post your shit, other thread hit limit.

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I texted her for the first time in nearly a year and a half and she still hasn't responded. i know she has college and most likely a job but fuck i still feel like i messed up or something. i just hope it doesn't take her like, a week to get back to me, i think i'd probably die.

Like, why can't I stop bein' an oversensitive little bitch? I know people who joke around a lot, and I know they're joking, and I try to laugh, but if they take a jab at me then a part of me dies inside. I don't get it. You'd think years of being on 4chan would make me numb to this sort of shit. But obviously it doesn't.

I was very insecure for a long time and only recently has my confidence been pretty solid. I don't know what else I should do to stop taking things so personally. I can tell it's bumming people out and I hate being the buzzkill at a party.

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Can't find a job to save my life. Money is almost out and I have nothing else. Family won't lend me anything or let me move back. Friends are all gone and the ones nearby have families so they won't let me stay with them. I'm in debt. Cat died and I have no gas in my car and that wouldn't matter since it's broken down. My only bike was stolen so I can only walk.

I can't take care of myself, I can't find basic, burger-flipping employment and soon I will be homeless. I only have a few trinkets and items left that I won't sell for money and one of them is a gun left to me by my grandfather. He slowly killed himself via alcohol but I think it'll be funny to use his gun to end my life abruptly. I'm very much considering shooting myself and making a large mess before being kicked out of here.

Don't know why I'm posting or typing this. Dunno if it'll even go through since the wi-fi I'm mooching is shit. I always used to think I'd have endless hope or preservere through tough times but the past year has eroded any that I had. I've never felt this low and I do not look forward to the future.

I started ignoring my really emo/depressed/seeking attention online friend and I feel guilty about it. But he kept bumming me out.

I used to try to be so supportive of him but he doesn't listen to anyone's advice and doesn't do anything to change. He's convinced he has "anxiety" but he doesn't have health insurance so he's most likely self-diagnosed. And he does things like post stuff online about how sad he is and all the problems he has and then say stuff like "oh but I'm here for you guys, not me! I'm just here to say that you guys can do it!" He tries to make up for his annoying personality by going out and doing nice things for others, which is nice, but nobody asked him to do these things and then he throws them in his face if he doesn't get the right attention back from them.

I just can't do it anymore. Like it's one thing if his anxiety was even real, but he's only like 19 and it sounds like he's just lying for attention. He even compared himself to another guy I talk to online with REAL, DIAGNOSED depression and anxiety when he is nowhere near as bad as he is. But THAT guy will get my undying support because he actually goes to therapy and TRIES. He fucking TRIES.

Am I being unfair? I mean there's still a chance it is real anxiety, but that still doesn't excuse the fact that he refuses to do anything about it. It was really getting to me to read his shit every day and bringing me down. I have my own problems too, jesus.

Really lonely rn.

Wish I had friends

>>17624839
This is a long shot and people will probably laugh you off or whatever, but...kickstarter your life? Or whatever donate-able website you can use to tell your story and ask for money. Like I said it's a long shot and people will probably accuse you of lying or being a lazy fuck or whatever, but I dunno. You might get somethin' out of it.

Honestly dude try doing odd jobs here and there. You sound desperate so just post stuff on Craig's List. Mow people's lawns, clean their houses, walk their dogs, etc. Just do something - anything.

I've never been in your situation so maybe my advice is shit, and I apologize for that. But I wish you the best of luck.

I have never been this jealous about another human being in my entire life and it is killing me. I dont love them, i an sexually infatuated with them. They are my friend. They are in a stable relationship and seem happy. I want my friends to be happy. Why can't i just enjoy my friends being happy. I have no reason to be mad at anyone yet here i am.

I like strapon femdom porn

I wish my boyfriend wasn't a god damned feminist. Take some leadership please for the love of christ grow some balls!!!!!!!! If you ever behave like a raging female ever again I'm going to fuck your mouth with a dildo you little bitch.

I NEED A FUCKING GF!

I need to forget.

>>17624953
Kys

I know writing to you makes me miserable but even if you reply out of pity i'll be feeling better. I'm lonely and miserable , i'm not clingy but i still wanna talk to you because you're the only person on this earth that can make me feel better, even just for a while. You hurt me by ignoring me, i just want you to know that.

>>17624876

I don't want to beg for cash at all since I almost threw up when asking family (and denied) for anything and I don't believe my plight is one that deserves much charity. I've made it known to friends and family I'm willing to work anything for cash but nobody will assist me or they never get back to me. I've never harmed them or anything and I'm only guilty of screwing my life up to this point. I was even a good, hard worker in the past but I got laid off and now I'm just fucked.

Your advice is good. Your idea of odd jobs does sound like it could be profitable or at least give me some cash to make it by. I'll try that route to see if anyone needs help or maybe just temp work even if it's just a day.

I apologize for the rambling nature of my posts though since I'm just not in my right mind and pretty much my back is to the wall right now. I'm just getting a harsh dose of reality due to my mistakes. In the end I can only look out for myself and my family and friends never really cared.

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Why the fuck do i like S so much.

This constant constant fight between my heart and my brain is killing me, on top of that im losing control of my emotions like never before, and somehow i still manage to stay afloat while this emotional rollercoaster happens

The funny thing is that apparently all the effort im putting to get this girl is making other girls like me, but i don't want any other girl, i need to become better, faster, stronger

i know i can do this, i just need some time, it's all or nothing, if i lose again it will be devastating for me, the only person that could save me in that case is P but i haven't seen her in years

God what the hell is going to happen to me if you go away S, my heart wants to be with you so much

These past few days I have been in perpetual anxiety and low mood boarding on depression. I am scared shitless of what the fuck I am going to do with the rest of my life and if I will ever find what I am passionate about. I have always wanted to do something big and important but I am so afraid of being mediocre in something that I'm not passionate towards.

I recently got into a relationship with a girl I really like and she helps with my anxieties. Without her I would be in a much worse place.

It's my birthday weekend, I'm turning 25, and have done nothing with my life except fight to recover from the conditions I've been in since practically childhood. No career, no talents or hobbies, few friends (Who I'm incredibly thankful for.), low education having had to get my GED, basically no home, living out of one room with my animals which won't last much longer, and nothing but an incredibly low-paying job and mediocre-at-best-though-looking-up mental health, and here I am finally breaking and posting on a board I've simply lurked on off-and-on for just about forever. :/

Been coming through a lot of problems, and thought I was in a mental space where things were starting to come together. Still feel that way some of the time, but I've had a lot of other stuff on my mind besides my own recovery and quality of life recently. Asked a girl I care about out and got declined, though we stayed friends and keep hanging out and nothing's weird between us. At first I felt great even after having been turned down; we were still friends, and hey- I'd been strong enough to actually ask despite my own issues. I still feel good about that, but... She was right that it's not the time to be trying to be in a relationship, whether she meant herself, or me, or likely both of us. Even though I've found out she does like me, I've been thinking a lot since then and realized that no matter how much better I've been doing, or how much better my communication has gotten over the years, I still have a lot of lasting effects from the shit I went through personally.

>>17625074


I have trouble with physical contact with people still to an extent, to the point where I at least can't initiate even in friendly horsing-around type gestures a lot of the time. Despite my efforts to get over my problems with non-communication (Basically selective mutism.), it's still present in certain situations where I just can't or don't know how to respond or participate. I'm probably boring as hell to be around, seeing as for the most part I simply respond to conversation as opposed to bringing up my own topics or initiating conversation, simply wanting to not annoy anybody or embarrass myself. I STILL doubt and second-guess all of my own thoughts and feelings, besides being almost entirely out-of-touch with my feelings to begin with to this day. I have no real experience with dating aside from my last relationship, which was an abusive, manipulative situation. And I'm still dealing with the panic attacks that come up every so often, though I'm doing better with them and she has shown to not be bothered by them at all having dealt with them herself for years.

With all of these problems going on, I'm still as unfit for a relationship as I was when I was with my ex. As a matter of fact, I had given up on even entertaining the thought until I met this girl and feel like we've connected in some way. And I know for her part she feels the same way, thinking it'd never happen, being afraid of trying again and so on... But even though sometimes I feel like throwing caution to the wind and just trying again, feeling like I do about her, I have to face the fact that I'll probably never be ready for such a relationship. I'd be nothing but a burden and a bore, and it'd probably never work out. I go back and forth between these extremes, not knowing what I should do or even want out of this. Really, at least for now and likely ever, I should just continue being friends with her. That alone is enough for me, and truthfully more than I even deserve.

>>17625074
>>17625077


I'm probably going out to celebrate my birthday alone on the friend I'm talking about's suggestion, but as silly as it is I kind of want to ask if she'd go with me, but I feel like that's not right of me to ask so I'll probably just go it alone.

Sorry that this is so long and rambling, it's late and I'm just a little bit drunk. And here I am apologizing to the internet, fuck me, lol.

>>17625078
Go for it dude, I don't want to say too much, I don't want you to over think anything. Whenever people tend to over think things they get thrown into a mental rut and all they can do is focus on certain aspects of whatever it may be (generally negative aspects). Ask this chick out, go out with her for your birthday. You don't even need to tell her its your birthday just organise to see her on that day. Don't over think it, just go through with it.

I have not felt this alone in a long time. I'm in a failing relationship that has been sinking for the past few years but I've refused to jump ship out of fear and hope that it can turn around (it never will). Our sex life could not be more dead. She doesn't respect or have pride in me. She disapproves and looks down upon me because of my interests in anime and gaming. She used to be more interested in my geek aspirations but over time she has "matured" (her words) and does not find the amusement anymore in such things. We have nearly nothing in common anymore. And yet we are stuck together because we stupidly bought a home together a year back.

I have no idea what to do. I have no one to talk to. I have no real friends I can really talk to about serious shit. I just feel so alone despite not actually being alone that it makes me want to scream or cry sometimes but I can't because it would just start a fight.

I just wish I could have someone who would listen and care about what I have to say and be supportive.

>>17625088
Have you communicated this to her?

>>17625091
Yes, and it only leads to her being upset with me. Like why should I expect her to do things for me that are not enjoyable for her. It's selfish of me and such. I've given up trying to be open with her on this stuff. It sounds quite toxic, I know. But it's gotten to the point where I am even starting to believe her. Is she right that I'm selfish to want her to change her outlook on me, or should I change myself instead?

How does one get over being deeply in love with someone you can't have, and attempt to fall in love with someone new even if you know you might not feel the same intensity of emotions? How can one love two different people and choose between one or the other if the intensity varies. This confuses me to no end, and I feel like fear is partially to blame.

>>17625109
What is it that you fear?

>>17625117
What do I fear? Perhaps the struggle of trying to find someone, show them the intensity of your soul, and worry whether they'll be able to appreciate and reciprocate the feeling in full. The fear of trying again, and again to achieve the same passion you might have felt in the past, but can't seem to replicate. Not to much the heartache or rejection, although that certainly is bad, but more of the hopeless and frantic feeling of despair that comes along with trying to find someone so special again. Perhaps that's the sort of fear that I'm thinking of.

As for the second sentence in regards to fears, that was just more a general statement for anyone in that sort of situation I suppose.

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>>17625109
>How does one get over being deeply in love with someone you can't have, and attempt to fall in love with someone new even if you know you might not feel the same intensity of emotions?

i really wish i could help you im kind of in the same boat

What exactly is the reason why you can't have that person?

My fight isn't over yet, and maybe i don't have the best chances of winning but im doing my best to improve everyday

if you still have a chance don't lose hope yet, work on improving yourself and keep at it, maybe someday things will go your way and you'll get what you want

>>17625109
>>17625138
To me it sounds like you are not ready to go out there seeking love just yet. I believe that you can't give someone your all while someone else is still haunting your mind.
Plus, don't be offended by this, unless you were already with this first person before, I think you are just enamoured by them. Kind of like a crush that you put on a pedestal of unobtainable measure that no one else can ever match. Until you learn that this person really isn't worth your time (because like you said, they are not possible to be with) you won't be able to move on.

>>17625145
Hah, well thanks for the input anon, I wish you the very best as well if you're anything like me.

You keep going and push yourself anon, do it both for them and yourself as well. You are an inspiration and should feel proud that your presence alone can affect others with merely your own input. So I'll be rooting for you as well, because I feel your pain and wouldn't wish it even on my worst enemies.

As for myself, it's a bit of a classic situation you could say, where the love is there but circumstances just won't allow for it to happen. I guess you can say that I do have them, at least in an emotional context, but knowing that someone else has them in both a physical and official context just gets to me. It's silly I know, but I guess I can admit that I'm shallow in admitting that I want someone fully and on all levels. Things can improve like you said, and I have hope, but I also keep it in the back of my mind that in some sense I may need to move on someday.

I keep manipulating people, compulsively. It's strange, I just can't help myself, most of the time I don't notice I'm doing it. I've never even thought about it, until my girlfriend called me out for it. After she told me I was being manipulative, I started looking back, and realised I pull the same cheap tricks with everyone, in every situation. A bit of emotional blackmail here, a bit lying there. I never saw how much I did it until yesterday. I won't go into details, because the circumstances are kind of irrelevant. I'm worried about our relationship. She deserves better than that. I love her very much.

She's experienced enough to know when guys are trying to pull her strings, so I even if I wanted to, it's not like I could get away with it. I just want to stop this behaviour /adv/, she means the world to me, and I'm scared what I might try next.

>>17625158
I'm not offended at all, if anything I'd like to thank you for being so blunt with me. It's refreshing to get another person's input on things like this.

>I believe that you can't give someone your all while someone else is still haunting your mind.
I can agree with that, even if it might seem like I'm struggling with that issue currently. I've been under the firm believe that if I was to give my all to someone I'd want their all back in return, so before I even can attempt to find someone new, I'd need to clear my mind of any other lingering feelings. Easier said than done, but a point well taken.

Hmmm, as to your main suggestion, I think you might have a point. I honestly don't often form crushes on others very often, so when I do form some sort of romantic bond, it hits me fairly hard until something changes. Thanks for putting it like that though anon, I'm going to save your post so I can look over it in the future. If things turn out where I really can't ever be with or see this person, then the first thing I'll look back to will be your advice.

>>17625085

You're right, overthinking is exactly what I've been doing. 'Will she be weirded out if I ask her to come out for my birthday, even though she wasn't after I straight up asked her out?/Is it too much of me to ask of her?/Is she going to feel awkward if I want to and likely will have a couple drinks and she doesn't want to?', ect, ect. Thing is, I'm afraid if I don't think things through they'll end up as bad as they always do, but maybe thinking to such a degree is the actual problem.

She already knows it's my birthday, she's the one who suggested I go do something for myself, concerned because I was originally going to do nothing, and we were supposed to hang out to work on a project we've had planned this weekend anyway. But disregarding all of that, you're right; I should just ask her. It's not even a big deal, right? Thanks for the reply, man!

I really want to see you again so I can tell you I love you.

>>17625020
Nah man it's a thread for rambling, basically. Ramble away. I would just say that if things are as bad as they seem, you might need to beg for money somehow. It's either beg now while you
can at least do it somewhat comfortably, or beg on the streets.

I mean, I dunno. Maybe you'll find something so it won't come to that. If you lived near me, I'd probably pay you to clean my house or something. But yeah, just keep asking around.

And if you have to sell something, sell that gun. It's not over yet, man.

Pubes are so annoying to cut

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>>17624866
Sounds like you are better off ignoring this person. I am going through something kinda like this , the person is just all about themselves and when you confront him about it he acts like a baby....it just got me down and I have enough going on in my own life - you might too so I think you are better off taking care of your self for now. Maybe just take a good long break and see how it goes. Hope that helps.

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>>17624873
Give it time , everyone goes through that at some point several times in life. Maybe find things that really interest just you and enjoy that. Friends will come and go , and not always be real friends so , try to be patient I guess.

>>17624910
I kinda know that feel , it is weird right ? lol...Probably will pass after a while , hope things work out.

Wow do I have an urge to go kill myself.

It's almost 3a.m.

Maybe I should take a drive somewhere and smoke a bowl.

Idk.

>>17625177
Realizing you have an issue is a great thing anon , you are already on your way to being less of what you don't want to be. Sounds like you gotta good girl there , she won't BS you.

>>17625247
It's super rainy, also, so maybe I should just drive. I do love the rain. Or kill myself in the rain.

Idk

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>>17625247
Death is a no return thing anon , hope you have though about all the things that you have yet to experience. Life swings between awesome and shitty all your life and for EVERYONE , right now you feel shitty , it will swing back eventually if you can have the courage to get through this moment.

>>17624528
Met someone online, it's LDR obviously. We're vid chatting for the first time tomorrow and I'm nervous as fuuuck. Doesn't help that I rarely vid chat.

>>17624528
>>17624528
A bit drunk... Buuut...

>incoming ramble

There's a girl that may have dropped hints throughout my first year in college (3 or 4 years ago).
I really wanted to ask her out, even in high school. She seemed awesome.
But she's in a long distance relationship (US to UK).
I can't get over how I keep letting myself assume that no one would ever be attracted to me, and that I should save the effort and potential rejection and just stick to myself while lamenting in my loneliness.
Now I'm 23, about to get back in to college, and she still haunts my dreams. I've been seeing a therapist (for like 2 years, with a 9 month break included), but it's not helping in regards to my situation with her. She manages to creep in to my thoughts every day. Whenever I dream about her, I strive to remember the dream.
I used to watch her stream on twitch(before learning she was in a ldr) and it brought me the utmost joy just to interact with her and have her acknowledge me (anonymously, of course. I don't think she knew who I was).

And now I know I have to let it go, because she seems happy. And I've let it go in the past... But to no avail. She always pops up in my thought and dreams.
Fuck. I'm so uncomfortable approaching people in general, and always assume that they will reject me. Fuck. It's like no amount of therapy can help me get over auto-self-depreciation. I think it's because it keeps me feeling safe and prevents me from getting rejected. It's not like I've never received a compliment; I just shoot them down as pleasantries. Shit. I spent my fucking adolescent years on these boards instead of socializing (I'm not necessarily bad at it) but anxiety and panic always get the best of me.
What the fuck. I've made so much progress with my mental health but this seems like it will never go away.
Thanks for listening.

I can't wait for my dad to die so I can spit on his corpse.

>>17624828
depends. if you don't make digs at anyone else, you're more than justified to feel this way and let others know that you don't take too kindly to it, and if they're your pals they will understand.

he is a fucking controlling alcoholic psychopath that cheated, raped and beat up his ex girl friend. and everyone is urging for me to go for it. they don't know him like I do, and he doesn't act in a way that would even imply what he is capable of. maybe I ought to go for it and get the karma I deserve for all the hurt I have ever caused.

>>17625417
You sound like a dramatic retard

Being an "ideas guy" sucks.

>>17625212
Initials?

We’ve been together for 13 years. We continue to live together, but we have separate rooms and have had a sexless marriage for over two years. We have tried marriage counselling. At times it feels like we are making progress, but two or three years ago there was a sense of resignation (perhaps from both of us) and it has been no sex, no counselling, no real effort to rejuvenate the relationship – just a focus on making the household work and co-parenting our much-loved boys.

There is now no intimacy. I’m not blokey, I’m a feminist at heart, but I have to admit that sex did help as the gateway to intimacy, conversation and candour. That’s all gone now.

Perhaps I could have made a more consistent effort to be affectionate and caring and open, but we were stuck in a cycle; she would be critical of so much of what I did and the criticisms would make me withdrawn. Counselling was some small help for a while, but I think all those efforts are exhausted. Neither of us are suggesting that we go back. The effort now is to have a workable non-sexual, non-intimate, functioning relationship where the boys can grow up loved and secure.
I have no Idea what to do.

>>17624528
im really white and need to get into the sun more

I'm so creepy that I googled her name several times.
I know I'll never get her, based on her reaction. It's so hurts because the other week she seemed to be very happy.
I don't know what to do. I know we will be very hard to meet again after next week. I don't want to lose her. But somehow I can't text her because she probably hates me or she already knew. That I like her.

>>17625526
you already have a thread godamn

>>17625526
maybe it's time to end it. Who's to say you guys won't be happier in the long run by yourselves? Either way, I wish you the best

>>17625526
If it's just for show already, might as well make it official and open the marriage so you can fuck other people while living together and raising your kids.

>>17624934
Go fot it anon

>>17624956
You need love. Take some.
*LUV*

>>17625007
HE/SHE'S TOXIC
and its gonna damage you
Get the hell out of it
I hope you'll soon find a way to feel better, anon, you will
A hug

>>17625007
Pretty much this but im not that down, just super ass lonely and missing that one person that made it shine.

I understand that she didnt want to be with me anymore and my brain always understood but my heart didnt.

That still didnt change the fact that she is the only person who i can really talk to, that genuinely cares and is interesting and fun. I still cant believe i lost her.. I never got over losing her no matter how much time has passed or what i do... I never wanted to lose my best friend.

I was just a stupid kid when we got tohether and now that im older and wiser, tougher and more in tune with myself as a person, youre just going to abandon me like that and blatantly ignore any contact i try to make no matter how much time had passed? Even as just your friend?

I miss living with you and i just miss you so much.. I was being really stupid that day when i worked all day all night, it was my fault, i thought you knew the situation i was in and how it made me feel.

I know you stopped loving me like that a while ago, so many things have happened but i never stopped loving you. I think thats why it hurts so much.

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Why do girls come here to offer advice for lonely guys? We don't have people wanting to talk to us every day, so just fuck off with your ''friends come and go'' advice.

>>17624953
kek

I don't know. I'm still not sure. Sorry.

>>17625637
Why do you come here asking for advice?

really mad right now
not necessarily an issue with me, but my sister. she's autistic and had to leave her old school due to bullying, kids used to yell "pikachu's dead" at her because pokemon was her "thing" at the time
just got home, we were walking through the park and i see these two 12? 13? year olds chilling on this tree climbing frame thing. you can just tell they're little shits
course as we walk past i hear one of the cunts say "oy callum, i hate pikachu". she didn't get upset but she clearly heard them
now, we live pretty close to this park. i'm not sure if they were following us or if they decided to leave at the same time but they definitely saw were we live, which i'm not exactly pleased about
also i'm pretty sure i killed my orchid today which i'm sad about

My ex cheated on me (possibly multiple times, not sure if with only one person), and lied to me about it even after I confronted him with concrete proof. He stuck to his story even while I was in the process of breaking up with him. He also shit-talked me to his best friend, and that hurt almost as much.

Here's one of the things he said to her, which is one of the things that hurts the most. This was after he'd said that I was the prettiest girl he'd been with, and a fuckton of other grand compliments about my personality and tastes;

Him: "Though, I almost stopped talking to her when she told me.

She has...mild aspergers...

Do I deserve a humanitarian award? lol"

When I told him personally, he said "That doesn't make you any less beautiful or precious to me."

It's almost been three months since I broke up with him and all of it still fucking stings. I think about him so much, I can't help it. I hate it, literally everything reminds me of him, or serves as a gateway to another reminder of him.

I want to be able to move on and live my life, but it feels like I'll be stuck grieving over this forever. I never got the closure I needed and it haunts me every day.

>>17625960
I can relate with how frustrating it can be to want to move on from drama but to have your mind involuntarily obsessing about it and making you feel bad 24/7 no matter what you try to do. It can be pretty maddening and draining. I'm the same way I absolutely need closure and to try and resolve the conflict with the person I was talking to.

I'm really sorry to hear he said those things to you about your aspergers and the way that situation unfolded was pretty unfortunate. Must have felt absolutely betrayed and lied to when he said that despite saying he was fine with the aspergers earlier.

You will find somebody that will be much better to you than he was and when you're with them all of this will be a distant memory. I wish I knew what to say to help you forget about him now but I really don't know what to say.

You are a beautiful person who doesn't deserve to get hurt by anyone and I hope you find that special someone someday

I'd rather kill myself than have to break up with my abuser because I know he will take our cat. She's sleeping on me right now and I honest to god just want to die so I don't have to live without her /not knowing that she's safe.

>>17626056
When he goes to work, take your cat, and valuables and run

I wish you'd pay more attention to me in a sexual way. Our time together is so much fun but my body needs more. Especially from my own boyfriend.

>>17626085
>>17626056
Catnipping?!?!

My life is shit, it has been shit for since I known it, everyone around is shit.

But I won't blame anyone but my self, at least I had the time to do something about it, right now I don't, the train has arrived at the station and is now long gone, god I'm such a stupid, self-hating person and there is nothing good in my life to keep me going anymore.

I mean I always thought tomorrow will be better but it never came, and right now it never will, all my hopes are dead and buried and I should be the same.

Shut up!!!!!! God you're such a fucking sociopath. Go die.

>>17626218
Whoa calm down, what's wrong?

>>17625570
Use a lot of sunscreen well not too much enough that you won't get sunburned.

>>17625406
That's horrible.. I don't know your life story or whatever you're going through, you should talk to a professional counselor if you really need to!

>>17625236
Be carefyucarefuluse a moisturising cream afterwards and maybe ingown hair cream for pubes if there is such a thing!

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>meet qt 4 months ago things going well
>go on dates spend multiple nights at her house
>end up spending a whole week there
>do things that couples do
>get on the topic of us one night about a week ago
>she says she doesn't feel a spark
>then proceeded to say
>I love the way you treat me and how safe I feel in your arms
> love when we cuddle and kiss
>says she didn't feel a spark
>her and I talk the next day and agree we are just going to be FWB like before
>still cuddle and have sex
>things going very well between us after that talk
>playful and everything
>last week as been weird
>she doesn't go to bed till I have to leave in the morning for work
>two nights ago she got into bed and didn't want to cuddle with me

Finally ask her what's up and shit
>she says she's second guessing the benefits parts of our friendship
>text her saying you've never had a problem before and you loved it then say
>text her saying "let me guess your ex is trying to get back in your life"

>pic related what she said

I shouldn't be feeling they way I am bros.. Last night after all this shit happend I went and fucked another girl and I didn't even enjoy it.. All I could think about was her.. A part of me just wants to stays and try to be friends with her . But I don't know if I can handle ever seeing her and him together. I opened up to her and I invested so much time and actually tried with her and this is what I get..

I have a winter hat that I got last year, it's pretty but it reminds me of a really bad time because I was wearing it at the time. I'm afraid to wear it now. Because I'm afraid someone will recognize it

>>17625575
Stop

>>17625575
ask her out?

I like you

I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it
I need you to talk and be open with me just as much. Because frankly, I am so terrified right now that I want to cry. I'm trying even if it doesn't seem like it. I need help. I fix things that are broken, but I, myself, am beyond repair. If anything, I can tell you that - as cliche as it sounds. I am literally fucked up. It fucks me up more to admit it, because I'd like to think I'm normal and happy. But shit, I've been coming here for years. And I'm fucking delusional? Or are people making me feel this way on purpose? I'm paranoid.

Anyway, I knew this would happen. I didn't expect it so soon. Why did you act that way at your apartment with them? Why did you stop mentioning their name, avoid their work, and stare longingly at those apartments? What the fuck happened?

Anyway, taking a step back, I appreciate my insanity for the most part. But if I feel someone has betrayed me, I am fueled with resentment.

This is breaking me down. I get worse and worse every single day.

this city is about ready to explode in riots. you can see it just driving down the street, the hate pouring off of people. hate for people they know nothing about. race relations have stepped back about 100 years. hell I had a black doctor try to refuse me medication for an infection she told me was possibly life threatening and act like I was an entitled white boy for coming up in there and asking for help.

this is going to get worse, this is going to get stupid, this is just going to give racists justification, and sway those who previously gave loyal support.

real unfortunate.

Fuck you all.
I hope you will be happy when im dead.
You all are horrible pieces of shit and I dont need you.

>>17626406
Don't kill yourself bruh

You know, I'd literally drop everything right now and marry you right this instant if I could.
If I only could.

>>17626490
why can't you?

I don't love you anymore. I've been doing nothing but waiting for you to finally come around and treat me like a woman. You don't even like to talk to me anymore. It was great at the beginning but you obviously lost affection for me. I wish I could just get rid of you. I wish I didn't waste my time convincing myself that you were right for me.

The time we spent together meant nothing to her. For me it meant everything. Nothing has ever hurt this bad, I feel physical pain.

I really like read hair on chicks. I mean bright, obviously colored, red. But the thought of her hair color being fake annoys me for some reason. Knowing that underneath she's really a blonde, or whatever. I don't know why.
This only seems to happen with read hair. Not green or blue or purple or what have you.

I have been lonely for 2 and a half years, i've minded my business for two and a half years. And now i've moved to university i planned on turning it around and making new friends and having fun with people who share the same interest as me. There are supposedly 12 thousand undergraduates here and i swear i have never felt more alone in my life. i know it's only been two weeks but being in this room is killing me ( btw my flatmates are never in they party basically day in and out) i dont drink so i dont get invited by others, i just hope i make some friends soon. Im really lonely

>>17626691
Go volunteer at the student pub. Best time i had, when i was in uni. Met a lot of people i wouldn't have met otherwise.

I wish I had the chance to tell you the way I really feel inside
I wish I had the chance to hold you
I wish I got to say goodbye.

>>17626535
Haha you never loved him

>>17626704

dont you usually have to be super bright and bubbly to be able to work at those places?

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>>17626719

These sound like lyrics anon

Why the fuck am I so god damn dead?! I'm sick of it...I haven't felt anything for so long even when I'm pissed off I'm not really even angry. I just act the emotions I think I should be feeling. What the hell happened, why am I like this? I just want to be normal again

>>17626729
no, working at those places usually makes you super bright and bubbly

>>17626734
Yup but it really match with how I feel right now

>>17626742

Thanks anon, that has given me hope. Gonna go tomorrow and see if there are any positions going

>>17626724
Women in general are incapable of love due to their childish minds and entitlement.

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For the past year, I've been working two jobs and it's been so brutal and soul crushing I simply can't take it. 80 hour weeks, 7 days a week without a single day off. Getting right off of work just to go into my other job, to get off again and just go right to sleep to wake up and do it all over again, It felt like a bad dream, being forced to work and not having any sense of freedom whatsoever.


Every single day, I told myself that it was for the future. Sacrificing my mental health, my weekends, the chance to go to school and further my education, my social relationships with the people I knew, my relationship with my family and loved ones, all for my job. I was always telling myself to look towards the future and how this will help me out. How much money I will save and stack up working like a jap slave for a year straight. How i'll be able to afford the things i've always wanted, how i'll be able to travel, see new places, do the things with my friends that I couldn't do before. To be able to blow my money on weed and still have cash to pay bills/gas/general adult things

And here I am, exactly a year later; with fucking NOTHING to show for it. No cash, I didn't save up a single penny, I didn't pay off any of my debts, my relationships with my friends and family are dead and gone, it just all went wrong.

To top it off, this girl I'm madly in love with and always felt insecure to because she's such a great person in life, said some shit to me offhand the other day all casually like

>Well I don't want to be a broke loser like you sorry

even as a joke, it was devastating, this entire year of hard work and torturing myself summed up in one pathetic comment. It didn't even hurt to hear, it was just a cold reality check. I feel like I'll always be a manchild no matter what I do or how hard I try
Suicide has never seemed more appealing and i've been suicidal for like 10 years. Fuck this life bros.

I know I look like a cynical asshole but deep inside I'm suffering mentally

I don't know how to talk to people, 23 and still a virgin
People try to start a convo with me and I just say short word responses and I guess they think I don't care, but I do

I know it seems stupid, but a few years ago my whole class sang ME, a neckbeard antisocial retard, happy birthday and I couldn't even say thank you and it looked like I was just ignoring them and being an ass, but it stuck with me


I wish I was able to make friends, all I do is smoke marijuana by myself to cope with the pain of being lonely forever

I'm too depressed to even try suicide, I'd rather suffer forever

4chan is the only place that makes me feel alive and I just decided to stop by /adv/ to see what's up and I see this thread

>tfw come home from UNi even though I don't want to
>Xbox broke
>computer doesn't have a ducking wifi card for some reason
>nobody home
>no friend until 4 hours from now
>didn't even bring my instrument or backpack to work on shit
Should I just kill myself now ?

>>17626811
>And here I am, exactly a year later; with fucking NOTHING to show for it. No cash, I didn't save up a single penny, I didn't pay off any of my debts, my relationships with my friends and family are dead and gone, it just all went wrong.

HOW?

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I spent a total of 7 years after a girl who hardly knew I existed. I was infatuated with everything about her. She kept me alive during depression, and was kind of a beacon during most of my hard times. Thought about her every day, and dreamt about her every night. Just over a week ago I received word from friends that a girl I was also partially interested in (10/10) thought I was awesome. It was like a trigger; I jumped ship and started after her. Messaged her, tried talking to her, all that. Just found out she may have a boyfriend, and if she doesn't she definitely will soon. I backed off.

Lately my crippling loneliness has been making a strong comeback, and I'm struggling a lot. I've never been in a relationship, and I crave love. I feel like a traitor to the other girl, and so discouraged by this last encounter.

I am so hurt inside

I'm on that list. #46. But you'd never know it was me.

>>17626858
I really don't fucking know but it's easily the worse I've ever felt in my entire life

I really can't wait to end it all
I don't know how I can be such a loser

>>17626218
You love me though

>>17626811
you've literally had no time to spend money on anything but maybe eating? where did it all go?

For being hispanic, I can be pretty damn invisible sometimes

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>tfw possibly being ghosted by my friend-collector buddy so he can make room for his newer, more interesting pals
Well then.

I'm only genuinely happy when I'm drunk. I don't know what to do with my life in any aspect whatsoever. I've not even spoken to a female outside of family & family friends in almost two fucking years.

I hate everyone I hate everything I hate it when someone does anything ( an action ex breathing eating walking talking) I get annoyed by everything

>>17624934

What a nice problem to have.

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I just realized my goal in life: To make my life better so I can make the lives of people I love better.

Starting right now I'm going to self-improve as much as I can so I can improve the situation of everyone I care about and maybe find someone down the line to care about in more intimate ways.

>>17627236
That's a really positive realization anon!

Good luck to you.

Has anyone else pretty much gotten bored of this board because the threads are all the fucking same shit?

>>17627285
My relationship cheat lonely suicide procrastinate study girl looked at me for one second check out this weird growth boyfriend husband baby mama virgin slut sex attraction decide all of my life decisions thread is very unique and original, anon, I don't know what you're talking about.

>>17627252
Thanks anon, I'm going to try my best.

I need to find myself a confident conservative woman. no more bullshit.

Phoned her, looking to finally ask her out. Finally did what I said I would do.
Except she didn't answer. Now I'm wondering if she saw my name and ignored it or if she's just busy.

Was really hoping for things to finally go in my favour.

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Well, I think I fucked up this week. To preface this, I'm a member of a waltz performance team at my university. I also have been getting some help and advice from a good friend of mine who is one of the captains and has basically become my wingman.

So there's this woman, let's call her O. I've known O for about a year now, she'd show up to social dancing lessons and social dancing events throughout the past year. We'd danced together probably dozens of times, as well as run into each other, talked, etc. Well, this year, we've been seeing a lot more of each other. We have the same major, and have an overlapping class. She also joined the waltz team this year. Since we're both on the more experienced part of the team, we wind up dancing together quite frequently. She's also been a huge help with Differential Equations.

Anyways, not only do we share classes and dance, but O is also super nerdy and dorky in all the best ways, and has an amazing sense of humor. She's good-spirited, makes all kinds of jokes, and is rather attractive. We get along very well. So I got it in my head to ask her to come with me to a masquerade ball next Saturday. Well, I did ask her after a lot of hesitation and holding back, and her response was not what I expected. I expected her to just blow me off or worse. Instead, the look on her face was like a look of shock. She said: "Do I have to answer that like right now?". I quickly realized how far sideways this was going, so I went with my gut instinct and said "Not particularly."

I feel God-awful, and really feel like I fucked this up big time. I feel worse than if she'd just straight up said no. You might tell me not to assume a "no" when I haven't gotten an answer, but in my experience, it's a very safe assumption. How could I have fucked up so bad?

>homeless
>out of money
family member offered to help me buy a car for less than 5000
I live in another state and never see them.. yet we talk over phone I live about 3500 miles away

is it rude and wrong to ask for the money before I even find a car because I would like to actually use it for rent... I wanna get a place to sleep for once. is it ok to lie about finding a vehicle to get the money

im just scared

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>tfw 21st birthday on a Monday

I hate my life

I met this really fun girl in my comp sci class, and I can't get her off my mind
I have a gf though, and I love her to bits
I'm not leaving her no matter what, but I'm still conflicted about how I feel
I just wanna protect newgirl's smile so bad guys

Teach me how to hate someone. I mean, not like your standard feelings of dislike or not wanting to interact with them, but how to entirely hate someone's existence. I'm feeling this sensation towards someone I know, and I really want those feelings to grow. Call me edgy or whatever you like, but the reason why I want to feel this way is so that I can be stronger in the long-run. Not really up to divulging circumstances either if anyone asks, all I want is pure hatred senpai.

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I don't know.
I try to be a good child, help my patients, try to study to get the case more quickly.
But why?
Honestly, I feel it's like a puzzle game to get right the case and show my co-workers how I did it fast.
I wanted to be a better person. But I don't know how to be, how to care about some other problem that person has.
I only know that it's important to get it from the patients because they belive you if you pretend to care. If they put your trust, things get easy to heal them.
The only thing I find fun now is to get my co-workers trust to know how the world works.
People get mad over little things. It's fun to watch some my co-workers get mad because someone don't know x or y, thinking they are awesome how they know about it.
I'm tired to act like a good person. Tired, but I have to keep it up, after all.

I like masturbation more than sex

I'm tired, exhausted and almost positive I am depressed but not willing to get medical help yet. I work 1st job from 1AM - 6AM, then classes from 7:30AM - 1:15 PM, then 2nd job from 2PM - 6PM. I have 1 day out of the week where I can afford to sleep in an extra 3 hours then I spend the whole day catching up or getting ahead in homework or projects. I sleep in my car between classes and work even though I have my own bed and room elsewhere, I'm just too afraid to sleep in and miss my class or shift.

I cry in between jobs and classes because it feels so painful and I am so afraid I'm letting everything go.

I wish screaming for help would actually work.

>>17628054
I'll take care of it, she'll be in good hands.

lol seriously, hang out more with your gf

>>17628059
Hate may be a motivator but it's a shitty one. It takes up too much of your time and energy and distracts you from getting useful things done. It doesn't make you stronger, it makes you one-dimensional and makes you weirdly dependent on the person you hate to motivate you to get almost anything done. It's better to dismiss the person as unworthy of a single moment of your time.

>>17626759
both parties lose interest in a relationship eventually
it's an inevitability that didn't exist 200 years ago because men usually died by the time they hit middle age
for every woman that acts childish and bears a false sense of entitlement there's a shallow "nice guy" who acts the same way. if you're incapable of dealing with humanity by all means feel free to leave. this current crop of weak, stress-addled, shitty excuses for men who bitch and whine whenever their entitled concubines don't work they want them to makes me literally sick to my stomach.. that you blame it on women shows you just how much of irresponsible manchild you are.

stick with 2D like the good little loser you are.

I feel awkward for being in relationship with person which im not sure if I love

My coworker with the neck and hand tattoos is really attractive. Really, really, really attractive. And completely out of my league. I don't have any tattoos. I'm totally boring.

So. Fucking. Hot.

>>17626759
No they're not

>>17626677
Can't offer much, other than sympathy. I'm right there with ya

>>17627384
Don't worry, you're just over thinking it. Try again.

>>17625049
More details?

I can't stop thinking about my ex and it's destroying me. It'd been almost two months, I want this torture to end.

I can't avoid trying to get to know someone knowing the fact I can't get into a relationship

To overcome my issues I try to talk to people, which ends generally well if I want to have friends, but I've never been able to get anywhere else due to several body issues.

It irks me that people think I'm attractive and I should try to get on that when I can't easily describe my issue without getting naked.

Right now there's a girl in class that I know doesn't really dig me that much, but somehow I keep trying to get in touch with her as much as possible.

>>17628556
hah, 2 months, check out small time over here

come back in 20 months

>>17624839
Try robbing a bank

>>17628630
How did it end for you?

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>>17628755
Different anon but this month is 2 years and still miserable

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J, I'm in love with you, been for months but I'm pretty sure you'd never want anything but sex with me. I've messed things up. Shouldn't have fucked you, now I just got greedy and this motherfucking situation kills me

>>17624528
any woman insight anon available?

so there's this girl, who after a year still longs for me
we had something going on for half a year
yet decided at the beginning of that year she needs to go back to her ex

why?
because she, and that we both established
>fears to be alone
>knows what she's getting out of him
>thinks he is immature (she is his first), childish at times and inexperienced
>she sees me as her mature, experienced guy
>she's clinging on to that teenage relationship because every other failed around them and she wants to show everyone that it can exist

over a month ago
>can we get some more distance between us? aka not write with each other?
>need to make myself clear what i want
>writing with you is making me sorta just look into one way

texted her on her birthday, a week ago
she thanked me and told me she appreciated that
wanted to start some smalltalk
but got shut off with "i don't wanna ignore you, that's why i'm answering you. you know i don't want any contact at the moment"

>talked to her two days ago
>asked her how long we shall remain on each others contact list, not texting while we both want that
>she tells me she just doesn't want contact with me for an indefinitely amount of time
>actually declares me her "ex-bf", although we never established a real relationship
uhm what?

is that her way of trying to cope with it, labeling me as some ex-bf?

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It's this girl, Im gonna fuckin marry her. She might be batshit crazy, but I don't care, because she's my kind of crazy. She told me she's not ready yet to be with anyone since she just got out of a relationship. That's fine though, I can wait. I'll probably fuck some other girls while I wait, but it won't mean anything to me. None of them can compare to this one girl.

Every time I get around her, my fuckin vibrations start going haywire and my heart beats a million miles an hour. The way our bodies moved when we had sex before, the warmth of her skin against mine, the ridges on her athletic body, the passion in her kisses, it's enough to make a man go into a frenzy.


I need to take this woman out on an actual date, because now that I'm writing this, I'm afraid that I'm only bound to her by lust, rather than a genuine interest in her as a whole. But fuck, I can't get her out of my head.

>>17628556
I just had a dream about my ex leaving a party with some douchey looking frat guy and I woke up and felt very little.
This is 6 months going now, before the dreams had me in a really bad place, and seeing her gave me anxiety attacks. You'll get better, anon. Just think about why it was bad. My relationship was really emotionally abusive and now that I understand that, I can just see her as an asshole who will be miserable, instead of a bad decision on my part to break up.

Wake me up before you go go,
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.
Wake me up before you go go

Actually, don't wake me up. No really, I'm tired as fuck, let me sleep

>>17628434
Thanks.
I probably am. Plan on trying again today so not to come across as desperate or creepy.

Worried that if she doesn't answer this time I'll have to deal with her asking me why I phoned her on a day off, when we work again this week.

Fuck you Gilligan, my living is in jeopardy because you miss feeling empowered.
Other bitch, I'm not covering your mistakes anymore.
Team, Fuck you. I don't like any of you, and frankly, the only white boys on the team are the nicest. Fuck you.

I have the worst feeling that someone is about to dump me as a friend. It's happened before and I had this same sinking feeling in my stomach. The same gnawing worry in he back of my head.

I really don't want to lose this person.

>>17629562
Who is this person? A childhood friend? A lover?

>>17629566
A friend I've had for about a year. I met them on this site.

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>Tfw people feel the same as you do and have exactly the same problems

I love you lads

>>17629575
Which board did you meet them on?

I'm obsessed with a girl that hates me for no reason. I can't deal with this. I'm freaking out.
I liked her from before she started hating me.

I'm slowly starting to think I'm never going to have a relationship.

I just can't seem to win with women. I mean I had a gf a few months ago, and I've spoke to a few women since, I'm not exactly wizard tier but everything I touch seems to turn to shit.

Recently I spoke to a girl all day, and at end of that day she seemed to have already grown to hate me. Insane. I literally talked myself out of what could have been something. No word of a lie. I spilled a fucking load of spaghetti and it seems like she's turned fb chat off for me.

All I had to do was say some generic bullshit and be cool, and I still fucked up. What's wrong with me.

>>17629648

Then say generic bullshit next time and learn to relax around women. I was a complete autist around women until I realised they don't give a shit what you say (within reason) so long as you are completely calm and composed around them.

>>17629647
Why does she hate you?

>>17629659
I'm fine in person but I come off as a fucking sperg online.

She started asking personal questions and saying personal shit. All I had to do was be more vague, calm and collected but I just dug myself a hole by being too sincere when replying to her. All I had to do was give some generic answers but I sperged out, she gave me a false sense of security. Fuckkkkkkkk

>>17629687
I have no clue, I just assume she does since she avoids being near me for too long, talks to me in a serious tone, doesn't ever hold a conversation with me when I talk to her, and replies to my texts in one word.
I can't think of anything I could have done to make her dislike me like this.

I have no idea what to do here. On one hand, you were the only one who ever showed me any warmth after we all graduated high school. I guess I'm still attached to that idea. I really want to believe that you still are that person. But yesterday, you kinda wrote me off. I'm not sure if the person I remember you to be would ever do that, which makes me think that maybe you aren't that person anymore. And that kills me. I don't want you to change. I want you to be the same person you've always been to me. I can hope and dream, but, deep down, I guess I shouldn't be surprised to know that I've been replaced....again. All of our friends have changed, I guess I shouldn't be surprised to know that you've changed too.

Why am I such a fucking narcissist? I went to my best friends wedding, was the man of honor, and still managed to wallow in my own self pity. I'm disgusting.

People who full on ghost people who have NEVER harassed, abused, or intimidated them, are shitty people.

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I respect the Army, but I can't spend my the rest of my youth here. I want to travel, even backpack around the world.

I've slept in ant-infested sands, frozen my ass off in swamps; I don't mind nature. It's like no matter where I go, I feel at home. I don't need anything crazy to be happy, but I need to be free.

Whenever I look at the sky, I wonder how far it stretches and what kinds of places lay under it. Nobody I work with seems to be interested in finding out; everybody's married, complacent... content.

But I don't have that satisfaction. I need to see the world for myself. But I don't know for sure where or how to start. Am I being foolish? Looking back, adventure is all I ever wanted since I was small and that still hasn't changed. Is it still possible?

>>17629644
/soc/

>>17629700
>get her attention IN PERSON not over text like a fag
>"hey, I've felt like there's been something weird going on between us, like a bad vibe or something, is everything ok?"
Either she's going to tell you what's wrong, and you can suck it up and apologize
Or she's not, which means there's either nothing wrong and you're being over sensitive/she just has a bad disposition or she doesn't find any merit in entertaining your possible apology

Well life, I have given it my best shot. I have tried everything, everything suggested to me about how to get things going, everything I could think of to try to get a good social life, to make friends, to get a girlfriend. Everything. But I am castrated because of these medications, that's it. Nothing I do can change that. Men don't want to be my friend, and women are disgusted by me, as long as I am on these meds. And if I come off, I start to have the life I want until I go mad.

'Those whom the gods would destroy they first make mad'

What is the point of trying at all? I should either kill myself or become a monk. There is no point. Life, if you reject me this completely, what am I supposed to do?

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I swear i'm cursed. As soon as I develop any interest in a girl she immediately goes cold.

I've had the very good luck of being pursued casually by a girl for the last two months or so. She's very nice and we have alot of mutual interest but she was going on a missionary job to South America for this year so I didn't want to fall for her as it would be a waste of time. (I'm not interested in a short term thing or sex for sexes sake).

Now that's she's away she's still phoning me and messaging me and since people fall in love with ideas more than people themselves and she's not here my imaginations filled in certain blanks and I've falled for her.

Now every lack of message is a source of palpable anxiety and every message makes my day.

I'm becoming transparent about it too and I'll scare her off.

I don't know what the fuck to do. She'll get bored of me soon no doubt but I'll see her again next summer and I want to... well ideally i'd have taken things seriously then.

I felt nothing until this week now she's getting through to me I'll lose her. I can't deal with girls at all.

>>17630033
https://youtu.be/tLPZmPaHme0
Is this similar to what you do?

>>17629700
That's what I do when I'm around someone I like. I get all shy and nervous and don't want them to suspect that I like them, so I try to make it seem like I couldn't care less about them when in reality they're all I can think about.

>>17630053
No

I don't want these shifts to get in the way of us seeing each other. I feel we're too close in not to make it work. I can't stop thinking of you all the time, and I really want us to get even closer this week. I'll be true to you, all ways. I love you

>>17624528
i hate myself and i feel my life going in the exact direction i never wanted

>I don't need to wash this battery leakage shit off my hands, it won't kill me
You are fucking stupid.

>>17630174 here
Okay good, he changed his mind. He seems angry now though. Sorry for not wanting you to potentially ingest battery acid I guess.

40% of my motivation for getting fit is being thinner than my bitch sister-in-law by her next visit.

Yes, I swear I graduated middle and high school. But bitchy times call for smug, bitchy measures.

You've made me even more insecure about friends than I already was, I always had a feeling that sometimes when you didn't answer me, you were ignoring me, and sometimes how you left me out of playing games. Just remember, karma's a bitch.

I just found a little bright blood on paper and on the stool after bowel movement. This is the third time it happened in 9 months. My family has a history of hemorrhoids so I shouldn't be that worried (but I'm still going to the doctor next week). But why.
Why do I habe to always worry for every little thing that might be wrong with my body, why do i have to worry like this when all I want is a peaceful life?
Why?

I belong in this world like a polar bear belongs in the Sahara.

>>17630255
Bright red blood can mean intestinal bleeding. Don't know, I worry about shit like that too.

I love you, I gave you everything and got nothing back. You treat me like shit but I still love you and no matter how many times I try, I keep coming back.

>>17624528
When you pee the bed in your dreams, you pee the bed in real life...

>>17630255
Similar thing happened to me last month but it lasted for a few days then went away. I was freaking out too. Third time in 9 months doesn't sound bad.
>>17630268
Thought that's what dark red blood meant.

>>17630268
I know that's the case and i't's unlikely that it's something serious since I'm young, but fuck, why do we need this in the first place? Why can't we just go about our business? I get my worries just by living, I don't nees this shit too

>>17630304
Does it actually last for some time? Mine is a one time thing, until it reappears later like today

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I seriously need people in my life, physical and emotional contact, or I'll go nuts, but you know, social anxiety, boring personality, (any random excuse). The last months I've been spending just reading a shitton of love stories. I can't even study anymore. It hurts a little (ok a lot) to know that I'm spending my youth alone.

Ah, the problems of a break-up. I can't get my ex out of my head completely. My case might be weird, though.
She was my first and, for now, only love. I gave what I could, helped where I could, got mostly promises I actually trusted. Then we broke up. The feelings were sort-of gone, so we decided, that this relationship doesn't really work, so we went separate ways.
But after a couple of months I find out that I was, basically, friendzoned. Yeah, the relationship was sort-of there, but I was used, intentionnaly or not. I was furious, I wanted some fucking revenge, I wanted her to suffer, all that stuff. I don't talk to her anymore, even though we occasionnaly meet with our mutual friends, I refused to help when she was in trouble several times. I calmed down eventually, sure, but there are moments when I feel I need to harm her in some way. I realise this is petty as fuck, but the desire is there.
I write here because most of my friends have their own sort-of mental problems, and I'm too fucking nice to bother them with my shit.

>>17629768
Boring person detected

Only food makes me feel good.

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Ya know, i'm just tired of being a fucking depressed douche. Other depressed people i know act like it's their right to vent against the world, they keep on ranting about how life isn't fair, about injustice and stuff but you know, personally i just think that's pathetic. You can't just say the world is wrong and you are right. I know i am a pathetic faggot and there's nothing wrong with the world. Real is rational and rational is real. Too bad rationality doesn’t help shit with me feeling sad and being asocial.

I dreamed about him and I liked it.. Don't know what to think of that considering we haven't seen eachother in 2 years.
I wonder where he is now.

>>17630377
make things that make you look pretty / rich anon

my boss has social anxiety but has lots of people looking up for him because he's their boss

he also hits the gym every day so he looks fine as fuck, I think he never had a girlfriend but I bet this won't last long as he's jacked and rich now

>>17630498
I know that feeling.

An old co worker followed me out to my break and started a very uncofortable conversation with me. I also noticed everyone was acting strange. Even when i told the truth it got worse, when i went for help it made things worse. i freaked out and quit. I saw things on online from people i had no contact with, but somehow they knew everything i had done and said it freaked me out. i paniked and made things worse when i noticed one night from work i was being followed home. then i saw the scary guys with the beeping devices and they had my friend call me. its hard to explain but everything i innocently looked at my phone someone else knew. its really hard to explain, but i made it worse by getting angry and putting my problems on others. all i can guess is that someone heard a rumor or saw strange behavior from me and either tried to get back at me or make me paraniod

>>17630653
What are they accusing you of?

I might actually have to talk to a doctor and find out if this is depression or if I'm just miserable. I keep saying that I'll give it another week and see how I am but idk.

Thought about offing myself a bit recently and I turn it into a joke around my friends. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is that I wouldn't want to put my family through it and I'd feel bad for whoever finds me. Thinking back to when I was quite young, I'd try to make potions so that I could kill myself.

Feels weird to put that out there but I couldn't sleep because all of this kept running through my head. I'll give it another week and hope for the best.

look as of right now i'm ok. not like it matters but i am whoever those people were i never saw them again. i cant stop them, dont even know if theyre still doing it. they had people call me to confirm my whereabouts and used my friend. this happened awhile back but someone else heard about it and started doing it too. so i freaked out even more thats why i thought i needed help. its too much to eleborate on. but im sorry im ok i dont need anything, i dont know anything else that could help. it couldve been a bad joke or an investigastion at my old job i dont know why all of it started. but i need to let this die. i wont hurt anyone or myself. and i havent done anything illegal.

at my old job i made a few bad jokes. im assuming i pissed someone off and they used what they saw and what they thought they knew against me. my past, any customers i talked to,they said i was diseased, that i had hurt someone, that i had lied. but i had no clue what they were talking about. my old friend i used to hang out with they accused me of being a diseased home wrecker. they said i looked suspious. but i never slept with the guy, we drew pictures and talked on a break. they went as far as to have gang looking members come up to my job, and have people watch me in the parking lot when i got off work. no one could tell me anything and everyone disowned me from what was said. i gave up. i dont know how they had my information, i dont know why they had those strange customers back then. dont waste anymore of your time, whatever happens i can deal with it. its too much to explain it wouldnt make any sense. im just fucked all i can hope is that they stopped or maybe they did it just to freak me out or theyre done and have moved on with their lives.

>>17630653
>PEOPLE STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH ME AND IT WAS UNCOMFORTABLE
>THEN I SAID THINGS AND THEY ACTED IN A WAY
>A STRAANGE WAY
>IT WAS STRANGE, SO STRANGE THAT IT FREAKED ME OUT SO I QUIT
>EVERYONE KNOWS THINGS, IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN BUT THERE'S A RUMOR ABOUT ME ABOUT STRANGE BEHAVIOR
>ONE TIME SOMEONE EVEN FOLLOWED ME HOME
>I READ A THING ONLINE, A STRANGE THING, THAT I CAN'T EXPLAIN
>THE BEEPING DEVICES MAN, THOSE STRANGE MEN
>SOMEONE IS EITHER TRYING TO GET BACK AT ME OR MAKE ME PARANOID


this is so stupidly vague that unless you're ready to give us the full story and explain your entire situation I'm just going to call you a paranoid schizo

go and get help you disturbed, unstable man

>>17630294
>We love people that hurt us
>We hurt people who love us...

In October, two years ago, I nearly died in an absolutely brutal car accident.

At times, I find myself wishing I had.

I have lost everything that matters. I am unsure of what I want, now, and I just feel nihilistic.

>>17630517
What happened in the dream?

Tomorrow, I will tell you I love you.

>>17624528
>it sucks doing things by myself
>can't get friends because i'm weird
>can't do anything but watch anime and shitpost
>it makes me weirder
>vicious circle likely ending in suicide

I'm not a single mother and I'm not into crystals so meetup is a no go

I can't believe I'm really considering marrying for money.

>>17630797
Love grows with time. It grows even faster when every other aspect in your life is balanced. Financial stability is part of that.
Don't marry for money if your partner can't provide a peaceful home life though. Alcoholics, violent people, etc, no money can make up for the misery they can cause you.

>>17624528
god damnitt why did i fuck that up. I actually liked her

Tramp supporters,
How are you still shocked when you find out most artists are jackasses? We know you're slow but ffs use a new argument already!

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Have hebephilia but unwilling to act on it
Why brain?

>>17630984
>I'm normal but old hags hate men

Dude just fuck high school chicks

>>17630984

Dude, turn yourself into the police. You can do something I'm too cowardly to do.

>>17630995
I dont feel like I'm going to sperg out anytime soon and molest a kid or whatever so no thanks

I did something very stupid and I might go to jail for it so I figure if I want to kill myself before that happens, I no longer care about the consequences it'll leave with my family and friends, I just want to end it because I can't live with the shame of my relatives knowing what I did. I just need to figure out the easiest way to go out, I figure drinking myself to death or overdosing on pills will be best but I have no idea what to do...

I can't wait to move out of this house. I'm being worked like a slave and I have other shit I need to get done that isn't doing everything at your grueling pace. This past month and a half has been a nightmare.

Hopefully Ill be out of here the next 2 weeks.

>>17630142
I want more time with you.

>>17627704
Happy early birthday, anon.

This girl and I fell hard for eachother shortly after we had started seeing eachother. We made things exclusive and all was amazing until I saw her sitting outside my apartment this morning when I got home from work. She told me that she is still in love with her male roommate, who she had feelings for before, but thought she was over it. They were best friends at one point, but she fell for him and he started treating her like shit since then. She told me that she wants to get away from him, but until she can, she says that we can't be on the same relationship level as we have been. We basically went back to square one, but I still love her and I'm scared because every time this has happened to me before, they've always chosen the other person, no matter how hard I fought. I don't want to give up, but I don't want to be stuck waiting forever. I feel like I'm falling apart.

Odd.
Odd.
What is this?
I must be a very happy person...........

LF GF who is not super overweight with good interests that are in the technology field and is not looking for an unrealistic match w/ a 20 foot guy with a 10 inch dick

>>17625239
Yeah, you're probably right. Thanks man. Maybe a little tough love is what the guy needs anyway. I hope when he gets older he just gets over all this and comes out stronger.

Why am I such a bitch? I don't know how to be a man. Every girl that has interest in me has left as soon as they get to know me. I'm just a nice guy. That's it. Boring, unexciting.

I've only had one girlfriend. She was absolutely all over me at the start of our relationship. When did she stop? As soon as I started caring about her. Same with other girls.
Now, I'm unable to show enough interest to keep them curious about me and if I do show interest, it's too much and it pushes them away. I FUCKING HATE THIS.
I've read several books about how to get over this shit. I can't. Where has it gotten me? To be a person with amazing theory and advice for other people.
But when I'm talking to a girl? I think I'm doing everything right, then when I look back after it's over, I realize how wrong it all was.

What the fuck am I going to do. I feel like I've gotten to the core of the core of this problem but then why can't I fucking fix it? Why the fuck am I such a little bitch?
I've only gotten worse after my first girlfriend because she fucked me up badly.

I've always felt like "I'm just not meant to have a girlfriend" and it's true, in a sense. The proper description is I'm not boyfriend material. I'm just not.
I don't know how to do this shit. I don't know how to be a man. I don't know how to fix it, I don't know anything. I fucking try but it hasn't gotten me anywhere.

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I feel like a goddamn hypocrite.
How can I keep telling and convincing her to keep looking forward and keep living when I want to die myself?

I feel trapped as fuck and here I am telling her that no problem lasts forever.

I'm talking to her but it feels like I'm just trying to convince myself. I'm a horrible person.

The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I want to play Kingdom Hearts 3.

To give you a reference, KH2 released back in 2006. I've been holding off killing myself for ten years, and possibly more at this rate. Has Square-Enix been trying to keep me alive? What purpose do they have for me to keep living?

I'm actually being honest about all this.

>>17631387
I like kh

The cycle is starting again and I don't think I can stop it.

It's going to be a repeat of everything before, just with new names and faces.

I don't get why I can be fine alone, but the moment I start pursuing someone I become a ball of anxiety. It's funny because I'm like 95% sure you're into this as much as I am. But last night absolutely killed me, I don't get why I get jealous, anxious. I mean I get it, I'm afraid of losing you. Of losing my chance with you. But that doesn't hrlp. It just causes me to fuck up, try too hard, second guess my every action, because deep down I don't think I deserve to be happy, and then watch as everything fall apart.

>>17624528

I really love you, but honestly. 21 pilots is shit, it's absolute garbage mass produced media, fuck boi, cringe, crap. Why can't you just like something other then 21 fuck bois? It's just really annoying. Fuck they're honestly terrible and I want to rip my fucking ears off my head. But, you enjoy them, so I guess I have to suck it up

>>17624982
I wish I could forget too

im severly autistic


were you really helpiong mom? u dont text for 2 days, then say you can hang, then oops something happened and u cant, yet you dont make a comproimise to make op for it? seems fishy
almost as if u lied about the mom thing to get away from hanging with me now u wont reply for days

if this is how it is now i can just imagine when school starts, i mean you should be free now, but we barely hang, when school starts well never hang :( or talk
thought u would be less busy now cause of school.. reading..
its because you dont like me as much thats why, thats why you want to talk less, and not text morning and night daily, are you still going to text morning/night just not daily?
why do i have to nag so much for a movie you said we could watch last week
you want me out of your life thats what
i saw u legit on fb a few times ...
pokes
seriously you havent replied in 3 days.. cmon

you say talk less, but what im experiencing is barely talking at all, it honestly feels like youre trying to cut me out of your life completely, but why? werent y ou enjoying the t ime
before trip?movies games talking you seemed fine, asking me for advice first thing, i have all these things to talk about but you dont reply at all

i understand being busy, but not replying to a weeK. its its like youre trying to make me a normal friend instead of a close friend
you ignored everything else i said the past few days

i tried to find a link and u just ignore me the rest of the night, you even go back on fb
youre ignoring 90% of the tingsd i said

ok pls dont get mad, u dont need to answer but whats the something else... was it talking to another person? alot of somethings and stuff . are u hiding something
you went on fb a couple of times today but didnt reply to text/fb messages

>>17631525
Say this to her but in a less creepy way. Leap for it. Or do you not want it bad enough?

>>17624528
I really miss you right now, I wish you would call me to hangout like you used to.

I catch my gf lieing and when I tried to make her confess because Iwant to trust her I made it like I was the one not trusting. Now I can't make her confess and I have to recover her trust while I can't stop thinking on her lie.

What the fuck can I do?

I really hate group chats.
I hate being left out.

I was raped by a man who I thought was my friend after I told him I was a lesbian. And was repeatedly coerced into unwanted sex by a man old enough to be my father.
I can't look at a nude or partially nude male body anymore (especially penises) without feeling bile rising in my throat, like I'm going to vomit. Being a lesbian, this wouldn't be a problem, except that one of my classes is life drawing and we are required to draw nude male models (sometimes we have female ones, but we have a male one now). It's an irrational fear and I don't know how to get over it.

I think women are probably all evil without exception, just some are better at hiding it than others.

>>17632116
all ppl are

>>17632103
Search help, in this case search for a lsd theraphy. This might sound strange but while your body is on lsd, you process this whole bad memory. It wont make you forget it, it will make you understand. I have a friend who does this and explained everything about this to me. Just give it a chance

interesting. I seem to have too distinct types of girls that I am interested in.

>Alternative, preferably thin with short hair. (A few piercings and Tattoos)


>Chubby, kinda Awkward girls with longer, kinda wavy hair. Without Piercings or tattoos

>>17632149
I did lsd once, before I was raped, and I can't do it again. I have anxiety and became extremely paranoid and somewhat violent. My anxiety has only gotten worse after my sexual trauma.
I've also been sober for about 2 years now, because after I was raped I turned to various drugs and I'm aware lsd is not addictive but I really want to keep my sobriety

Applied for cbp got in shape enough to meet the standards was hard cause been fat all my life still am but was healthy enough to pass no problems getting real close to the end of hiring process already looking at the date for the cbp school I'm going to have to go through final test b4 the physical test is a polygraph and I failed it I have no criminal record only did weed twice on college didn't like it so never touched it again never even got a speeding ticket and now I'm out of the cbp process because I'm high-risk and apparently growing distributing selling buying and using drugs the agent tells me I failed on these questions I laugh and say hi can I be doing all of this and with a straight face this guy's says Idk you tell me fuck him fuck da machine haven't done 1 crime my whole life but apparently fuck me 2

>be me
>be really into fashion/clothes
>have long as fuck feet
>can't find any remotely nice shoes that fit me
just end my life now

Happy anniversary.

Should be kinda simple, and unneeded to ask for advice, but there is a certain level of awkwardness between us in person.

Basically I asked this girl out in April. Nothing came of it, other than getting her number. Over the following few months, we would see each other in class, and we would kinda ignore each other, or awkwardly talk a little. But we still would text occasionally, and when we did text, we would go back and forth for anywhere from 2 hours to 8 hours.

During summer it kinda warmed up a bit, we agreed to hang out, but never actually did. Now, it is October and haven't seen her since early May. Messaged her around mid-September, and went back and forth for a while. (Talking mostly about School, Volunteering and Work) One of the big things I established was that she is extraordinarily busy, while I am not

Basically I just want to figure out the best way to approach her to arrange something. (Not as a date, obviously, but just as friends.)

I really don’t talk to her often, maybe monthly at best, and really don’t see her in person, I do see her in passing, but not really enough time to talk even briefly.

>>17624528
My sex drive is driving me fucking insane. I can't concentrate or get through simple tasks because I just want to get dicked, hard. I can't do anything without getting that intense urge of fucking, but nothing feels satisfying in a longer term.
Too bad I still have trust issues and shit social skills I guess.

>>17624528
I find my neighbor really hot. Single mom, kinda young, adorable daughter.

I involuntarily said "god I love you" when we had sex the other night. She said it back.

Haven't seen her in a couple days but we're friends and keeping it that way, we already discussed it. We were both drunk. Did i fuck up??? Help

>>17633181
Just get together with her ffs.

I'm over being the girlfriend they see a future with and someone they wanna grow old with but not someone they want to be with right now.

I love you but, not "in love" with you because someone said too much of the right things to me to open my heart up again; in return making me fall in love with them. But I still want you in my life because u value our connection. :(

>>17633500
I*

>>17632653
My life.

I do this thing where I want to meet a girl but all I can do is talk to her about work or class. It's pissing me off because right now there's this chick that I kinda dig and so far I haven't done much to move forward with any different topics.

I mean I guess it's interesting that she talks to me more than the rest but that's about it I guess.

you were right, i actually am falling in love with you. fuck

I had a shitty birthday, all I wanted to do is cry, but I could not.
>No friends
>Found out ex is in relationship
>Internet was down

>>17633500
Initials?

>>17624953
Women got what they deserved after all

3rd day of abilify. Really jittery. Can't sit down to study. Have school tomorrow and test next week. Flipping out. Life sucks.

I fucking hate eating alone. I just can't stand it.

Spending forever cooking a meal just for me feels like a waste of time, and sitting down to eat it alone at my kitchen table is depressing. Eating out is even worse. Every coupon is always buy one, get one free anyways so it really drives home the fact that eating alone is for failures, and getting a table for one makes me feel like a fucking loser. (Of course, I am a fucking loser, but I really don't need the reminder.)

>>17632116
Men are evil. Women are cruel. There's a difference.

Fucking
Just
Make up your god damn mind

Friends say "let it go"

Strangers on the internet say "go for it"

Dealing with this kind of shit should not be this confusing and difficult! Romance is bullshit! BULLSHIT I SAY!

>>17633870
I feel you nigga, I feel you

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Pretty fucking confused right now .

I have a friend who has some problems with drugs and suicidal thoughts and I don't rly know how to talk about it because I'm depressed af myself .
But now the it go weirder , earlier I had talked to him while he was suicidal and he called an ambulance to get him out of his apartment . I was real scared when he didn't answer my messages for like 10min because I knew he had called an ambulance and the only reason he would n't answer me would be that he's dead. That was like a month ago and well, he's alive so that's good.

I think we're good friends but this is just weird to me , I don't know how to deal with this.
Now his brother messaged me asking me to tell him if he uses any "hard drugs" meaning anything more than weed. I really don't want to do that. I get why he'd ask that but it's just feels so wrong . I don't want to "rat him out" but then again I kind of should? I just want to do what's best for my friend but then again I believe in individual freedom. This is just too much , why should I have to deal with this ? I got problems of my own ffs. I just don't want no one to die or fuck themselves over with drugs .

I like drugs myself b ut it's way differen than what my friend does ( or so it seems to me)
I don't think drugs are bad at all, it's all about how and why you choose to use them. His brother told me he doesn't need drugs, what he really needs is his friends and support from th em. But I don't really spend time with anyone without drugs , there's always at least alcohol involved.
How am i supposed to be th ere with him if I'm not allowed to do drugs with him, that's w hat we always do

Sry my spacebar is kinda broken and shit's too intense to fix these p uny errors

>>17625526
Become swingers

>>17633703
Why?

>>17633500
That's not love

>>17633181
Lol

>>17633596
Is that such a bad thing?

(My own personal experience: yes. Fell in love with someone when we both already attached to other peeps, not so good)

>>17624828
I'm the opposite way. I love banter but no one I know does, so I've kind of let my "natural personality" fade away.

Dropping acid last week was a bad idea. I was totally out of my element, and I now remember why I usually act so cautious, because that's what happens when I don't.

On a related note, I need to stop actively seeking a relationship and forcing myself into situations just because I think they might help me get a gf. I need to work on my own shit and look for opportunities as they come. I'm not going to get anywhere significant by pretending to be someone I'm not. I need to just do the best I can in the only way I know how: by being me.

If I could make significant progress on this story, I would at least be happy with myself and not feel like I'm wasting so much time. But writer's block is a bitch.

I'm seeing my ex tomorrow. I think it's something I want to do, but I'm also nervous as hell.

>>17625526
this reply is super late, but I hope you see it.

you may think you and your wife are helping your sons and you may be in certain aspects like giving them love, attention, financial comfort, and some stability. however, you and your wife are teaching them how to handle wife/husband and relationships dealing with love issues. children grow up observing and learning from the people theyre around the most. if they see the both of you being passive aggressive towards each other then that's how theyll handle their future relationships.
both you and your wife are harming them. you both need to go to counseling to figure out how to teach your children not to become like you. or get a divorce and be happy. studies have shown that children would rather their parents be divorced and happy instead of together and fighting.

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For the past few years, I've been trying out all kinds of things to make me feel happy, or give me some feeling of solidity and contentment in the world. And I can't do it. I've lost lots of weight, started reading books again, tried meditating (briefly), stopped using 4chan, etc., and nothing has worked.

It gets better as you age, right? I realize this is a petty thing to worry about in the face of adult problems, but I've been going at this for years trying to find something stable, and it hasn't produced any results. Do you ever climb your way out of a pit like this through thinking? Or does the urge to solve it somehow taper off? I really can't wait for it to end.

Alex,

Youre really pissing me off man. We 600 miles away, and even though we're bros i really just want to stop with you man. You send me dumbass snaps of you fucking around with these other niggas idc about. I dont a shit that some 2008 hair style nigga does a kickflip, i dont give a shit when your fwb comes over and chills on your couch. Shit man thats all you send me. You dont even reply when i try to talk. Just send me those random bullshit snaps. Its fucking annoying nigga, you gotta chill.

A

Whenever I see threads/posts about people who have been ghosted by friends, it makes me sad because I know it's a shitty feel. It's one of the reasons I try to help them, because of knowing how that feels. When you think about it, you learn how to deal with things in life, and it's a good thing to help others who have the same experience

Im currently a freshman at a top teir Uni about 500 miles away from my home town. I had alot of friends in my home town. Varsity football player, club hockey, club volleyball, i loved life and people loved me. I hit on every girl i could, got alot of numbers and got some fucks too. It was awesome. But now that im here, i seriously have no drive to even talk to anyone else. Its been about a month and i have no friends, and i havnt even talked to a girl. I dont even care about it though. Im kinda happy. I sit by myself at lunch, in class. I lift early in the morning so i go to bed early. I have no friends and im okay with it. But i have a problem, this girl in my chem class has my heart. I caught her eye and i think she has something for me, but im too pussy to talk to her. Im planning on sjtting next to her wednesday, wish me luck!

>>17634250
Good luck, anon!

>>17629768
Im guilty of this. I just couldnt put up with her anymore. She was draining my happyness. Its very hard to describe how much she drained me of happyness. Im getting drained just thinking about it. It was actually tiring hanging around her. And when she was being passive agressive that night, it was like a switch went off in my head. I realized im not happy knowing her, and that i was so done that i didnt even tell her. I blocked her number, snapchat, twitter and facebook. Removed every photo of us and just forgot about her. Sucks but i dont regret it. I have no hard feelings against her, I just never want to see her again.

>>17624839
Join the coast guard.

Use your shit wifi to go to gocoastguard.com

Mad sign on bonuses, guaranteed nice pay, food, benefits, and a place to rest your tired head.

How old are you my friend?

Anything 32 and under and you are set if you dont have a completely fucked record.

>>17624953
Heh

>>17626259
what a fucking whore. Im sorry that happened bro.

Just cut her off, be alpha about it and dont go back to her, even if she cuts chad off dry.

YOu deserve better and WILL find better m8.

Take care<3

>>17626974
you arent a loser, you just need some help bruv.

Might I suggest joing a branch of the armed forces. Shit is super cash money and the pay is much better. Then you will be a part of something larger than you ever have.

I myself was in your shoes. Worked a gas station, then worked as a graveyard shift rent a cop. Sleep, wake up, do again. Managed to save 2 grand over the course of a year and basically said fuck this and joined up.

Best decision ever. Hot chicks, finally own something, not bad for a piece of shit like myself.

>>17627436
she is waiting for someone else to ask her and if the real alpha pack leader doesnt then she has you as a safety net.

Dont be that safety net. Find that qt3.14 that will say yep! without hesitation.

I'm depressed and I can't talk about it with anyone.

It's gotten to that point where it's not even about the situational things that were making me sad in the first place. I'm just stuck in the mud now and I don't know how to get out.

My ex doesn't help things. She makes me feel like shit all the time. Hits me. Snaps at me. Says hurtful things. Then she puts on her ring again and talks about having a family together, acts sweet. But she barely spends time with me or has sex with me like the other two people right now. She's the closest thing I have to a friend.

I drink a lot. And I wake up and have to clean the vomit. I smoked almost a pack of cigarettes a day until recently. My appartment is a mess. I constantly have thoughts about how pathetic I am, and I feel sick and tired all the time. I don't have motivation to do anything. I don't know why I'm in college. I just come home and lie in bed sometimes. I wish I didn't have to work or go to school, and I could just never leave my room. I feel lonely but I don't want to talk to anyone. My mom and my ex asked me the other day about a mark I had where I had burned myself on purpose and I lied about it. I don't care about anything. I just want to feel normal again instead of struggling to get through the day without breaking down, throwing something, yelling, or crying.

>>17634301
Can't speak much for a solution, but I wish you all the best.

My ex now, the girl I left 3 weeks ago, that I have been together with for 2 years, I broke it off with her and I feel devastated.
At first I did it for a good reason. She was got into different hobbies and met some guys from it and became friends.
I never trusted her though. I always feared that she was getting too close or letting them get too close for me to be comfterable.
I tried to find stuff we could do together but there wasnt anything we had in common other than our personalities.
So fights happened over this and I suspect it made things a lot worse over time.
during the last few months, I wanted to go with her on vacation, which was all payed for her, no problem. But she refused. She didnt want to go because she wasnt comfortable with her body image since it was a place we would go with hot weather and a nice beach.
A few weeks later, she went on a trip with one of the guys and her childhood girl friend.
After all of this pent up frustration, I went to see her for the weekend and then I noticed her on her phone, and I kept on seeing her texting him. Thats when I had enough. I told her about it and she said shes depressed and needs her time to do stuff she enjoys. bullshit since nothing she do will help her fake depression. After that she knew I was thinking about leaving her and she started crying while I comforted her.

I went home to think about if I really should break it off and I did.
Now, 3 weeks later I feel terrible, worse than ever about the choice that I made. I hoped that she would apologize or that we could chat and be alright but it never happened.
Now she doesnt want to be with anyone after numerous attempts to talk about it, that shes "damaged beyond repair" and saying stuff and saying something else after.
I'm in talking term with her now. Hopefully I can get her back and fix this problem together.
I should of just talked with her some more about this and made a deal-breaker sort of statement instead of just breaking it off.

I don't understand why I'm all of a sudden the antichrist and why everything I do gets a reaction of some sort. This all started with a woman, I think. I don't know. I've been trying to think about it but ain't got no information. Tried asking about it, everyone ignores me yet teases me about it. I'm not mad or sad just kind of, numb isn't the word but something like it. I know a few things but they don't really help. I guess I just don't deserve to know why. Am I really that bad? I just don't get it. I've heard that, I guess. Idk I'll just leave everybody alone. But that doesn't seem to work either. I've been fishing for months and this shit is taxing. Eating me up. Why? Just why? I'm too introverted for this.
-_-

I want to eat my girls ass, but like i dont know how to ask her, and i also dont want to deal with potential poop. But it could be hot af

I just gotta hold on. Gotta endure.

>>17634679
I'm interested in hearing your story anon. I will try to assist you if I can.

I just turned thirty and last year I lost my best friend to fucking nothing he just stopped talking to me my wife found out she trans and is divorcing me so even though we are cool ninety percent of the time she's making me move out of my house until she can get her own place good thing mom owns the house so I gotta move back in with mom right when I am freshly single..
>hey babe the couch in mom's basement reclines...oh yeah
And then I got laid off from an awesome job I knew it could happen but shit I busted my ass there and had all the supervisors raving about how good I'm doing and they're gonna put a word in and

BAM

every minute of every day I want to just drink and drink and drink and drink and die but if I do that my daughter will grow up with daddy issues and men will abuse her so I gotta be there I didn't have a stellar life before but in the last year it has gone to total shit but I got a kid so I cant drink to much and I can't go back to the crank....

Goddammit you crank.

I know I rely too much on substances to keep myself from breaking down weed at night and energy drinks in the day and maybe a couple beers if the kid goes to bed early but if I stop smoking weed I start thinking about the bigger picture and the how children starve and our government is the corporations that hide behind the hill with their cash and all they care about is profit so I'd it's cheaper to make lipstick with poisonous ingredients they do and now my daughters eating lipstick and I know that salt is bad an Im getting older so I better stop but it's so good my addictive personality won't let me kick salt or cigars or camel anus or the occasional bump of coke my weed guy gives me so I'm just a slave to my addictions and desires and I have a kid so that bits done I think I keep the
shit storm of crazy pushed down long enough to see her off to college then it's off the deep end

Unless I get a book deal.

I'll sing you a song
a lullaby
Its about this one time
this one time I saw you
eye to eye

I'll sing you a song
a lullaby
Its about this one time
This one time you left
you said goodbye

You were the sky
I was the ocean
the land kept us apart
I sold my soul to devotion
you wanted the sea
but I was just the salt
you wanted to speak
but I kept your mouth dry.
I always wanted to retry
but I never wanted to go back
The sun sets in the west
so I kept going
The sun sets in the west
but I kept going east
The other direction where tomorrow
The other direction where tomorrow wouldn't come so soon
You couldn't wait
for tomorrow to come
as soon as it possibly could.
you were the sky
I was the ocean
the space between us was
an eternity to cross
and you couldn't wait for tomorrow
tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.

>>17624528
I been clean from taking adderall for like two years. But with all the shit going on in my life I want to take it again. Though the stuff makes me act out of strange, and strange things happen. [Maybe save it for another time on /x/.] I just want the feeling to have something to belong to me again.

>>17634836
There's more thats just the really depressing shit. Also I can't figure out the proper system of being social.

I've never made any friends all my friends made me people at school or at work that I can tolerate to hang out with on occasion
And then theres my game there's none I can't tell a girl is flirting until she asks to have sex with me cause I'm good looking I guess all the good wound up on the outside I feel no empathy for other people bit in my brain I know that the basis for society is feeling for someone else but I just can so I pretend and come of phony I suppose. It's pretty sad but I don't feel the sad I just weep alone occasionally cause no one can be trusted with that not because it's manly but because I am alone and that's okay I've learned everyone will leave at least that's what happened to me

But fuck everyone else except my daughter I will kill some one for her no really I would murder strangers like the iceman if I could find that job you can't apply online

I'm starting to get used to never seeing my friends and living with a person who hates me for my inability to change into what she wait I mean he thought I could be when I dumped her in high school.

I know I'm an asshole and a dick and I try not to be and help out other people aND act friendly at my job.

But still I am alone. As I've always been. Aways will be. It was always so hard and awkward to let somebody close enough to hurt me and so each and every one of them has hurt me or abandoned me
Fuck that
No more

That was kind of therapeutic don't worry about commenting unless you want to I suppose

man, shit is going down in the hood tonight. just heard like, 15 shots? sounded like a 9mm and a .45 and someone speeding away after each burst. bunch of stupid pointless bullshit. hope no one's dead. weird living in a decent, hard working neighborhood like 3 blocks over from the ghetto.

>>17634917
and now I called the cops over there... with things the way they are I hope the cops don't get shot. maaaaaaan, this city is ready to blow, all it would take is the cops taking out a car full of gang members and we'll have riots.

I don't want to shoot people, but I see the way people look at me on a daily basis and I will bury some people if they start shit while I'm about my business.

shit is set to get real unfortunate in this city if shit doesn't calm down.

>>17627236
THATS it baby you got it down

baby come and kiss me
baby it's cold outside
baby?
wait, when is it
nevermind you've been gone for fucking forever
just end me already

Since I'm not literally seeking advice, I might as well just SAY IT! here.

There's a girl. She's just a handful of weeks away from turning 18, while I'm a handful of years older than she is. Nothing untoward has happened between us but she is very clearly infatuated with me, and if I may say so, she's quite the sweetheart herself. The obvious course of action (wait til she turns 18 and then rock her world) is probably what will come to pass. But I'm at the point in my life when I'm ready to start finding somebody to spend the rest of my life with, and she's about to hit her life's primetime for sleeping around. I'm really going back and forth in my mind about whether involving myself in her life is even a good idea. On one hand, why waste the sexual tension, and the fun that'll come from releasing it? On the other, are the walks of life we come from so different that it'll just cause trouble? I don't know but I intend to find out. Reply if you like but I'm not counting on it.

My boyfriend isn't as attractive as he was when we met a few years ago. I still care about him, but I just don't have that same burn for him anymore in a physical sense. Is this a normal sorta thing to happen?

I just want to speak to you in person. Fuck the hugs or holding or whatever I wanted, I know its way passed that point. Maybe next time I call I'll either ask you out for coffee or get some closure from you. I'm sick of being so heartbroken, its been two freaking years. Remember when you said you would call 4 months ago? Yeah 2 whole months I jumped at every phone ring in my house. I'm tired of trying to be your friend when now its becoming increasingly hard to talk to you. You make it SO hard for me to converse with you. I literally have to guess and try to talk out of my ass until I get lucky and say something that makes you respond with more than a few words. Anyways, I'm just waiting for an opportunity to speak to you in person. One day, though, hopefully soon. You are in the community, and unfortunately, a part of my family. My grandmother is dying, maybe you'll be at her wake or funeral. If my uncle gets uppity or tries to be an asshole again because I'm trying to talk to you I'm seriously going to bitch slap him. I'm a very humble guy, how dare he interfere with you and I conversing. It's not like I have a chance with you anymore. I honestly still can't believe you two are together. The cheeky side of me wants me to ask you how did your mom taste on my uncles(your boyfriends) cock? I'd never say that to you though, I like you too much to make you mad at me. I love you, S. You're my first love, my first everything. I've had other girl since then, but you're the only one I have feelings for, and now you're next door. I love you so so much.

I just want to vent, I don't expect any advice on this. I just want people to read it.

I'm a straight male, 23 y/o. Not a kissless virgin, but I only had one girl in the past.
Lately, I've become friends with a lesbian. We work together and live nearby. We share music tastes, sense of humour, even taste in girls to some extent. We have differing world views (I'm an atheist, she's a Christian) so we tend to discuss our differences but it's always a stimulating debate. She's full of love and really compassionate, and all that combined made me fall for her.

I'm in love with a lesbian. She told me a couple of times about how she feels about men, that few years ago she wanted to try being with one but couldn't get through with it. She's disgusted by men on the romantic/sexual level. On the other hand, she let me hug and touch her on many occasions. She made remarks during our conversations about what would be if we were together (usually when talking about her current girlfriend). It all makes me so confused, I can barely stand it. I don't want to spill the beans and tell her how I feel, because I'm afraid I'll lose a great friend. But I have to get it off my chest someday. When I move away (which will happen, because I'm a working immigrant, I'll be switching jobs/cities/countries sometime in the future) I will tell her all about how I feel towards her. I just hope I can find a similar girl to her that's straight.

I've decided to kill myself in December. I wish I had signed up for the jlpt but oh well.

This is how it is. This is just how it is. It will never change. I will always be let down and dissapointed.

I wish i never revealed you i used to hurt myself. I told you because i thought it could help me figuring out the reasons. You are the only one to know. Now that my feelings for you have deepened, i feel so embarassed. Please forget it and see me as the strong person i am trying to be now.

Why do people say women have it easier? If a femanon were to post something like "tfw no bf" probably tons of guys would whiteknighht her, but for the wrong reasons. While if a guy were to post tfw no gf, likely it would be less, but it would be quality over quantity. Females have it easier to find fuckboys that will leave them. Males have tons of choices right in front of them for a loyal relationship.

I don't know why I'm so worried, everything is going well from what I can tell. I don't know why I'm always thinking of the worst-case scenario, and I don't want to say anything because I'll come out of it looking needy as fuck. Can someone just tell me that everything is going to be okay?

Fuck you filthy fucking whore.

>>17636268
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bX14whtcXAw
Feels like we're going through a similar situation.Tell them anyway. Its always better to be open and honest with the ones you love. Otherwise they won't know the big picture of what you're going through and be able to fully understand you.

I'm kinda, mildly, spying on her.
Every day.

I feel a bit bad about this, but at least I haven't masturbated for her for.... months! Months and months.

So I am a good person, not a bad person. And I don't need to feel guilty.

>>17636478
>this video does not exist
Thanks, YouTube. The thing is, everything is completely fine, even good. I'm just a little worried because I started dating a fairly close friend and it feels like we talk a little less now, but when I think about it, nothing has changed. I'm just weirdly nervous and I don't want to be alone. I'm good at talking to people, but being as neurotic as this isn't like me and I don't want to ruin anyone's good image of me, especially when I can see that there isn't anything really wrong. Typing this out makes me feel so much better. Thanks, anon.

>>17636503
That's some scary shit, man.

>>17636558
You scare too easy.

>>17636634
Sorry, I should have said creepy, not scary. Poor word choice.

>>17636640
Much better, thank you.

>>17635892
don't be embarrassed. reaching the causes takes time

Why am I always second guessing myself, it drives me fucking insane. I know there are time where I am in the complete right of a situation but I will always feel as though I am to blame if something goes awry. I want to be stronger, emotionally, but I can't even look at the girl I am enfatuated with and ask her to a goddamned dinner. I just want to be stronger and I have this lingering feeling in the back of my head that no matter how hard I try I will never get there.

>>17637102
I am such a fucking loser. I am sitting where she works and can't come up with anything to say. This is the same fucking girl that I had gone out with countless times. I do something wrong and now I don't have to balls to talk to her, instead I'm here venting internally to all you fuckers.

>>17637116
Whenever she does look at me it's with this look of absolute disgust. It's like she's saying "why aren't you trying to talk to me." And I can't even think of an answer.

>>17637130
I want to leave but I still want to look at her. I want to leave but my body is currently physically incapable of moving. It's terrifying. It makes me hate myself on a level that so high it is essentially self destructive.

>>17637102
you haven't got anything to lose, don't be so down on yourself. Ask her. Try. You don't need to be strong for that, having romantic feelings are about emotional vulnerability, this risk traded for contentment

please don't leave me, since I've fallen so deeply in love with you. I hope that's what you wanted, it certainly seems that way love

>>17637223
Iktf

Don't go, and I'll stay, tell me love, tell me love. Is this a place for keeps, to stop us keeping away?tell me love, tell me love. How did we come to find so much beauty together in each day? Sweet love