present for a girl friend I am not interested in ? She always complains me about her lost stuffed animal, so I thought it will be good birthday present to buy a replace for it. Btw. she is interested in me a lot.

>>17679907
Old female friend ghosts me from time to time and gets mad when I call her out on it.

How do I stop being a beta male?

>>17679962
>she is interested in me a lot.
Don't do it, it's going to send the wrong message

>>17679971
Have you tried accepting that she does that and not letting it bother you?

I'll repost since it was at the end of the last thread.

Ladies what are some warning signs a guy should keep in mind when starting to date someone?

>>17679973
>Six months at a time
>Only reason she initiated is to talk about her failed relationships
>Accepting that


No, how do I let go forever.

>>17679990

What does that even mean? Warning signs about what? Her, yourself, the dating?

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I asked a girl out on a date and she said, "yes, I'll think about it".

I saw her again today and she smiled at me, but we didn't have a chance to talk.

Did she just try to put me down easy? Should I ask her if she thought about it? Or should I let her bring it up, next time we talk?

Thanks

>>17679993
>six months
Are you sure you're even friends?

>>17679971
Don't speak to it again. Creatures that ghost are not human. It isn't worth anything.

>>17679995

It means, what warning signs should a guy keep in mind when he's dating someone.

What are some warning signs in early dating. I mean I clarified that the person in question was a guy and that it was about early dating. I don't know how much more simple I can make it.

>>17680010
Not that anon, but you're not clarifying anything. Are you talking about red flags? If so, red flags for her looking at you, or red flags for you looking at her?

There's this cute girl in my class, but she leaves the room (big lecture hall) from a different door than I do, so I feel like it would seem weird if I went over to where she was to ask her out. I do have her number, but I'd prefer to ask her out in person, if possible. Am I worrying about nothing?

Also what's a better first date idea for if I'm not sure how interested I actually am: dinner or the nearby park?

>>17680008
Yeah before that happend we texted every other day and video chat on weekends

>>17680010

The question doesn't make any fucking sense though, does it? Are you looking for warning signs for that it won't work out, or warning signs that you're being used, or warning signs that dating isn't your cup of tea at all? Or maybe you wonder what are the warning signs that your date is a psycho or what are the warning signs that your date's trip to the loo was actually an escape excuse? There's a shit ton of warning signs that relate to dating and, yes, you should probably keep an eye out on them, great. Hope that helps.

>>17680013

Just ask her out

>dinner
A bit serious for a first date, try lunch.
>nearby park
Unless you have master conversation skills, there's fuck all to do at a park.

>>17680007

It could be any of those, but you have to bring it up.

My friend swerved me like that twice, even after confronting her about it. I finally locked down a yes, and then shit happened and we're "just friends" now.

Basically, don't take anything but "yes" or "no" as an answer. You want a clear, concise response.

>>17680017
Yeah, but are you friends now?

And like I said, just accept that that is what she does and move on. 'Confronting her' isn't going to make your relationship any better

>>17680040
Yes but I currently blocked her on FB kek.

There long stretches of time where we talk all the time about anything and everything, but it starts to dwindle with one word responses.

>Before she starts dating someone she tells them about how close we are and that we talk all the time.


How can I literally stop feeling anything towards this girl.

Are you loyal, girls? If your favourite singer or TV actor would offer you sexual, would you cheat on your partner and fuck with him?

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QUESTION:
Should I text or call her to ask if we can meet up to discuss what's going on between us?

SITUATION:
>been hanging out with girl I'm interested in for over a month
>cuddled while watching netflix, kissed her several times
>after one date last week she asked me if we could be friends for a little while longer, as she's inexperienced with relationships (so am I)
>I'm cool with that because I realized I was taking it a little fast
>proceed to call her twice in two days and talk AT her, not TO her (because apparently I'm a monologuing dipshit to my friends)
>another friend steps in and says whoa dude what are you doing, you need to sit down with her and communicate
>text her Friday to see if we can work out a time to chat before I go out of state for work beginning Monday
>she's too busy with work, unfortunately
>don't attempt to contact her for the rest of the weekend
>Today: turns out work's been pushed back, I may have time to meet with her

I want to call her because I'm actually a little more comfortable speaking over the phone than texting (you can get tones and nuances across much better that would be otherwise be lost in text), but I'm told that that's 'too much.' But, at the same time, I don't want to scare her off even more by erupting out of nowhere with a call asking her to hang out. On the other hand, I really, really hate texting and spend way too much time crafting a single message.

What should I do? Do I go for my comfort vs her comfort, or do I go for more passive but awkward?

>>17679962
the stuffed animal she's referring to is probably her childhood toy. It's very sentimental. You giving her a toy would be very sentimental. If she likes you, that could make things difficult

>>17680051
Do you actually not have anything else going on in your life or something?

And I didn't mean you need to block her, I said you need to accept that that's what she does. I have friends who either respond intermittently or not at all sometimes, I don't get butthurt about it.

>>17680054
What a loaded question.

A girl gave me the "let's me friends" talk after dating for 4 months. Said I was too sensitive. Does she mean exactly that, and how can I improve myself so this doesn't happen again?

>Be me
>Cubicle cuck
>QT in office around my same age and around same league
>Start talking to her
>Invite her out to a few things a few different times
>She's always pretty receptive, but always comes up with some excuse why she can't
>Abide by the typical "if she keeps making excuses, she's not interested" and move on
>A month or two goes by
>We still talk because we work in the same place and I'm not Mr. Butthurt Autistic where I'd stop talking to her all together
>Recently start talking more
>She pretty much today told me she wants to go to a local concert coming up with me and if I'm down to go, just to let her know

I don't know what to do. Do I try again and if so, should I tell her tonight or would that seem too desperate?

>>17680055
Go ahead and call her, I'd say.

Help, i just got out of my last relationship girl wasn't really the prettiest but i only started dating basically cause i ve known her my whole life. We broke up about 6 months ago and now im trying to find a new relationship, im not an ugly guy at all and girls from my high school i would run into all told me how hot they thought i was but i would never guess because when i used see them and think theirs no way she likes me or thinks im cute, just really low self esteem i guess . But now theirs this girl i really think is cute in my class and i always see her looking over at me and we lock eyes a couple times over the class, but i always think no way she cant be looking at me. i want to go up to her, but how should i go about approaching her and asking her out. im a really good talker but im not good at sealing the deal cause of my self esteem

>>17680058
Here's how:
You're too sensitive for HER. Being sensitive isn't an inherent flaw like being an asshole. Don't change herself to her tastes, because she's gone now.

>>17680060
>>She pretty much today told me she wants to go to a local concert coming up with me and if I'm down to go, just to let her know
Yeah, do it! Agree to go. You can tell her anytime now.

>>17680064
Ask her to get lunch/coffee/event
You're over thinking it. There's not some foolproof way to impress her or guarantee her saying yes. You just have to do these things.

>>17680057
Yes and no

Yes, I have plenty people that I talk to.

No, the fact I'm a beer

What makes me annoyed is
>Don't text her for two weeks, cause I want to see what happens
>"Omg are you mad at me or something"

For girls:
How do you explain to a girl that you don't think it's a good idea to keep socializing, hanging out or being anything more than an acquaintance?
My main reasons are these:

I'm almost completely certain her boyfriend doesn't like us hanging out, from my own personal observation, plus I talked to a friend who knows both me and her boyfriend, and he mentioned that he thought her boyfriend seemed jealous or unappreciative of us socializing. I didn't approach the subject, he did. She hasn't caught on to this yet. I don't want to compromise their relationship since they've been together for a long time, and seem good for eachother.

By hanging out with a funny, almost always happy girl who doesn't sweat the small stuff and who can talk about anything, who's so full of life and joy, not to mention extremely attractive with cute mannerisms and a very open and caring way about her it's basically impossible for me not to have developed feelings for her. This is really tough for me emotionally, I can't express my feelings and I can't make them go away. It's like I'm stuck in limbo, it's stressful as hell, and even though she most certainly doesn't feel the same way for me, this attraction to her doesn't go away because she's such a good person in so many ways.

Is there any way to tell a girl that you can't go on like this, without it all blowing up in my face? One problem is that she doesn't really have any friends in the area of the country she currently resides in, so If I were to cut most of the contact she'd be pretty alone. But what is worse, having few friends to hang out with or being in a constant state of anxiety and anguish, coupled with feeling bad for potentially sabotaging someone's relationship?

>>17680058

Usually when people say "too sensitive" they mean "I'm tired of you constantly spilling your emotional bullshit on me. Do you think I don't have problems of my own? I can't do the emotional coping for both of us." But just my guess.

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>>17680033
Thank you bro, I believe i'll get a chance to talk to her tomorrow. Would you recommend coming in neutral, like " Have you thought about lunch?"

First day of break in grad school and a girl I think has a crush on me just texted

>Miss you!!!

I texted her back saying I miss you to, and asked her what she was up to. Never responded but kept sending me snap chats, do I try to text her again?

For girls/experienced guys:

This girl who's also in my college dorm building was teasing me a ton last week (sitting next to me and stroking my leg while i was watching TV in the 'social room' with like 10 other people near us). So I kind of made plans to ask her out today, but she hasn't showed up in the 'social room' yet even though she knew I was sitting there chilling/watching tv this evening.

Does she have a crush on me too or was she just teasing me last week?

I'm this anon from another thread

>>17677846

I actually did ask her a question about the exam along with her friend and talked from there, she seemed super helpful and nice, but I think I fucked up.

Her friend was also with her, and I felt like I was paying more attention to the friend than I was to her. Hell, her friend kinda seemed annoyed or something at me, but the cute girl honestly didn't seem to mind me at all and seemed super into the conversation and helpful, definitely was a good sign there.

But there's 2 fuck ups I feel like, tell me if I'm overthinking.

1. Towards the end of the convo, I turned toward her friend since I recognized her from another class, and said, "Hey, do we have X class together?"

"Do we? I dunno."

"Yeah I was wondering if you did the assignment due tomorrow?"

"Nah I'm about to start that now though"

Feel like I might be over-thinking, but I showed more interested in her friend by saying I've noticed her previously and I don't feel like that came across right.

2. I didn't actually get either of their names or numbers. I completely missed my opportunity by the previous fuck up. As I asked her friend the question, another one of the cute girl's friends walked by, started talking to her, and she left and just said bye quickly, and the other girl I was asking the question too just said she's going in and said bye and left.

I don't think it was a terrible fuck up, I can just sit next to the cute girl next class or talk to her waiting for the class and ask for her name this time.

But to someone else, how badly am I overthinking this? Does it sound like it went okay?

>>17680125
Step 1 anon: always get their name

For girls, or guys if you feel like it

There's a girl in one of my classes, and I was really certain that she was interested in me: lots of smiling, eye contact, and initiating conversations with me, etc. and since I fade into the background wherever I go, I took that as her wanting to get to know me a little better. I went back and forth on asking her out, but I decided why the hell not, because she's pretty cute. Today, I asked her if she wanted to go out for coffee this weekend, and the response she gave was rather meh. She didn't sound repulsed by the idea by any means, but the way she responded, it sounded like she was agreeing to a business meeting rather than a date. No emotion, just a straight forward "sure, I could probably do something Friday" kinda deal.

Is she just not as interested as I originally thought? She just preoccupied mentally? It's obviously not a big deal, but I am curious.

>>17679962
Depends on the presentation.

>>17679971
>gets mad when I call her out on it.
Because that's ridiculous. You either accept it and stop being so serious about nothing or don't talk to her at all instead of bitching that it happens on her terms when you're the one who enables it.

>>17680007
It's basically a soft "no" unless she mentions it again.

>>17680013
>I do have her number
As long you got it from her directly, she seems not totally repulsed by you, so just ask her out.

>>17680055
>Do I go for my comfort vs her comfort,
Obviously her comfort but I missed the part that a call would go against hers; unless you actually know that she hates them.

>>17680060
Nigga, how is this even a question? Go for it. Doesn't matter when. No need to overthink stuff.

>>17680075
>Is there any way to tell a girl that you can't go on like this, without it all blowing up in my face?
"I am a horny faggot who won't be able to keep it in my pants if we spend more time together, sorry."

Also you're not sabotaging shit, the idea that anybody can sabotage a relationship but the people involved is absurd. It's her choice to hang with you.

Girls

I met someone on tinder, went out on 4 dates in 3 weeks. Felt like I was really getting into her, we had fun when we went out, then got a little drunk on the 4th date (which by this point was pretty much just going to somewhere fun and then making out nonstop) and asked if she wanted to be exclusive

This entire time, before I went out with her the first time, I had been talking to someone else Im really interested in on Tinder. I wasnt gonna act on it but a few things have changed:

1. Not sure how I actually feel about the girl Ive been seeing anymore. I hate to sound shallow but her being as tall as me (5'10) and her body not being that great is putting me off slightly (shes not fat, just a bit flabby and her boobs arent that great without a bra, trust me I feel like hitler breaking someone down to their physical features like this so believe me when I say I feel guilty)

And Im a little concerned she actually isnt right for me personality wise. Shes a really nice people pleaser. Very shy and kinda introverted. And shes lovely. But Im just not sure if thats right for me. Ive got friends like her, but I wouldnt date them because I know thats not the sorta girl I want

I feel really shitty. Im still seeing this girl but now its crunch time because the other girl from tinder wants to meet and Im very interested

What do?
Ive accepted at this point that Im pretty much gonna hurt the first girl somehow no matter what. I wish I didnt have to but I just feel like the sparks faded a bit already after the first time we slept together

>>17680160
She could be super excited but doesn't want to come off as clingy, weird or anything like that.
She also could not care much.

You seriously should not overanalyze every little thing women do, nor should you care, just do your thing, if things go your way, great, if they don't, you move on and try again next time. No worries, no drama, no overthinking petty things.

>>17680136

Well yes, I completely fucked up at the end and it was going pretty well, I was about to ask and then they both left.

>>17680224
It's time for the "it's not you, it's me" line.

>>17680225
Thanks. It's not really a bother, but if there was something I could have done slightly different, or better, then I could keep that in mind next time I ask a girl out.

>>17680197
How do I enable it?

>>17680250
By interacting with her after the very first ghosting. If it happens multiple times, you can say whatever you want, your actions prove that you're alright with it.

>>17680013
You could always text her and ask her to hang back after class or something so you can talk to her.
Idk what dude's aversion is to asking someone out via text though personally. At the very least in the sense of setting up a time and place to meet or whatever. It's not that big a deal imo.
>>17680055
TL;DR, but it depends on the person. I fucking can't stand phone calls, they creep me out. If she's the same I'd send a text.
However, texting means putting the ball in her court. She'll either respond to it or ghost ya. Calling traps her into a response one way or another (if she answers your call at all though).
>>17680058
Can't respond for her mate. and as the other anon said, don't be too hard on yourself because that's entirely her opinion and taste. You're sensitive to her, not necessarily to everyone else.
If you want to toughen up a bit, learn some self reliance skills and/or start trying to understand other's opinions better. If she's thinking you're too sensitive because you like to dump your feelings out, then start working on other coping techniques that you can do on your own. Pick your battles, rely on other people for the hard shit by all means, but the minor things you know you won't care about in a few days, work that out on your own.
If she thinks you're sensitive in the sense that you take offense to everything, then start considering the oppositions side. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and really try to understand their thinking. At least then you can form a legitimate argument on why you're offended, because you can see how they're perceiving it.

Ladies. Is it normal to be broken up with if your boyfriend finds out you used to like BBC? My bf just dumped me because he heard it through the grapevine i fooled around with a few black guys. It wasn't even serious with them, just pure animal lust. No love like there was with my bf. Why doesn't he understand that its a phase that every woman goes through?

>>17680064
Work on yourself before you try dating. Start by being someone you would find to be a catch. Make yourself what you think is attractive. Do shit that you can be proud of. Self esteem will rise with success.

>>17680326
He can't live with the thoughts that he may not live up to with them, sexually. That's a huge blow for a guy.

>>17680326
>every woman goes through?
Do not assume everyone thinks the same way as you for starters. I do not like large dicks in the first place and have never met a black man I personally have found physically attractive.

Secondly, sounds like you dodged a bullet. Dude was probably hella insecure or racist or both. Cut your losses and move onto someone with more confidence in himself.

>>17680337
to them*, not with them.

>>17680337
Sexually he never will unfortunately,. But I love him to death and want to settle down. I shouldn't be punished for what I did in the past.

>>17680326
>>17680337
>>17680341
Guys, this is obviously a troll. Some guy has been ranting about women who like BBC for like the last week.

>>17680349
>Sexually he never will unfortunately

Then he's not the guy for you, sex is a huge part of a relationship.

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>>17680353
I know. but I couldn't resist.

Guys, how would you want a girl to handle it if she thinks you have a crush on her? She has a boyfriend (and you know it), and there's absolutely no chance of her leaving her boyfriend for you.

>>17680326
>Phase every women goes through

I'm taking the bait, bitch I'm second generation mixed and I've always had a thing for white guys

>>17680370
Move on, keep looking

Is it normal for girl friends to send sexual pics to eachother? I don't use snapchat but she's been sending me snapchat photos of the pics to me and when asked she said "I sent it to my girl friend" and when I asked why she was like "No particular reason". Am I being cucked?

>>17680376
No, I mean how would you want me, the girl, to behave and act, if I suspected (with good reason) that you had a crush on me? I'm not sure if the question was clear enough.

>>17680370
I want her to do what adults do and be straightforward about the fact that nothing is going to happen between us.

>>17680395
I would think that the fact that she has a boyfriend makes that clear enough, wouldn't you?

>>17680125

No response on how badly I fucked up?

I mean next class, should I just sit next to her and go, "Thanks for the help after the exam the other day, by the way I'm anon, I don't think we got each others names"

Or just try something else? Halp

>>17680384
Oh sorry, I misunderstood. Idk, I guess just don't act all that interested. If you really are sure he is into you just tell him, no big deal. If he is like most guys he will understand and probably move on.

>>17680370
There is nothing to handle, by having a boyfriend it should be clear enough which guy you're interested in dating. Besides, it's going to be awkward and somewhat annoying if you did think wrong. Been there.

>first date went really well, ended on a strong romantic note
>seeing each other again, i don't have a concrete plan for a second date
>want to do something more intimate, kiss her

I'm throwing a small surprise party at my place for a mutual friend's birthday, going to invite her. If I manage some alone time with her, I can see it happening. But alternatively, I think maybe sometime earlier this week I can tell her I'm going stargazing (I study astronomy) and ask if she wants to join me. Kiss her then, don't have to focus on that during the party.

Sound good?

>>17680456
One on one will be a better experience than the social party imo. Your entire attention and focus will be on her, even if you actually get a moment alone with her, you're not going to be able to spend the whole party with her. That'd just make you a shitty host lol.

>>17680471
>shitty host
Yeah, not trying to neglect my friend like that. Can't have my cake and eat it, too.
I'll clarify though, it's not /actually/ a surprise party, and my friend is fully aware of and supports my ulterior motives.

Still, I'd rather do something that's just us, first.

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So I met this girl in July. We hit it off, she is my first kiss, I feel alive with her and I feel like we both have mutual feelings. I tell her my feelings, and she rejects me since I'm leaving soon. In late August, we get into an argument that was avoidable.

September we are radio silent between one another. Suddenly, last week, she starts snap chatting me like we used to back in the day. I was over her, but she suddenly started talking.

Why did she suddenly come back? Is she bored and trying to catch up? We meet every Wednesday due to a program. But I found it weird. Help?

>>17680406
Obviously, but you made a question, and i gave a coherent answer to that question.

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>tfw girl who texts me every day didn't text me back today

Why does a minor thing such as this feel so painful... How do I take my mind off of this?

>>17680585
Go do something that doesn't make you think about tiny shit? Play vidya, work out, go do something insane and post it on snapchat and see if she sees it. It better be insane and funny tho

>>17680370
I'd probably want some space for a bit to get over it. In return, I'd like it if she respects that. I've had to deal with some women who'd reject me but then refuse to respect the fact I wasn't comfortable hanging out with them, and it always annoyed me.

>>17680349
Your bait is weak yet retards are still biting it. Bravo /adv/.

Girls, why woukd this girl suddenly start avoiding me like the plague but then glance at me like 50 times during class? We used to be pretty flirty but now she says she's stressed and busy and barely talks to me anymore, but still does that.

>>17680563
Someone help me, this shits driving me insane.

>>17680591
I don't have Snapchat. Neither does she.

>>17680647
Wait till she replies. If you do text her. Never ask her why she never responded.

>first date with girl
>We're surprisingly dorky and silly with each other, get along great
>too adorable, surreal, even
>agree to see each other again

on the other hand, I'm dealing with severe depression and mild PTSD and have a skin condition (psoriasis) where a good portion of my body is covered in skin lesions.

How the hell do I approach this?

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>>17680661
>Never ask her why she never responded.

Isn't it interesting how certain kinds of people are beyond personal responsibility?

Are some girls just extremely lousy at texting or if they text short and cold is it a guarantee she hates you?

I thanked my gf's parents for wishing me happy birthday. Her dad said 'glad you enjoyed your day etc' and her mum said 'no problem anon, hope your studies are going well'. Do I need to respond to that? Her parents make me nervous so I don't know if I need to respond further or if the conversation is over.

>>17680737

Some girls are bad at texting.

Other girls send short cold texts to communicate disinterest.

The only way you'll know for sure is if you talk to her IRL.

Do girls ask questions here as well?

>>17680753
Thanks. It sucks that I have to text her because I may not see her irl often or ever again :/

>>17680756

We can

Do guys often fap to fantasies of girls they know in real life?

>>17680763
I specifically never fap to girls I know in real life. I'm worried that I might feel awkward around them afterwards if I do.

>>17680763
All the time. If you got big breasts, of even if you don't but wear a cleavage, I certainly fapped to the thoughts of me motor-boating you.

>>17680763
Don't recall ever doing it with anybody sans girlfriends. I do like to fantasize about girls I knew and don't interact with anymore though. (Changing school and workplace on a semi annual basis made that part not that hard)

>>17680763

The most powerful orgasms I've had have been from fapping to my deepest irl desires.

Guys,

How do I tell if someone is flirting with me? I'm a friendly and touchy person by nature so I have a hard time discerning if a guy is just being friendly the same way I am, or if he's flirting with me.

If a girl randomly texts "Miss You!!" whats the chances she is interested?

>>17680854
Can you give a little more context than that? What does he do that makes you think he may be flirting with you?

can you ever give a guy TOO much sex? is there a point at which you'd be pushing a girl away because you're just tired of it or her?

>>17680900
Depends on the intensity of the sex and times per day. The dick hurts after a while.

>>17680751
bumping for advice

Women, are you more likely to go out with a guy if you think/know he has a big dick?

>>17680751
Say thanks.

>>17680935

I wouldn't want to know about his dick before our second date, personally.

Make it a pleasant surprise

>>17680897
I'm not thinking of a specific guy. it's just that during certain conversations either in person or through text I get the feeling that their actions might be considered flirting, but I don't like to assume anything.

>>17680935
No.

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Should I feel good or bad about this?

I'm the guy (blue)

>>17680935
No...? If anything, I'm less inclined because whatever reason I know that for isn't likely to be a good one.

You always see here people say, as the guy, don't ever double text. Does this apply to girls as well? Is it never seen as needy when a girl double texts or texts too much?

>>17680944
Well, how can we comment on something such as that without an example?

Through what you have written, all I know is that you have the feeling someone may be flirting with you; however, you don't want to assume. That's completely reasonable.

With that said, I cannot comment on if someone is or is not flirting with you based solely upon your intuition. With examples I can give an outside opinion. It doesn't even have to be real, just something that would give us an idea.

What are they doing through text to make you think this?

What are they doing through action to make you think this?

>>17681015
with plenty of experience I can safely tell you that it's not a problem with girls. If anything it's somewhat expected. It's just the way social conduct has evolved on 2016.
Men tend to text for a very specific purpose while woman use texting as a regular social tool just to have a friendly conversation.
Unless there is a very specific case that worries you I don't think there is any problem there.

>>17681060

Wait so... it's not a big deal for the guy to double text? Also, girls text more yet they take ages to respond.

Femanon here. Is it a bad idea to tell my friend I dreamed that I was kissing my former crush a while ago?

>>17681075
No, it's not really a problem, once again if there is a specific situation that's on your mind it could be different, but as a general rule nowadays double texting is fine.

>>17681116
Tell a friend? That friend is nothing more right? No it should be fine I suppose. But the question is why would you want to do that? The only reason you should feel pressed to talk about this kind of stuff is if you actually feel the need to fulfill a desire and obtain something from this "crush".
Otherwise it's just a dream and lewd(or romantic dreams) are nothing to worry about. Most people have them once in a while and they can both be with people you know or you don't.

College aged male, last semester I befriended a girl and we both fell for each other really hard, essentially becoming a couple in everything except declaring an official relationship each other. Through shitty school related circumstances, I won't be seeing her again for about a year. We both want one another to be free to live our lives in the meantime, but after trying to go on a date with someone else I realized I don't really want to be with anyone other than her right now. I'm totally okay with not being romantically involved with anyone for a year.
I'm more interested in a real, loving relationship than casual flings.

I guess I'm asking if anyone thinks this is strange/atypical for someone my age.

>>17681015
I actually really like it when this happens to me. It makes me feel like she is genuinely trying to speak with me.

>>17681152
>College aged
You coulda just come out and said it, makes things easier.
I think you're fine just don't burden yourself with it. It can be toxic if you force yourself to believe that she's "the one" but if you're okay with waiting it out and seeing if you still have a chance once you're back together I think it's all good.

Bear in mind I do think having experiences is a good thing. It provides better clarity to guide yourself towards your ideal relationship in the long run and surely can't hurt. Basically what I mean is that it should be fine to approach a relationship seriously if you so desire but don't force yourself to see it as your only option.

Obviously you shouldn't put that pressure on your partner either. Be ready to accept that the way you see things might not be the way everyone else does. This self awareness is important as it will prevent you from suffocating you're partner with your actions.

How to have sex with a 10/10 guy if you don't want to be known as a whore?
How hard is this?

>>17681293
Drug him.

Or be a 10/10 female.

>>17681293
Don't worry, everybody already knows you're a whore, like all women.

>>17681195
I'm not deluding myself into thinking that she's "the one" or anything, been there done that with oneitis. I do think her and I have something that will work though, despite it being impossible at the moment. Had a friend deliver a surprise birthday present to her a few days ago and she was so happy she broke down crying.

The country that I'm studying in has me constantly getting hit on by natives because of my race and it's really weird tbqh. I want to be seen as a person and not an object so that's probably part of why I'm so uninterested in pursuing a relationship in the meantime.

I've already decided to keep living my life in the meantime and use this time to develop myself more. I'm trying not to build any expectations for the future, but I am looking forward to being able to see her again.

I really appreciate the advice, thank you!

>>17681402
Sure thing, seems to me you'll be doing just fine.

Guys: I've liked a guy for quite a long time and a few months ago I asked him if there was going on between us because I was getting some vibes, he said "no" and when I asked why (out of curiosity) he said he didn't want to tell me. Was he trying to not hurt my feelings? I'm just wondering why he couldn't tell me.

This girl likes me (girl A) but I don't like her, but she has a friend (girl B) which I like, but my best friend likes girl B.
What the fuck should I do?

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>>17681458
The only two reasons that come to mind is that the reason is either to spare your feelings, or to avoid backlash.

For the former, maybe he's just not feeling it, maybe he's into another girl, who knows. For the latter, maybe he thinks you're unattractive or that he can "date up" and wants to avoid the backlash that could cause. Impossible to say with the amount of information given.

>>17681477
Yeah, that's possible, it's just weird to me looking at it from an outside perspective because some of the things he's said have been really flirty and easily perceived as him hitting on me in his own way, there's just been a lot of nuances that perhaps I've been reading too much into. A mutual told me he was interested a while ago, so this leaves me more confused. I know people can fall out of feelings for someone and move forward but this subtle stuff has been going on for a long time.

Im a 27 year old male. Im pretty terrible with women and have dealt with social anxiety basically my whole life although its not as bad now as it used to be. Ive been hanging out with the best friend of my 20 year old younger sister. She turns 21 in like 3 months. We've hung out just the 2 of us several times now, but i was always too scared to make a move. The most was just cuddling on my couch watching netflix.
I thought she might like me cuz I really like her so i wanted to finally stop bitching out and just tell her how i feel since i was too beta to ever make a move physically.
I told her how i felt about her and she admitted to liking me too and feeling a similar way towards me, but she said she "wasnt sure if she wanted a relationship right now Id have to think about it ." I said well I guess thats not really the answer i wanted, but just think about giving it a shot I guess.
Im gonna see her this friday at a concert im going to with my sister.
Im planning on asking her if she thought more about it, but i dont wanna sound too desperate.
Was I too much of a bitch and shouldve been more physical or assertive? If she says no should i try to just persue a physical only relationship with her or is that creepy? My sister is kind of a "hoe" as she likes to put it, but her friend is way more chill. Was she trying to just let me down easy so she can be free to fuck around? Idk i mean she said she liked me too? Should I just move on just be her friend if she turns me down or try to pursue her? We get along great and have so much in common.
Thoughts?

>hang out with my gf and a friend
>he is recently single and starts to talk about the girl he is seeing now
>turns out she loves to be beaten and choked and all that in the bedroom
>later that night my gf confronts about how i seemed really jealous of him having such a submissive gf
>told her that it sounds fun, but probably isnt for me

The next day she called me and says she wants to explore our sex life a bit more and that i shuld do whatever i want with her for a night, so that she can show me what she liks the night after.

Problem is that im already doing pretty much everything that i would want to do with her. So i just make something up? Like pretending im into something a bit weird? Suggestions are welcome.
>

>>17681526
To add: Im pretty sure she wants me to show her something i like first, because she woul be ashamed, or feel bad, if she just demands something only she likes. She is weird like that.

>>17680763
Yes

>>17681526
Tell her you're already doing what you want. She probably feels insecure because of the incident and doesn't really want that.

Girls and guys: What kind of dirty talk do you like/dislike from a S/O?

so there is this girl who is very affectionate towards me, but she has a bf. i can't work out if her affection is romantic or not. we spend a lot of time together, and often -ever since i found out she has a bf really- she is the one that asks "hey, wanna go together? hey, should i wait for you?" etc. she is very shy and timid so it is not just that she is trying to socialise.
i like her romantically but my emotions are very weak so i can control them, and i am fine with being friends, if we keep being sincere and caring for other as right now.
what should i do? how can i understand her intentions? do girls crave for relationship with stranger (as in nonrelatives) men that is completely nonsexual/nonromantic, while obviously caring for/enjoying-the-presence-of a guy?
because as far as my emotions go, if I am so affectionate towards a girl that isn't my sister, I also would be interested in being together with her if circumstances allow

Is it normal for girls to never initiate conversation through text?
i met a girl a week ago, gave me her number, went on a date the next day.
we talk normally through text but i'm always the one initiating contact

i've only gotten in relationships with clingy girls that always texted me the whole time, so this girl not texting me is kind of throwing me off balance

My normie friends insist a girl who was (((lesbian))) earlier can cheat on me with a girl. I believe that being lesbian is something you do when you're stuck without a boyfriend, and as soon as a girl finds a real man (not a robot), it stops being a thing, and she'll certainly not drop a guy for a girl. This is true, right?

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>>17681496
Honestly there's no way to tell without more information so I'd just suggest you focus on moving on and hang out with different people. There are countless potential reasons of varying offensiveness but you'll probably never know.

>>17681583
She's probably bi and could potentially go carpet munching again m8. Course if she's willing to cheat it doesn't really matter, the issue wouldn't be if she likes cock or tits or both.

Ok /adv/, I really fucked up this time. I've been in a relationship with this girl for a month. She's kind, understanding, sweet. We go along together really well, we fell in love and everything was good for once. The thing is: I have anxiety problems. I won't go into details, but she told me she's not happy in this kind of situation. She wants to help me, but she feels like she can't, powerless. I decided to go and see an expert, to overcome this problem of mine: for me and for her. I even told her that I'm not forcing her to be with me if she's so unhappy and shaken, I care about her happiness more than I care about mine. When I offered to give her some space, by not texting/not seeing her, she refused. But she's scared about all this situation, she told me that even if I'm going to get well, it will take some time. What the fuck do I do now? She seems so distant, but she doesn't seem to want me gone. How can I make her feel better, make her see that it's not a tragedy?

Is a week too far in advance to ask her out? It's the one time I'm sure I can see her in person to ask.

>>17681678
always ask her out as soon as possible

Does being mad at your crush for rejecting you make you a creep.

>>17681526
"I'm already doing what i want, but if you want something else, you need but ask."

>>17681722
Are you being mad at her, by letting it affect how you treat her, or are you just silently fuming within yourself?
Because the former doesn't make you a creep, but it does make you an asshole.

>>17681678
That's fine and normal.

>>17681739
Well she started ignoring me for no reason. All I did after the rejection was get over it a few days later and said hi to her the next time I saw her and she completely ignored me.

>>17681628
>I even told her that I'm not forcing her to be with me if she's so unhappy and shaken, I care about her happiness more than I care about mine.
For someone with a hero complex, she does NOT want to hear that. She wants to help you and have you be happy. She wants to see you prioritize yourself.

You're being an overdramatic martyr to say things like that. She'd never agree to it. If you really want her to break up with you, you need to phrase it in a way that it would be the best for the both of you.

But you don't really want to break up with her, do you?

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For both sexes, but primarily women:

Did you ever regret rejecting someone when they asked you out? Did you ask them out or did they ask you out again? Results?

>>17681569
I have a male friend who I am very affectionate towards. We both are in a relationship and our SOs both are happy with the two of us being close. I was close friends with his girlfriend long before him.
It's really nice because we don't have to worry about leading the other on. We can hug and spend time together and talk about life. We also talk about how wonderful each other's SOs are. It's a good thing we've got going.

There are several things that point to us not being compatible romantically.

I'd say that being shy and timid tells me that she struggles with socializing. So it makes sense that she really holds tight to the friends that she does have. Connecting with people can be really important to someone. I know that I need it in my life.

>>17681551
Like:
>(during fingering) Wow, you're already so wet.
>(during blowjob) Mmm, yes. That's my girl. That's my good girl.
>(during orgasm) Yes, come for Daddy.
(I fully recognize that I'm a dirty degenerate)

Dislike:
>Insults said with disdain (whore, slut, etc)
though if they're said with affection (my sexy little slut) I'd probably enjoy it
I'm honestly having a hard time imagining stuff I don't like.

>>17681743
That sounds like you're not mad about the rejection, you're mad about the cold shoulder.

>>17681770
The cold shoulder mostly. You can at least be nice and say hi

>>17681746
I did regret it pushing a girl away once because at the time I didn't have a job and I thought didn't have what it takes to be in relationship in term of maturity. I'm still not sure if it was the best decision, some times you gotta take a risk and that's my biggest defect: I'm a pussy.

>>17681751
problem is, I want her to be my SO. As you can expect I am not great with women -I'm not really attractive, average at best- and I don't really meet&talk to girls for the sake of flirting&relationship, I don't like spending time with people I don't actually enjoy.

so I shouldn't expect anything romantic?
And you are definitely right about socialising. she couldn't even say hi to a girl at our class (neither of us had met with her at that point) she saw at metro. she then told me she wanted to meet her because she was playing nintendo or some shit that she is also into.

but still, isn't it weird for a girl to act this courteous towards a guy? for example we were at metro yesterday, she fell asleep and i moved to somewhere else to sit, and later she said "i got scared when i couldn't see you.." with full sincerity.
and today, she asked me if i wanted to go together through whatsapp, and i said i am not going today and she said "oh, well. okay, i'll send you the notes" then added "but i can still wait if you decide to come..". am i over-reading these stuff?

i think i am being obsessive again, but whatever.

For anyone.
There's this girl I've been friends with for many years. Best friends, we hung out all the time and talked about everything (or so I thought). I was perfectly happy with that relationship. I never sought anything more or had any ulterior motives. I did find her attractive but I valued our friend ship. I also don't have much trouble finding partners.
Anyways, we've always flirted with each other and a few months ago she started giving me those bedroom eyes that she never did before. So I thought "cool, we're gonna do the sex"
So I make a move on her and big surprise I get rejected. I feel a little bit betrayed but oh well, mixed signals happen. We set things straight.
Two days after that she leaves on a 6 month trip over seas.
A day after that I find out a shocking truth that she has slept with literally every one in my friend group and their brothers and their friends.
I'm thinking "the fuck? Why have I never heard any of this from her? Why have I never heard any of this from my best bros?"
So anyways I was left in the dark by basically everyone I know and considered my friend. Luckily I was told by someone I consider my closes friend. He assumed I already knew.

Recently she's been trying to get in touch with me and be all buddy buddy like nothing happened (she doesn't know that I know her true self). She's also still overseas probably in non stop orgies.

I just want to cut all contact with her and pretend she never existed. But that would cause drama and she's going to come home eventually.
What should me next course of action be?
>also yes, I am NOW mad that she rejected me

>>17681807
Sounds like she cares about you and is a little clingy. It could totally be platonic. She sounds kind and cute.
The safest thing would be to assume everything is innocent while she's with her boyfriend.

>>17681824
Sounds like she values your friendship in the same way you value hers. In the same vein, she doesn't value the friendship of those other guys.

She could be trying to be polite. It isn't really cool to kiss-and-tell, and I make a point to not discuss my romantic and sexual life with my male friends.

>>17681824
Yes, I realize I got friendzoned like a motherfucker. I didn't really care at first because I don't have much trouble finding partners.
What got me was what she told me and I quote "Anon I just can't treat sex that way. It's not something I can just give out". I knew she wasn't a virgin. That's not a big deal to me. I just assumed she would only have sex with her boyfriend. Not everyone accept me.

>>17681831
So you're mad that she didn't want to admit that she was a skank?

>>17681838
Yeah pretty much. Not just at her but all my other friends that never said a word to me.

I should also mention that when we flirted around with each other it got pretty hot and sweaty sometimes. She would literally just be teasing me by biting (playfully) and pressing her tits against my crotch, etc.

>>17681851
Look, just because a girl is a slut who fucks a lot of guys, doesn't mean that she owes you the sex too. She was attracted to and wanted to have sex with those guys. She didn't want to have sex with you.

She's still horny as all hell though, therefore the teasing. It's not about you, she's just super fucking horny.

She doesn't give out sex to everyone who asks. You know this from experience. She probably rationalizes it as making a conscious decision to sleep with those guys, therefore she isn't a slut. Or whatever.

She doesn't want the reputation as loose. She's not gonna describe herself as loose. She's not gonna brag to you, the guy she turned down, about all the men she fucks. That would be rude.

It's also rude to be a guy who brags to his friends about fucking a girl.

Sex is private and personal. They have no obligation to tell you about their exploits. You cannot expect that from them.

You could take this all to mean that she thinks you're important. That you're a friend who she wants to keep.
Or you could think you're a leper.

Guys
How bad would it hurt/upset you if you found out your gf found you physically unattractive (but still loved and appreciated you for who you are)?
What about that you couldn't fully satisfy her sexually, for fetish reasons?

Girls

I'm frustrated. I like talking to girls, I like being friends with girls. But it frustrates me because I could have a really good friendship, but as soon as they get a boyfriend it fucks ends. this past year I've become pretty close with 3 different girls. When we would talk we'd talk about everything. And they knew my intentions, because I told them I was just wanting friends nothing more. They got boyfriends and they never text me anymore. Fuck, a while ago, I was really close with 1 girl. She got a boyfriend and stopped texting me, she broke up 6months later and started texting me again, than a few weeks later got a boyfriend and stopped.

This is draining, and it really make some feel like shit. It makes me feel like I'm not worth anybodies time. Even when we've had a good history. i feel pretty down Tbh.

>>17681863
>She probably rationalizes it as making a conscious decision to sleep with those guys, therefore she isn't a slut. Or whatever.
That actually kind of makes sense. Stupid, but it makes sense.
I'm not gonna beg her for sex and I don't feel like she owes me anything. Unfortunately I just can't see our friendship the same way. Especially after she said
>I just cant treat sex that way. It's not something I can just give out". And how close we were and they way we flirted and stuff.
I would like to just cut contact and move on. I feel like that would be the best for both of us.
But she's going to come home eventually and we're going to have to deal with some kind of drama.

>>17681890
I don't understand why you feel so slighted that she was in denial about being a slut

Why does 4chan always advise men to be extremely respectful to women, way more respectful than to other men?

>>17681897
Are you a guy or a girl?
If you're a girl then I don't really know what to tell you.
If you're a guy then just picture you self in my place.
If that doesn't help then imagine having what you thought was a close meaningful friendship only to find out you were nothing more than an emotional rag/outlet being kept in the dark by all your friends.

>>17681826
ok, so I shouldn't inform her about my not-so-innocent intentions? I thought i would casually bring it up if conversation ever leads to that

> It could totally be platonic
i didn't understand what you meant by that. She is platonic? Doesn't platonic mean "someone's love for someone else who cannot be reached by the someone (basically impossible love)"? Or is there a different meaning to it?

>>17681902
>nothing more than an emotional rag/outlet
What? How is she doing that? Because she wants to be your friend and not your cumdumpster?

>kept in the dark by all your friends.
Why were they supposed to tell you?

>>17681910
Correct, do not bring it up while she is dating her boyfriend. When she is single you could ask her out. Do not put her in that position while she is taken.

>"someone's love for someone else who cannot be reached by the someone (basically impossible love)"?
You're thinking of unrequited love. Platonic is non-sexual friend love. I platonically love my best friend. I platonically love my mother. That kind of love.

>>17681899
Because for some reason everyone thinks that every dude on 4chan thinks that every woman owes them sex.
And that all men are sex crazed and everything they do is to get sex. Its all about sex.
Women have vaginas so they control the sex.
They also don't like sounding like sluts. Any woman who admits to liking sex is a slut.

You don't want to sound like sex crazed dude or a slut on an anonymous image board. People might judge you

>>17681918
not even hint at it? wouldn't she then feel like "betrayed" or whatever?

>that kind of love
oh.. woe is me, then, if that's the case

>>17681911
No, I just thought our friendship was meaningful.
Whats wrong with wanting sex anyways?
I don't know about you, but I appreciate it when my friends keep me up to date and in the loop.

>>17681923
No. It's awkward. If she asks you, don't lie. But think of it like this.

>You confess your love
Here are her options:
>She doesn't like you. She rejects you and you're no different from where you started, but it's more awkward.

>She likes you! She wants to be with you. She then has to break up with her boyfriend.

>She likes you! But she doesn't want to break up with her boyfriend. You're in an awkward spot where hanging out feels like cheating.


>You hint that you like her
Her options
>She doesn't like you. She doesn't change her actions and runs the risk of leading you on.
>She doesn't like you. She has to change her behavior to not be so loving so that she doesn't risk leading you on.
>She likes you! She wonders if she's reading into your hints out of wishful thinking, and feels like she's cheating on her boyfriend with you.


You decide if it's worth it all to risk the circumstance that she'll break up with her boyfriend for you.

>>17681924
Why is it not meaningful?
I don't expect my friends to tell me every time they get their dick wet, because it's their private life and I understand that they don't want every lay to be public knowledge.

>>17681878
Pls respond

>>17681924
>Whats wrong with wanting sex anyways?
Nothing is wrong with it, but just wanting it doesn't mean you'll get it. It requires both sides wanting it.

>>17681955
>>17681878
I'd feel like shit. Why do you need to tell him?
In what ways is he unable to satisfy your fetishes?

>>17681945
hmm. but i am not talking about "i love you, please be mine!" kind of thing, i am talking about just letting her know "i would be happier if she was my gf but i still enjoy having her as a friend very much". This would still cause awkwardness? I mean, from my point of view, honesty would only bring greater sincerity to a friendship, but of course, i am an autistic guy that would prefer to be told "i don't want to hang out today, i just don't" to "i can't make it, i have things, sorry!" (considering the former is the truth of course)
and how minimal do you think are the chances of she breaking up with her bf? from what i worked out they've known each other at least for more than a year, and probably started dating last year. quite minimal, isnt it?

Sent a risky text to a girl I like and who I thought liked me back which didn't pay off. Bare in mind I see this girl pretty much everyday, how do I avoid awkwardness or is that pretty much inevitable.

And yes I should've taken the 'don't shit where you eat' advice

Don't have any classes with her,
Never spoken to her before,
I look like a retard.

I'm going to go up to her and initiate conversation.
What can I say to break the ice and infer that I want to speak to her and get her number.

I have no problem speaking to girls, just don't know how to make this sound not fucking abnormal.

I'm not a beta if we're just friends, right?

>>17681878
Are those two different questions?

>How bad would it hurt/upset you if you found out your gf found you physically unattractive (but still loved and appreciated you for who you are)?
I'll simply take that as a given, I'm a scrawny, goofy looking dude so any relationship I might have is not based on my looks.

>What about that you couldn't fully satisfy her sexually, for fetish reasons?
For that specific reason I think it might depend on the fetish, I'm on board with most stuff bar scat or anything more extreme.

>>17681961
Not planning on telling him, but I'm not sure what to do about it.
I'd rather not go into detail, but as far as fetishes go its not THAT weird or niche but it would make the average person squeamish. Point is that when we're intimate its really hard for me to be turned on by him.

>>17681973
> just don't know how to make this sound not fucking abnormal.

Because it is. It's creepy to go up to a girl you don't know to flirt. No way to change that.

if her friend casually mentions she had a crush on me the first time she saw me cosplay a few years ago as a joke and she surprised and says "what are you talking about?!", is that a good indicator she may be interested in me?

>>17681974

Betas don't exist, but I get what you mean.

Do you want to be her friend? Or more?

>>17681983
I'll watch in a bit

>>17681987
Yeah I know, gotta soften the blow.

Girls when would you consider a guy to be your boyfriend? I have been seeing this one girl 1-2 times a week since August. Apart from the first two dates (both ending in heavy make out sessions) all dates have ended in sex. Two of these dates were sleep overs and involved morning after sex. I brought up the the subject of making things more defined in a general sense two weeks ago, but she says that she wants to take things slow. Is that code for "I still want to see other people and enjoy being single" (something which I am currently doing but don't really want to and will stop the moment things are defined) or is it she just wants to see how things go with me?

>>17681991

The only way to soften the blow is knowing her, and if you don't share classes nor friends, I don't see that happening.

Stalking her to find an opportunity would also be creepy as hell.

>>17681979
>Point is that when we're intimate its really hard for me to be turned on by him.

Judging solely by this, it's going to be really difficult for you to stay together, without you cheating.

>>17681878
>How bad would it hurt/upset you if you found out your gf found you physically unattractive (but still loved and appreciated you for who you are)?
It depends on how much I agree with you. If I'm under the impression that you think I'm cute, then I'll be hurt, but on the other hand, if I'm completely aware that I'm physically repulsive, then you saying so in an honest manner isn't that big of a deal. In fact, if there was something I could do to help it, I probably would, whether that be to get a stylish haircut, get into better shape, get cleaned up, whatever. Not everyone is good looking, but just about anyone can look good, if that makes sense.
>What about that you couldn't fully satisfy her sexually, for fetish reasons?
That's something that could be worked out to an extent. Certain acts can have compromises, and anything your BF is physically incapable of, there's probably a toy for that somewhere.

This is just me, but as painful as the truth is, I really would rather have that than soft pleasantries. If everyone's feelings are out in the open, it can be awkward, but at that point, problems can be addressed, and the relationship could be all the stronger for it.

>>17681994
We both know each other through one person, but I've never properly interacted with her.
No stalking, just when I see her around I'll spark up conversation.

The objective is go get to know her, she's a quite girl, this isn't very easy.

Once the conversations started its a non issue, not ending up coming off as a creep is the issue.

I wouldn't mind a girl approaching and talking to me, but I can't emphasise with the other gender I guess.

>>17681744
Hell no. I just wanted to let her know that I'm not forcing her to be with me. I want her in my life, but I can't force her.

>>17682007
>I wouldn't mind a girl approaching and talking to me

You wouldn't mind her or a girl you like coming up and flirting with you. Now imagine it's a girl you don't like, that's kind of creepy or something.

Rule of thumb: If you find yourself asking "Is this inappropriate?", more often than not it is inappropriate.

What can you say to change that? Nothing, really. Just going to someone while they are out and about, minding their business, just to flirt is inappropriate.

Want to meet girls? Go to parties, bars, speed dating, etc.

>>17682008
Telling her to prioritize herself over your happiness will make her feel like she has to stay. Because you're being pitiful and lonely.
You can't make her be honest about pity dating you. There is nothing.
Maybe have her read books about codependency. Take her to an al-anon meeting. Have her go to a therapist with experience in codependents

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Is a big dick a turn on for gay guys and straight women?

big dicked virgin here

>>17682026

Have you regularly gotten to the point of fucking and they only change their minds after seeing your dick?

If the answer is "no", then your dick ain't your problem.

>>17682008
>I just wanted to let her know that I'm not forcing her to be with me. I want her in my life, but I can't force her.
Not that guy, but you kind of fucked up. She said she's unhappy with the situation, but unless she mentioned separation, then she probably wants to stay. Now that you said "You can leave if you want to" she probably thinks you're under the impression that the relationship is going to fail. It's not unreasonable for you to think that she wants to ditch when she says she's unhappy, but making assumptions can lead to issues, like now.

I don't know how to remedy your situation, but I do believe your situation is salvageable. You should have just left it at "okay, I'll get help. I'll see an expert." That's it.

>>17681889

Anybody?

My girlfriend recently did something disgusting. I'm quite disturbed by it. Please read on;

We were at the breakfeast buffet on our school trip. My girlfriend starts ruffling under the table with her skirt and i'm like wtf??

She says "I'm saving some food for later, lunch isn't till 2 o clock". "And i'm like in your pants???" and she's like "no, in my vagina silly".

and then i'm like "eeewwwww, why don't you put it in your pocket or something" and she tells me that vaginas are naturally clean whereas pockets are filthy and you'll get loads of germs from eating food outta your pocket.

She said that her mother showed her how to do it and how it's completely natural and that women have been doing it since stone age times. I was shocked by this and unsure whether or not to believe her.

Fast forward to around 12.30 and we were on a train.We go inside a toilet and start kissing and after a few minutes she sits down and starts fumbling in her crotch area again. And sure enough, after a few seconds out slides a sausage. She asked me if i wanted some and i was like "eh....no thanks" and then she just ate it as if it was just a normal sausage off a plate.

I asked her if other girls do this and she said she didn't know, it's not the kind of thing they'd talk about. but she said she does it occasionally and she finds it really handy when she's stuck for food.

I'm kinda worried now, this can't be healthy can it? Surely you'd get some sort of disease down there

>>17682030

I'm a guy, just to let you know.

Those are toxic relationships. I've had a female friend since I was eight, and we regularly talk and hang out like with any of my guy friends. Nothing ever happened between us.

She got a boyfriend, a kid, her boyfriend left, and we kept the same kind of contact.

Now, we were always "guy friends". I never acted as her boyfriend, even emotionally.

You seem to get into the supporting role pretty quickly, pretty deep, and with a lot of people at the same time.

That's why it's awful and draining to you.

>>17682038
Goddammit I laughed. Thanks

>>17682017
I realise you've misunderstood my intentions. I'm not looking to flirt, or get her number for the sake of getting her into bed. I want to go out on the weekend to meet her and get to know her as a person, arrange something.

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>>17682038
Duuuuuuuude

You're girlfriend's fucking weird

>>17682030
It's also possible that the girls' boyfriends are jealous. Or that they're neglecting all their friends for the boyfriend, not just you.

>>17681899
All men (boys) posting on 4chan are always a sex thirsty virgins.
It doesn't matter what amount of detail you put into describing your situation. If you're a guy you are in the wrong and its all because you think the girl owes you sex. That is all.

>>17682046

And why do you want to meet her? Why do you want to get to know her?

Are you going to see if she would make a good business partner? Or are you trying to see if she is gf material?

>>17681899
>>17682049

You should be nice to guys too. I mean, I don't kiss and grab my male friends anymore than my female friends.

I don't expect my male friends to give me stuff (sex or attention) just because I hang out with them.

So I don't treat my male friends worse than the female ones. And I advice people here to act like this.

should I give up on a girl who said shes still trying to figure out if she likes me or not? I've wasted 3 weeks on this girl, and I have made myself look like a fool around my family and work colleagues.

>>17682052
>be nice to guys
umm thats not how you train them.

>>17682041

The thing is I don't care if they have a boyfriend. That's perfectly fine. It just pisses me off when we have a great friendship, but then all of a sudden it just hits a wall. And out of nowhere she doesn't talk anymore.

That's what I mean.. it happens with all of them.

>>17682058
>should I give up on a girl who said shes still trying to figure out if she likes me or not?
Yes. "I don't know" is just "no." Don't embarrass yourself to win her over. If she really likes you, she'll come to that conclusion by seeing you as you are everyday. That being said, you don't need to completely avoid her. Just don't go out of your way to impress her.

>>17682058
You think because you gave her some time she owes you sex. Typical...

>>17682060

I didn't mention the boyfriends.

I'm telling you the problem I see is that you two get into a very close, emotionally dependent friendship.

What kind of stuff do you do with you female friends?

>>17682051
We have a few common interests that I know of and I find the way she presents herself adorable.

More interested in long term relationships admittedly, but not with somebody I can't talk or relate to. I'm not perusing her, I'm perusing potential and meaningful relationships, or if they dont work out, friendships.

Question that doesn't deserve its own thread:

Anyone with access to 2 phones who can test this?
If I put my phone on airplane mode and check messages on the facebook messenger app, will people see them as read after I turn airplane mode off? What about my time last active? If I haven't been on facebook for 2 hours and then use airplane mode to check messenger, will it show me as have been online 5 minutes ago after I turn airplane mode off?

>>17681526
Just slap her face a bit and maybe go for anal?

>>17682063
What? I'm trying to date this girl, not immediately fuck her.
>>17682061
You're right anon, plus I don't think I could really ever avoid her. I'm her only friend at work and she only ever hangs out with anyone else who works there when I am present.
Last night she did say that "there was definitely something there", but I won't hold my breath.

>>17682058
For me personally, yeah, I'd advise you to give up. Not just because she won't "come around" (perhaps she will), but because you'll start off at a very uneven footing if the start of your relationship was her trying to make up her mind while you were into her.

Having said that, three weeks is absolutely nothing and trying to get close to a person is not "wasting" your precious time. If you were genuinely interested in her then it was very much worth the shot, and you get some extra experience which never hurts. Life is not a simple formula where every single interaction that does not get you a concrete reward is time you threw into a black hole.
If with wasted you mean that you directed all of your time/energy/money/whatever into this girl for weeks, then yeah I understand the sentiment but your issue is more with getting so invested right away than with having three weeks patience.

Do Chads and Betas exist or have I polluted my mind and self esteem?

>>17682068
>We have a few common interests that I know of

Thought you didn't know her. Are you investigating this girl you don't know? Or just looking at her from afar for long periods of time?

Either way... not attractive.

You see her as a potential girlfriend. Sure, you wanna know her more, but you have a goal. When you approach her, that goal is what makes it creepy. You can't disguise that, unless you are willing to lie. But that would be creepy in and unto itself.

>>17682076

Second option. This one was easy.

>>17682063
When did he say anything about sex?

>>17682074
Thanks anon, I like the way you worded that.
I don't know, i'm your typical anon. This kind of stuff is all too new to me that I was bound to overthink alot of aspects of it.

>>17682079
I've never spoken to her but I told you we have a mutual friend.

I don't see how approaching a stranger to start a relationship is creepy at all, how else could you possibly do it?
That's how friendships work, and obviously just because they're the opposite gender you don't jump past the friendship stage, despite your intentions.

>>17682076
It's make believe.

Chads and Betas don't exist in real life, but there are all different kinds of people and one of them is a an assertive, strong and confident type and so is the withdrawn, feminine, held back, passive aggressive, manipulator.

>>17682066

It's not that I'm emotionally dependent on them. It's just I'm very loyal to my friends, so it frustrates me when friends just stop caring.

>what do you do with female friends?

Honestly, just talk and text. Sometimes go out and see a movie or get food. But really just chill. We've never done anything sexual before

>>17681889
>>17682060
I understand your feelings and them not even trying to communicate what's going on in their life tells me they are at least emotionally immature to some extent.

However, make a thread asking how to feel about your girlfriend's male friends, see the "she's going to fuck them", "they will talk her into dumping you over nothing", "she'll have a beta orbiter ready the moment you don't have time for her" and you might understand it a bit more. It is frustrating and, to me, pretty childish (then again I'm also European and we seem to be a lot more relaxed about male/female interaction without fucking), but a lot of young people are insecure about this and/or convinced that it's bad news to have friends of the opposite sex.

It is possible that they simply abandon you in favor of being fully in love, but it is more likely to me that at least part of the reason is wanting to reassure their new boyfriend who hasn't been around for as long as you are. For the record, I experienced this as well. I have a friend I've known for eight years, nothing ever happened (not even cuddling, despite sleeping over semi-regularly for some time, drinking together etc), zero chemistry, and yet I have not seen him in two years because if I came to their place he'd get the silent treatment for a week.

This being the situation does not mean that you need to accept it. I have a hard time abandoning ship on friendships so I dealt with only seeing this guy on his terms for a while, but by this point I'm done and if he'd invite me over I'd tell him that I'm done with catering to his girlfriend I never was competition for in the first place. It is well within your rights to not want to see someone anymore over this.

>>17682073
>>17682084
>boohoo I wasted so much time on her and she didn't gib me anything
It's all about what the world owes you isn't it?
And its all about you just wanting to get your dicks wet.

>>17682087

How do you make friends? Do you see someone you are interested in and then go to them, even if you don't share classes, never talk to each other, and all that happens with this girl?

Please, tell me how you make friends.

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>>17682092
>projecting your own issues onto another person

>>17682090

Do you talk and text as much and about as emotional stuff as you do with your male friends?

And I get you don't have sex with them, I think it's perfectly fine.

I'm just saying, how strong is the support you offer and how much do you ask back?

>>17682093
I go up to them and talk to them, see how well we get on and talk to them less or more based off how well we talk.

I think you've got too much of a literal and enclosed viewpoint of the world and Hunan interactions.

Out of curiosity how old are you and what's your gender?

>>17682086
You're welcome! That's quite normal and understandable. The less experience you have, the more impact the experiences you do have leave on you. That's completely natural but try to be aware of it and not go overboard there. Especially because some people are cunts, and giving a lot of power to their words/actions by adopting them as apparently normal/regular greatly undermines you.

The only real way to get over this is by getting more experiences so you can see things in perspective. You develop an intuition for how much someone likes you, how well they treat you etc over time that is much more valuable than any hand guide you'll find online or from friends.

>>17682076
Not in stereotypes, no. Plenty of people are assertive and strong-minded in some aspects of life and not in others, just to name something. Is it true that people who have self esteem and are at ease with who they are, who respect themselves enough to not let others treat them as lesser, are more attractive? Yes, absolutely.

>>17682093
No that guy but to make friends you cannot be the most important one.

If you see 3 guys smoking outside, go buy a pack, come near them and ask for a light. Begin a conversation about what they're doing later that day.

Be a well rounded person and pretend you're like the people you want to be with, make up a new persona for every friend group you have.

>>17682100

I'm a Sarvaxian and 100. Does it matter?

If you can do that to make friends, why doesn't it work here?

Do you use the same method for male and female friends?

>>17682105

So you adopt whatever habits they have, and then lie and craft a new persona for them?

You are either really insecure or trolling.

>>17682106
>I'm a Sarvaxian and 100. Does it matter?
It does, it allows me to understand your viewpoint and emphasise with you.
>If you can do that to make friends, why doesn't it work here?
I never said it doesn't, just wanna know the best way to go about setting good first impressions and breaking the ice.
With any old stranger I don't care about the outcome, with somebody I like beforehand its more important I do it right.
>Do you use the same method for male and female friends?
Yes

>>17682110

You do the same with guys and gals. Awesome!

But that's because you want them to be your friends. This doesn't work for this particular girl because you want more. Like you say here:

>with somebody I like beforehand its more important I do it right.

So, back to my very first answer, going to someone you don't know, with the intention to make them like you, or asses if they are relationship material, or any of the stuff you are trying to do with this girl, is creepy.

No ice breaker changes that.

>>17682091

So pretty much I shouldn't try to talk to girls anymore then?

>>17682110
>>17682118

And you know it's creepy, else you won't be looking for a way to make it less creepy.

>>17682122
>>17682118
I don't see it as creepy, I think I have a predisposition that I'm romantically interested, which means I should tread carefully. However I don't see how its creep to anyone but a 12 year girl who's afraid of the cooties or something lel.

>>17682092
1/10
Made me reply

>>17682097

Yeah it's about the same with male friends. We talk about the same things.

I offer lots of support. I never ask for anything. But it seems they don't even care anymore

>>17682124
>I have no problem speaking to girls, just don't know how to make this sound not fucking abnormal.

You call it "abnormal", I call it "creepy". We mean the same thing.

>>17682134
Abnormal means unusual. Creepy has connotations of crime, violence and harm.

>>17682121
Not everyone is like this and from your initial post it was unclear to me whether you tried to talk this over with them. There is still a chance that they lost sight of you in the honeymoon phase and will come around after being confronted with that. Girls can sometimes be too easy to see guys as carefree/slightly indifferent and assume they won't be missed. Even if a jealous boyfriend is the case, maybe there's room to compromise. Maybe he feels better after having met you, or she just went and assumed that he would not like her to have male friends because her ex didn't, and he does not actually care.

I mean, obviously you can befriend guys and have an attitude change where you interact with girls to get that kind of dynamic/contact, and not to build reliable friendships. But it's not like a male friend can't ditch you when he gets into a serious relationship (or any other reason, really)...

>>17682129
>I offer lots of support. I never ask for anything. But it seems they don't even care anymore

Those are unbalanced relationships. Being unbalanced doesn't mean they are bad, but given that you are feeling bad because of them... I'd say they are bad for you.

>>17682136

Ok, let's not argue semantics.

Would she like this "abnormal" behavior? Or would she be against it? What do you think?

>>17682142
Let's not get patronising

>>17682146

If she won't like it, then don't do it. That's what I've been saying.

No ice-breaker will make it less abnormal.

>>17682136
Have been lurking your conversation. I see zero issues with approaching someone you don't know but appeals to you. And yeah you can be crude and act like that makes it all boil down to looks, but in reality we pick up more about a person than just their appearance, they also give off a certain vibe that can pull you in.

However what your issue is here is that you're neither a complete stranger nor an acquaintance. So the risk is that she perceives your initiative (especially if she's kind of awkward herself) as alarming because it feels unnatural - that you probably spent weeks doing that whole "see cute girl / picture life together", and there's already pressure and expectations and what not. You don't want that. So try to let her realize that you exist. Sit within her view, answer or ask questions if possible. She's talking to someone you know? Find an excuse to remind them of something and shoot her a quick smile. Basically you want to put yourself on her radar.
Then you can make your move. Ask her to be in your group for a project, or if the opportunity arises sit down next to her and introduce yourself. Then once it is established that you have reasonable chemistry (in terms of chatting, interests, humor...) you can ask her to spend time one on one.
Your plan to me is not unheard of but rather high risk high reward. And you don't want someone within your everyday environment to spread stuff about you.

>>17680026
There is much more to do at lunch though..

>>17682159

Anon is not in her classes though. If he was, we would have gotten to what you mentioned earlier.

They have a "mutual friend". That's all we have to work with here.

>>17682165
>>17682159
Oh shit, scanned it through too fast.

New plan: inform mutual friend of interest, make sure to pass it off as casual interest and not investment, and see if they can arrange for some event where you will both be present. Talk to her then.

>>17682168

See? I personally find that "stalker-ish", getting people to lure her to you because you have no common ground with the girl.

I mean, setting up two single people looking for someone is fine. Manipulating things around her without her knowledge or even knowing if she is looking for a guy is not (just my opinion, of course. But I think most people would agree).

>>17682174
Can you interpret it as creepy? Fuck yeah. Then again, so is looking at profiles of people you don't/barely know online (or exes or whatever). So is sniffing clothes someone you're in love with left somewhere. So is pretending to be more or less experienced sexually than you are to not deter someone.
Perhaps not the best examples, but I think you get my point. A LOT of people would not have existed if people didn't force these "natural" meetings.

And after all, it's not like much is set in motion behind her back. All that's arranged is an opportunity for them to have actual interaction. Now if the mutual friend went all out talking "OP" through what to say and do to cater to her tastes, it becomes shady for me. Simply making a meeting happen is fine with me.
Yeah you can set them up, but it will make the entire vibe different, there's going to be pressure and expectations. It is also in "OP"'s benefit for her to meet him as just a guy, and not instantly as a guy interested in her, as a suitor.

And if she's not interested in meeting a guy, she's fully capable of not engaging OP during this event, or not taking him up on any subsequent offer. I honestly don't see anything wrong with this.

>>17682109
Being myself made me friendless for 21 years.

I took advantage of being a sociopath and made great friends. I meet with around 15 people in 4 separate friend groups a week.

>>17682192

Or maybe, you are an asshole and pretending to be someone else could only improve your chances.

>>17682199
Whatever, I made it.

>>17682190

I didn't use the word "natural" in my post intentionally. Cultural norms and nature don't always see eye to eye.

But this OP has already built the "relationship" in his mind. He is already inquiring about her, as he mentioned they shared interests. He is already in stalker mode.

I wouldn't like to be on the other side of that, personally. And I feel he fits into your definition of creepy here.

>Now if the mutual friend went all out talking "OP" through what to say and do to cater to her tastes, it becomes shady for me.

That already happened. He already researched her and he is asking us to walk him through it. How much more creepy do you need?

>>17682204

Congrats. Hope you imitate a better person enough to actually become one. Doubtful, but that's all I can hope for.

>>17682206
I meant natural within the context of cultural norms. So meeting because you both happen (at least to her) to have interest in the same event is a natural meeting, as opposed to meeting for a blind date. Closer to accidental.

To me, a simple question about shared interests to a mutual friend is hardly "stalker mode". Not like he asked what her dating history was, and it's a legitimate question to determine whether she is of real interest to him at the end of the day. If they had absolutely nothing in common he could've avoided this whole awkwardness of trying to meet her.

I would not care to be on the receiving end. And I can be pretty awkward with guys coming on to me. Not to sound accusative or whatever, but I genuinely wonder now, do you feel that in situations like this, where they might be soul mates for all we know, OP should just give up and bury this interest because he doesn't happen to personally know her? To me, life is too short for that. It's not that I think inquiring about a person is not at all a form of research - obviously it is. But if it's just about "hey, this girl I think is cool, what is she like?" that touches much more upon everyday human curiosity than "stalker mode".

How much orgasams does it take to make a woman fall in love with a guy

>>17682244

In general, I personally find it creepy for people to go out of their way to meet someone just because they are hot.

I mean, of course the first bite is with the eye (I don't like that phrase, but you get what I mean).

Is it creepy to see a pretty girl in class and talk to her? Not necessarily. You heard her talk, she heard you talk, you might have exchanged a few words before, and you have a common space that you share, so it's easy to approach.

It can be creepy, though, if you go too fast or too strong.

But in any case, you already made a first impression. You have a reason to be around. And you are supposed to notice if she is kind of available, or if she avoid you.

Now, going on from looking at a girl and deciding that because you have a few things in common you can approach... I never find it not creepy.

Sorry, I just don't. It's obvious what you are doing, and it's like "where is this coming from?", because you don't know each other.

Finally, in this specific case, we have seen the dude map out the possible outcomes and stuff already. How he sways back and forth between admitting he wants to ask her out and not. I can't, in good conscience, tell him to go for it.

>>17681970
Anyone please? I'm genuinely awful is social situations.

>>17682297

What kind of risk text?

It's a dick pic, isn't it? Because in that case, crawl under a bridge and hide forever. Or change jobs or whatever.

>>17682301
Nah it wasn't a dick pic. Just a really cringy (for lack of a better word) message saying how she looked really nice the other day and if she wanted to come to a jazz night I was heading too.

It came up as seen instantly, it's been now two days and she's been active on social media but no reply. However I have to go in tomorrow and she's no doubt going to be there.

>>17682330

Have you spoken previously? Or was the message out of the blue?

Either way, play it cool. Don't "avoid" her. Say hi like everyday and move the fuck on. And don't bring the text up.

Not much else you can do, I'm afraid.

>>17682339
We've spoken in person plenty of times but never talked outside work. The past week we've got pretty matey so I thought I'd risk it but seems like I jumped the gun a bit.

Regardless, I'll do what you said.

>>17682370

Yeah, don't make a scene out of it. What happened happened, now move on.

Question for the ladies, I smiled at a girl i saw on the street today and this is what happened, she kept her head low looking to the ground, then she made eye contact looking through her eyelashes at me and then down again a few times, i assume this means she liked me smiling but she was pretty shy about it, is this a correct assumption?

I'm being "ghosted" by a female friend-ish. Judging by 4chan it seems that the person being ghosted is the one at fault for "not getting the hint". I don't see how ghosting is ever justified.
Either way, is it okay to send her some sarcastic text like you are so nice thanks for replying or will that turn me into a huge jerk?

>Dating is cliche and stereotypical
>people still do it

I don't get it.

>>17682377

Depending on why she is ghosting you, that text can make you a jerk or not.

It's still something you say to start a fight, so be ready to deal with the fallout of sending it, though.

>>17682377
Look at it like this, you have better things to waste your energy on then someone who hurts your feelings.

>>17682380

First we have to define what "cliched" and "stereotypical" is, why it's bad, and whether or not it applies to all dates.

Some of us have fun going out with people, so I guess YMMV.

>>17682384
Thanks. I can't think of anything I could have done wrong to her. I never annoyed her with texts and I'm just asking her about how she's doing now since I haven't seen her in a few weeks which is strange.
>>17682385
Thanks. That's true but I feel like I'm letting her get away with it the easy way if I don't do something. Getting it off my chest should make me feel better.
My group of friends has been acting weird in general lately, and now this, so that's why it bothers me. But maybe I should just ask a mutual friend about it whom I get along with a bit better.

>>17682380
Our species would die otherwise.

>>17682428
She already made it easy for you by showing her true colors before your friendship bonds got stronger as for your friends acting weird you can always try asking what is wrong.

>>17682375
Probably trying to reciprocate your friendliness without trying to invite you to make a move on her. Some guys see a real full on smile as an invitation.

I do the same thing only instead of diverting my eyes I break the eye contact much faster than would otherwise be normal when smiling at someone, to discourage them.

>>17682377
Ghosting is absolutely shitty but it is also fairly normal especially in an unwanted friendship. A lot of social etiquette evolves around not letting things reach a point of conflict. Doesn't mean she couldn't have had more balls.

If you were real friends who shared a connection and knew each other for some time, it's fine to let her know that you are disappointed she could not muster to actually tell you what she (didn't) wanted instead of going this way. Being passive aggressive is only likely to alleviate any guilt she feels because the knee jerk reflex in response is irritation.
If you didn't actually know her that well, be the bigger person. Not for her sake but because it will make you look resentful and petty for rubbing it in her face.

I just realised I hate american """women"""

This girl works at the grocery store my friend told this cashier I thought she was cute fucking with me ( she is pretty cute) and she staters nervous laughing acting like she didn't hear. Now I go in last week to get turkey from their deli and she shows up too and starts chatting with one of her employee friends loudly about her work schedule literally a foot away from me and tells him her schedule and how she has nothing to do on Friday that's her day off. Then I went to check out and she ended up right behind me and talked to the cashier again about her schedule loudly and said bye to me as i left

Did she want me to ask her out???

Did she want me to ask her out ???

>>17682480
good advice, thanks
>>17682442
thanks as well

For guys and girls, my overweight ex fwb is obsessed with me to the point of leaving desperate voice mails begging to fuck. I cut her off months before I started a relationship with my current girlfriend (who was a virgin before we were together) and am happy in my relationship. The ex fwb knows this and has currently increased her crazy behavior by threatening to show my girlfriend the videos that we recorded together (blowjobs, anal, reverse cowgirl). I know this will devastate my current girlfriend and am shitting bricks over the possibility that she will do this. what are my options?

>>17682522
Sue for revenge porn or whatever.

>>17682522
Warn girlfriend about the situation. Don't go into detail but tell her that your ex is blackmailing you and threatening to send private stuff from your past relationship (that you are very glad has ended), and if she contacts her not to look at anything she sends her as it is just meant to hurt her and harm your relationship. If at all possible, show her texts that prove that your ex threatened to send sex videos and not to prove that you're cheating on current girlfriend!! Otherwise it might look shady. So then she won't open whatever ex sends and won't have to deal with not being able to unsee that.

DO NOT panic to your ex, that will make her feel the power she has over you. State firmly and calmly that you already warned girlfriend that she'd be willing to stoop that low, that what she wants to do is illegal and that you feel sorry for her that it has reached the point where she's trying to manipulate you based on what you had. Stress again that if she wants to resort to illegal stuff, that's on her and not on you.

Make screenpics of EVERYTHING she sends you and save it very well. Build evidence to potentially sue her in the future if push really comes to shove. If you happen to know a lawyer you can also have them write her a letter basically saying they are ready to sue the moment she wants to try anything, watch her shit her pants.

And change your number. Make all your social media private. This woman is unhinged. Be worried.

>>17679907
to the ladies:

my girlfriend did xtc once at the age of 19 and I'm the type of person that's very conservative (including sexually). Her partner count is good though.

Should I still be worried about her moral compass? I never did xtc so I read up about it to learn more but I still think it's shady as fuck

>>17682537
I wouldn't worry too much, we all do stupid things when young. What is her age now?

>>17682537
Not having the same values as you doesn't mean that her moral compass is off. It might mean you're incompatible, though.

However, to know that I'd personally care more about what she has to say about it than that she did it once. Lots of people experimented with drugs, and trying it once is experimenting in the truest sense of the word. If she looks back on it as something she shouldn't have done or something she thought was alright but wouldn't try again, I wouldn't see a reason to worry. If she shifts the blame ("oh yeah friends wanted me to do it it's so not me but I practically didn't take the decision so it's not really my choice/action to begin with"), can't tell you why she tried it, says she wants to try it again or do other drugs... then it's time to reconsider whether you're on the same wavelength and what you want out of a girlfriend.

For girls:

What do you think about guys who have waifus (waifu: a crush on a video game/anime character who is female)

>>17682480
I am the type that approaches regardless if i get signs or not since the initial reaction after it is much more clear but i get what you mean.

>>17682541
22

>>17682545
Thank you. It's sometimes really hard for me to put these things in perspective. She's from a turkish household and lived there for her entire life, so I don't know how it's viewed there, but my other turkish friends (not diaspora) say it rings a bad bell in everyones ears there (could be because of religious mentality but still).

Is it wise to bring this up and talk to her about it? I'm not going to point my finger but just try to ask it in a curious tone, as I'm not afraid to expand my worldview a bit.

>>17682552
Sure that's valid, but it's not just about avoiding the situation in the first place but mostly about avoiding that the guy gets upset because he feels led on. Some guys feel so humiliated/undesired when you tell them that you're not interested, that they try to turn it around on you and become mean about your behavior even if you just wanted to be nice.

>>17682548
Fine if it's just a little soft spot for the character. Owning full body pillows, thinking of her as an important aspect of your life yada yada - no.

For me it's actually because I used to be like this as a child and young teen. I only lost my interest in fantasy crushes once I fell in love for real. Maybe it's judgmental but a guy being hung up on a crush on some unachievable girl (doesn't even really matter whether she's fictional or not, but the fictional parts reminds me even stronger of myself as a naive young girl) feels kind of... emotionally stunted to me. Really being pulled into a character and their narrative is fine, indulge in it. But it becomes different when it becomes a priority in the real world.

>>17682532
Will do, anon. thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope it all works out

>>17682377
Just block her and move on.

>>17682500
Yeah they are pretty much all worthless sluts to be honest. And the ones that arent are just whiney annoying cunts. But I need them for sex ao I deal with it occasionally.

>>17682569
>blocking someone who doesn't text YOU

>>17682558
No problem! Keep in mind that a restrictive culture can make the forbidden fruit seem that much more appealing.

Sure. Just frame it as you indeed being curious and wanting to hear where that was coming from for her because you do not personally relate to being curious about drugs.

For the record, all kinds of people do drugs. I would never be compatible with someone like you and that's fine and not why I'm saying it, but just as an illustration - I have done a third of an xtc pill once (we shared among friends), smoked more pot than I should have and I snorted cocaine once. I also barely drink and am sober a lot more than most of my college friends who drink every weekend, I do well in my study, work a side job to get by financially and volunteer as a social worker, and I have kissed and been intimate with one person in my life at twenty three. You also probably would not guess it - I have no tattoos and no desire to get any, I don't even have my ears pierced, I don't wear make up. My main hobbies are reading and translating poetry, both of which I do for hours daily.
Now I am not trying to deny that I have an interest in drugs and like I said, that makes me incompatible with plenty of people who very justifiably (and you don't even have to justify that in the first place!) feel ill at ease with that. Nor am I trying to deny that there are plenty of people who do fit the stereotype of the YOLO clubbing/drugs/casual sex lifestyle. But the more experienced you get the more you'll find that there's always people who have unexpected sides and do not fit the most stereotypical image.

If you like your girlfriend, if she makes you happy and makes you feel loved, she deserves your willingness to explore what exactly this means for HER. What place this event took in her life and in her eyes. Once you have an open conversation about this, you can see whether you can imagine what things look like from her perspective and whether you can respect that.

>>17682566
No problem at all, I feel for you and hope the best as well. Don't forget to hold on to all the voicemails as well.

>>17682565
I read that is the main reason women usually dont make the first move either.

>>17682589
Eh, it's no doubt part of the reason but it's also just scary as fuck to put yourself out there and women have the comfortable option of not going there in the first place. No one likes rejection and a woman can more easily than a guy in the same position convince herself that "if he liked her, he would've made a move already".

>>17682518
Someone?

>>17682596
Dude, you're the guy who posted last time when I told you to just give her your number already, right?

Yeah, she was hinting. Not even that subtly.

>>17682600
First time on this board

>>17682596
Sounds like she wanted you to ask her out for friday.

I was fucking this girl for like the 3rd time known her for a couple months and while we were going at it she said she loved me, I just kinda acted like I didn't hear it.

Wtf am I supposed to do when she does that were not even really a thing yet?

Caught me off guard

>>17682608
Huh, that's a coincidence, it was the exact same story (friend humoring him by telling the girl he/you thought she was cute).

Either way, yeah, no one is dumb enough to go on about their day off in front of someone they know think they're cute if they have zero interest themselves.

>>17682617
Sit her down afterwards and ask her whether she meant that. If so, act accordingly. If you don't see yourself with her, tell her that in that case you want to break it off before hurting her more than you already will by doing that. If yes, tell her you feel touched but are not quite there yet although you think she's [positive stuff you think/feel about her] and whether that's alright with her.

>>17682593
I suppose you are right.

>>17682581
Thank you!

I think it was more about her decision to do it (the complete opposite of what her society and parents "taught" her). Having rebelled a bit myself I understand this behaviour but because xtc is still viewed as badbadbad it feels weird that she would try it.

There'll only be a small residu of questions left though after we actually talk about it. I'm sure she's not an idiot and it wasn't an in the moment thing out of impulse. If all goes well I'd be willing to try it with her to see what it's actually like.

Thanks for your time btw :)

>>17682638
I don't know what it's like where you live (I'm in mainland Western Europe), but over here xtc is quite popular and many people do not realize that it's actually a fairly intense drug. You can become mentally dependent on the euphoria feeling to the point where you use it so often that you become depressed, and there can go plenty of things wrong from dehydration to drinking too much to avoid dehydration, even occasional mysterious deaths. Yet xtc is very popular among young people and typically they do not realize what they sign up for. Someone tells them that it's a pill that makes you want to hug everyone and dance (true), that doesn't last forever and is not physically addictive. Sounds good. No creepy injecting or snorting going on. "Normal" people take it on a special night out.

That's not to defend not informing yourself about the risks and precautions involved in the drug you want to take - not at all. I am merely saying that it is very well possible that the image you have of this right now, is not at all what she thought she was going to do before taking it. Maybe it's human psychology but at the end of the day, even regardless of search engines people tend to trust the descriptions of more experienced friends, that are way too often incomplete and anecdotal.

Either way, try to keep an open mind but also respect your own feelings on this. You are allowed your own point of view and your own judgment of what this says about her after hearing her out. Just don't worry too much about what she did or did not think before hearing it from her personally - that's what you want to base any decision or conclusion on, not what random other people tell you. I hope it works out for you and best of luck! If this conversation clears the air between you and makes you feel on the same page, a great bonus is that it gives a solid foundation for future discussions. And communication is the #1 weapon you have against anything threat to your relationship.

>>17682558
turk here. ecstasy is actually quite common if she lived in istanbul. i mean not many people use it, but i can probably find it in a matter of days jjust from my limited "friend" circle if i really wanted to. i don't think it means much. ecstasy is seen as just above weed here, something that just makes you happy for a few hours and you take it when you are going clubbing or something like that.
now, if she did other stuff, like cocaine etc, i would be worried.

>>17682657
I'm Belgian myself and a lot of my friends do ecstacy, but it just makes me worry about her circle of friends and her decision-making more than the actual drug itself.

Again, we haven't really discussed about this enough for me to draw any conclusions so I will not let my thoughts and fears materialize. Your advice was very sound and understanding so thank you.

>>17682664
She's from Istanbul yes. Here in Belgium where I'm from, yes, a village in an already sheltered country, it's very looked down upon. Weed is the limit for many young men and then the % of people willing to take more drops down hard.

Again it's a matter of sentiment here and it being totally new. My ex girlfriend was veeeery conservative and didn't even touch alcohol so this might just be the contrast making me squint my eyes too much to see her POV (which i don't know yet, since I didn't ask).

Long story short. I catfished a girl with an Instagram model and now she wants to meet and have a fuckbuddy relationship. Even if I could I wouldn't want to do it but how do I break things off without hurting her?

What would you do if your ex, that you still have some feeling for, told you she/he is still in love with you after a year?

>>17682776
Why did you catfish if you did not want to hurt her?

A coworker set me up on a date with her sister, and I'm mortified by the prospect. I'm honestly paranoid that the whole situation is some sort of set up to make a fool of me. The prospect of having sex with her scares me because I don't have much experience and I know it's just going to be something I'm going to get made fun of for.

What do I even do? I don't know how to overcome my fear because it's based off a lot of past events where people have tried to make a fool of me and succeeded.

>>17682776
Nigga why did you post a separate thread for this and come shit up this thread?

>>17682786
Honest answer: be thrilled that at least finally he was willing to talk like adults about the emotional side of what went on between us when things ended. And I can't really answer how I'd feel about it, too weird/unlikely for me to imagine happening I guess, but I wouldn't be scared off or anything. I do miss him.

But obviously it's hard to say without knowing your specific situation and the people involved. What's going on in his/her life? Eg if she recently tried out following something with another guy, it's a pretty huge dick move, especially if it was your incentive to tell her/him. Or if they specifically told you that you're bad for them and they need time away from you... you get the idea. Try to put yourself in their shoes.

>>17682848
>>17682848
By far the main reason why people are bad lovers is being selfish or crippled by nerves/hatred/whatever in bed. If you are willing to bring your enthusiasm and your honest involvement to making the other person feel good or even loved, and to pay attention to the signs they give you for what they (dis)like, there isn't that much you can do wrong. Sure it's scary to be naked in front of another person, but that's also part of the beauty of it, the vulnerability of hiding nothing about yourself. The overt attention for the way you just are all by yourself.
And not all women have the same expectations. I think the idea of blowing an inexperienced guy's mind is really hot. Just saying. I know I am not the only one in my female friend clique either.

As for being afraid that they laugh at you: try to remember this. As embarrassing as it would be if they did something like that - how poorly does it reflect upon your character to be made into the punchline of some mean, unfunny joke, versus them pulling a cruel little bitch stunt?

>>17682886
>>17682886

I am working towards getting away from modern society and living off the land. I want to escape the cities and modern "entertainment". Are there ladies that find this an attractive idea?

>>17682786
Turn and run. It ended for a reason. It feels like it will be such a beautiful moment, but it won't

Everyone,

>Go have a coffee with mom after going with her for her medical exams
>Waitress comes
>Holy shit she's cute
>Try to look to her in the least obvious way
>Hours later
>"Ya know? She was cute"
>"I know. Next time you should be less obvious!"

Did I do something wrong here??

>>17680326
Because every guy believes penis size makes girls orgasam. Society has made everyone believe that blacks automatically have biggest penis

>>17683325
Obviously you weren't subtle. We don't have much to go off of.