How crazy is it to visit a club or bar alone? I´m planing on

>>17596351
Ill come with you

:)

>>17596354
but...but....then I´m not alone anymore :(
That was part of the plan.
But yeah, I mostly go alone, cause I don´t have any friends who enjoy these types of things.

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What country, OP?

I was in the same situation as you. Now I do it a lot, it took a few tries (4-5) but I really enjoy going out now. I usually get at least one good conversation a night, most nights I get several. Haven't figured out how to approach girls yet.

Some general tips coming from the perspective of a fellow social anxiety sufferer:

- I've been doing this for over a year now, and I still start every evening with a panic attack that I have to fight down. The first two hours always suck. I make it a rule to alwas give it two hours.
- You'll notice you'll constantly analyse what you could have done differently: "Oh, I should have said that". "Oh, I should have stayed out longer". "Why have I not gotten laid yet". Those are things you'll constantly be thinking. These sentences are not helpful, and when they come up while you're clubbing, you can practice being indifferent about them
- Some alcohol helps, but when you're an inexperienced drunk, you'll be the one the bouncer kicks out to make a statement. I try to pace myself: After the third unit, I drink a pint of water, thereafter I drink in a pattern of two units, then 1 non-alcoholic.
- /adv/ will hate me for this,and I aknowledge regional and country differences, but up here in Scandinavia, a great ice breaker is to smoke and use the outdoors smoking area. People who have popped outside for a cigarette are open and ready to talk.

In short, go for it!

>>17596351

Depends where you go if that some club where everyone is at table then it sucks to go alone. But if you go to a normal place
where people are dancing and moving around a lot then it is
not big of a deal to meet some people.

Some times I would go alone to a rave and meet people there.

>>17596351
I go to strip clubs alone all the time. No way would any of my friends be into that like I am. It's not so bad.

>>17596351

its not crazy at all. the majority goes with friends, but going alone isn't bad or unacceptable or any of that bullshit. at worst people are surprised, but they dont care and the conversation still rolls

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>>17596402

Good for you man. It is awesome how much you accomplished just keep doing what you are doing.

Hats off

How could it possibly be crazy?

>>17596402
Im in germany.
Thanks for the tips :) and respect for your accomplishments!
What do you think is more apropriate, club or bars?

>>17596444

Dude you are in Germany go to a techno parties best thing ever.

>>17596420
Yeah, I feel like the fact that I won´t see any of these people ever again lifts off some of the anxiety.
What do you think about all these PUA?
Im not sure if I should use some tips of them

>>17596450

Meh forget PUA they so full of shit. Just approach some people and introduce your self.

>>17596449
lol never heard of these techno parties. Gonna look it up, thanks !

>>17596455
Ok, I feel like the most important part is self confidence. I already worked on other areas on my life, so I think my confidence is already pretty high compared to a few years back.
I plan on making clear goals, like approach x-girls, have y-conversations etc.
Also the Oktoberfest is rn where I´m living(munich). Could try that out too. Allthough I dont have the proper clothes for it

I am in the same boat, as OP. Going out with friends is a little overrated. Not that it can't be fun or doesn't work; but what are the chances you all like to do the same things. Maybe you're looking to meet specific types of ppl. Godspeed, cheers!

>>17596464

Well I don't like goals like approach x girls and shit. Set goal to go out and have fun everything else will fall in.

>>17596469
hmmm yeah, I think you are right.
Having fun is after all the most important part.
Its just important for me, that I dont create this safety space of "having fun" so that I dont have to approach anyone.
Like I found a group and hang out with them, and having fun. Because I already have fun, there is no incentive to approach that cute girl, that looked at me and smiled.
That´s why I thought of making more clear rules if that makes sense

>>17596351

Okay so here is what my brother friends does and hopefully it gives you some perspective.

My brothers friend ONLY goes to bars alone if he's trying to pick up chicks, he only goes with friends if its a guys night.

The reason for this is because if you're a women and you see a guy sipping on some whisky or whatever its intimidating to go up to 3-4 people even just 2 people. Where as if you're sitting by yourself its extremely easy and not as intimidating.

He basically sits at the bar and girls come up to him and talk to him.

That said, I had anxiety and thought going places by myself was weird/lonely/awkward and so I never did.... Until i realized its totally fucking normal and helped me break my anxiety + fuck some days i just want to do whatever it is i wanna do.


so yeah its a great idea OP go for it.

>>17596491

I see but that goal won't help you then. You already know that you should approach.
Also sometimes you want to spend time with that group and get to know them a ittle
so you could go out with them some time.

Don't get stuck doing only one thing.