Just Fucking

i have a job, i'm good at what i do. but i hate it. i can't go a week without having a anxiety shitshow with myself. I want to leave everything behind and travel. but i don't think i have the balls to do something so different.

>>17659578
i have to go to my cbt-therapy session in one and a half hours and i have accompished nothing we talk about in our earlier sessions and the reson i go to the meeting is to relive stress and held get rid of my GAD but it only makes me more anxious and i feel so worthless i just wanna jump of a roof fuck i don´t know what to do

>>17659586
I know this feeling. Just wantinh to quit, but being scared of ending up in a worse place. Part of this fear comes from lacking a base to return to. Having few friends and no so makes you scared of losing the little social company and friends you have at work.

>Meet girl on tinder
>Go out on couple dates
>Same time as I go out with girl on the first date I meet someone else on tinder

>Dating one girl while talking to the other

>Feel kinda guilty because I really do like the first girl, but all my experience and everyone around me tells me not to get my hopes up, put all my eggs in one basket, play the field, dont get too invested too soon etc.

Modern dating is like this sociopathic thing where you spend time with someone and have a really nice time and connect and develop feelings

But the logical and socially acceptable thing to do is to not emotionally invest in this one girl and continue seeing others until you're "official"

So you end up having feelings for a girl, but then flirting with other girls because you "should"
And then you ending feeling like you wanna meet up and fuck someone else too!

It feels wrong and right at the same time.

The love of my life's stubbornness cost us our relationship and I had to break up with him. He refused to see things beyond his own perspective.

>>17659661
I know that feel bro. If you want to try and settle down with one, go for it.

>>17659578
Sorry to myself.

A,
Fuck you. We had so much fun last year, time would just fly away so quickly... I honestly thought, that we could establish a normal relationship. When I was abroad, you told me that I was your sympathy, not only a friend. When I got back, you kept making out with every guy on the campus and completely forgot the words you've said. You keep using the word love as if it's some cheap excuse to make others more lively. What's worse, is that you were like a mentor to me, you were so smart and charming but I guess I underestimated you. I honestly want you out of my life although for now it's impossible. It was a mistake meeting you.
Sincerely, R

It's because I'm pretty amazing, Alena. Remember that. And so are you, but just a little bit more. Don't forget that. You have a good, kind and generous heart. Never lose that. And if you're a closet crazy, you hide it well ;p. Until next year

>>17659710
I'm that guy. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Why do I keep getting involved with girls with shitty home lives?

And why do all of them stem from having hyper-Christian families?

I just finalized the divorce from my now Ex wife of 5 years.
I really didnt want to but neither of us tried. Now im 26 and single and feel like i will regret not taking her back after she cheated on me for the rest of my life......
hurt so bad i want to hang myself.

>>17659710
I was that guy, too.

>>17659868
You'll be okay anon. Just distract yourself.

Girlfriend and I of four years broke up three months ago. We've been talking and seeing each other since then, but yesterday she tells me we shouldn't talk for awhile, that she loves me but if its meant to be we'll find each other again.

I know that means we should date other people, and I will, but it leaves things so open ended to cut off contact, and I honestly did think, and still do, that she's the love of my life.

Is there hope that we'll both realize we're the ones for each other by not talking? Or should I move on. Im pretty crushed by the whole situation.

>tfw losing weight
>but not on the areas I want
Man... Now my butt is starting to look sad and saggy as well as my boobs. My legs have lost some weight, but the rest of my body looks pretty much the same, and now my body shape looks like a bad rectangle/triangle. This sucks.

>>17659578
College presentations are bullshit. Practice hasn't helped. All the stress and anxiety and time put into preparing just distracts me from assignments and studying that would actually help me understand the material.

In a real work environment I would actually have experience and knowledge about the subject being presented and would have info to share that others weren't already familiat with.

>>17659890
If you've been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder you can maybe talk with someone at your college's disability center and see if they can work something out for you. Like an alternative assignment or something.

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S.J.P
Its a shame that everything went this way.
I miss talking to you
I miss you messaging me
I miss talking to you through the mic
I miss your audios
I miss your photos
I miss the few times we played together
I miss loving you.
I miss you.
Perhaps I really misunderstood you, Perhaps i was wrong about my suspicions of you not loving me anymore but i just wanted your attention , to feel loved like you used to love me, i wanted you to count on me when you felt down , to know that you werent ignoring me.
Whenever i said something nice to you would just ignore my words , when i said "i love you" you said "your cat is so cute" , when i asked you to play with me , you ignored it , then proceeded to play with other people. when i wanted to talk to you , you took a lot to reply back.
Perhaps you didn´t do it on purpose , perhaps you didn´t noticed , perhaps you were doing something else , but all that stuff made me feel unloved , Unimportant , made me feel like i wasn´t your boyfriend at all , and perhaps you didn´t even considered me that anymore at that point.
Im sorry for everything i´ve done to you , i wish i could´ve supported you more during these tough times you were having , or at least you told me you were having.
I hope we can talk again someday. I dont think i´ll be able to get over you anytime soon.
Love V.D

>>17659887
You have to have been obese for your skin to not tighten naturally after losing weight

Why the fuck do I think that it still may work out with her in the end?

Logic dictates other wise, but my gut is very certain in it happening

Going to uni was a bad idea.

>>17659884
Yeah theres a chance. My gf of 3 years that i broke up with 1 1/2 years ago just texted saying she missed me and all that. Theres hope man.

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Im all alone, but not feeling lonely.
I got rid of all the people in my life, some cared, but i didnt want to stay friends with them, because of all the others they would pull with them.

Im an asshole for it, i know it, and i wont change it.

I dont miss them. Only thing i am missing is the reason to get out of my house. There is none for it.

Today is your birthday, or tommorow, or wtv i could never remember it. I hope you have nice time and choke to death.

Only thing i care about now is finishing uni and finding pussy to pound. Nothing else bothers me anymore.

Im glad i left you all.

Love, M.

>>17659868
I know that feel. I got divorced around your age. I hate that I'll always have to check divorced on forms. Hopefully you don't have kids and can just move on

>>17659578
Fuck your dad. You are the best thing that ever existed and will be existing in my life. But fuck your selfish arrogant doctor dad who doesn't know what the fuck a person's right is. I fucking hate your dad and I don't know how I'm gonna be handling a father-in-law I truly hate from my guts for a whole life. The worst part is you love your parents normally and I have to fucking act like I love them like my own parents so you won't get sad. FUCK YOUR DAD FUCK HIM.

>>17659578
I fucking hate anime so much

Why can't this fucking board have a fucking update button at the bottom of the page and have the little popup box where I can reply to each post rather than having to scroll back to the top and lose my place
fuckety fucking fuck cunts

every other board has it

>>17660231
Install 4chanx on Chrome, or eqv. on ff.

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Im hanging on by a thread and everyday I contimplate taking my own life.

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>past two jobs didn't work out (I resigned)
>only held one job for a long time but the business closed (it was small and I liked it better than large stores)
>family tells me to go for jobs I normally wouldn't
>get job at distribution center
>try my best but anxiety and puking all the time
>get let go today

I'm the most pathetic person.

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>>17660292

Same. What's worse is I think people are catching on since I'm becoming too tired to keep up the happy act I've been pulling. I keep thinking about death multiple times a day and I know that's not right.

Dunno where to go or who to talk to. I've no money and my family has hit hard times financially. Tried getting a job but it hasn't worked out yet.

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>>17660445
I know people are starting to notice and i dont think the "im tired" excuse is working anymore.

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I loathe you with a burning passion. Nothing angers me more than hearing your name, I'm glad you and him became the laughing stock and got exactly what you deserved. An insecure faggot going through a edgy ''phase'' getting fucked by an absolute retard who won't even pass his diploma. You're an absolute joke

My relationship with my narcissistic religious parents is one-sided. I have a sister who moved out and is estranged from them, and my parents think I'm on their side. I'm not. I'm just bad at conflict and I don't want to risk getting kicked out because I have nowhere else to go. But when I do eventually move, I'm going to cut contact too.

i love you and our 3 years together, but youre distracting me from school, and you won't stop with the arguments. I love you but I don't really know what to do. I just want to do well in school and I feel like I cant do that when I am on my phone constantly trying to console you. I hate what we have done to each other, the cheating the fighting, but i also always love our time together and i feel like ill never meet anyone who can match up to you and ill never laugh as much again, but if we have to stop just so that i can do well in school again like I used to and get a job in my field then so be it.

I know we're moving on, but don't mean I stopped loving you

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>three job rejections in a day from places I applied to personally
>lady at employment agency tells me I'm beyond their assistance

Being a shut-in for years has fucked me no matter my great performance and dedication to past jobs.

I hate this. I fucking hate this so much.

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I still think about you, and I watched a vid you were in, earlier. I miss you dude, you were the closest I think I've ever been to love. Even if we did admit our feelings, I still think online dating is useless. You were a good friend and even though you made that big mistake, I've forgiven you because you found out the truth after that happened. I forgave you because I learned that you went after those people who lied to you about me. You're a good guy, and since I can't be the one to love you, I hope you find a girl who loves you very much. I wish I could talk to you, but what is stopping me is that group that we were both in, I heard you were still hanging with some of them, and while they are not the ones who did damage to me, I'm paranoid. I don't feel like I have a crush on you anymore, but the thought of you is nice to remember.

>>17659887
Start muscle training on the "saggy" areas.
Stop eating salt and drink more water, if you havent started that already.
I have the same problem with my rear end and thighs but the muscle training works. Now I just have to stop with the salt... So very hard since I love it!

Afraid to tell doctors how I feel because they might fucking baker act me again.

Wondering where in town is a sturdy brick wall across from a road and how fast do I have to go on my bike to hit it.

Newly single and it feels awful. I just want to die.

I had a dream last night where the mere act of a girl hugging me made me elated

loneliness is fucking brutal sometimes

I went 8 months with a girl without having sex because I tried a couple times and I was so nervous that I lost my boner. Then it became a 'thing' that I had to 'overcome' and it no longer felt like the nice fun thing that I wanted it to be so I just never initiated and nor did she (supposedly out of concern for my issues)

8 months of having a guaranteed shot at losing my virginity and I just fucking gave up. I'll never get over that.

Fuck you and your flaccid penis.
Don't blame me when I cheat on you. You'd rather watch porn and I'd rather a cock.

I think i made a friend in college today and its amazing.

>>17659578
the reason you were sad was becasue of a side effect of your pills. Im your stalker , I know everything. Listen to me fucktard.

>>17660904
Explain further

>>17660048
Thanks man.

>>17660966
Not mcuh to explain. Went to a lecture, sat down next to a dude. Very neat looking. Did some small talk, nothing special.

the lecturer asked us to print some worksheet which i didnt have because i didnt attend the last couple of lessons. So about 3/4 throught the lesson, when we started to use the work sheets, i packed my things and prepared to leave early.

>pack bag
>new friend looks a bit worried
>are you leaving?
>yeah
>will you be back tomorrow?
>maybe idk
>i could copy the worksheets for you until tomorrow, y'know
>thanks but i think ill print em myself

So that was our exchange. I think he diggs me and ill try to chat him up again when i get a chance.

>>17660991
Are you hoping this manifest into something more serious or do you want it to stay platonic

>>17660950
I-I've reported you, they'll be coming for you...
just kidding.
So why do you stalk people, mistake? (go into detail).

I recently bought a shirt because it reminds me of this guy.

It's one thing to have feelings for someone who obviously doesn't return them, I didn't think I could sink any lower than that.

>>17661025
who knows. These things tend to have a will of their own. Im just glad i met someone nice.

Also not serious as in romantically, we are two boys!

I WANT TO FUCKING DIE

EVERY FUCKING DAY

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I really want to drink but it's gonna kill me.
Between the diabetes and SSRI's it would kill me a lot faster but I think that's kinda the point.

I have no idea what I want to do in life and it depresses the fuck out of me

I'm on my period and I want MORE ICE CREAM

Tied up last loose end with ex. Felt good. Protip: don't date emotional dependent persons ever. Same goes for passive persons during Sex.

If I would have talked to my ex a week ago we could be back together.

But she found a new guy. Now i'm lost.
this feels like the end of the world.

Didn't used to have this attitude but the world and the years have not been kind.

I'm tired of friends and family. I sacrificed my twenties so my family could stay afloat through the recession. My father got deathly ill when I was 23. He recovered but never got back into the swing of, you know, steadily working and holding up his end of the deal. They're grateful, but that is time I will NEVER get back.
Friends I've had since the end of high school and since my ill-fated trek through community college... so busy all the time. Or they moved onwards and upwards with their lives--and honestly I'm very happy for those ones.
The rest are perpetually needy leeches, losers and fuckoffs who want you to do everything for them and it seems like only they want to hang out when it suits them.

Turning grey prematurely. Don't sleep much. Male pattern baldness. Look like a homeless tweaker now that I've stopped giving a fuck.

Disillusioned, I've already accepted the notion of "lover vs provider" and how the two ARE mutually exclusive. Decided that I'm not going to be the dumb provider schmuck. Done playing games. Kinda depressing alone but then again, when you only get women, tgirls, and squishy boy-toys that make you feel even worse???

The only thing I got going is that I am my own boss and work on my timetable since the work I do...well it's usually done by mexican folk who don't speak much english and they live like sardines--least THEY respect me. They still look at me weird cuz I'm a white guy doing their kind of work. They call me loco cuz I'm a white redneck and apparently losing my temper at trust fund babies means psycho: ride your $3K carbon in the road in front of me when there's a bike lane and yeah, I'm going to insinuate that the reason you show your ass to me in tight spandex is cuz you get pegged, and either want me to kick your ass or you want me to fuck you.

I just want my boyfriend to only look at me.

>>17660974
No problem, best of luck to you man im rooting for ya

This is the first time I've ever been in love. The only problem is she's 15 and I'm 21. Don't worry, I have no intention of asking her out or starting a relationship. No good could come of that for her or for me. But fuck if it doesn't hurt knowing that I'll never even have a chance to date her.

>>17661191
anon it's not the end of the world, trust me you'll find someone way better and it'll be better than what you had. If you got back with your ex all the drama would have lingered and you wouldn't be happy. Trust me, it's for the best.

I have to start distance myself from you, sorry, I can't handle both my depression and the confusion you inflict

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>>17661289
It's crazy how you go into panic mode and become blind to.
Thanks Anon.

>>17660445
I'm exactly in your situation. I live in the ass-end of nowhere without any means of transportation. I've tried to get a job for months, have had multiple interviews that have gone "well" but obviously not well enough.

Ive finally gotten to the point where I'm starting to think about death but I don't have the balls to go through with it. All I can do is exist.

What do you do to get through your days?

Guys I show interest in or want to take things to the next level with never show any interest in genuinely getting to know me as a person and it's getting increasingly frustiating/upsetting. It's the one thing I want most out of a relationship or another person - to be valued for my personality - not just my looks or my tastes in material things. Is an emotional connection too much to ask for? Apparently so. I'm really done being the one to put in all the effort and or being the only one to try and make things work. From now on, I'm straight-up dropping guys who don't ask follow-up questions without warning. I know it might seem a little extreme or harsh, but I'm fed up with being the one making all the effort.

My PS4 just broke. Won't take discs, power button and eject button don't work.

I work 50 hours a week. I pay $400 a month just to live in a room at my Grandmother's house. I don't have a girlfriend.

I know it's pathetic, but I am sincerely distraught right now. I spend all my extra cash on games... I use that thing for Netflix and Movies, too. All of that is gone, now. I might as well have nothing at all to show for my long days of work.

I am considering suicide or nervous breakdown

>>17661391
just save up for a new one dude. I know it sucks when something like that breaks but come on dude. suicide? All the spare money you get just put it towards a new one.

>>17659868
If you don't have kids, go to work on you. Make something (career, a dinette set, origami cheese grater) that you can show to others and be proud of. You'll attract other people and some of them will be good friends.

>>17659890
Real work environments are really not that different. Fake it till you make it!

>>17660892
:(

>>17661391
I recommend a different hobby. Vidya really doesn't impress anybody and like you said, you have nothing to show for it at the end of the day. Volunteering is an easy way to do something different and constructive. Ask a nearby religious organization (you don't need to buy into the god stuff). Or try Habitat for Humanity. My first time I nailed shingles and learned HVAC.

>>17659600
Maybe you should stop going there anon. I've had a much better time talking to loved ones and friends than ever going to therapy. I also got better therapy from chain-watching Star Trek TNG and snuggling with my cats than I ever did in a shrink's office. You're not worthless anon, you have zero reason to think that about yourself and it is illogical for you to. Maybe you were taught to think that throughout your life but it is not true. Teach yourself that. Learn to take care of yourself. Buy yourself a small gift each day and repeat, "I am just fine," whenever you think something bad about yourself. Find someone to talk to, or at the very least get a pet. Hang out in nature with bug spray, that is also good therapy. You are gonna be alright anon.
>>17659586
Look before you leap. Visit a place and get to know it before you decide to move in.
>>17659868
You won't regret it. Nixed my fiance after he cheated on me, now I wish he was dead, but at least I got through the pain and found better friends and a better life. You will be okay, just keep going, it's literally a drug withdrawal. Give it six months.
>>17659884
Love could be greater on your side than hers. I'd say it's better to move on, because if she valued you, she wouldn't do that to you.
>>17659991
You deserve better!!!!

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Holy shit! I live in a small ass town...I'm mildly bi, and have always been...I'm comfortable being a guy and you'd never know I was bi if I never told you.

So a tgirl just hit on me and gave me a card. An erotica ts model to boot...Strangest shit about it is we lived in this town of less than 30K population for years and we never ran into each other...

Though I have friends who are cool with gays and lesbians... none of 'em seem to acknowledge that bi exists (with them either you're straight, gay or lying, no inbetweens) and...they make disparaging remarks about tgirls. Yea I know they have XY chromosones and ultimately it's gay. But I look at this one (whose apparently a proud freak) and see this individual for who 'she' is--not for who she isn't.

It's really weird cuz I didn't think after 30 I'd run into this. My head is abuzz with possibilities but at the same time...I'm actually fuckin' nervous as shit.

Would U a trans?

I'm damn lucky I'm alive.

>>17660864
Don't tell a medical doctor about your issues unless they already have seen you for medical issues, because they'll discard anything you actually have if you're "depressed." As for being newly single, you can get over the person in 6 months if you distract yourself through it. You're going to be okay. It's hell, but you're going to. Find things you enjoy and throw yourself into them.
>>17660880
Been there. Wet dreams are better though.
>>17661079
>>17661162
You guys... check out http://www.balancingbrainchemistry.co.uk and these pills called Zembrin aka Sceletium tortuosum aka natural SSRI without many side effects. I tried saint john's wort but it makes me puke. Roll around on Peter Smith's website until you find something that you might be able to use. It helps.
>>17661200
Get rid of the leeches and the friends who don't give a fuck. Find things to make your life better. Don't ever stop fighting anon. Life will be worth it but only if you keep trying... eventually you will succeed.
>>17661279
Wait a few years. Maybe even a decade. If you still love her, maybe you could ask her out.

I really hate my fricking kink/fetish/paraphilia. It's so creepy and can dominate my mental thoughts. If it only concerned me or characters I've roleplayed i'd be fine i guess but it's more like it's always other people (never real life thank the lawd for small miracles) and always the violent, brutal, emotionally scarring kind of stuff. And it's always like this, with every fandom I join, I always end up fantasizing about some character or another. I'm currently obsessing over another character and I can never tell the player i rp with--even though it's been six freaking months. I'm still paranoid he's going to pick up on it somehow.

I can't get off to vanilla. I've gotten off on lesbian stuff but the orgasm is significantly weaker. This fucking blows.

As far as I know, too, I never had any problems in my childhood either, I distinctly remember getting turned on by a woman getting tied up in a bathroom and this stupid software demo game where a character needed to be rescued from being drowned (I would let the rope fall over and over and get turned on by the bubbles) at 11. I'm pretty normal otherwise, or so I like to think. I have a decent degree, a boyfriend and friends, no real mental disorder--So what the fuck, brain?

>>17661483
One of my best friends is trans. It's just being a type of human, anon, that's all there is to it. And hey, I consider myself a feminine man in a woman's body anyway. You have to be honest with yourself about who you really are, and transgirls are brave for actually standing up for that.

>>17661172
Same

>>17661494
I don't think you have a mental problem, I think you have a unique genetic predisposition to enjoy the thought of violent sex. But if it's creeping you out, then it seems you're at war with yourself. I hope you can find someone to talk to, like a friend, or hopefully your boyfriend.

a few hours ago i was sitting here thinking about how beta and lonely i was and was going to stay

but then i remembered i actually have plans with a girl this weekend, even if i don't expect anything to come of it, and that not even a year ago, i was way too beta to hang out with female friends, even platonically

i still do have a bit of trouble maintaining most of my friendships, but i'm getting there

might be bad form, but anyone got advice on continuing to meet new people in the middle of the semester, and/or how to keep the friendships going once they've started?

Fuck it! im so sick of being laughed at made fun of and looked down on. everyone thinks im a weirdo even those who i thought were my closest friends... turns out they just feel sorry for me.. i think i should suicide or disappear

>>17661580
I want to hug you.

>>17661509
I realize I didn't actually name the kink in my post so I guess I should clarify that it is rape and noncon, plus other related fin stuff. I've tried talking about it with other people but it's never fixed anything. And I always have the strongest urge to show what I've fantasized publicly, which is...yeah. Still, thank you for the support, anon.

>>17661560
I think the movie yesman had the right idea. For, say, a week or a month, commit yourself to saying 'yes' to something that you might otherwise decline. Also remember to text or somehow contact your new friend once a week, is my suggestion.

>>17661580
Please don't do it anon.

>>17661497
I agree, this one wasn't shy either, unlike so many.
Nervous for the social predicament that'll ensue, and complications.

I'm damaged goods in a few ways at least. :(

>>17661612
>remember to text or somehow contact your new friend once a week

i don't really know what to text someone about, honestly? other than keeping up with friends from high school, the only reason i text is to arrange to hang out

also i've also been trying to work on my anxiety about meeting new people by forcing myself to talk to random people in my class
is this effective if i can stick to it? (disclaimer: i just make small talk with them, i don't get their numbers to talk to them outside of class, and half the time i don't even ask them their name)

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>>17661378

It sucks. I don't believe I'll go through with it either but I'm to that point where my mind keeps looping the idea over and over.

I guess all we can do is keep trying. At this point I have a long list of places that I've applied to, followed up on, got rejected from, interviewed with but rejected, etc. It feels like I'm slowly running out of local places but I guess I'll keep hammering away. I try to tighten up or change my approach but so far it doesn't seem to be working.

>What do you do to get through your days?

It's usually job boards, music, 4chan, meditate, vidya, etc. Throw in reading comics or books too. I used to go out with friends, drink, etc. but now that money is suddenly an issue I can't really go out and need any little bit I have for gas should an interview pop up. I guess I'm fortunate enough to have a decent vidya collection (from a job years back) and some land to roam around and fish on so that's nice on bad days.

I used to draw a lot but I lost the drive for that a while back.

>>17661580
Maybe it seems awkward because you've never been able to fully express yourself? Ask yourself why that is, and why not so far as you being able to be yourself.

It's okay to be you. Confidence starts with being rooted in who you truly are.
So you're a little bit odd to people. Frankly anyone criticizing you for this is pot calling the kettle black. That's not on you, at all. This is them being dismissive dicks and cunts.

I've told /adv this before but now I'll add a caveat:
It's okay to be weird, it is NOT okay to be creepy
...unless you're Steven Ogg who can pull off confident creepy and make it still seem cool.

And besides, push your limits. You will find your thresholds, you might even find people weirder than you...like so much so that you have to put on the brakes. Don't be surprised to find that even at your weirdest, there's people who can out-weird even you.

There are real people out there. It'll take time but you will find them if you look. Someone out there will understand, because someone has to.

>>17661646
> I guess i'm fortunate enough to have a decent Vidya collection

Absolutely i'd love to have some video games to play outside of the few I have. The only thing I have to entertain myself is youtube and free to play games

I was interested in drawing but I wanted to learn to draw straight from imagination without a reference. Now that I found out you can't really do that without being gifted I don't really want to draw anymore. I could push the envelope and try to teach myself to draw without a ref but i'd have to accept i'd probably never learn how to do it lol

>>17661378
>I'm starting to think about death but I don't have the balls to go through with it

There is light at the end of the tunnel you will get the job you were looking for. When that happens all this waiting will be worth it. I've gotten thoughts about fantasizing about death before too and the way I get rid of them is realize i'm not yet really serious enough about any religion to qualify to get into any sort of heaven. So on the off chance heaven actually is real I wouldn't even commit suicide before getting extremely strict and serious about a religion. And if I did that i'd probably end up being so grateful to god for the life I had I probably wouldn't want to kill myself anyways

wish you would talk to me like how we used to

>>17661737
probable a different person, but i feel the same way

damn this one too, would someone mind linking me to the last thread pls?

Two of my best friends.

Another one shut the world off, won't speak to anyone.

The other shut me out.

I got pushed out of school by teachers who hated me, I got pushed out of my circle of friends by a couple of sociopaths, and now I'm losing my hobby that kept me on an even kilter.

I'm so tired /adv/, I just want to sleep and never stop dreaming.

>>17661811
Two of my best friends left the country*..

i dont know what to do with myself anymore. everyone has abandoned me

UGH I gained so much fucking weight ever since I got back and it's only been 2 months. Like what the fuck I hate myself. I've put on at least 8 pounds UGH. I just want to shed all this excess off. I'm full of self loathing. I'm seriously not going to eat anything but fruits and cereal for a good 2 weeks or however long it takes to lose 10 pounds. Then I'm gonna lose another 10 pounds by throwing up. Fuck my fatass and while I'm at it fuck people trying to get me to eat more UGH WHY DID THEY DO THAT.

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I don't love my wife anymore

adv sucks?

He's losing his interest in me as I fall for him more and more

In any other universe.

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I wish I could meet someone that wouldn't lose interest in me after realizing how much of a loser I am. I wish I was a more interesting person. I wish I had friends. Tonight really sucked, when it should of been the opposite.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Everything feels so cold.

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I didn't get out of bed today, I didn't eat or go to class and it's been two months since I put my dog down and I only feel worse every day

>>17661397
It makes more sense in context, trust me. I wouldn't kill myself -just- because of a broken PS4.

>just save it and buy a new one
>spare money

Sooo I'm supposed to just not vidya for, what, a month at least?

I can't do that. Some people crack a beer and watch sports after work to stay sane...I play my games.


problem I

>>17659868
>Getting married at 21
that was your first mistake

No you disgusting cunt! Don't you dare move back to this state! No one wants you here. And no one wants you there either, because you're a selfish, emotional leech, who refuses to take responsibility for past fuck-ups.
Either fix your damn self or die alone, where you can't hurt anyone else anymore!

I feel pathetic. I don't feel like doing anything. My life is a mess.
I'm too proud to ask others for help. Whenever I'm confronted with any uncomfortable situation, I just shut myself in.
I'm tired of all my friends. I don't hate them, but it's clear that our ways of life and points of view differ significantly, to the point that I simply don't enjoy their company anymore. I need to meet new people.

>>17662020
Have you considered PC games?

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>>17659578
I love a girl, who doesn't like me the same way.
I do everything in my power to try to maker her happy.
I've never seen a single smile, or a "thank you", so I don't know if I'm doing the right things.
But when the stars and the planets are aligned, and she decides to talk to me, God, I'm the happiest man in the world.
I'm know I'm getting cucked, but if I can protect her smile, just a little, I'm ok with that.
I don't find other women attractive anymore, just her.
Not only for her physique.
One day,I'm gonna confess my feelings, but I'm afraid she already know.
Kek

She found this other guy way too fast.
If I beat his face in would I feel any better?

It's my ex best friend's birthday today. 3 years ago today, she took me to a hockey game and it was genuinely one of the funnest nights of my life. I had so many friends back then but I have none of them anymore. We eventually just grew apart. I have no idea why but they all just stopped liking me and that fucks me up so much. I have no idea what's wrong with me and this isn't the only time this happened. I could be delusional and say it's them but I know I'm wrong. It's me, every friendship I've ever had has been fucked up and there's always one common factor, me. It's always been me and I don't know what part of me it is.

A part of me wishes she could see me now and how broken I am. I don't know what it would accomplish but at least they'd know I was trying and wanted our friendship to continue

>>17662067
Not to be a stickler for definitions. But, you can't be 'cucked' without already dating her.

Not sure what you think that word means, but it's short for 'Cuckolded' which means being cheated on.

Thank you for ghosting me and giving me herpes.

I'm alone. I'm a fat loser fuck that sits at home and does nothing. every girl I've ever loved never felt the same. recently fallen for a girl in my past that probably wants nothing to do with me. am I really that bad of a person? I don't know what to think. I'm a pussy. I'm self concious. I couldn't approach anyone. It's not as easy as everyone says it is. I've only got a couple of friends left that actually care but it just doesn't feel right. I can't talk to anyone about this stuff. I have to go on an anonymous image board to talk about my feelings and that's really the only place I can do it. not that it's a bad thing but I can never talk to anyone about how I feel. I feel a burden to people if I do. I'm just a sad fuck. Sorry.

>>17662003
So sorry for your loss

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>>17662166
Its a dog you fucking cuck

Its not even sentient

Please kill yourself.

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>>17662067
>But when the stars and the planets are aligned, and she decides to talk to me, God, I'm the happiest man in the world.
I'm sorry, anon. I think most of us have been there a few times before, though. It's rough.

To be completely honest. My reality has been demolished. I'm in a point in my life where I'm questioning my beliefs on reality. I am a very logical and scientific kind of person. I have to see it to believe it. But weird things keep happening to me. I've had drug induced trips that have brought me into crazy out of body experiences. And believe me when I say I know everything is in my mind. But what happened inside my mind makes me question all reality around me. Cause I have been sober for awhile now, and though I may sound like but case, I keep seeing these signs, these patternes, these connections that make so much sence.... and to be honest I'm terrified that what if. What if what I experienced is actually true. What if there is something bigger in this universe, and it tried to talk to me. What if I ignore this entitie simply cause id rather be ignorant. Idk what to believe. God has always been a very touchy subject to me. And the term god now a days is taken to extremes. So even getting anyone to understand my experience would be near impossible. There's so many what ifs running through my mind. It's driving me insane. But when it boils down to it, I need to make a choice. Believe, or not believe....

>>17662152
I want to slit your fucking throat. The very throat you spout so many lies from.

I'm killing myself this week. Need to put some things together first.

You'll get what's coming to you.

>>17662233
By that, I mean my fucking knife.

>CAPTCHA: flowers

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great wind carries me across the sky.

>>17662152
>>17662222
I'm so fucking enraged.

>>17662215
Here's a few points to consider Anon.
1) You first began experiencing these phenomenon while subjected to altered brain chemistry, yes?
Well, your brain controls all of your sensory experiences and their interpretation.
2) However, the mechanism isn't perfect by a long shot. Particularly in the pattern-recognition category. Humans suffer from an abundance of 'false positives' in pattern recognition because it had evolutionary benefits.
3) The brain is plastic. It continues to create and strengthen pathways between neurons that are re-used many many times. This is why babies flail wildly at first, then are able to hone their movements through practice and repetition.

It could be that your altered brain misfired and made false-positive identifications in pattern, that your sober brain continued to strengthen through repeated remembering of these ideas.

You're the worst person I've ever fucking met. Womanizing piece of shit.

>>17659578
Girls are evil and they dont even realise it. They arent capable of falling in love with a person and dont know that either, they just fall in love with money.
Sorry for saying the truth I'll kill myself now

I can't wait until you crash and burn.

Fucking kill yourself.

This isn't fair.

I'm ready to fucking fly.

Stop reacting in a questionable way. I joke about in response to them, but I don't even flirt and I have no interest in them. Something they are well aware of because I have said so

All girls are hoes

>>17659887
Fat targeting is a myth. You're doing fine. Keep going, anon.

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I can't come to terms with myself and how I feel about life.

I'm just tired of always having to have low expectations on everything and still being disappointed: friends, family, (non-existent) love life, my fading drive to succeed/get what I want out of life, my addictions (cigs/booze) which fueled by my on/off depression.

The only thing that motivates my will to live is knowing how shitty my funeral would be.

Any tips for dealing with unentitled jealousy?

It's minor but I'm still bothered enough to feel bad about it...

Please kill yourself.

I'm killing myself.

>>17662215
My husband is a former priest and has had the same experience as you, particularly with Salvia.

I think he just never completely shook it all off after all.

I'm starkly nihilistic regarding this.
>>17662316
Is a much gentler version of what I have said to him.

>>17662483
It'd help to know the trigger.

> Have to live with mother because financial and job issues and started college late in life
> Her boyfriend is a jackass and no one likes him. His own kids don't even like him
> He lives on his own house and sometimes comes to visit
> Every time he does makes sure to go to bed really late and make a lot of noise so I wake up in the middle of the night
> Proceeds to fight with mother (her own fault, I talked to her about this thousands of times)
> Meanwhile, in uni...
> Have to deliver an important project, due to Thursday in teams
> The team hasn't done anything they were supposed to
> I have to do it all by myself in one day
> Can't go out with the girl I like because time
> Other girl which was my best friend for more than 13 years doesn't talk to me anymore
>We used to be best buddies and now we're not
> We had strong emotions (at least I did) involved but time and distance fucked everything up
> She comes to visit and the last time she came here I realised that I was "in love" with the idea of her, not what she actually is
> Everyday I'm one step closer to give up

>>17662496
Just minorly jealous that my friend is talking to multiple girls/is popular.

I like him too but that doesn't mean I should really be jealous over it; I'd be/am friendzoned immediately anyway and I'm pretty much good with that. I'm inferior and it comes from knowing that, I guess.

It'd be cool to feel better though. I can play it cool and always have been, I just can't help how it feels bad deep down.

Thanks for listening (reading???), at the least, anon.

its one of my friends birthdays today and a mutual friend posted a photo on my friends fb because its his bday. I'm in the photo too but he only tagged himself and the friend (I wasn't tagged). Was it a snub? I'm quite good friends with both so not sure why I wasn't tagged in the photo too. Should I message my friend to ask him to tag me in it as well or would that be petty/weird?

I'm a lazy entitled piece of shit who wasted every bit of abundant potential he was gifted

>>17662532
Nah, either don't mention it, or comment something witty about the photo itself on the post if you absolutely must.

It just wasn't about you, probably. Don't worry.

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Life will end one day, and we won't be on the other side of it, we will be destroyed in fire, water, ice, cold, pollution, rapefugees, nuclear warfare, guns, drones, matrix-style robot overloards - but we sure as fuck won't ever achieve happiness. I wish I atleast fucking knew what it was atleast. I just want to smile like on tv when everything is good, but its fucking not, life just goes on and on and we are left here without a direction.

People are so fake, and i understand, i just wish people werent so damn evil about their intentions, you literally cant trust anyone. I want to be a fucking kid again, i hate being a god damn adult everything is so mother fucking weird and overly complicated.

all im left with after an a month of kush is a fucking headache and anger, wish i could snap back to reality - FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

PLUS I DONT GET IT WHY THE HELL ARE WE EVEN HERE, NOBODY FUCKING KNOWS. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS?? NOT BRINGING IT UP RANDOMLY JUST, "FUCK IT..." YEAH WE HAVE NO IDEA WHY WE ARE HERE OR IF THERE IS A REASON, WE JUST FLOAT ALONG AND IT SUCKS

>>17662524
Here's a question that might help analyse the situation: Does he attract women by telling them what they want to hear, or is he just a genuinely fun fucker who they fall for naturally?

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I'm alone with barely any friends that care about me anymore, or atleast i have convinced myself that,
I have depression and no motivation to do anything,

I've become a hateful person and act as such in public because ive grown to just hate anyone, i've been really thinking about getting a bucket list together and ending it all when i finish it,

I'm a joke my life has no meaning, i dont think i want to be here anymore,

I just want to know if i'm making a stupid choice

I just feel no love so i bring hate, i'm mentally ill, almost to the point of it being a sort of evil criminal mindset

I think i'm better than everybody, but i cant stand to look myself in the mirror, or like myself

I drink and suddenly i'm happy and open and egaging,


Do i end it?

>>17662539
Yeah I shouldn't worry about it. I figure he only tagged each other because its a birthday wish to the specific friend. I did notice other bday pics from other people, the other were tagged in it too but I'm probably over thinking

>>17659884
You need to decide that. You're either going to wait, or you need to completely remove every trace of her from your life and move on. There is no other way anon.

>>17662564
Go see a therapist. I was in the same boat as you a year ago, and still am in many ways. You need to find something to focus your energy and attention on. Go back to school, learn some things, travel, get a new job, whatever. You honestly just need to distract yourself long enough to stop thinking about how much you dislike yourself.

how do I into ?

I wanna stick your toes in my mouth.

I want you to kick me as hard as you can and call me dirt. Then top it off by spitting in my mouth.

You're great.

>gf wants to join the military
>soldier girls are my fetish but I don't want her to die

Sometimes I wish my life up until now was just a dream from which the longest took for me to wake up from. At some Narnian point, I'd wake up and I'd be 9 years old at my father's place on some mundane fall or summer weekend and all my memories of this life up until now will fade away the moment I reluctantly eat breakfast and think of an excuse to avoid playing Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest.

>>17660864
>Afraid to tell doctors how I feel because they might fucking baker act me again.
I'm in the same boat m8, been lying to my shrink for 6 weeks now. I wanna die.

>>17659578
just started my 2nd and final year of college, studying film and im starting to feel as though its not worth the time/effort/money

will have to spend another 3 years studying at uni and im not sure if its worth it

I'm good at what I'm doing but I've no good and long experience to show on my CV and my past jobs are too broad to give me any edge on this job market.

I still found one but I'll have to quit because of the shitty location as soon as I saved enough to start my project, which means it's the entrepreneur road again, and failure rates are high. Yet I don't think I've any choice.

Time to take risks and make it or break it, as I'm 30, with a wife and a daughter to feed and soon to send to school.

>>17662067
Confess tomorrow. It won't help you get over her; only a rebound will do that. But it'll alleviate the tension. You're holding onto this false hope as if its a wavefunction that MIGHT collapse in your favor one day. You know it won't. The sooner you tell her the sooner you can find someone.

I miss her

Im a coward who has never worked for anything in his life.

No one listens to me anymore.
I'm the most depressed and suicidal i have ever been but everyone just fobs it off saying "everyone has stuff to deal with" or they don't have time for me.
From other people i would understand but i can't deal with it coming from my mom. She used to be there for me when i couldn't cope with the world. Now all she cares about is my nephew who isn't even born yet.

"Mom i can't deal with my depression any more, i've been hurting myself and i feel like killing myself. I need help"

"Yes dear but i'm helping your brother prepare for the baby, you'll be fine"

Why won't people listen.

>>17662097
Beat my face in anon

>>17662238
I hope so

>>17662613

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Just slept through my midterm. Emailed my prof asap but the syllabus says no makeup exams

end me now

>>17663017
Kek your mom is a heartless whore

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I wish I can stop wanting to cuck my friend. His wife is so loving towards him but he acts so cold towards her sometimes. We play vidya together sometimes he flames her when she fucks up. It's so awkward and shitty and I hate when he does it.

I'm always fantasizing about her big ass tittes and I'd do to them. I already stole some lingerie from her. Don't know if she notices but fuck it. I think I have a problem.

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I'm so sad and I have no idea what I feel when I feel it. I don't know if I want to cry I can't smile on command like most people I funnel all my emotions onto anger and I just get so mad all the time except for days like this where I am just sad. I don't want to live like this but I don't know how to change it. I'm going to fail physics and I say it's because my teacher is from Nepal or that he is not very good at teaching but he is really trying his best you can tell and it's really just me not putting in effort. I have a dead end job making 8 an hour that is really easy but the bad part about it is that I usually only work 4 hours a day because of school and location. I drive an hour to school and then I drive 40 mins on the way home to the job but there is no reason to go home and enjoy myself because I will just have to come back to the job in an hour or so and it's a waste of gas anyways,so I just spend it lurking on 4chan and now even that is in danger from hiroshimoot. I feel like my friends actually hate me. I am naturally outgoing and want to be the center of attention but it is so hard for me because I am a turboautist who can't make normal human conversation. I know that I can't love anyone before I love myself but I fucking hate myself. I discovered weed like 3 months ago and my use of it has increased exponentially from once every two or three weeks to every other day this week, and I know how slippery the slop is. Stoners always brag about how nonaddictive weed is but that's only physical addiction I am starting to depend on it to have fun and be happy and I am scared. I always dog on one of my friends because he has social anxiety really bad in a joking manor but really I am anxious most of the time I am to anxious to post on 4chan, A FUCKING ANONYMOUS IMAGE BOARD. I'm so afraid of being judged for not being good enough Please help me /adv/

Pic related, a shitty cheese quesadilla I made while high.

I'm so lost. So many people have done shitty things to me. I'm practically broken from all the people who have ever insulted, abandoned, betrayed and hurt me. People would always try telling me to chin up, things'll get better, watch as you exceed and they're nothing in the future. That's not the case. I'm nothing and they're all living these happy and fulfilling lives. What did I do to deserve this? Why does everyday have to be a struggle? I think I should do the world and me a favor and kill myself

A,

I miss you. I'm waiting for my feelings for you to go away but you're still rooted deep in my brain. I don't want to miss you anymore, I want to not care about you at all but at the same time I want to be with you so badly. I know I'm not supposed to. we're both fucked up but I think we could make each other happy. I want you to miss me, too. If I'd never known you, would that be better? I feel doomed either way.

Love, K.

I am a male nurse and I really really hate the doctor I work with, in the ICU. She's an ugly-old-unfucked woman...

My greatest fear was that you would forget me.

I was wrong.

You leaving me was so much worse.

>>17663184
That makes no sense at all.

what?

So if they forgot you that would be ok. Even though to forget you would mean they would have to leave you first as you can't forget someone you're still around.

But leaving you and still knowing you exist is terrible?

What the fuck does that?

J,

I don't think you understood how permanent yesterday was. I went in knowing it was my last goodbye. I'm not changing my mind, so the only way we're ever seeing each other again is if you change yours, which isn't likely to happen. Every time you said "for now" or "right now" I teared up, not because I miss you but because this isn't a temporary phase. This is forever. Being around you would make me kill myself before long. Either I'm inside your circle or I'm not in your life, because hanging at the edge is too painful.

I really hope you come back, but you're not my problem anymore, by your own choice. I hope you can power through your issues and give me the man I love back before you're too far gone.

Love,

D

>>17663105
Your friend doesnt sound like a nice person

In /v/ we have a saying, "better to be bad at video games than mad at video games"

If your friend is raging just because he lost at the video game what does that tepl you about his overall character?

>>17662558
He's ridiculously good looking. Women come to him. I don't know what goes on privately but he's always friendly and pays the attention for it. I've only seen him be flirty once with someone and thats sort of what started it.

Like I said, it's not like he shouldn't be or anything, and I know that.

From a young age I always felt that I would rather be a guy. I struggled with this for many years, I learned to accept that I'm a woman and I'm happy now, but deep down I still experience that I am male. From the way I behave it seems stupid because I am a woman, but I never notice that the way I act is often not very feminine.

Sometimes I just imagine what I would be like as a guy, how I'd talk to girls. I imagine if I was a man in a last life. I only have this feeling, but it's not so strong that I would want to change my appearance.

Maybe this is why I had struggles with guys, I never liked sex so much with any of them, but I'm not a lesbian either. I sound like some confused 14 year old, it means nothing, yet I wonder whats keeping me from being comfortable in a relationship.
It's just thoughts.

>>17663136
Don't kill yourself, life may not seem worth it. Life might always difficult for you, please don't give up. Find something worth living for!..

I thought I was making progress. I thought I was making real, positive change. But here I am.

I've lost a couple friends. I'm failing almost all my classes. I turned away an amazing girl who actually liked me for who I was. The dumb pseudo-depression is back, this time accompanied with alcohol abuse and an eating disorder.

I'm scared I'll never really be happy. I'm scared I'll keep turning happiness away because I'll always feel like I'm not good enough for it, like I don't deserve it. I'm scared that my life is going to implode. I know exactly which steps I need to take to get my life back in order. But I'm too fucking paralyzed to actually do anything. And this is where people tell me "man up", "just do it", "stop being such a bitch", that I can just pull motivation and energy out of somewhere, that I can convince myself to push myself harder to get better. Rationally, I can do it, but physically, nothing ever happens. Emotionally, nothing ever happens. I'm stuck repeating the same patterns over and over again. I'm in a loop that I don't know how to get out of, and that no one can (at least none of the many who have tried) can help me get out of.

>>17663202
It is a situation I cannot fully explain without giving too much away.

Suffice it to say, had she forgotten me, it would not have been intentional, whereas when she left me...

>>17663232
I've been been looking for almost 19 years now. Maybe there just isn't a reason for me and I'm just incapable of finding happiness

be sick for 6 month, didn't get right forms and shit now risk of getting fired

>>17661811
That sucks. Had two best friends who bailed on me. Keep living anon, fuck all the people who held you down

>>17663222
Don't get me wrong he's a good guy but when gaming he becomes very passive aggressive. I act dumb like I don't notice it but I do. He flamed me a couple of times and it puts me in a bad mood. We play a very popular moba and I've been grinding something and he told me I'm not gonna do it, I can't do it etc. That tilted me hard and made me actually kinda sad my own friend said that too me. I know I'm not good but damn.

I HABE BIG BENIS BUD SHORT RECTUM

>>17663105
You should be the white knight faggot you are to swoop in and save her.

>>17663408
not my job bud.

Had a perfect opputunity to talk to her again and totally whiffed. So dumb.

i stopped being religious but i don't want to have cut ties with my family because mu ultra islamic father disowned me i don't want to live a lie either

>>17663080
Get a doctor's note asap.

I have no clue where to go with my date tomorrow help

I hope you kill yourself.

>>17663230
Hey, you. I feel more or less the same. I think it comes down to the fact that we're analogue creatures while gender is more or less traditionally binary, yeah? So we're sort of pressured to think one way or the other when really, everybody varies.

If you're like me, then you don't really have the desire to be trans to achieve this feeling, it's just sort of there. I left highschool nearly 10 years ago and I still sort of cringe at myself there, because I struggled more with this then.

Being one of the guys isn't so bad most of the time, is it? It sort of sucks when you do like someone and you're still just "one of the guys", but the friendzone is universal; it being easier to date as a female is a myth. Unless you're like, stupid hot, I guess.

I always hated hearing "don't do that, it's not ladylike" from my conservative father's side tho. And small things too; like while shopping for new PC peripherals the employee asked my roomate, male, about the games he played, totally glassing over me. My roomate doesn't play games at all, and fumbled and I felt bad for being ignored. It's both small and big picture...

You've probably had totally similar experiences, yeah?

I don't want an abusive relationship, I just like rough roleplay. Enjoying the company of another as well as appreciating their body, regardless of aging is what I'm looking for. Cuddles and talking about stuff.

My partner of almost 3 years, which I'm supposed to get married to, suddenly says he doesn't want to talk to me for a week. He has been cold for quite some time, he used to be there to cheer me up, now he's distant, like a different person.

I slowly feel like I'm just a bother, my dad recently died, family has a lot of stress, I'm just here trying to figure out how to help. I haven't slept good, haven't had time to cry or grief.

Drank last night because couldn't handle the stress. Partner was all nice and comforting first, cold the next day. I'm not sure how to feel, because I'm trying my best to make everything work, sometimes I feel like I have to take the role of my father, yet I'm so useless. I can't change how people feel or react, what can I do? I started to believe in god, I know I have to be strong, but I don't understand anyones emotions. Should I be ignored for a reason? I don't know, I'm not sure where I went wrong, I try my best to be good. Maybe I'll end up alone after all, but don't know where to go from there, life loses it's meaning when you have no one to share your life with. My partner is so good in many ways, but sometimes I don't get why he says or does the things he does.

I feel abandoned, strange, sad. I just wish I could be loved again the way I used to. Now I'm on my own, with a robot partner and an emotionally destroyed family. Maybe I'm just pitying myself at this moment, but I wish I had a friend to hug me right now. I don't know if I deserve this, or if I'm being tested, just know that I could use some time out.

>>17663452
Yeah I suppose.
I never liked to be a girly as a kid, wanted my hair to be cut really short, wore clothes of my brothers only. I used to get bullied for it, but I was also stupid, pretty sure it counts as autistic.

From a young age I loved planes, I wanted to play with boys and be one of them, I loved sports too, was pretty active. I even considered going to the military many times.

I'd just get a lot of hate, guys would think I'm in love with them and then hurt me in return.

Then I entered the stage of femininity and learned how much better you get treated as a girl, but it didn't feel right, suddenly I was a sex object and got treated nicely solely for my looks. I mean I can understand that attractive people get more importance, but it's for the wrong reasons. I know these guys just wanted to sleep around, I just wanted friends.

It is just, as a woman, I felt mostly degraded and humiliated. I'm sure men have their own struggles, I just don't know where I stand.

I'll never cheat on you, but goddamn your best friend is cute.

>>17663482
Hey I was in a similar situation. Read the 48 laws of power. It helped me with the loss of my father when I realized people are not really there for me even if they do love me. It might help you too. Hit me up if you want help with anything from drunk anon.

Oh yeah if you want your boyfriend to go back to being cheerful listen to him. As in actually get your mindset into realizing you do NOT know this person. Do actions that tell him to tell him about himself. People love that. Learn him, learn who he is and promote that and make it easier for him to be him. That's how he'll go back to himself.

It's a cost on you though and that's why I told you to read the 48 laws of power, to understand why it's important to sacrifice the "me" factor to get what you want.

>>17663064
Just wait for it.

>>17663077
That's hot.

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I'm ready for the abyss.

I hope I will finally die

>>17663080
cut off a pinky toe, go to the hospital, get a note. You'll have a good excuse

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I've heard death being compared to nothingness and you'll never feel again after dying. I don't care about the tiny little bit of happiness I'd feel. I don't want to feel anything anymore

pic related

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I hope one day, one of you comes crawling back to me because the other abandoned you, like you guys did to me. I want you both to experience how I felt. Just to think of karma getting you guys is

Where has my appetite gone? When I am hungry all I want to eat are froot loops, rice, spinach, and drink coffee/water. Nothing else. This kinda blows.

>>17663824 here
It was hard forcing down this single slice of buttered bread. At least this cup-a-soup is tolerable.

>>17663854
You're a fat fuck and we all know it.

>>17663677
Hey, thanks for your advice, I totally understand what you mean. Problem is that I give my full attention to my partner, just now he got mad at me and mentioned things from the past he promised not to say again(it's complicated, but I always think these issues where resolved years ago, maybe not, he uses this against me but I don't understand why, I didn't cheat or hurt him in a way, but he seems hurt by something he wasn't involved in and it feels like he's trying to control my emotions with it) even though I tried to solve things. He said I should see it as a test for him not talking to me.

I just feel hurt, don't know what to do. We just had arguments again and I don't understand why. I tried to understand him, but when we talk he has pure hatred. I'm loyal, I try to take care of him and understand, but I can't control how he feels. Right now I feel like a doormat.

>>17663904
Might be that

>You usually hold it together through something he feels intimidated by
>He doesn't attack due to that intimidation
>Your current loss has put you on the ground and he feels comfortable enough to attack
>Tries to see if you see it

or

>He think the way he helps is to manipulate your emotions into 'good' emotions
>Before that he feels the need to destroy your control over them
>because obviously you took them in a bad place
>hence the attacks, to destroy your desire to control and let him dictate, he 'knows better'

Honestly, jump on him. Destroy the fuck. He can eat a dick. You're you and you're a good person, he should not push you so hard when you lose a fucking parents.

And he'll say that was the test but no it wasn't. You are a good and loveable person and don't deserve to be tested when you're at your weakest. Find a man that isn't a child.

I'm terrified that my god will punish me for fapping but I have a really hard time (no pun intended) trying to stop the habit.

>>17663945
Kek imagine your god looking at you

>Oh for fuck sake Billy, playing with the balls too, fucking hell you never even shaved them, that's just gross

Cuz that's what creatures who create nebulas, quasars, black holes (whores too) occupy their time with.

>>17663918
A lot of people tell me that, I know he's childish and you're right. I always try to look on the better side of things, in the end it hurts. I really don't want to sound like or be a victim.

I feel like crying when I hear that I'm good, because I keep telling myself I'm bad. It makes me feel really good hearing this from an anon, but you know there's just so much going on now I don't even know how I should think.

I've been worrying about financial things, I payed a lot for the funeral because I know my mom can't afford, and I payed the full funeral a year ago for my little brother (he died too, apparently suicide). Many things have happened and I can't control them, but I try my best.
Like I said, it's hard to tell right from wrong at the moment. Thank you anon.

>>17663958
Eeeeeeey no problem mate. And yeah it is hard and yes it's a lot and that's why you should keep doing what you do. You'll feel like you're "vomiting" everything at one point and that's alright, that's exactly what you should do. You've been overloaded with emotions, situations and dilemmas. It's good you keep trying to maintain control as that skill will never in your life develop as much as it does right now. Give yourself some room and let yourself feel. It's ok to be weak, sad, depressed, worried, angry and even to tell that person they're cunts for not taking better care of themselves and letting you deal with the fallout. It's all alright and if you feel you want to stay with who you are and love them even if they hurt you that's good too. Everything you feel makes you a better person. Think of it from your point of view, from how YOU want it and how YOU feel and how YOU think it's gonna help you, not from how you should or how it will be judged. Everything you feel is good and right and you should not feel ashamed for it.

Cheers mate, best wishes.

>>17663945
I used to imagine being judged for all the fucked up shit I did and thought about and the requirement of having it shown to my loved ones before being entering heaven.

Imagine that shit. All the fucked up fantasies and sometimes incestuous boners or wet dreams you had before figuring yourself out being put on display. I mean God's probably seen more fucked up shit than you playing with your dick but people you know? That's gotta be worse than being a suspect in a murder 1 trial.

>>17663878
That isn't very nice. I have a BMI of 22 but since I won't be proving anything, you don't have to believe me if you don't want to.

>>17663981
Thank you so much! I really get what you're saying.

Lost, just so lost.

Have you ever come face to face with the underground male culture of today? The culture surrounding celebrities, rappers, millionaires, etc. The culture surrounding CEOs of megacorporations and Wall Street and Hollywood. The culture of men leading the world, through sheer appearance and power relations alone.

It freaks me out. What a stormy, subterranean culture. Agreeable, but overwhelming. I can't handle it, being the weak, asthma-crippled introvert that I am.

People who have not dealt personally with that world just don't understand it. There is no way you can unless you have confronted it face to face. The media does not portray it accurately.

I'm an EMT and just so burnt out on it. You'd figure that people in this field would be extra mature and supportive of one another but it is the exact opposite, less for both of those things.

>Be me
>Be seeing girl for about 5 months
>Girl is seein some other dude
>Tell her shes gotta decide
>She decided to go with the other dude
> :(

Honestly fuck you, for stringing me along, for "loving me", for actually giving me a glimpse of happiness. You say we had to break this for me, but it was really because of you, you took soemthing great and fucking ran it into the ground, you're indecisiveness will lead you no where. I wish I could just fucking talk to you, but now we have to be left on our own. Fuck you for saying You wont change, fuck you for saying im an important person in your life, If I was you would fucking leave the other guy, cant believe I let this happen again, and the worst part, Im sure if you decide to come back, Ill hold the fucking door for you. Dont even know which one I want more...

>>17659578
i dont know how to stop being so miserable and depressed

>>17664242
Im an EMT too, good luck bruh

There is this guy I used to be head over heels for. But I can say now that this was at a very low and lonely point in my life where I felt isolated from anyone apart from him. We still weren't particularly close, he was just someone I could interact with and actually show myself to, that's just how desperate I was.

But that's not the case anymore. I'm no longer running away from people and actually have friends who I can hangout and share with. But then why do I still think so much about him? I'm in a much better (like light-years) mental place and even getting attention from guys but I still only want him. He's the only person I crave intimacy with and want to touch in any way and have by my side.

What am I supposed to do?

>>17664272
Fuck that bitch man.
You deserve better than that. You'll find someone who thinks the world of you one day and when you find her, your ex won't be worth thinking about.

>>17659578
I fucking hate Yankees. Shitting up my whole country. Fuck off and go get hypertension and die.

The girl I'm seeing is still friends with her ex and it's bothering me so fucking much. Logically I know they're just friends, he's got his own thing going with some new girl, and she's near OAG level crazy about me; I don't want to put limits on her but I really just want the fucking guy out of the picture.

I don't plan to let anyone know I achieved something, if I did then too much attention would be attracted, plus all the egos and dick waving. Still, it's times like this that I wouldn't disapprove of someone at least saying "good job" and meaning it, just for the brief recognition. But you can't have that without the attention. Thus, I vent on an anonymous imageboard a couple of hours before I need to sleep for work tomorrow

Well it's safe to assume that she is not interested art all. (Unless she is just stupidly awkward?)

It's been 6 days so far since I asked. and she said "she'll have to get back to me on it"

It's funny how things go. When we first started going out, I didn't even think she was that attractive. I felt so horrible about it cos she had such a great personality and it made me feel shallow, which made it such a relief to me when I finally felt I could be physically attracted to her, and her looks became associated with her as a whole and all the things I loved.

Now we're apart, nobody else is even remotely physically attractive to me. Nobody looks as fucking weird as her.

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I've always been afraid of intimacy and being vulnerable, but over the last few years I've noticed I don't enjoy casual sex and I'm only really attracted to people I have an emotional relationship with.

This catch 22 makes dating pretty difficult.

I'm 30 soon and I've never had a relationship or even kissed a girl

I just want someone to cuddle, I'm probably going to kill myself next year

>>17664242
I'm in it half because I like crazy girls

>>17659868
Currently going through a divorce. Got married at 21 as well. My ex was 29 though when we married. I ended it in December and I'm just waiting on him to be served with the papers. He has me blocked on everything so I have no way of contacting him. I miss him every night and worry that I am making a mistake constantly.

>>17664573
I'm one month deep in a relationship and barely realized I have little to no emotions for her. Dammit I really liked talking to her and Skyping (its long distance) but I never established an emotional relationship with her. Now I know that I'm only attracted to girls with whom I have an emotional relationship with but its way too late now.

I'm planning to break up with her tomorrow. Its going to go horribly and I'll feel like complete shit but its for the best.

Almond Joy (a nickname I give my crush), I fucking love you. I hate sounding like such a beta fag but your smile is the best, your voice is so sexy, I love how smart you are, how athletic you are compared to the rest of the guys I have met. It hurts me seeing you with other girls prettier than me and your girlfriend. You belong with me, dude. I really want to kiss you. I know you're into me. I know you miss talking to me. I love you.

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I thought 4chan was supposed to be about freedom and the liberty to express ideas and get feedback and support.
I guess not. Just a bunch of paper tigers. Spineless cowards the lot of you.

>>17664297
Why not talk to him?

I have hyper attachment issues and delusional thoughts. This applies to many things, but in particular to a girl that I met 7 years ago who ghosted me on and off and told me she loved me. Yesterday, it got so bad that I had to /beg/ for a response from her to set the boundary (after 2-3 years of intentional silence). She never told me no, she would only disappear, but I requested that she explicitly tell me to back off and not to talk to her again. Well, she finally responded and very coldly completed my request and called me insane... which is understandable.

It was a pretty big relief, really tho. At least she was kind enough to close the fuckin book. But it got me thinking... she literally took what I believed to be true love and insulted it and invalidated it. She very clearly never respected me or my emotions at all.

Life is a long ride, and she has a low road in her future given her situation and mental health. I wonder if she'll ever see the value of my persistence when things get darker. It feels like Ive witnessed that scene somehow, except I think I'll be married when it comes to fruition.

>>17664723
>4chan is a hivemind

Why does everyone keep thinking this?

And that's how you do 100,000 in gross receipts in the first year of being in business after starting with 500 dollars... really more like 5-6 months because setting everything up took forever. If I keep this pace we're on track for 300,000 next year... but I don't plan on keeping this pace. I'm aiming for 1 mil next year after some expansion, but will be mildly disappointed but accepting and proud of 500,000... then a million the next year.

"But you can't hope to achieve that kind of growth! preposterous!" and no one thought I'd achieve this or that it would be anything more than a massive failure so take your fear and shove it. I listened to people that thought like that for too long.

No more maybe, no more waiting, no more bullshit. I've been planning this for years so stifle the ignorance fighting to escape from your mouth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JZom_gVfuw

>>17664360
I know that feeling. man I know that feeling.

>>17663448
I hope you let go of your hate, cause it's gonna kill you.

I want to get rid of many people in my life and go solo. I want to work as a different profession than my father. I stop caring about school. I want to just lay down and take a nap without losing a few hours of time in my day. I fucking hate that i allow myself to have the set plans ahead that I have. I want to cancel everything that I've planned on going along with.

>>17659578
I want a job online i don't want to deal with people, i'd do anything. anything.

when i ask /adv/ for advice about specific people, i tell slight lies (as in, change the unimportant details) about the situation, because i'm always paranoid the person i'm asking for advice about will read it and know it's about them

>>17664767
I hope it does.

>>17664727
Because he's my teacher and will continue to be for at least another year. I really had no business getting those feelings in the first place giving our relationship though I'd like to add the age difference is of merely 5 years. But I guess that doesn't matter anyway.

Maybe in a few years when he's no longer teaching me and I finally got my shit together I'll tell him. But I don't what would come of it.

>>17664871
I do the same thing.

I hate attractive people. They didn't do anything to deserve the advantage in life.

You know Mikey I've put up with your shit for going on 3 years now. You've made this a lot easier by being such a dick this past week. I'm so fucking through with you and that red-neck stoner you insist we hangout with. Yeah when I meet you I had no friends but things have changed a lot since then. I can finally cut you out of my life like the fucking cancer you are.

>>17659710
In other words: you wanted to do bad shit and he wouldn't put up with your childish, evil behavior. How close am I?

>>17659578
I don't intend to read any responses after I type this. I simply want to vent.
At a young age, I was stupid and seemed destined to stay as so for the remaining of my life. I was a curious kid though. I remember I would put kittens inside freezing cold waters or slam dogs against the wall to see what would happen (again, I was a child, I do regret it). It was less so of wanting to harm something and more so of me wanting to see what would result. I would piss the bed as well. I had a lot of symptoms of a potential serial killers, but I lacked the intelligence part, so that was that. As I grew older, I was more aware of my insecurities and succumbed to them over time after being constantly berated with insults after insults. I was picked on A LOT. Anyways, that caused me to have certain unnecessary tendencies, such as wearing hoodies EVERY time I went out and keeping as quiet as possible. I also never held a legit job until I was in my early twenties because I cared so much about what others thought of me. I can't go back now and fix that, of course, so I just move forward. Currently, I have a shit job (that's life, right) and I am unhappy with where I am at. I want to achieve something better, but I am still confused as to what I want to do. Most people know what they want to be from a young age, but I was always in cahoots between law enforcement or the medical field. I love knowing new information, but there is just some information I cannot comprehend. I try and try but much to my dissatisfaction, there is nothing clicking in my brain. The thing I dread most in life, is when I come upon someone who makes me feel stupid and realize that I lack a lot of knowledge. I don't know what to do with my life. I consider myself to be open-minded. That said, I want to kill myself, but there is this slight idea that I might end up in a "hell" (religious family). I just want to do something or nothing (by nothing, I mean complete extinction of myself).

>>17665016
I exceeded word count, I'll just stop. For the record, I don't piss the bed anymore. I am single. I have been single for 6 years, and no, I don't miss my ex-girlfriend (who was more so a sex partner than a girlfriend, as she never considered us anything more than friends despite our sexual encounters).

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/adv/ I have tried visiting doctors and therapists regarding my mental health and they all seem to brush me off. I'm very high functioning with PTSD and a slew of other conditions and since I haven't shot up a school yet they don't view it as a debilitating. I have faced trauma in many ways, and I adapt each time - so there's nothing wrong with me I guess.

But I'm ignoring my pain because I can't face it. I can't cry or lay in bed for a week. I have bills to pay, work tomorrow, and goals for life. They are so antsy with meds because I'm honest enough with them to say I've recreationally used drugs. I don't have problems with addiction though.

How can I actually get help handling my shit? I had a dog for a while, worked great but my current circumstances separated us.

I never intended to be an affliction but I've always felt this motivating conviction. Truth in my eyes but my words come out as lies, the ashes are all burned out and its time you all found out. Forget fate it was just happenstance that our gazes clashed. Reality check paid for by others regrets cashed on our lack of success or directional ingress. Pour your wine into a cup and drink it all in one gulp. Its not going to last so settle in the back seat, its easy to watch the sun go down but have you ever seen it come up? Truth be told the water is full of salt, life in life out drown in the doubt. Debt collected in the form of worry, worry about a future a brighter tomorrow but how can that be achieved when the sun just burns your skin? Shelter from the cold but its even darker under the blankets and you'll still be alone. Figured out why I can't get past your toll? I only paid half of it but I still can't get past the other side. Crossing the border into introspection and reflection allowing myself to admit I was wrong and defeat the demons that haunt others dreams so they can see the meaning in what your saying not just being told what they mean. Absent in a forest does a tree really matter or is it the collection of leaves on the branches that show the whole picture? Do twelve count or is more than a bakers dozen? How many burned loafs do we need to practice on before we get the perfect product? Break bread, feed heads ignore the chants of the dead and make the same mistake again, I'm scared of tomorrow I'm scared to move on but there comes a time where I have to grow and money isn't a concern its just that I feel like I've always just waited for my turn. Tomorrow is new and different tomorrow has been done before but its never easier to just go out on a whim. I've always wanted to come back here but I never wanted to go back and this is just another step in a misdirection that I can't tell where I'm headed but I know I'm still headed somewhere.

I know I have people that love and care about me, both friends and family alike. However, there has always been this lingering feeling that I'm not appreciated. Like nothing I ever do or accomplish will be interesting enough for another person to hear. That's not to say that the people in my life wouldn't like to listen, but I've never felt inclined to tell them about anything. I wouldn't like to burden them with such a simple and curable problem. Perhaps it's because there's been no one in my life whom I felt comfortable talking to about myself.
Am I waiting for nothing?
What should I be looking for?
Why can't I remember what makes me happy?
All I really want is for someone I can truly care for and who will do the same for me. But can someone else make me happy?
I guess the real thing I want is for myself to be happy, but I just don't know who I am. Who am I?

>>17665057
Anon

I am at the beck and call for both my father and grandfather. Grandfather can't move from neck down and father suffered strokes. making him angry and loopy. The rest of my family doesn't want to deal with them and nursing get's too expensive, so for the last 5 years i have been taking care of them.

they call me useless,a faggot, mistake, why am i not rich yet, why am i not sucedssful like my brother?and yet i have been taking care of them for the last 5 and ahalf years, had to leave collage my carrer aspects for it.

i hate both of you ihate hate hate hate hate hatr hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hare you two and i just want to drown grandfather in the tub and a pillow to fathers face i want to hurt my succesful sibilings and i want my life back i want to die i want them dead

... and there he is, father telling me to move him to the bathroom, and of course I am forced to go to him with a smile on my face

>>17661305
R?

I've got two great friends, but my home life is shit, my dads dying, and my family is going homeless. It's making me angry and driving away my friends. I've been single for 2 years and dated my last gf for 2, i'm so fucking incredibly lonely.

i got 3 demerit points and owe the cops $110. also i'm out of weed and have no money because of school so that sucks.

on the other hand, i have a new girlfriend. thats pretty cool.

I am young, successful and miserable. I've worked for years doing the things expected of me and earning a "better life" for myself and my family, but am not sure what I've truly gained. I am trapped in a relationship with a woman I don't love, due to children being involved. Recently I have also become more and more convinced that none of this life is real so I am struggling to find meaning. Actually, I am trying to find a way out of what I believe is a false reality and nearly asked my dentist to kill me yesterday when she gave me laughing gas (doesn't seem like a normal reaction). I have also developed a massive crush on her. She is very pretty and kind, but I think it's more what she symbolizes than anything else. All of this seems insane typed out so perhaps I am simply losing my mind.

this is too fucking much. just trying to ignore you as much as possible i cant belive this happened after all the times you said o no its fine. everything is fine. then i found out a few days ago its not fine and you think so little of me. well i wont be around anymore so dont come crying to me later when shit goes wrong.

my heart hurts so much. im sorry for all this shit

Since I got my wisdom teeth removed, my face looks thinner and it makes me look like shit, especially when I smile.

It's not much, maybe it isn't noticeable for other people, but since I already had somewhat of a baby-face, I kind of feel like shit.

maybe I should get rid of my face fat by exercising more, even though I'm not overweight, just a bit skinnyfat.

it's a really minor problem, but I avoid smiling too much now

please just kill me. it would be so much easier for everyone ive ever had contact with and for those i will never meet in the future. just a quick bullet to the head to end the misery

>>17659710
S?

Have you ever had an LDR work?

I've been on such a rollercoaster over the last year.

For the first time in a long time I made new friend. On top of that, some old friends that I drifted away, came back into my life. I went from being desperately lonely to being overwhelmed with happiness. I even got a girlfriend and fell in love. I was the happiest I've ever been.

Nothing seems to last forever though. All the friends I made have drifted away, due to various unavoidable reasons, and I don't feel good about the relationship with my gf. I still love her, but we've been going through a bad time. Something in the back of my mind just keeps telling me it won't last, and we won't make it out the other side.

It won't be long before I'm back a square one again, desperately lonely, completely isolated. It terrifies me that happiness can be so fleeting.

I'm insecure about my gf, she recently hung out with a coworker to get ice cream while I was at work and didn't tell me. I didn't like it and got jealous, now whenever I see her or am having sex with her I think of that time that she went to get ice cream and think the worst. This results in my erection to fail and go limp which gives me anxiety and doesn't please her. I don't know how to move past this

You're fucking trash. You wasted your early college years by not knowing how to balance a LDR, school, and having a social life. You had no social life. You felt safe just knowing someone loved you. Then when shit fucked up in your third year you didn't know how to carry on with life.

And then you fucked your fourth year, too. So now here you are: a fifth year, 22 year old undergraduate going out to random events and shit like hip hop dance workshops because you're lonely and have no friends. Fuck you past me. You're shit. I fucking hate you. I'd tell you to kill yourself but you fucked that up too didn't you?

At least you're getting /fit/ now. God you better fucking make life amazing after you graduate finally. Lord knows you fucked up college. Fuck you

>>17665348
Depending what level of trust and communication you're at with your girlfriend, you should talk to her about it. There's a right and a wrong way of doing so if you choose to talk to her about it, keep that in mind

>>17665359
good luck, anon
Don't waste the time you have left

>>17659578
Fucking fuck you dude, stop making fun of me and avoiding me because I stated what my standarts was, I know you're just doing it to show her that you are "a good person" with "moral superiority". Well guess what fucker I won't be tolerating this anymore, I am going to have a talk with you today.

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After a tab of acid I managed to brainwash
myself into thinking I was a child. I'm 21 right now but I act like I'm 6. I lose my temper almost instantly, i lost all ability to socialize, i have no motivation to do school or even go out. I spend most of my time browsing 4chan,like in highschool, jerking off, like in highschool, and playing games, just like in highschool. Even more so I started to become obsessed with stories of the apocalypse because the idea of the world coming to an end is the only thing that makes me calm.
Just reading what I wrote makes me feel like shit. I'm such a piece of shit no one cares and those who did don't because I drove them away with my stupid. I can honestly say I'm all alone now. I want to say it's been fun see you space cowboys but it hasn't...lord kill me now

I became best friends with one of my roommates crazy girlfriend. I'm just as crazy as her. I get feelings for her. She's sending me mixed feelings, as if on one side, I relate to her way more than her boyfriend, while on the other side, her boyfriend isn't crazy.

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>>17665005
>stubbornness
>>17659710

>"But Jimmy, I want to fuck other men too!"
>"No"
>"Jiiiiiiimmmmmmmmyyyyyy, I will leave you!"
>"Okay, I dont want whores"
>"The love of my life's stubbornness cost us our relationship and I had to break up with him. He refused to see things beyond his own perspective."

>>17659578
/a/ have too much ecchi. People need to calm their libido down.

Every girl I've considered or tried asking out for the last two years has had a boyfriend

Am I too picky or what the fuck is wrong with me? Is it really just horrible luck or is there something else going on here?

And it's not like they're lying like "oh sorry I have a boyfriend," it's more like I meet their boyfriend a few days after meeting them- or she's a friend of a friend and they tell me "oh that sucks man, she has a bf."

>>17660445
>>17660474
pretty sure literally everyone knows in my case
if i killed myself tomorrow my family would be sad but not at all surprised.

I wish both of us will be single at the same time one day so I could pursue you.

You're right. What is the fucking point.

I WANNA FUCK THAT FILIPINA WHORE OVER AND OVER AGAIN

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>>17662685
>>17662067
>tfw also in love with a girl who doesn't like me that way
>we're really good friends, we make each other laugh a lot and help each other out etc.
>I already confessed to her and she rejected me
>it doesn't fucking help, meeting other girls doesn't help, no one is as fun as her
>or maybe I just like challenges and mysteries and she kinda is one
Shit sucks t b h

>>17663661 here
Shit man, this is awful. I keep fantasizing about how he'd sound getting his dick sucked. Saying he's gonna cum and push my head further down.

It'd probably be impossible getting a threesome going. I don't know how my partner would respond to something like that. Probably not positively. So it'll just stay as a fantasy. I don't want to ruin anything...

>>17659578
finally started talking with my ex today after 1 and a half year. He was gentle at asking me how I've been doing...I could feel he was just pitying me. Fuck this shit I'm pathetic.

I'm sorry M ;(

I'm 25 and for the first time in my life I have a group of friends...we all party and shit but i'm in the upper age group (entire group is 18 to 26). Im having the time of my life but I can't help but feel I shouldn't be doing this stuff.

I'm paying 10k a year and you cunts can't include parking for students in all that? What happens if I don't pay my student parking tickets?

Why is this generation full of fucking pussies.

>>17666017
U gay boy

I have no friends, can't meet new people since i have no money for anything nor is anyone willing to give me a job when i apply, i wish i stopped breathing in my sleep every single day.

I'm confused as all hell simply because I cant remember if your buddy was always so chatty to me and now I've promised someone who admires you I'd stop in and say hi to you for him.

He told me to enjoy you and I'm so lost? I'm not taking these things as signs. You know where I am, you could ask me out this time if you wanted.

>>17662573
You could tag yourself in the photo, surely they won't mind

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Dear Cass
What do you want from me? A relationship? No if you did you would have said yes to when I asked you so can't be that. A fuck buddy? That can't be it either when we were about to fuck u got cold feet can't be that either. Just friends? If so then why ask me to fuck in the first place after you rejected me and got to know me better? I really don't know what to do with you anymore. Maybe they were right and I've should have just quit while I was a ahead you know my feelings for you yet u still play these games. When I tried to move on and talk to someone who actually cares about me. You fucked it up and cockblock me. I wasn't even mad at first I thought that you were actually into me after all but no. Still the same bs... It hurts Cass. I know you plan on ghosting me soon anyway. Two months may not seem long to you but they were to me. Despite all that I will miss you. I love you But you'll remain a scar on my very soul for a long time...

I'm back in school, have a job I enjoy, a girlfriend I love to death, play piano and video games.I cook and I even go to the gym. Yet my life feels empty 80% of the time. I'm able to self regulate extremely well usually but things are starting to feel real pointless, more than before. I think it's something about turning 20 (although I'm 21) that makes you see the world differently. You've seen a good amount since birth and at this age you really start to question like never before. I hope this feeling will subside as I grow old but in the now I'm not sure what to do. Or maybe what I do is never enough for me

>>17664993
That's really fucked up..

There's literally nothing fucking going for me. I had this problem months ago and since then I've been working towards a solution to it all. After months and months of planning and preparation its all gone down fucking hill. Its all shit. None of my plans are viable. I'm failing what I started.
Im even losing the one thing that was bringing me joy and I don't know what to do to get that back. I almost feel sick of it.

I have nothing I'm so fucking sick of having nothing.

I like my suitemate who has a boyfriend of three years who is visiting tonight and I can't stand to listen to them fucking like rabbits!

>>17666248
your first initial and her last initial pls

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Kära Cat.
Jag vet att vi gjorde slut och förstår varför, det var ett medvetet beslut som vi tog tillsammans, men jag kan inte hjälpa att sakna de dagarna då allt var bra mellan oss. Du var min bro i regnet. När jag var med dig tystnade allt buller. När vi sov tillsammans försvann allt brus i mina tankar.
Du var curryn till mitt ris :)
Det går inte en dag då jag inte tänker på dig. När jag ser dig på campus svider mitt hjärta till. När vi pratar känns det som att mina inälvor är i halsen. Du var det finaste som hänt mig.

Jag var inte heller särskilt bra för dig. Jag var inte rättvis mot dig, jag ställde orimliga krav från dig och jag gav inte tillbaks.

Det fanns så mycket gemensamt emellan oss, men det fanns också stora olikheter. Jag antar att klyftan blev för stor, önskar bara att vi vågat prata om dem mer.

Nu har du någon annan, jag vet inte vem. Jag hoppas den personen inte gör samma misstag som jag gjorde.

Du finns för alltid i mitt hjärta.

>>17666278
Meditate until you can find what's missing or not right? Maybe you need more friends.

I feel like a useless fucking coward for bailing on my flight to see you. I just don't have the mental fortitude to do it right now.
The flat-hunting is going poorly and it's really depressing me.
I'm starving as I only had an apple for breakfast and haven't eaten since. There is a lot of people in the kitchen and I don't want to interact with them. Pathetic, I know.
That tax rebate I should have gotten is now no-where to be seen and I'm panicking that i've spent the money.
Oh, and of course the maths test is tomorrow which i haven't studied for at all since all of the above is weighing on my mind.
I can't stop crying. Why the fuck are you with such a loser.

All of this shit reads like the inner dialogue of a high school aged female in an indie movie going through her first break up.

>>17659578
NIGGERS!

I'm so worried about my mom. I regret moving so far away, but it was my only choice.

I just wish her sibling wasn't such a fucking asshole towards her.

Fucking mood swings.
5 days ago I went out with a girl and we kissed.
We're gonna meet again next week cause she was busy this week.

We talked almost everyday ever since we met. Today she posted some tumblr-depressed stuff on instagram and didn't write me at all.

I feel depressed and anxious af and I spent all day fighting the thought she lost interest in me.

I'm a worthless man. She has a boyfriend of 5 years but now doing a long distance relationship. I've grown to like her a lot and we cuddled yesterday, she also forced me to show my porn collection and we watched it together.

She used to think of me as "just a friend" but things took a bad turn yesterday when she told me she liked me more than just a friend.

I feel like a total scumbag but I really like her. I hope time will resolve things, whichever way it goes, one of the 3 persons involved will be hurt.

I'm afraid of getting into a relationship. I have always loved some girls, yet never did anything.
I always start to extremely admire one and spend most of my time thinking about her.
Now I told myself that I just won't care anymore, but now in university I again feel it happening.

I fear that the relationship wouldn't work, that I'm not that interesting and generally don't have much to say.
I also for some reason hate the thought of a 'public' relationship, and that everybody knows about it.
I'm pretty pathetic.

I don't like the new font in the OP picture

>>17666788
This is what happens, cunt people get cunt kids and good people get fucked in the process.

This is why we can't have nice things.

My birthday is coming up soon. I'm looking forward to my 22nd and I'm hoping to celebrate with the guys and get absolutely hammered in the city.

Would love to invite this cute Italian girl but we've literally only spoken today so it would be awkward and weird to ask right now.

Looking forward to it. It could be my last birthday so why not fucking celebrate? Who knows if I'll be around for my 23rd, anything could change by then.

>>17666880
I've got the opposite problem. My birthday is next month and already my family and housemate are hassling me about doing something for it

I think about you often.

I shouldn't, but I do. The thought of being with you makes me giddy. I smile like an idiot in public when you cross my mind. You're the spark that keeps me going.

I'm so scared of messing up what we have now. Our friendship has lasted so many years. I'm scared that you only see me as your friend. I'm scared that you see me as a sibling. I'm scared that you'd be disgusted if I said I wanted to lean against you and hold your hand. See all your sleepy smiles. Hear you laugh. I'm scared you'd be confused and repulsed if I told you I wanted that.

But I'm getting so tired of being friends.

I don't even want sex. I just want to be with you.

I don't know what to do.

I've been empty for so long.

Why do I have to be 5" 3'? I got confused for a child today. I just want to take my inferior genetics and fucking die

>>17667048
Then go to her instead

I know you'd never be a one night stand for me, I'm afraid. Exactly. So,etimes I don't mind being out on the spot, facing up to those fears. We did before? I think so, not sure what we got wrong, or how we could possibly get our relationship wrong. Exactly

I love you by the way. And waiting for you. You know I do. You know it, physically, emotionally, intellectually, on balance. We don't have to try the way we were, what life made us. Someone else. No, I'm just myself. You're too fucking perfect for me, I live it

>been in a "Every time I see her my heart flutters and I can't stop thinking about her all day" state with a random girl on campus all year
>have no classes with her,and she's always surrounded by random people that I don't know
I have no fucking clue how to go about this. I don't know if I should go full on stalker and wait for her to be alone, or if I should just move on.

>>17667327
>move on for now
>don't stalk but wait for an opportunity if one should arise
>don't be depressed if said opportunity never comes around

I went outside my comfort zone with a girl that I casually met, I gave her my number last Thursday, which may seem like nothing but for me it was a big step.

I had assumed she wasnt interested in me because I didn't receive anything from her in the following days and figured that was it. Today out of nowhere she sent me a text telling me shes been busy with work/school which is why she was late on the reply.

I'm not expecting this to go anywhere but the fact that she texted back gave me a little confidence boost. It feels really nice. Every girlfriend I've had was through school/hobbies where I had an excuse to get close to them. I randomly met this girl and ended up running into her a few times. I just was myself and it at least got a response. Dumb, I know but I'm happy

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I washed my hands of that business, you thirsty piece of shit. Go find someone else to freeload off of.

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Welp. I did it. I finally did it. I broke up with the hottest girl (perhaps 2 entire leagues above me) to ever and will probably ever take an interest in me all because I never had emotional chemistry with her. Nothing 'clicked.' She was head over heels for me too.

She has really bad depression as well so worst case scenario I'll be responsible for this 10/10 goddess's suicide and go to jail. She would literally be my last gf. This is going to be killing my mood for the next couple months.

How do people get through college with no sense of time?Should I quit?I swear I cant learn in school anymore I used to be on top of my shit in highschool but spending some years out of school I cant even do assignments without losing track of time and losing focus on a daily basis.I cant even make a to do list because as soon as I get to the task at hand I'm instantly craving stimuli from something else more interesting to learn or do or talk about(typing on this site and voicing myself means more than doing school work right now). I know I have the capacity to learn but I just can pull myself up to do it,hours go by like minutes for me.Time is liquid that I cant hold nor contain,It has erode my mind everyday,I cant even tell what day it is as if waiting or looking for something that will never come.My sense of time and self are dead, I don't remember that boy in highschool but if he was anything like me he probably achieved nothing and did nothing with all his struggling seeing as where I am now isn't any better than what he had.

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Holy shit i just went from crying tears of sadness during the day, to crying tears of joy at night

Life has been a terrible emotional roller coaster lately, it's only natural because i spent almost 2 years without feeling any emotion at all, and the crush i got on S messed me up really bad

But now i finally found you P i really hope to see you soon, you are the only person here as crazy as me, and we haven't seen eachother in years

My heart and that little world inside my head are starting to get repaired thanks to this

5'9", at best, with a 9"x6", recently got /fit/ as fuck, and I'm in my early 30s.

Apparently I have a certain look, and my dick looks even bigger due to the aforementioned.

As such, I'm in LA, and about to start my porn career. If you had told me this was going to happen, even two years ago, I would have laughed my ass off.

Now, well, I have nothing, no longer care, and want easy money. Still, it's fucking hard not to laugh.

>>17667781
I thought I did, but I think I was just being a creep and an asshole. I didn't deserve her and I doubt I'll find someone I thought I liked on the same level.

That was so many years ago and it's not like I haven't been looking.