Here's the thread you needed.

There's an old photo from 3 years ago on a former friend (more like frienemy) posted on another former friends fb wall. It was 'banter' and didn't offend me at the time but now would like it gone. Especially with the 'on this day' feature facebook has now I'm paranoid it will be shared again (one of the former friends constantly 're-shares' the on this day stuff).

Would it be petty to ask for it to be removed all these years later? I feel weird asking especially considering I don't talk to either of them anymore. Should I report the photo to be taken down? Does it notify them that it was reported and does fb generally take down things you report?

I'm not sure how to go about it but would really like the photo removed but I'd almost feel embarrassed asking people I don't speak to anymore to take it down. What would be my best option? Its really been bugging me and I know I've blown it into something way bigger than what it is

I got an Aneros Helix Syn, and again attempted to have a prostate orgasm (or at the very least pleasure), but to no avail. Nothing.

Worse, it seems anal stuff occasionally, after orgasm, makes me feel awful physically. Nausea, headache, eyes don't feel like they're focusing quite right, feel mentally sloppy and dulled, etc. It's very strange. All the mechanical causes I can think of don't quite make sense. Perhaps it's psychogenic, I don't know. Occasionally I will get post-orgasm headaches regardless.

So it's 4 am, I wasted my time (again), only got a net negative out of it.

I don't think my total lifespan will be longer than 40 - 50 years. I don't have a cliche drive to "make the most of every day", but perhaps I should be focusing more heavily on other things. I wouldn't mind too much if I got killed off soon, most of me doesn't want to be alive. I'm a broken mess that will probably never feel any kind of real fulfillment.

Hey, Albert Perez, what the fuck was with that power outage you caused earlier. I know you're a black hat hacker and all and you watch me through hidden spy cameras. But seriously, shouldn't you be out drinking large quantities of beer or some other alcohol. I mean, you really need that to hang out at the bar or at the nightclub, because all that work you do at Esprit, I mean I've seen some of hard shit that you have to do over there, it's makes people feel like crap because they can't do the same work you do and get paid minimum wage. Oh, wait, you probably got a raise working at Esprit, right? Fuck you and fuck off, you drunken alcoholic. Oh wait, what's that you're trying to say? I'm getting fat because I eat too much Cheerios and sweets. At least you've got a great vegan diet that you adhere to, and you follow it quite religiously. Here's hoping you stay on that vegan diet and never go off it, I mean, I hear you can get seriously sick from parasites in meat and animal organs like the omnivores who have to eat animal proteins and animal fat.

This pressure on me isn't fair.

You happened to sit next to me yesterday and that's when I realized.

I want to SWALLOW, yes, SWALLOW, your dick.

>>17668858
What pressure, anon?

>>17668871
You know what pressure

Wanna pound your ass if I am being quite honest

My purpose in life is to be ridiculed. I exist purely so others can look at me to feel better about themselves.

>>17668862
The fact that you are too nervous to tell him that tells me that you are fat and ugly. Is this guy particularly special or are you just really desperate for male attention?

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Why am I always a second consideration?
I've been told I'm a solid 8/10, funny, intelligent, engaging.
Is it just bad luck? Is there something inadvertently wrong with me?
There's always someone better than me but why am I surrounded by them?

There's this guy that's probably my crush's boyfriend or at least way too close to her. I want him gone. It hurts seeing them together every fucking day. I don't care if he's (allegedly) a good guy and I'm a complete trainwreck, I want him gone.

>>17669091
And you can't understand what makes him so special or better than you and it infuriates you to absolutely no end you want gouge your own eyes out?

>>17668314
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_petite_mort

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_headache

>>17668288
Just straight up ask him to remove it. There's nothing wrong with doing so.

>>17669113
Somewhat, yah. Well, he's a few years younger than me and about her age, and he's sort of charismatic sometimes, but sometimes pretty childish. He makes her laugh with the silly stuff he says and does.

>>17669154
Where do you feel like you come up short?

>>17669171
Good question. I used to be worried about how my life has not really been on its right tracks in the last few years, especially since I'm older than her. But desu neither is his because he's currently a NEET (but that's acceptable at his age I guess).
I don't know why they get along so well and laugh so much when they are together. I feel like I'm less fun and maybe too serious lately. Maybe he's more fun to be around somehow.
There was a time when the girl and I would randomly stare at each other for a while and laugh. And we got along good. But she once suddenly turned colder to me and we barely hold conversations now. She seems to be like that with me alone, although she's a bit reserved and awkward in general. I think she concsiously pushes me away like that but Idk if I should ask her about it or I'm being paranoid.
I'd think she has known the guy for longer than me but probably not. I have a few things in common with her but maybe not enough.
And Idk about looks, I don't want to judge the guy but as for myself I feel like I look alright, at least from my own view. The guy has a different style, he dresses more swaggy.

I pissed someone off and I'm pretty sure that they've blocked my phone number and blocked me on social media platforms. Is writing a letter to apologize appropriate? I would prefer in person but have no way of doing that since I'm blocked.

So, I was stupid enough to buy into the marriage meme. Worse, I married a woman I don't love.
Chronology:
>Have first gf, relationship lasts 8 years
>she breaks up (last 2 years had been shaky, so it wasn't super hard to deal with)
>1 month later start looking around on tinder
>meet someone, fuck, fuck again, a year later we're married.

My wife was a complete slut before we met and it's obvious that no one was interested in her beyond her pussy. While I think that is disgusting, it has nothing really to do with the fact that I don't love her. And I strongly suspect she doesn't love me either. We've been married for a few months now and it's painfully obvious. We live more like room mates with the exception that neither of us gets to hit on other chicks/dudes and we're kind of forced to say 'I love you to' to each other to keep it from becoming even more awkward.

To make matters worse, I'm financially dependent on her, at least for next ~12 years until I get some shit sorted out and a new job.

I am deeply ashamed of myself. I made a terrible, terrible mistake and a complete jackass out of myself.
She also has a drinking problem (that I was sort of oblivious to) and acts like an entitled bitch. She's ugly, too. She does have some qualities, but generally speaking, I don't love her and I certainly do not want children with that woman, ever. I also still miss my ex girlfriend, as stupid and ignorant as she was, but she was the love of my life and the kindest person that I had ever met.

There, I said it. Fuck you all.

>>17669252
>12 years
I meant 12 months

>>17669066

>"Hi, it's Anonette. Do you know what the professor means by when he says 'x'? Also, may I swallow your dick?"

hmm

>>17669252
Divorce her and take half before you get a better job and start earning more than her.

>>17669252
This is a sad story.

I always wonder how marriage goes so horribly wrong.
Why did you get married in the first place??

Pretty down on myself today...i'm just really confused. I don't know if im even living life. I make friends easily but I feel like i'm such a boring person, i'm a straight edge and partying makes me uncomfortable, I have a girlfriend but we never really party or go out that much (granted at least were still both 20)
I prefer to be alone most of the time and I dont know why, i'm in school for physical therapy, which is cool and i really find it
interesting because I am really intereted in the human body, but I don't know if I want that "linear" life of get a job, get a house, start a family..... honestly as silly as it sounds I would love a life like josh gates..traveling the world and pursuing legends and archeaology, I keep telling myself I can do both but I don't know how
Just one of those days I guess, I don't know what to do, maybe i'm meant to be boring and have a linear life

>>17669252
I can relate. I fucked up too Op, and tried to pick up in a newly formed relationship where it had ended with the woman I actually loved. Took her to the same places that I had good times with my ex, and decided she would love me like my ex did which in turn would increase my feelings or so I thought.

Fucked up by doing that to begin with, and then after becoming engaged it really set in, but I went on with it anyway. She had a history of clubbing and partying, but I overlooked it because she seemed to have it together. She also had this girl next door feel to her and I thought because she was so blunt/plain she was unique and as bad this will sound, was low risk due to her looks. That was one of my unjustified insecurities. Found out she is horrible with money and I did not find that out until a few years in. Basically even though I provide everything she owns me without going into the rest of the details.

Pro-tip for newly single guys: never marry a rebound when you still hold the feels for someone else, and do not expect the feel to be the same or even mutual. Also, never get married in less than two years to a stranger. Stranger meaning no strings prior to the relationship, or knowing the person as a friend or colleague previously.

>>17668270
If the right opportunity presented itself, I'd cheat on my partner. In fact, I'd welcome it. Honestly, I'd end it right now, but we have kids.

>Start talking to girl in class a lot
>Got all her socials
>Really like her, anytime she talks I can't help but smile and I can't help but smile when I talk to her. Makes me feel all warm inside
>Ask her out to lunch with my friend after class, says she already has plans with friends, and she would just tell them never mind but they waited for her to get out of class
>Gonna ask her out next week for lunch after class either on Tuesday or Thursday
God I hope she says yes, I really like her and desperately want to move things forward, she is constantly on my mind. This weekend will be shitty as I work every day, hopefully it goes by fast so I can see her
Wish me luck anons, she's the furthest I've gotten with a girl in months

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>>17669364
Divorce laws are very progressive in my country. Neither gets to leech of halfof the other's assets in case of divorce.
That said, I wouldn't do that anyway.
>>17669378
About half a year in she told me the magnitude of her sluttiness. I completely lost it and tried to break up with her. I am no redpill fag, but I think that sex requires trust etc. bla bla... She became incredibly clingy and said I should marry her etc. I felt bad for her l, and, since I had been on an emotional rollercoaster too I seeked, above all harmony and stability. Outspokenly immature for a mid 30ies guy, I know that. I know I fucked up. I know I am an assburger sociopath.
>>17669437
Shit, nigger, you are me and I am you. Are you by any chance in western Europe?

>pic related

Also:
>Pro-tip for newly single guys: never marry a rebound when you still hold the feels for someone else, and do not expect the feel to be the same or even mutual. Also, never get married in less than two years to a stranger. Stranger meaning no strings prior to the relationship, or knowing the person as a friend or colleague previously.


This, this, this.

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I feel completely trapped within myself. I feel like I have so many things I want to do, yet at the same time I only think of those things as fantasy because I am unable to engage in any of them.

I'm not completly a NEET, I am studying and will probably graduate next year, but I am 26 and living with my mother and my grandmother. I haven't had a job for more than a month but that has never been a big deal because as long as I'm studying I know I'll be backed up financially, even if I have little money to spend on myself.

One of the things I'd like to do is travel, but I can't unless I get a job. Another thing I'd like to do would be to live by myself at least for a year, but I can't unless I get a job.

Now, the answer seems pretty easy, just get a job. Well, of course, but I get completly discouraged whenever I think about my future, because supposing my mom lives long, I will have to take care of her since I'm her only son (and I would never forgive myself If I sent her to a nursing home or whatever) and that alone makes me think I will never be able to have a proper private life, or have a family of my own, like she is always gonna be in the middle. She's a really nice person, which only makes it worse, because if she was a horrible person I'd have a reason to leave her on her own, but I can't do that.

I even have these thoughts sometimes, horrible thoughts, like: "What if they both die in a car accident?" and what would be my reaction to it, and how that would affect my future. I'd never hurt anyone so this only exists in the realm of my imagination.

As for myself, I've thought about suicide, and I guess I'd only kill myself if I had literally nobody else in my life. Fortunately I have friends, so for now they'll keep me going.

I feel really trapped. Being comfortable is the cage I guess. I mean, why should I even try?

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P, you just saved my happiness

only you can understand my craziness, S can go and do whatever she wants, now i realize that the only reason why i liked her was because she reminded me of you, and now i know that she will never be as crazy as you

I am really looking foward to seeing you next sunday, i've changed a lot over the years we got a lot of catching up to do

>>17669072
i've been there a lot of times, but here is a secret, when you really are the second consideration of someone, that usually means that you are the number one for another person, you just never notice that other person because you are too concentrated on whoever sees you as the second place

>>17669437
I am 33, and have spent about 15 years in relationships since I was 14. 5 years a piece with 2 different females.

You know what I have learned?

None of them are worth it. When the chips are down, the hand is bad, and they can easily fold... They will.

Loyalty is more than being faithful.

I will never get serious again, let alone marry. Thank God my ex didn't push for marriage after I proposed, and thank God she was Pro-Choice.

I'm sad.

I'm moving on Sunday and I should feel happy about it, it is a good thing, but I can't help but feel bummed out and feel as if this is the closing of a chapter in my life. I'd like to feel happier about it, and I think I probably will once I have moved. Until then, I dunno.

I think I'm being punished with shitty partners because I broke my first boyfriend's heart. I want to be forgiven. I was a child and didn't know any better. I'd do it differently now. I'm sorry universe please stop sending me bad boyfriend's. Please.

Is something wrong with everyone else, or is it me? I just got out of college, and already it feels like I'm a 50 year old man in how I view a lot of things. I have always been a loner, but already I feel myself slipping deeply into being a hermit. Especially among people my age, but true for most, I feel like no one actually communicates. If you disagree with anyone, you're evil. I got a degree in the sciences because lively discussion and disagreement with a rational basis IS what moves our species forward. Don't get me wrong, a lot of people do like me and many would consider me at least decently socially charming, I was recently described as being incredibly easy to get along with, but yet it seems everywhere I go people want to vilify me, to search for evil intent in my words. I agree, I can be contrarian, but I'm not childish about things and I merely just can't bring myself to have false relationships, of which it seems the overwhelming majority of people want. It feels like most of the time, people don't even actually like me, they just like the happiness I bring to them, they just want me to be another opiate of theirs. I get that this is kinda true inherently in all things, but FUCK. Honestly, I almost always leave social encounters with a bad taste in my mouth about it.

I like to think that I treat others how I myself would be fine being treated. Yet it seems, I don't know, it just feels that everyone has this weird social narcissism and hivemindedness. It is such an impasse, because generally I get along with older people, but we also don't tend to share a lot of interests, it is like I am truly stuck between generations somehow. I just really am growing to hate people more and more. I feel like everyone is so delusional, but that's not an illusion of grandeur on my part because it honestly just sucks. It feels so damned if you do, damned if you don't. I try pulling back and staying home more, and that is vilified too. "must be he hates us" FUCK MAN

I literally will never understand normies

I just want to go far away from society and do my own thing.

problem is I need a job and I want a gf too. so I have to pretend to be as normie as possible to get those things. it is what it is I guess.

I hate this guy and wish he would stop asking me to hang out .

>>17670290
>surely it's not my fault for having shitty boyfriends
>I take absolutely no responsibility in picking my partners , nope

Seriously ? If all your BFs or GFs are shit , that says something about you .

>>17670489
Hey I'm
>>17670463

Sounds like we'd get along

Still trying to figure this

Girl behaves noticeably different towards me than towards other people.
She seems kinda shy or nervous almost. But she is always "busy" when I try to meet up with her. (but claims that we should hangout, but never gets back to me)

I really don't know what her deal is.

If she saw me as just a friend, she would probably treat me the same as any other friend

If she saw me as more, then I would think that she would wanna do something one on one, and get back to me about meeting up

If she saw me as neither, she wouldn't carry on long conversations with detailed replies. Wouldn't claim that we should hang out, wouldn't have given me her number without hesitation


Shit she does or did towards me:

>She is shy, and kinda doesn't acknowledge me unless I say something, then we can talk for a good while without issue.

>Does not initiate texts, but is willing to talk for hours with detailed replies once I get her going

>I have seen her looking at me from a distance, sometimes locking eyes.

>When I asked for her number, she took my phone and punched it in. (It was the actual number, obviously)

>When I asked her to grab lunch the first time, she said she was busy that weekend, so I offered up Monday, which she accepted.

>>17669124
would it be weird to ask one of them to delete it? I feel it may seem kind of weird

I have a very, VERY strong internal reaction to anyone with Asperger's or an autism spectrum disorder. Hearing the sound of their voice makes me intensely anxious and uncomfortable for no real reason. They don't even have to look at me funny, I just want to get as far away from them as possible and never have to look at them again.

I don't care about forging friendships with these people, but it's a really frustrating thing to experience in public, and it makes me feel like an asshole.

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I am at a party at my crush's home. Everything she does is confusing or i am just being extremly paranoid, i ain't having fun at all. Everything is just a chemical reaction inside my body that needs to just disappear. I rejected so many girls just because of this. Now i just feel empty and i know i must get all of my shit straight somehow, but i kind of keep seeing fake hopes whenever i think i'm over this whole business, feel like i am hopeless.

WHY!!?

>>17670513

Notice how you are doing the majority of the work and she is just responding.

You know what you need? An actual definitive answer. Confront her and say that you want to know what this is. Is she interested or does she want to be friend. Demand and answer. If she gives you any answer that isn't definitive and is some wishy washy shit, then move dude. Save yourself the time with this chick.

The moment I used this strategy, all the stress and ambiguity was gone. I could get an answer and go from there instead of waiting. That is the worst part btw, not knowing what is going on.

>>17670523

Oddly enough, with all the autism talk on 4chan...the amount of real life autists I meet are astronomically low.

I could really use some advice

> 28 yo Dude
> Married for 3 years
> Have 2 year old kid
> Love my wife, but not IN LOVE
> Feel distant, bored, asexual towards her
> She is currently in school, counts onme for support financially.
> Met girl at work 2 years ago
>completely 100% IN LOVE with her
> Too guilty to tell wife, she has never done anything wrong to me, I simply am not in love with her
> I know if I was with the other girl I wold be truly happy for the rest of my life
> What should I do?

TLDR: IM NOT IN LOVE WITH MY WIFE, TOO GUILTY TO LEAVE HER FOR A GIRL I ACTUALLY LOVE.

>>17670276
Where do you live?

I'm hiding in my room because the girl I like/live with brought her boyfriend over and I don't want to meet him. He seems like a nice but ridiculously shy guy, but he reminds me that I can't be with her, and that kinda blows.

>>17670550

Go out there, and be outgoing and sociable. Show her what a fun dude you are, and how boring her bf is. hopefully you both are about even looks wise, but personality goes a loooong way.

>>17670532
>Notice how you are doing the majority of the work and she is just responding.

Yea, I know. I want to get a definitive answer, but I need a way to word it that won't alienate me, if she is not into me.

I don't wanna burn any bridges with her. It could make its way to others that I may become interested in, as everyone seems to know everyone where I live.

life is pointless
period.

>>17670563
Don't do this, try to be more social, don't break up a couple.

L
fuck I hate you I can't wait to move from here

I feel so unrespected by my girlfriend. She loves me and she respects me but she doesnt show the latter at all alot of the time. When we talk and I say something it gets ignored alot of the time, and when I start talking she will interrupt me with something completely unrelated and I listen to her talk about it and rinse and repeat. She does listen to me and talks to me pretty often but that shit happens way too much. She has a busy ass schedule this time of year so I am not always gonna be top priority and thats fine but holy shit some days it feels like I'm her boyfriend and thats it to her, just a word whenever shes doing her thing. Despite how bad I make it sound she actually does treat me well and I do the same for her, she loves me and I love her. I'm bringing it up to her tonight/tommorow and telling her that it hurts my feelings and makes me feel ignored and shitty. If she gets angry at me or does anything drastic I wont talk to her until one of us cuts it off or we talk that shit out. We've been dating about a year and a half and we've had a couple rough spots but things have felt really good lately, all but that one thing that is especially irking me tonight and kinda getting me down.

>>17670577
I'm out here. The guy is super nice. I am no competition

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Since you got promoted I can see the stress making you crabby. I think you're going to end up hating me for my work ethics. If I fuck up it'll be you who fires me. I told myself I wouldn't be attracted to you but it happened anyway. You're just so fucking super. Just having you as a friend would be enough now, but I'm losing that too. I hate this fucking company.

Pretty much every female in my life has ran away from me for one reason or another. I need a one night stand or more but i am "emotionally overweight" and girls can tell by talking to me. I've been really focusing on my hobbies and creative outlets which have been successful new endeavors, but they aren't Fulfilling my need for intimacy. I really just need an even moderately attractive girl to throw me a curve ball without any stipulations.

The more I indulge in the comfort of accepting my negative emotions, the further I get from what I need most. My life has been an uphill battle emotionally for so long that I am beginning to wonder if any other reality even exists. Girls just don't connect with a legitimately alternative, feminine guy who would rather make something than watch netflix all day

I hate the fact that I spent 5 years doing a meme neuroscience degree, when in the end all that I wanted to do was nursing. I fucking hate that I realized this too late and I was more than halfway through finishing my degree. Jesus christ, I don't even think I can get in med school because my laid back attitude caused me to flunk my 2nd and 3rd year.

By the time I graduate next year, I'd be 23. Then I'd be spending another 4 years of my life getting a BScN, and finish at 27. I feel like my life is so behind just thinking about this stuff. This might sound weird to some of you, but I think my current situation ruined my plans to have a family and a kid/s before 30.

All I want is to live a happy, normal life. Fuck.

>>17670535
I might not be the right person to give you advice but I think you should talk to your wife. Don't cheat on her, talk to her about your feelings. If ever you guys get a divorce, just always be there for your kid and be a good dad.

Oh God, my father wants to 'connect' with me again suddenly after 8 years apart. It doesn't help that he is more youthful and energetic at 50 than I'm at 24. Not that I don't like him, but I know it's going to end with him disappointed again.

>>17669589
As another guy in his thirties, with comparable relationship statistics, you are spot on.

It's why we call women worth marrying 1%ers. Finding a woman, not a girl, that you connect with, is loyal across the board, are attracted to, will always stand by you, and hopefully with a sexual history that is unable to field a football team or two... This is why so many of us at this age no longer want to marry, as finding a 1%er is as likely as finding a unicorn.

Pro-Tip: Avoid women that have pierced their nipples, or anything down under. Avoid any woman that strikes you as an attention whore.

I dreamed about flying to your apartment and smashing your stupid fucking face in. I'm nearly a foot taller, 90 pounds heavier, and you're a woman but the dream was so satisfying.

I would never do that in real life but still. I have never hated someone this much in my life.

>>17669206
It would at least open lines of communication.

No guarantees though. They may be cool, they might tell you to fuck off.

Maybe you should just leave.

>>17668270
Your pussy had obviously just been fucked and you thought I wouldn't notice.

I noticed how you were getting off to that fact as well. It's so messed up you wanted me to eat out your jizzed in slut vagina.

The most disgusting thing is you won't admit it. All you have to do is say the safe word and I'll know to never think of you again.

>>17668270
I'm foolishly falling for a girl who has a boyfriend.

I know it's wrong, and I know that it's not going to end well, but I don't think I can stop myself.

>>17671083
It's ok anon, she won't care she has a boyfriend.

Cheat away.

I find myself seriously crushing on this girl that comes into my work. She's super cute, demure, slim, dresses like a model and looks like Katie Perry. I want to pursue her. The problem is I'm in a serious relationship.

Serious relationship with someone who cheated on me then begged for me to stay. With someone who doesn't seem the least bit interested in me sexually anymore. I have damn near a panic attack whenever she goes out without me. We talk frequently though, and there are still shreds of love left. Overall, it's emotionally exhausting and I don't know if it's worth it.

My job has been stressful lately too. I'm pretty sure a coworker of mine is seriously gunning for my job (Asst. Manager) and I must have done something to piss off the GM because he's been passive-aggressive as fuck lately. I can't do anything without feeling like I'm about to thrown under the bus or stabbed in the back. I work with the fucker who I think is scheming against me tomorrow as well. I'm not sure how well I'll be able to handle that.

I'm sitting here at 1AM feeling overall shitty and drinking by myself because my girlfriend went out for the night. I'm barely managing to not have an anxiety attack, and this job which I've always rather enjoyed has all of a sudden become a goddamn nightmare. I want to cry but I can't find the strength right now.

I'm bordering on missing you, and moving on From you.

>>17671203
I'm bordering on suicidal thoughts and suicide.

Why did you do so many terrible things to me? The list is never ending and you have such a bright future ahead of you because of it. You used me as emotional backdrop as you fucked every other guy in your way.

You destroyed a good man.

i need this job hope i dont get fired haha lol

I'm fucking miserable in college and I just want to drop out and work for a while. I don't have any clue what I'm doing and I just do it because I don't want to let down my parents.

I can't stand to see my ex being happy with someone else after all the promises we made each other while I can't move on and I feel like a fucking loser because I feel like because she got tired of me nobody else will want me. And I don't have any fucking friends. I don't know how to make friends. I go to a therapist and I don't think it helps much with anything. My living space is a mess. I feel like a loser because I'm a fucking wreck emotionally and everyone knows it while they all seem to be more balanced and have things going on in their lives.

I smoke like a chimney and I yell the most hateful shit at people who piss me off when I'm driving because I'm always angry and stressed out. I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of breaking down. There's not a thing I enjoy or I'm good at. I just feel miserable all the time and I hate my life. I just want to run away and leave everyone. Disappear totally. Start a new life somewhere else. I don't know if it will be any better wherever I go. But I can't stand the constant reminders of my failure everywhere I am.

Fuck cancer

>>17671253
Yup

>>17668270
PLEASE, i really need some advice on this. please read this.

today i was sitting on a bench smoking a cigarette and a stranger asked me if i wanted to smoke. he seemed nice and very eccentric and so for some reason i accepted. I'm 19 and he's 35ish.

We went to his apartment and i felt kinda uncomfortable at first but he was nice and not creepy. mostly just seemed like was wicked eccentric or some shit.

We played chess after smoking weed, drinking a couple beers, and taking some adderall that i had bought and left in my backpack, then shit got weird. the dude went into the next room, lied down on his couch/bed thing, and asked me to put his elbow into his pack. apparently he had been having back problem. for some reason, i did but then i realized what i was doing and felt super uncomfortable about the situation and stopped.

we went to play another game of chess and he asked me where i lived. i told him the general area/neighborhood. he asked for my address and i paused and he asked again and for some reason i told him. i dont know why. anyway after i told him that i said i trusted him. (Honestly, at this point, i still didnt trust him though, because of the age difference) I had no idea idea what the fuck i was doing at this point. I was high, drunk, and on addy.

He then said thast why he didnt like anyone from the state that i lived in before i came to this city. he continued, at length, to say many things that implied that i was a racist. He was black. I denied that many times, because im really not. He wouldn't stop, so I left.

What the fuck /adv/? I feel fucking dirty. Why the fuck the I accept his offer to smoke? Why the fuck would I but my elbow on his back like that? Why the fuck would I listen to his shit?

I took 6mg of xanax after i got back to my apartment. i want this to feel like a dream.

help.

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I feel kind of...number.

I'm not really sure how to describe it, but I keep getting these feelings of 'I'm just saying/doing this because I know it's 'right' or, I 'used' to like this', and I don't really..feel emotionally attached. I feel slightly better when I'm around my fiance and sometimes when I'm by myself just doing simple things I used to do.

Is this what depression is like? What can I do to improve on it? I really don't like feeling like this...

>>17671267
Numb*, fucking auto correct

>>17671260
Well...don't do anything like that ever again for one. Two, keep your fucking door locked from now on and tell a family member or close friend about the guy so someone knows about it. Three, make an appointment at the doctors for a 'mental health check and tell the doctor about what happened. You don't really sound like you're in a mentally healthy state if you took stupid risks like that, and I think you need a professionals help.

>>17671253
Shout out to Boosie

>>17671282
Free my nigga.

I genuinely want to slit my throat and bleed out.

>>17668270
i need to make friends i just moved to a new city and all i do is was and game i hate myself

>>17671291
*work

>>17671289
I doubt it. You'll be happy in a year doing all the same terrible shit you're use to.

>>17671298

I've basically felt like this for 7 years now despite therapy and trying about 25 different medications.

>>17671279
thank you for reading and replying.

my door is locked with 2 locks. im going to tell a friend tomorrow.

i dunno if ill go to the doctor. i feel like i was just too trusting or something i really have no idea. i was just trying to be a nice person i think idk. i mean i definitely have stuggled with depression for a year and a half, but this week hadnt been too bad.

i do feel extremely uncomfortable still tho. took another bar, now on 6mg of xanax.

>>17671310
oh i didnt mean to repeat myself about the xanax. my fault.

>>17671310
I still say you should seek professional help because you knew how dangerous it was to go somewhere with a complete stranger, and the fact that you willingly ignored a natural survival instinct points to some deeper mental issues going on.

I'm saying this from experience, because when I was around 17, I got in such a weird head space that I would have done something similar if presented with the right opportunity, but now years later, I realize I was not in a mentally healthy situation. So I really wish you would at least mention it to a doctor, but you're an adult and you'll ultimately do what you like.

>>17671322
yes, youre probably right. i cant though. if i could i wouldve after i did acid during an extreme bout of depression. when sober, i can feel deep melancholy in my chest. on the acid, i lay in my bed and thought about jumping on a metal spike to let that feeling out.

i just can't show weakness like that.

but its been a couple months since ive been that depressed, which is nice. thanks for your concern bud. youre a very nice person.

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I fucking hate uni. I fucking hate these normans. I fucking hate this beach.

I've been having violent thoughts of hanging or shooting myself although I really don't want to. I can't help it, these thoughts pop up without warning.

I fucking hate the fact that I actually fell for the /r9k/ meme and can't look at normies without scorn. I fucking hate the fact that I can't make any friends.

I hate the weekends and the periods in passing where I have nothing to do but hide in some corner of the library. I resent my HS friends, who I always thought as somewhat equal to me when it comes to social skills, succeed at making tons of new friends.

I just have so much pent up anger because of my loneliness, of being left behind. It wouldn't be so bad if I live somewhere off campus so I don't have to see people after classes. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't join clubs and feel like I have friends for a couple of hours.

I know this is my own fucking fault, but I haven't had the chance to get this shit off my chest and it's just holding me back further.

>>17671331
Well, if it's any consolation, 'showing weakness equates to about Jack shit once you realize your the only one living in that body, and your the only one be to make it feel good or bad. Unless you're literally in prison, then fuck people that you feel like you have to be 'tough' around. They won't be standing by your side when the smoke clears, that I can fucking guarantee.

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I made a series of poor decisions and I'm about to be homeless in a city I hate, with 1 "friend" I hate, in a program I hate. On top of school work, needing to go to court for $400 in tickets from going 75kmh in a 60, currently living in a slum.
hopefully the place I'm going to see tomorrow isnt a shit hole so I can fix one of those problems
then I can hopefully cut the "friend" out
probably wont drop out, just be angry for 6months, keep reminding myself its only 6months
Him and his 2 room mate friends I know are all from rich families but keep acting like they have life hard and it is driving me insane. My life isn't hard but these people make their lives seem like tragedy.

>>17671340
thanks. i think that's true what you said. but id like to be a famous author or poet, and i dunno how therapy or meds would affect the quality of my work or the depth of my feelings or my interests.

i think ill just tell the story to a girl i kinda like tomorrow. she's crazy and i love self-destructive relationships. although shes like actually crazy, so i dont want hurt her in any way emotionally. but ive never really had a relationship that lasted more than two months. fuck im off topic sorry.

thanks for listening and talking to me, i really do appreciate it, even though my replies might not show it.

>>17671338
hey, im in college too. it really does suck for a while. but believe me, you will find a friend, whether it takes a week or several months. stop browsing /r9k/ right now and never browse it again. trust me, that's an unhealthy board.

Why is that I'm the one always doing for someone but no one ever does me?

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I can't manage my personal finance. I just fucking can't.

>>17671510
>but no one ever does for me

You sure no one is? Maybe you're just not noticing, or maybe you don't ask for help much. Speak up a bit, if someone asks a favor of you, ask for a favor back from that person if you think they are capable of the task, and you actually need the help. Sincerity and honesty go a long way friend. And remember to try and give second chances-sometimes you call upon a favour at the wrong time, even if that person really does want to help or appreciated your help in the past, but just can't answer the call at the moment.
>>17671525
Get a bank account, ask for help.

>>17671531
I already have. The problem is that I'm living under the poverty threshold at Finland. My monthly "income" is approx 700€ and I can barely manage to survive the whole month with that amount of money. Currently I don't have any money and I have to some how survive to next month.

>>17671539
OK, I don't know if every country is like this, but there are actually a lot of programs in the government facilities, or your local police force might be able to answer. You have to do some digging, but likely if you ask the right places, they have certain things you can sign papers or forms for, such as:

Emergency Food stamps/food aid (usually with in three days)

One time monthly page bill payed it reduced (we have one that we can use twice a year), probably have to ask your gas and electric company about that

Free bus passes

Other small amenities like football or free coat drives/etc.

Other things you can do to save some bucks is get a big bag of rice, a big bag of beans, and a bottle of good (2nd/3rd party approved, or a seal) multivitamins and make a lot of meals out of those two ingredients.

Unplug any electronics you aren't using (because they take energy while plugged in),

Get cheap white Christmas lights for lighting. They give off a good glow and take very little usage.

Use public restrooms for a while to do the basic bathing/shutting/pissing if you have to pay for a water bill. Just walking down the street to shit/piss saves you a lot of flushes, and at home you can fill a bucket with water and take sponge bathes.

I really hoped this helped anon, and good luck.

>>17671545
Foodbanks* not football,

And PGE, not..whatever the hell that said, fucking auto correct

I love finding despair in everything because it makes me feel less terrible about not trying at all in the first place.

I think my depression is finally getting out of hand. I've managed to deal with it alone with no meds for almost a decade just doing some small things that make me happy to get by. Now these things, my coping mechanisms is ALL I strive towards. My sleeping is shit as well as my diet and I think I haven't showered in at least 2 weeks... worst part is I don't feel particuraly sad. I haven't cried properly in 3-4 years (i get an instant headache and great pain between my eyes). I just feel nothing. Even if something bad happens that used to destroy me, now I just don't give a fuck and instantly accept the situation. My memory is becomming shit, I'm eating 1 meal a day (sometimes) and to top it all off I have 0 will to do even the simplest of things, let alone my shot together.. I have been thinking of online counseling, has anybody tried that? Do they help? I can't afford to go get real therapy.

Still waiting for you to admit everything.

Maybe if you admit it all I'll let you visit me for a weekend to pay your dues. You want to be a whore then I'll fuck you like the cum bag you are. Because seriously, that's all you're good for, you know it, and I'll make damn sure you'll feel like a piece of shit useless cunt.

Tell me bitch. What were their initials about a week ago. Were you really that big of a whore to get fucked and then need to touch your cum filled holes to me?

>>17671267
I feel kind of... sixty-three, myself. Just one thing after another...

I had too much to drink, until I was six, and all over the four no less.

I don't know. I really don't know.
I need to think.

>>17671593
How do you live? Do you have a job?

>>17671867
You need to just do what you're told for once.

>>17671886
Nobody has told me anything. If I tell them they wouldn't understand..

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I am 90% sure my now ex GF replied to a post on here about a guy wanting to be a "friend with benefits" thinking it was me.

Little did I know she had several other "friends with benefits" already.

She just needed another cock in line.

Despite our relationship supposedly having a foundation of loyalty, devotion, and everlasting love. She would tell me how meaningless sex was without love, how pathetic those woman were that couldn't control their sexual desires but all of that was one huge disgusting lie.

You know what though? I would give anything to have her come all the way to my home and look me in the eye as she explained herself. I would love to see her do one selfless act, just one, her entire life.

I was easily the best thing to ever happen to her. Shes either stuck with a pig man or trying to convince a married/engaged man to be with her. Which is not going to go well at all.

>>17671905
>they wouldn't understand.
I'm sure sleeping around is very complicated.

I fucking, so fucking hate my family for scolding at me for the littlest things. For having issues of themselves. For not thinking enough about being a better person or parent. For not caring as much when I do bad things as to when I do great things. I got great grades when I was young, and honors but I still get "why did "x" do better than you. You aren't studying harder than him" not a fucking "that's so damn great son! I'm so fucking proud". I hate how they flooded me with their morally shitful personalities as a child. I was so fucking young. I didn't know better. I didn't asked for a fucking dad who goes home late, drunk, and says that he'll wants to die. I didn't ask for a mom who is thinks she is incapable of anything. I didn't ask for grandparents who hate each other. Who likes to abuse their maids. I didn't ask for a family that when they sit and eat at a gathering, they always talk and spite about how they hate the eldest between my uncles. They all fucking go to church. They all should have knew better. THEY SHOULD HAVE ALL FUCKING KNOWN BETTER. And that now I'm near an adult and a failure in life THEY EXPECT ME TO BE FUCKING NORMAL. THEY SHOULD BE PROUD I HAVEN'T SOLD DRUGS OR EVEN TRIED IT. THEY SHOULD BE PROUD I HAVEN'T TOTALLY LOST MY RELIGION. THEY SHOULD BE PROUD I HAVEN'T DITCHED THEM FOR SHIT NOW THAT THEY'RE OLD. THEY SHOULD BE PROUD THAT AT THAT ONE TIME, DURING MY HIGH SCHOOL, EVEN THOUGH I WAS BULLIED AT SCHOOL THEN GET SCOLDED AT SMALL SHITTY THINGS AT HOME (FOR EVEN MOVING AT A WHAT THEY SEEM A GAY MANNER) WHICH WAS FUCKING NOT SINCE I DONT EVEN FUCLING THINK OF THAT DIDNT KILL MYSELF. I CANT EVEN MAKE A THAT A DECENT SENTENCE DUE TO THE FUCKING AMOUNT OF STUFF THAT GO IN THER BUT YOU THE POINT. I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE. THEY DONT KNOW. I DONT EVEN CARE NOW. IM DEAD INSIDE SINCE I WAS A CHILD. Whats the fucking difference now. I have so much to get off my chest. I don't need your fucking advice if you're reading this. Just shut the fuck up

>>17671932
and move along

>>17671938
Yo I was in a public place and some girl just randomly comes up and points here phone at me and took a picture how should I react next time I see her?

>>17671932
Can relate bro and DESU like can do better

>>17671960
What should I do?

>>17671926
Ok. I don't get it.

I love far too intensely, far too passionately, and I'm far too trusting.

When you give your heart, you aren't suppose to just give a part. It's all or nothing...

thinking about it, I most surely received nothing.

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Hello anons, do you have any general tips for moving out?

>>17671867
Tell me about it, it's like being in a bad movie

>>17671661
Whoa what the fuck...

>>17671978
I relate. You have to remember it's suicidal to be loyal to people who can't be loyal to you. It will just make you miserable in the end.

>>17672008
Is that a surprise anon.

are you on 4chan and getting surprised?

It sucks to be a loner and all, I get that. Not having chances with guys or girls. Not having anyone paying attention to you. That used to be a thing for me.

Nowadays though, I do get the attention, but I have to reject it. I have to go and tell my now friends "no, I can't pursue that". I had 4 opportunities in the last few years to get into different relationships. I have got one of those people to get really mad at me as well, afterwards, for not doing anything about it.

But I can't, because frankly I'm a disgusting fucking blob with shitty skin. I'm worse off physically than anyone I know. The clothing hides most of my flaws, and to any person I look just a little bit overweight (I used to be obese, lost around 50kg) but my skin is really, really messed up. My grandma doesn't look much worse naked. My dad has a good bunch of skin diseases right now but he didn't suffer this at my age.

>Add this girl I am interested in on Facebook
>Go to her house soon after
>Heads down to basement
>Shes down there, on a sofa, with 3 of her brothers (Has 5-7 siblings in reality)
>Sit down between her and her older brother
>The girl and I begin making out there
>That goes on for a couple minutes.
>We stop, and I comment on her big ass family
>For some reason a friend of mine is upstairs, and shows up for no reason.

Nothing to out there, but kinda funny, as this is the first dream where I did anything physical with her. (I've known her for 9 months by now)

You just keep breaking my heart. What did you expect to happen? Hopefully I'll be gone before you come home. Your wish will have finally come true

I want to fuck Markiplier. He seems like a total sub. I fantasize about him being a masochist, too.

Wait... after all this time it was your ex-bf P wasn't it? You two were in on it the whole time.

You were fucking that other guy back home but P was the other guy. I was right all the entire time wasn't I? I was right about both of them.

So, that night. Tell me already. I will not tell his fiance. I truly want to know.

that how he learned about that thing you freaked out about for no reason so fast.

No condom either, huh?

that post on this board about remember the taste of P's lips, 7 years ago that you were in a relationship for 4 years...

I hate guess games so just going 1, 2, 3, 4 y/n initials would work out fine.

you can trust.

I remember when I was about seven or eight, my mother took me into the restroom by my hair and locked me in with the hot shower running. I cried and screamed at her to let me out. She did this because steam is supposed to help with asthma attacks, and I didn't like the heat.

As miniscule as it probably was, I don't think I'll forget it, even if she did let me out a few minutes after. I remember being scared and locking myself in our room, begging her to forgive me for how I've been acting.

Now I'm sitting in the restroom with the shower on. Although under different circumstances, I think the situation is ironic. I feel distressed and guilty for everything bad I've done, and I'm failing everyone and everybody. I'm sorry if reading this was obnoxious, I just have no one to tell this to.

Hahaha alright, Here goes:

So about a week and a half ago I had a mental collapse in front of this person I'd only been an acquaintance with for about 2 weeks. I think there was a lot of touching and talk about rape and things but I don't really remember it too clearly. I think she went to one of those councilors and told them about it.

Why the hell did she stay when I was freaking the fuck out and probably telling her about how I wanted to fuck her dead body.

I don't even know what to do at this point, it's so bizarre i can't help but find it amusing.

>>17670930
By field a football team, are you talking just offense? Or offense, defense and special teams? Because I'm never gonna hit 33, oh god no

I want to punch my dog.

R, P, H, ...

I wish this love quad would clue me in.

Everyone is simply keeping the secret from me. This is cruel. South Guy is H, North guy is who? P?

1) I want to know how long it's been going on. 2) I want to know if this is the reason august fell apart. 3) I want to know if hes the one that stayed in the extra bed next to you. 4). Was he the one that your sent the picture that was "misleading"? 5) Was he the one your posts were about? 6) Did you have sex with him right before our vid call last week? The one I asked about your movements? 7) Use a Condom? 8)Were those "sarcastic" replies about that time real?. 9) that post I saw on here about kisses 7 years ago, together for 4 years were for him...? 10)when you said you were too ugly at the moment to send me pictures... were you in bed with him? was that why?

11)How many men have you slept with? P, E, ?, J, H, who else?

Please... please tell me. H, R, P... they all know. I don't. It's not fair. I'm not going to do anything. They are all gone.You can trust me. I would have left you all alone a long time ago if I had answers... that's all I want.

Sign it our favorite breakfast food.

>>17672160
That's messed up

Whoa, Albert Perez, did I do something to piss you off? What was up with you messing with the electricity? I got some house chores to finish up. I know it's late at night. Shouldn't you be out with friends having a great time at a bar or nightclub? Anyway, I got clothes to fold. Oh, what's that, you're better than me at folding clothes and you get paid doing that at Esprit. Okay, I hear you. What's that? Oh, you're also a better writer, a 7th degree black belt, you're also better at math, you also have god level hacker skills, you're the best salesperson that Esprit has, you're also a better artist, a better painter, a better dancer, etc. You're better at everything, and you're only 27. Okay, I hear you.

R

ya know I... it wouldn't kill YOU to tell me things but... you know it mgiht nkill me if you don't. I truly don't have anyone to talk to and if you take enough drugs than boooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm lssepy times goodnigfht everyone

wow ehavey

I'm fineeee

Your disinterest in just about everything is killing me, man.

>>17672376
>No new posts
no new posts anon join the room of alternating eyelids and sweating

>>17672155
I was talking about Iron Man Football, but if 33 makes you feel better, so be it.

I feel so silly.

I'm studying at this new place and there's a bar just right outside. I go there with my new buddies. There's a pretty energetic waitress there that seems to love her job.

So my buddy being pretty big, and me being pretty... small, we also order differently sized stuff, she finds it funny. The other day she gave me a lollipop.

I'm concerned about that.

I'm so angry I cannot run as fast I should be. And running is the only thing I can do happily. I want to fucking run 'till i die but I'm so sore from nothing

I'm such a fucking (male) slut. I want her to have me on a leash, slapping me and insulting me.

I hate that feeling of being in love with someone, when you know that any relationship with them would be a bad idea. I always have that "don't stick your dick in crazy" phrase going through my head when I'm with her, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to and it just drives me insane.

>>17672375
then message me. i want to talk but dont want to bother you.

im so lonely, i wish i was dead.

initial?

why do people believe in logic in a world that is obviously not logical?

i stay at home to avoid rejection. it's not so much that i literally get rejected by women all the time (although it does happen), or get rejected by dudes when I'm looking to make friends (that can happen too)...it's that every time I step out of the door I feel like a reject - like society, like the world itself doesn't want me. and it's a feeling that's with me the whole day. i feel like an imposter. so i stay at home to avoid that feeling, because it has no bottom. this is what having a mental illness is like for me - it's being more or less completely cut off.

I've went on a date with her once, and she seems eager to go again. No kisses but some romantic connection.

The problem is, she's completely unpredictable, swinging between flirty texting and completely ignoring my messages.

I'm starting to become obsessed with her because this is the closest thing I ever had to a real relationship, and she's extremely kind and genuine.

I don't know if I should drop her. It's painful to insist on her. It's like diving without knowing if there's a pool below me. The idea of confronting her about what she wants is attractive, however I could end up burning a valuable connection to a great person.

I don't know what to do, exactly. I might insist on talking to her and going on another date to see what happens. I just don't want to exhaust myself on this terrible, anxious cycle.

>>17670290
you've been forgiven for like, fucking years. I tried to actually have a conversation on multiple occasions but you're so scared of what i might say that you never do anything more than check in and check up.

I'm in a particularly aggressive mood tonight. things are going well, I'm on track to gross 100,000 this year and be on track for 300,000 to 500,000 next year. I'm doing decently well and I'm in a better position than most my age. but it's not going well enough and I'm not pushing hard enough.

no more maybe, no more bullshit, time to move.

can't describe this feeling I keep getting, like there is so much more energy I have to expend than what I am capable of expending with what I'm currently doing. feels like purposeless restlessness. I was going to quit smoking as of this weekend but it looks like I need to go for a drive to blow off some energy and now the two go hand in hand.

WHY THE FUCK IS SO DIFFICULT TO GET A LOYAL TRUSTING GIRL TO START A LONG SERIOUS FUCKING RELATION????????????????????????????????

Also I can't forget you, though I would but these 3 years have been shit, I'll always fucking love you.

>>17673931
I know that feel.

Her quiet periods are her texting another dude.
She oscillates between you and others as they come in and out of prominence.

I may be projecting onto you, but don't fuck up by being timid.
Go on a date and be bold. You are the man. You are the one in charge.
Even if she's strong willed, be in charge.

Next date. Kiss her. You have to. And be upfront about wanting it

>>17674110
just make the call, same number I gave you. we don't have to be friends though frankly you're still at the top of the list of people that are worth my time, but if you need to be told you're forgiven then try me. let's talk, you might be very surprised.

I hate myself, I can't manage to love any girl that had sex with anyone who's not me sometime in their life.

also why did you changed? we were the perfect couple

>>17674144
I'm in a similar way. Things are rather good, but I'm not satisfied and tonight I'm really restless. I don't have work tomorrow, so I get to relax. Yet instead I arranged to help people around here so I could stay busy and run errands for them or do a few tasks, fill in at the garden center and so on. Just to feel busy and still do something. I need more than I have now, more than I have access to right now. I'm not content as I am. I have to keep pushing, and filling the gaps with reasons to stay busy so I don't focus on the feeling that something's missing. Despite how good things are, I'm not in the mindset to actually enjoy how good any of it is because I'm too busy wanting to do and be more than I currently am.

None of this is enough yet. Contentment is so far. I'm not doing my best yet

you seem almost too good to be true.
please don't disappoint me, because i think i've already fallen for you.

I'm afraid that 12 years ago I mistakenly had sex with my neighbors' daughters. When one of them told me they were pregnant I lost control and killed them both. I never got caught. What should I do?

We had sex for the first time in a week. You came first. I had to finish myself off alone. You fell asleep on top of my blanket. I still had to walk the dog alone.

And you wonder why we don't have sex more.

I think I'm just one of those people are going to be alone for all their lives.
I don't think I'm too unattractive. It's not that I have a huge tumour on my face.
I go the the regularly.

But... I just don't have the disposition
I'm looking into my future and I can't see anyone breaking into the life I've haphazardly constructed. They'd need to take the initiative and as a man, I don't think that's possible.

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I asked a friend if she wanted to come over and watch a horror movie with me, one of my favorite films really. She was very enthusiastic when I extended the invitation, didn't say anything negative about it, sounded like she really wanted to see the movie. When she got over, she just whined about how she didn't want to watch it, she hates horror movies, she doesn't want to be scared. She made it a point to make sure she fell asleep 10 minutes into the movie specifically so she didn't have to watch it. When the movie ended she even woke up and said "Like how I got out of watching it?"

Shit just kinda pissed me off, because I really wanted to watch and enjoy the movie with someone. Don't accept an invitation to watch a damn horror movie if you don't like them, she could have just told me from the beginning she didn't want to watch it.

I wish I had more friends that could share some of these niche interests of mine that I can't ever get anyone to do with me. I guess I'm just mad because I finally thought I had a friend I could watch horror movies with.

>girl tells me she wants to study
>meet up today at 2:30
>says she gotta go grocery shopping at 3:15
>end up staying together until 4
>think the friend may have been a guy, friend apparently super pissed at her and called her a bunch , thought I heard a "Bobby" but I could be dead wrong since I wasn't paying complete attention
>afterwords I'm like "yeah , if you ever want to study again just hit me up,"
>semi cute but at the same time I actually got something out of the studying
>sort of got this thing going with another girl but for future reference...
Is it out of the ordinary that she decided to stay and study with me an extra 45 minutes ?

>>17674154

>wants loyal trusting girl
>still in love with someone else

Your own loyalty is shaky at best

>>17668270
i met her on /fit/
i actually met her in real life and i had something going with her for about 6 months

we had something going on for half a year
yet decided at the beginning of that year she needs to go back to her ex

why?
because she, and that we both established
>fears to be alone
>knows what she's getting out of him
>thinks he is immature (she is his first), childish at times and inexperienced
>she sees me as her mature, experienced guy
>she's clinging on to that teenage relationship because every other failed around them and she wants to show everyone that it can exist

over a month ago
>can we get some more distance between us? aka not write with each other?
>need to make myself clear what i want
>writing with you is making me sorta just look into one way

texted her on her birthday, a week ago
she thanked me and told me she appreciated that
wanted to start some smalltalk
but got shut off with "i don't wanna ignore you, that's why i'm answering you. you know i don't want any contact at the moment"

>talked to her two days ago
>asked her how long we shall remain on each others contact list, not texting while we both want that
>she tells me she just doesn't want contact with me for an indefinitely amount of time
>actually declares me her "ex-bf", although we never established a real relationship
uhm what?

is that her way of trying to cope with it, labeling me as some ex-bf?

i believe just move on is the logical step here?


what urks me the most ist, that i actually met a girl in this cesspool of a shit site and fell in love with her, because the whole package attracted me.
now i feel like i don't know where else to look like that sort of girl, since this one actually overthroned my ex who was, at that time, my oneitis.

>>17674260
People are found everywhere.
It's a fallacy to think that since you found one here, it's only here that you find one.

Also, it's "irks" not "urks"

>>17672823
you know I can't because of your dog

Just answer everything

>>17668909
Top kek

>>17668270
Sometimes I poop too much. And I don't even eat that much. Where is it all coming from?

>>17668270
People who stay in the left lane should die.

>>17674310
Past days.

I remember last week, I shat so much my pile rose above the water

Started going out with gf in June break up and get back together in august, but still losing interest in her. Gf is literally contemplating suicide so don't wanna break up with her because of the fear that she'll kill herself from being depressed by me leaving her.
Also another girl that I've secretly loved for 2 years now, been friends since early childhood. We talk via text, FaceTime etc. but don't see her that often as we go to different schools. But still would rather be with her than current gf.

>>17669062
Yeppers

>>17669263
You suck

>>17669526
Get out of your fucking head be good to your mother and friends and live life you faggot.

>>17670544
Wichita Kansas

>>17672468
shit not familiar with the numbers on that but okay. 33 seems high but I'm introverted as fuck and have a hard time trusting enough to fuck so there's that.

>>17674159
Thanks, anon. Your words are as clear as water, they are exactly what I needed to hear. She's even mentioned how timid I am.

Maybe this (You) is a golden opportunity to be made man and finally stop being a drowning betacuck. Tomorrow I'll go to this great cafe with her, and I'll remember your advice like no other.

Thanks again, anon. Have a good one, you deserve it!

I'm tired of her now. I over reacted cause she hurt me and denies doing it. We both messed up but it was all my fault. She is giving me another chance after I begged her for it but desu Im starting to care less about her now that she is giving me a second chance. Could be fun tho, now I can ignore her see her scramble again

>>17674320
Just break up with her anon

>>17674250
this

I hate feeling like i dont have control over my life. I watched a "what donnie darko meant" video on youtube and wonder what the message was. Then i feel even more guilty because i know others have had a way rough life, but then i begin feeling so small and insignificant. That thought is rarely comforting, usually letting me feel like a high functioning autist too jaded from life to take good advice. Im just too numb and can barely sleep. Then I look in the mirror and smile, after all, i am my owm biggest fan.

I just hope it wasn't you. the thought that you might be carrying a weight for all this time about some shit you could have always just talked to me about and had the problem disappear isn't great. I wonder if the number I gave you was wrong, if i messed up typing a digit or something, or if you really are scared of what I might say. or if you dont want that conversation because of some other reason.

if you need it, you can always call. supposing I didn't fuck up a digit or something.... then I suppose post a throwaway email here with something identifying. not something big, but something I'd remember.

because you're looking in the wrong places and still holding someone on a pedestal and comparing other girls to her.

that said, there's a difference between not forgetting someone and still being in love with them to a detrimental degree. just since that point was made by some other anons.

>>17674488
this didn't link for some reason. this is for you >>17674154 caps lock anon.

I am never showered in light by another. I am never reciprocated genuinely, fully. Like the moon. I will continue to wax and wane. Until then, I will always be left in the dark.
L

I give up. I want to die. I realize that there's nothing out there that could make me happy.

I'm 18. I've gone nowhere with my life. I'm not employed. I managed a 1.7 GPA through the first 2 years of high school and only barely carried myself through the last two. I moved from my home state, with all of my friends and like-minded people, when I was 13, across the country. I haven't felt at home. It's like I'm on a vacation where I want to go home and I can't. It's like I've been put in jail. I'm applying to universities in my home state so I can go back and even then I know it won't be the same. I'll feel the same. I'm never pleased anymore. I only get pleasure from romance and I can't will myself to involve myself in it, even though I'm not incapable. I'm sociable and almost a normie. But I just hate myself. I'm scared of people and their reactions. I'm scared of how people treat me and since I lived here my life has gone down the fucking drain. I want to kill myself every extra day I spend on this fucking landmass. I hate it here so goddamn much and it's the cause of my problems. Coupled with the fact I'm schizotypal and dissociative, I want to die. I really do. I can't even describe it anymore. There is no word to describe how much I want out.

>>17674562
Continuing on, call me whatever you want. A special snowflake, whatever. But I don't feel good, like this. I'm not physically attractive and I'm kind of incompetent. I'm smart, sure, but I'm not above average. I'm a jack of all trades when it comes to words and knowledge, but when it comes to applying those, I fuck up. I can't do it. I collapse. I had all these plans for myself but the closer I come to finishing them I can't see the endzone. I can't see myself being happy, really. I give up. It feels awful. It's like I'm being existentially waterboarded. As soon as I get a taste of fresh air and a bit of happiness they come back and drown me with it.

I fucked up. Ahhhhhhhh
This will haunt me for weeks.

rr

I know you faked your orgasms and have been lying to me. I suspect you bought a vibrator and that's what that was when we cammed last time. Or maybe it was something else.

Whenever I asked you about your orgasms you got insanely defensive. In fact, it makes sense why you would try to put the blame on me later.

I know I'm not bad at sex. Even my past GF's would tell me sometimes it was "meh" but was really good overall. You realize that if you kept claiming "oh my god that was the best sex ever" over and over I don't know what to do. I knew I could do better, I knew you were faking, and all you had to do was tell me what you wanted.

I know you would get annoyed when I was horny and you weren't when I texted you. This is because you were fucking someone else though. Telling your friends I "took too long" while you put no effort into it, lied to my face, and kept me around despite not loving me is fucked up.

It's all on you.

>>17674562
>18
>life is over

Mate, stick it out until you're 30. Then you can talk

Whoa, Albert Perez, messing with the electricity while I was in the restroom. How about some privacy. Oh, wait, you're a writer, you don't give a shit about other people's privacy. Anyway, I got to go brush my teeth and shower. So fuck you asshole. Hey, did you watch The Wolverine, wasn't that so fucking cool when Logan used his claws to cause a power outage. Yeah, what a fucking cool movie. Got to hand it to Fox, for making so many X-Men movies focusing on that white guy. Now go to the bar or nightclub and get shitfaced or whatever it's called when you drink too much alcohol.

i love you but i'll never forgive you. ever.

She doesn't make me happy any more.

I'm sorry I do this and I know it's cheating...kind of...but.... I need to release my sexual energy somewhere and he's there when I want it. You never want me but he always does. I'm so sorry, I love you but I need this. I wish you wanted me the way he does. I'm sorry I'm not enough but neither are you.

I got kicked off football
I nearly got fired from work
I lost my beautiful smart perfect girlfriend
Doing exams
I'm so afraid of what lies after school, I want to go to university but I'm not sure how I'll do in exams, I'm a bright guy but there's always that chance
I don't wanna be forgotten either, I wish so hard I could be part of my girlfriends life, we weren't together for very long by any stretch of the imagination at all but she's the person I've felt strongest too and it's a shame circumstances drove her to end it, I just want to be with her. I want to treat her like Gatsby treated daisy, with gifts and love of the purest kind. But I'm probably going to be left behind, a memory or not even that. I can't stomach her getting someone new. I can't stomach leaving any of the people I've known here. I just want to roll back the clock to 12 months ago and I'm sure I could fix all of this but I can't and I feel worthless, these last couple of months has been so much self hatred and I can't stop it and I hate myself more for it. In 18 nearly 19 years I've never thought of any of this until now and it's unbearable, I want it to stop so bad, so fucking bad

>>17674962
State location, job dreams, general work situation in the area
Do you lift or do cardio now that you're off the football team?

Its my birthday tomorrow and Im a bit conflicted on whether to deactivate my facebook or not. On one hand the bday messages would be nice and I know my gf would post something really sweet, on the other hand it stresses me because I'll be worried if not many people wish me happy birthday on fb and it will make me look like a loser (I have friends I just don't see them a whole lot anymore so no idea if they will wish me a happy bday). What would be the better option? If I deactivate my fb for the day I wont stress about any of that but I may feel a bit bummed out missing out on potential happy birthdays

>>17674998
Australia
Job situation isn't bad around here but I'd prefer to keep my job for as long as possible, it's just sketchy because my boss has done things behind the scenes to make it harder. He's eased up but I'm still feeling the pressure
I want to be a teacher
I've been lifting for ages but for the last few weeks I haven't been able due to exams

>>17675039
Happy early birthday!!

Now deactivate fb if the # of people who post birthday wishes will determine if you have a great bday or not...

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>>17675039
Birthday wishes on facebook don't mean shit. Deactivate your account or remove your date of birth if you're stressing this much about that nonsense.

>>17669072

Are you me? Literally everyone tell me I'm a fucking 9/10 ("you should model or something"), maybe a little shy but not a big problem, intelligent (I'm a fucking Aerospace Engineer) and very funny, fact is I'm always the second choice of every fucking girl. This situation is driving me to depression, I don't know how to deal with it anymore

>>17675069
Thankyou! I'm thinking this is the easy option, stress free. I overthink everything unfortunately.

>>17675071
Agreed, will do. Thankyou for your advice :)

>>17675039
FACEBOOK ISNT REAL

>>17675061
>I want to be a teacher
Like a school teacher or something that pays a lot better? It'd be a good idea to become an industrial welding instructor or something. I'd personally advise against any job not related to heavy industry.

>>17675095
School teacher. They get paid well in Australia. My software teacher makes over 90K. The other generally make 70+. Casual teachers get $400 a day.

I'm on the other side of the world from her right now, but today was her birthday.

She cried out of happiness when she opened my present and read the letter. I'm so elated that I could do something to make her happy on this special day despite being so far away.

>>17675106
That's not bad. Alright. Get yourself a C25k app for your phone and start jogging if you can't lift. Trust me, you have the time thrice a week. It WILL clear your head and make you better at studying, and you also won't get massively fat. Seriously, trust me, a guy who still has the eating habits of a footballer will inflate like yeast dough if he doesn't do something fitness-wise, especially in sedentary exam times. Happened to me.

Stick to your guns buddy. Dreams are for making real. Get the boys together on a Friday night and talk to them about all of your fears and doubts. Hit hard. They'll understand. They'll make you feel better.

>>17675074
You are just too handsome negro. Girls just want them to bait you, to not look too easy. Dont give in. Find a decent hoe.
P.s. dont fucking look at a bar you idiot. Find one at where your interest resides.

Anon out

>>17675126
Thank you. Surprisingly I've lost about 10-11kg since football. I don't ever feel like eating anymore. Good luck to you man

I don't want to take drugs no more but will I fail ?
I feel so versatile and I know I may be easily influenced by my friends
So fuck them too

Currently I'm also in an obsessional love which is killing me softly, it hurts for real.

And I'm so worried about my future, I mean my studies are not doing well, I'm pretty good at any subject but the most important one (I can't understand a damn thing) so... I feel like I'm fucked

Plus I got some friends who are always tryin to push me to go partying with them, while I'm trying to get wiser because I don't feel like this routine is good for me, actually I even don't really like it

I also got hell of tinnitus, I can't stand it

I have a lot of dreams but I really feel like I'll never win.

I'm looking for love but I can't find it
So I'm also looking for God
Imma go to church tonight

I love you all anons sorry for my shitty english btw and bless you
I'm so tired of everything

I feel like I'm gonna blow up soon

>>17675136
I'll give you a chance, next time I'll make the first move, thank you senpai

I think I need to go back to therapy

>>17670930
Thank you for making me happy. We had our ups and downs but she passes all of these criteria with flying colors.

There is justice as we both were good-looking permavirgins at 28. Her because of virtue and buddhist ethics, me because a couple of cheap hookers fucked at 21 to get over it didn't count.

>>17668270
You're pissing me off.
Your entitled attitude, leeching, constant bitching over literally fucking nothing. You never want to make things better. You just want everything to stay the same or get worse so you can have an excuse to complain. You like drinking too much, it's your only connection. You make me miss her, and I fucking hate that.

>>17674870
I've been trying to get to my GF for months now and she finds every excuse she can to not get me there.
JW

>>17674834
Yes, I know you're posting this as a marker for my posts.

Just leave me alone? are you trying to build a case for me?

I never hurt her or intended to do anything bad. I wasn't threatening her dipshit.

Dinner tonight? Or will you be working? I've fallen for you

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>>17674834
Friends or R,

You know nothing about me. I am a good man that treated my woman with incredibly amount of respect, love, patience, & understanding. She might tell you other wise but I am the reason she is where she is. I pushed her to do interviews, art tests, get passport. Encouraged her art & talking about her beauty she felt like the amazing woman she is. I challenged her.

This last few weeks have been the only time I stumbled but her actions & words were atrocious. Until just a few days ago I had never raised my voice at her, insulted her, made her feel anything other than intelligent & beautiful. I have been loyal to my core & supportive as humanly possible. only finding the truth of her actions did I lose my cool but I DID NOT THREATEN TO DO WHAT HAS BEEN SAID. I specifically said I WASN'T going to do that & I held true to my word.

She has lied about me many times. She has mocked me, belittled me, & made fun of me & I did not return the favor.

You people, her "friends", are disgusting animals. She tells me how terrible you are as people and makes fun of you constantly. M, she thinks you're dumb as fuck, a basic bitch, & can't do anything on your own. I agree with her. As well, you're a useless whore & your "anchor baby" is laughable mexican stereotype. N, you're a whore as well. You two have no morals. H, she is disgusted by your appearance & personality. Your art is so bad it's hard to tell even who you are painting. You have the skill level of a highschooler & your dick is the size of a pinky. You're so fat you look like you have a hard time breathing. ExP, your paintings are elementary school level. Your an SJW faggot & you look like you're a bottom. You have no personality & you're dumb as a rock. PZ, you look asian. That's all you have going for you. StZ, you might have a good job, you might have money, & your art is "technically" good but holy shit is it boring. Just stale.

Cheaters, liars, and mediocre.

Fuck off.

She will regret this.

I really hate texting. It feels so impersonal. I find myself making excuses to end conversations over text, even with my girlfriend. I'm good at talking to people in person or over the phone, I just really hate texts, e-mails, etc. Is there any way to not hate it?

I hate that i don't even have the confidence to say what I'm feeling sometimes to my boyfriend in person, in case he secretly hates me. I'm shy, even when I've texted my thoughts. I hate text. I could get a nice pen, and make a nice letter

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>>17675435
Lastly,

Her claims of me threatening her are unfounded. I said something in anger, it confused her, and then I IMMEDIATELY TOOK IT BACK. I immediately said "No, sorry, I'm not going to fucking do that. I would never do that." So it would not hold in court. As well, I did my part and couldn't do it (wouldn't do it anyways).

I said it because I was desperate to not be ignored. To see if she was even there . I didn't and wasn't following through. I feel like this is obvious especially given how amazing I treated her.

I realize this is a ploy to censor me though. She knows she fucked up and can't admit it. But that's not it... that's not what shes afraid of. What she is afraid of is me posting what happened so the world could find out how terrible of a person she is. Including you stupid fucking goblins that follow her around and do her bidding.

It's fine though. I'm not going to post any events, names, anything. You're all safe to cheat on your fiances, wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, whatever. That's all you fucking disgusting people are worried about. You're all worried about accepting responsibility for the terrible things you've done. You're not worried showing your true colors, you're just worried about getting in trouble.

No wonder she turned into such a fucking disgusting whore. She surrounded herself with you people.

I want no part of you. I am better than you. You're so worried I would do those things to you because you fucking people would do it yourselves. I am not like you worthless roaches.

I am good. I am better.

in every way.
J

>>17674834
You again? Are you just paranoid or what?

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You laughable whore. You chewed me out for talking to other girls after we had one date. After I broke it off, you text me wanting to fuck, but then try to insult me and let slip you had a fiance that wanted to watch. I'm pretty sure you married the friend you had "threesomes" with in college, and now you try to drag me into your bizarre sex life.

Ahahah, did I dodge a bullet. Have fun, Echo!

Was your message a chat up line? I thought you might want to get to know each other, but I avoid any hint of games with hearts. Somehow, I don't think it's your style. Also it feels like there's someone trying to stop us liking each other, maybe I'm wrong

>>17675604
Initials?

I have to wonder, have you been keeping so many secrets because you wanted me as a backup?

Why keep them now?

Why keep ignoring me? You know I have a mental illness where these type of things do not go away and I cann't do anything about it.

>>17675439
I feel ya. I hate text and the phone. It feels really impersonal and it makes it difficult for people to get to know me.

My crush's best guy friend and her are from the same star sign. According to the internet, 2 people of that star sign make a perfect couple. I can't deal with this.

>tfw can never talk to women without sexual intent
>tfw always aware of this
>tfw think they know it too

how can i genuinely be nice/talk to girls without sexual intent

>>17675756
>implying there's more to opposite gender interaction than sex
why would you talk to girls without sexual intent?

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I haven't played my favorite game in over a month because two online friends ghosted me and they play that game. Last time I played, one of them was on the server I was on and I had so much anger but refrained from typing. That is the only time I would be able to say something to them, they blocked me on the service we used to communicate and even though the game requires that to play, it doesn't give a shit about if your screen name matches your game name. I hate this, so much.

>>17675318
I hope it stays that way, brother.

Some women are good at presenting as a 1%er.

>>17675800
kek

how autistic/shit are u to get burned like that

nuff nuff

>>17675800
Something similar happened to me back in high school, it sucked.
>I discover a pool game on facebook
>show it to my friends, they absolutely love it
>we play regularly
>I start to get tired of it but occasionally ask them if they are up for a game, since they seemed to enjoy it
>they all say "no offense but we are tired of that game"
>later on find out that they keep playing the game daily against each other and they left me out of it
wtf

>>17675820
I dunno man, looking back at it I guess it's funny in a weird way

>>17675822
That's messed up familia

>>17675746
8/10 b8, here's a reply

I miss you a lot ,every time i'm away from you. Friday was amazing, your lips are so soft (i hope you enjoyed it as much as I did) I hope you think of me as much as I think of you.

trying to resist the urge to call her. I fucked up badly and she's giving me another chance. She knows I'm messed up yet she's still willing to help me after a cringe worthy week of me breaking down. I just want things to go back to the way they were and I know she needs some space right now. But I miss talking to her, i wish I could go back a week and undo all I did. I also want to drink so badly to cope but I promised her I wouldn't anymore. Should I just give up on her and just become a full fledged alcoholic? It's going threw my head a lot right now

>>17675861
initials?

>>17675888
For the trips, you got it. AB

>>17670930
Has there been any appreciable uptick yet in adult female suicide? Could just be me but I've a feeling that wave is coming.

Friday morning was the best

>>17670463
You aren't alone anon. Wish we could grab a beer together.

Cannot even jerk it.

I'll remember the whore's face and everything instantly goes "isghhhh".

How would one go ahead with becoming a professional muse?

>>17676056
move to indiana.

22 y/o male.

I met a lesbian through an extra-curricular on campus two months.

Over the past ~three weeks she's become probably one of my best ever friends.

I think I'm in love with her.

Help.

11 months in and I've had enough. Today is the day I'm probably going to break up with her.

I'm back on meds after a complete breakdown. I was off them for half a year and I got my life back together then one moment of weakness took me back to the doctors.

I want to do just therapy, it would help to have someone to vent to since I don't have any social support, but I'm being pushed to take meds again and they are already draining my willpower. I've lost all motivation and my future goals are starting to feel unobtainable

Saw a picture of my ex on facebook today and instantly became a fucking emotional wreck.

Haven't even seen her in 9 months.

I have no one.

I loved my GF so much. I was an absolute gentleman to her the entire time. We have been long distance for awhile and while I don't have a lot of money I had been trying to be with her. The problem is she wouldn't put forth the effort to be with me. In the end that was because she had been talking to someone else for a long time.

I don't know who but someone. Her mind is sick so she will not admit it but the signs are all there. It's ok though I'm tired ofo trying to get her to talk to me like a human being.

She has twisted and manipulated things to the point where I am some kind of monster in her eyes.

I'm going to write a beautiful letter. No one will be around tonight because they are all taking care of a family member in the hospital. Little kitty has her food and water.

I'll be uninterrupted.

Cannot wait for some peace and quiet.

I can't focus. I need to focus; I have a midterm tomorrow. But I can't as long as my friend is refusing to talk to me under the belief that I'm something that I'm not. I need a chance to talk. I need to explain what's going on. I need to know that this isn't just another case of someone dumping me and never speaking to me again because of an incorrect assumption. I'm getting sick of falling victim to all these false alarms. I guess you could say that that basically sums up my life for the past three years: nothing but false alarms.

I am making my circumstances worse through inaction. I need to stop wallowing and just do what I want and get out of here.

It's so hard to be this uncomfortable all the time. But the prospect of what happens outside of the currently uncomfortable... I suppose it's not that much worse.

I made things worse. I wanted to end this the moment it started but it was difficult. He was just so fucking good looking, and wouldn't stop begging, I couldn't help it.

Fucking hell. How lucky am I to live next to a suicide bridge.

>>17676375
Where you at anon?

been there for a long time?

Despite it all...

I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms and tickle your ear with my nose.

I want to be happy so badly again.

I want to have that to look forward to.

Why? Why? Why?

>>17676406
No, not at all. I moved to a new place where I knew hardly anyone at the beginning of this year. And I ended up doing insane things for the majority of it. Things so out of character because I'm too passive to do anything about it.

I don't know if i am going crazy or will go crazy.
I don't know if what i am thinking is real.
But this time i will beat my fate, i don't want to live this life another 1000 times and repeat this joke of a life where i die at the end having found my love. How can history even fucking repeat itself if I know the outcome of the story. Why can't i influence life. Why doesn't the girl i love care about me until history allows it. Why am i so powerless. I want and need to do something but i just dont know what. Life feels shit with or without drugs. The only thing i want to do is live a normal life nothing more. I don't want love if i have to go through that tragedy again i just want my life to go an alternate way and i will try my best to achieve it.

E,

If you're still here...

I started shooting H, which is why I couldn't do what we both wanted on that last night.

I am clean, but it doesn't matter anymore; we cannot live in the past. I wish it had never reached that point, but I am a fucking asshole, and a mess.

All of my closest friends are dead, except you. We will never talk again, though, and it makes this so much worse. I honestly thought we were forever, otherwise I may have been more upfront about this.

I'm trying to quit, again, and I am now on Day Four. This is a Hell I would wish on no one. What good is any of this?

I'll always love you. I wish I had been better. Remember that, when the inevitable happens.

No games,

- R

A girl i had a crush on a while ago just updated her Facebook status with a picture of what seems to be her new bf.

Didn't even feel anything for her at all anymore - but damn this shit hit me harder than I want to admit.

Yes I know you're fucking him right as I type this.

You're going to be drunk with love for a few months. Maybe less depending on how your mood swings go. You're thinking "This is how it is without him, it's great! I didn't need him after all. I got to take everything from him and give him nothing.".

When your psychotic bitchiness comes out though, he will run. You will be lonely.

I will be dead.

>>17676492
What are your initials?

are you a girl?

Did you get my long email today with all the questions?

If so email me.

Now i understand why i attracted girls easy in my school years and did get neither friends or girls these last 7 years, because i put up walls in my mind to block my emotions like some kind of robot making me feel fake and others felt it too and i also ran away from any stressful situation, it feels great to finally be fair with myself again, it feels i like a dropped a heavy burden.

I view myself as an ugly herb but have girls giving me complements and checking me out. I'm a dickhead who likes playing with peoples emotions and when a cute girl likes me I pussy out. I've like a girl for years and she was to hangout with me and get to know me better but I'm not the Chad she wants. I'll probably be a punk ass virgin meet all my life. I hate my parents and ~90℅ of the people around me. I don't go into relationships because I know I'm a sad sack of shit and believe no one should have to put up with me. Have thought about suicide many times but I'm not going to subject the people, who for some reason love me, to that. Good way to "live" I'd say.

>>17676492
I just know this isn't you but it would make more sense than what else has been going on...

When? Is this how you lost your money so fast? Is this why you didn't want to get an apartment less than $1000?

You a lady? C last name?

>>17676492
R,

I was moved deeply by your letter. I wish for you to never lose the hope that tomorrow will be better than today, nor the knowledge that you have enough strength to overcome whatever life brings to you. From this, you will bring the goodness into your life that you deserve such as joy and peace.

The past has been forgotten except for the memories of the happy times. Perhaps we will cross paths again when the time is right.

Until then, I will be thinking of you and sending you well wishes.

Take care,
Not your E but an E who cares

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I'm depressed to the point where it now hinders my ability to function normally.

I should seek help. I know this. But with lack of better terms, I'm to scared to do so. And that I somehow deserve this shit, even though I know the notion of that is nonsensical.

I don't know what words or actions will make me do anything about it. As of now, I don't think anything will.
Until then, it will continue to grow on me until I fear I'll do something I won't live to regret.

Although I ended more or less my last break up fine, the transition to being just a friend and knowing I'm less special day by day its eating me alive.

I would like to go to her and say "I love you, let's make this work again". . .

>>17676556
After 3 years of trying to get help I'm still no better off than when I started. At this point a normal life seems so far off I'm not sure I'll ever actually get to experience it.

But who knows, maybe there is a decent mental health system where you live.

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Damn I hope I won't fuck it up as I usually do.
I finally found a girl I like a lot and she likes me too.
I haven't seen her in 8 days and I miss her so much. Now I have to wait till Friday to see her again.
I hope we're gonna hang out more once our relationship becomes more serious.
I wish she was here right now, I wanna kiss her and hold her in my arms.

I've been missing you ever since the day we first met baby.

Please, please, please let me get what I want this time.

Frequenting this board only made me more depressed.

I moved to be with my depressed brother. Its been helping his depression. I got a new job where I sit at a desk all day. Ive been less active suddenly. Find out Im allergic to something in this town. Indoors and outdoors and food allergies. I feel weak and shitty often. I get even lazier. I take medicine but it doesnt get rid of the problem, just makes it happen slower. Im getting a belly now.
I try going to the gym. The gym owner keeps mistaking me for someone else and the staff keeps trying to kick me out. I only go now at night so they stop mistaking me. I get some muscles finally.
I get sick. I cant eat for weeks. I lose weight and muscle. I get gross looking. I try exercising again. Allergies slow me down. Im too weak.

Look at my brother. Hes getting fat too. Hes already pretty fat and out of shape as is, but hes getting fatter now. Start thinking its in our genes. Im afraid Im going to be doomed to being sick and fat all the time now.

I have the sudden, strange desire to steal my family's remains from the cemetery. I lost them all years ago, and i feel the weird desire to get their bones from the cemetery and store them here, in my house. I want to touch, to hug my Father, mother and sister's bones for some weird reason. I just pictured myself hugging my father's femur and i felt so comfortable.

I don't know what the fuck is going on.

[email protected]

email me if you want to talk?
i'm lonely

if i don't reply immediately please check back, i will respond to any email

>>17676957
this made me feel really sad and I wish I could comfort you

I want to text my crush because I haven't seen her in 2 weeks. She's a lousy texter and I can't tell if she likes me or not because her mood changes a lot.
And I get ridiculously nervous when I text her. I only had an actual text conversation with her once. I can't meet her irl until next week or longer.
Texting makes me anxious as fuck.

why can't i be happy
why am i so lonely

Fuck, I'm so damn lonely. I fantasize pretty much constantly about having a gf and I feel so pathetic and needy doing it but I just can't stop, I literally just don't know what else to think about. My brain pretty much just defaults to it now, it actually requires an active effort to not do it. Oh, and have you seen that picture that says "man loses additional bit of hope he did not know he even had"? That's kind of how I feel right now. I didn't think my depression could get any worse but has started to over the past few weeks. It used to be just me constantly beating myself up in my head but I'm too lazy to do even that now. I value my own life so little that I just laugh about it sometimes. I laugh at how absurd my situation is, how I could just get hit by a car and lay there spread eagle in the street and just be like "I'm dying lmao guess my life is over now". I don't even know what to do anymore. I have work tomorrow but I think I just won't go. I have one very close friend that I have known for years but he goes to college on the other side of the country. I think I'm going to ghost him. I don't know why, I think I'm so starved for attention that I get off to the idea of him worrying about me. Fuck, that sounds so pathetic. He's banging chicks and doing blow and hitting 3 foot skull bongs and tripping on REAL LSD and I'm ranting on this shithole website. For a long time now it has been my biggest dream to write and record an album of my own music but I have finally come to terms now that I have literally zero creativity. All those hours spent running scales and doing technical exercises and I can't write a melody to save my life. I'm going to hang myself with a low E string.

Years ago I dated a girl who had a clingy guy friend who became abusive because he felt he deserved her after all the years of being a Nice Guy, and started making up stories about me fighting him to make me look like a bad guy. And she fucking fell for it. She fucking left me because I was being a controlling dick!

And then he tells her to cut ties with me, and her friends and family just to be sure, and to quit going out, and to quit her job. and she fucking does. I was so fucking pissed off that this fat loser cunt convinced my GF to give up on her life and friends to be his slave. And she did!?
I tried moving on but part of me wanted some kind of revenge. I wanted to see her finally leave him. I fucking hated him and wanted her to betray him. I find out she did cheat on him a few times but he just abused her more until she quit trying.
Years later and they're about to get married. I fucking hated it. I just couldnt get over this some reason. I found the guys Tumblr and would stalk him just looking for some kind of way I could reach her or at least tell her family where shes located. I wasnt doign this for her safety. More just for my own jealous feelings and not getting closure.
I never found something out tho and just caved in and called the guy a cuck and gave up on it.

Find out months later that because I called him a cuck, he got paranoid thinking she was cheating on him again and this brought up his old fears and she finally just got sick of him and left. Shes back with her family again and is happy for once.

Oddly im only happy because the guy is miserable as shit and constantly post about drinking and killing himself.

>>17668270
I am going to lose you and I can't really take it.

I broke down and texted my onenitis I've been avoiding talking to after I cringe fully texted her how I felt and called her out on stringing me along. She didn't respond to my text and I sent another cringeworthy text. Why can't I stop?

>>17677320

Is there an app or something than can stop me from doing this? I've even deleted her number and yet I still know

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>go to trip to another country
>buy only 9 keychains to give away to my friends because shit's expensive where i went, and i didn't even have enough money to buy something cool for myself
>"fug, let's see who gets nothing..."
>2 for my brothers, since I don't really get along with the rest of my family
>3 for my closest friends
>1 for my best friend
>the other 3 for other good friends that I haven't had the chance to talk to in months

>realize I almost had 3 left, if not because i had to think of not-actual-and-in-good-state friendships

>not even 10 people whom I could consider closest to me

Aaand now I'm sad.

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I spent four years and 6 digits to get a B.S. in information systems.
I was told this was the way to have a better life.
5 months later and ~75 applications later, I have had exactly ONE interview.
I'm basically penniless, and spend every day getting progressively more depressed/angry at the situation my country is in.
Indians have taken many of the jobs that would have been available to me IN MY OWN COUNTRY. My own fucking country enables these goddamn companies to work-visa these curryniggers into the nation, and take any entry level job i should be qualified for.
I have been told I should go on and do a Master's to get a job, but that's what I was told four years ago about a bachelor's.

This, in addition to having no gf for over a year, and the constant grating sense of failure, makes for a debilitating episode in my life.

I guess I'm at least a priveledged white male, right?
haha.

You honest to God made the biggest mistake of your life leaving me. Do you not know how much shit that I have lined up? Sure it'll take a bit of patience, but in the long run, do you know how fucking easy you would've had it? You honest to God would've never had to have lifted a finger. The amount of money I'll have coming in is obscene and I would've been more than happy to share it with you, with us living together like we always talked about. Oh well, that's 100% your loss, not mine. Actually, in hindsight, it's great I never told you about my money because you're cheating whore ass would've sucked me clean. I retract what I said earlier.

i need a hug /adv/
i don't know if i can do it anymore
i need to just get it out

>>17677062
I'm fine, don't worry. It's just the weird, sudden desire i feel. I'm certain if i gave in and actually stole it i would have much bigger problems than just longing them.

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I bombed all my midterms and now I'm on the edge of failing all my classes.
Doesn't help that failing in my degree is anything less than 80%. I feel so stressed and discouraged I want to just drop out. But I know if I drop out I might as well just kill myself because I'd get cut off from my family and I'd be homeless.
But if I fail these courses and have to repeat I won't be able to afford the rest of my schooling and will basically have drop out/kill myself for the same reasons.

I require ham. Bring me more ham, peasants.

>>17677464
Don't give up. Apply all of out being to your studies and you will achieve greatness. Never let you tell yourself no.

>>17677442
I wish I could give you a hug to rival metalgear.

>>17677464
go into a trade like plumbing or electrician work
Unless you're taking some hard STEM course or can get an internship, you'll be fucked and have wasted time just like me:
>>17677412
I was also in the same position as you, and had to take summer classes.
I put in a lot of effort to make it work, but its all wasted unless I spring for a masters for a chance at maybe getting a job.

>>17677194
Stop worrying so much about what other people do and do you. If you want something, get it. Don't take no for an answer. Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women. Anything less than your all will get you nowhere. Embrace it. Love it. Live it.

>>17677200
Then Don't lose them. Be the person you want to be, the person they want. You can't live your life as somebody else. You are you. If you embrace that and embrace positive thoughts, you will prevail.

I wish love was easier it just doesn't ever feel right for me. Sometimes I feel like everyone is in on a big secret with love that I just won't ever get. I want to make my relationship work so bad but it's so goddamn hard I hate it. Sometimes I think that if this is what love is, I don't want it.

Also I could use a smoke godammit

>>17677477
I'm so close to being done. I know I just need to power through. I just hate how high of standards my field is held to (education major), especially given how little we're paid. Like the fucking medfags just gotta skate by with a 2.0 in general and they'll likely be paid twice what I'll get in the end of my career. But I'm doing it for the other perks of the job rather than the pay.
>>17677484
I can't do physical labor of any kind, plus I mean I've already sank around 50K into my education, it'd be a waste to stop now. Besides, like I said above I'm in it for the other perks of the job. It's steady, I'll never have to worry about not getting a job because there will always be teaching jobs somewhere and the salary is enough for a single person to live off of. The schedule is top notch. Summers, weekends, and holidays off, plus the holiday breaks. And its fucking easy as hell. You make a lesson plan once every decade and just recycle it every year in between. Most of the time you can just copy another teachers lesson plan too.
I'm not really in it for the money obviously. As long as I'm not living pay check to pay check eating 2$ lean cuisines for my whole life I'm fine. But I value my free time and don't like to work hard. So I'm ok with trading off cash for those things.

I've somehow managed to become NEET. Like in the past I joked about it because my hobbies but it's really happened. I barely see friends, and the last time I did they even commented on how down I seemed.
I just don't know anymore. If I'm not on the net I'm daydreaming about hiking til I drop dead.

Hurry up and get back together with her instead of vaguely talking about your regrets somewhere you shouldn't even be. You've had two years of stewing in your regret over ending it with her, hurry up so you can stop. It's fucking disgusting every time you use anyone similar to her looks as a substitute, too

>>17677530
Just go for it man. Do what you want and do it well.

>>17677412
You fell for the degree trap.

A degree means nothing these days because companies actually can just send people of their own off to further learn about their task and get a degree while working for them.

You need work experience and that should've happened already while you were working on your degree. You have a degree you don't need a maters degree with no work experience all you'll end up being is a more expensive worker with still no work experience.

Normally you should be having at least 1 year working experience after your ba degree.
Get work experience now and do your master degree once you do have a job you work for a while and then get your masters to force a raise.

Don't blame other people you obviously did something wrong, people actually like to hire domestically because those ''curryniggers'' require a fuckton of extra work and paperwork not worth it for the employer when they can get a worker who requires less work for them. You don't have the portfolio they have. You should've done Interships while studying. Whatever you do now GET INTERNSHIPS AND WORK EXPERIENCE

She will never know how I can't say no to her eyes even if I wanted to

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Have you ever accidentally called your girlfriend mom? It is way worse than calling your teacher mom.

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So there's this girl I sat next to in lecture and she's Chinese. The language barrier isn't that much of a problem and I think I like her.

>Sit down in lecture, she's happy to see me
>talk about inane shit, make her laugh
>almost as autismo as I am, seems to be shy/nervous and fidgets with her hair and pen
>(I don't think it's due to me making her uncomfortable, but I might be wrong)
>As soon as lecture ends she seems very busy and doesn't want to chat
>Ask her out, she must have misinterpreted "lets hang out" because she got defensive and didn't understand my intentions (I think)
>Week later, ask her out again, she agrees but makes shitty excuses as to why she can't this weekend.
>Stop going to lecture
>Come back to lecture, "I've been missing you"
>Seems to be more attentive than before, trying to start conversation
>Her stomach growls and it sounds like a fart, she perks up and seems super embarassed, staring down at her desk
>Don't acknowledge it because it seems the right thing to do (in retrospect I should have laughed it off)
>After lecture
>"hey let's get lunch this weekend"
>She becomes reserved and suggests next weekend since she has lots of exams
>"Yeah, sure, whenever"

I saw her with a female friend getting dinner saturday night. I think I want to stop asking her out because 3 times to get told some other time seems too much.

Not sure I'm barking up the wrong tree and she's disinterested, or she's just shy and I should continue trying.

You spent several hundred dollars on what is basically a fucking body bag. No, I do not want to blow you while you're in it. You look like a fucking corpse.
Does anyone else have a significant other who is into weird shit? How do you deal?

>>17668270
We haven't spoken in over a year, and the last words she said to me were "I don't hate you, but thinking of you brings up memories and makes me sad."

I couldn't afford to live on my own anymore so I moved to a new state, to live with my family who moved here a year and a half ago. Apparently, she moved to the same town a few months before I did. She's showing up in my recommendations on social media a lot lately. My family keeps bringing her up in conversation.

I don't know anybody down here and therefor don't get out much besides job hunting, and I don't really know how to make new friends. None of my old hobbies seem to interest me anymore and I can't seem to get invested into anything new that I try.

I thought I was over her. It's been so long and I was doing so well without her. I can't get her out of my head, lord knows I've tried, and I want to talk to her again, but I know she wants nothing to do with me.

I don't understand what's wrong with me. Am I just trying to find some familiarity? Am I trying to reach back to happier times, since I'm unhappy now? Or do I just lack the ability to move on? If so, what has this last year been, when I wasn't feeling like this?

Just wanted to tell someone
There's this chick who had a crush on me all through high school but I didn't like her back then. A few years later she got her first gf and transformed into a sexy lesbian and now I like her but she's been with this girl for like 5 or 6 years so she's off limits.
They break up last month so I go over to her house to drink and console... Which turns into a night of making out and cuddling and talking. It was amazing. A few days later she told me she wasn't into it and she got over me years ago and that I should've flirted with her years ago when she was with her gf when she was actually interested? She told me she sees me as just a friend.
So fuck her. She got my emotions up for nothing.
I end up messaging her much more attractive ex saying we can hang out if she wants to because girl #1 is a tool. She says yes.
Next night, last night, we have a dope night of hanging out and carving pumpkins and whatnot. When bed time comes I can tell she's not keeping her distance from me... She said "sorry I'm a cuddlebug." and I said "well do you want to cuddle?" and she said "yes please." 5 min later she says she wants to kiss me. 1 min later her clothes are off and she's riding me. Thats how I lost my lesbian v-card that I've been waiting to lose for years.
18 hours of sleep later, I'm awake and my cooter is bruised.

What is with this fucking month with people fucking with me? First my ex (who fucking left me not just you know in the relationship but also moved 1000s of miles away) thinks it's a good time to text me a bunch and when I don't respond he thinks it's okay to send fucking flowers with a cryptic and sentimental message on it. That I promptly threw into the garbage. THEN the one person who I don't think I'll ever get over but also who I never want to see again texts me out of the blue. Like oh hey how are you let me just ruin you for the rest of your life and never let you have a normal relationship because I've severely traumatized you. Oh okay cool I'll just you know cry forever.

And just as I'm ignoring those assholes I kinda meet someone from a dumb ass website and it goes well and I'm interested. Like maybe I won't fuck it up. I know I'm super crazy and a lot to handle and I'll probably die alone. And this mother fucker flakes on me every chance he gets. I want to like date him but he's making it so hard. Just like stop it so I can forget about the assholes that haunt my past. Also so we can have sex and I won't feel like a whore.

Say it to my face you little bitch. Try me.

No, I don't like you. That's already been established. No, I won't tell you goodbye because I don't care about bidding you a farewell.

Next time I see you, if I even do, I'll ask you what you said about me. Just to see if you have any balls.

Those are my friends you fake piece of dog shit.

They have my back, like I have theirs.

You needed to be called out again. Apparently the first time wasn't enough, kek.

Little liar bitch boy. Good luck with no friends.

You alienated yourself.
>remember that

I told an /a/non to fuck off today. I feel the worst.

>>17678264
>/a/non
You did the right thing. That whole board is cancer.

Last year i had a manic episode and dove off a pier into shallow water. I smashed my ankle to dust. Literally. First four xrays they couldn't read it. I spent about eight months stuck to my bed with an external fixator. When i went outside with my dog this guy checked me out but i was shy and too nervous to wave back.

I was on grindr at the time out of boredom. One day a profile opens up at his location. He meets with someone but turns off location. I write no cruisers plz as my headline. He goes off and gets with a load of guys as a result. Then i stop going on and i think i heard him crying or moaning with another lad. (lived close enough).

I say lol thanks. As in thanks for making it easy to get over. He was outside my house the next morning ready to talk to me.

Long story short is that i think it turned out he loved me. And did so for a long time. But he's a very sexually driven man and i'm a virgin that was very nervous about it. It got really messy. Guys he got with made bitchy comments about me on their profiles. I've been insulted in town because he's popular and i'm a hermit.

I dropped out of college and plan on leaving even though i have a limp and no skills or qualifications. I'm terrified but being here makes me cry every day. To think someone who did such sweet and romantic stuff one day would then do such hurtful and spiteful stuff the next.

And that everyone is in his corner even though i always tried to be a good person. The thing is i had support at the start. People were nice with me but i guess i'm bipolar and i freaked out and just made my life fucked beyond repair.

I've never been this depressed in my entire life and that's saying something. My parents said they would help me move but i have no contacts. No job opportunities. I have nowhere to go. All i need is a place to stay. My foot is back on track and i'm good with pain. All i need is a room. But i just can't find any anywhere.

Took longer than expected, but tomorrow is the day. I've already packed- probably too much. $5 to my name, winter is setting in, and I'm about to lose what little I had left. I suppose I'll be lucky if I survive 2 weeks. Packing was more of a ritual than anything, I know it'll either be stolen or I won't be able to find a decent place to stash it. Being that it's going to be my first time, and that it's going to be during the worst possible time of the year, I'm not holding out much hope for anything long term. Food is a bit of a concern, as I was already not eating much. Ideally, I'd set up along the river though I'm sure that's what other people have thought as well. Plenty of unmoderated business centers to warm up in, and the library is fairly close by. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about work yet, as I don't have enough money to set up a PO box, not to mention my chances of actually getting hired are a bit shit due to a poor educational and experience background. I'd like to utilize what time I have left to faff about like this, but I also want to spend what little time I have left with my girl. I don't want to burden her, and the sooner that I'm gone, the sooner she can find somebody who can actually support her. That's not a very enjoyable thought, but I guess it's a little late for that. I can only hope that she doesn't love me nearly as much as I'd loved her. It's believable enough, I suppose. She'll probably go back to her ex like she had always wanted. My only friends left long ago. I don't blame them, there isn't much here. I've never hungered for much, which is ultimately probably why I've failed.

I'm sorry, Mom. I know you'd have me, but I think this has gone on long enough. I won't kill myself, so hopefully no matter which way this goes, you'll be able to hold some hope.

I'm sorry, M. You've got your own problems to deal with, you don't need mine. I've failed you. I love you, and I hope you never grow up. The world needs fun individuals.

>>17678237
That is why you're writing it here? Seems like you're the bitch boy.

I'm trying to give up on the notion of marriage.

I'm really trying.

And then, once I've given up, I can wait... and wait... until I meet someone who inspires me to believe again.

I hope.