Being honest with hook ups

>>17670465
You did everything right. You were honest & upfront about what kind of relationship you're looking for with her. It wasn't what she wanted to hear, but I guarantee you it would have hurt her more in the long run had you been dishonest & fucked her.

>>17670477
>had you been dishonest & fucked her.

Which it had been before. I feel guilty about it but I hope its something she learns from to.

I really didnt know what I was doing and felt that we could just do the things we did with no feelings. I guess this goes to show I need male friends.

>>17670508
Sorry, my bad, I hadn't read your post carefully.

I still think you're fine though. When you start dating a new partner, you shouldn't assume exclusivity. I mean, if you had wanted to be totally upfront and bring it up yourself before having sex with her the first time, that would have been extra-careful and good of you, but that fact that you didn't isn't a problem.

>felt that we could just do the things we did with no feelings
That is... look, it's POSSIBLE but super difficult and rare. We're biologically wired to grow affectionate with people we have sex with. A frank discussion is always a good idea if you don't know where you stand.

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>>17670465

You knew she had feelings for you. You knew she would be upset if she found out you were fucking other people. You didn't tell her about your intentions on dating other people in the beginning because you knew if you did she wouldn't have sex with you.

By the book you did everything right but its also correct to feel weird about it. There was an unspoken thing going on that you didn't address because it benefited you to leave it in the dark.

Let this be a learning experience. Be honest even if it means you won't get to have sex. You kind of played her but I don't think it makes you a bad person, just young and dumb. We've all been there.

>>17670571
>>17670465

>But at the same time I feel like there was something "truthful"/"good" in what I had done..

Also, don't pat yourself on the back for this. Being truthful eventually and being truthful aren't the same thing. I know its normal for guys to sort of play out the unspoken exclusivity thing as long as they can for the purpose of sex and, to be fair, its not necessarily fair for her to blow up over an aspect of the relationship neither of you had attempted to clarify but don't give yourself a gold star because you kind of knew what you were doing when you avoided telling her about the other girls.

Withholding information is still a form of lying. Like I said, I don't think you consciously attempted to hurt this girl but through a series of selfish choices you just didn't do anything to stop it. You're not evil or shitty you're just young. Its a completely normal adolescent thing that you will eventually learn your lesson about.