>lying to my gf about how much money i make and have saved

scour trashbins for a used dildo

>>17595200
post this on /adv/, faggot

>>17595200
just b urself

>>17595200
>only having 4 dollars
move back in with your parents or if you're a teenager get a job

>>17595200
Learn your lesson about being a liar.

Go to these used clothes shop, get a nice dress (I don't know what that is though), clean it and iron it.

>>17595200
Buy chocolate.

Make her dinner. Pay attention to her and ask her about her day/night.

Find a movie she likes and put it on. Popcorn.

There done.

>>17595200
tell her you donated the money to charity because the best gift you can give in life is to help someone else

eat her ass
thats free

You should write her a letter. /sp/ will help you. I'll start:

>Dear

Patricia,

>>17595210
stacy

>>17595208
LMAO

If anyone ever got me a gift like those "I donated a goat to some Brazilian family" instead of a real gift, I'd remember that shit forever.

A mental note to never do anything nice for this person again.

>>17595210
TSSUUUUUUUUUU

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Give her something made by you and tell her that you prefer "personal gifts".

kek

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This is what happens to kids who didn't watch Liar Liar.

Give her an old thing (like a broken lamp) and say it was from your grandma and have a very """SENTIMENTAL""" value.

>>17595200
Gift her your piss bottles, that will show her who's boss and that you care

>>17595200
Get into a fight with her, break up. Then get back together again a couples days after her birthday.

>>17595213
Please donate a goat to my family
we are hungry

>>17595200
>>>/r9k/

FUCK OFF

So, what. You telling us she wouldn't have become your gf if you told her how much you really make?

>americonsumerists

>>17595221
>gf
>go to /r9k/
What will they tell him?.

>>17595202
>>17595221
I have reasons to believe you guys got no gf.

you know what is worse than lying to your girlfriend; lying to the girl you are trying to get.

>almost into this girl's pants
>told her i live alone
>i live with my parents

i fucked up

>>17595200
you can't even buy a happy meal with that nigga

>>17595213
>americonsumerists

>>17595207
this

You do know she's cheating on you, probably right now, right?

Just give her the $4.

>>17595200
Get her some cheap flowers, get a vase from a thrift store for a dollar(dont just hand her flowers without a vase), then tell her your financial advisor has tied up a lot of your cash in a short term bond fund or something and that you'll make it up to her soon.

Actual advice: come clean, accept the consequences whatever they may be. Work to right your wrongs.

Meme advice: bullshit your way out of it. Play the "sentimental value" card with a nice gesture and say how that's more important than materialistical value.

>>17595209
this

>>17595229
>le every woman is a whore
who hurt you anon

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>>17595230

>>17595200
Make a draw.

Come clean.

OP if you only have four dollars to your name and you're worrying about a girl friend, your priorities are screwed up. The only sort of girlfriend you should have is one that is ugly that you can manipulate into buying you things and giving you money.

Two pack of condoms

>>17595230
>go and buy yourself something nice femanon

>>17595233
>I'm a cuck
Not surprising

>>17595200
chocolate gurls like chocolate

>>17595225
you can lie to them, i do it everytime, just don't do it with things that they can find out instantly or if you are looking for something in the long term, i've been from a f1 driver to a fucking judge

>>17595212
nigger

Back when both my gf were broke we did the most absurd gifts.

Like a sock filled woth rice.
Or a painted stone.

Now we are engaged and we have better jobs and our own appartment, but going through poverty helped to strengthen our a relationship

>>17595230
kek

>>17595244
That's sweet anon.

>>17595200
quickly put 4 dollars on liverpool and man city. Now with 10 dollars put another bet on and climb ur way son

>>17595220
Underrated post

don't do anything all day, avoid her at all costs

then, a couple hours before sunset, show up at her place and say let's go, without mentioning where. Take her to the beach and walk around, until it gets dark. Then, start a bonfire if the beach allows it, or buy some wine and drink it together. She'll love you for the night and will probably put out.

I used to pull that kinda shit with my ex when I was broke and nothing got her wetter, they love the spontaneous, romantic bullshit

>>17595230

Fucking kek. This is arguably the worst suggestion.

>>17595200
what the hell is wrong with kids these days, you have eight days to make that money, use your fuckin brain. ask your boss if you can get a loan, reply to an odd job ad on craigslist, sell some dope.

>>17595240
nice buzzword pablo, go share your wifi password with the rest of your favela

>>17595207

GAY LOL

>>17595242
>i've been from a f1 driver to a fucking judge

my fucking sides

>>17595200
Give her dick

Give her something simple, make it something you put thought into and if she doesn't like it fuck her
Have some balls nigga

>lying to your gf

Oh boy, your relation will sure get far if you keep it this way...

>>17595200
Walk around and find some flowers to pick for her.

>>17595207
If I had a girlfriend or knew about relationship stuff, this seems like a good idea to me.

But then again, depends on how vapid and materialistic your whore girlfriend is. She might expect a big diamond ring for her birthday

Say you have a gambling problem and grovel

Then work your arse off and make up for it, all if she's worth it of course

Make her something girls love that shit

>>17595261
yeah, girls in middle school.

>>17595213

I gave my gf a tiger for christnas and still support the wwf for her. At first was like, what, so I don't get a real present?? But now she likes it. Don't be too selfish people

>>17595207
how fucking boring. every girl you date will cheat on you

t. femanon

>>17595262
t. Never had a gf or had a jewish gf

my boyfriend fucked me silly for my 21st

Just steal something you pussy

>>17595265
t. is under 25

>>17595200
steal some top notch chocolates, they basically never have security at those boutique stores

>>17595220
The check is in the mail.
t. H.R. Clinton

>>17595268
Nah fa.m 26 and engaged. Made my fiance a collage for our 5 year. She went nuts

>>17595266
that's kinda gay

>>17595271
>engaged
well that explains it. i wasn't talking about women who have to like you.

>A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund

>tfw 29 years old dating a 19 year old

Anyone else know this feel? I just know that everyone thinks I'm some creep.

>>17595275
living the dream lad

when you get to 39 find another one of 19

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>>17595264
>femanon

>>17595275
Depends if they think your taking advantage of her mate

Is she dumb?

>>17595274
kek

>>17595278
She is a very talented cosplayer.

>>17595280
you're a creep fyi

>>17595200
>wasting money on women
Why?

>>17595275
I didn't realize the Muslims got into Ireland already

>>17595282
Not everyone likes guys.

>>17595280
> cosplayer

Yeah, you're creepy

>>17595264
No one actually wants a slut though. I'd say >>17595207 keep doing what you're doing, it's a nice filter for shallow women.

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>>17595280
>cosplayer
>very talented

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>>17595264
>femanon

>>17595200

Give her a pack of doritos or a kids meal. Who doesn't want a kids meal? It comes with a toy, damn it. You get food, and a souvenir.

>>17595283
finding 19yos attractive makes you Muslim?

creeping sharia indeed

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>>17595200

>>17595249
This

and This >>17595251

>>17595264
togtfu

A condom and a safety pin. She'll get the hint

>>17595200
This is why God created credit cards.

>>17595200
>what should i do bros?
Don't lie to your girlfriend to impress her, or better yet, just don't lie.
You should have been saving up a bit of money the months leading up to her birthday if you wanted to get her something nice.

If you need to gather some cash quickly consider selling some of the things you don't want anymore or even things you don't need.

Write her a really nice love letter detailing everything she means to you. Write a draft first to get the hang of what you want to say and cook her a nice meal (I'm assuming you already have food in your house to cook for her). Then do something she really enjoys with her that you wouldn't ordinarily agree to do.

Please don't lie to your girlfriend in the future, it's not a good idea for you or yourself and you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

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>>17595264
>t. femanon

>>17595200
That's what credit cards are for.

>>17595264
I agree with this, honestly. A movie is a mutual date and doesn't really give you much time to speak to each other, it's for cuddling and watching something passively which makes it a poor birthday activity. I wouldn't ever choose to watch a movie for my birthday and I wouldn't ever watch one for boyfriend's birthday unless he specifically requested it. I'd much rather go out for a walk somewhere gorgeous or do something fun and novel or that is special to me on my birthday or him on his. The rest of the date idea is good but movie+popcorn isn't fun and I don't think chocolate is in OP's budget at $4 unless we're talking a hershey bar.

>>17595231
This fuckin guy right here is going places

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Look for lists of things to do in your area. There's a park that used to be the private gardens of a very rich family years ago. Even though I don't live that far from it I went my whole life without knowing it existed until last year. Visited it and it was mind blowingly breathtaking. See what you can find in your area that doesn't require any money, just a drive out to get to it, and cook her a nice dinner as well.

Pic related, a small part of the park.

>>17595200
been here before bro.

I sold my gaming console, bunch of my games, and bought her something nice.

We didn't stay together, so of course I regret it now. But, pussy is pussy.

>>17595264
Women are broken. You cannot fix this level of entitlement.

You shouldn't have lied to her first, and you should sell something so you can buy her something, and if she really love you, just cook her a fancy breakfast, give her a plush or a ring and kiss her and she'll be happy

>>17595207
Too cliche, dont do it.

You need to get your priorities in order if you only have $4 to your name

>>17595200
Do you have a credit card?

>>17595230
That this is so inherently comical says quite a bit about gold diggers still being the norm.

>>17595200
Make her something with your own hands

women who expect expensive gifts expect it because they think they're better than you and deserve compensation

get something cheap but thoughtful that you think she'll like. if she's upset, congrats - you know she's trash. Act accordingly.

Fake a robbery in your home

>>17595200

family emergency bro.

be prepared to let that pussy go tho

>>17595200
Start a Kickstarter or Patreon

>flat broke the day before gf's birthday
>borrowed 2 bucks from friend for a heart-shaped balloon
>enact a little play that incorporated idioms with the word 'heart' in it
>she loved it

There is nothing like poverty to get your creative juices flowing.

>>17597804
>while fucking rich chad on the side

>>17597919

>what is projecting

Tell her you converted to Judaism and to consider the $4 dollars a loan.