Thread replies: 65
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Thread images: 11
Did I do anything that could have screwed up the conversation?
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May be continued
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>>17581943
>>17581945
>>17581950
>>17581958
>conversation happens over the course of 12 pm and 5:30 pm
>now it's 6:11 and she hasn't replied
Stop being so fucking impatient. She just told you she's busy
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I don't see anything wrong with your responses OP, maybe they are doing something and forgot to text you back?
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>>17581971
>>17581972
I know she's busy, that's not really what Im asking.
I am more so asking if any specific feeling is given off by me or her.
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>>17581978
Because /adv/ is famed in its ability to read people's minds.
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>>17581978
I really don't get a specific "vibe" from both of you with the you guys texted each other, just two normal people talking about class and work. She seems pretty comfortable around you, don't scare her off OP.
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>>17582002
*way
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>>17581986
I am just asking if maybe something can be seen by the way we were responding.
>>17582002
Which is kinda surprising seeing has how much stupid shit I said in the past. Also, I seemed to be less self centred this time around.
Is anything implied by my responses?
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>>17581943
You didn't set up a date yet? Get to the point
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>>17582086
The thing is that I tried in the past with her. And that didn't quite work out, as her kinda controlling friend forced their way in, and blocked it.
So I am trying to feel it out a bit, maybe to hangout as friend, in a group, grab coffee on campus, or something.
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>>17582102
>maybe to hangout as friend
If you hangout with her as a friend, she's going to treat and see you as that - a friend. And are you sure her controlling friend forced her way in? Maybe this girl you're texting intentionally brought her along to "play the field" with you
Been there, Done that. I'd say if you aren't interested in friendship, you should NOT act like you're friends with her
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>>17582123
I would be content as friends with her. If more, then so be it.
But with how she worded it, and acted around him after, I must think that he forced his way in.
"R wanted to tag a long"
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>>17582135
Also, he seemed to talk say bye to me, as if I was competition, and was now out of the picture
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>>17582135
>I would be content as friends with her
Bullshit. If you are just okay with being friends, then you wouldn't be making such a big deal out of these texts and asking for /adv/isors to help you. If you are single and you think she attractive at all, then this is really a lie
Do you like her? Yes or no? If it's yes, it's important to not act like a friend, which you plan on doing.
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>>17582215
True. I like her also, so, I guess I am just trying to find a way to keep her in my life.
I don't know what to do with my situation then. It's a bit long and confusing
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>>17582225
Let me save you a lot of heartache. Ask her out. If she says no, cut her off completely and move on. If you keep her around if she says no, it'll be so much fucking worse on you, and everything you do.
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>>17582236
yes, do that. None of this go out for coffee in a group nonsense. It's a waste of time.
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>>17582236
True. Probably the best. but I know of too many people who just stuck with them as friends and it worked out.
I did ask her out in the past. 1st time, Yes. 2nd, Busy (Work and Family)
Then asked her to hangout in a group, and Busy.
So.... I may try feeling it out a little more, then I'll go from there. It is obvious that she is decently comfortable around me
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>double text after beating around the bush about literally nothing interesting
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>>17582248
I was talking more in general.
>Option 1: Hang out on campus, just us (Coffee or something)
>Option 2: Off Campus (Long Beach Boardwalk or something.)
Either in a Romantic or Friendly context. Depending
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>>17582257
Ayyy another 562. What's her name I probably know her.
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>>17582361
>562
Different Long Beach actually.
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>>17582369
In fact, complete opposite side of the country.
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Two more.
1/2
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>>17582729
She sounds busy man , just chill brah find other things to distract you.
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>>17582741
Yea. I gathered that she is busy as fuck. just kinda hoping that it clears up at some point. (Probably won't be till thanksgiving though)
Is it obvious that I am into her from my replies? Or does it seem more just as two friends (unsure how close) talking
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>>17582747
You're not exactly direct man , you're kinda beating around the bush.
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>>17582767
Well. I really don't want it to be obvious. If I did I would straight up ask her out. But after >>17582249 , I am just feeling it out.
Do you sense anything from her?
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Looks to be busy. Wait and see
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I should mention that she never initiates the conversation. Only replies, but then they progress naturally
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>>17581943
Every... ev... everything is alright!
Maybe it's just too good for you, and you can't believe it(?
cuz no, we don't read minds
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>>17583148
Sometimes there's ways that stuff is worded that could imply a certain feeling. That is all
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>>17583188
Yeah, so, is must because of the full topic/back story.
Just relax, if you feel like:OH SHIT WHAT NOW,
Then post it, now you are doing it good.
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>>17583219
Back story
>Meet M. at end of January
>She sits infront in Pub Speaking
>She's cute enough,
>Start to like her
>Ask her out in Early April
>Say's yes, Friend R seems to force his way to tag along
>I ask her out to get coffee a week later
>"I'm Busy" with no counter offer.
>I stop for a month, other than occasionally speaking in class, and an odd text here or there.
>Most day's we don't acknowledge each other, sometimes talking around each other
>Mid-May rolls around. Invite her to hang out with friends in the City
>Busy (Her Bro's Graduation from College)
>We agree to hang out soon. No dates set, as we both have finals
>Text her randomly a week later asking about the graduation. We end up talking for 5 hours, with another short thing the following morning
>Invite her to a thing in the City that Saturday. (Again with my friends)
>This time she's doing stuff with friends. No date offered again.
>I asked her out a week or so ago, (Via Text as thats the only comms I have with her)
>Looks like her phone is kinda broken due to the text sending as an SMS and not iMessage like usual
>So, No reply
>Try to get my mind off her
> Randomly a friend texts me about her.
>Because of him reminding me of her, I check to see if shes back on iMessage.
>She is, so phone is back and working
Cont.
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>>17583229
>But still no reply.
>Spoke to her a week and half after I asked her
>She made no reference to when I asked her out.
>She either is avoiding it, or never saw it (Though she did accidently send ;) but quickly corrected it to :) )
>I sure as hell am not going to bring it up again.
>Text to see if shes free to hangout with a friend and I
>Busy, graduation party
>Did not buy it
>Sent this "I don't mean to sound like an asshole, but if you don't want to hang out at all just say so."
>She does not respond
>I check, and see that her sisters HS did graduate the following day.
>Now I regret it.
>Apologize, and she accepts it
>Don't speak for a month or so
>Text her again, and all is like usual. No awkwardness.
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>>17583233
>>17583229
Hmmmmm, well, still thinking you are doing it alright, let's see what happen.
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>>17583233
I know that feeling of having no time for yourself really well. Back when I began studying my freetime reduced drastically to almost nothing, while my friends from school that study other subjects have the whole day and get drunk every weekend. In the end I severed ties (in a really asshole like manner, lying and ignoring) with the most of them, because I cannot afford being with them every week and it made me angry/tired to cancel big events, because of deadlines and such things. Nevertheless I really often have the desire to meet up, sometimes have normal conversations with them like you two, but in most cases, they themself have no time when I have or they ignore me now, because I did so. I think she has a hard time telling you how she really feels, that's also why she keeps only replying. Maybe you should keep trying to meet up a few times for her sake, loosen up to eachother and then ask her out. A close relationship is more relaxing than going out with your friends and if she feels lonely, then you are the only one that can close this gap.
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>>17583859
Makes sense what you are saying, given what I know of her personality. The backstory gives more of a "I am kinda interested, but busy" kind of vibe, rather than "Fuck off, I am not interested"
What kinda feeling do you get from the actual replies about how she feels towards me? (Probably nothing much, but doesn't hurt to ask)
But the loosen up and ask her out. I guess I can try meeting her on campus for lunch or coffee on Mod or Wed, as we are there around the same time.
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its dead OP
she was never interested
the friend coming along wasnt forced, she asked her to join
case A of whore loving the attention but she doesnt want anything from you
i dont even know how is this a question
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>>17583924
Alot of her actions prior and after indicate some interest
The friend is known to be a bit, off.... Plus after that incident, she seemed somewhat uncomfortable near him.
His actions indicate that he sees me as competition. So...
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>>17583879
Yeah, that's a hard one. I recognize this kind of conversation:
>what do you do
>how is it going
>some things about university
>did you meet someone from school back then
>do you still have your old hobbies
>a bit casual talk
>event in some weeks
>... no contact for a month
The conversations I had like this were with best friends I knew like nearly ten years and are almost the same as yours. I think you are on a good way, but there is low till nothing personal conversation. I don't think she is happy or at least doesn't want to talk about her work and study, but on the other side she has no choice but doing it, because it's the only thing she can talk about. She also may be unsure about her future and what she really wants to do later and where. I mean she takes 7 classes and works on two jobs. Even if they are just small ones with like 2 hours a week, 1-2 hours homework and she works like 10 hours per job, then you have like ~50 hours if everything goes right and without time for driving, breaks, eating. She is obviously overworked without realizing how it drains her energy, - she may have depression or get it soon, just a guess - so what is needed is a person that is really considerate, sensitive and ready to be pushed around as hard as it may sound. Do you think you can do that? Then I think the feeling towards you will grow, but if not I guess it's better for her two find someone like that.
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>>17583943
True.
I need to cut back with all of the more work type talk.
I can see that that the work and study may catch up to her in the near future, and lead into a depression.
I think I can deal with what you say at the end. I care about her a fair bit, and want to be there if needed
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>>17583960
>I need to cut back with all of the more work type talk
I would recommend to simply make new memories with her even if she's hard to approach, so she has something other to talk or think about. Try to find out what makes her really happy. Most people tend to talk like a waterfall if your conversations reach such topics. Wish you the best of luck.
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>>17584016
Now I gotta somehow get to that point with a conversation.
A few months ago, she told me she had a soft spot for "country" music. Could use that maybe.
And hopefully I run into her today. That could help
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>>17583527
Yea, I guess.
I just wish that there was an obvious way to proceed.
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This is disgusting. She obviously doesn't like you, or she thinks you don't like her. You can get that vibe oozing out of her texts, replies, her behavior you've described.
Ask. Her. On a date.
Who cares if she has a busy schedule. If she liked you enough and wants it, she'll make time for you.
If she responds no or with something vague, stop being a creepy over-analyzer, and find some other girls who are interested in you.
Its almost like you enjoy this needless stress
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>>17584181
I want to do that, but in the past she acted like she had some interest. But when I asked her out, or would invite her to hang out as a friend, stuff was happening that she can't bail on. (Work, Graduations etc)
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Stupid thing, but it looks like she made eye contact when I saw her for like 5 seconds. Just happened to look in her direction, and we just kinda locked eyes. Not the first time its happened
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>>17584181
LoL, I want to see how you would react if the personality of your partner gets more complicated after some years in a relationship. Probably break up.
Women aren't all the same. They don't throw themselves on you, just because they want the D.
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>>17584251
I actually am not 100% sure if it was actually her.
Looked like her, but a bit thinner, and with glasses (Does not usually wear them)
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>>17584271
She's the type that can't be easily read.
People have said just about every possibility with her. So...
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It was all fine until you double texted at the end.
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>>17585028
I will accept that.
Probably wouldn't have much of an effect though.
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>>17584353
Could be that you are just trying to see her, even when not there?
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If you like this girl, you've already dragged it out a little far past asking her out.
You'd have been way, way better to have asked her out after the first couple of texts to catch up, than to continue on with the arbitrary back and forth of questions. Also, try and build off of what she says sometimes - comment on a personal experience, a story, etc... Don't make it feel like an interrogation.
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>>17585320
I suppose. The reason I didn't ask her out is that I would rather do that in person. And knowing that we are on campus at the same time, that could easily happen.
Though, atleast this time I didn't make the whole thing centered around me. Though I do need to work on moving the conversation forward.
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>>17585337
Fair enough.
For the future, chatting like that is cool - but I'd suggest "Hey, I've got some things to take care of. See you around/hit me up later/etc" and then asking her out in person next time you see her. Saving all the getting to know each other stuff for in person is so much better.
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>>17585362
True. True. If I am in a situation like that with her or another girl, I'll keep it in mind.
Now, just to somehow run into her, to do it in person.
I think I saw her earlier today, but not certain. I was not gonna stop though, as I had to print a paper and get to class in like 10 min.
If I mention something specific, I suppose it would be just to grab coffee on campus?
Also, you read the rest of the stuff, including the backstory?
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>>17585370
Yeah... Just seems like a lack of interest, dude.
If she keeps blowing you off, or not making plans around when she's 'busy' then it's a no go. Sucks, but that's the way it goes.
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>>17585382
True. Its one of those situations, where everyone has a different opinion.
These are just some of the things people said.
>Likes me, but R is intimidating her
>Likes me, but genuinely overloaded with work
>Unsure if she wants to do something
>Likes me only as a friend, but a decent friend
etc.
Though things slip through that are semi common when a girl is interested in a guy. (More letters added to words, appears near me at random, locks eyes with me from a distance (Including earlier today), increased Emoji use, and has show off her ass to me once or twice atleast.)
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>>17585397
I honestly must say, that given what you say, I think that she may have had some level of interest, but life but that on the back burner. But in general, she seems kinda hard to read
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