sperglord/autist recovery thread

>>17670123
25 yo virgin
I made myself from a sperg into someone you may actually mistake for a "chad" - yet I've never been laid despite having alarge number of oppurtunities. I think the reasons for that were my masturbation and weed smoking habits as - since I've stopped both I went from occasional bouts of self-hatred to it torturing me every waking minute. I also stuck to my mom during my puberty years, when normal people start to look for other girls. Only stopped talking to her every day during the past weeks.
How do I find a girl to fuck? When I didn't give a fuck, they just kinda fell into my lap - but I never did a thing. Will this just solve itself by grabbing my balls once the next opportunity comes around?
Being a horny teenager at the age of 25 is sadly a massive turn-off to most girls.

>>17670692

It sounds like the problem is not with your ability to find women but with your self-esteem. I think you may have this idea in your head that being able to bed a girl will be the final bit of validation you need to feel good about yourself but thats really not the case.

It sounds like you're afraid. Its okay to be afraid but the key to healthy relationships, or even just the ability to hook up and feel okay about it is a steady sense of self.

There was a time in my life when I finally started hooking up with girls and if I came home and I couldn't pick a girl up I felt terrible and rejected because I felt no girl wanted me. If I WAS able to pick up a girl she would get dressed the next morning and leave and I would feel terrible and rejected because I felt like a used piece of meat. I thought sex was the missing piece to my life and I realized later on that obtaining it only made me feel worse.

I think you should focus less on trying to find a girl to fuck and focus more on building your self esteem. I had great success with therapy, personally. A healthy sex life should be the symptom of a healthy personal life, not the key to it. Even if you manage to get a steady stream of sex it won't ever develop into an affectionate relationship if you hate yourself.

>>17670738
You're right. Very. But I'm in the process of removing my remaining problems right now - stopped the stuff staed in my post, started lifting and will start dancing salsa and playing rugby next week, also still improving my social skills. But aside that virginity thing? Stuff said above wasn't the only reason I ignored girls for so long. I genuinely felt happy about what I've achieved so far - more good friends than I can count on both hands, and active social life, the ability to talk to people from all walks of life, to fight and win. I traveled the world, worked ,advanced and prospered in places where I speak a single word of the language.
true, i only git rid of my vices and started changing my lifestly a few weeks ago - but I was at least content before.
Me being a virgin - that was couriously the thing that set me on my path all those years back, and is still the only thing what can make me feel below others.
It irks me more than anything else that I can't do it despite laboring for over a decade to become the man I always wanted to be - and even succeeded!

>>17670819
Alright - that post was garbled and badly written.
In short: I already managed what you said - to stop thinking about it, imporve my life and gain a steady sense of self. But now that I've stopped masturbating and feel a genuine desire for girls for the first time since puberty , all that just came back and hit me like a sledgehammer. It's just like the last missing piece of this puzzle I worked all my life to complete.

>>17670738
Anyway - I'm going to bed now. Been a long night over here. And I think you're right - I think first of all I need to feel as good about myself again as I did when I had no desire. It's just been kinda overwhelming me the past weeks. I even look differently at girls now when I lock eyes with them. Fells like I gained a new bodypart , and a new sensory organ to boot - slowly and painfully waking up after being cut off from circulation for so long.
Thanks for your help.

I've never really gotten a lot of positive attention from women. This causes a feedback loop, where I'm much more willing to accept a woman acting shitty because it's that or nothing basically. This has resulted in a lot of "friendships" where the woman will only chat me up when it's convenient for her, consistently flakes on me, shit like that.

Trying to build up distance from those people, but now I'm basically back to where I started. I have guy friends that I'm trying to fall back on, but it's still not the same especially considering the fact many if not most of them are in my same position. It's a difficult cycle to break and not really sure how to move forward.