HIV+ Boyfriend

>>17660634
You probably already have it.

Is your bf a junky, fag, or ex prison bitch?

>>17660634
Risk is never zero. Consider that having sex with him means that you're constantly exposed to it, and sooner or later you might get it.
HIV isn't extremely easy to get, especially if he is medicated and the virus is undetectable.
What you are doing has extremely low risk and it is generally safe.
Keep using condoms for vaginal sex.

>>17660634
>is it just a matter of time before i catch it?
yes. I hope you don't have alot of time invested so you can get out. I would be very angry he didn't tell you before having sex. No I would be livid and a dealbreaker he didn't tell you so you could decide before fucking you, protection or not.

>>17660650
good point. OP needs to get tested

>>17660655
This.

>>17660634
>yesterday my bf told me he is hiv+ and undetectable.
However low risk it is, that's the sort of thing you're obligated to tell a partner BEFORE you have sex. Do not have sex with him again, do not stay in a relationship with him. He violated your trust.

>>17660668
I really love him though. he was born with hiv
im just scared i might contract it even when using condoms and not doing any oral. we were always very careful since the start, but it still nags me

OP there's HIV prevention drugs now. Look it up

>>17660705
Maybe I'm just prejudiced, but I wouldn't be comfortable with that. Even if condoms never broke, which they occasionally do, user error can reduce their effectiveness significantly, and if you're like me (careful but still a normal, fallible person) that would really weigh on the mind. Even though the risk of transmission is small (and it is, if he's undetectable and you always use condoms correctly) that would really keep me from enjoying sex at all.

And again, that he didn't tell you before now is just beyond the pale.

>>17660725
not yet on europe
>>17660728
in theory, if we always perfectly used condoms ( which we have) there's no risk?

>>17660705
No one is saying anything about how he contracted hiv but he fucked you knowing he had it and should have told you. Instead he kept it a secret, fucked you, had you fall in love with him and then spring this life threatening shit on you. You do know it is incurable right and if you get it and the two of you break up then you will have to tell the next guy or perhaps take the cowardly, selfish route like your current bf and trick the guy.

>>17660785
telling you OP you had better get tested now. It may already be too late

>>17660634
If his viral load is truly undetectable, you can safely have bareback sex and let him jizz inside you.

Recently, the ban on HIV positive doctors performing invasive of exposure-prone procedures (e.g. surgery) was lifted for people who have undetectable viral loads. Think about that. Your surgeon, the person who is cutting you up and who could get get and expose you to their blood, may have HIV. They would only lift this ban if there was certainty that it would be safe to do so.

>tl;dr just let me cum in your ass already, Jennifer

>>17660797
it probably is not. we always took care and im pretty paranoid with stds anyway

>>17660815
but have you been tested OP

>>17660815
>Paranoid with stds
>Yet still sleeps with someone infected with aids
??

>>17660822
too soon for any reliable test yet. i had sex with him 2 days ago, and the first time was a week ago.

Grab him by the pussy

>>17660830
then fucking stop fucking him

>>17660865
impossible lol

Get HIV then you can have unprotected sex with him.

>>17660634
undetectable is a misleading word, it only means he has a reduced chance of transmitting it.
Any fluids from him, from saliva (when he has sores or bleeding gums) to bodily fluids will have a chance of infecting you, this can be through

The law of large numbers works with HIV just like everything else, the more you have intercourse with him, the more likely you are to be exposed to it, all it takes is a condom breaking or him busting a nut further than you both anticipate and you could end up with it getting in your mouth or in your eye.

Example
Not all black people are rapists and murderers, but they are over represented in crime statistics when compared to how much they represent in the US population.
If you were going to pick 5 random black people from the US, you might not meet a rapist or a murderer.
If you pick 20, 50 or 100, you have a significantly increased chance of meeting one.

The more you do with your HIV boyfriend, the more likely you are to get exposed to the HIV virus, and the treatment if you are suspected of getting it involves a lot of medications that fucks you up for months on end, which might not stop it.

Ignore >>17660654
>What you are doing has extremely low risk and it is generally safe.
If you are coming into contact with someone who has HIV at any point there is a risk, a low one, but a risk none the less.
we're talking 1 - 5% each time, and your partner isn't going to be "undetectable" all the time.
While someone will be rushing to say "b-but 1 - 5% is extremely low" remember that statistic is for each time, not over your lifetime.

For the sake of an example picture a 100 shot cylinder in a revolver.
This gun might have 1 to 5 shots in it.
You might fancy your chances playing russian roulette, but you know there's a 1 - 5% chance of death.
Except instead of a death sentence, you have a lifetime of medication, have to inform all sexual partners, get stigmatised and generally looked down upon.

Source: I'm a nurse.

>>17660896
source on 1-5%
he has been undetectable since he was 2, always below 50

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>>17660873
>impossible lol
Enjoy your niggerpox then

>>17660912
>source on 1-5%
I'm not going through all my books just to get you a picture so you can say "well it isn't what I was told/read on a blog/what my boyfriend told me/what someone's anecdote says".
I remember the number because it is an easy number to remember and I deal with a lot of gays asking similar questions.

It doesn't matter if he tells you he has been undetectable all his life, or even if he is telling the truth.
The point is, at some point YOU WILL CATCH IT.
Then you can enjoy the months of drug treatments which include side effects like cluster headaches, migraines, being unable to hold down food, insomnia and feeling like a zombie trying to make sure it doesn't infect you when he goes "the count is higher now, don't know how that happened".
He probably doesn't want to tell you the entire truth about it because he doesn't want to lose his chance at a normal relationship, like I said, there is a stigma surrounding HIV, and in my line of work if we see fluids from someone with HIV it is treated as a biohazard, because it is one.

The safest way to not get HIV from him is to not come into contact with ANY of his fluids, condoms can break, cuts and sores can form in his mouth, you can't always feel these things and you aren't going to check the saliva for blood before you kiss each time.
A small chance is still a chance, remember the russian roulette with the 100 shot cylinder revolver? play it as much as you like, but you will shoot yourself eventually.

He decided to tell you only after having sex, which on its own is an untrustworthy and shitty thing to do. Do you really want to fuck around with your life like that just for a piece of ass? You need to report this guy and prevent him from doing the same thing to any other partners he decides to fuck over as well.

>>17661336
yeah, im meeting him tomorrow and it will be over soon.

>>17661336
and hopefully im still negative

>>17660634
What the hell? He just told you yesterday? Dump. Him.

>>17660634
Also if he is HIV positive and knows it, how is it "undetectable" exactly? He's fucking HIV positive. And infecting you with it knowingly without telling you about it is literally first-degree murder and can land him in prison.

>>17661370
>>17661375
Good on you anon. I'm sorry, I know it's probably hard, but it was a pretty huge deal that he didn't tell you he was positive before sex. It's a pretty horrible thing to do to another person.

TELL US HOW IT GOES, OP.

I AM GENUINELY INTERESTED IN HOW THIS GOES.

>>17661399
Undetectable means that he is on medication for HIV and there is a very low lebel of virus in his Blood.

>>17660634
Get tested and dump his ass immediately. The fact that he didn't tell you this up-front makes him an asshole of the highest caliber.

>>17660896
I am the poster you told her to ignore.
Recent studies (I can link the sources, if you wish) found that chances of transmission on a year of unprotected (no condom, ejaculation inside) sex with a partner who has undetectable HIV levels are 0.5% in straight couples and 1% in gay couples.
If he is really undetectable the risk is very low, especially because they used precautions.

She still needs to get tested and she still should dump him for exposing her to the risk.

The truth of the matter is yes, you could potentially get it from all of those things. You could potentially get it from merely kissing him. It's rare and unlikely, but it is possible.

If you do decide to stay with him never, EVER do anal.

How is it possible that a man with AIDS has a gf and I don't?

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>>17662048
It doesn't work that way

>>17662290
That's literally the meaning of the word undetectable in this case.
The concentration of virus in his blood is particularly low because of ART.

>>17662323
It doesn't in any way lower your chances of getting it though

>>17662329
Of course it does.
A HIV-negative person who has heterosexual sex with an HIV-positive person with a undetectable viral load has 96% (some studies suggest 99%) less chances of being infected.
There was a pretty broad study on heterosexual couples having unprotected sex with a HIV + partner with an undetectable viral load for a year and none of them got infected. It is thought that the chance of getting HIV from a partner with undetectable viral charge, while having unprotected vaginal sex and he is ejaculating inside, is between 0 and 0.5% over the course of a year.

>>17660896
This is why nurses shouldn't give out medical advice.

>had sex with him the first time a week ago
>I really love him
um

Meeting him in a few minutes. Were gonna have dinner, go to the movies and maybe breakup sex. I just gotta be careful as usual

>>17660873
It's either break up, or accept you'll eventually be exposed to HIV.
I'd break up with him, your priorities might be different tho.

>>17663153
>and maybe breakup sex
don't worry about protection, you're so dense the virus won't be able to get inside you.

Never have sex with this guy again. Move on. He can join some hiv+ and meet someone new so don't feel bad for him. Don't risk your health for this guy.

>>17660896
>nurses thinking they can make calls

This is why everyone in the medical field hates you. You join a union so you can be as shit and bossy as you want to be when even the law states you don't have the expertise to do shit without the doctor's ok.

Nurses need to be slapped down.

>>17661336
This

It's incredibly fucked up. That's beyond 'kind of shitty', that's outright malicious. Like, literally criminal.

>>17660634
Actually the virus is smaller than the "fabric" in which condoms are made, so there's no safe way to fuck someone which is HIV positive and not get contaminated sooner or later.

>>17663489
kek

>>17664542
>Roland argued that "the rubber comprising latex condoms has intrinsic voids [pores] about 5 microns (0.00002 inches) in size. Since this is roughly 10 times smaller than sperm, the latter are effectively blocked.... Contrarily, the AIDS virus is only 0.1 micron (4 millionths of an inch) in size. Since this is a factor of 50 smaller than the voids inherent in rubber, the virus can readily pass through."

>>17660634
bf is hot
you either dump him or take him as your soulmate

>>17660634
run bitch.

Its done, we broke up. Best sex ive had yet too.

>>17665531
Take a HIV test in 2-3 months and avoid sex in the meantime.

>>17665547
I doubt i caught it, no contact whatsoever with blood, precum or cum

>>17665670
Of course, but it's irresponsible to risk someone else's health anyway. You'd be legally responsible for it, too.
Do a test in 3 months and avoid having sex.

>>17665670
>no contact whatsoever with blood, precum or cum

putting a lot of faith in condoms.
12% of them fail.