when is it okay to break up?

>>17599651
as early as possible
if u keep leading the thottie on she will get even more emotionally invested

why do you want to move on?

>>17599659
frustrations within the relationship and with aspects of her.

there are other women being introduced into my life that are piquing my interest but i don't want to pursue if i'm still in a relationship.

gf wants to be married and start a family within 5 years. i don't know if i could be with her long term.

>>17599666
then it's time to leave. you're not happy and you'd just be stringing her on. granted you might look back and regret this so make sure you're settled before you pull the trigger

>>17599701
is it that simple?

i've hardly been able to see her since classes started. we went from near every day interaction to twice a week.

i've been making mental notes of me caring less about her day, paying less attention to her when she speaks, not initiating sex like i usually do, etc.

this is my first relationship. i've never broken up with someone before. it's not like there was a case of infidelity or something which would make this real easy.

>>17599726
>it's not like there was a case of infidelity or something which would make this real easy

It's basically NEVER easy.

You could try to tough it out and see how it goes, and there's merit to doing that some times, but often times people end up feeling trapped in their relationship, grow bitter and resentful, and then make the entire situation toxic as fuck, ultimately damaging their ability to hold healthy relationships util they fix themselves.

Put in as much work as you think you're willing to. But if you don't have that drive or spark, then it's time to go.

Relationships DO require effort, but you need to be willing to put that in, it needs to be mutual, and you both have to truly want it.

>>17599726
it's as simple as you want it to be but from your relative inexperience with relationships I'm going to tell you that there will always be another girl coming along that seems like the greatest thing ever. The hard part of commitment is accepting that. The allure is there because you know all the dirty details about your current gf whereas you only know the best parts of these other girls. What's under the surface might not be worth it. At some point you just got to stop looking and focus on building what you have.

>>17599761
>>17599763
i'm just kind of tired. i feel the relationship is very imbalanced in terms of energy invested and effort made.

she makes things difficult for herself which makes things difficult for me. her deficiency with proper stress management is exhausting. i legitimately believe she creates scenarios to become stressed about if she doesn't have anything else to be anxious about. it's like, "my week is going pretty smoothly. i better self implode about some minuscule inconvenience to keep things consistent." she can be very childish/immature which is annoying and creates obstacles when i try to help her.

there are times where i think being single and failing at dating (like i was before this relationship) would be more enjoyable than the bad days i have with her.

i understand that i don't know these new girls on an intimate level. i'm unsure if they're even single, that's how little i've made an effort to flirt or probe for information. i would feel guilty if i started doing that sort of stuff while in a relationship.

holy shit OP, are you me??? This is literally the exact situation I'm in. First relationship. I want to break up. She is already talking about long distance for when I get transferred next year. I'm just thinking about how stressful it is for me to put up with her and listen to her cause she wants to be together 24/7 and I have other interests aside from her. I just don't know how to break the news to her without being a total scum bag.

>>17599822
>there are times where i think being single and failing at dating (like i was before this relationship) would be more enjoyable than the bad days i have with her.

apples to oranges. would it be better than the good days you have with her?

>>17599842
the good days are waning in terms of intensity and frequency. so yes, possibly down the line it may seem more enticing.

Op, after you break up, can you come back and tell us your experience? It'd be cool to know how you feel after breaking up.

>>17599850
well it sounds like it's time to go.

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>>17599878

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>>17599651
>>17599833

I made the decision to finally break up with my first girlfriend (lasted 2.5 years) about two weeks ago and I don't regret it.

The last year had kind of been dysfunctional and a waste of time, but due to my insecurities about being able to find another girl on her "level", I tried to stick it out.

A few weeks ago I started getting looks from this cute girl I had seen like a year ago but never thought I would have a chance at. I made the decision that I wanted to take the chance and try to get that girl than stay in my unhealthy relationship.

I ended up hooking up with the new girl last night, so that went well.

I still miss my ex though, similar to you guys she was wanting things to get super serious at a quicker pace than I was ready for. A lot of her close friends were getting married and I wasn't into going to weddings and shit. She also had moved 2.5 hours away recently, which only complicated things.

Overall, if you guys are in your early 20s and having these feelings that you want out, you should get out at least to see what it's like.

The best part is that things ended on good terms with my ex and we still have been talking as friends.

>>17599953
ugh.

i'm going to try and make a big effort for one or two weeks. i'll see if this is something i can work on. if i still feel this way at the end of this then i'll break it off.

i'm happy that you got out and came out the better. even if i regret this later on, at least it'll be a learning experience.