Is confidence something that can even be learned? Because I'm

>>17643114
Try doing drugs

>>17643203
Which drugs will make me more confident?

>>17643219
dude dont take drugs for this shit

but alcohol will

Of course it can be learned. It comes from improving yourself and realizing you're pretty awesome.

>>17643114
>Is confidence something that can even be learned? Because I'm about to turn 30 and I feel like I'm as unconfident as ever. When I was younger I had hope that I would become more confident as I got older, but it never happened. In fact I think I've actually become LESS confident somehow. I'm even more afraid of women now, I avoid social situations more than I did when I was in college, and I feel much more hopeless that any of these things will ever change. I just have this general feeling of uselessness all the time, like I've wasted all of my opportunities in life and I have no purpose to even exist anymore.

You just care too much, if life gets shitty enough you'll care less, and your confidence will grow equally. So just stop caring.

>How do I stop caring that much?

Just tell yourself you don't care when something happens you'd care about. It's about small things, you'll find out you're more positive towards the outside world, and so the outside world will be more positive to you.

>>17643305
How can I realize something that isn't even true?

>>17643350
Make it true.

>>17643430
I don't think that's possible.

>>17643114

Don't listen the alcohol Anon, that will just make you an alcoholic.

Don't listen to the "don't care" Anon, that will just make you more detached.

Listen to this Anon >>17643430. Find something good about yourself and use that to build your confidence. If you find there isn't anything good about yourself, then improve and change that.

>>17643479
But I feel like I've already wasted too much of my life and I'm too old to see any meaningful changes anymore, if it's even possible at all.

>>17643545

Dude, you are thirty, not seventy. Yeah, maybe you'll not go to a stupid college break and swim naked on the lake, that experience slipped you by. Move on.

You still have a lot to do. Have fun with it.

>>17643556
I'm not talking about doing stupid drunk college shit though. I mean things like becoming charismatic, confident, and not automatically being dismissed by all women due to my average looks and complete lack of self-esteem and confidence in social situations. I have literally never once in my life had a girl show any interest in me.

>>17643545
I've been there man. Until fucking 32yo i was avoiding social situations, same as you blah blah etc, but I was even older. Eventually I found a job and somehow came out of my shell during that year. It was a very shitty job too.
I'm 33 now, have a few friends (girls) who i text with and talk with every other day. I even went on a date with one of them and am hoping to build on that relationship slowly. Nothing will probably happen there cos she seems a bit distant and is completely swamped with her job, but just the interactions with her and other girls did wonders for my confidence.
You need to not overthink things, just do what you want. You'll fuck up sometimes (RARELY) but that's completely normal. As for building confidence, I'd recommend you get into fitness/sports. Lifting has helped me immensely with confidence! Give it time, 5-6 months will do wonders for your physical and mental state. The sooner you start, the sooner it will pay off, but start slow, don't overwhelm yourself too early. That goes for both sports and your social situation.

>>17643576
this

>>17643575

I get what you want. My point is "Don't talk like you are an old man".

> I'm too old to see any meaningful changes anymore

Bullshit! Put on your big boy pants and start trying to improve. The lifting thing Anon mentioned could work, but really, do stuff that makes you feel good.