friend convinced moving out is best for mental health.

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Less though when the opportunities present themselves to me though. I don't know why that is, but I tend to feel fine when say, someone approaches me to talk to me for example.

Anyways, today an opportunity to do something fun, new and exciting presented itself to me. Someone in the hall at school was handing out flyers for an outing on the weekend. $30 to go and it actually seemed pretty fun. However it conflicted with my work schedule so I can't go. It dawned on me that this has happened numerous times, almost always whenever an opportunity to go out and actually do something other than "hangout" presents itself it always conflicts with my school and work. I really don't have very many college friends desu, most of my friends are friends I've had from highschool that went right to work and live on very different schedules than me.

Anyways, to the actual topic at hand. I was talking to my friend about this realization and he said that it might be a good idea to look into moving out. It'll give me a push out of my comfort zone and simply living in the city I go to school will simply make it easier for me to... well.... live.

Don't get me wrong, I want to move out. I absolutely fucking loath this town. There's absolutely nothing to do if your over 10 and under 50. However my parents are super against it, and even though I'm an adult that can make my own decisions every time I brought it up with them they were so pushy with their opinion I kinda felt like I didn't have a choice but to do what they said.

It was your typical "It's cheaper to live at home, you can't afford it blahblahblah" stuff. Too be fair they don't try to hold me back socially, if I were to say I'm going to the bar/a party/whatever they wouldn't care. Basically they think I can't afford it, and in all honesty I'm a little inclined to believe them.

But anyways, is my friend right? Do you think that even though money might be a bit of an issue sometimes it would be good for me?

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I've been wondering the same thing.
I think it's a comfort zone thing. When you live at home you're in your comfort zone and the thought of going outside of that (ie. socializing, doing new things) is daunting. But if you lived on your own in a new place you wouldn't have a comfort zone to hide in and you would be forced to adapt or slink back home to your parents.
Anyway, I'm in the same predicament as you and would like to move out as well. But it is very expensive...

>>17590105
Is living at home for school just a surefire way to ensure you don't have fun?

On the flip side I have friends telling me that if I can't afford to move out I can't afford to move out, and I just have to accept that means college might be a little boring.

>>17590136
>Is living at home for school just a surefire way to ensure you don't have fun?
Pretty much. While everyone else is having fun and hanging out because they live together, you're at home by yourself.
It's possible to make friends and party and blah blah if you commute but it won't be the same.

You could ask your friends if they want to share an apartment with you. I wouldn't live with strangers. You might also get lucky and find a decent place for cheap, like a studio apartment.

>>17590152
My best friend lives with me here too.

Chances are if I were to move out he'd probably join me. He's not in school and would be working full time and probably wouldn't mind contributing a little more money to make ends meet. So there's that at least.

>>17590182
Oh, I thought you lived at home.
It probably would be better to move away from your small town, even better if you have a friend who's willing.

>>17590224
I do live at home, he just lives here too.

It's a long story.

Bump. Definately needing multiple opinions on this.

The way I see it, 45 minutes drive isn't a long time. I live at home and commute that long to uni everyday too (though on public transport), and the financial burden of moving out is not worth being closer to uni. The distance really isn't hindering me socially, and I'm saving so much money living at home - I could spend $200 on public transport a month, or I could spend $200 on living costs a week.

>>17590610
So do I basically just need to stop being a little bitch.

>>17590635
In your situation, moving out isn't really going to change anything IMO. Your anxiety issues and whatnot can be 'cured' by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone any time, including now, even if you don't move out. It's just a matter of doing things. Moving out might actually compound your stress because then you'd be worrying about things like earning enough for rent and bills while dealing with roommates, as well as trying to juggle school work. I'd stay home if my home life was fine.

However, I don't have mental health issues like that, so I honestly don't know if what I'm advising is best for you. It's really up to you to decide whether moving out would give you the push you need. Just adding that as a disclaimer.

>>17590651
No that definately makes sense.

This really does feel absolutely beyond me though. It feels way to fucking overwhelming to even make the first step. There's just so much I feel I have to worry about. It's all so confusing and stressful ugh

>>17590658
Well if we go to the heart of your issue, it's not really about moving out, it's about working up the nerve to push yourself into social situations. Just make a little effort to get to know people. Start off small, it doesn't have to be some sort of grand gesture like asking a random girl out. Smile or say good morning to someone in your class, for example. Join a club. If there's some sort of quiz night or other event that some organisation at your uni is holding, go along to that (take a friend if you don't want to go alone). If you feel overwhelmed, go home early and/or take a few days to recover.

I'd also suggest looking into whether your uni provides therapy or mental health services, and see what they can do for you.

>>17590665
Yeah the school has event flyers posted all over the school and shit. As well as event callanders.

I remember there being a club week where all the clubs set up tables around the school and stuff. I've been waiting for that to take a look see at what's what. I may of missed it who knows

I went to my first counselling session the other day. It was just introducing my problems to him. Well I completely understand these things take time it's really shitty to think how long it'll actually be before I even feel remotely ok. So much time to live life that I just... can't bring myself to use. And then there's this worry of "what if I can't sort this out by the time college is over. I'll look back and think about how miserable I was about not doing cool shit instead of looking back and saying 'hey that's a lot of cool shit I did'". Not to mention if I don't develop skills with women/friend making/stepping out of my comfort zone now I'll probably be absolutely fucked when I enter the real world

So I went through my 4 years of college living with my parents. I also had about a 45 min commute.

I moved out on my own after college and let me tell you. I didn't keep any of my college friends. (If i really ever had any to begin with) They were all nice people, but i never got to really hang out with them, or make meaningful connections, as I was never "there for them" at a time when kids are turning into adults and might come to an existential crisis on a whim. I was too busy working or driving.

Now, about 5 yrs later, all my friends are either from high school or people I met after college, after I moved out. Moving out on my own gave me the ability to focus on myself and focus on my relationships as well. (admittedly, it is way easier when you have a roommate or significant other)
Basically, it's true. It is way cheaper to live at home. But to me, it was worth it to scrape and save up

>>17592024
But the issue is I'm just miserable with how my life is. The simple "sit around and game" lifestyle I used to have isn't satisfying anymore. But I guess I never developed my social skills enough to feel comfortable doing anything for myself socially. It's all so terrifying. I'm barely meeting new people, haven't gone to a single party in the year I've been to school, I don't really feel comfortable approaching and talking to strangers in any social setting (especally women). Seriously if I don't figure out this shit now I probably won't be able to function in the real world (so maybe moving out for now isn't a good idea), and I'll probably live a life of being unsuccessful with women n shit too.