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Anonymous
I dislike my own mother 2016-10-15 21:13:22 Post No. 17672886
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I dislike my own mother 2016-10-15 21:13:22 Post No. 17672886
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She is old, fat, out of touch with how things work in modern times, she bitches about the slightest shit, constantly criticizes me and ridicules me, we don't have anything in common, we never do anything together, we even oppose each other politically
When I try to ask myself if I love her I always come back with "not really"
I used to like her a lot and when I was really young I basically adored her, but as time has gone on and the older I've gotten I've just grown to dislike her more and more
Plus she is a let down as a parent, she complains about her dad only doing the bare minimum to provide but never really caring about them that much, but she allowed me to be put into special ed from the time I was in 1st grade instead of making me socialize and act normal. All it took was the doctors going "autism" and instead of people bending over backwards to whip my ass into shape and FORCE me to integrate and assimilate they just went "oh just further isolate him and throw him in with a bunch of OCD's multiple personality disorder people and severely autistic people lol" (I was always on the end that was pretty close to normal but not quite)
I really think being in special ed fucked me up bad, I was in it from age 6 to age 13 basically, and I missed out on a lot of developmental stuff and was totally unprepared for highschool, then they allowed me to do all my classes online and basically go full NEET other than a bit of online school work, which is how I lived from 15 to 18
Now a little over a year now I've been at college and yeah I'm finally not obese, I finally dress good, bathe and do all that hygiene stuff constantly, I've been to parties, hung out with people, gone to class, made some friends, etc etc
But I missed out on so much, and all of what I'm doing now is such a struggle, and if it weren't for her being so incompetent none of this would have happened anyways
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If it makes you feel any better about your own shortcomings, cut her off and improve both of your lives. Having no child has got to be better than having a child like you.
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>>17672886
Muh spilt milk!
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>inb4 what about your dad where is he in all of this
He ran off when I was like 6 or something and my mom went full retard and allowed him to come back when I was like 11 and he has been a dead beat NEET ever since
He never taught me shit about shit, never taught me how to be masculine or how to get girls or anything, all he has ever done is make tiny little token amounts of money via selling random shit he fixes up like parts and stuff
Ironically I actually have a pretty alright relationship with him in modern times, it could even be called pleasant, we get along alright and we share the same views on a lot of stuff, plus he never bitches about anything I say or do and I think he probably has a lot of regret over what happened in the past
My mom is just sort of a cunt though honestly
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>>17672889
t. OP's mother
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nice blog, how do I subscribe?
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Oh and she allowed me to get fat, she bought and fed me the food and drinks that made me fat
She let me dress like chris chan, she let me not play sports, she bought me the video games that made me a shut in
She should have sent me to military school before letting me live like that
She never put me into speech therapy or social therapy, never told me I was being a little faggot and needed to harden up (in nicer words and geared towards a kid) , etc etc
She was shit tier parent and literally the only thing I can think of that she did that was worth anything was providing me with a place to live and food to eat
But maybe it would have been better if she didn't even do that so that I could have been put into a foster home, maybe they would have whipped me into shape
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>>17672927
From this point onward realize that the degree to which you blame your parents for the way you are is the degree to which you are be mentally ill.
Do you want to be mentally ill?
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>>17672886
>>17672892
I think ur parents fucked up bad
Im 18 and kind of feel similar to you,
My parents fought all the fucking time when i was a kid and fucked up my mental. I was fat and sad, self loathing faggot as a kid. Scar forever. When my dad fucking died i did cried and everything but was actually feeling more peaceful than ever the next day. I still feel wonderful that he died.
I hope my mum dies too and leave me all her money. I feel thats the only way my scar will heal. She love me much and care about me, pay my tuition, but the thought that she fucked up my brain and made me fucking needy and miserable... Its unbearable
missing out all the fun in adolescent years sucks. I make up for it now by going to party every week and abusing drugs and act fucking dumb but you cant go back in time. its really all about that scar i guess. Bad parents fuck you up real bad man really fuck them
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>>17672952
>missing out all the fun in adolescent years sucks. I make up for it now by going to party every week and abusing drugs and act fucking dumb but you cant go back in time
It's so true, I missed out on all the crazy fun shit kids and tweens and teens do
At college yeah parties exist and I've been to them, even done some shots and smoked a bit of pot, but its not the same
People are so caught up with school work or jobs, and even when they are free its a lot harder to socialize and organize and shit
In public school its 6.5 hours 5 days a week for 10 months at a time, that you are forced to be around these people constantly
Socialization is basically thrown at you
Now its an effort just to get a guy to go get a slice of pizza with you
Unless your in a frat college is not "woooh party lets have a blast" time at all, and at my college even the frats aren't all that, they are really small and there is no greek row
Maybe if I had gone to more of a party school things would be different, but I'm stuck here now and plus even if I had gone somewhere else it still would have taken like a full year to unfuck myself and even now I'm only like 3/4 there
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>>17672886
As someone who has a manipulating cunt of a mother, sometimes you just have to realize that blood means very little. It also is good to understand that sometimes for your own sanity, you have to cut out things that are not good for your mental state.
You need to accept the path your life had early on and move on. You can't tether yourself to blood, or to regret. You've improved upon yourself, and you should be happy with your progress.
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Blame your tsunami of social shortcomings on your mother. What an Awesome solution to overcoming life's obstacles.
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