how do i stop being insecure and tense all the time

There is no easy answer.

For me it took getting married. Once I achieved that I just stopped caring what others thought of me because at least someone thought I was and am worth while.

You'll be alright dude, just smile and carry on.


Also, getting ypourself some neat hobbies and knowledge always helps. Kind of helps give you an edge up later on down the road if you know how to do things. Makes you look better than the Chad who relies purely on his looks or height.


Coming from me: In 8th grade I was known as shakey because a girl asked me to tie her shoe for her and I really like her, so I did. And I shook the whole time, because autism.

Now I'm twice married, once divorced, and feel 10ft tall and bulletproof.


Give it some time m80<3

>>17634264

Not OP but I have a question since you're married

Do you have any kids? If not why not? (since having kids is literally one's biological purpose in life and if you don't have kids then you've basically failed)

>>17634309

>life and if you don't have kids then you've basically failed)

Hi, my friend the 1920's is looking for you, he wants his values back.

>>17634338

Sorry, how is that relevant to the truth of the claim? Do you dispute the truth of the claim? If so you must present convincing reasons why it is wrong. But I assure you, it isn't.

>>17634309
No kids my dude.

Why is a long story but the short of it is that my wife and I live a very free lifestyle that has us moving from point a to point b every few years. Lack of geographical stability is a huge detriment. Also, her having a shorter than average biological clock due to having type 1 diabetes makes life a bit more complicated in the whole birthing department.

I'll probably just donate my sperm because meet the requirements (good health, tall, colored eyes, no genetic disorders run in my family, athletic build, 6'1", etc)

It all works out in the end. I get to explore the world with my best friend, we get to have fun and not stress out about providing for anyone besides outrselves, and we dont have to bring a kid into the explosive shitmess that is the world. At a time, the biggest worry I had was that I would have a kid who turned out to be gay, looking at the way things are going now if that was all he/she had to fear or worry about I'd consider myself blessed, unfortunately the way things are going I see my kid being very depressed, scared, and generally not confident in the world.


Sorry to unload on you brah

For me, it was the realization that literally no one cares about you. That sounds horrible in the wrong context, but I mean that no one cares if you do something weird or if you say the wrong thing or any other doomsday scenario in your head. Think about how you perceive other people. I've literally never thought 'gee, that person is acting really stupid, they should just go back home and masturbate'.

>>17634731
>For me, it was the realization that literally no one cares about you.

This.

My therapist actually told me part of being so self-conscious is being a narcissistic asshole.

>>17634737
>>17634731
the idea of being unimportant puts me at ease in a way, but at the same time it feeds my debilitating sense of inferiority
>>17634264
the thing is this girl likes me and she knows i like her but shes out of my league, which puts me in a pressured state because im hardly attractive and i suffer from a lot of beta red flags in my personality. i need to man the fuck up fast but i can't seem to will it into happening effectively, everything i do hobby/productive wise have been pussy steps so far

>>17634727

Sorry to hear about your wife 2bh.

> At a time, the biggest worry I had was that I would have a kid who turned out to be gay, looking at the way things are going now if that was all he/she had to fear or worry about I'd consider myself blessed, unfortunately the way things are going I see my kid being very depressed, scared, and generally not confident in the world.

...how the kid turns out is up to you. The kid is only going to turn out gay if you let them turn out gay. And they're only going to be "unconfident" if you don't prepare them properly.

Those are really, really bad reasons to justify not having children. They're not reasons at all.