How would you feel if your boyfriend said domming you was a chore?

>>17639758

Sounds like he's just being honest. If he doesn't enjoy it, then yeah, it's going to feel like a chore to him at best.

>>17639758
Can't you do anything else?
He either dominates you or you don't want to do that?

>>17639772
I mean, honestly I really like the animalistic primal aspect of domination. He doesn't seem to be animalistic or primal. Even if it was just phone sex it's a component I'd want there and he said domming was a chore soo. I tried dominating him the other day and he seemed much more into it but he keeps on enforcing that he's not a sub.

>>17639801
Well, how are things when you actually have sex? Or is this just an online relationship kind of thing?

>>17639807
Online relationship for the present moment.

In my experience if a girl says she wants a dom it means
>you do all the work while I just lay here.
So he's actually carrying the responsibility of getting both of you off and that can get tiresome really quick, especially when it happens regularly and he constantly has to come up with new ways of doing it.

Maybe it's the same here and he's tired of having to do 95% of the talking.?

>>17639758
Do more of the talking. I was in a similar situation not too long ago and I always had to do all for the talking so yeah

>>17639819
It's this OP

You're lazy you're not a sub

Why do you need to define yourselves as a dom or sub? Just fucking do whatever

>>17639812
In other words, it's not a real relationship. What's preventing you from meeting up in real life? How long have you known each other?

>>17639758

domming can be tiresome, and when ur on the phone theres no benefit.

you are essentially asking a guy to improv monologue pornographic details to you for however long it takes you to get off, and if he says something even just a litttle cringey or weird or off you'll laugh or call him out on it, or even give him a hard time about it.

and they get nothing in return. they might get you saying 'oh yeah....' and you repeating what they said, but there isnt much. it is a chore.

Honestly, I think it's pretty easy to Dom and I'm not unreceptive as a sub at all. When I was domming him he said he had some pointers on how I could be a better sub and be more proactive. There was a long period of time in our relationship where I basically did all the talking though and it didn't feel like it was dominant at all. I felt like and still feel like it's not like I'm the one -no matter what I do- struggling get a reaction where as what I'm more interested in is like a reaction before hand and then an expression of that reaction. A flow. Like, a dom having to He was like ' I don't deserve the pillow' when I asked him if his face was pressed against it. I have said tons of stuff like that but I'm not really into debasement unless it's for punishment. He never initiates really, I always have to, if that's not proactive I don't know what is. It hurts that he doesn't take initiative, that he doesn't seem that passionate, that he said it was a chore, etc. Honestly if it's that bad then what the heck are we doing? He used to do this with his ex too, where he would never initiate, etc

>>17640130

This, it is so fucking boring doing this over the phone. How much do you reciprocate OP?

>>17640139
I don't think so, I mean people literally pay to have phone sex and I send snaps while we're doing it.

>>17640176

they pay to have someone 'dom' them. they dont pay to talk dirty themselves. they pay to hear someone sexy talk about what they'd do to them.

when you're the dom, you are basically just improv monologing. thats not fun

>>17640189
It is if the sub is improving dialogue about being a sub. It's like in plays, there's always a dominant character, but that doesn't mean the other characters have no dialogue or interaction. I know for a fact doms pay to have phone sex.

>>17640207

sure fi they're into it, but you're arguing why your boyfriends feelings are wrong.


is he doing the majority of the phone work? well that sucks for him. is it equal? do you do most the work? well its still an issue for him so go talk and find out why

>>17640225
I don't think sex in any form/expression should ever seem like work/chores and if does the people are probably wrong for each other honestly.

>>17639758
>phone sex
>phone
>sex
>ldr
anon pls

>>17640240

nope. to say that your partner should blinmdly succumb to and enjoy whatever sexual act you make him do to you is really childish

>>17640253
This is something he specifically said he was interested in, I suggested other things but he said this is what piqued his interest. I have discussed it with him. So this is something I confirmed he had interest in with him, something he said he was passionate about but he's now saying it's a chore? If it's something he's interested in with someone he's interested in then there should be passion. That is not childish, that is fair.

>>17640259

>that is fair

that is the most childish thing i ever heard.

he wanted something. then he actually tried it. and its a chore. maybe its just a chore with you, kinda like explaining basic human emotion is.

if you want to argue, argue with your boyfriend. im sure you'll make him see the logic. not that logic actually matters here. what he feels matter.

just break up wtih him, please, for his sake

>>17640276
Thats the thing, what he feels matters and the passion he displays is an expression of how he feels, if he's not exhibiting this passion anywhere sexually to me then I suppose what I feel matters too because it really hurts me deeply. Effort is a reflection of interest but a person can succeed at almost anything for which they have unlimited enthusiasm. It just seems like it's not for me when there's such a complication rather than expression.

>>17640308

cool, yeah, do what you said, break up wtih himn, he clearly doesnt love you if he finds monologuing porn to you over the phone a chore.

>>17640321
Yeah man