Well, I'm officially a cuck 33, two kids What do?

Get custody of the kids and move on. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself. Nothing excuses cheating so don't beat yourself up.

Story?

Daarover dus. Nu kun je ook aus mein computer gehen bitte enzo. Raus. Jetzt geht los.

Your kids?

>>17601629
>Playing a game you can only loose

>>17601629
Shit.

Decide, right now, if you want to forgive and move forward, and get past it/ get over it.

Be honest with yourself. If you can't/don't want to, leave now.

Don't put yourself & your family through the pain & horror of a bitter angry relationship.

t. daughter of cheating dad and bitter mom who stayed together

>>17601629
Prove the kids aren't yours and divorce.
I'm assuming you are an official cuck in the sense you discovered you were raising someone else's kids all this time.

>>17601938
>Don't out your family through the pain of a ln angry relationship
Didn't the wife just did that?
Is this the thread where the guy gets cucked right?

>>17601946
The point is: it is better to break up the family and raise the kids separately in peaceful homes than to continue a rotten relationship and subject them to endless arguments that always go back to the same old hurts.
I don't know if it is possuble to forgive and completely move on, but if not, better to end it quickly than to drag it out.

>>17601955
You are assuming single parents make peaceful homes
Wich according to every single studh in the world is wrong
It's not possible to forgive that specially as a man because she didn't just hurt his relationship but your his identity, confidence, self esteem and pride
There is a reason why cuck is the most hurtful thing you can call a man today

>>17601972
No.
It really does depend on the circumstances, but bitterness and mistrust are toxic for kids.
I had that for breakfast every morning since very young, along with mom's nervous breakdowns.
I'm telling you: it is not good for the kids.
A big part of cheating is lying, and kids need stability and honesty.
I hope OP can take the kids and leave.

>>17601989
Divorce doesn't fix bitterness and mistrust
you dont have to tell me shit, my childhood could be taken from a heroin addicts biography

>>17601997
>Divorce doesn't fix bitterness and mistrust
No, but it does put it into the background rather than front-and-center. That is still often an improvement over nastily-toxic marriages.

I encourage forgiveness and rebuilding, when it is practical. It often is. But sometimes it's not. Cheating usually isn't. When there are kids involved it's even worse, because it affects your ability to get the feelings out where you can process them in the immediate aftermath.

>>17602031
No it doesn't
I have seen awful people make life hell for their children after a divorce

Are you really mad about it? Like so mad that you're screaming at her if she's out for longer than an hour? A year later?

Divorce.

Are you just grievously irritated? Do you feel guilty because you may have contributed to her actions? I know let's not blame the victim here but shit has consequences. Ultimately you can patch it up. Also kind of depends on why she cheated on you. A brief fling to renew her vigor? Did she seem more interested in sex with you after the affair? Or did she lose interest in you entirely and is just no longer attracted?

Lot of questions you have to ask yourself.
It requires some serious consideration because you would sunder a family. And a cheating spouse doesn't automatically turn you into some crazy trust issue addled broken snowflake. It's not guaranteed you're going to be stewing in anger and fear forever until the end of the marriage. It's all about who you are and who she is as a person.

>>17602137
Have you become complacent with the terrible life you formed with a wife who does not love not respect you?
Good do not question this
This is not the time to think long about everything that happened and will happen and if you want to be that guy who doesn't even care if his wife fuck random people behind his back or in his face this is the time to completely give up any expectations you ever had and surrender yourself as a work drone

Trust me you aren't feeling outrage because that's the reaction you should have not because you have been coerced over the years to loose your self respect by am awful marriage, home life, work and life all together
Never wonder if things could be better for you that's wrong

>>17601972
That's because men are increasingly addicted to pornography and basically not doing anything with their lives but racking up debt and then playing video games for a living. You have to build your self-esteem on more than just the procurement of pussy. Cuck is hurtful here because most of this site's user base are fucking losers. Get the hell out and do something with your life.

>>17602161
Yeah alright if you're not the OP stop projecting your personal butthurt about infidelity. I'm saying shit is circumstantial and everyone is different.

>>17602162
My aunt and my (uncle?) Got divorced and she became absolutely insane while the guy went to form anew family and get a promotion to director of a psychiatric ward at a hospital
His life is awesome and my aunt became absolutely insane and I see her taking it out on her kids all the time, we all feel sorry for them and we are all fed up WITH her bullshit

>>17602162
Cuck isn't used against people here, it's an insult we use for the nu males who go on slut walks or marry single mothers or white knight girls that wouldn't give them the time of day
Honestly seeing a grown man bend over backwards for a woman who wouldn't even touch him and thinks he is disgusting is funny

>>17602175

what's your point?

>>17602168
Haha
Women do this all the time they will ware you down over the years and when she finally gets caught cheating you won't care because you aren't exactly loosing a woman you love or a life you enjoy or a family you appreciate
And then they will turn that on you and tell you it's all your fault
Single dad's usually have great relationships with their kids while single moms are the single reason black culture is nasty as shit and a good chunk of them never make it to adulthood alive
If your wife
Fucks another guy
And it makes you angry
Do something about it, get rid of her
If it doesn't
Realize there is something terribly wrong about your life and your whole family
And you are working your way to an early grave and a life you will regret living

>>17602187
I thought you were talking about divorce not the word cuck, I already replied to that too

>>17601629
Op you know what it means when your wife cheats on you and you domt feel like murdering both of them
It means you are incredibly unhappy amd chances are the cheating wife has something to do with it

My parents got divorced after my mom cheated and she moved in with the faggot and I was legally forced to live with her and him for a while. But hoenstly, it was still better than her and my dad fighting literally all the time.

They waited to get divorced for a few years though until I was around eleven. Personally, I think it's better for the kids to just get the divorce over with and not subjucate them to living with parents who resent each other and fight all the time. That shit is worse.

>>17602283
holly Molly your mom is a whore
Like sleeping around with an 8 year old son
Jeesus I seriously hope you didn't let that one go easy

>>17601629
Can't really give any good advice without specificts of the situation.

>>17602287
I'm the youngest of her three kids, too. Honestly, I will never not resent her a little, but I don't hate her like I did when I was younger. I just barely ever talk to her. She basically adopted this faggot's family and I don't particularly associate with them, so whenever I go to visit or anything, I feel like a complete stranger.

I'll still feel sad when she dies though.

>>17601874
OP here
So married for 8 years. I have a job where I work with 22 yos students, my wife gets jealous all the time for years says I'm going to leave her when she gets older, I try to reassure her, I've never even talked to a student outside of pure work things

She stayed at home raising the kids while finishing her studies, it takes longer than expected. I work longer and longer hours to make more money for us since she doesn't work

Finally this year she gets a job in another town. She can work from home but has to go there twice a month. Once a week we drink and we talk until 4am, after a few months like this i get tired i tell her I'm fed with your alcohol consumption (she drinks much more than me)

She starts chatting with this guy from her work when i go to sleep during these weekend nights after that

Few months later we go to her job town for a few days, one of the days she comes back drunk at 4am while we were supposed to dine together. A week later she goes back there alone.

Three month later she doesnt want me to touch her anymore, tells me she slept with that dude twice, and another dude from work too (drunk and sober). That it killed her to lie she has to tell me but she has to have an open marriage now.

I feel really fucked. Love her, my kids and they love her too...

>>17602421
Leave her. Your kids will survive.

>>17602421
Leave. Get your shit together.
Been in a similar position before.
Sell and run.
Shit is going to get crazy.

>>17602476
Can you tell me about your situation?

>>17602421
My mother has always been crazy hedonistic and my father has always been this kind of crazy self denying solipsistic individual who relies on a strong sense of self discipline.

Anyway, he basically kicked her out because her demands got too irritating for him when I was 9 and he held firm against her crazy bullshit. She went into open relationships, multiple partners, living with lesbians and pregnant lesbians alongside a fair bit of drug and alcohol abuse, ageing really poorly and trying to maintain relevance in a scene which no longer wanted her and he just was.

Right now she has just finished a series of most likely filmed 'milf gangbang' porn in hotels and at paid private parties while having a 25 year old boyfriend (I'm 33) and my father has just been this kind of steady and quiet maniac who gets shit done and does what he wants.

The older I get and the more philosophy I am exposed to alongside life the more I can see that his approach is totally authentic and honest from his perspective. She is still seeking validation from others and scared of her advancing age and fears of being alone, he is just getting on with shit.

My point is from the perspective of the child, the stable and steady family member is the one that wins out in the end. It might not be the most exciting life, but honestly, when the dust settles you look back and you realise what a fucking mess some people are, your wife saying she is basically in an open marriage now.

Be strong, be a man, kick that shit to the curb despite your fear of doing life alone and being alone and losing so much. Nothing is worth more than your values and sense of self, don't let anybody undermine and erode it.

In the long run my mother is the desperately needy one, seeking validation and needing others to tell her what hot shit she is despite facing old age without anything stable to fall back on. My father has a strong family, strong friends and is in a position where so many people would be there.

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>>17602497
>'milf gangbang' porn
I'll be needing a link to that, anon

>>17602563
Seriously anon, irrespective of this women being my mother you do not want to see that sort of shit. She is in her 50's and while I'm sure a certain type of guy wants to see that sort of shit, she is a complete nightmare to be around.

Imagine a really insecure needy women who despite being in her 50's has never learnt anything more than how to use her average at best body to get attention and get what she needs done.

I am so positive about my father despite him also being quite a maniac because he stood firm in the face of her bullshit and set a good example of what boundaries look like in the face of her being so manipulative and horrific.

Like when I was a teenager she tried to seduce all my friends and she tried to bribe me and them with drugs and alcohol to get us to like her. Now I'm much older and I've a house and a car and a career and a girlfriend she flirts with my girlfriend and visits and tries to shit talk me for being like my father instead of living free and fun and easy like her.

Thing is, I find her whole act kind of tragic. I just want her to be happy, but she is so badly adjusted. Like bragging about being paid to go and help host a BDSM party at a hotel involving some seriously unhappy and possibly exploited young people. Or her relationship with guys in their early 20's where she plays 'mother' and simulates breast feeding.

Like yeah, so super impressed mother. I've got a roof to slate up and an exhaust to replace on the car, I'm so glad sex is like 99% of your life.

>>17602421
Bitch trapped you into a horrible marriage were you paid for everything and since she had no respect nor gave a fuck about you and since she didn't have to be around you or the kids she decided to fuck whoever she wanted
Get the fuck out, you are going to get destroyed by court since she never worked that's why you don't marry a woman who doesn't work you are going to have to support her for life
Honestly jump countries find work somewhere else how old are your kids? Tell them she fucked your coworkers and you are leaving not because of them because you love them but because of the mom and tell them to look for you once they are 18

>>17602497
I would add your kids need you but they don't need you to die in the couch while their mom fucks around
They need you to set an example and tell that bitch to fuck off and tell her how awful she truly is
Otherwise pretty spot on

>>17602592
What an awful person
I hope that you cut contact if not now at least before you have kids
You do not want this woman around your kids

>>17602609
I stayed with my Dad. My sister moved in with my mother shortly after because she was offering more conventional stuff and complete freedom and things, but she was horrific drama filled nightmare fuel at the best of times.

My father never sat idle on the sofa waiting to die. He isn't normal, but so many people aren't normal upon reflection, normal for me is abnormal.

He alternates between periods of depression and inactivity and mania and ridiculous amounts of activity. Like building a vintage car or some out buildings and eventually a whole house levels of activity. He also quit work to basically raise me full time with this bizarre home schooling shit where we grew crops, raised chickens and pigs, build water traps and photo-thermic heating systems while growing and processing firewood, working on cars, engines, doing metal work and random chemistry while doing random jobs and gardening. He is basically a hobby farmer and a bit insane. Like building a watch tower on his property insane and greeting the sun each morning by doing pull ups and human flags off of it.

>>17602643
Sounds like he is bipolar

>>17602685
Yeah before bipolar was a thing doctor said he suffered from diurnal variation but was too stubborn to seek help. He takes to his bed until he gets filled up with self loathing so he has to do something and then that propels him to take on crazy projects where he stops eating and sleeping because he is so consumed with working on projects.

Usually these projects start benign, but start to infringe on legal issues/problems with neighbours/land disputes and eventually then they start to take downwards turn. The world is out to stop him, get him, paranoia begins to slow him down, occasionally he does some crazy and dangerous stuff as revenge against perceived insults/attacks from otherwise fairly normal people and he eventually returns to his bed until again self loathing throws him back into the world trying to prove something. That or he goes through periods of threatening suicide. When he does that I usually get him to come stay I visit for a period of time to help him with stuff because I know he is seriously lonely and struggling.

As an example he is currently building a 64'x32 metal structure from old truck bodies and reclaimed scrap metal panels at the bottom of his 'garden' because he wants this huge post apocalyptic cathedral for some strange reason. The neighbours are threatening legal action over planning disputes for it and in retaliation he has torn down several trees on the boundary, throwing them onto the front of their house as he felt he was only tolerating those trees out of good faith, doing them a favour and they have now burnt their bridges with him.

Once he did some welding for a guy and when he tried to get paid the guy threatened him and told him fuck off. I was in the truck when he tore through the guys wall and did doughnuts, ripped the garden to pieces and screamed out the window that he'd come back and stab the guy while brandishing a knife.

He says shit like "you can only push a man so far before he has nothing to lose".

>>17602730
I have bipolar too and i refuse to take any medication because I was drugged to hell and back by my parent's as a kid and a trigger happy psychiatrist
If you have ever wondered how it is like from the other side it's like you feel like there is absolutely no point in life and that the world is putrid and sometimes you feel like none of that matters at all and sometimes you just feel ok
And it's pretty much impossible to stick to anything, I guess not for your dad tho since you said he is pretty strict, he must be forcing himself to do a lot of stuff, I sometimes struggle to walk like I phisially feel like my legs have big heavy chains

>>17602754
I have similar traits to him so I can relate. The way he deals with the depression is to stay in bed and isolate himself from everything. The way he deals with the mania is huge projects, delusions of grandeur and insomnia combined with binge drinking and not eating enough food.

Basically though I agree with him. The world is horrible. People are horrible. Everything is a massive self inflicted burden and obligation and most people only do things due to an insecure need for the validation of others. It is only during those rare lightening strike moments of motivation and true creative sparks that it feels worth doing anything at all.

Most of the time what is the fucking point, it is just maintenance of a pointless absurd existence. Then on the flip side there is the fact that within this horror is everything of meaning and worth and value and all that is important is found by engaging with it, if only you'd give it a shot.

I've had several different therapists and several attempts at medication. I just self medication with drugs, alcohol, exercise and creative pursuits. You get good at predicting the ups and downs and when the down comes you get better at not being so hard on yourself and having faith that it will pass in time. That is the really important thing for me, knowing that it is transitory in nature and you won't always feel this awful.

I can see why people eventually have had enough of it though and just choose suicide. It is extremely tiresome and isn't easy on those around you. Isolating yourself just makes it worse though, even if you do feel like you don't want to inflict it on people any more than strictly necessary.

Also trying to remain aware that maybe everyone feels like this to some extent helps me. Maybe I'm not suffering anything, maybe I'm just living. I can't change it, so why bemoan it? Maybe other people just don't fucking think so much about it. You play the cards dealt to you as so many before have done.

>>17602957
It's almost like you read my mind
I started drawing a bit over two years ago but I stopped after realizing that I will never be good enough and i will never be able to handle a job of any kind , I feel a profound gathered of the world because I'm sure this was caused by all the abuse I got and all the medication I was in most of my life
Also everyone loves to blame me for everything so fuck that, I'm obese anyways, 80% of people with bipolar are and when i finally get diabetes I will absolutely without a dobut end everything, it's not like I haven't tried before
Honestly i hate people everyone always tries to take advantage of me and use me especially my family, I hope there is a heaven so we can all end up in hell

>>17603031
Well shit. I'm sorry to hear that. I've found it really easy to gain or lose weight depending on my mental state. I might fluctuate by 15kg fairly easily over a year.

Exercise helps. Taking control of a situation that you previously felt victimised by such as your weight or fitness helps. It also has a natural feel good factor and helps to channel energy and frustration into something which shows continuous positive improvement.

Things like that I stay fond of because they aren't wasted time and effort and I don't get the self loathing thing spending time on them and they have inbuilt reward mechanisms.

I just get bored, when I get bored I used to get self destructive and wreak my relationships and stability in order to bring about change, but that is a poor coping mechanism so usually now I take up a hobby.

I get all obsessive about a hobby and go completely overboard. After a while I tend to drop that hobby because all I'm trying to do is stop the endless grinding madness of the boredom of being alive and I start to get disgusted with myself and my inability to simply be happy to exist.

My big concern is basically the thrill and pleasure in developing a new skill or ability is becoming old and worn out and as such I'm becoming less willing to develop new skills because I'm aware of what I'm doing, I'm trying to stop myself being bored and frustrated. I'm trying to become rather than be satisfied with actually being. I don't know I guess.

I get REALLY obsessive about hobbies for about a year and then tend to drop them. Like I brewed beer, it wasn't enough to brew beer, I had to have 3 beers on tap in the bathroom using a homemade kegerator. I had to make a gravity fed microbrewery with counterflow wort chiller w/ heat recovery for cleaning. I had to get the equipment to test and adjust water chemistry to match Lovibond scales and calculate mash efficacy and temp for alpha and beta amylase activity. Drew line at temp controlled fermentation.

>>17602421

LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE

>>17603087
Maybe you are the kind of bipolar that experiences more highs than lows
I'm the opposite of that

>>17601972
What?
Dude, my parents were married for 20 years, they divorced when I was 14 or so.

I cannot express to you how relieving it was when they told me they were breaking up. Not only were they constantly fighting, I was the oldest of the two youngest of their respective families, so they bullied the fuck out of me.

My brother was like 10, and literally told them "I don't care". Trust me dude, it was easier

>>17603218
Not for everyone anon
Plus you were 14 and your brother 10, early childhood is pretty shitty for children of divorced parents
Some parents fuck of from their kids lives after the divorce, some go full insane using the kids as weapons
My home life was hell in its entire duration and it didn't stop being hell when they divorced. It even got worse.
Pretty much I have a calm and peaceful life now that I live alone
I have seen divorced parents being absolutely horrible after the divorce and I know that it's more common than not

>>17603231
Seems to me that it's more about the quality of the parents than the quality of the marriage, in the end.

Considering there's no standard for parents, and OP's marriage seems to be about done either way, I still think divorce will be better in the long run.

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>>17602421
Get the fuck outta there. There is no recovering from that. You can never regain her respect.

>>17603260
Oh yeah divorce in his case is better for him and may be better for the kids depending on who op in was jus talking in general, tons of people divorce with no good reason because it's totally the same for the kid even tho its not at all wich pisses me off yeah op you should because you do have reason

>>17601629
fake your own death and start a new life

>>17603473
This

>>17602643
Wow you father gave you my dream life. I'll try to do that for my own kids.
Teach me.

>>17602643
Based dad preparing you for the happening.

>>17602421
Oh well I guess you can divorce and she can have full custody and the house and a huge chunk of your paycheck. Fucking women how can you even defend this shit?

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>>17602421
>I feel really fucked. Love her, my kids and they love her too...

SO MUCH KEK I'M BLOWN AWAY FROM MY MONITOR NOW

You can only hope the kids are yours. Nothing guarantee that she wasn't a slut from the beginning. Actually, she probably was. You've been played into kekdom, raising her kids and letting her go up in hypergamy. She has found more sexually interesting partners for her and you've been reduced to a role of provider. Congrats OP. I'd punch you in the face for this last sentence. Just get your shit together and see things as they are. You've been working hard for all of then and she will repay you with open marriage? Maybe she will even try to put a blame on you for working too much and not giving this slut attention? You've been married to an immature, irresponsible, unaccountable slut. Shit deal, that's all.

>>17604285
By not marrying, not putting your life on gynocentric sacrificial altar, not taking a role of a provider kek. Marriage is unequal deal right now and until things change shits not worth it. Learn from such stories.

He worked too much so I started fucking around is like eternal story coming back since gorillion of years.

>>17601629
If you can't get custody sign yourself up for child support and get your kids each a phone so you don't have to deal with her to speak with them.

Whatever you once had its now a business partnership with your kids happiness as the profit margin.

>>17602421
I had an uncle who left his wife because she started having problems. She was only getting worse everyday and he finally had enough and had a divorce. It was hard on him for about a year. Him being with his son really helped during that time. He got married about a year ago and has been really happy ever since.