Does waiting to have sex actually accomplish anything? People

>>17634493
It makes you feel good.

It makes you more compatible with people who agree with that sort of thing.

If everyone consents it's fine. Usually people like to get to know the other person first.

>>17634493
If you've got two people who genuinely want to fuck each other, then you're not rushing it. Some people just lose their virginity first chance they get out of peer pressure, even if they're really nervous or just not into their partner. That can be a miserable experience.

>>17634515
Yeah, I understand why inexperienced kids shouldn't rush it, but people still sometimes suggest that adults wait a few months and, like, who wants to do that? Why bother?

>>17634521
Because a lot of people still hold onto the idea that sex before marriage/too much sex/sex in general is bad, immoral, and/or will destroy your character and virtue.

>>17634521
Some people value virginity/sex a lot and want to make sure that they're in a secure relationship before doing so.

>>17634493

The point of waiting is to not become a massive slut. We all know sex feels good, but there's plenty of consequences from doing it all the time with lots of different people. Being taught to wait is just a measure of teaching self-control. To not let your baser urges run rampant.

>>17634493
You don't have to wait. But, if you are literally unable to wait, then you must understand that your body is controlling you - your mind should control your body, not the other way around. You should strive to be mentally in control of yourself, and giving in to your base urges like that shows that you are incapable of implementing concepts such as patience into your life.

>>17634521
Depends if you're serious or not. If it's casual sex and you have no emotional stake in it, then do whatever you want. But if you're a little more serious about the person, thinking of a relationship, then it can be a good idea to wait a little bit.

Not for the sake of some old idea of "purity," but to prevent your own heart from getting broken too easily. If they don't give a shit about you for anything but sex, they'll leave after a few "unproductive" dates. And you'll know before you get too attached.

And just for me personally - I lost interest in casual/unattached sex, like, halfway through college. It's just much more enjoyable if we actually know each other and there's mutual trust and affection. That takes a little bit of time to develop. I don't wait MONTHS after we've actually started dating, but every girlfriend I've had was "just a friend" for a good while before we even started dating. I just like it better that way.

But to each their own, you do you

>>17634581
>you do you
if he was satisfied with that then this wouldn't be an issue

File: 1466967568994.gif (2MB, 370x319px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 370x319px

>>17634493

>Does waiting to have sex actually accomplish anything?

Depends. Some people view sex as this sacred act that needs to happen with love and commitment and some people just like to have fun.

It can be a religious thing, moral thing, whatever. It doesn't really matter to me what other people's beliefs are as long as it isn't some sort of preachy, superiority complex down your throat kind of bullshit like it is here.

Just depends on a lot of different factors. People have different values therefore put more stake in some things than others.

I, honestly, have a lot of sex. I work in a bar, I'm a traveling musician, I'm good looking, its fun and I love women. I'm sure there will come a point in my life where I'll want to settle down but for now its just my thing.

Do you, man. No biggie.

>>17634493
Different folks different strokes. I personally do not want to have sex with anyone unless I have an extremely close personal (and most likely romantic) relationship with.

I'm a virgin chick though, and when it comes to penetration it's just a fucking horrible time anyway, so I honestly have no reason to just let anyone send me into a world of pain. What the fuck do I gain, it's not like I'm going to enjoy it in any way shape or form. I also don't have much of a sex drive either, so 90% of the time sex is purely just because I love the guy I'm with that strongly that I'm willing to have a shitty time just to make them happy.
So that's why I wait. If I don't have an extremely strong connection with someone, that usually comes from waiting much longer than the average guy is willing to, then I get nothing out of the experience anyways.

>>17634627
Sex doesn't have to be painfull in any way. No, not even losing your virginity...
Not even in the slightest.
If done right, penetration does feel absolutely amazing. I don't (yet) count to the few lucky one that can cum from it alone but it still feels very good.

You sound very, very scared.
Nothing wrong with wanting a strong bond with the person you lose your virginity. Not at all. I even strongly recommend it. But you don't seem to wait purely because of that but rather because you are very scared.

>>17634627

Why would any man want to be with you anyway, no sex drive? Are you not alive, hello? Are you depressed, lazy, fat? Never workout?

>>17634660
Yeah yeah everyone always says that, I've heard it a million times. Never been the case with me, I've tried many times on my own. Dildos, fingers, even tampons. Nothing but feeling like I'm being literally ripped open, even with all the lube in the world, even after cumming three times and dripping.
Other thing I've heard a million times
>Vaginismus.
I've seen doctor after doctor after doctor, not a single one of them has ever said there's anything physically wrong with me, just that I do have a very small vagina.

If the right person would come by, I feel completely 100% ready to go. I'm not afraid of doing it at all, I'm just ready to suffer through it for someone I love and know loves me. Sex just comes with the relationship package, I have to grit my teeth and take it in exchange for the emotional connection and closeness. I'd be more than happy to make that trade any time. Only thing holding me back is the fact most dudes in their early 20's expect sex to start happening before you're even a couple (actually, most dudes in their early 20's have no desire to ever be a couple anyway), and that just isnt me.

File: 1432356397727.jpg (28KB, 480x300px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 480x300px

>>17634733
I figure someone will accept the fact that even though I don't enjoy it I'd still fuck them any time they wanted eventually. I mean, that seems like it'd be a win win to most guys. They don't have to worry about if I cum or getting me off, they can focus 100% on getting theirs and doing (almost) whatever they want with me to get off. It's all about them.

>Are you depressed, lazy, fat? Never workout?
Depressed, possibly, but who isn't these days. I'm not suicidal, I get down sometimes and it hits me harder than normal people, I wouldn't say I'm in the best place of my life. I'm not unhappy but I'm not happy either
I'm also on a couple meds for issues unrelated to depression or mental illness at all that have been known to decrease sex drive.
I'm probably what is considered chubby to most people, since these days if you're a pound over 90 you're considered chubby. Used to be fat, but I've been dieting and exercising for 3 years now. I do 30 minutes of exercise daily minimum. Start every single morning with a 30 min run just to wake myself up for the day.
I am a tad lazy I guess. I procrastinate a lot, a night in bed is better than a night out on the town. Sometimes I can't be assed to put extra effort into things.

>>17634493

Waiting to have sex matters because you're dealing with a potentially life changing consequence each time you do it. You can have a kid. Regardless of whether or not you're both using birth control, or your feelings on abortion, the potential is there, and you should both be reasonably comfortable with the fact that you could deal with complex, adult issues about your feelings when it comes to children.

Less profoundly, you could get an STD, and waiting to have sex should hopefully prove that your partner isn't just banging every Tom, Dick, and Harry in town.

>>17634772

jesus,. get off your meds and try to find some passion.

self ocnfidence and success usually help with sex drive as well. it would be better for both sides if you would actually love and enjoy it.

>>17634799
The meds keep me alive anon.

And I can't really do much for my self confidence or success. That kinda lies in the hands of other people. Besides, I don't think that poorly of myself. Not any more than average. Sure I'm chubby, but I'm working on it. Most days I think I look good, it's just everyone else that doesn't like it. When I say I'm not in the best place, most of that is just because I'm in a stressful place. I'm graduating college soon, I have to start thinking about what the fuck I'm gonna do with my life from here, the coursework is piling up and is as hard as it's ever been, I question if I've even made the right choice in my major, if I can really enjoy doing this for the rest of my life, my savings are nearly empty after 3 1/2 years in school so money's tight, I have little time to see friends and family, etc.

Sure it would be ideal, it'd be ideal if I won the lottery too. You work with the hand you're dealt. I was dealt a hand that just meant sex is not pleasurable for me. So I have to work around it.

>>17634594
OP here and I am a lady