Help with an extra-marital affair

Lol you "didn't ask for these feelings". It's really obvious you fucking love this shit man. Drama and bullshit seem to be your hobby.

>>17597402
So many red flags and you still proceeded to even exist in the same area of space as thjs chick... You clearly like this kind of crap. Probably get off on it like it's fuel for you blog on adv where you get to be the special snowflake for a few moments.

>>17597429
>>17597441

Eh, you're not entirely wrong, but it's not why I associate with her. Sure, it does add intrigue to my work-gym-sleep life that I'm living at the moment but until this most recent time I was always the one pulling away from her, especially during the actual affair. When she and I weren't talking over the summer I was at peace and I really loved having an actual, straight-forward relationship.

It's always been about her. Seriously, minus the rampant infidelity she's an amazing person and my ideal girl. The way she sees the world, the way she talks to me and remembers everything, her passion for her work and other people, her thoughtfulness, she's a great lady. The only caveat is that she's, you know, a total fucking snake who'd break my heart. I don't know why I think I can do differently.

I'm not even denying that if she suddenly started spending a few hours working where I work and waiting for my lunch breaks again I'd be happy. If she invited me back to her town again, I'd jump on the opportunity. I've even imagined it since she got back in touch, which is really healthy for me, right? I really don't like this about me and I've tried cutting contact before.

>>17597475
You sound like a basic bitch.

You sound like you should be a generic friend character in soon to be canceled sitcom who is always having drama.

>>17597475

"Eh, you're not entirely wrong,..Sure, it does add intrigue to my work-gym-sleep life that I'm living at the moment"

you being truthful with yourself

"I really don't like this about me"

you being truthful with yourself

The rest of it doesn't matter. This person is toxic, and gets off on dicking other people around. They like to enter peoples lives like a hurricane and fuck it all up. Sure these people can be charismatic and intriguing... Kind of like a fucking vampire.

I got a girl like this in my life, who's also bi. Had a neat year where she couldn't decide what gender she wanted to fuck. Dated me. Dated her. Blah blah. Really cool person, still tries to be relevant into my life.

You know what feels really good? Not letting someone manipulate your feelings and dictating the dynamics of your friendship since they can't be trusted to. It feels a lot better than letting someone fuck with your head constantly anyways. You'll like yourself more if your mind back from this woman instead of letting her run a train of shit storms on you.

>>17597496
Shit dude, I fell for a gorgeous, charismatic, married woman who seduced me and took my virginity and gave me some of the best memories of my life and appreciated me for all my flaws and quirks and has consistently thought it was worth getting back in contact with me. What a bitch, am I right?

>>17597508
It's hard. I've tried breaking contact with her before but I can't do it. Especially after she cheated again. I was hurt then and I called her after she told me and told her basically everything you said and to never talk to me again. She didn't make any excuses. She didn't try to convince me to feel a certain way. She just explained what happened, why, and how she felt about it afterwards. It was enough for me to stay friends with her. It wasn't until we talked again about how we felt during the affair that my feelings for her came back

That said, I don't feel manipulated by her. I don't think she's ever been less than 100% honest with me about us. But that's just because I've had all the experiences with her. She's never tried to get me back with her, quite the opposite, and she's urged me to find other women to be happy with. She's not a liar, she's just a trainwreck.

Also, the problems were with her wife's feelings towards it.

>>17597542

Well you have to make the situation simple for yourself. Like, "She makes me feel sick and I don't like the way I feel when she's in my life."

Instead of fine-combing the details to figure out what's wrong and right about every minute interaction with this person, you have to do an honest survey of yourself and figure out A) what you want and B) what you need to do to get what you want.

Since you posted here I'm guessing "what you want" is to feel better. How are you going to feel better? Distancing yourself from this person.

Being wrecked by someone because of a relationship is like the silliest thing to me. 7 billion people on Earth and all of human history and this person, who's you call a trainwreck, is bringing your mind to its knees. It's nuts. I'm not saying don't feel heartache, but shit, don't take it so seriously at least.

>>17597555
You're right. So far my reaction has been to not text her and only talk to her when she comes in. Nothing too in-depth, just small talk. I've been tempted to just ask her "Is this your way of 'minimizing our conversations and encounters?'"