I am a newfag on Tinder. I have some questions about the app.

Hah. I had it for two months and got three matches, none of whom ever responded.
Fml

1. I think so but I've never hit the limit and I swipe pretty much all the time.
2-3. Tap the person icon in the top left on the frirst page of the app the tap the pencil next to your profile. That should take you straight to the edit.
4. Just tap the profile instead of swiping it then swipe through the photos and scoll down to see the bio.
5. A couple of girls I've talked to on timder have said that they've had guys try to rape them. Just be clear that you don't wanna fuck them before meeting up and meet in a public place the first time. You'll probably get shit for this but people are just assholes sometimes.

>>17594417
It really is one of the worst things to ever catch on.

I despise what happens in my brain as I'm using it.

It's acclimating us to treating people shittily.

>>17594418
Should I state that I am not looking for hookups in the bio section?

>>17594456
What ARE you looking for?

>>17594476
something more serious

>>17594477
Are you just trying to secure an eventual husband or...

>>17594481
This. Whats wrong with it?

>>17594493
Ah.

>Whats wrong with it
The marriage part.

What do you do? Or plan to do.

>>17594498
I mean I am just looking for something more long term than short term

>>17594502
I think a big issue is that a lot of the more worthwhile guys don't think they're going to find a non-hookup kind of girl on tinder.

Like, I don't imagine I'm going to meet a girl on tinder, willing to be there with me through the dark ages of my financial existence.

I guess I'm just sorta advising against tinder and online dating in general. It makes us extremely shallow.

>>17594508
So should I not use Tinder? Or post that I am looking for something more serious there?

>>17594518
Just use it. What's the worst that can happen? You're sure to meet some interesting guys. Just don't put out on the first date.

And don't put "I'm not looking for hookups" on your bio please. Over half of the girls have that. And they never mean it. Nobody will believe you if you write that you want serious only, not hookups. Instead, say nothing about that, only that you are looking for a nice bf or something like that.

Go on dates, have fun. Just follow the guideline of, no sex until the third date, and you will be fine.

>>17594518
I really don't know, because I don't know you specifically. But I have only known tinder to work as a one night stand app for the 8s, 9s and 10s of our society.

Do you wanna talk about this in email, or a messenger of some kind? I think I could be more helpful there.

>>17594526
Yeah sure. Leave your spam email address here

I installed it after my 3 year relationship broke apart to get back into the date, mostly use it to get comfortable talking to women again in a flirty way and it helped me IRL too. Just learning how to make bantz, I mean.

Going out with a pretty hot 8/10 (in the pics) girl soon and we'll see what comes of it.

I would recommend using it just for practice since its semi anonymous and harmless.

>>17594538

I would also like to add it helped with my confidence a lot since when you see what caliber of girls show interest in you really get some perspective that yes - that hot girl you'd be afraid of - she is well within your league.

>>17594534
[email protected]

>>17594538
>>17594544
Alright, stop.
Notice the way you're talking about it.
>Going out with a pretty hot 8/10 (in the pics) girl soon and we'll see what comes of it.

You're going out with her because she's hot. You don't see how this is extremely depressing?

>I would recommend using it just for practice
Well I wouldn't, because you need to get matches for any conversation to happen. And during my entire time using it, I got one match.

If you're happy because you use it, I guess good for you. But to be honest, I absolutely hate your solution.

>>17594544
Show me your profile. I wanna know what actually gets matches.

>>17594567
You sound really bitter my friend maybe that is your issue.

I'm not some type of guy that bangs girls on the reg over tinder I started using it two weeks ago, the way I see it, it helped me restore my shattered confidence after my girlfriend broke up with me and I'm feeling better than ever.

Never will I think of it as a permanent solution.

>>17594572

I don't want to post my face on the chans, you know. All my pics have me smiling, one pic meditating underwater taken by a gopro, one pic with friends watching the sunset at sea, and 3 pics of my face (one being at the dentist).

My description is
"let's go somewhere but right now"

What do you want to know?

>>17594567
That's stupid i always hit like for every match without looking except when im looking to give the super like but thats it really, its not like i get that many matches and if i get a match i dont like i dont start a conversation thats pretty much it

>>17594583
Well I wanted to see the fucking pictures because that's the only thing that matters.

>>17594585
>its not like i get that many matches
Well for me, it's like. I got one match. Ever.

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>>17594591
Here's my profile, I get a match every 10 girls or so, but I am picky, too

>>17594600
I'm not that attractive.
Tinder is useless to me.

>>17594604
So take some good pictures and learn to chat, what's hard about that?

I've had tinder for three days and got three matches so far. Try using another app called happn. I met a really cute azn girl and we're going out this Friday.

>>17594608
>good pictures
What? I said I'm not that attractive.
>learn to chat
This is only applicable after I get a match.

>>17594620
I will guarantee you there are women out there that think you are good looking, unless you are horribly disfigured. Post your pics fgt

>>17594630
Okay.

So there are women out there that think I'm good looking.

So what? Fat lot of good it does me when courtship is broken the way it is. Tinder was a waste of time.

OP here. Whenever I have a new match, the old matches disappear. Why?

How do I make a convincing first reply?

Apparently "Hey, how are you doing/what are you doing" won't even raise an eyebrow, let alone get a reply.

>>17594795
Are you a guy or girl?

>>17594641
>"Women might actually like my face and want to speak to me"
>"muh courtship"
you sound like a bitch now

>>17594817
..What?

Also, women don't find men attractive.
We are the ugly half of the species.

Seriously.

If you're not tall (And I'm not) or ripped (Again, not) you're not attractive.

I thought tinder was explicitly for random hookups. If you're looking for something other than a parking lot BJ why aren't you on eharmony or something

>>17594823
You need to get a grip of reality man.

>>17594795
NEVER start with something like that, women get a million matches and the only thing separating you from the other 15 guys that she swiped right at is what you say. Say the most random shit, best being keen observations made from her photos (spotting small jewelry, tattoo meanings, anything detailed, bitches love a man who can see details). I can't tell you how many times spotting a small detail launched a rapid conversation - they are always surprised if you can spot these things.

>>17594823

this

You guys know that according to okcupid women say that 80% of men are below average?

Seriously check this out.

>>17594832
Yeah, I saw that one.

It's nuts the leaps in common sense people make until they see the stats.

>>17594829
>You need to get a grip of reality man.
What do you have to say now?

I'm not trying to "win." I just want a better solution in lieu of the shitty ones you keep giving me. At least brainstorm a bit.

>>17594836

If you don't think stopping this whiny defeatist behavior is a solution to your problems you will never attract a woman anyway, I want to help you with advice that worked for me at least and you systematically refuse to acknowledge any other viewpoint but your own, good luck with that buddy.

>>17594832
>>17594823
all the bullshit motivational stuff about self esteem and confience you see is actually real, if you give in to thinking like that your brain internalizes the limiting beliefs and it actually affects your life

>>17594836
if you're abstaining from online dating the only solution is to go outside but you'll probably find some way to rationalize why that won't work for you either

>>17594839
.. Why are you treating me like this?

You get shown a stat or two and you fall apart.

Do you literally have no plan B?

>>17594630
This. Unless you look like you have downs or are a legitimate 1/10, there will be women out there who think your face looks good. Like how on 4chan you see some guys saying a girl with an ayyy lmao face looks like an alium, but there's always one or two fags who think she looks cute.

It's weird.

>>17594843
>if you're abstaining from online dating the only solution is to go outside but you'll probably find some way to rationalize why that won't work for you either
I can tell you what's happened when I've done that.

And it happens no matter where I go.

Women are not alone.
They cannot be approached.
You will not get between them and their friends (and why would you want to?)

When you say 'go outside' I'm sure you mean something more specific than that.

Do tell what you meant please.

Because
>all the bullshit motivational stuff about self esteem and confience you see is actually real,
It may be real, but it doesn't actually matter until you meet someone. Have the opportunity to speak with someone.

Understand?

None of the confidence shit has been disputed. It's all about GETTING THE OPPORTUNITY.

If you can't get a match on tinder, well. That's it. There's NOTHING you can do with the app after that.

Op here. If it is a match, should I message the guy first? What should I say?

>>17594855
That would be quite unusual and interesting

>>17594853
No hope

>>17594858
Just admit you have no fucking clue what you're talking about.

>>17594432
shit's so true
>don't get matches
>feel bad about yourself
>start judging people

>>17594855

well this happened to me like 2 times IIRC. Its so unusual that whatever you say it will work fine.

>>17594858
>>17594865
And is it true that there are bots on Tinder? Apparently a really good looking guy liked me too but I am just average looking. Should I message him first?

>>17594847
I have had women who think I'm attractive.

And it doesn't matter. Every case has been 50+ miles away. And most of the charm between me and them, was getting to them well before they ever saw what I looked like.

On tinder (and all dating sites for that matter) it's the exact opposite.

So it doesn't matter.

And all the advice for going outside and meeting randos is absolute garbage.
Literally all of it.

>>17594871
OP. What does his profile say.

Do you even check this shit?

>>17594874
Height, location, and language
It seems too good to be true

>>17594880
So you know literally nothing about him but it seems too good to be true because he's hot. Didn't you say you weren't looking to hookup?

And now that I think about it, why is height in there with extremely crucial information like location and language.

Tinder is fucking putrid.

>>17594871

you will never know if you dont message him.

He probobly liked like 20 girls and you are just one of the profiles.

But too be honest you are just a girl you are too chickenshit to message him arent you?

>>17594880
Well if you don't message him then you won't know for sure, will you?

>>17594880
Tell him he has nice teeth
Dental hygiene is important

>>17594892
>>17594895
You and half the people in this thread are approaching this all wrong.

Why are people deciding to meet up based first on random traits they were given at birth? This is not how healthy relationships are formed.

And, not looking for a hookup, that's what the OP is after apparently. So what the fuck is this advice?

>>17594889
>>17594892
We have a lot of 2nd connection friends though
Do you think he is looking for hook ups? I mean, who doesn't want a good-looking bf short term or long term?

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>>17594872
either you'll figure it out or you won't man

it took me years just to get out of the shitty mentality your head is in right now and it's a constant job to avoid falling back in

I've worked in a retail at a big mall for about 4 years now and I'm 5'4 and saw enough guys my height of all races, fat, skinny, ripped whatever with girlfriends and wives of all sizes that its slowly chipped away at my assumptions about the world

that's what I mean by go outside, I work with a guy barely taller than me and not conventionally attractive that regularly gets numbers and ends up going out with girls that walk into our store in minutes

it trips me the fuck out cause I'm still coming from that retarded place that your shitty brain keeps you in when you tell yourself you can't do anything better even though people do more with less all the time

>>17594902
>Why are people deciding to meet up based first on random traits they were given at birth?
Because if you aren't attracted to someone then the rest doesn't matter.
>random traits
So you'd be fine dating an ugly retard? Intelligence comes from genetics, after all, despite what retards who are still ignorant enough to argue an over 50% environment case think.

>>17594908
>I mean, who doesn't want a good-looking bf short term or long term?
No no, why is this your first priority?

You know nothing about them. And the only reason you're willing to learn anything about them is because they're hot.

If you want something long-term, this is how you fail to get it.

>>17594908

as agood looking dude. Id say that good looks for a man is nothing. It gives a tiny headstart but only like 5m headstart in a 1000m run.

what im saying is this guy might be good looking but he might have one crooked teeth, or lisping, or any minor insignificant thing and hes done. You wont like him. He's not perfect animu princu

>>17594918
>Because if you aren't attracted to someone then the rest doesn't matter.
There's a difference between being unattracted to someone, and giving godlike preferential treatment to the most attractive person they see. This is a stupid and amateur move, always.

And the rest does matter. But that argument is too stupid to dignify with an explanation.
>Intelligence comes from genetics
PRFFFFFFF

I can't believe you're trying to broadstroke the issue like that.

Yes, this is how scientists spin it. There are not a milion factors, just the one factor. "Your genes!--And that's it."

>>17594922
Leaving good looks aside, most profile in Tinder are super brief. Many guys even have nothing.
I am just saying that guy is good looking so it is unlikely that he will be interested in an average lookin girl like me.
Whether we will click is another story

>>17594937
Okay what do you even want to be in a relationship for?

Is it just a figleaf? Are ashamed to admit you just want hookups?

What the fuck am I reading. If you want something longterm you would not be droning about looks this much.

In a longterm relationship, looks are what matter THE LEAST.

>>17594937
Just message the fucker if you want to and keep swiping. Tinder is a numbers game, stop stressing about one match.

>>17594954
Like I've said I am looking for something long term.
And I really don't know if it is possible for such a good looking guy to like an average looking girl on Tinder. Is this even possible? I doubt he is a bit as we do have 2nd connection friends. Should I message him first?

>>17594960
Tinder is indeed one of the worst things that ever could've become successful.

>>17594963

Plenty of good looking guys go for average women because in their mind that average girl would cheat less.

But the caveat being your personality must be rock solid.

>>17594963
>Like I've said I am looking for something long term.
Bullshit.
This is the only thing you've said that would even indicate that. Everything has been "Sex sex sex."

Jesus christ I have never seen someone so flagrantly in denial about what they were actually after.

But since you're wondering:
>And I really don't know if it is possible for such a good looking guy to like an average looking girl on Tinder. Is this even possible? I doubt he is a bit as we do have 2nd connection friends. Should I message him first?
If you're not obese, and you have a wet hole on you, he is probably ready to fuck it. You might not be at the top of the list, but he probably would have a bad day somewhere down the line where you'll do nicely.

So just message him, I guess.

>>17594967
I thought hot (and wealthy) guys prefer hot chicks. Idk as I am not a guy myself and just an observation a lot of hot and rich male celebs date other hot girls.
>But the caveat being your personality must be rock solid
What did you mean by this?

>>17594974
Well your personality is clearly garbage.

>>17594978
Why did you say that my personality is garbage?

>>17594974
-everyone- prefers the most attractive person they can get. not just wealthy or attractive people.

>>17594987
No.

I find Anna Akana extremely attractive, and I would not go out with her because I have seen what she actually believes.

Looks matter the least as time goes on.

And to disagree with this, is to frankly be a young 20-something. You're all like this. You'll grow out of it though, I guess.

>>17594987
Yeah, so why would that hot guy on Tinder swipe my pic to the right?

>Be 6'6"
>Don't state it in the profile
>Bitches ask my height
>I respond
>anotherdate.jizzpeck

>>17595015
Stop using tinder immediately.

>>17595015
Us guys don't give a shit, we just want to fuck.

>>17595018
>Bitches ask my height
When and why do they do this?

>>17595019
What?

>>17595028
I didn't say anything confusing.

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>>17595026
That's always one of the first questions. I suspext they ask this because I have some pics of myself with some other bitches.

pic related, one of my profile pics.

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>Not getting married in your very first Tinder message.
Literally step the fuck up people. Holy shit.

>>17595032
Ugh, they actually ask that?

I'm 5'7. I learned relatively late that girls actually care about height. It makes no sense to me, to write people off for something so trivial.

It's treated like something that's my fault. Like my decisions lead to it, or its who I am deep inside. And there's nothing I can ever do about it.

>>17595046
I look shorter on this pic because my knees are bent. All other pics that reveal my full height show my face without sun glasses and I don't want my face on fucking 4chan.

Look, my height is the only thing I've got going for me. I'm ugly, poor, old and, most importantly, I am a massively insecure, shy, retarded autist with severely crippling social anxiety.

I'm also in my mid 30ies and I have only ever fucked two women. Beats being a khv wizard, but still shows you how hard I suck at dating. So don't worry about your height, it means fucking nothing.

>>17595026
Because they are shallow american whores. Other countries don't do this. Maybe 1 foreign chick ever asked me this, yet I see this about 15-20% of the time with American sluts, and I have had hundreds of matches.

American whores use, what imperial? So 6'0" is a nice round figure they demand for some asinine reason. The rest of the world uses metric, and it sounds retarded (rightfully so) to demand the metric equivalent of 6'0". 6ft means nothing to the majority of the planet, yet shallow american bitches can't see ourside their vain little box.

Yes, I'm mad at 5'11". I've still smashed plenty of whores, 20+, but the stupidity of demanding 6 feet just drives me up he fucking walls. Few 6ft tall guys would be dumb enough to want to marry a girl that chosen him off his height, because someone taller will come around eventually. You really want to know your girl might fuck a dude behind your back based on his height? You'll never be able to trust any of her 6ft tall guy "friends". This is even according to my friends who are 6ft or taller.

>>17595060
I am poor, 29 years old, massively insecure, shy, with severely crippling social anxiety, and I've fucked one woman. One. That was 7 years ago. I'm so bad at dating I haven't actually done it. I just had the one hookup.

And on top of that, 5'7.

So I really don't feel that much better about things after this conversation.

And besides, you don't actually look ugly. Sunglasses don't exactly make that impossible to ascertain.

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>>17595073
>I've still smashed plenty of whores
Is it weird that this always makes me feel massively disconnected from whatever else the person says after reading it?

Like I haven't visited the planet you're currently on, and never will.

>>17595073
6'6" guy here. I can confirm this. Whenever a woman IRL asks my height I respond with 6'. That way I can tell if they are a)retarded and b) shallow, in the sense that really tall=6'=good

>>17594508
Yeah oddly enough I was there looking for hopefully an eventual wife, but there was so many random hookups and shallow bitches I was like, I'd have better luck in a church.

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>>17595081
k, nigger, here's my face. tell me I'm not ugly, whatever, idgaf. Disregard the other two fuckers.

Look, there are other ways to make yourself desirable. I live in western Europe and, for instance, my near flawless English impresses all the bitches.

>>17595015
Men are less shallow than women.

That is why this has happened.

>>17595093
You look pretty normal to me.

I live in america, where english impresses nobody.

>>17595106
Then learn spanish or some shit.

>mentally abusing female posters
>muh league

This is certainly 4chan.

>>17595110
In europe, learning a different language may actually serve a purpose. But here, generally not. At least in my state.

I wanted to learn japanese in high school, but wouldn't you know it there was no class for it. Despite our country trading very heavily with theirs. What the fuck.

>>17595115
>mentally abusing female posters
Oh go fuck yourself.
Much worse happens to people who don't advertise their gender at all.

>>17595116
Then learn something else instead, ffs. At least you got laid in your early 20ies, I lost my virginity at age 25.
Stop whining and make yourself desirable. I went on quite a few dates but I was always too fucking scared to make a move. Get shit done and convey sexual interest as early as possible. The former isn't that hard, the latter.. well, I don't know.

>>17595127
It doesn't matter what I do or learn. Because there aren't opportunities to talk to women in public.

It's not a thing that's really done anymore. And if it does happen it's not tolerated because it seems so hilariously outdated. They'll blow you off before learning anything about you.

You basically have to know someone who knows someone, or use online dating (which this thread demonstrates is horrible)

Stop being an asshole to me specifically. I respond better with practical advice and encouragement.

>>17595127
>At least you got laid in your early 20ies, I lost my virginity at age 25.
Oh big fucking difference.

>>17595139
>there aren't opportunities to talk to women in public.
>You basically have to know someone who knows someone


You are right. However, there are plenty of opportunities to meet other guys, and these guys have sisters, female friends etc...

>>17595147
>However, there are plenty of opportunities to meet other guys,
Look.

If that's the reason I'm meeting these people, I'm going to be acting like a phony asshole as I'm doing it. And with that being the reason, it's not going to work. And knowing that it won't work, I'm not going to do it.

Why can't people just be after what they're after? I'm not even after a fucking hookup, so that makes tinder worthless. Wait, why am I acting like that's the reason tinder's worthless. I wasn't getting matches anyway.

>>17595154
>I wasn't getting matches anyway.
Do you live in a rural area?

>>17595157
I don't think it counts as rural, but it's definitely not a major city.

There was no shortage of girls. It's just that none of them swiped me right, and I don't care to try that service again because it's purely superficial anyway.

I don't want to judge someone from appearance and vice versa. It's a dogshit service.

>>17595118
Why are you okay with mentally abusing female posters?

This thread makes me feel like I need a shower. Jesus.

I get matches now and then. Fourth day of tinder and happn and I got four matches so far. Three of them are from beautiful women, one is less good looking but not bad.
The problem is: two of them simply stopped replying. One of them actually unmatched me. I got the other's phone number and we were texting. She asked me about my social medias and after I told her I don't really use Facebook despite having an account, she simply stopped talking. She's read my messages from today (a good morning and a "gave up on talking? :'D"), but no replies whatsoever.
What should I do here, guys? I don't wanna lose the remaining two and future matches.

>>17595940
This is sickening.

I hate what tinder is doing to people.

>>17595948
Okay, thanks for the help!

>>17596156
Alright. I dunno if I should feel bad or not because of your laughter.

>>17596162
I meant it as a compliment, I agreed with what you were saying and that delivery fucking killed me, it was just too true

>>17594914
Requesting pdf of this.

Google images show nothing relevant

>>17595073

Bullshit. Women do this all over the world. I'm in an Eastern-European country rn and almost every one of them asks my height. I have it in my bio now just to avoid the question.

Some girls even mention their preferred height in their bio. "If you're below 180cm don't even try"

>>17595940
Not sure if you'll see this but whatever.

First girl I ever matched with on tinder ended up being my gf for a few months. The conversation just flowed really well and we'd speak every day.

I asked her what made her choose me as I knew she would have an inbox full of messages from other guys, and I'm quite unattractive. She said they were all boring/just opened with a hello etc, and that I was funny and interesting.

I guess the point I'm making is this: if they enjoy talking to you then you won't need to put extra effort into trying to get them to reply. They'll simply reply because they want to. The truth is you're competing with a lot of other guys, it's simply down to her taste and who she prefers out of the people she has chasing her on tinder.

I'm back on tinder and matched with a qt who reads Tolkien and plays vidya. We've spoke twice and got on but she's stopped replying. There's certainly something there, maybe I can salvage it, but she's just moved to a uni slightly further away so maybe she's considering closer options.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: if it's meant to be then it'll happen. Don't feel bummed about conversations dying, it's for the best, they're just not that into you. Just consider how many times you swipe right on someone you'd never want a relationship with, a match can be nothing other than self validation to make sure others find them attractive.

>>17595940

I get the same, why care? If she stops replying I delete her within 24 hours and move on. The less value you give them the more attracted they are to you.

>>17597771
>>17597787
Turns out one of the two that ignored me was just busy, we're likely going out next week. I'll try to juggle them all.
Thanks for the encouragement, guys.

>>17598300
There you go then, it worked out in the end. Good luck man!

>>17594524
The no sex till the third date doesn't work, if I don't get any by the 2nd you're dumped lmao

>>17598337
Thanks! I just got a message from the first girl that stopped replying saying shes been busy. We exchanged numbers. I was worried for nothing! Four girls lined up, not half bad.