How to gain confidence? By all accounts I should be extremely

plz respond

>>17638772
You start by doing a Google search on how to gain confidence. Read self help guides/books etc.

I would suggest sports or lifting, works for me.

>>17639125
Know of any good ones?

Do you enjoy what you do?
Are you proud of what you are doing?
Are you at peace with the decisions you made?
Have the people in your life positive effects on your life?

As you noticed, you don't get confidence from external stuff like degrees, money etc.

>>17639168
>Have the people in your life positive effects on your life?
I think this is the most important one. My confidence is gone since i had crap people around me (and still do)

>>17639168
>As you noticed, you don't get confidence from external stuff like degrees, money etc.

Shit sucks, I did everything they told me to do and it didn't get me what I wanted. So should I be concerned about external validation in general then?

>>17639378
>I did everything they told me to do and it didn't get me what I wanted.
really fires the neurons, doesn't it?

>So should I be concerned about external validation in general then?
Don't rely on it for building self-esteem etc.

>>17639534
>really fires the neurons, doesn't it?

Well it's not very fair.

>>17638772
>often feel worthless and looked down upon by strangers.

You are projecting. You look down on others, comparing jobs and thinking there is a metric to be confident just based on material gain.

That's why you are unhappy.

What can I do lads?

I get really fucking anxious around people. Would acting help?

>>17639951
>I get really fucking anxious around people.
Why?
>Would acting help?
No.

>>17639951
>Would acting help?
Not stage acting no, but acting in your life, yes.

You did step 1. You actually have done things that are worth being proud of. (All of that "you're special just because you're you!" bullshit does nothing).

Step 2. Start acting like you're proud of yourself. Not an asshole, just a guy with calm self-assured confidence. Take everything everybody says, or their glances and actions, as compliments. "Everybody turned and looked at me when I started talking, I must be interesting."

This advice is not new. Aristotle in 350 BC was giving advice on how to be a virtuous person. He said to start acting like you have the virtue and eventually it becomes a habit. His example was courage. If you are scared, act like you are not. Eventually it becomes a habit and you are not scared any more.

>>17640069
Interesting although seems like a bit of self-delusion.

>>17640501
funny thing is, "fake it till you make it" works.

first you have to understand that the image you have of yourself is only like that because of thoughts and negative moments your brain saved up. If you feel insecure, not good enough, not good looking, it´s only because your brain tells you that. If that´s all true or not is a whole different story. Just try to tell your brain: shut the fuck up! everytime you feel not good or worthy enough. Cause it´s not worth the stress. How people think of you will only they know and decide. If you try to be positive more, I´m sure people will want to have you around :) Just give it a go. After all you are much more then you think you are (sry for my english btw y.y)

I'm slowly gaining confidence and these are the main sources:

>Shameless honesty
For me this is not really an implied thing. I've done a lot of shit that I'm ashamed or embarassed about. Being brutally honest about these things in any situation has helped me be more confident in telling the truth in general. Being an honest person is an integral component of confidence

>Real world socializing
Socializing with people in a casual way helps make you more comfortable socializing, which is pretty much the only atmosphere where socializing matters

>Feeling accomplished
Doing everything by the book abcxyz is not necessarily a good source of feeling accomplished. Set challenging personal goals for yourself and meet them. Give yourself some experience in doing things that most people can't or won't

>>17640890

>socializing
only atmosphere where confidence matters

Sorry did a typo

Is it true women can smell/sense fear and lack of confidence like dogs when you are around them?

>>17639168
Not op but I feel same as him and, holy shit you opened my eyes, for me the answer to each question would be 'no'. I hate my job, wanted to do something else but bitched out and now I'm doing something I can't stand.
Thank you anon, I've been feeling like shit since I started one year ago and never realized exactly why

>>17639168
What's the solution then?

sorry OP, I'm gonna hijack your thread to ask a question of my own.

I've heard before about dudes getting testosterone boosts from their doctors for a confidence boost and shit.
Is there an equivalent for grills? Is there some sort of medical fix, because I've tried all the pseudo science bullshit. Can I get a testosterone injection without going trans? Would that even work for women?

>>17641249

They don't smell it, it's just if you walk around thinking "No one likes me" then that thought is in everything you do. It's not just women, it's people and life in general.

The thing is, confident people don't walk around thinking about 'how confident they are', they just do shit. Whilst unconfident people walk around all the time thinking 'wow, I'm so unconfident'.

If you're asked to talk to someone you don't know, you'll probably think "I don't know what to say, I might say something wrong, I'm not good at talking to people" while confident people will just go and do it.

Confidence is a rather big myth, largely because it's not about knowing what to do or how to do it, but just doing it and working it out as you go along.

>>17640020
>>17640069

I think acting, as in theatre acting, would help largely. You know, a lot of NEETs are told to get a simple customer service job to help start interacting with people- forcing someone to go on stage and obviously be someone they're not is an excellent idea.

>>17642070
Are you a grill?

>>17642514
yes