If I date a guy for monetary reasons for a while - while being

Women havề been trading sex for comfort/lifestyle almost since time began. You didn't invent it, so don't feel bad about it. As long as you're honest, the arrangement is ok.

Sugar baby, right? Nothing wrong with that. Plenty of young girls do it.

>>17614753
Yeah, nothing wrong with prostitutes

>>17614725
while nothing is wrong with your arrangement since it is an honest arrangement it is sex for money. I can see why someone expecting a woman with a different mindset and lifestyle not taking you serious as a life partner. I also believe there are women out there that wouldn't take a man serious if he paid women to be his "companion". To each their own

Too late for you I imagine.

>>17614762
Nothing wrong with prostitutes. Sugar babies are quite far from normal prostitutes as they only have a few, or just one, client. It's not only about sex, a sugar baby is like a part-time girlfriend.

>>17614799

>having sex for money is different from having sex for money

Is a lawyer that has multiple clients something entirely different than a lawyer that only works for one client at a time?

File: 1431884143873.png (17KB, 493x402px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 493x402px

>>17614725
I personally don't want a sugar daddy/mommy.

I want a rich business woman not for her money, but for her skills in money making. I want to learn to be just as successful as she is.

Where do I find this kind of relationship?

Yes. Some guys will not care that you were once a sugar baby, but a lot of guys will. So by definition, yes being a sugar baby will hurt your prospects when you try to find love

>>17614826
My wife makes a lot more money than me, but I just kinda lucked in to it, I met her when she was 16

>>17614816
All women are prostitutes. Just the form of payment differs. Some take cash, others dinners and drinks and so on.

no
it makes you an unsuitable lifepartner because eventhough now i have it good, youll be out the moment something goes wrong

>>17614853
>youll be out the moment something goes wrong
exactly the problem

>>17614725
Yeah most girls do it but it's degenerate and ur fuckin gay

>>17614725

If you're asking whether many men will judge you negatively for trading your body for money (even financial security), then yes. If you don't want me to lie to you, yes. And many more would be very skeptical of any claim that you "didn't have any other choice."

Besides that, unless you're looking to make a career of hooking, it's a band-aid solution, not a cure. Find another way.

And if you're already doing this and are retroactively seeking to justify it, all I can say is that your past is your own and I recommend you keep it that way.

Lastly, just because it's bugging me, what celebrity dresses like that and then gets mad when people take pictures? I'm sure the Slutwalk movement would support it, but Jesus what a fucking moron. Miley Cyrus is a goddamn case study in trading self-worth for attention.

>>17614725
There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship for security.

It's completely natural to pick the better provider over someone who makes you feel all warm and fuzzy.

Warm and fuzzy won't put food on the table.

Funny how posters are claiming they speak for all or "many" men. How do you know? You don't. Just because you would be bothered with something doesn't mean all guys will be. Especially when it's coming from your own insecurity.

>>17614890
It's a fact that a lot of guys like wholesome women and not literal whores. Thought you knew that, guy

>>17614882
But its the 21century. A women should bring her own food to the table

>>17614895
Then men are redundant.

>>17614882
but you will amirite
then come here crying she left you when you lost your job
shitstain

>>17614890

From a thing called "social interaction." Give it a shot some time.

>>17614898
nice b8.
But arent women getting redundant in the same way with porn and virtual reality advancing everyday?

>>17614900
Men always cry on here when a women won't even date them.
It doesn't mater if the girl left them because they lost their job or because the girl won't date them because the guy hasn't got a job.

The girl will always be drawn to the better provider.

>>17614911
Nope.
Pron is a reminder of how redundant the watcher has became.

>the don't even need to see the sad men spending money on them.

>>17614913
Basically that's how it was before the modern era.

Women want a provider, someone who can give them and their kids everything they want and need. it makes them feel more secure.

>>17614725
Dating someone primarily or entirely for money is concept that really irritates me, if you do so it makes a romantic relationship a job, which ruins the whole point of it in the first place.

>>17614765
>>17614878
This is true, there are plenty of other jobs you can get and the kind of mindset of a person that does stuff like that could easily be perceived to as someone who might cheat or use a relationship for monetary gain again.

Personally I think dating someone for money is kinda immoral but that's subjective so I won't argue that.

%triforce

>>17614890
You can make a bit of a rational argument out of it, if you want. It's not perfect, but it helps get the point across without doing some sort of survey.

Assume that, in the future, there are other women around that are a lot like OP. They are all similarly attractive and have similar jobs and lifestyles. The most significant difference between them and OP is that OP had a relationship for money in the past. What is the benefit of choosing OP over one of the others? There isn't one that I can think of.
From here, all you need to do is find how that pst relationship could be detrimental, which isn't hard. The fact that she's had a relationship for money in the past will create doubt about her intentions now. And so, it follows that this will make her less of a prospective partner. There is no reason not to go after one of the other girls.
The degree to which it affects how the men see her will vary, but there shouldn't be any who look at it as a good or neutral thing, with the exception of a repulsive man who assumes that all women will only want him for money anyways.

>>17614853
Not really
I already made the money with someone else
If I start a relationship it'll be for something else entirely

>>17614895
I am
By providing a service to a lonely middle aged man with money to spend

>Women want a provider
>this goes back to the animal kingdom
>when we lived in groups
>and we all shared all the work
>and we didn't have a concept of marriage or monogamy
>and we probably just fucked whoever
>but who cares
>I can use this
>to justify my
>backwards thinking
>XD

YEAH MAN, girls only care about MONEY

If you're both on the same page it really isn't a big deal.

Some people might judge for you it, but at the end of the day it doesn't really hurt anyone so no harm done.

>>17615187
It'll hurt her when she tries to find a husband, though. She'll have to date a bit further down because of it. The attractive guys can just go for the girls who never sold themselves.

>>17615194
But the girls who never sold themselves still had previous partners

>>17615197
This isn't about partner count. I'm not even going to ask how you came to that conclusion.

>>17615199
What is it about then? They still gave their body to someone else, they just didn't get paid for it

>>17615194
>It'll hurt her when she tries to find a husband

Not if she doesn't disclose this information? Really. it isn't anyone's business. Also, you're really generalizing. Plenty of people this day and age don't really give a shit about sexual history.

>>17615203
So how is she going to convince future partners that their relationship isn't for money, when her past one was?

>>17615210
lol by supporting herself and not expecting anything? It's not rocket science.

>>17615209
If you have to lie about something you've done to your partner, it should be a sign that you're fucking up.
All men care about history, some just pretend not to because they can't afford to decrease the size of their dating pool.

>>17615210
By not making him spend?

>>17615220
It's not lying. It really is none of their business.
And frankly, "All men care about history" is a straight up myth. It sounds like you're just insecure and projecting.

I only care about sexual health. She doesn't have to tell me what she's done, but it'd be nice to know if she's taking care of herself and I'm not in danger of contracting anything. Even then, it isn't a deal breaker, I just want to know so we can take the proper precautions.

>>17615239
>some just pretend not to
And of course it's not his business if she refuses to tell him. But it's also not her decision if he chooses to leave her for keeping secrets.

>>17614725
Yes it means you're literally a prostitute. If a guy is okay with marrying prostitutes then yeah.

>>17614725
You're a prostitute.
If a guy is fine with dating an ex prostitute, then he'll be fine with dating you.
I personally wouldn't, but people are different and shit.

>>17615243
>some just pretend not to

I'm sure they do, but you're implying all men are like this in some way or another, when this is clearly untrue.

Honestly it seems like an incredibly petty thing to leave someone over, especially considering there's really no reason he would find out unless he was prying into her undisclosed personal life.

If I were in a relationship with a woman and she disclosed this history with me, I really wouldn't care, especially if it was obvious she wasn't begging me for cash all the time. People make agreements all the time, and it's her body, she can do what she wants with it. It's not like she was cheating on me, or this was going on while we were seeing each other.

>>17614890
Butthurt woman detected.

>>17615258
>motivations for entering relationships
>petty reason to end relationships
Holy fuck.

>>17615261
So you think all men are hivemind?

>>17614725
Some guys will love an ex prostitute, some won't.

>>17615268
Yes, petty.

It would be different if she were taking advantage of this guy, or tricking him in some way. I really don't get what's wrong with two adults having a mutually beneficial relationship that doesn't hurt anyone.

>>17614725
Let me ask you this OP

Would you marry a guy who has bought lots of prostitutes in his lifetime?

>>17614725

it makes you a legitimate and admitted prostitute. which i dont think is the worst thing in the world, but thats still something YOU have to deal with.

if you tell someone 'i dated a guy but it was purely for the money' yeah that makes you less of a prospective partner.

because they question why you are with them. those who date only for feelings dont need to be questioned.

>>17615279
Not the person you're replying to.

The idea that the person I love and share my life with has a price is disgusting. The idea that anyone can buy a blowjob from them is disgusting. The idea that someone can get what I get from them not because they think they're worthy, but because they can pay for that "service" is disgusting.
There is nothing morally wrong with it, but I wouldn't want to be with someone like that

>>17615282
This is an excellent question.
>>17614725
OP, answer this.

Maybe, but you don't have to tell them.

>>17615282
Yes

To me it would be the same thing as marrying a guy who used to have a lot of random hook ups

>>17615283
But if I'm not making them spend and am with them anyway doesn't that make it extra clear I'm with them cause I like them?

>>17615261
Butthurt virgin detected.

>>17615285
>The idea that anyone can buy a blowjob from them
Don't date a $20 crackwhore, simple as that. You're living in a /r9k/ black and white world where if a girl is not a pure kissless virgin, she is a roastie slutwhore.

>>17615285
Not anyone, geez
I said ONE GUY not selling it at the street corner
Basically a boyfriend but a boyfriend I had because he was rich

>>17614725
>If I date a guy for monetary reasons for a while - while being perfectly clear it is for monetary reasons btw - does that make me worth less as a prospective partner when I try to find a guy to actually love?
yes.

every sexual partner you have makes you harder to love but you can't whore yourself out and then expect love from anything other than another trashy piece of shit.

Lemme ask you something OP:

Why is it that women are terrible with money and rely on men to earn it for them?

I don't necessarily see a problem with this as long as there's mutual understanding, but it seems like women are always the ones relying on the financial help of men.

So, what did you do to fuck up your finances to the point that you would actually consider doing something like this?

>>17615381
You've read too many sob stories about the terrible world of prostitution.

In the western world, girls who have relationships or sex for monetary reasons don't do it because they are starving and desperate. They do it because they've found a way to easily get a shiny new iPhone and whatever other luxuries they want, doing something they can enjoy.

>>17615358

theres a difference between 'i date for emotions' and 'im a pure kissless virgin'.

in the context of the thread all were asking is that a girl NOT date a guy solely for money, with both parties openly acknowledging it.

>>17615358
Can we agree that having sex with someone for money is being a whore? Like, that's pretty much the definition of it.
I haven't said anything about being a virgin.
The fact that a person I care for and value thinks it's fine to have sex with others for money is definitely something I can't live with.

>>17615364
Still, makes you a prostitute. You had sex with a dude because he gave you money for it.

>>17615411
Yes
But what exactly makes it worse than dating for emotion?
Isn't giving a blowjob to a guy just because he makes you tingly just as pathetic and giving it to a guy who gives you stuff?

>>17615381
My finances aren't fucked
Quite the contrary

EZ money I can save or invest

>>17614725
Business is business. Relationship is relationship. It's not like you want to hurt someone. The attempting wizards and beta cucks in here have trust issues. Don't listen to their whining. Many of them forget that there are two people in a relationship and that they both have the duty to work for their luck.

>>17615431
It isn't "worse". I am just not interested in dating someone who is okay with giving away their body in exchange of money.

I value intimacy, I think that sex is something to exchange between two people who are close to each other, that sex is basically a way for showing your love to your significant other, to pleasure them, to bond with them.
You see it as a business transaction.
Which is all fine, if it works for you, but the idea that you don't have similar moral standards to mine when it comes to dating makes me think you're not suitable for a relationship with me.
I am also not okay with the idea of committing myself to a person who is fine with basically selling herself. If someone with a big wallet comes around and you leave.

Nothing absolute, nothing inherently wrong with it, just not something I am okay with.

>>17615476
Don't worry. You're not going to have that dilemma, as no woman is ever going to show interest in you.

>>17615486
Hopefully.
I'm a girl, straight and married - would be sad to reject her.

>>17615486
Stop


>>17615476
I don't know why it can't be both things
Just because it was a business transaction in the past doesn't mean it can't be something special when it is with someone I love

Is a chef cooking for a loved one less special because he cooks for a living

>>17615498
>Just because it was a business transaction in the past doesn't mean it can't be something special when it is with someone I love
A lot of people would refuse to believe that that paradigm shift is even possible, myself included.
>>17615476
Well said.

Yeah i wouldnt date a prostitute

>>17615513
Why? What's so hard to believe?

>>17615498
>Is a chef cooking for a loved one less special because he cooks for a living
Of course not!
But cooking is something which is not usually reserved for your partner.
You see a relationship and sex as another skill you have that you can sell (such as cooking). I see them as something that is reserved for people you love and consider worthy of it.

>>17615518
So in the end it really is being a pure virgin waifu type of thing

If you did it for someone else then it can't possibly be special when you do it again

>>17614725
Unless you think at the end of the day you can actually snag a chad, go for it

otherwise normal people are just gonna blow you off when they find out

People that are suitable for love are somewhere in between ChadMc-fuckalot and never-getting-laid-9000, but most normal people fall on the robot side about being paid for sex and will see you as someone who will abandon them when they need them

inb4 everyone jumps on me, I just repeat the memes I don't make them

You forget that the outcome changes. Eating something by your partner tastes different. Sex is not for your own pleasure. The biggest part of sex happens in your own head. It's not just penatrating a special point. Everyone could do that, even a robot. The conversation between partners is totaly different, the feelings...

>>17615517
I've never seen a whore make a loving partner. But I have seen a 50% divorce rate. I have a feeling that if anyone's going to fall into the divorced half, it's former prostitutes trying to convince men that they've changed. If relationships all worked out well, there would be no such thing as a red flag. But most relationships go to shit. Why the hell would I expect the whore to be the one capable of showing love and commitment when regular girls often can't do it, either?

>>17615537
>Why the hell would I expect the whore to be the one capable of showing love and commitment when regular girls often can't do it, either?


Because I'm capable of being honest with myself and with my partner when I'm only using them for personal gain.

>>17615546
>Because I'm capable of being honest with myself and with my partner
And why should anyone believe you? That you aren't still just chasing the dollar? It's easy to keep up a facade, so just not using someone for money for a few years doesn't prove a lot.

You are obviously dead set on becoming a prostitute. I'm not trying to stop you, but don't complain when you realize that almost no man will take you seriously unless you keep it a secret.

>>17614725
fuck that shit you are a gold digging whore cunt and if you treat men this way why should I trust you?

>>17615546
>Because I'm capable of being honest with myself and with my partner when I'm only using them for personal gain.

You see here is the thing, your future partners will never meet this guy so they have no idea if you are duping him or not, and its only your word that you are using him

"Hell whats the going rate on your pussy even? Who's to say a high enough price can't trump your love? " This is the kind of shit your lovers will be thinking when they hear this.

Don't tell anyone ever, you dug yourself a nice hole already

>>17615558
What you write sounds like a background check. What are you a computer? Honestly, would you consider a relationship because of mistakes someone made? You can't project this onto all women, just because a certain percentage of them can't do something. Following your logic one would stay lonely for the rest of his live.

>>17615561
kek, you're not different from those guys that shit their pants if their gf watches interracial porn

>>17615558
>And why should anyone believe you? That you aren't still just chasing the dollar


Because I'm not making him pay for anything? He's giving me nothing but himself and that's all I want

>>17615566
Following my logic, I wouldn't date a prostitute. Lots of women aren't prostitutes, by the way. I just look out for red flags and don't start relationships with people who exhibit them.
Examples of red flags:
>Having sex in exchange for money.

>>17615571
>Because I'm not making him pay for anything? He's giving me nothing but himself and that's all I want

You say this, but do you plan on buying dinner every night?

>>17615561
It's not like I'm lying
I'm not using the guy as a wallet while pretending to be in love
You can trust me because I'm doing exactly what I say I'm doing

>>17615529
No - but sex isn't a marketable skill, neither is companionship, in my opinion.
If you consider it a marketable skill, you're not suitable for me.
As easy as it is.
I would rather be with someone who had sex countless time with someone they cared about than with someone who got paid to have sex once.

>>17614725
You're such a cunt, you want genuine love but your willing to use some dude with money to pretend in the meantime. Fuck you.

>>17615576
>Im gonna stab you in the back!

Just because you said it and followed though doesn't mean its a trustworthy statement, my dear.

>>17615574
Yes. That's exactly the reason I wanted money in the first place.

>>17615571
I literally addressed the point you just made in the same line you quoted. There's no reason to think you aren't constantly on the prowl for a bigger pay cheque.
Sound nasty? That's because it is. Lots of people are horrible and there need to be methods of picking them out without wasting large amounts of time. Examples of time-saving sexual selection methods:
>Not dating prostitutes

>>17615582
So how do you plan on making more money when you find a lover?

Vaginas are nice, but they don't make easy living money.

>>17615573
If your value of sex is a different, then I can understand that, but judging someone for past things is childish.

>>17615581
It means you can believe what I say though
And hey at least I warned you about the stabbing

>>17615592
>judging someone for past things is childish

This is how you date crazy people who steal your tv

>>17615590
They do, you have no idea
But anyway besides the money saved there's a normal job
It's more supplemental than main income

>>17615594
No, it means you will do anything to serve numero uno and use any justification necessary to clear your guilt

>>17615597
At least I don't isolate a certain group of people just because of a mistake. That's like endorsing death penalty.

>>17615592
>judging someone for past things is childish.
So you want to abolish prisons? Or just release any inmate who says they've changed?
And I don't understand what you mean by "value of sex". I refuse to date someone who sells sex. Is that a value or judging someone for their past? I figured it was both, but it sounds like you're trying to make a distinction.

>>17615603
Serve what?

first off, the question of would men and women feel differently about each other if the roles were reversed is never a valid question.

male/female role reversals are a non-starter, because men and women want different things, and have different sexual market value profiles

they're not interchangeable parts.

secondly:
men who want to get married value loyalty. not just loyalty to them, but loyalty to ideas, values, and institutions - like fidelity, chastity, and marriage.

having a relationship-for-hire in your past shows disloyalty towards ideas that many men have about relatinoships, and indicates disloyalty to the individuals you are in relationships with.

it's the difference between a mercenary and a soldier. both get paid - but the latter is only willing to get paid by a particular party, and has an ideological attachment to that party.

finally, the advice about concealing or lying about your sexual history is feminist bullshit. do this to a man, and when he finds out, you might wind up murdered. and if I were on the jury, i'd acquit.

again, all men value loyalty. most men also value chastity. if you lie about your sexual history, that's lying (which is always unacceptable), but it's also fraud, because you are lying about your value; you are lying about what you are.

(you can think its mean that men value you in this way, but they do. you are lying about your value in terms of how a potential man would value you. all value is subjective - e.g. value judgements only exist in the eye of the person making the judgement. lying about your sexual history to a man is defrauding him, because part of what he thinks he is getting is your time-tested commitment to certain values that are important to him)

>>17615602
>I dated one rich guy so I can date all the rich guys!

I would not count on it, rich people don't like sloopy sceonds so unless you have an in somewhere this will be the only high paying ride you get

>>17615605
It is not a mistake, in this case. It is a choice. You do isolate certain groups of people for their mistakes. Like those who steal your tv and end up in prison.

>>17614725
this b8 is of excellent quality, nicely done anon

>>17615610
"Numero uno" translates to "number one" from Italian/Spanish. Looking out for number one is a figure of speech for being self-serving.

>>17615612
That's not what I said at all anon

>>17615610
yourself

you certainly don't have a brain to go with those boobs, stick to getting stuck and abandon love

>>17615476
Love is intrinsically transactional. Just because you're not selling yourself for money doesn't mean you're not selling yourself. I don't actually disagree, but I feel the need to play devil's avocado

>>17615620
Oh right

>>17615624
Relationship maybe are, love isn't.
Love itself pis selfless.
I still hope that my relationships aren't a business transaction and what we give to each other is "higher" than sex and money.

>>17615621
most prostitutes live in squaller

vaginas do not pay the bills, if they did there would be a lot less homeless prostitutes

you are getting with one guy who thinks he can convince you to love him, and after he figgers that out you are back to normal pay

what are you going to do then to pay for dinner?

>>17615622
Not knowing a figure of speech doesn't make me stupid my friend

>>17615609
Valuing sex as something important, while you can't stand people, that haven't the same mindset as you is ok. But saying, someone that had sex as a business in their past would repeat that while having a relationship, is another thing.
No, I don't want to remove prisons, but most people that cucked someone got enough judgement and pain. You don't have to kill their whole social esteem.

>>17615633
its a team for 5th graders who just took 2 Spanish classes

you are dumb

>>17615631
Most prostitutes live in squalor because they're stupid with money and buy dumb shit with it or are drug addicts
I'm none of these

And the guy doesn't think he can convince me to love him at all
He's 100% clear he's buying my time and attention.

>>17615643
Pretty sure we're both on the anti-prostitution side of this thread, but people outside of the US are unlikely to immediately recognize "numero uno". No one really says it in my country at all.

>>17615643
Still doesn't mean I knew what serving number one meant
For all I know that could be a menu order

>>17615576
okay you are an honest gold digger but you are still a fucking gold digger whore cunt.

>>17615647
>He's 100% clear he's buying my time and attention.
>You still think he isn't trying to buy your love

How adorable

He could have 10 prostitutes for the price of you

you need to open your eyes

>>17615654
Honesty is important

>>17615635
But saying, someone that had sex as a business in their past would repeat that while having a relationship, is another thing.
I'm not saying they will, I'm saying I'm not going to spend the time and potentially bear the heartache to find out. There are plenty of less risky options, and any man of reasonable value will seek out those options instead.

>>17615655
Who said I'm the only girl he's paying?

>>17615661
good, then I'm a man of unreasonable value

>>17615661
The first line here is meant to be greentexted. It's almost unreadable without the greentext.

>>17615664
so you are dating a super rich guy who pays for more then your regular income, on multiple prostitutes

lady don't least any man catch whiff of this. it was bad before but being apart of a high tier ring and sleeping with really old men is another line entirely


so gross, ugh

>>17615611
>men who want to get married value loyalty. not just loyalty to them, but loyalty to ideas, values, and institutions - like fidelity, chastity, and marriage.
Funny how it's always the dateless virgins who believe they speak for all men.

>>17615665
When I say "reasonable value", I mean meeting or going beyond some standard. So "unreasonable value" would be substandard value in this case.

>>17615672
He's not THAT old

>>17615676
He has to be at least in his 50's, and if he is a money maker nigga prolly isn't fit

its gross

OP, just to clarify, you ARE talking about having a sugar daddy, right? Hopefully he's not too old and decently attractive. If so, go for it. You'll get to experience lots of things you never could otherwise, in addition to the extra income.

>>17615678
Rich people aren't fat anon

>>17615673
He made a good case. Better call him a virgin.

>>17615685
>he agrees with me
>that means it's fact!
>he made a good case!

>>17615675
Yeah, I understand you, it's just that if I want to have a relationship I don't blow the money up the ass of my partner. Why would someone, that's ok with recieving nothing from me but love leave me cuck me. If they had this mindset before engaging they wouldn't date me in the first place and if they change their mindset later then it's not my fault. I may sound naive, but I'm ok with that.

>>17615684
young rich people are not fat

after 40 you are stuck behind a deck if you want to make that money to have the sail around the world in a 45 footer retirement

>>17615692
If he didn't explain himself well, it would be easy to punch holes in what he wrote. You didn't do a very good job.
Men looking for relationships value the idea that sex is about an emotional connection. OP's behavior will collide with this belief head-on.

>>17615702
Relationships aren't just about sex
I won't love and marry someone just because the sex is good

>>17615702
>Men looking for relationships value the idea that sex is about an emotional connection.
Again, you're just making projections. You think that way, and by extension, you imagine every man thinks that way. Which is obviously not the case.

>>17615711
You also wouldn't marry someone if the sex wasn't good

>>17615715
So you want to fall in love with someone who doesn't invest a lot of emotion in sex?

I don't think you want love then.

>>17615716
I probably would desu
Emotional connections aren't made through sex for me

>>17615715
It's almost necessarily true, actually, because I wasn't trying to describe "every man".
And you weren't trying to read.

>>17615719
then your partner would leave you in a heartbeat, or you would just have a strained marriage until some said I hate you after several years of misery and most likely infidelity

you want that?

>>17615719
Who said that sex is what creates the emotional connection? Go ahead, quote the post.

>>17615732
I think people focusing so much of marriage on getting sexual satisfaction is a huge reason why divorce rates are so high
I won't get married to someone like that

>>17615736
I won't look for it cause quoting pieces of posts on mobile is a pain but someone said sex is about an emotional connection
To me it sounds like there can't be an emotional connection without it

>>17615740
>I think people focusing so much of marriage on getting sexual satisfaction is a huge reason why divorce rates are so high
Source.

>>17615673
>Funny how it's always the dateless virgins who believe they speak for all men.

(1/2)

Not only do I not claim to speak for all men - I clearly restricted this to men who want to get married - I am also not a kv or dv.

I try not to make statements in such a way that people will go "hurr durr you meant all people evar!", yet I try to offer things which should be broadly applicable, and are safe enough to bet on, absent other information.

>>17615746
I said "I think"
Source is my brain

>>17615747

(2/2)

Secondly, I'm not chad, but I was successful with women when I was of dating age. Once I had my first girlfriend (which was in HS), I was never single for very long afterwards.

I got married young, and have been married for over a decade, and am still very much in love with my wife, who is also the mother of our 4 children.

However, in order to try and stay married, my wife and I have done lots of reading about relationships, and talked to other young married people, and gone to church groups about staying married, etc.

Being a good relationship partner is actually really damn difficult, and most people never think about it, much less read about how to do it, or talk to others to learn about what has worked / not worked for other people.

I have.

Most kids are children of divorced parents - in addition to not properly studying or thinking about how to be in a relationship, they've also not had functional relationships modelled to them in their childhood. They've only ever seen failure.

Families are broken in America, and this is bad for all kinds of reasons - kids from broken homes are less happy, make less money, are more prone to crime, are more likely to be sexually abused, etc.

Why come on /adv/?

Because when I was growing up, nobody was giving life and relationship advice to anons. I'm happy, successful, and an oldfag. But I'm lucky. I'm a parent, and I want to know something about the world my kids are going to get thrust into, and I volunteer with middle and highschoolers, and I want to understand the issues they are facing but aren't talking about with uncool grownups.

And, I want to try and help young anons that aren't too stubborn to listen and think about what they read.

>>17615740
You won't stay married if you can't please your partner

period

what it sounds like you want is a friend you can trust who won't try to bang you

gl with that, Im one of those guys and Im buried behind 6 layers of autism

[spoiler]all I want is friends god damn it, I don't know how its possible to fail for so long. It not my fucking falt I grew up on king ather and everyone else grew up on stupid juice I don't know what the fuck they read but I just wanted someone to get my memes. #rant over[/spoiler]

also divorce rate are not as high as you think, they are lower now then in the 70.

>>17615751
Well, it's completely false. Nothing to do with reality.

>>17615743
Sharing an ice cream cone is about an emotional connection, too. (Either that, or you're as poor as OP)
Is ice cream necessary to create an emotional connection, too?
That being said, sex enhances the emotional connection. They are tied to each other and both affect each other. Bad sex, emotions change. Bad feelings, sex changes.
If you disagree on a basic point like this, then congrats on being a fucking weirdo deviant and wasting our time. We're talking about the vast majority of people here, not the one in a million case where someone doesn't release sex hormones.

>>17615758
People are getting divorced less because people are getting married less no?

>>17615760
I can't think of many non selfish reasons for divorce desu

>>17615762
This weirdo is OP actually

>>17615758
>You won't stay married if you can't please your partner

This is why nobody stays married after childbirth, when you are medically prohibited from having sex for 6 weeks (or more), right?

This is also why senior citizens get divorced - because they are too old to be having sex constantly, so they just end it, right?

The idea that you need to fuck a whole bunch of people or find out of you are "sexually compatible" is a meme. It's not real.

It's probably harmful, actually. High partner counts for women are strongly correlated with later marital infidelity, for instance.

>>17615786
Oh, good. So you see sex as being unnecessary for a functional relationship? Are you planning on forcing your future mate into celibacy once you're done making bank?

>>17615797
Of course not
If the man I love wants sex then I'll give him sex, because I love him, and want him happy
But to me at least the relationship isn't about getting sexual satisfaction at all

>>17614725
Personally it would be concerning for me. Not a deal breaker, mind you. But it depends on how long ago that was. Because when i hear that you dated someone for money, all i think is:

1) Someone who can't live within their means

2) Someone who is definitely not independent

3) Potential of unhealthy co dependence

4) Someone who is generally immature

All those qualities are negative for long term relationships. If it was recent, then i assume the person has some or one of those poor qualities.

It doesnt make you a slut, or a bad person, just immature.

>>17614725
>If I date a guy for monetary reasons for a while - while being perfectly clear it is for monetary reasons btw - does that make me worth less as a prospective partner when I try to find a guy to actually love?

Yep whores are at the bottom of the list, with Dutch wives being 2 levels above you.

Love? Are you kidding? All you love is money, don't lie to yourself you degenerate.

>>17615858
If all I loved was money I wouldn't even waste my time with nonpaying people

>>17615873
What are your thoughts on dating for money now that you have a thread full of men saying they wouldn't date you?
Honestly curious. Are you just assuming it's a bad sample?

>>17615887
I still think it's okay desu
My beliefs aren't shaped around getting as many people as possible to like me

>>17615901
What if Prince Charming is one of the ones who does care?

>>17615904
Then he's not my prince charming after all

>>17615906
What if there's no one you're attracted to who wants a relationship with you after this?

>>17615908
Then it'll just be me my money and my in vitro kids in the future

>>17615779
How about you spend 10 seconds in google? Since you clearly have never been married, you're not really qualified to talk about divorce.

The biggest reason for divorce is financial infidelity.

>>17615935
That added nothing to my life
thanks anyway

>>17615918
Ignore all these kids trying to pain bleak pictures on the wall. The truth is that what you're doing is far more common than people think. The only ones who would consider it a dealbreaker are the insecure betas posting on 4chan.

It would be the same as if you were a prostitute so you should be able to form your own answer using that thought...I am sure he may have a rough time with it but then again he may not who really knows but that guy....find one you like tell him see how he reacts and go from there....problem solved either way you have already done it so the question is irrelevant and completely depends on that guy you find that you think you want to actually love

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>>17615944
>mfw I don't have to date down and some guy on the internet calls me beta for it

>>17615956
You're lucky you got your virgin waifu but most guys aren't

>>17615967
Most guys don't deserve it.

>>17615752
You got married young, and that was over a decade ago. That means you're not really qualified at all to give advice on this subject. You don't know what singles today look for, or even how they date. You don't have experience about relationships other than your marriage. For sure you'll be good at giving advice on maintaining serious relationships and marriages, but you're completely out of your league if you try to claim you can give dating advice.

>>17615971
Including you.

>>17615984
FYI, these are two different people.
>>17615971
>>17615956

>>17615561
This. OP, you are literally a whore if you do this, and there aren't many guys who would date you if they find out.

>>17615944
>The only ones who would consider it a dealbreaker are the insecure betas posting on 4chan.
You fucking kidding me? This place is full of weirdoes.

>>17614725
No, it litterally makes you a slut op.

>>17615611
This anon had better have a mop at hand to clean up all that truth he just spilled.

Best answer in thread.

>>17616206
I hope you're trolling. That was a long, bitter, nonsensical rant.

>>17616238
No it wasn't.

>>17616238
>I'm a woman and I'm here to tell you that men should think like women because what women value is all that ever matters.

>>17614725
>does that make me worth less as a prospective partner when I try to find a guy to actually love
Absolutely, I would dump my gf if I found out she did that. I really fucking hate people like you.

>>17616238
In no way did that come off as bitter. In fact it took steps to detail everything in a rational, unemotional way.

Your post is the only one sounding bitter.

It makes you a gold digging whore. Just because you admit it does not make you less of one. You'll never find anyone that stupid anyways. Unless they're a cuck. Or... I don't know... Here's an idea... Why don't you pull your own weight and be an independent woman? (^:

Yes, I know... *tip* lelel, doesn't make my point less valid.

https://www.reddit.com/r/pussypassdenied/comments/2kgn6c/woman_breaks_up_with_her_boyfriend_of_10_months/cll6lbo

>>17616459
>Why don't you pull your own weight and be an independent woman? (^:


I can now
It's no different than wageslaving

>>17616743
Women, I swear to God

>>17616743
>wageslaving

You mean adulthood?

>>17616755
I mean normal work

>>17616761
Like the guy you're selling your body to is doing?

>>17616766
Why do you even bother man? It's clear to me she doesn't have integrity so you might aswell be trying to explain your point to a wall.

>>17616766
Ehh, I wouldn't call it normal
He was born into it

>>17616773
Integrity? Oh dear oh my
I probably have more integrity than your mom

>>17616773
She may never see the error in what she's doing or how she's doing it now but she can be less shitty to the next guy if she honestly wants to take it seriously.

>>17614725
Personally I wouldn't date someone who was in a relationship for money, but at least you were up front with the guy.

I guess it depends how much I liked and trusted you.

>>17616791
What next guy? I'm not a serial gold digger or something. I'm not actively looking for men to use
And how am I being shitty?

You're living in an era that is telling you that you can do no harm as a woman. You can do whatever you want and no man's feelings will ever matter. Your feelings are all that matter and all that ever will.

You can fuck countless men and still expect to be respected as a strong woman. You can cheat on or fuck for money whomever you want, however often you want, and you'll still be just as deserving of love and a healthy relationship as anyone else.

The fact of the matter is you lack empathy. That's why you're here, asking 4chan of all places, whether you deserve to be loved. Practice developing empathy and you'll be well on your way to discovering all the answers to your questions on this subject.

>>17616807
I meant whomever the next guy is you'll eventually want a serious relationship with. You won't get one out of this guy.

>>17616819
Yes, I know
But that's the only relationship I have at the moment and I'm in no way shape or form being shitty
And I can guarantee the next one won't be for money

>>17616810
Who's feelings are you talking about? Sugar daddy or prospective husband? Because if you guys think sugar daddy is seriously in love with me and I'm just playing him then lmao

>>17614725
u dont want to go out with someone who is judgmental in the first place. judgmental people especially to someone that likes you are not loving at all.

>>17614725
or you can go the easy way out and date a guy that has gone out with sluts and make it even. but yes, even if he is okay with you it makes you unreliable. chances are that he wants to keep you after because why would he waste his time.

>>17616827
You're going to want feelings from the next guy but, currently, it's clear that you wouldn't even know what to do with another person's feelings. I wouldn't say you're being shitty to this current guy but, if you try to start something emotional with another in your current state, you will be shitty.

If you want to take your next relationship seriously, you need to change. Specifically, you need to change how you process what other people and their feelings mean to you.

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yup , you have sold out he will always know you can be bought out from under him at any time.
love at this point is meaningless.

>>17614725
>If I date a guy for monetary reasons for a while - while being perfectly clear it is for monetary reasons btw
It would be perfectly clear you're clearly a slut btw

>>17616936
Get it all off your chest, anon. This isn't the thread for it, but you clearly don't care.

>>17616862
So, was this helpful at all, femanon?

Questions? Corrections?

>>17617066
I don't get what about me tells I can't deal with other people's feelings

>>17614725
If a guy has sex with a woman with the knowledge that he's just using her, does that make him worth less as a prospective partner in the future when he looks for love from another woman?

>>17617117
You're asking 4chan if you deserve to be loved based on the fact that you're having sex with someone exclusively for money.

You don't know what about this situation is strange.

Honestly I wish I did this before I meet hubs. He is my one and only but honestly I wish I fucking sold my v card and had a sugar daddy. Just don't tell anyone what you are doing and move away from the area when the relationship is over with.

Holy shit, what is it with all these /r9k/ posters flooding this thread?

Guys... let me give you /adv/ice. Your pure virgin waifu doesn't exist. All women have a past. That you are so angry about a girl who has been with someone before is just a recipe for dying a virgin.

>>17614725
>If I date a guy for monetary reasons for a while - while being perfectly clear it is for monetary reasons btw - does that make me worth less as a prospective partner when I try to find a guy to actually love? Even though it is just one guy does that automatically make me seem an unreliable slut?
to a very small %tage of guys who care about their female partners to not be children they take care of. so don't worry, you'll easily find another guy. you can continue to work your hostess job.

>>17617160
it's written all over you. people can tell you lust for cock.

>>17617693
Shoo, you imbecile.

>>17617693
We are in a thread about an ex prostitute. There is some difference between not wanting to date her and wanting to date a perfect, pure and virgin girl.

>>17617693
>All women have a past.

Yes.

And every car has an odometer. And people pay less money for cars with higher miles.

And tampering with odometers is a federal crime, because it's committing fraud.

Most men care about honesty, and most men care about the past sexual history of women if they are considering them for exclusivity/LTR/marriage.

How much they care varies from man to man, of course.

>>17617796
OP's mileage is just one guy

>>17617796
>most men care about the past sexual history of women

False. Unless by "most men" you mean "insecure virgins on a Cambodian tapestry forum".

>>17617810
This. The exception being if the girl was a prostitute, stripper, or known slut. But men don't care about the number of partners. I've been with current bf for a year and he's never asked about the number of sexual partners I've had

>>17617802

>milage is one guy

fucking a guy for money is hard miles

10k miles on grandma's car is a lot different than 10k miles on a rental car

>>17617819
>I've been with current bf
>bf
>I know what I'm talking about when I talk about what men (should) think

kek

>>17617810
>False. Unless by "most men" you mean "not cucks like me"

>>17617830
How many pristine 0 mileage gfs have you had bud? Don't lie, we're on an anonymous forum. And don't worry I won't make fun of you

>>17617819

is he planning on marrying you any time soon? or are you the comfortable live-in fuck buddy?

if he doesn't think of you as a long term deal, he won't ask, because it doesn't matter.

if he's too timid to ask, he also won't ask. but in that case, he'll still care about it - just not as much as he cares about not feeling alone.

>>17617833
The point was that he's never asked me, so it's obvious he doesn't care

>>17617838
We aren't monetarily ready for that kind of commitment yet, but one day. Casual fling don't last longer than a couple months, y'know

>>17617836
Beta permavirgins always use the word "cuck" to cover their insecurities.

>>17617840
The point was that you think you know what most men think. Just because he's never asked doesn't mean he's never been curious, unless you've known each other your whole lives or relatively close to that amount of time.

>>17617848
>Cucks always use the words "beta permavirgins" to cover their insecurities.

>>17617837

>how many pristine girls

Just 1.

I have kissed 6 girls, and had sex with all 6, and was in long term monogamous relationships with all 6 of them.

Not all of those relationships were serious, of course; a couple girls I told up front that we'd have no long term future together, and if they were comfortable with that, we could enjoy each other until we moved on to different things.

One of those six was a virgin.
One of them was a stripper with kids.

My wife wasn't a virgin, but I damn well knew her history.

The girls I wasn't serious about, I didn't bother asking their history. We had no future; so history didn't matter either.

Although, I am just learning how common herpes and STDs are these days. That stuff wasn't a big deal when I was a kid.

BTW, I don't condone my behavior as a youth. I'd tell myself to do some things differently, if I could.

Instead, I'm telling you.

When you engage in an expectedly committed monogamous relationship with someone, chances are high that you want to trust that this other person wants monogamy/commitment from you, too. You've made it clear that what you want out of this relationship is you and them together exclusively for a significant period of time.

You don't want to find out that the person you've been hoping wants what you want is actually the kind of person who gives no fucks about giving fucks to anyone and everyone or without any feeling behind it. Without any feeling of intimacy behind it, that it's something they currently are only willing to engage in with the person they claim to be monogamous to.

It's very off-putting finding out that the person you've invested strong emotion in couldn't really care any less about you because you're just another scratch on their bedpost. Is that an insecurity? Of course it is. Is it illegitimate, by any means? No. When you're looking for something specific and someone offers what looks like what you want but it turns out to be counterfeit, you have every right to be disappointed.

>>17617840
>We aren't monetarily ready for that kind of commitment yet, but one day.

what the hell does this mean?

Anyone living in the US is in the top 1% of wealth globally.

Do you think people in African countries shouldn't get married? Because they are all poorer than you are...

As far as your boyfriend is concerned, your lack of wealth isn't a reason to delay marriage. His lack of wealth might be, but only because he knows if he doesn't have a good enough career, you will leave him.

In the situation with your bf, I'm guessing it's not about lack of money; it's about lack of confidence and lack of commitment.

>>17614725
Not necessarily. The trap here is that if the guy doesn't know you will probably won't feel like telling him, but if he hears it from other sources it will be worse. If there's is someone you love, they'll better hear about it from you.

>>17617830
So fucking one guy for money as bad fucking ten guys for fun?

>>17617936

>which one is better

I can't answer that on behalf of every guy.

But nearly 100% of guys that were interested in you for something long term would be happier with you if you avoided BOTH choices.

>>17617850
And yet the beta virgins here supposedly know what most men think?

>>17617964

>beta virgins know what men think

well, if you believe in the alpha/beta/gamma stuff, you know that alpha is a tiny fraction of all men, whereas beta is the largest chunk.

so, yes, if you think men here are beta, then they DO know what most men think.

>math is hard!

>>17617887
>lack of wealth isn't a reason to delay marriage

This is what happens when kids try to give advice to adults. Your statement is utterly retarded. It is THE main reason. Marriage changes the couple's finances, and other things, completely. It makes zero sense to hurry up to get married when there is a huge cost involved. People get married once they are ready. Financials play a huge part.

>>17617970
Most men are none of those. Betas are the bottom 10%.

>>17617947
100% of prospects would probably be happier if I was Megan Fox, but life isn't perfect

>>17617972

>when kids try to give advice to adults
hahahahahahahahahahah

I am nearing 40. I have a wife and 4 kids.

My wife and I got married after I had been out of college 2 years; she paid for our small wedding with money she saved from her retail job.

We waited as long as we did because i was worried about getting married, not because we needed to be richer first. She wanted to get married much sooner.

>>17617973
This guy's so "alpha" he's never read a book.

>>17617980
I wouldn't. I've met her. I'm not a fan.

>>17617985
For someone your age, you give terrible advice. Probably because you live in your own little bubble and aren't connected with the realities of dating and marriage today.

>>17617998
Also, if you have anything at all like a personality that doesn't make average people want to do painfully violent things to you, you're still a better catch than a lot of "10/10"s in spite of the prostitution.

>>17618020
>aren't connected with the realities of dating and marriage today.

this is true.

and why would i want to be? today sounds frustrating - there's a total lack of useful role models or positive examples in our society. People today are pretty bad at marriage and dating, so near as i can tell.

what you guys are doing isn't working very well, is it?

waiting later to get married, waiting later to have kids - is that making people happier? telling yourself you both needs jobs so you can get a bigger mcmansion, so you can finally have kids, each with their own bedroom...

is that better for you? for your kids?

I advocate for a picture of human life that has been around longer, and so has been well tested. And that picture is simple: Avoid casual sex, get married young, go to church, invest in your community, stay married, have kids early, be a stay at home mom, work your butts off...

and finally, be grateful for being born into such a time and place as this, where, compared to most other humans for most of history, life is on Easy Mode.

Just because society currently peddles degenerate garbage, doesn't mean you have to accept it.

the "reality" of marriage today is that the way most people do it, fails miserably.

So, make a better reality, using old fashioned ideas that are old because they were effective.

>>17618064
>le everything was better in the old days meme

On the contrary, divorces are getting more common now that the last generation who got married young is realizing their mistakes. Marry young, have kids, wait for kids to move out, divorce. People who didn't rush into marriages are the ones with stable marriages.

>>17618076
I've seen this happening so much.
My parents got married relatively late (27,29) and had me 3 years later. Still together after 26 years, very much in love.
Pretty much all of my friends parents who married young got divorced when kids where 16 or so.
I also had a friend who turned 30 this year who just divorced after 10 years of marriage.
Anecdotal as fuck, but still, I have seen couples who married young divorce so much lately.

>>17618089
Perfectly logical. After all, when you are a teenager, you know nothing about adult life. How are you supposed to know what you want in a life partner? That's why marrying young is a recipe for disaster.

>>17618091
I think so.
I mean - I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 years now (I am 23), but while I love him and I'm generally happy with him, and we have been living together for a while, I still think it's a different commitment than marriage and I'd like to wait till I'm older before getting marriage.
I want to be an adult, have responsibilities and see if we both still feel the same.

>>17618100
A good way to go about it. I know couples who have been together since high school. But they also waited to get married until they were adults with their life together.

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>>17615529
That's not the point.

We are capable of having many lovers but the emotional preying of people upon each other to satisfy their carnal desires and imploded sense of ego is something which can devalue the act of sex and there are plenty of people like me and you who knowingly or unknowingly subject themselves or are subjected to trauma through malevolence of other persons. It is extremely difficult for people to face these wounds.

>>17619261
Here here

>>17614725
if he is stupid enough to date you, then it's fine lol