How do I ask a girl out

>>17594988
Introduce yourself (if you don't know her).
Have some small talk.
Tell her you had fun and you would like to keep talking over a cup of coffee.

>>17594991
Yeah but how?

"Hi, I'm xx, nice to meet you"

wouldnt that creep them out?

>>17595008
"Hey, what's your name?"
"You take this train often?"
"I think you're really cute, can I have your number?"

It's funny, I see black guys do this (or worst) all the time in trains/buses and they most of the time get declined with "I have a boyfriend"

>>17595034
Is that so easy?

I have nothing to offer

>>17595049
Well I'm assuming you're attractive, if not, you'll have to do a lot more talking, make her laugh a lot.

>>17595008
Not necessarily.
If she's creeped out, she'll survive. I met a lot of creepy dudes and it didn't ruin my life.

>>17595059
I look fine, hygyenic, but my clothes are pretty meh and im poor lol. I often wear the same vest and jeans in the week, but I was them twice a day, so i think its okay

>>17595065
How would you like to get asked out? What does the guy need to do, I always think that the girls I see, are out of my league.

>>17595079
Wash*

>>17595079
Just smile, be nice and do not insist.
Talk to me before asking me out, ask me out for a coffee and give me the impression you're interested in knowing me as a person.

>>17595096
I could say I'm a very friendly person who is open for many things, I'm also very motivated and I would like to do more than going to school and back home. Sadly, I have no friends anymore. I would love to meet other persons, but thats another story.

Also I have the impression that the girls I see are not in a good mood mostly, Idk, i see it very often or sometimes they're in groups and thats why I'm afraid to talk

thanks a lot you helped me so much

Okay this anon has at least a train. Where girls will be alone and there's a set opportunity to talk to them if you're feeling brave.

But what do you do if there's no public transportation whatsoever?

anyone got some more tips?

"Either she's into it or she's not." Wait a solid 2 years on a girl. Hard feelings. But, I've finally reached that point: "I'm going to be man to woman from now on." Just wanted to share.

>>17595354
didnt need that but kay

>>17595196

Clubs, bars, parties - at least around here, those are the place people go to meet. You could also try hitting on somebody with who you share a hobby/class. I never really thought about getting dates at the bus, honestly.

>>17595349

Don't make a big deal out of it. You just trying to get to know somebody new. When in doubt, be funny, or try to - also, when you do ask them out, be specific about time and place: "We should go out sometime" is not the same as "I'm watching a movie on next Friday, wanna come?".

>>17595416
>Clubs, bars, parties
Okay so.. I absolutely hate these.

All of these. My personality is the complete opposite of what finds these things fun or even tolerable.

>>17595430
same

>>17595430
To the library nerd.

>>17595430
>>17595434

My knee-jerk reaction is to tell you guys to give it a chance - I much rather watch movies and be quiet at home most of the time, but I've come to like getting wasted and goofing around town from time to time.

Those aside, your best bet is trying new stuff and, you know, getting out of the house, you guys. Public transportation is actually filled with people too busy, tired or mad to care about your pickup lines; depending on what you like, you try hitting the movies, the library or some venue you've never been to.

Tinder worked pretty well for me, also.

>>17595460
Have you ever heard of that working?

People suggest this ALL THE TIME.

All the time. It's endured for years, being suggested.

If I were a young and naive once again, I'd assume it works. Because people keep suggesting it. I'd be very optimistic to get my driver's license, so I could start going there.

And I was young naive! And I did get my driver's license. And then I started going there.

...

Nobody.

Nothing.

The library is a dead zone for social activity. And it's a myth that just won't die. Just like the pay gap.

>>17595467
>Those aside, your best bet is trying new stuff and, you know, getting out of the house, you guys.
I don't mind leaving the house at all.

But if you put me around big speakers and alcohol, I will want to kill myself.

I hate loud and I hate obnoxious. That's all a social event has to avoid being to get me to be fine with it.

>>17595477

>big speakers and alcohol

Hm, shitty thing is, there's those in most event aimed at young people nowadays. Do you live near any colleges? Most places like snack bars near mine usually have cute girls going in and out all the time; you could try hanging around.

Also, online dating.

>>17595460
It's 2016. The people who go to libraries are hipsters and liberal arts students. They have social lives, and they make fun of asocial STEM-fag autists.

Source: Am hipster liberal arts (Hamburger technician/philosophy) student.

>>17595510
>Do you live near any colleges?
Just a community college.
So no, I don't.

>Also, online dating.
I just came from a thread about that.
Let's not even discuss it.
It is the worst way to set two people up ever.

I know it sounds like I'm just shooting down ideas left and right for the sport of it. But it really is that I've tried them all and they're terrible for unique reasons.

>>17595477

It might be different where you live, but in my city (not in US) there are plenty of "quiet" bars with quiet music and clientele. Volunteer to be a designated-driver for your friends to avoid just sitting there aimlessly and you're set for a night out. Not drinking in a bar is kinda weird, but it's certainly not a necessity these days.

I don't want to persuade you to do something you hate, but the harsh truth is that most people hook up in the nightlife these days, and the morning after decides if there's gonna be a relationship or nah.

I have introvert friends and we (extroverts mainly including me) take them out to one of these places from time to time so they can meet new people. If there was a better option, I'd recommend that, but there really isn't.

Libraries are cliché and finding love there is BS, people don't hang out in cafés without a purpose anymore, and the chances of not being shot down during a random sober conversation in public are extremely low, even if you look better than average. These are all bullshit myths and those who say otherwise are either the lucky ones in 1000, or have no idea about them in the first place. I know because I tried all that shit so I can find someone who's not only down to fuck, but also shares my interests. Museums? No pretty girl goes alone, and they're not looking for guys. Libraries? They're either there to borrow a book or read one. Cafés? They just want to have one in peace, etc.

Let's not even get started about shit like taking courses and attending hobby-specific meetups. No one I know attends those. If they do, it's because they're truly dedicated and they avoid talking to "casuals" because it is known that lots of socially retarded people take random classes to find someone.

>>17595571

Sorry to hear that. Only suggested online because it has been working decently for me, and I've been a social retard for most of my life.

I'm out ideas, but agree with >>17595611

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>>17595611
>Volunteer to be a designated-driver for your friends
>friends
I've got those.

Online.

>but the harsh truth is that most people hook up in the nightlife these days
Eh? Are there stats on this? Because in general, my generation has been getting the least sex (which basically means less dates; I'm not as concerned with just sex) ever. And I'd place bets that online dating has been a big contributor to this. Like I said, it's absolutely awful, and it has people crossing each other off before they even learn what's actually charming about one another.
>and the morning after decides if there's gonna be a relationship or nah.
..?

>Let's not even get started about shit like taking courses and attending hobby-specific meetups.
Oh thank FUCKING GOD someone else feels this way about it. I cannot tell you how often I've seen that one suggested. And I never tried it myself, but because I'd seen it suggested so often, that this:
>t's because they're truly dedicated and they avoid talking to "casuals" because it is known that lots of socially retarded people take random classes to find someone.
was the only logical conclusion.

I fucking hate that so many people suggest things they'll never, ever try themselves. Just passing it along the grapevine.

Is it just me, or do women absolutely despise being met? I'm getting more than sick of "It's acceptable if you're attractive and creepy if not."

>>17595664
>Is it just me, or do women absolutely despise being met?

In my experience, it all comes down to whether you can keep them entertained. The standard "Hi, I'm introducing myself" thing never really did it for me - it feels dry and empty.

Most of the time I just try to make them laugh from the get go, it makes things so much easier. I've dated a girl for months back in college that I've started talking with after our bus broke down for the second time in the same trip - I said something stupid out loud about it, she laughed and things went from there.

>>17595734
>I've dated a girl for months back in college that I've started talking with after our bus broke down for the second time in the same trip - I said something stupid out loud about it, she laughed and things went from there.
Yeah any success story I can imagine, hinges on the universe forcing a girl to be in the same situation as you for awhile, so you have SOMETHING to say about it.

And if you're not handed a scenario like that... You're fucked.

>>17595664

If you don't have any friends right now, your priority should be making some. At work or school preferably, as that's the easiest. Having a social circle is hard when you're older (18+) and you start from ground zero, but it's really important, no matter what you do.

Go through every single people you know, and consider checking up on them. An old friend, an acquittance, someone you like... Just start somewhere and don't give up. The older you get, the harder it is to place yourself in a social circle.

If you have no one to "depend on" right now, keep in mind that no matter who you are, you have to give up your comfort from time to time. I consider myself socially successful and I've put up with so much shit in my life for the sake of my friends that I can't even count. Shitty concerts, terrible bars, boring activities, meeting their friends whom I have no connection with...
If I'd want to simplify the whole thing, I'd say it's an exchange like any other: The product is friendship and bonding, and the price you pay is the temporary loss of comfort.

I'd tell you not to be afraid and just go out and have fun etc. but I know that's not how it works. You'll hate the places you go to, you'll hate some of the people you meet, you'll have to pretend having fun, and you'll fear rejection and making a fool of yourself. Just don't give up and adapt to others before trying to get them to adapt to you. That's all there is to it.


>Because in general, my generation has been getting the least sex (which basically means less dates; I'm not as concerned with just sex) ever. And I'd place bets that online dating has been a big contributor to this

Imo. that's because we (20-25) hang out at home more than the previous generations did. We were among the firsts to grow up with basically limitless indoors-entertainment. Online dating was always looked down upon until Tinder came along as far as I can remember. It was basically on the level of the courses we've mentioned.

>>17595756
I'm 29 years old. I went to community college, briefly, and I won't be returning to ANY college because I'm avoiding loans like the plague. I'm currently unemployed; Working on that but not having much luck. At all. I don't think I'll ever make a decent wage.

Also, Tinder is THE WORST. As one human being to another, I must request that you never suggest people use that.

>>17595756
cont.

>Is it just me, or do women absolutely despise being met? I'm getting more than sick of "It's acceptable if you're attractive and creepy if not."

They know if they look good. They know they're considered fuckable even if they're as plain as they come, just because they have a vagina. They get a lot more compliments and positive reassurance. They don't need strangers to come along and try get their number to feel attractive.

It's not the same for guys, because we usually don't get compliments, we have only a vague idea about what women like and don't like, so we're not sure of about our "value" as a potential hook up or boyfriend. We're fine with unattractive women trying to strike up a conversation, because it doesn't happen often, and we're just glad to be noticed.


Also "Imagine being harassed by people twice your size, clearly wanting to have sex with you" and shit. It can be scary to be a women I guess.

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>>17595798
>Also "Imagine being harassed by people twice your size, clearly wanting to have sex with you" and shit. It can be scary to be a women I guess.
Then they should be totally cool with me because I'm 5 foot fucking 7.

Best thing I can advise is get it into your head that even if they reject you, it's not like you're going to meet them ever again so why not take the chance?

>>17595807
>it's not like you're going to meet them ever again so why not take the chance?
... Ehhhhhhhh--

This has not been my experience. At all.

Maybe in big cities.

>>17595794

Tinder is great if you're a social person to begin with and you're not looking for anything serious. It's not a dating-app, it's for hookups and maybe some brief relationships, and most users know that. Those who don't, get burned. When you see a girl on Tinder, she's not out of the dating-game, she just signed up for the "meet-date-fuck, done in 2 months" game on the side. That's what Tinder is, a game, and the reward is sex.


As for your situation, I'd suggest working on being employable. Take courses (for the sake of knowledge and experience) and/or volunteer. Try and push up your value on the job market.

I know I said your priority should be making friends, but to be brutally honest, there's not much chance of building a social circle if you don't see people on a regular basis (colleagues, other students), especially not if you're not well-off.

Ask yourself if you'd want to be with an unemployed, 29 year old man with no friends and no succesful future ahead. The answer is most likely no. You have two choices from there: Be who you want to be and make the most out of your life, or give up and float alone, aimlessly.

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Read this before you do anything.

>>17595755

That example was more of an attempt to highlight how you can use a lot of things to start a conversation, if you have the right mindset.

Shit, even pickup lines work if you do them ironically. Just don't take yourself too seriously and be over the top. You wouldn't believe how a "How rude!" said playfully can be a good conversation starter.

>>17595830
>Tinder is great if you're a social person to begin with and you're not looking for anything serious
Well I never even got to that point to turn over a new leaf and/or discover the social butterfly I always was, because I was not getting any matches.

Any of my social fluency, or lack thereof, didn't even get to come out of the briefcase. No matches. This is quite a common thing from what I hear.

And it depressed the shit out of me. I wish I hadn't ever tried it. "Well what's the harm it giving it a try" Becoming extremely depressed after it doesn't work.

>Take courses
I have to state again that I am avoiding loans like the plague. I will not go into debt for any reason or I will buy a gun and then use it. I am keeping my eyes and ears open for the first possible alternative to taking out a loan.

If you insist on the loan, I insist we end this conversation.

>Ask yourself if you'd want to be with an unemployed, 29 year old man with no friends and no succesful future ahead.
Thing is, there is no chance of a person learning this about me from a first meeting. And that's all I'm really after right now. Just talking to people.

>>17595836
Yeah this seems like a fallacy a lot of people ignore.

There is a finite number of gossiping hens out there. And you do have something to lose by failing.

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>>17595836
Fuck.

>>17595879
Exactly, I don't want to dissuade OP but he has to be aware of that. Talk to girls but don't play this dangerous numbers game.

>>17594988
chances are if youre asking how she probably thinks youre ugly and out of her league. sorry. unless shes insecure.

>>17595935
The fuck?

>>17595954
i mean if youve never asked out a girl before and you dont know how its probably because you look and feel ugly.

>>17595963
Uh.

I'm not the OP.

But the reason I've never asked out a girl before is because there hasn't been any clear cut opportunity.

They don't travel alone.

>You need a girl to be alone to approach them?
I'm a beginner, so yes. And without public transportation, which the OP has at the very least, there's no opportunities whatsoever.

'Ugly' or not hasn't even become a factor yet.