Introverted and/or Antisocial

It's completely stupid to compare yourself to people who didn't had any kind of relationship or friendship for YEARS. Of course you won't feel the same void, it's like you are eating icecream every day you would think I could go on living without ever touching icecream, but if you offer some to an african kid they would go nuts over it, since they maybe never ate such things in their whole life and may were starving for ages... holy fuck the stupidity...

>>17674630

It doesn't really matter man, you are you, and you said so yourself you would be happy alone, keyword happy. As long as none of this is causing damage to your loved ones then it doesn't matter.

>>17674671
This. People here are on a deeper level of introversion than you. Pretty much just coming out of their shells. Youre having anti social issues which are nothing to laugh at and need to be addressed but a lot of the posts here come from people with much deeper issues.

I used to mentally pre-plan out how every social outing might go until about highschool and rarely hung out with the few friends I had afterwards. Id go straight home, hop on the computer, wait for them to get on, and if not I would feel a bit sad and play alone.

you are just too comfortable. Like when I was in college and my dad called me twice a day every day, and sometimes I was just avoiding the call or pretended I was busy. But after he didn't call me for 3 days I went crazy, and were calling him constantly till he picked up the phone. Avoid everyone in your life, move in a van and let's see how it will turn out, best of luck OP

I understand where OP is coming from. Like I'm attractive, I have people who want to date me, and can fake being social, but I have no desire to. Most of the time, I'd rather be alone. I have "friends" who I do [hobby] with but that's it, I'm not attached to them at all. Being around people is exhausting, and I'm happier alone.

I feel obligated to get an SO, but honestly I just don't want to. Seeing some other person that much is exhausting and I have things I want to do in life that an SO would object to. I don't want a family and hate kids anyway. I mean, maybe when I'm in my 30s or 40s I will want to "settle down" but at the moment I have no desire to. It's not even that I'm being a player, I would just honestly rather live the dream than do the whole SO and corporate job shit. From what I've seen, having an SO doesn't guarantee happiness or that you'll stay together, anyway. Much of the time it complicates things. I've dated a LOT of people and never liked any of them. I just don't have whatever people feel towards other people. I have zero attachment. Maybe to describe it, it's like being color blind, and you just cannot get what other people see no matter how hard you try. Or like being hearing impaired and having other people say you NEED to appreciate music when you just don't have the physical function to. I've been in relationships, I was just faking it the whole time. I think society needs to recognize some people just don't have that social impulse.

>>17674695

I don't think so. I regularly go two or three months with no contact from my parents and even then only contact or be contacted to keep up appearances, I live in another state now. Even if we talk, what about? There isn't anything that needs to be said. I never understood what people feel towards their parents. They're people I've spent a lot of time with, but hell we don't even know each other well. I've always kept to myself.

>>17674671
I disagree, as I believe I fall into the group of people you're describing. I didn't date anyone until I was 25, and my friend group has always consisted of 1 or 2 people who I talk to at work/school and then not at all anywhere else. I'd argue that I understand isolation to an extent, and enjoy it, and wish for more of it. If I'd wanted multitudes of friends or girlfriends I could have made the effort to obtain them, but I just never have by choice. Met my current girlfriend completely by chance online, I was not looking to date anyone.

>>17674675
Thanks anon. Whenever I've looked for advice on forums or mental health websites, they typically say to socialize more. Just plain doing what makes you happy makes more sense.

>>17674685
I used to do that too, and that's a big part of why I stopped going out. It was just too tiring to make that effort to do this supposedly "fun" thing, that I ultimately didn't enjoy. But I do understand that my anxiety issues are probably small compared to a lot of people.

And that's the thing. What I'm wondering is if there are other people who are at that level of introversion, who are happy like that. Most of what I have seen is very introverted people that can't accept that they are, and are forcing themselves to be extroverted. But for what purpose? Why not stay in your shell if that's what you're good at/feels comfortable/makes you happy? It just doesn't make sense to me.

>>17674736
You're the type of person I was wondering about. Why do you feel this obligation to get an SO? I realised when I was young that lots of guys have this feeling, so I just rejected it, and accepted that I'd never date or marry. I never searched it out, I never hit on girls, I just focused on school and work. It didn't bother me. Eventually it just sort of ended up happening, and only because she's someone that doesn't exhaust me like other people do, for some reason. But I know I was fine without an SO.

Is it pressure from family? Friends? Or just a societal, "in my head" type thing? Because I've never felt pressured into dating, so I just don't understand feeling obligated.

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>>17675338
I think a big factor is that these people have never been in a relationship and that they are unhappy. They look around at all the normies being seemingly happy, they feel the natural urge for warmth and sex from a fellow human beings and conclude that a relationship is the thing which will solve the unhappiness. Kinda "If only I could get a girlfriend that I could cuddle every night, then I would be happy", and this may be correct for many of them. For me personally, I don't mind being single that much, but sometimes I crave having a person who acts as a safe haven and deliverer of physical affection who I can be truly myself to and where I don't need to hide all my wishes, insecurities, issues and problems, like most of us probably do in virtually all social interaction.
People who have actually been in a relationship and had sex and so on know that it isn't this magical sauce which fills the void. For most, it's probably a prerequisite for happiness, but it's not a guarantee.

>>17675675
That's really insightful anon, and answers exactly what I was wondering. Thanks.

>>17675338

Well I've had boyfriends, I just felt nothing for them, they were kind of annoying. Generally I guess I have social/familial pressure to get a husband, it's also nice to have a guy as they're useful and good for sex. Sometimes I look at guys and think, "I wish I had a boyfriend," but most of the time I think I'm better off single. A guy would limit me. I'm a little...adventurous? Most normies can't handle it, they want the standard house and picket fence shit.

I guess because if you're like 30, 40 and still don't have a husband, you're a "failure." thing is I could get one, I just...I'm not even actively trying to date right now. I turn everyone down pretty much. I'm not even one of those party and cock carousel ones, I'd just rather be alone and do my own shit.

>>17675675
thanks for that asnwer