How to get over retroactive jealousy? It's really killing me man.

Monitoring as I need to develop this skill.

>>17677365
bump

the fuck is retroactive jealousy?

>>17677365
Just remember that the past is the past?

>>17677513
Googled it cos i was curious too,

>refers to constant–often obsessive–painful thoughts and curiosity regarding a partner's past relationships and/or sexual history.

As for op and the lurkers,

Honestly for me, i just don't care - you need to understand what's in the past is in the past and you start from the day you go official.

>>17677365

realize that she was only with those other guys because she didn't know you existed, or that she did know you existed but didn't know how cool and awsome you actually were. Because that's how the world works, right?

let go of your ego, pham

>>17677532
>So shes supposed to have tons of previous partners and that doesn't even bother you
>You are just one man standing in a long line
>right now you might be at the front of the line... but the longer the line gets the less likely you are to keep your position for any length of time

>>17677549
Dude why does this bug you so much fucking hell, must be heavy carrying around that ego of yours.

Or are you just in-secure.

>>17677555
Why would it bug you to literally be a "bug"??
An unwanted, unnecessary nuisance, how is that an overactive ego? If you aren't the most favored/loved by someone then someone else must fill that void.

And In-secure, why not? How can you be secure when every love that you ever may have had has dealt a great deal of crap your way. Usually ending in a shocking manner that is unexpected and leaves you with an emptiness where the bit of trust and love you had used to be.

>>17677549

who cares about the chumps behind you in line? cuck them

once you begin to get so needy that you're anxious about how much longer the relationship will last, it starts a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've had a couple of times where everything was going great with the girl and she suddenly became anxious that I was going to break up with her, that her insecurity and anxiety just turned me off from her

>>17677575

i lost you after about the 2nd sentence bruh

>>17677586
This anon just doesn't get our thinking to be honest.

This is exactly why I want to find a girl who's a virgin like me. I know that isn't possible in this day and age though, since every fucking woman loses it by like age 12. So i've just given up and decided to bang whatever whore comes my way first.

>>17677631

I know this 10/10 that just lost her virgnity to her husband (shes super christian)

I also know a 6/10, same story, but she's muslim

If you want those virgins, become religious

me, I don't see the appeal to virgins. Why go out of your way to hire someone with zero experience?

>>17677648
>Why go out of your way to hire someone with zero experience?

This is exactly what this thread is about. Having a lover that has never loved before makes you feel like their yours and yours alone. Being with someone who isn't a virgin gives you feelings that their used-goods that's just passing by in your life. It's very selfish and petty, I know, but it's how some people think. Me included.

>>17677673

i guess its based on how you view sex

I see sex as this kind of dance/exercise you perform with someone that involves using your genitals in some way to stimulate your body to eventually reach orgasm. It's no different than any other 1 on 1 activity like dancing, playing chess, studying together, etc. Except sex has a bunch of arbitrary social rules surounding it like "you must do it in a private setting" and "you shouldnt do it with your friend's gfs/wives"

its like getting jealous about your gf holding a door open for a random guy one time 3 years ago

File: 1476642804557.gif (1MB, 370x288px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 370x288px

>>17677706
Sex is the closest people can get to each other. It's how they become one, like a sacred ritual.

I actually realized i'm probably a complete fag by saying that out loud, just disregard that.

>>17677716

I see what you mean, and yeah you are kind of a fag. But don't confuse sex with love. Theyre separate things.

>>17677365
Hey man I had this really badly with my last relationship. Maybe you can relate to my experience.

Basically, I had serial relationships with people I didn't like in college, but I felt trapped and just kinda... went along with the ride until I graduated. Spent all of college joined at the hip with shitty controlling women, basically. She, this girl I ended up with, went to school with me, had some hookups but no relationships. We met right before graduation, it was awesome because she had always been my crush and "the one that got away" and then we found each other last minute and fucked. I was so infatuated with her, and in many ways we were great together. Then somehow the "how many partners" talk comes up lightheartedly and I tell her and she's like "haha wow I have so many more" and long story short I thought it was a huge amount like 30-40 because I was on /r9k/ a lot back then and she was honestly pretty hot on a sexually active campus; turned out it was only 11 (to my 6), so that softened the blow somewhat. But, I was still so jealous, so goddamn frustrated that she had gotten to decide who to have sex with and kind of play around when I kind of just got played throughout what're always made out to be the only age you'll get to experiment sexually (false, but a huge neurosis for a lot of the 25+ crowd I think). I started to feel so trapped, by my serial monogamy and this feeling like she was getting the better end of the deal than me. And, frankly, I think it's more legitimate than a lot of people acknowledge. Especially if you're inexperienced. It becomes a huge power dynamic if your partner is way more experienced than you, and a lot of people only have to offer "the past is the past bro" or "MAN UP YOU SLUT SHAMING VIRGIN." I think you deserve to feel confident in your sexuality, and though nobody owes you that it's legitimate to feel uncomfortable in a relationship with that dynamic. But, you need to decide how important that is to you.

>cont

>>17677673

You know, for a lot of people, being a virgin can be a sign of a lack of confidence or lack of development. I wager that a majority of people are rather understanding that their partner will have loved before, it's a rather necessary condition of life.

I wouldn't maybe have thought so much so, until a 25 year old virgin girl has been chasing me. I can't really describe the feeling but it's incredibly creepy. I can tell, simply from the light interactions we've had, that my life would be a nightmare were I to be with her.

Okay, so it's largely in spite of and not because of her virginity, but really I'm just trying to explain that, if you need someone that is 'yours and yours alone' you're rather lacking in self-confidence. You like who you like and accept them completely, or you like what you like and you reject those that don't fit the box.

>>17677943
>cont.

The thing is there are many types of experience. Technically, I had had more sex than her by a long shot. I sure as shit was better at it, she came every time, was her first for a lot of positions and other things, she couldn't suck dick for shit etc. She was used to drunken hookups with bottom of the barrel guys every once in a while over a four year period whereas I had been fucking almost daily for six. There was also just seeing all these parts of her, realizing that she was emotionally less mature than me, realizing that she had never been in a serious relationship before or had a lot of the life experience I had, I just kind of realized this phase in her life was a really sad one of reaching out for companionship with convenient sexuality. This thing that I kept feeling I'd missed out on was really a desperate orgy of people trying to feel validated, trying to stumble into love hoping that letting someone fuck you made them like you. In the end I got over it by kinda realizing that I pitied her more than envied her.

I got over it, but it took a while. You just have to realize that there's more to the story than your idea of her past.

We did break up in the end. There were some other big problems in our relationship that she wasn't doing her part to fix (she just didn't communicate clearly and I started to feel so goddamn alone). But it feels a lot better to have broken up with her for legit reasons than this shitty jealousy. To be honest, I've now been single for the first decent stretch of time in my adult life, and it is really important for me to get some more sexual experiences mostly because I finally feel confident to experiment casually and also I don't ever want to have to overcome this complex again with someone. But, in the end our relationship would've survived it, had we not had other problems. I guess I just encourage you to search your soul, find out why you feel this way, how rational it is and how important it is to you.

>>17677760
Man i tried that shit but wasnt for me. I couldnt fuck someone i didn't care for. Everytime it was like better masturbation. I dont shit on people for it but personally fucking someone just for the sake of fucking i couldnt respect. Like a sentient fleshlight with a body attached.

>>17677365
Protip: don't be a cuck.