Red flags

We should also have a list of "yellow flags"
Things that either used to be red flags but are now unavoidable, like posting a lot of selfies, or things that aren't necessarily bad but should be looked at, like being vegetarian.

>>17594885
the best teacher is your own experience so I don't see what happened as a complete waste of time. Now you know to pull the plug earlier

Lots of tattoos
Asks if she can smoke at your place
Wants to eat out a lot and doesn't fork up her share of the bill
Telling you to stop seeing your friends because she doesn't like them
Mood changes
Never in the mood for sex

Bad relationship with parents. Seriously. This one isn't always (usually?) the person's fault, but it's still a super reliable indicator that things are fucked up. Especially if things get serious, this is bad news--you marry the family.

>>17594885
>history of infidelity
>starts friendship by confiding in you with secrets that you aren't supposed to tell anyone
>looks down on other people
>attempts to isolate you from your friends so they can take all of your attention
>only helps others to make themselves look good

Girl here, my biggest red flag with guys is when they talk about how psycho their ex gf's were. Especially if there are multiple. Sure, there are crazy girls out there that do psychotic shit but most of the time from my experience, if a guy talks about how crazy his ex(es) was its because he wants to blame everyone but himself for a failed relationship.

>>17594885
>Bad relationship with parents
>Talks behind people's back
>"Oh my ex girlfriends were ALL crazy"
>Holds me to standards that he doesn't hold himself to
>Isolates me from friends and family
>"All women are whores but you and my mom"
>Gets angry easily
>Passive-aggressive
>Brings out things that happened decades ago during fights
>Lies
>Cannot take criticism
>Takes everything personally
>Belittles me to look better than me

>>17594903

That is true. It took me quite some time to figure this out. I recon though that there are some universal factors you can look for in a person that determine their intentions/''toxicity". Hence this thread.

It wasn't a waste of time, I had fun. But it is a bummer that something so sweet in the beginning turns out to be bitter.

>>17594896

No one I know posts a lot of selfies, apart form her. To me it is an indication that the world only revolved around her. Hence she puts herself in the focus, and not her+friends/family and whatnot. => Egocentric behaviour, which was what she displayed.

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>>17594885
>not pretty

A biggest red flag for me is
>he has a girlfriend\wife
I don't understand why I keep meeting guys who are friendly at first but then they suddenly have feelings to me. What the fuck, I thought you are already filled your romantic needs, you already have a girl, stop messing with me!

>>17594885
>unnatural colour dyed hair (pink/green)
>overweight (mental health issues)
>tattoos
>bad parental relations
>no college education
>obsessed with social media
>poor verbal filter
>does drugs
>no friends

>>17594915
I have a bad relationship with my family but I cut them out years ago, is that still a red flag?

>>17594885
I'm a woman, so my red flags in guys are

- Any sort of controlling behaviour
- Any history of criminal behaviour
- Mental illness
(i know these should be common, but you guys won't believe how people can hide their issues for the first few months before turning into someone else)
- Children (just can't handle the extra burden.)
- Bad family life
- No education past high school
- Uses "XD"
- Has no life/social skills (can't cook or clean, doesn't know survival skills etc.)

I expect my partner to be able to do things that I can... and i'm sorry but if your boyfriend has no idea how to build a fire or how to swim you need to leave him

>>17594997

>- Uses "XD"

What is wrong with this ?

>>17595002
It's proven by science that anyone who uses XD has autism and is 12 years old

>>17595006

Doesn't make any sense.

>>17594930
These are all me except for the 3rd one, because I've never had a girlfriend.

>>17595023
Unless you're on gaiaonline use emojis like a normal person... :), :(, :/ and :p are acceptable though.

>>17595035
I guess it's for the best.

>>17595041
What about :ь?

>>17595041

"XD" is normal emoji....

>>17595048
Not really.
XD makes you look 15. That and those japanese emojis like (;¬＿¬).
Makes me cringe so hard.

In general, using emoticons a lot is a turn off. You can express yourself properly through text only.

>>17595056

Yes it is. If you don't find it normal that is your view. You can't express
emotion so easily trough text. Problem is not in emoticons problem starts when people use it disingenuously.

So even writing something like haha makes you cringe ?

>>17595041
>>17595048
>>17595056
>emoji
Those are emoticons
Emoji (絵文字) are the symbols that are actually pictures (lit translation: picture character)

:-) not emoji
<3 not emoji
(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀) not emoji

>>17595080

Good to know.

>>17595080
Yeah. Right.
Thanks.

>>17595074
I am not saying I'm the judge of good and bad taste. Of course it is my view.
I find it offputting and cringey, you can like it as much as you want.
It makes me think that you have poor writing skills, if you need to use them a lot, tho.

Also - literally no one I know uses them (unironically). When someone uses them consistently, it makes me feel like I'm talking to a prepubescent girl.

Haha is not as bad. Rotfl/lol is a bit.

>>17594997
Cooking and cleaning I get. But unless you are going on a wild safari or camping I dont see the issue of not being able to swim or build a fire.

There's this girl on our kickball team who is full of red flags.

1. Always bending over when standing directly in front of guys - not in the field to catch a ball but by our area waiting to kick. Any guy. Super slow and overall sexual.

2. Always putting her belonging on top of a guy's belongings even when they have girlfriends. She does it to get them to flirt.

3. Straining her extroversion so nobody can ignore her. Obnoxiously loud and opinionated. Literally wants to be the center of attention in the middle of the game by asking to be pitcher and failing so miserably that the captain had her go back.

4. Shitty home dyed red hair with roots growing out. If you have to dye it at least keep up with it.

5. When game ends tells the group of men that she cant stay because she has to take a long hot shower - she knows what she's doing being giggly and flirtatious about it.


Also has a boyfriend away on business but you'd never know given the way she behaves.

Girls like this are the worst.

>>17595092

Well I guess you just not open minded.

>>17595140
I guess you are just not particularly intelligent.

>>17595153

Good prove my point

>>17594986
If you recognized that your family was bad and you were smart enough to cut them out of your life instead of putting up with abuse and bullshit, I see this as a green flag.
Good for you anon.

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>>17594997
>- Has no life/social skills (can't cook or clean, doesn't know survival skills etc.)
I don't hit any of your red flags except perhaps this
I have basic social skills, can cook simplest food and it is self evident that any survival skills I lack are trivial and can be learnt from google ( which is possible since I have planning skill) and also I have many other esoteric skills for example recognizing knots XD

For me, red flags would be
>not pretty
>too fat (like twice my weight)
>hate pranks, jokes
>impatience
>lazy
>masturbate twice a day or more
>show no interest in nonlinear optimization (this just means if she doesn't know and I explain it she should appreciate it)
>show no interest in multi scale analysis (same as above)
>complain when accompany me to conferences, awards,..
>try to embarrass me in front of my friends
>jealous of my sister

>>17595340

Im sure you're good at sublinear optimaziation :^)

That reminds me of another red flag:
>Showing off of any kind

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>>17594885
anything that warrants a need for extreme attention
-tattoos
-smoking
-tons of explicit photos on social media
-hooks up with tons of guys
-gets mad at you for being with a friend'-can't get off the damn phone
-rich AND spoiled (these don't always go hand in hand, i know alot of nice rich people)
-won't listen when you try to speak or take your criticism

Anybody who would put together one of these stupid lists is a prejudiced tightass.

>oh you're an interesting person and I'm feeling a connection, let me run through my checklist
fuck off

>>17595489

/thread

>>17595489
If you have any level of experience in relationships you know that being interesting and feeling a connection isn't enough to have a good relationship.

>>17595489
I'm sure I'm not the only one taking the piss in this thread
Also as a general guideline, lists like this can be handy when you are in doubt of your relationship. If everything is going smooth then there's no reason to use it.

>>17595503
You're really missing the point, shit for brains.

People who go by their "experience" to write people off, as in "my last girlfriend had a tattoo and it didn't work out, so now tattoos are one of my RED FLAGS", are just prejudiced.

There is more to people than just superficial characteristics, and that's all these lists are.

>>17595518
If things aren't going smoothly, you identify the reason it's like that and address the specific problem.

You don't go to your fucking list and say "well we're having intimacy problems, but also he's bad at tying his shoelaces, and that's on my list so I guess I have to take that into account".

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>>17595519
Superficial characteristics are the basis on which we judge people because time has proven that the way you dress or choose to appear says a lot about your personality

Let's make an example out of this. If you saw a girl wearing a black skirt, striped black and purple stockings and a misfits t-shirt, wouldn't you automatically make the assumption that she's into alternative things and/or is weird?

>>17595519
A red flag is a behaviour that makes you be more cautious, a warning signal.
Of course there is more to people than superficial characteristic. I don't think anybody would dump someone because they show one "red flag".

But, for example, in my experience people who talk shit of all their exes are pieces of shit. If someone new does that, I usually try to understand if he genuinely had a lot of bad luck or if there's something off about them.

>>17595542
There's a difference between making assumptions about someone's taste by the way they dress, and making judgements about someone's personality based on their taste.

>>17595541
>You don't go to your fucking list and say "well we're having intimacy problems, but also he's bad at tying his shoelaces, and that's on my list so I guess I have to take that into account".
wait that doesn't help ? like "so, we are having some conflicts. let's look at that (huge) list of red flags I wrote down some time ago to see if the source of this conflict comes from this list"
just so we're clear, are you a guy or a girl since most of the red flags here are for girls, i.e. hilarity ensues.

>>17595563
If a person I was dating happened to have a huge list of red flags which they consulted whenever we were having problems, I would consider that bizarre.

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>>17595561
This is true, but based on those assumptions and judgement, you gain insight as to whether or not you want to pursue them.

Experience will always be the best teacher. However, taste and personality are linked to some degree, you'll notice tastes conflict with one another in some cases and they may also be linked to the kind of personality behind the taste.

More examples (none of which are totally absolute, I say this with knowing that greater than 50% of people i've met are like this, take it with a grain of salt)

People who are on social media all day, have terrible social skills

Girls who dress like prostitutes either want attention or sleep around a lot.

see where i'm going with this?

>>17595579
well our memory is limited, sometimes we need to rely on an external memory: a book, a computer, a list,.. to perform more complex tasks. Troubleshooting a relationship is relatively complex. You know before they invent books method of Loci was very popular, I guess you could use that too.

>>17595593
>see where i'm going with this?
Yeah, you're a tightass.

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>>17595615
Weak response, you could do better.

If you're going to call names, at least have evidence of why.

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>>17595593
>gives non-absolute examples
>Tries to reason with examples
>has a decent argument
>>17595615
>you're STUUUPPIIID because I disagree with you.

Go home, you're drunk

From my most recent experience

>didn't kiss me during sex
>loved getting eaten out but wouldn't return the favor
>got jealous over the pettiest of things (told me she got mad at her ex for shaking a girls hand for goodness sake)
>jumped to conclusions and threw tantrums when she wouldn't get her way.

She was 25. Couldn't think it was possible to deal with such a child for 1month.

You've never heard of a girl being "basic?"
An example of this is the female that can't do anything by herself. She must always travel in a pack so she can adopt other peoples' interests as her own. Your lipstick outdoorsy types fall into this category.

Cat ladies rarely have a true personality. Hence why they surround themselves with creatures who can't judge them for it.

Examples in a girl's hobbies
>photography
>drawing
>tumblr
>history
>dancing
>partying
>shopping

>>17595048

I agree with the other poster, it's really obnoxious when men use emojis and things like "XD" or whatever. It's tough to put my finger on it exactly, but when straight guys try to act "cute and cuddly" like that, it's just catastrophically unappealing. Don't advertise your weakness and softness like they're positive traits

>>17595629
>>17595644
I don't want to argue this shit anymore. Point is, you people with your lists are a total fucking drag and nobody wants to fuck you.

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>>17595676
how many red flags did you hit ITT kek
here's one more

>>17595699
Yeah this /pol/ image totally proves that you are a stable and decent person, and everybody should try to live up to your standards.

It's almost like YOU'RE the kind of person that the rest of us try to avoid.

Also, I'm a dude, since you seem to care so much about that.

>>17595704
what does your gender have to do with this ? you are just bad at reasoning and angry at everyone else

>>17595674
Not that guy, but What about sending a girl a smiley face or sunglass emoji?
That's more on the normie scale right?

>>17595714
And you're a dirtbag.

>>17595731
rude

>>17595674

It is more obnoxious to assume about people when you don't even know them. Like thinking someone is weak because he uses it. There is nothing cute about it is there to make texting
a lot more efficient.

>>17594917
Yeah thats a big one. I cringe a little when someone complains how their ex was a bitch or psyco

>>17594997
>>17595048
>>17595056
>>17595074
>>17595113

Seems like my post caused a bit of a stir..
Listen, I'm a 21 year old woman okay, yeah when I was 11 and first discovered the internet and played habbo hotel I loved using XD and -_-" etc but I seriously do think it's a thing you retire after a certain point. It's just unprofessional and when I'm getting to know someone and they're using the faces in a non joking way, it's a huge turn off.

Also to the person who said that building a fire isn't necessary, it's a really important skill that you really never know when you might have to use... I work in the flights industry so I had to learn. It's just weird if my boyfriend didn't know any basic survival skills.

Not letting you have female friends

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"Hey Cutie XD"

>>17595776
>Seems like my post caused a bit of a stir..
just people taking the piss, what a scandal lol

Hello, second time posting here. I have something to say,and I hope it helps you all out.

I am in a relationship with a woman that is,by my definition,insane. I would spend time writing all the red flags I've received over the years...but I won't.

Instead I'll post some information you might find useful. What is a red flag for some people,might be considered normal for others.

To the anon that thinks using emoticons is a red flag,...obviously a personal preference more than a red flag...obvious right?

There are things that some consider accepted and others not so much. What matters most is what matters to you. If you are in fact lucky enough to find someone that wants to be with you,sometimes concessions are in order,ex; what you can live with and what you can't...

My girlfriend is easily angered,over emotional, out of shape(fat) and hypocritical,but I love her for who she is.

I accept the fact that everyone has problems. I myself have my fair share of red flags. I thank God every day that she can look past them.
I think I've ranted enough. Being fresh from a crazy argument,I felt it was needed. I hope all of you the best of luck in relationships.

>>17595821

Exactly people state some minor shit as red flags. Red flags are something we can all agree on.

Guy here. Red flag for me dating wise is when I'll say something and instead of asking all offended they'll freak the fuck out and demand that I explain what I just said. Because of that, I run far and shit right there if it happens too much to soon.

>>17595821
You sound like your not exactly a looker yourself and took what you could get.
Thanks for your blog though.

Red flags from a girls point of view.

>Only child

This is the one that speaks to me the most. Dated two guys long term who were only children. Selfish and prone to mother issues.

Not saying all only child guys are the same.

>>17595883
no anon they are

>>17595854

Maybe you're just bad at expressing yourself clearly? Because I had to read this post like 4 times to understand what you're trying to say, and I'm still not sure I get what you're talking about

>>17595883
Male here.
One of my close friends is an only child, and he's stupidly selfish.

>>17595883
>This is a red flag
>but only sometimes
Why do some women do that, say or write something with confidence or like it's an absolute then back down seconds later? That seems like a red flag to me.

>>17595920
>What is a red flag?
A red flag is a warning sign.
>Is it a deal breaker?
No, it is just something that warns us about a possible deal breaker.

So being more cautious with an only child while not thinking that all only children are assholes is the normal thing to do.

>>17595920

That's not really backing down. She's saying that she's noticed a pattern of bad behavior in her own experiences with "only children," but she's still open to the possibility that exceptions exist.

That's kind of the golden rule when it comes to generalizations and stereotypes. You can observe trends and patterns in groups of people, but there are always going to be people within that group that don't follow the trend.

>>17595933
Then she should have wrote something like, "this is something I've noticed in most only children thus far". Instead she made a conclusion, then said "sometimes" later in the next sentence. She made a conclusion then kinda back downed, it seems indecisive.

>>17595883
yes, selfish and mother issues are red flags, but only child?
the guy obviously has and had no control over that.

Other than the completely obvious...

>Single mothers
>Frequent contact and/or closeness with exes
>Making new male "friends"
>Broke up with someone to be with me
>Always "needs" something
>Can't keep own home clean at all

>does drugs to maintain throughout the week
>complains daily about being "victimized" in some fashion
>claims they are broke yet constantly party with friends, drives a new car, etc
>doesn't say thank you or please to waitstaff
>never asks how I am doing

>>17596009
>those first two

It sucks cuz I know a girl like that.
Single mom, but still lives with the ex.

I just want to fuck her though

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>>17595776
>okay, yeah

>>17596009
>>making new male "friends"
This one just makes you look like a creep, but the rest is pretty solid.

personal red flags
<talks about partying\going out all of the time
<rotating friends seeing strangers she knows but never seeing her real friends
<into drug use
<married at an early age
<takes advantage of others hates being inconvenienced
<enjoys being confronting to others except the other way around

self recognized red flags
<avpd (mental illness)
<socially awkward
<can't stare into other people's eyes
<quiet talker
<nearly broke

Just general ones
>doesnt want to reach compromise
>insecure about her body
>expects sexual favors but doesnt return them (loves being eaten out but refuses to give blowjob)
>doesnt know how to cook
>slutty friends
>wants the same things as her friends have
>bad/no relationship with father
>abused in childhood
>thinks that men have to always initiate courting

>>17596500
>quiet talker
What?

>>17594917
That's a really good point. Guy here.

To this >>17594916 I have to ask, what kind of secrets do you mean? I've had several girls confide rape to me but honestly it never bothered me, besides me being angry it happened to them. It's really hard to correctly assume someone is lying or being dramatic. Men don't really know how women have it.

>>17594981
Oh fuck but I don't even understand why I have no friends wat do advicechica

>>17595340
>too fat (like twice my weight)

What's cool? Like half again as much? I'm kinda seeing a girl who's big and I don't know whether or not to be embarrassed.

>>17597343
talking at a low volume, I guess.

This may be meaningless but if it helps just 1 person that'd be cool.

I had a gf who'd text me saying that I was being quiet. The thing is I wasn't, I just had nothing to say or talk about at the time.

This is a massive red flag. It indicates she's one of those needy girls that needs almost constant attention. I messaged her back once saying that conversation is a 2 way street and that by the same token she was being quiet as well. She flipped asking why I was looking for an argument, even though she was the instigator. It takes 2 to tango yet I'm the only one who can be at fault? How about you message me, bitch.

At the time I shrugged it off. Now I realise she was just starved for any kind of mindless attention of the sort I'm not interested in. My phone had a screen burn-in from WhatsApp from messaging her so much, the constant need to message her even when I had nothing to say was maddening.

Girls who want to text non-stop will always raise red flags for me.

>>17597646
Yeah, but who is that a red flag?

>>17597740
Holy shit man thats exactly what I'm dealing with. This girl I like constantly texts me and doesn't wait for me to text first but i waste so much time it's unbelievable. What's worse is that she texts me and expects me to hold the conversation while she replies with emojis or 1 word only and I have to spend 5 mins thinking about what to ask her next. She always asks what I'm thinking about but desu this made me more talkative which is good. But the problem is that I don't have the time to deal with her need for attention since I'm going through an important stage of my life.

>>17597781
>she replies with emojis or 1 word only

Holy shit yes, this as well. Her replies were shit while mine were well thought out and funny. It makes you feel like you're just there to entertain her.

Meaningful conversations were fleeting at best.

Man, its a shit situation. She dumped me but I saw it coming, the conversation dried up because I slowly started putting less effort into them. I just felt burnt out conversation wise, I was forcing myself to message her menial shit like "wish you were here" and "what are you doing" which is as shit as conversation can get. It really sucks because other than that things were good.

What are you going to do? It really is tough to keep that shit up, I tried my best but it defeated me.

>>17597343
exactly
our conversations always go like that

>>17597788
It's exactly the same to me. I like her a lot everything's great but she's acting too childish and I found out that she is still texting and sending selfies to her ex. Also i was told that she's meeting a guy who she met on Facebook. She won't cheat on me and this guy is just a friend to her but I don't understand why she's in this constant need of attention. I told her I can't keep focusing on her since I'm going to university in another country and I really want to perform well so i can provide for her and myself. I basically told her via messenger(didnt have chance to meet her in person at the time) I won't have the time to chat with her for 3 months(until i come back for Christmas holidays) and she just said "bye". I keep blaming myself because i told her i will always be here when she needs me and now im breaking my promise.

>>17594885

>being a slut

>>17597840

You don't understand women. She is very likely to cheat on you. She just needs the right guy to approach.

reddit.com/r/theredpill is a great resource for you

>>17597839
Fucking kek

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>>17597840
I don't know where to start with that my friend, it's funny though because I'm 99% my girl cheated on me, she was officially with a new guy 2 weeks after we broke up. I know they were speaking at the end of our relationship, maybe for the full duration, who knows. All I know for certain is that she dumped me with a ready and willing replacement in line, no remorse, no guilt, no shame. She just moved straight on from one guy to another without batting an eyelid.

Oh, and she ended the thing via text as well, sorta ironic I guess.

The whole thing kinda broke me in all honesty, still trying to get past it. Not get over her, but rather the situations she put me though and the mental state it has left me in.

I think it's funny how both these girls need constant messages and seem to have no qualms about shamelessly meeting/speaking with other potential suitors. My best friends a girl and I only saw her twice and barely spoke to her when I was in a relationship, and it sorta crushed me. My gf HATED that I had a female friend, so I completely shelved that shit. Yet I had no issues with her going out drinking in clubs with big groups of men and women, and we all know how women get treated in clubs. I never one had a single issue with it and would even encourage her to go if she wasn't too sure about it. But if I wanted to go see my friend to get pizza and play vidya she'd freak.

I tell you all this because I see a lot of similarities and in all honesty it's a shared immature mindset that certain women seem to have, The need for constant attention and validation paired with a flagrant disregard for other peoples thoughts and feelings; a complete lack of empathy. All this despite seeming like the sweetest thing in the world.

Going to Uni abroad might have actually saved you some heartache man, I know you probably don't wanna hear this but you're probably better moving on and finding something better.

>>17597863
>My best friends a girl and I only saw her twice and barely spoke to her when I was in a relationship, and it sorta crushed me. My gf HATED that I had a female friend, so I completely shelved that shit. Yet I had no issues with her going out drinking in clubs
so you were a beta-numale.
tough shit, you got what you deserved. never ditch friends for a relationship.

>>17594997
Guy here. I get mostly all of these, but the two that make me raise eyebrows are the first and third. I get what you *mean* by #3 but for clarification do you mean any mental issue at all or just like full-on pants-shittingly-crazy behavior?

And when you say 'controlling' I hope to god, for your and all your future SOs' sakes, that you mean actual controlling and not "stop hanging around with the guy who's trying to fuck you and baiting him".

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>>17597883
>buzzwords

Come on anon, why bother. You're not wrong, but I think the fact I'm not a nu-male contributed to me getting dumped. Her Corbyn supporting friend did not take kindly to me voting for Brexit and 'liking racist shit on facebook'.

Whatever, fucking normies.

>>17597863
I have accepted that our relationship won't work but i will meet her during the holidays if she wants. Maybe she will be more mature then.

Anyway what I learned is that you shouldn't contribute more to the relationship than she does. In the beginning I thought if I listen to her and do what she wants she wants then she will do the same for me later. It doesn't work like that. Don't do more for her than she does for you. Also don't ditch your friends for her. Treat her the way she treats you and if she doesn't do that then you're probably better off without her.

>>17594885
Red flags:
Eats human flesh
Praises Cthulhu
Tortures animals
Plays Farmville
Votes for Trump
Is black/pro-BLM

>>17594905
>Lots of tattoos

Seems like you're just lumping that in with the rest because you got burned by someone with tattoos

>>17594915
Fuck you

Just because someone has a shitbag for a mother or father doesn't mean they can't be a good person.

Fuck off, seriously.

Marry the family? Bullshit.

>>17597948
Confirmed

>>17597953
People from shit families tend to be shit.
Sure, not ALL of them, but if you never got a decent example in your whole life it's hard to be a decent person.

>>17597963
Are you kidding?

I can find you plenty of dysfunctional shit cunts from good house/parents for every fucked up person with fucked up parents

>>17597436
Google trust bombing, it's a narcissistic tactic.

>>17597971
No, statistics show that pretty clearly.
For example if your parents divorce, you're more likely to divorce. If your parents abused you, you're more likely to be abusive.
Growing up in a shit environment affects your life. Saying it doesn't is being blind.
It doesn't mean that you're doomed to be a piece of shit if you grew up with shit parents, but there are higher chances that you have something off with you.

>>17597940
That's good to hear man, you seem to be handling it well so kudos to you - and hopefully things improve, as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I'll be frank, my life is a complete mess and for the last few years I've been depressed. It actually only just dawned on me a few months that I was depressed, as stupid as it sounds. Since 2012 I'd lived a complete non-existence and exiled myself away from pretty much everything and everyone. To the point where I actually moved away to another country where I had no friends. it was legitimate fucking exile, and I still don't understand what possessed me to do it other than perhaps a fear of growing up and wanting to run away from my problems.

I used to actually be someone, I used to do stuff, and here I am in my mid 20's going nowhere. So when I met a girl who put those flaws aside and seemed to love me for who I was, I was happy to drop everything. Those few months we were together can only be characterised by the feeling of happiness. Not only did I stop seeing my friend often, I also cancelled plans to work abroad where my dad lives for the summer, so not only did I ditch my friend, I ditched my fucking dad. I lost my common sense and usual rational thinking because for once everything seemed to be going well.

Any abuse I get is deserved, just like the guy calling me a beta. I made some really short sighted decisions. At the same time though, I'd do it all again.

>>17597982
>Makes claim of stats without sources

>>17597953
>Marry the family? Bullshit.
No, it isn't. You marry that person and you are absolutely inheriting all of their family drama and bullshit.

>>17597953
>Just because someone has a shitbag for a mother or father doesn't mean they can't be a good person.
Of course they can but that experience will reset their expectation of normality. Some people overcome that and set it back, many don't.

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>For example if your parents divorce, you're more likely to divorce. If your parents abused you, you're more likely to be abusive.

Interesting, from the people I know, the next generation of a dysfunctional family usually swings wildly to the opposite way, it's kinda funny, as this woman I know, her parents were super strict and controlling and she resented them for that, and then she gave her daughter a lot of liberty, freedom to choose what she likes. last Saturday I was fucking the 18 yo daughter's brains out in her room while downstair her mother was hollering something about whether we want some pancakes, pretty sweet tbehonest

>>17598005
I haven't been in your position so I can't help you with your problems but you should think about this:Find what you want to achieve in life and work towards that. Find a hobby or activity that distracts you from your problems and worries. My friends helped me a lot and I was able to move on thanks to them. Try to make new friends, join clubs, go to events, meet new girls via Facebook and so on. Just continue with your life and don't wait for a girl to come and make your situation better. You have to do it yourself. Focus on what really matters to you.

>>17598030
No, if the family is nuts, very often they will have nothing to do with their nuts family.

No family inherited

>>17598030
>Some people do, many don't

Shit argument

>>17598030
Why are you so deadset in applying your generalization?

Red flags seldom works as a "bad person indicator" on their own, you have to put them in relation to all the other shit that's going on in that specific relationship and have a nuanced mindset. Failure to do so indicate one of those rare examples where a single red flag actually works on it's own tho....

But with that in mind, generally, any adult man (i'm speaking as a straight girl) that doesn't take care of himself, his houshold and his pets, doesn't know basic shit such as cooking, cleaning, bying groceries and is ALSO unwilling to learn these things is a huge red flag for me. Like they aren't even willing to try and put two and two together just out of sheer laziness. Personal prefference about living standards is one thing, but when you're risking the health of your family members, yourself and your pets it's a deal breaker. Basically, don't live in a fucking pig sty, no girl wants to be there (unless she is of course also a pig, then i wish you good luck together).

Also, manipulative behaviour (obviously)
>"all my ex's were crazy, but you don't seem to be!"
>"ur not like other grils"
>constant passive aggressiveness
>yelling is part of normal speech
>"But i would never hit u!" after insinuating physical violence being an answer to certain things you do
>void of empathy
>only expresses sympathy when he can get good boy points for it/for personal gain
>putting down others is way of complimenting you
>narcissistic as fuck
If this shit is consistent throughout his personality, outward behaviour and treatment of others, it's time to run. And no, you can't save him or make him a better person.

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>>17598079
Thank you, anon. I needed to hear that. You're right.

It's been almost 2 months since she left me and I still think about it each day. As said before, less about her, and more about the connotations. About the fact my whole summer (almost year) went out the window after just one simple text message. Months of emotional investment cast aside, leaving just a lingering feeling of betrayal.

The last sentence of the last ever text she sent me was:
>"but it was nice meeting you and going out and that though".

Think about that for a moment, re-read it. The last words I'll ever hear from her are so backhanded it hurts. To think what was one of the happier periods of my life can be distilled into that sentence makes me feel physically ill, and reminds me of how duplicitous people can be.

I've matched with a couple qts on tinder, here's hoping.

>>17598121
>>"all my ex's were crazy, but you don't seem to be!"
>>"ur not like other grils"
That's me lol, i hope my gf doesn't have the same list

>>17598153
If ALL your exes were crazy, the common denominator is you.

>>17597953
You talk like you're from tumblr, so I didn't really read your post. Here's a reply.

>says sex is a great way to get to know someone
>heavily flakes and doesn't respond to messages
>only does things when convenient for her
>used heroin

>>17598199
Depends on how many exes he's had. If it's just one or two, he may just be unlucky.

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>>17598199
yeah, I know, I know...there are a lot of things I shouldn't have done to trigger them

>>17598199
#rekt

>>17597952
Not him but tattoos are indeed a big red flag.

>>17595676
Can't handle the bantz
Lol what a faggot

The gf of a friend of mine shows a lot of those redflag, and i don't know what to do about it (make him notice them).
What should i do?

>>17598971

Nothing it is not your problem. Don't interfere otherwise you will be blamed when shit goes down.

>>17597436
Omg thank you for getting angry that rape happened to those girls. Seriously. You're a good person and I hope nothing but good stuff happens to you for a while.

>>17598980
Yeah, you're right.
The thing is that the girls talks alot with me, problem about the relation and stuff like that and i really feel bad for him (the girl is the classic muh insecurities, gelosy, clingy, i-don't-want-to-bother-him)

>>17597755
I've had a girl tell me it's a deal breaker for her, she was openly annoyed at how low I talked but to me talking at a normal volume It literally feels like I'm yelling do I threw that in there (as in a low confidence)

>>17598997

All you can do is listen but don't give advice or anything not
even your opinion.

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>being picky about women
Looks like those v-cards aren't going anywhere soon.

avoid redheads whenever possible

they will treat you like trash

Men with long hair is on the same level of a red flag as women with dyed hair, the few it actually suits can be great and normal people but the majority it's just a red flag

>>17595665
Just because it's not interesting to you doesn't mean it's not a valid hobby

>>17599269

Redhead(s) are great from my experiance

>>17599352
>tumblr
>shopping
These are not hobbies, or at least not healthy ones. The rest can be argued for to varying degrees, so I'll leave them alone.

>>17599253
Don't stick your dick in crazy anon, trust me.

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>>17598121
You sound like my ex. Only more articulated.
Thing that broke it for me was the pet, she policed me in the ways of taking care of a cute rabbit but she just used it as a selfie prop.

I'm almost scared she secretly visited this mongolian chop squad club.

>>17597448
If you can't carry her or drag her out of a burning building, she too fat for you

>>17597840
Sorry dude, maybe I don't understand the gravity of your situation here... but if someone I was seeing told me we couldn't talk for 3 months I would get on the defensive too. In fact, it would make me paranoid and want to forget all about you. That's not a relationship at all.

>>17599938
I'll have to try and pick her up next time we knock love handles

>>17599363
I've done it, and it was pretty bad, but would I do it again to get out of a dry spell? Well, idk, it was pretty fucking bad, but when a chick is successfully hiding it, it sure is hard to say no to a bone.