What's on your mind anon?

Yo momma

>>17578184

Frustrations at my job, vastly mitigated by my solidifying dream of starting a +4 acre forest garden and creating my own edible woods to go innawoods in my spare time

Why do I still have to be kv while everyone around me just kept getting gfs out of nowhere? Why were they so lucky and not me?

>>17578184
Past couple of weeks feels like I've finally been making positive progress focusing on myself. Though the past two days I've just felt kind of shit, and one of the things I feel like I cant connect with my friends.

>>17578217
That sounds awesome anon, you should do it
>>17578240
"Lucky" usually means a relationship that isn't all that good but they've just settled. Don't be jealous.
>>17578258
I've always believed if you're not willing to risk your life for them and they're not willing to risk their lives for you, it isn't really friendship

>>17578351
As depressing as that feels, no one in this group is very outgoing. We mostly just use messenger since they both moved out. I've felt the need to space myself away from one friend after some fuck up before she left. I think I'll be fine tomorrow, just not used to being the one wanting space. Maybe I'm just hoping they contact first.

>>17578440
Thinking about it, this will be fine, I'm just overthinking. Doesn't matter where they are right now, when it comes to me, I'm good.
Guess it just helped typing it out. Don't really know how that works, though I'm just going to finish my shift, get a beer and head home.

>>17578184
Wondering how I can make moves with someone I like.
Wondering where I can take my life in 5 years.
Wondering if a physical trading company between India and Japan could lead to massive potential profits.
Wondering what the annual French budget is doing wrong
Wondering what this semester's classes are going to be like.
Wondering what to do after Gym

>>17578592
Stop wondering and thinking years into the future.
That shit is not good for you

I want friends.
I need to start studying for my boards.
I'm horny for my bf
;____;

i miss a best friend. her boyfriend doesnt allow me to talk to her :(

>>17578184
I miss my best friend that killed herself last week.

>>17578592
When the current hour is dull and boring, what else is there to do than look at into the future?

I can't find/create a good username/nickname that pleases me and I'm going nuts.
I've used a lot of usernames but sooner or later I start disliking them.

>>17578592
Better to make that move earlier than later. Have fun, plan your time a day at a time and/or just live in the moment.
Pick up something fun, doesn't have to be big. Read a book, draw or something.

Friend of 3.5 years stopped talking to me or being totally blunt randomly ever since she moved to a new city in January. She was one of the only people I could open up to since I couldn't have a relationship in my last year at uni and my friends rarely mention feelings and only talk about them if it's about theirs. It still bothers me not only that I got dropped but that I can't talk to anyone about things, I just have to suck it up and feel alone. Graduating uni has only worsened that feeling as I'm forced to live at home with my parents because of the price of rent, whist I struggle to find a graduate job even though I've got a decent degree. I'm probably just rambling but basically my 2 biggest problems are loneliness and job hunting.

>>17578621
masturbating furiously

>>17578633
xxXXxxDankMemertonxxXXxx420blaze

>>17578644
Holy fuck you did it! I totally love it

>>17578639
that fucking sucks..

im >>17578608
and i feel so lonely. i just miss talking to her about everything

Seriously, though. How did you guys found a good username?

Day 2 of withdrawing from my meds..
I already feel this is a bit of a mistake.
I want my mind to be mine to control again but I just can't.

I can't help shake the feeling that one day there'll be a rope around my neck.

Why do I feel so much for someone that I really shouldn't.

It looks like I'm in the wrong thread.

>>17578656
Why the fuck won't he let you talk to her? If I was you I'd be firm with him and say you were friends beforehand and he doesn't have any authority over you. If she doesn't put up much in the way of getting to still talk to you then drop her, she's a crap friend that you won't miss in the long term

>>17578658
I just pick some stupid fucking name i hear in a h3h3 video,
Hugh mungus
Tornado92
volcanomom53
etc


Stop giving a shit about a user name, i switch mine every month or so

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>>17578440
I don't know dude, it doesn't sound like you're very enthusiastic about hanging out with them. It's always better to be alone than to get stabbed in the back. or waste your time on people who aren't worth spending it on
>>17578592
Just talk to the person, casually bring up coffee or flat-out ask the person out. It's old fashioned but classic. You can take your life anywhere you can think of, but you have to plan it right and be very specific in your planning - remember, random is bad. Don't let "life" aka random chance choose your path for you. A physical trading company could do great if you figure out the right products to trade - visit both India and Japan so you understand what's up and learn the language for each otherwise you are screwed.
>>17578606
Get out there and talk to people even if your boyfriend wants you all to himself; you can have a social life as well as him and if you can't, he isn't boyfriend material
>>17578608
Abusive boyfriend. Tell your friend to get out while she can.
>>17578615
That's fucked up. I know this sounds like BS, but I have some experience with seeing ghosts, and she is, or will be, in a better place.
>>17578639
Me too. Your friends... if they aren't there for you all the time, fuck em. I am in the same boat jobwise and housewise. It sucks mate. Do you live in the Midwest? I live in Kansas and I hate going outside; the bigotry gets to me.
>>17578669
If you were on an SSRI there is a natural one called Zembrin or Sceletium. Little to no side effects; I take 4 each a day. I don't know; but I've been in the situation of loving someone horrible. It's shit, all you can do is distract yourself until the feels die and after a few months or years they should.

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Got close to someone. They got close to me too. I was so sad when I realized how much they meant to me. I said how sad I was in a few emails. Also saw something that that person's partner did on Facebook that I thought was suspicious, and showed that person. That person's partner saw how much I missed that person and what I said. He thought that person was cheating. I got blocked and told never to contact that person again by that person's partner. I screwed up royal. The thing that hurts most is not that I don't have any control over it, but if that person blocked me on their own accord after I said something or if it was coincidence... or it could have been both. I don't know if I'll ever be able to contact that person again because I was told that I would be contacted "in a while." It's already been almost three weeks. Not much time has passed, but I dread that that was said just so then I would go away.

I screwed up royal. It hurts so much.

>>17578184
i kinda need to poop

i wish i was better at smash, wish i could decide on either corrin or cloud

what about you, anon?

>>17579550
If they don't care, distract yourself for as long as it takes for the pain to go away. It will eventually.

I don't know why I want her back around, she was naive and immature as fuck

>>17579582
Me, I am tired, in pain, and frustrated. I'm in recovery from rocky mountain spotted fever and I'm stuck in this shithole known as Kansas and I really would rather be dead than live here, but I made promises and such to not kill myself.

>>17578658
[Adjective][Noun] or [Verb][Noun]

Seriously it works.

DankDog, CuteCat, DancingFlamingo

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just a tiny bit of my feelings teeling me i still like her, even when it's obvious i should move on and look for another girl

it's never going to work it is just physical atracction we have no chemistry and she doesn't like me

on the brightside im thinking on what i am going to do during december, if my self improvement keeps going well, ill look awesome and i already have a bunch of new friends

next week a friend is taking me to an acting class,i hope i can meet a better girl there

every day i miss him draws me an inch closer to killing myself. i was so immature and naive.

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>>17579603
kansas sucks, my man. try to move as soon as you can desu. start saving up money if you haven't already.

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>>17579550

Referring to my first post:

> I was so sad when I realized how much they meant to me.

Want to mention that we're divided by an ocean.

>>17579597

That's the thing. I just want to know what that person had thought and is thinking now. I want to know more than that, but I wouldn't want to push that person away with incessant questioning if that person does contact me again. Wouldn't want to blow it again is what I mean.

The last text that was sent to me was, "Okay. I'm sorry." The text that I sent that was seen last before being blocked was, "I should shut up, shouldn't I?" I had said before that I was so sorry for the way I said things, and I had then asked what they said during their argument before that person left, and that I didn't think it would come to this. That person simply read before blocking me, but that was just after I had spoken to that person's partner who had said to stop contacting that person before blocking me. The uncertainty of whether or not it was one of the three things listed in the above post is unnerving to me. I've been trying to do things to take my mind off, but I always think of one way I spent time with that person or how things have turned out thus far and cry. Like today, my half brother made me steak when I got back and had some of his family over, but when I sat down and started to eat, I imagined that person there sitting across from me like they always did... I cried silently and finished my food hurriedly before retreating to the garage to cry.

See what I mean? It's tearing me up... I'm starting to question my own mental health. Do I have attachment problems that need addressing?

It's because this was the first sort of relationship I've had where I care about someone deeply, but... I'm starting to believe that I ruined the opportunity to meet again entirely.

>>17579603
>>17579617

Yeah, you can get out of there if you put your mind to it.

I want to get out of where I am ASAP, but I'm going to have to attend school for three years and do well before I can start applying to colleges in other areas.

I hate her so much holy shit

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One of my close friends died in an accident yesterday afternoon. I still can't believe it, talked to him on Thursday night and he died Friday afternoon.

He was a good guy, played video games with him a few times per week for almost 10 years.

Sometimes I just don't understand life, I don't get why bad things happen to good people, but I guess there's no order or fairness in life.

I'll miss him a lot, he was a good friend.

>>17579776

Sorry to hear that anon. Hope things will go well and that you are able to deal with it appropriately and healthily.

May your friend rest in peace.

>>17579904
Thank you for the condolences anon. I'm trying to talk to people, it's just difficult. I keep thinking about his death and it's hard to process, he died pretty instantly, but in such a bullshit way.

>>17578658
I've been using the same nickname for ~10 years, everywhere, which sucks, since it becomes easy to track my posts/admissions. Glad I didn't post anything completely retarded.

I got my nickname out of nowhere, my friend misheard and pronounced it the different way, so that stuck with me. Still hearing fucktons of different, vast variations and they are completely hilarious 90% of the time. Root is the same, but suffix/postfix is always changed by someone. Can't comprehend using another nickname.

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>Have best friend of 5 years
> get dumb idea to fuck him
> become fuck buddies but act like husband and wife. Literally at his place everyday
> 3 months later make it official
> 3 months later realize he's selfish clingy and is border line crazy
> goodbye best friend
> hurt.
> dating someone new 2 months later
> occasionally wonder how my ex friend is Doing
> remember in the mid term of our relationship when he told me he was suicidal and i made him promise me he wouldn't kill himself unless he killed me first. Pinky promise
> cringe
> should I honestly be worried and lose sleep over this occasionally
> should I tell a friend
Oh and yes I know how dumb I am. Was on some dumb drugs and really into my feels at the time.

>>17579931
That's rough, but at least you're out of the situation, I think you'll both be fine over time.

going through another phase of enthusiasm for life and socializing, but stressing about the past again and how many opportunities i've fucked or let slip by being a pussy.

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Struggling with self worth and a longing for companionship. How do I get motivated to do the things I know I really want to do?

>>17579936
Is it normal to lose sleep over this

I barely missed meeting her when she got a boyfriend

I goofed up with a qt I really liked

Want to go do things but something is holding me back

Just want a qt gf to have something to wake up to and look forward to seeing

>>17579946
Yeah, I'd be pretty paranoid/stressed about it, but eventually it'll fade, if its affected your day to day you could probably temporarily go on anti-anxiety meds.

>>17578184
I want that gingerbread star.

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>>17578184
Thinking about a girl I think I've caught some feels for

I wake up every night in the middle of the night due to back pain from stress.

A girl that spent the night just left in an awkward rush this morning and wouldn't talk to me after I said I probably didn't want to date her. I feel bad. We've been talking for over a week.

I probably shouldn't care, since I don't think I wanted to date her anyway. But I'm upset that it upset her so much.

I think I like porn better than my girlfriend. My gf is by no means unattractive but have lately felt uninspired by her. Do you think this is just a phase or should I move on? I met my gf about 5 months ago.

I've been thinking about this girl I was hanging out with about a month ago. We went out a few times, hooked up, and then she started school and said she was stressed out and in a funk. We weren't official but I told her that's cool and pretty well stopped texting her/asking her to hang out.

Yesterday she posted a pic on social media (which she rarely posts on) and it just reminded me.

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>>17580155
How long has that been going on? I would go to a doctor or a professional can help you deal with that.
>>17579937
That's great you're now looking at your life like that. Don't dwell on the past because it sucks up your energy. Worry about your future self anon. This time make it count.
>>17580088
There's probably a cookie cutter that would let you make one like that.
>>17579948
I don't know the nature of the situation entirely, but it might be best to move on. If you are looking for companionship, you will find it eventually.
>>17580379
Your empathy shows that you're not a monster. If she can't handle it, it's not your fault. If it makes you feel better and you deem it appropriate for the situation, you can offer some words of advice to her in terms of how to accept rejection.
>>17580411
Depends. Why did you get with this girl in the first place? If it was for an objectively shallow reason, then I'm sure it wouldn't affect you as much if you were to break up. I'm assuming you're still fairly young, so there's that as well.
>>17580416
You obviously don't think about her everyday or to a point where it's distracting, so I assume you're in the clear. If you're still interested in her and know enough about her situation, maybe you could play the waiting game. However, since I don't know when any of the things mentioned happened, I would think that if it's been a while that it's better to date around.

By the way, I'm not OP, I just want to bump the thread. I'm the anon who posted the before in this thread with a greiving statue and feels guy picture.

OP, I welcome your response to these other anons as well.

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>>17581227
>>17580416

Oh, right, a month. Well, it still depends. If it's that recent then I'm sure she won't get out of said funk for a little bit.

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>>17580095
Hang in there.

>>17578184

My life is over.

I was fired late last month and will probably never get a decent job again. I am 32 and still a virgin, so I'll never be able to get a girlfriend/have sex. I have no friends.

I don't know why I keep going, I guess I don't want to hurt my family.

>>17581272
What job and why? (Again, I'm not OP)

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i went overseas for college and now im waiting for classes to start. my language skills are so-so, i dont know anyone. i have a crush on my roommate, who i will leave in a month (its a sublease). i have a crush on a couple people; it feels like all ive got. i dont know what to do but i dont know what i would do if not this so i might as well

i also just watched La Haine, it was pretty good, watch it

>>17579771
What did she do to you?

>>17578184
I just got a text message from a supposed friend (Chad, into martial arts, Buddhism, cult movies and the like) that I was supposed to meet with recently. He accuses me of lying (I couldn't attend the meeting, it's pretty far away and I'm low on cash, plus have to re-take an exam soon, which I told him way before we were supposed to meet, meaning days if not weeks), but in a passive agressive manner, with an emoticon no less. He's one of those self-help, kinda-New-Age people, recently got a bit of money and is now on a "journey to living in the moment" or something. I don't mind that, he was happy, I was happy, it was okay.

But now this, it's the second time something like that happens to me and I'm sad and clueless. I know what living in a late-capitalist society implies, that people can just flick their fingers and find new friends, but does it really take so little to become a phony in someone's eyes? It's not my fault that life crushed me recently, and you'd expect some empathy from a "friend". Now I have zero motivation to study for that exam and feel like shit.

I'm losing all my savings and can't move and start career training like I've been planning for years
I think an old flame is trying to creep back into my life but I may be reading too far into it. It'd be bad if she did but I'd be all for it
All my friends are abandoning me
I've lost passion for most of my hobbies
I just work a lot of hours and go to the gym

>>17581314
>I'm losing all my savings and can't move and start career training like I've been planning for years
Why is that, anon? Care to share your story?

>>17581243
It's mostly anxiety desu senpai
I'm not sure if I like her enough to date her yet, but then I'm scared about asking her out, or what if the relationship goes to shit, or all the other possible bad shit that can happen. Plus she's also very shy and that makes me non existant people reading skills even more useless. I automatically assume people don't like me and its not helping. Someone on here once told me that all this anxiety stuff was supposed to subside once I got laid, but I guess I'm just weird

>>17581313
everyone makes mistakes anon, everytime i hurt a relationship with someone i regretted it. he probably doesnt know what he has since he has never been without it. yes you expect empathy from friends but you also expect them to meet you when you plan to. its better he did it passively than just aggressively

>>17581314
u can always get more savings. whats with your old flame? where do u work

Should I carry on with my relationship.. feel like I'm the one making my girls life worse, she has social anxiety and agoraphobia, as well as a 3 month old child(not mine, met her when she was pregnant). She's beautiful, she has a heart of gold and is great to be around with, but I genuinely feel like I'm making her life worse - I love her and I want the best for her in life and it kinda feels like that me leaving would make her life better.

>>17581351
im in the same boat friend. unfortunately i live with her so i dont want to make strong motions until im moving out. you have nothing to lose, just go for it. regardless of what happens you will be better off having asked her than not

and anxiety doesnt go away, you just learn that its okay to feel it

>>17581360
how are you making it worse?

>>17581376
I can come across rather pushy when wanting to help her with going out and stuff, there's improvement, but I dont notice myself that i can be pushy, not in a bad way, I mean only well.
Also, only option is going over to hers and visiting her, but sometimes it's hard for me to plan due to work and all, which stresses her out as she needs to focus herself for my arrival. The fact that I've missed some late busses before and been forced to stay over before agreeing to anything doesn't make it better. She's coping, but I feel like she could be better without me.
She has post pregnancy depression, she's rather possessive and jealous, where I am a very open, big mouthed sociable person, that hangs out with a lot of female friends, she trusts me and all, but still can have her weird jealous moments. She's prolapsing right now and has a water infection on top of things, so she's constantly on the edge. I was quite pushy once with sex as we've never done it yet, the baby was at the other side of the bed and I thought she wanted it, but I came across a bit pushy and apparently scared her a bit. I dunno, my mind's a bit of a mess, I feel like everything I do is wrong and not good enough, but I really love this girl.

>>17581376
Also, I can be a rather straight up cunt and my opinions can be rather harsh, so we've had a fair amount of arguments, but we've been only together for 4 months.

Stress and anxiety, because of friend who left. Overthinking something that happened on friday, and how nauseous I am from an ongoing problem, I'm head strong sometimes and it's one of the reasons why I haven't gone to the doctor. Also me feeling bad for venting the same problem in vent threads.

>>17581412
it just sounds like youre digging yourself in m8. ive been there too. its the way youre looking at things; if you look for things to be sad about youll find them. stay positive. it sounds like she needs you, or at least could use your help. build your relationship instead of looking for ways to tear it down

I just feel like a dirty bastard lately. about 4 months ago I moved in with my friend and his gf. Found out that they have a weird "open ended/swinger" relationship or something. all three of us were just sitting in the living room watching tv about a week after I moved in and says if I ever want to bang his gf just tell her because she'll probably be down. She imidetaly says I'm a cutie and she wouldn't turn me down. at the time I thought it was just some kind of joke or prank by the two so couple days later I asked him in the most serious way what that was about. I then got the low-down on how weird their relationship works. So about 3 weeks after moving in I gave it a shot and have been fucking my friends gf every couple days since then.

at first I thought this was a great alternative to masturbation, you know have sex but none of the downsides of a gf. But now that I've been doing this for months i just feel like a greasy bastard.

Can't stop being a pathetic bitch after splitting from my now ex-partner last month. I feel stuck.

>>17581370
I'm hoping we can both be a little less shy around each other before I ask her out.

Anxiety is probably the one thing I'd change about me, it seems to affect everything I do

>>17581347
Basically I've saved just enough money to move and pay for training. I was all set for this October but some dude on sleeping pills totaled my car and insurance is paying jack shit so I'm right back where I started two years ago.

>>17581358
I'm 22 and my life is pretty much stagnant at the moment. Living at home in this failing city is killing me right now. I'm considering just skipping out on my dreams, hitting the gym more, and joining the police academy here.

I work at Starbucks. I've been looking for bartending positions to supplement my income and hopefully jump from there. Starbucks gives pretty decent benefits even if they're cutting all our hours.

As for the old flame, she's seven years older than me and married. It was an intense affair. We were pretty close and her friends made implications about her divorcing for me. Her wife found out and eventually put the kibosh on it but we got back in touch as friends a few months back. Over the summer they went on vacation and she made the conscious decision to limit contact with me because it was difficult to maintain it. Whether it was stressing her or her wife out I don't know, but we had both admitted there were still feelings there before then. Recently she came to see me and catch up, telling me her wife was moving back to Cali for a job, then shot me a text admitting she was avoiding me. Then she came into my work again the next day. I'm trying not to think too hard about it because it's not healthy for me but I can't help but wonder. I'll see where things go. Probably nowhere, but I won't be surprised if she does a bad job "limiting our encounters".

My mind has been unrelentingly uncreative for most of 2016. Usually it goes something like this not in any particular order:

>you need a better job
>why are you still alone, your parents had kids by the time they were 19, you're past their age
>playing a video game
>browsing youtube
>should i talk to my 1 friend, i used to have fun talking with him, but he's so predictable now, but i am too, feel like i've asked him anything i ever could have
>i want to create something i can look at in my later years and be proud of, look at what everyone else has done, you lazy fuck you haven't done shit
>moments of happiness where i feel great about my self, i go for walks, i go with few friends i have and family places
>want to lose some weight, lost 10 lbs so far, but still about 15 lbs overweight
>a mixture of not caring about anyone, but realizing i probably seem like a mess on the outside

that's what's typically on my mind, in a disjointed fashion

>>17582169
There's a certain tone and feeling /adv/ has, and I guess I went for the self deprecating, self loathing angle. There's a good market for that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EWLXa5rjjg

I'm so happy Tarantino didn't do this one. His movies are like cartoons. Some are cool, but yea. I'm glad he did Kill Bill, though.

>>17578184
Fastest, quickest, painless way to be an hero that looks like natural death.

im way to anxious to start my 2nd year of uni. It's aparently the hardest year of the course, I hate my schedule, I don't really have friends there and im the only girl in most of the classes.
The only good thing is that a friend of mine is taking the year off so I can contact her anytime of the day..

I seriously cannot stop thinking about how my bf wants to fuck other people. It's not just about porn, I got over him looking at that, but he's moved on to messaging random girls on facebook. I know it's a natural thing for guys (and girls) to look at strangers and feel attracted to them but it's just something that I personally can't understand, and it's really destroying my self esteem. The worst part is the type of women he messages - they're a completely different race and there's nothing I could ever do to be more of what he would want.

I made a thread about this and it of course became a shitstorm of calling me a cunt. So I guess I'll just vent about it here.

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>>17582448

>>17582458
thank you

>>17582448

Go ahead and vent some more if you want. I have been venting about my dilemma for the past three weeks here. I still hurt a lot over it, but it helps me get over it at the moment when I'm able to write it down and have some people talk to me about it. If you want to know, my two posts are the ones with the statue with his hand over his face and the crying feels guy.

If you'd like, you can discuss your problem with me. I'll always post something art or animal related so you know it's me.

>>17582148

So she was/is a lesbian?

>>17582560
Bisexual, but she's even reconsidering that. She opened up and revealed that she's afraid of getting close to men but she's finding that she's not really attracted to women anymore. They've been together for nine years total and their relationship has been heavily strained lately because of it.

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>>17582649

She probably should have thought about getting married. Speaking of which, at what age did she get married? You said she has seven years on you, so it seems like that's a decision she might have made when she was younger.

Don't be embarrassed if she's a little older, say for example mid-late thirties or early forties. I'll be honest and tell you that I have fallen in love with a 51 year old at the ripe age of 18 going onto 19 if that makes it any better. Well, it's a little more complicated than "falling in love" so much as I care for that person a great deal, but you get what I mean somewhat right?

Anyway, spill your beans. I'm all ears.

What always has been on my mind "lately". Gigantic amounts of narcissism and stupidity.

>>17578658
Most of my usernames are from a funny thing Patrick said on that episode where him and Spongebob raise a babby clam

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>>17582676

Hey, that's normal I think. Just think before you act/speak and it should be okay.

All I want in life is a wife and children. seems pretty simple and easy right? I mean practically everyone gets married and has kids.

NOPE! Not easy for me!

>>17582695

How old are you? My mother had me at 35 years old, so it's not too late if you think it is.

Don't rush things though.

Trying to not kill myself and get out of my depression from my recent divorce cause I developed a Chronic sickness that impacted my life way more then I thought it would. She didn't want to deal with it. Also tried new medicine that shut down my kidneys so recovering from that.

>>17582672
She got married the December before last. Basically their relationship was drifting when her wife was in basic training and they'd been talking about marriage so when her wife came back and said let's do it she said "okay" and regrets it.

I absolutely wouldn't be embarrassed to be with her. She's gorgeous and insanely charismatic. We'd make a cute couple: two charismatic, attractive gym rats. My intellectualism balancing her empathy. Both traveling and pursuing our passions.

After we had to stop talking we ended up talking on the phone one more time and she asked "would you want me as your girlfriend?" I said "I don't know. Your past worries me". She's cheated a lot on her wife. I was the fourth person across nine years. Out of five. You can imagine how hurt I was when I found out she cheated again. She claimed it meant more with me but whether or not I believe that is up in the air.

It's really hard to get a read on her sometimes. It's hard to tell what's true, what's a lie, and what I've convinced myself was a lie to get over it. To take things at face value, she's just a flawed individual, stuck in an unhappy marriage, who fell hard for me and has been reconciling that ever since. The narrative I've created is she's a manipulative bitch. But she's always been important to me. Even though I've dated since then and learned what I really want, I've always harbored feelings for her and I feel silly about it.

I really wish I could help my feelings. I've never had a problem getting over someone like this. But nearly a year later I still get red-faced when I run into her.

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>>17582758

That's something you can't recover from easily.

Quite frankly, that sucks. I hope you are able to find some peace in your life, and that you recover well. Doors will open if you hang in there and show that you want to reach out once you've recovered.

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I have a drinking problem, it's making me fat, and fucking with my head. I've dried out today but I'm afraid I'll relapse within the week.

I should graduate in december but if I keep drinking I'm going to fuck that up, and that cannot happen. My campus is small, secluded, and has limited resources for this sort of thing. I also have no transportation.

I have two options.

1.) Hard mode. Use online support groups, the local AA meeting that meets once a week, the schools (not great) therapy program along with daily meditation and exercise (which I struggle to stick with) and pray to fuck that I stay sober. Downside: I've tried this before and it probably won't work. That's not me being defeatist, just realistic.

2.) Easy mode. Go back on 20mg adderall xr daily. Use the extra dopamine to stay disinterested from my main vice (booze) and focus like a fucker on getting good grades and studying so I can crush this last semester while losing weight and staying off the booze. Downside: replacing one addiction for another (caveat, I never dose over the prescribed amount daily, as more than 20mg and I can't eat or sleep and get awful anxiety), not really addressing the root problem.

I'm leaning 2 because rehab (in or outpatient) isn't in the cards for me right now and I (((really))) need to finish school on the track I've got planned. I've taken adderall on and off for years and it's never been a problem for me other than the elevated heart rate and blood pressure, which is annoying but non-life threatening as I have a strong heart. I also get 8 hours of sleep a night while taking it.

Any input, however, would be great. Thanks a lot.

>>17582769

Sounds like you've got a choice.

Either do or don't.

You're obviously willing to give it a go, so don't hold back―however, create a safety net for you to fall back in the case that she does cheat on you. She's already showed signs of a non-committed person, therein showing her indecisiveness about her sexuality.

> My intellectualism balancing her empathy.
That's how I feel about the person I care for too. There's more too, but... it's hard isn't it?

tl;dr Take the chance so then you're not left wondering, but don't be disappointed if it turns sour. Prepare yourself for it to take a turn in that direction for your own good.

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>>17582816

It's too bad you can only go with the temporary plan for you to move forward.

I'm not too familiar with addiction, so I can't really give any helpful advice.

I would agree that it's best to move on with your education, so then you can then focus on getting better and/or getting a job. I wouldn't do both at the same time, but it's really your call. Are you strong enough to take on that challenge later down the road?

>>17578184
> 31, married
> hate life, relationship is dead
> decide to leave wife and start over in a new town
> about to break the news to her
> "anon, i'm 12 weeks pregnant. i told my entire family, and everyone is so excited."
> go to dr's, sure enough, it's legit

... wat do? give up on ever being happy but be the better person and stick around to be a father? tell her to scramble it? get the fuck out and let her do whatever she wants to do?

I am looking for a friend to support each other in becoming the stronger version of ourselves.

Anybody? pls respond

thats whats on my mind

>>17582876
Thanks for responding.

I believe I am. My alcoholism leaves me truly functional about 70% of the time, but given the workload I'm undertaking that would not begin to cut it. Further, I drink obscene amounts, 100+ units a week when I'm off the wagon, and it's not only mentally taxing but physically as well.

I get that doing medicinal crank is also not great for ones physical or mental heath, but the way I use it I've suffered very few ill effects. I have a good job lined up in January and I'll have enough time off in between and resources available to start hitting up AA (a program that while not without valid criticisms I trust can work for me as it has my father who is now 12 years sober), working the steps, getting sponsored, etc.

Afraid of the physical decay of my body as I get older. They were right, it's all downhill after your early twenties.

>>17582900
Get it killed. Nothing worse than bringing another life into this awful world. Just my opinion anyway : (

>>17582900
Telling her to scramble it after she's told the whole family is a disastrous PR move.

Divorcing her (at this point) will make it seem like you're running from fatherhood, not your dead marriage, an equally disastrous PR move.

Staying married for the kid will probably only fuck it up in the long term. My advice? Stick it out for a few years, then dip when the kid is like two and don't do any dumb shit that gives her full custody. Having divorced parents sucks but it's not as shitty as having two parents with you under the same roof who hate eachother's guts. Trust me, the resentments will build and that will be what it comes to should you stick it out that long.

ALTERNATE OPTION

Tell her you want to support this kid, but also say that you're unhappy in the relationship and you want to go to therapy. Depending on the situation, this method might want to wait till after little Hector or Mildred is out of the womb, because that is some stressful shit to hear from husbando while knocked up.

My 2c.

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>>17582900

Looks like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

You should have waited longer. I don't know what to say because you've dug yourself a big hole you don't want to be in. I for one would be brutally honest, but you're going to get lots of hate and it will be hard to return if you do go to a different place. Also, depending on your wife, she might not want to give up the baby, meaning you'd be paying for child support.

What sounds better to you?

>>17582907
Cut all substances, nutritionally balanced vegan diet, regular cardiovascular exercise.

As gay as these changes are, you will live a lot longer, car accidents and random aggressive cancers aside.

>>17582937

>Vegan diet

ew, no. I mean yeah don't eat a steak every day but cutting out all meat even chicken and fish is a bit much

>>17582941
Yeah I feel ya man. My school's dining hall sucks ass so I joined an on-campus veggie coop that gets hella expensive local organic shit.

When I eat vegan I feel way better aside from the farts. Not trying to say don't eat meat because I still fuck a bird up now and then but you do feel great on an all veggie diet and if you know how to cook you can really make some delicious shit with minimal effort.

>>17582949
to clarify i joined that coop then gave veganism a try because i had a bunch of expensive ingredients at my disposal that enabled me to eat that way as i could never afford to eat vegan in a meaningful healthy way otherwise.

could give a fuck about "ethical foods" i just tried it for the health benefits and I definitely noticed a difference.

I really don't get why I'm so hung up on Genna. I mean, there's over 2,000 other girls just in my class, not to mention the countless other women at this place. I guess the fact that she has this whole "alt" personality going for her makes me unable to go my own way, especially considering it's so unlike anyone else on campus.

But real talk, what girl takes a guy's phone from him, gives him her number, does all this nice stuff the first time they meet, then doesn't text back when messaged? I thought it was going well, I thought I made a good impression on her. Her roommate thought the same thing. Yet here I am, alone in my room yet again with nobody to talk to. The weirdest part is, she hasn't even made eye contact with me since I sent her that initial text.

I'm still waiting to see what the hell I did to you in that ten-second span, Genna. You're the only person on my mind right now. Props to Ali though.

>>17578184
I just moved to a new area, and don't really know how to meet friends like myself. Maybe would like to meet a girl too.

Work isn't really much help, because they're all military who are in unhappy marriages and drink to escape.

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>>17582923

I'm down. I need to get a grip emotionally as I wait for some sort of response from the person I care about deeply, but... I don't know.

>>17582914
>>17582923

I would say that getting it killed is the best option. I was born because of two idiots, one needing attention and the other probably drunk, and I have had a really emotionally draining life. Knowing what's most likely going to happen to that child―all that anger and resentment that will build up like I have―it would be a terrible thing to bring a child into.

Even if it looks like you're running away from fatherhood, you're really not, and as long as that's the truth you should be okay with yourself. If people who are pro life give you shit, just know that organs are tinker toys, and that the brain is the only thing that counts when being human. A fetus's brain is not nearly developed enough to be considered human, so you have that way of looking at it as well.

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>>17582958

You'll get settled eventually if you put your mind into it... that is, if you want to make connections there. Got any clubs or anything you could join?

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Just a heads up anons, I'm constantly lurking on this thread, so don't be afraid to come check if your post has been replied to (by at least me).

Sincerely, aching art anon.

>>17582900
I'd say these are you two best options:

>1
Talk to wife, if she's on board abort launch and divorce, play it off as miscarriage. This isn't likely, however, and can introduce some bad dynamics if she wants to keep the kid and "you wanted to kill it".

>2
Have the child, divorce after s/he's born, and try to be as involved in the child's life as possible. You can probably avoid most of the child support, but it will be financially costly.
On the other hand, you get a kid, which can be good/bad.

Oh yeah... there is another option
>dirty/illegal
Discreetly slipping her the abortion pill, since you will have access to her food and presumably her vagoo. This is quite risky, because you will go to jail if it is found out.
From there it would be miscarriage, then divorce.

>>17582970
I wouldn't know where to begin looking, and yeah I would enjoy making some contacts, and hopefully a friend or two here.

I'm in Colorado Springs if anyone knows anything about the area.

>>17582818
Well as I said I have no idea what's going on with her. She told me straight up that being friends was difficult for her and she'd been limiting contact with me because of that. So I replied that I understood her decision, that I was sorry I had made things difficult for her. I figured that would be it.

Seeing her again the very next night, even if only briefly, confused me. She came to my workplace. She was all red and giggly and all I did was ask if she'd gotten everything she'd needed.

She's in another town right now visiting her wife but I'll probably find out this week what's going on if anything. It's really not healthy for me to be this invested though.

And yeah it is hard when you find someone who compliments you so well. Especially with an age gap that clearly means more to them than you.

>>17578184
Whatever that pic is from OP. it's cool

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>>17583017

It's okay to be this invested. As long as it's not taking time away from things you need to do on a daily basis, then be invested. This could be your future wife we're discussing for all you know. Like me, you'll just have to play the waiting game.

I would take her bubbly composure with a grain of salt of course. It would be unprofessional to come into the work place and be all down and emotional/talkative about her private on goings.

>>17583012

Sorry I can't be of help. My grandfather was originally from that area, but he moved during the 60's, so... again, apologies.

>>17583003

If you're worried about saving face, go with option one OP. It's a gamble, but it'd be best to be honest and upfront in my opinion over anything else. I would stay away from the illegal option, but if you're desperate enough, good luck.

>>17583060
No worries, I'll try some googling and see if I can find some clubs or groups.

Her.
And the fear of not succeeding into the career I feel like I've been meant to do since I was 13.

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>>17583091

I've got a "her" on my mind too. Care to share?

Also, what job do you think you want to get into?

Gf just broke up with me saying that we're just "not compatible" after like 5 years of dating. Found out that she kissed one of our mutual friends the night before which at least made the feeling fucking mutual. We were going to do long distance in a couple of years but apparently you cant wait til our lease is up god fucking damn it

>>17583114
Are both of your names on the lease?

Also, sorry.

>>17583101
She's a gal I work with a fews days a week. She's amazing. Down to earth, great attitude towards her job, bubbly personality. She laughs at my jokes and I feel like she's giving me vibes. I want more but I'm too worried about asking her out and my insecurities about myself get in the way say I'm a moron and I'm just confusing friendship.

Job wise, I really want to make films. But after getting out of a program related to film work< i haven't done shit but get a job somewhat associated with the industry. Been there a bit and now I feel like I might be a lifer. I try to write scripts but I tend to lose motivation. Just feeling like I won't even get a foot in the doorstep.

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>>17583117
Sorry to hear that. Shit happens.

>>17583114
You should answer this question anon.

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>>17583124

Have you ever been moved by something that happened to you? Lots of really good stories and scripts come from personal conflict. You can of course take liberties since it's your story and nobody else's. You can even take ideas from others as long it's not blatant plagiarism.

You can add to it over time even and let it develop like a nasty piece of cheese, and then cut out the inedible stuff and turn it into something delicious.

I want cheese now. brb

Whats gonna happen with this girl.

Is it worth it remaining friends? Do I straight up try again?

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>>17583149

Well, what's happened? Weigh the pros against the cons and decide if it's worth it or not.

Sometimes it's better to just let go though, but that's up to you really.

>>17583144
>Catalog
I have ideas and I start them. Then after a 10 pages, I start to fizzle.

I probably just need to just lock myself away and just write.

>>17583117
Hahahaha yep. We agreed that we wont see other people as long as we still live together but fuck if I trust a word she says. Just sucks thinking that you were doing all of you can because you love that person a lot fucking more than they love you.

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>>17583159

Yeah, try the meditation approach. Go nuts and keep writing. You can re-read everything after and go from there.

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>>17583166
It's always heart wrenching when you get your heart broken like that.

I would keep your cool and get out. Punch a pillow and talk someone's ear off who you know you can trust.Or post constantly on here like me.

>>17583155
I posted about her already. It is basically that I am trying see if there is any real chance of it working out between us. If that is the case, would it require time to grow on her? Or what.

1* 6 months without drawing, i knew i was good... could i lost the touch?
2* I'm bored of my routine, but is good.
3* I want a gf, i should get one, i can do it.

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>>17583178
Sorry, someone else probably responded to your post up above if you already talked about her.

Anyway, what do you mean grow on her? What aspect needs growing on? What do you find hard to understand or tolerate about her? Think about the energy you'll have to invest, and then prepare for the worst. It seems like something that you'll have to commit to in order to see how it plays out.

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>>17583195
1. Like bone density, you'll lose it if you don't use it. Practice anon. Refresh your memory.

2. That's like a lot of us, anon. If it's good, stick to it for now, and if you're actively making things better outside of the routine, then it will get better.

3. That's the kind of mindset that can attract women: confidence. Just don't over do it, or else you'll scare them away unless you find someone who can look past your BS and like you for how you are.

>>17583200
Well.. I didn't post about her in this thread. But in others, including one specifically about her.

And I mean more so if feeling for me may begin creeping in. I already feel that there was some interest from her, but not enough to pursue a relationship.

>>17583222

If it's not instantaneous, then I wouldn't be too hopped up on it. If someone needs to grow on you, then it's probably not worth going after because you'll end up unhappy with that person.

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>>17583230
>>17583222

I forgot to post a picture.

>>17583230
Its not so much that it needs to form, but more so that her friend may have forced her to bury the feelings, and they just need to resurfsce

How do I make nausea go away at least temporarily? Been searching for a useful answer on here

Feeling like completely and utter shit....
broke up with gf from 4 years this weekend, went on a binge drinking last night, friend's party with free beer and drinks
hit my car on the sidewalk after loosing control, (actually lucky it didn't turned into a serious accident), but bent the front wheel axle
now with a terrible hangover, feeling like shit, both emotional and body

>>17583250

Now stop and get your shit together.

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>>17583237
I wouldn't force anything then. Play your hand right and you'll be okay I think.

>>17583241
How long have you had it? Are you able to identify the cause or at least have some idea about it?

>>17583259
Yea. Right now u plan on just being friend, and letting it run its course.

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>>17583255
Geez. You needn't dwell on it to a point where you can't control yourself.
>>17583250
This.

>>17583259
>How long have you had it?
Almost 8 months (bad, I know)
I don't know what the cause of the thing in a whole is

>>17583166
O shit, talk to your landlord and see if they're willing to work with you to get your name off the lease?

It's for less than a year, right? Try to encourage her to have a friend move in and take your place or something.

>>17583271
Smoke weed (not joking).

Also, have you seen a doctor about it?

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>>17583271
Any history of family illness? Problems like this before in the family in other words? I would research about it and then consult a professional if possible. 8 months of continuous nausea is a red flag anon. Unless you're pregnant...

>>17583294
Listen to this anon.

>>17583298
I haven't, I'm pretty sure I am going to the doctor soon
>>17583303
I know my mom has some acid reflux, and small things, but nothing like this. There was about a 2 week period where I didn't feel nauseous anymore then it came back. I literally have no idea what's happening anymore because it feels like a muscle spasms or a moving (not bowel moving feeling) feeling in my lower abdomen

>>17581227
>Depends. Why did you get with this girl in the first place? If it was for an objectively shallow reason, then I'm sure it wouldn't affect you as much if you were to break up. I'm assuming you're still fairly young, so there's that as well.

Oh I'm turning 34 in a couple of months. I have a daughter who is 7yo from a previous relationship.

This girlfriend I've known for 5 months, when I met her I thought she was attractive and easy to talk to. She's African so she's exotic looking. She's reasonably intelligent, she says her IQ is 130. That's not higher than me but it's high. She has her own business, an online store. She's got it to a self-sustaining level but she doesn't seem to know yet how to take it to the next level (which would be $500k turnover).

I sort of like her but some things I don't like are she can be aggressive to the point of rudeness. She often wants to win arguments regardless of whether or not what she is saying is right. It's been good having a naturally assertive gf actually because with my daughter's mother I've had to pick my battles and it means I've had to play possum a lot, or at least, that was the strategy I used.

One thing I don't like about her is she seems a bit immature, and a bit needy. Though roughly coordinates with being an independent person, she frequently asks me for advice about things to do with her life. Sometimes we talk on the phone and she says she wants to kill herself. It's just sarcasm, joking... you know exaggerating that she's feeling frustrated about something. And, well, everyone thinks about killing themselves sometime but I just see her having a bit of psychological weakness. I was interested in psychology for a while and i think I understand this. She did have a disrupted early childhood, her mother lived far away and her grandmother looked after her (this was in Africa).

Anyway, I don't think I can be bothered staying with her, though she says she loves me and wants to have children some day.

>>17583313
You shouldn't have waited this long.

Get professional help A.S.A.P.

>>17583324
I know I shouldn't have, I'm a biittttt head strong sometimes. But does anyone have any recommendations on getting rid of nausea

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>>17583322
It seems like you already know what you want to do then.

She's probably got the same sort of baggage I have, but mine came from being dragged around the country as opposed to having to live with one's grandmother. If you know how to approach that (which is be rational and Listen (emphasis on Listen, holy crap)), then it shouldn't be too bad, however, it seems like you already have your heart set on not being with her.

If that's what you feel is best, then drop her. As for her asking of advice, well, I do that too; it's more of a talking to myself sort of thing though because I answer my own question with the next second or so. Each person is different in that way I suppose to some extent. Perhaps she looks to you because she sees you as an opportunity both in wealth, knowledge, experience, and happiness.

But yeah, drop her on her head.

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>>17583333
Stop being head strong. I wouldn't really know besides recommending you take some medicine and then see a doctor. You got it?

>>17583333
I'm not trying to be some edgy 420 faggot, but marijuana is one of the best drugs we have for helping nausea.
Smoke just one bowl or something, don't go overboard.

You also really need to get checked out.
You could very well have a tumor (if it's in the right spot in the brain), or a serious hormone imbalance.

>>17583362
I'll try to find meds, already on omeprozol or however you spell it, for my stomach acid, regardless, thank you

>>17583364
I can't get my hands on that stuff around here, and yeah I honestly got to say something about this

My life is never going to be worthwhile.

I wish I'd grow a pair and kill myself already.

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>>17583385

Ever try volunteering? Doesn't have to be at a soup place for the homeless or whatever. Could be the hospital or something.

Gives you something to distract yourself with.

Honestly, if I don't get into my dream job, then I'm buying a one way ticket to Alaska and disappearing into the woods. It'll be good to know the beauty of Alaskan nature before I freeze to death.

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II want to get fall in love and get married, but I'm concerned about how successful I'll be, despite being young, virile, smart, and handsome

>>17578184
I want to fucking die but I have no real reason to. General frustrations and first world problems. I have a good job and pretty much everything I could reasonably want as a 20 year old but I'm super bored and feel like i'm wasting my time and my life. Also i'm fairly sexually frustrated because I don't want to buy whores and haven't found a girl that I'm interested in. I've been fapping like 2-3 times a day and I still get hard sometimes when I'm at work. I should probably just kill myself or something.

>>17583368
No dude just switch to organic goods from Costco or Natural Grocers. I had horrible IBS/nausea since I was 16. I tried organics when I was about 19-20, switched my diet completely, and feel the best I have ever since

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>>17583513
That kind of love is always a gamble. Are the pros greater than the cons? Are you emotionally stable and willing to improve yourself along with your partner who would do the same to the best of their abilities?

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>>17583522

Are you going to school? Are you doing something that will help change your life in the long run?

>>17583525
Why not be safe and try everything? Perhaps a combination of a few could help fix you up? I recommend going to the doctor first, but, uh, well, your body.

>>17583551
>Are you going to school? Are you doing something that will help change your life in the long run?
not in school. Have a career at a great company, and study independently to become a mathematician. Literally no time for school. I have like 4 free hours in my whole day including the 1hr lunch at work. I don't really give a fuck about my life in the long run anymore. I don't want to do anything. I just want to fucking die already. I'm tired of being alive.

>>17578184
I can`t understand why people still have kids.

I`m pretty sure they know the suffering, the emptiness and boredom that most part of life gives. I know that behind conception there is a selfish reason that seeks pleasure/social validation, but come on, I wonder why rationality can`t prevail.

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>>17578217
R u me

>>17583537
I think I can say yes and yes with complete honesty

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Have ADHD so learning has always been tough for me.
>suffer anxiety for no reason and dificulty focusing
>barely scraped out of HS
>22 and finally decide to do something other than retail.
>only source of interests and most of my friends have lied within computers.
>mom and dad fund me to go to a specialized school for people wanting to become IT/Desktop support specialists who have disabilities like mine.
>for once in my life feel capable and confident with myself, think that I can conquer my disability and decide to go with it
>first few weeks in seem alright and I can keep up with the learning content.
>now its getting harder and more complicated than I can handle. cant back out now either.
>parents already paid alot of money and believe that I can do it.
>stress, anxiety, and low self esteem start coming back up.
dont know what to do and scared. feel like offing my self but too much of a pussy so I am stuck in a perpetual cycle of dread right now.
Any thoughts or advice?

>>17583607
Find release, like exercise

>>17583613
I fear going outside dude. Especially where I am at.

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>>17583576
Okay, then try your hand.
>>17583556
Ever tried something new? You said you were studying independently, so maybe you could take that time off instead and find a new hobby, learn a language, or draw/paint. Read a book or write stuff down like a journal.
Or not. You could kill yourself instead. I don't how, but I'm sure you could kill yourself in a way agreeable to you. If you go to Alaska and freeze like I might do, and if things do go south, then maybe I'll find your body and think, "Hm, maybe this was that miserable anon I spoke to that one time when I was posting to help distract me from grieving that one time."
>>17583566
Objectively speaking, it's to continue our species.
Subjectively speaking, it is for one if not all of those reasons you listed. Look at Japan. The generation that was supposed to have kids isn't putting out, and the population itself is therein shrinking. Kind of scary/sad, but at the same time the generation before that that isn't largely religious is generally reliant on fitting into the societal norm, which is why it's become what it is today. For example, the person who I'm in grievance over had discussed this with me, and that person made it clear that was the purpose of life for that person.Not for religion, not for vanity, but for continuing on for the sake of the society that one was brought into. When you don't believe in a deity or some other greater force, you don't have much other than what you have at your feet. The eventual result is that one tends to consider children as a part of their world invaluable to their duty/meaning in life.
Either belief produces children. It's at its purest form for survival as a species, but humans won't stop there. An educated choice to have children is highly encouraged, but to stop having them entirely is the death of everything we know. Of course I want it to be regulated, but it's also a basic right that people choose to make for a number of different reasons which can't be helped.

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>>17583620
>>17583607

What about inside your own home? Turn on some good music you like and lift weights, or jog around your backyard or even your room.

>>17583647

This. Also, take some time to watch a funny show or movie often. It'll help lift your spirits.

Finally told my mom that I seriously considered suicide after nearly getting expelled from college and that I've been lying to her about having friends for the past two years. She took it pretty well, although she pretty much forced me back into therapy/medication and now walks around on eggshells whenever I'm in the room. She told me that I don't have to finish college and can still live a good life like my uncle or a bunch of her friends, but they all grew up in a different time before a college degree was an entry-level requirement. The thought of being a NEET keeps me up at night, but I also loathe my college and pretty much everyone there. My therapist suggested talking to people who might look lonely, but I've put myself out there quite a lot these past few years and it always left me with a bruised ego. I'm also not too keen on going back to that literature club since I'm almost certain that the people there don't like me or are weirded out by me, and they're supposed to be accepting of the weird kids. I don't know. I guess I'll just slog through two more years of this crap and hope for the best. Also my dad emailed me a bunch of times this week, but he used to sexually abuse me as a kid and I gave up on him a long time ago.

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>>17583716

Forgot to add to this. Have you told your instructors about your struggles? While you have anxiety problems, please try to let them know if you haven't. They should be understanding, given the type of school you're attending. Not everyone learns the same way. There will be times in your life when you will need to communicate with other people.

Please don't give up on schooling, I think it will work out for you in the end. Try your best and always remember that it never hurts to ask for help. You're only 22, don't give up on yourself. Trust me, your 20's are not your best years; you will be spending much of the decade figuring yourself out, so don't be so hard on yourself. Try to avoid comparing yourself to others and just focus on you. Remember, anons are here to talk if you need it.

It's 4:41am here and I don't want to sleep.

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>>17583733
Just hang in there. If your dad abused you and didn't try to come to terms, then it's probably bad ju-ju for you to keep in contact with him.

>>17583739
Listen to this anon.

>>17583740
I might be doing an all-niter myself. it's 0050 right now where I am. How long have you stayed up in the past? At most I've stayed up for three days in one go a few times. That's not something to be proud of...

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Okay, well, I'm going to say this just in case the limit hits.

I like talking with all of you anons, or at least hearing your problems. I know I myself have been hurting, and sometimes we just need a distraction or place where we can let it all out.

I'll still be lurking on US Pacific time since I have to do a power point presentation. Nothing rigorous, but it has to be done.

Anyway, keep posting.

Signed,

aching "heArt " anon

>>17583642
Finding a mate for life is no easy task and frankly has me almost stumped

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Been a shut in for almost 11 years now. Never felt depression nor sadness. I chat up a lot of under age girls and even scored one off the internet. I also have this fucked up yandere stalker to keep me on my toes.

Let's see. What else, ah yes; I get paid a good 2k a month for doing nothing. I play games, sleep, shit, eat and repeat. The predictability of does get boring. I am confident i'll get a job and have a decent apartment at some point. Don't care about a fancy house or 250k a year. A computer and gaming consoles is all you need and some side pussy.

I keep to myself on internet nowadays. Suppose to meet up with some chick at a con in november. Life is great but been craving some social interactions. 11 years can do that to a man.

Also, this is a great year for gaming in general. More reason to squander the years away.

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>>17583755
Stop being like me.
c:

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>>17583759
It's all on you. How much do you want it? Like anything else, you're going to have to work on it. It's like privilege, except this time it's another human being and not an object. Understand that.

To be honest with you, I don't plan on ever having a family or girlfriend for the matter. I plan to be alone so then I dedicate myself to... whatever I want. I had an experience recently that was close to changing my mind, but I blew it. It was in no way sexual, but I showed vulnerability and another person saw it, thus having it take a turn for the worse (look in this thread for the statue with his hand over his face and the crying feels guy If you want to know more). If you're feeling bad about yourself, just think of me and you'll realize you're not in that much of a corner you think yourself to be in.

>>17583770
I would like this to be bait. If it isn't, well, that's fine too.
Your lack of interaction or perhaps an inborn lack of something greater leaves you with that vacancy where those emotions would fill.

I would hope that your fetish is that one that one where it focuses on almost adult girls as opposed to pedophilia, as I hate the notion that any young girl or boy gets hurt in any way shape or form because of complete selfishness. Judging from your picture it seems to be that way, so at least it's within a standard that was normal until medicine allowed people to live longer.
You live your life, and as long as you're not hurting anyone I can't say anything outright. Just be careful with fire.
As for games, I kind of lost track of that whole scene. i still like them a lot, but time demands my studying of the sciences over anything else at this point in my life.

>>17583774
no u

>>17583796
It's not that I feel bad about myself, it's more that I'm trying to solve a problem that is both difficult and very abstract. As a result, I can't help but balk a little bit. I really see no other way than to just let my existence and aspirations be known, whilst taking steps to be worthy of marring the kind of woman I want, which seems far from foolproof. I also question how to discern potential mates, given I think these women probably won't stand put as much, and if my heart can take a serious reversal

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>>17583818

Right right, it's not about societal validation, it's about you. No one can even begin to think that they can predict the future. There are too many cases where people have met coincidentally and marry for you to be worrying so much, but then again that's like flipping a coin and hoping for it to land on its side.

I can't give you any solid advice other than keep your head up, and be willing to dive head first into the mixed bag that is love and relationships. You may never find the love of your life or a mate you deem worthy, but as a young man who is depending on his own volition and the government (financial aid), I have only one thing that I can recommend that I use in an effort to keep going, and that's hope. Mind you, it's a curdled, perhaps distorted and rotted kind of hope you'd find under an old cabinet in a garage decrepit and forgotten, but it's hope none the less.

I would suggest you let it alone, but that's up to you, and you don't seem to be the one for letting up on this. What do you think you can do? You've already named one thing, but any other ideas? Websites, blind dates or the like?

Wondering why I am so concerned by other's opinion on me and why people are jackasses sometimes.

A girl likes me and I find her pretty attractive but boring and a bit annoying sometimes, but on other hand I feel like it's an only chance to get a gf who isn't fat or cray cray. I kinda give her a cold shoulder but she's still trying. I feel like I should give her a chance.
I also still didn't get over a crush I have on one of my best friends

I'm just glad all the other stuff like with uni and work and my health problems is going just fine

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>>17583842

Try actively practicing by showing no change of opinions through everyday dialogues. Apply stoicism in your life. Then you can begin to understand just how far you can get by realizing that nothing matters, period.

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>>17583865
I recommend not getting together with someone who annoys you. You'll start to regret your decision and look down on them like they are a child, not your significant other.

A girlfriend can wait. Your happiness comes first, and you shouldn't get a girlfriend just for the sake of it.

This reminds me of this one thread on /adv/ where the OP wanted to have sex with this woman he found very unattractive at a party just so then he could say he had sex because he thought that he was too late or something to that extent (he was 22 if I remember correctly).

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>>17583880
*and will start not to treat her as your significant other--is what I meant

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>>17583880
>dat winged hussar picture
Nice

I guess, that's what I've been thinking lately, it can wait, even though I'm 23 already and besides of having some one-night things I never got it on with girls. No idea how a relationship works, so I thought that maybe a lot of people "settle" for somebody even though they annoy them sometimes etc. and strong emotions die off after some time anyways so it's okay to get into something without them. Still, the girl is older than me yet I feel like I'm the older one, she stresses over stuff like she's fresh out of HS or something, gets excited about stuff I don't get excited about at all, has a different lifestyle than me, I think we're not a match at all. Shame but I guess I'll wait for another opportunity. If it happened a few times, maybe it can happen again, this time with somebody who I feel I match...

On another note. It's pretty frustrating that when I think I'm matching well with a girl (like we have similar lifestyle, make the same jokes often at the same time, got similar tastes and hobbies, etc.) she doesn't think so. Not that it happens often, it's really rare actually, maybe girls who match me are just bound to be dreaming of unreachable prince charming whom I'm surely not (two times I got a crush, the girl was like "I don't feel THAT with you, I only felt THAT with one person"; in one case the one person was a guy from another cuntry she only knew on the internet, and in another it was a fictional guy. lol)

At least the weather is super comfy today.

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>>17583957
Yeah, you'll dodge a bullet for sure.

Playing the waiting game can sometimes pay off, but then again if you're actively looking or at least keeping an eye out, then you should be okay.

It's in the middle of the night where I am. Still have that presentation to do. At least you have nice weather in your area, right? Right.

>>17583985
I'm sure weather will be comfy in the morning at your place too and that you'll do fine on the presentation. Thanks and good luck anon!

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>>17583992

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>>17583870
Thank you.

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I lost the girl I love after three years of treating her shit and being a paranoid little bastard, and now I'm oscilating wildly between "Maybe the therapy and the fitness and the new job will make me excellent" and "But that's still not gonna get her back fuckhead"

>MFW burst of optimism

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>>17584036
Are you beating yourself up over this unnecessarily? What did you do? Were you that clingy or controlling?

Just lack of sleep and money, pretty sure I'm getting caffeine from somewhere so I'll stop that and After I look at my next paycheck I'll budget accordingly

otherwise I'm fine, the girl I have a crush on is flirting with me, I want a better job but the one I have is great, I moved away from my mom that was causing me most of my anxiety, really can't complain. I do live down south so the alabama pipe line shit is gonna suck but I know how to hunt down gas stations

>>17584036

Neglectful, suspicious, paranoid (which I'm now in therapy for), jobless (fixed that) and generally underappreciative

>>17584057
Also was a bit too flirty with a mutual friend/former flame who I then freaked out at and basically threatened to get her to keep it quiet. This girl then became besties with my now-ex and told her everythig, which was the straw that pulverised the proverbial camel

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>>17584097
Try to keep your cool next time. And don't do any of that in the first place so then you're not tempted. Take this as a lesson and improve yourself, or else risk going through the same thing over whenever you get into a relationship.

I lost my cool for the person I'm grieving over, and I think I screwed up everything between us... I just hope I'm wrong, but I did learn not to do it again. Take it as it is and better yourself. you obviously weren't ready for a long term relationship anyway.

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>>17584071

Good on you for getting things together and making it better for yourself. Hope things go well.

>>17584120
Oh yeah I'm improving the FUCK out of myself.

But I hope that I can bring her the new, improved me one day in a few months or so and that we can start again from the beginning.

She deserves it.

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>>17584147
You're obviously still angry over it. Keep your distance and "improve the FUCK" out of yourself without her in mind as a goal. You're already displaying an unhealthy obsession over her in that you are talking like you will get her back indefinitely. I don't know the nature of your relationship one bit, no sir, but I would hope that your cognition would help serve you better. Honestly, you need to address your own problems and question your own reasoning before getting back into anything. You being suspicious for a most likely unwarranted reason is proof enough that you need to change and leave her alone; that is, unless she wants to be with you. However, I wouldn't force anything because you'll only push her away further.

I want to stop smoking so much weed
I want to talk more with that girl in my psychology class who keeps talking to me
I want to stop being so introverted
I want to break my dry spell

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>>17584175

You can do it. Take deep breaths when you speak to that girl. Even be up front and say hey, I'm no good with small talk, sorry about that. She'll be like okay! And then from there you can take control or leave it as it is.

I'm not familiar with drugs and recover, so I couldn't comment on that. Sorry.

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>>17584182
thanks.
my actual issue is finding someone during these 4 years that I can connect with in a school full of suburban kids and country hicks. I spent 20 years of my life living in the city and now I go to a uni out in the middle of fucking nowhere. Every girl here seems respond to guys who wear underarmor, chew tobacco, drive trucks, and listen to country music. I feel/look like a fish out of water.

This girl actually initiated a few brief conversations and she feels a bit different, than most of the women here. Not trying to get my hopes up too much but it makes me feel good about trying to get through another week. Really hope she's worth looking into.

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>>17584194
Cool. Hang in there, yeah?

Also, next time you want to save a gif, don't save the thumb nail.

>>17578184
how the world will turn out
will I ever get a gf and be normal, doing normal stuff
will the shitskins be purged from europe anytime soon
will the whites survive the next 100 years
is it worth to live at all in this age?

>>17578184
Will I ever grow up to become Alec Guinness

Have to take a greyhound bus back home and I am scared of getting lost.

>>17578905
>That's fucked up. I know this sounds like BS, but I have some experience with seeing ghosts, and she is, or will be, in a better place.
Is this cringy shit supposed to make me feel better?
Jesus christ man

>ay bruh i get you are sad your mum is kill but i see ghosts, things will be A-Ok

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I'm 22. My LDR gf just created changed her status to in a relationship with me. I accepted but idk if I should've just kept it secret for a bit longer. It's been 7 months so I feel bad that's it's been so long. Probably should just stop being a pussy. Idk if I should be worried about anything? Ik people will give me shit over a LDR but I don't think anything bad can happen...

>>17585112
>LDR gf
Oh boy you are in for a ride.

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>>17578184
Im never gonna find anybody.

I don't know if I actually saw her today, or if it was just someone very similar to her.

Who ever it was, we locked eyes for a few seconds in passing

>>17585125
Story?

>>17585146
It just doesnt work.
No story about that.
i tried, twice.
The everlasting stream of whatsapp messages and god knows how many phone calls and all that stupid shit will start to annoy you once you really feel like you are falling in love.
at this point you will notice that you need to see her more often, but cant. this will eat you up worse than hitler.
You will start to argue more, ecspecially on instant messaging since everything gets taken the wrong way and slowly but steadily you will start to get annoyed by just the fact she messaged you twice in half an hour.
More fights will ensue and you will break up, or as normal people call it, block eachother on whatsapp

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>>17578184
After getting badly sick twice now in my life I have anxiety attacks whenever I'm forced to be in a confined space with a sick person.
Today I walked out of a class because a guy two seats to my left admitted to feeling like shit, was red-faced and constantly holding his face in his hands and coughing. Couldn't deal. It used to be that even frequent coughing or sneezing were enough to set me off, but I'm well past that point. However, whenever anyone looks as shit as he did I can't handle it; especially when they say something that confirms the suspicion.

Firstly, what the fuck is he even doing in class? We're well into the semester and our college gives you like 5~6 days to miss per-class, so go the fuck home and drink some soup or something. This shit happens all the time, in and out of school, it's true, but it doesn't make it any less inconsiderate.

Secondly/Long term: part of me is considering just finishing my diploma online because, while part of me wants to go on-campus to socialize the rest of me is A: tired of travel/eating-out expenses, B: sick of shit like this, and C: well, frankly this is my second lap through college. After having worked for 4+ and nearly getting a bachelors once prior (I have a Lib. Asc.) I'm easily 8-12 years older than like 90% of the people in my classes. The potential for socialization is minimal, and now nearly two months in I've made no acquaintances.
If I did the other classes online I could also look for a job with more hours; maybe socialize there.

Worst part is I really like the professor and class this happened in too, and feel like an ass for bolting. Strangely though, this is like the fourth/fifth case of someone seeming ill in that class specifically; none of the other classes so far.

Close to having a panick attack from a dipshit guy who just picks fights for attention.

>>17585183
Those are the people i'd stab if it happens to me.

I kinda wonder what she thinks when I text her every once in a while.

We are not particularly close, but can carry a conversation for hours without issue

>>17585183
Has he ever actually gotten into a fight, or does he just prod people expecting them to back down?

>>17585160
I know a guy who's lived four hours away form his GF for the last six years and they're moving in together in Dec. and getting married in Feb.
Never say never.

>>17585195
Don't know about physical fights. I was talking about arguments. I'm not in a good place myself.

>>17585207
Oh, then just ignore them/give minimal feedback. If it's someone you're obligated to address just react directly and openly to anything they do/ask, and if they're being overly combative or obtusely sardonic just say something to calm the deal; "No biggie man," or "Relax, I'm on it," as calmly and cheerily as you can.

Then, even if they do continue to be an asshat onlookers will see them as the agitator and you as the level-headed cool guy. Even if you just respond with short answers, doing so calmly and directly will put you head and shoulders over any sort of antagonistic bastard in the eyes of any onlooker.

If it's not happening in a work/school environment, politely tell them to shove off, and if they persist report them to the lowest present authority or just get increasingly more stern with them.

Never get angry though, that's what they're there for. If you don't feed the fire it'll burn out.

>>17585230
Thanks man.

I still have no clue how some people get a kick out of making others angry.

>>17585275
Generally they're starved for attention; and/or it's the first and best way they learned how to get it. Abuse, neglect, or just bad early-life experiences; even mild ones, can make people unconsciously chose confrontations to validate their presence.
Which, they're still being an ass-hat; it doesn't matter why. I'm no bleeding heart, that's just usually why.

It's really stupid. A few years ago, I went on a travel forum and made a thread asking if it would be worth considering emigrating to Europe someday because I like the society more. I didn't trash the U.S. or act arrogant about it, but I still got my ass handed to me and was mocked by several people. I couldn't handle it and deleted the thread.

It would be nice to know what I did wrong, but I can't think of anything, even if I try. It's like a trap to me now because getting worried about something so trivial is childish, but I have to keep thinking about it because I must be missing something obvious. Were they misunderstanding me? Was my idea really that stupid by itself? I guess I'll never know.

>>17585324
You just dont move to another country you turd, there are immigration laws like your country has. Did you even bother reading up on that before you made that bread?

>>17585295
You're right. Seems any attention is good, even negative.

>>17585354
I know that immigration laws are notoriously difficult to work with, but it's not like I was planning to move on the spot. I was just asking if emigrating into a society you feel more at home in is worth the hassle of all that. If the answer is just "No", I could see why. I know going from America->Europe is difficult, but it's never seemed impossible to me.

>>17585354
It's not impossible but depending on where you go there is the issue of being able to adapt yourself to a different society and eventually blend and be accepted. I live in Japan and there is no way in hell they'll accept me as another one of them even if I am working a regular full time job with a decent command of the language and paying taxes etc. The important thing is I already recognize this and just ignore it but fuck it's almost impossible to make friends.

>>17585195
Yes. I think it will work. We both come from pretty wealthy homes. She's going for a Msc in Architecture and I'm going for CyberSecurity. I think it doesn't work a lot of the time cuz a lot of people get too clingy. It's pretty much the same as any other relationship. Timezones prevents us from expecting to take every minute, which is good cuz real life with jobs and shit is like that. Besides I'm busy with class and internships atm so Ig I'm glad that she's LDR for the moment.

>>17585412
Do you like the feel of the society or do you feel you're not absorbed in it at all? From my understanding, no matter where you go you'll always be known as "The American" (or the Brit, or what have you), but I would expect the most populous countries in Europe to be pretty accommodating. It must be near impossible for a Westerner to fully assimilate in Japan.