why are you still a virgin /adv/ ?

>>17569075
does butt virginity count?

>>17569075

Just mine recently, nothing really changed, feel a bit less insecure, no longer crave having a girlfriend. I guess I feel pretty free.

I had a girlfriend when I was 19, dated since the middle high school. I really thought she would be my first and was planning for it, looking back I think we both were but I might just be over thinking things.
Anyway, a car accident put me in a wheel chair and ultimately over a year (and still some continued) rehab. She left me in the middle of it, saying it was "too much" and she dint sign up for this. She went away to school, due to the hospital stay I started a year late and lived at home because living in a dorm like this wasnt even worth it. No girl wants to go home with the guy in the wheel chair, so I dont go to clubs or parties all that often and stay at home
21 years old, kiss less virgin, havent had a GF since then

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>>17569093

I'm afraid of getting pregnant, I'm already paranoid

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I still live at home with my parents and older brother. There is basically zero privacy here and even if there was I feel like saying "I still live with my parents" is at best embarrassing and at worst a mood killer. Im probably just being superficial but I want to get my own place first and have sex under the conditions I want. I keep telling myself as soon as I move out it'll be easier but im just shy as fuck

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>>17569107
I could finish in your butt baby

Because adult virgins are seen as worse than trash, and this destroys any shred of confidence that ever pops into my head, which completes a feedback loop of perpetual self loathing.

>>17569107
dude, this though
two of my friends were total Chads in high school, teased me and my other mate about getting our letters to wizard school before long, and they both knocked up their girlfriends. Over the course of 9 months I saw them less and less, become hollows of their former selves and see 4 lives and ambitions die over night. It scared me celibate and im not ashamed to admit it

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>>17569093
im sorry dude

>>17569113
Thanks breh
>>17569123
I agree. Little kids and babies are adorable, but I would only have sex if my partner and I are willing to take the risk and have a backup plan

>>17569093
Sorry to hear that man. I didn't lose my virginity until I was your age and I didn't have the wheelchair excuse so don't feel bad about it. You will find someone. Just put yourself out there and have fun with it.

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>>17569177
>Just put yourself out there and have fun with it.
Yeah don't forget to lift weights and bee yourself too

>>17569119
There's this little thing called lying that really helps with that. It's not as if people can smell your virginity or tell just by looking at you. If they don't ask then you don't even bring it up.

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>>17569182

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>>17569093
I feel a little better about my life now

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>flirt with a girl
>we hit it off pretty well, she seems friendly and really cute
>go for it, ask if she wants to go out and maybe get some coffee
>"Oh anon, sorry I have a boyfriend..I jst thought you were being nice"
ever tim

>>17569189
I didn't choose to be salty, the salty life chose me

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>>17569093
>GF leaves in the middle of that
this is why I hated dating when I was younger. they all thought we'd get married one day, didnt want to have sex, and would run at the first sign of trouble or better yet make the situation worse

I always assume the girls I like have a boyfriend already and I just give up.

>>17569244
Many of them probably do. Try anyway.

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>have serious anxiety before talking to women (assuming I even talk to them)
>self conscious about how ugly I am
>don't know how to make a move with women I'm already comfortable talking with
Basically, I'm a social retard.

All that were avaiable were ugly and easy. Nah mate, I can carry that virgin badge with no problem

Can't socialize normally due to anxiety, avpd and dissociation issues. Get emotionally disconnected if a girl gets close or makes physical or sexual contact with me and i cant even make progress because of this.

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I don't know how to ask a girl for sex.

Or I'm too afraid. I'm afraid if I ask it's going to be a PC girl who will scream, yell it on the internet, and ruin my life forever.

I feel like I've gotten conversations rolling, did some groping, but girls usually leave me. I always fearfully ask myself, was it because we didn't smash quick enough?

>>17569994
Honestly this. Do you ask or should it just kind of happen

It's a really open-ended question that for most virgins doesn't have one concrete answer to point too, but I guess the biggest factor for me is that I simply never tried.

I'm 22 now and have spent the majority of my time isolated since I was around 14. Despite this, I actually think I'm a relatively well-adjusted person and can hold my own for the most part in social circles, but the way I've fallen behind in the more tangible aspects of my life (employment, education, independence etc.) makes the game that much more daunting to dive into and play.

I'm sad.

I don't care enough about sex to fuck the girls that are in my league nor am I attractive enough for girls I like to make the first move.

>>17569994
>>17570143
I find its circumstantial. Never just flat out be like "want to fuck me?", but ask "you want to hang out sometime" and if youre already groping and kissing, do that for a few minutes and ask if she wants to go upstairs
if she freaks out youre well within the right the be like "wtf did you think this was, of course these actions are going to lead to me trying to fuck you"

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I want my first time to be special ok?
I dont want my friends to set me up with a girl, flat out saying "hes shy lol can you fuck him and get it over with", it makes me feel like a loser and id rather have no sex then pity sex. I want to be attracted to her, I want it to be under the conditions I want. I dont think this is too much to ask and I dont care if it is. I dont want to say my first time was with a hooker or some shit either, im already 21 so at this point im like fuck it, ill just keep waiting

im an ugly cunt

>>17570462

You going to 30+ still waiting for it to be special when the first time doesn't really matter all that much.

waiting for after i get my degree, and waiting for a long term committed relationship

also i'm beta but at least i'm not overwhelmingly beta anymore

>>17569075
I don't.
But last time I had sex was back in 2008 with my first and only gf.
I suffer from premature ejaculation so I was never able to make her cum in our year long relationship and she eventually dumped me.
After that my self-esteem plumed to the ground and now I'm too scared to approaching any other women in fear the same would happen all over again.

I'm an attractive person and I've had the opportunity more than once. Unfortunately I have a vagina phobia. Not even kidding, women turn me on but I can't stand the sight of a vagina due to some traumatic shit that happened to me as a child. So I might just be celibate my whole life.

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>>17569274
This, also very fucking dumb. The ones I liked either didn't like me back, wanted to stay virgins for 10 more eras, made false promises about it but left me over inconsequential shit, or the worst of it all - were too far away.

I'm considering giving whores a try more and more.

Honestly feel worse than before, left me craving more. It's a starting point, not a finish line

>little interest in vanilla sex; never gotten off to vanilla porn in my entire life
>submissive
>straight male
>female dominants are the most niche BDSM subgroup by far
>live in a piece of shit conservative town that doesn't have a BDSM scene of any kind and practically no online presence
>persistent mild depression
>independent loner in daily life who needs solitude by the bucket load to operate normally; can't really stand people in my personal space

Yeah, this is going to take a while.

Because I don't care about other people enough to form relationships with them.

I'm single, happy, and can get myself off.

Why ruin that?

>>17569075 (OP)

>asked some girls out in middle school
>got rejected, they told their friends, I got bullied
>fear even, to make a fault by shaking hands or hugging a girl
>family asked me every day, when I bring a girl or if I'm gay
>now they often say I'm lazy, socially dumb and a shut-in
>can't make friends with guys, because I find their behaviour towards women stupid
>can't make friend with women, because I fear asking them questions and saying dumb things

>>17570661
Try finding sensible women online. Chat, have serious conversations, whatever. It's possible and much less scary than RL. Will probably ease you into the right mindset.

I am comfortable and content with being with myself and I feel no need to be around another person 24/7.

Some penis in vagina action would be cool from time to time, but then I just jerk off and the thought and desire of being close to someone immediately evaporates as soon as I'm done.

I was never "in love" whatever it means so I don't find the concept of holding someones hand while walking or going to sleep with someone beside me amusing.
Friends are enough for me to share my interests, views, and hobbies with other people, and I get my peace and solitude at home with no one bothering me.

I don't see why would I need anyone else

>>17570668
Thanks, I will try that. Lately I've been talking with a girl I grouped up at a university lecture, she told me that she thinks that I'm smart, because of my knowledge at the beginning and we had some nice conversations after I loosened up. Few days later she got a boyfriend and all she is doing now, is talking about her bf and where they go on vacation, askes me to take the sheets in alone or postpones important meetings with me, because she stays over at his place or something else, like it would be bad to meet up with me. All I want is a female friend to talk to. Sometimes when I make a mistake when I talk to somebody or some girl was looking at me, I would feel bad afterwards or even cry and slap myself for beeing a loser. I don't even want sex, just someone that undestands me and doesn't hurt me.

Because I mostly like guys but I'm too afraid to be gay because of how conservative my town is.
And because the 2 girls I've been attracted to didn't like me back.

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>>17569075
That question has multiple answers in my case, but I guess that the core one is that I never had the courage to approach girls that I happened to like during my teens, and nowadays I am too much of a socially awkward sperg with other mental issues to feel comfortable or even on an equal footing with a girl of my age, or even younger ones.
For fuck's sake, my 3 year old younger sister has more experiences with this shit than I do.

4chan, and a recent personal experience has also jaded me to the point where I have hard time trusting women in the first place. At this point I feel like it is too late for me, and I should just accept the fact that I'll be a forever alone virgin for the rest of my life. It is hard to accept though, because I do wish that I'd some day, have my own family and children, but as it is, I doubt it will ever happen. I have already told my parents that they shouldn't expect to get grandkids from me.

27.m
Because I think about things too much, I can not separate sex from relationships. Try as my reptile brain might, I just can't do hookups or one night stands. I know there are consequences to actions and I don't want to get a woman pregnant if I'm not ready for it.

That and I'm very picky about who I actually want to pursue. If I didn't care, I would have been in a relationship and had sex many years ago. I can tolerate most people fine but I've found that there have been only a few girls who ever piqued my interest. And if I'm not really interested in them, I'll get bored so quickly.

I also live in a more rural area so finding said person who is single is almost impossible.

So I work on myself for now: study, get better job, work out, lose weight. And hope that I'll find what I'm looking for some day. Fully aware that I might end up pulling a Tesla and marrying a pidgeon (or in my case, a robot waifu).

I'm a 25 year old female but I could still pass as a 12 year old. I worry that will put guys off..

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>>17570736
How?

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>>17570736
There is a sizable population of dudes on 4chan who would fuck a 12 year old, or even younger girls, if it was not illegal as fuck.
This is a god damn weeb animu site m8.

Im not into guys around my age (im 20) and im not very social

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>>17569093

>>17570704
If she's more of a frustration and drain than a good friend, bail and don't look back, man. It sounds like you're getting more BS from that deal than anything good. Besides, she might realise how much she values you if you start cutting her off. As things stand, she takes you for granted and she really shouldn't.

>>17570736
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>>17570704
>Few days later she got a boyfriend and all she is doing now, is talking about her bf and where they go on vacation, askes me to take the sheets in alone or postpones important meetings with me, because she stays over at his place or something else, like it would be bad to meet up with me.
she's using you like a doormat.
you ok with that?

>>17570736
post pics ?

I'm 24 and I was born with cerebral palsy that afects my coordination. I can live a normal life but I always had a low self esteem and I'm a little shy too. The most far I got with a girl was my crazy ex that gave me a half of a handjob.

What's the point of this thread?

Not sure, even though I have a gf.
I think it's mostly because she's not all that attracted to me at the end of the day.

>>17570752
>>17570757
Of course I'm not okay with the way she's acting towards me, somtimes she would take me with her and her friends for lunch, only to let me sit next to her and her bf, while she talks with him and I'm left out eating without talking to anyone. But I have to rely on her, because there are like only ten people in this lecture and I we have to put in our sheets in groups of two, so I can't go out of her way and others already are in groups. I would see her at least three times a week even if we wouldn't work together and I can't change the departement I am, because it's very unique and I would have to kill my specialization I worked on for a long time. I have almost nobody to talk to, my studies take very much time of my day and most of the people are guys, I can't socialize with - I tried so many times. Sometimes I just find no motivation and don't know what to do in my future. I want to bail out of everything, I can't even find friends or talk normally with girls.

Gave up on love and or any sex 100 percent when I couldn't lose my virginity in high school. Older torn up pussy is not worth it in my mind.

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>>17569075
I used to be really sexually desperate as a teenager but it mainly just became a fantasy to have sex, like an unattainable dream. I'm introverted so I don't really spend time with people.
I eventually came to terms with that and just enjoy my life how it is.
I give so little fucks now that over the past year I've had a couple of girls approach me and I just kind of made friends out of them. I've got no real desire to have sex, and jacking off has always been an option and I feel like getting to jack off at my own pace and not have to worry about another person's pleasure or rhythm is more satisfying for me.
I'm not asexual or anything like that now, I just feel like that dog that's been teased by girls fake-throwing the ball a little too much, to the point that if they ever actually did throw it, I wouldn't run after it.

>>17570766
>The most far I got with a girl was my crazy ex that gave me a half of a handjob
>half a handjob
Wow, I'd argue that's even worse than 0 experience. That fucking sucks.

>>17570736
My girlfriend is like that, and I love her for it.
Don't worry, there are a metric fuckton of guys that are into that. You might not be able to seduce Chad but you could very likely get with a smart guy. Like a guy studying to be a doctor or some shit.
Liking small girls is definitely not exclusive to 4chan, and I'm sure everyone you pass by thinks you're fucking adorable.

>>17570746
Are you into younger or older guys?

I am 23 and at this point it's way too late for me. I am a grade A student, about to get a decent job, slightly chubby, but not that bad. I am not a social retard, i can talk to a girl, but I just haven't communicated with a girl to this extend. One time I wanted to talk to a girl I see often at the subway and my knees started shaking, my mouth got dry and my heart stated pounding in horror. On the outside it looks like I'm just fine, but I am fucking broken on the inside. I am afraid that even if I get a gf the feeling that I am so far behind will torture me for life.

>>17569075

Currently 21 KV - I guess there is a different reason for the lack of female interaction at each stage of my life so far.

Age 12-14: I was definitely a late bloomer in physical and mental terms; I simply had no interest in girls or anything sexual until I was around 14, by which time most of my classmates had experienced their first kiss, and were openly expressing their crushes/interest in the opposite gender. I wasn't comfortable with sexuality, and I kinda missed out on the developing stages of it I guess.

Age 14-16: Self esteem, anxiety, and confidence issues got in the way of school life in general, not just relationship stuff. I stopped hanging around my friend group because I thought they all hated me, and all I did in my spare time was play video games. Pretty much just turned off while everything in school went by, tried to ignore it. Obviously I didn't even have any friends during this time, let alone any relationships. Weirdly, the girl I crushed on was also crushing on my at this point; funny that neither of us had the confidence to say anything.

Age 16-19: These years were basically a write off. Left school and did nothing with my life for 3 years. No hobbies, just video games and staying inside. Anxiety problems were at their worst until I was almost 19, where I started seeing a therapist. I got some help, I guess a starting place from which I tried to improve myself. My mum helped immensely was, always supportive, but unfortunately my dad was not. When I tried to start college (High school) again, he told me that I'd just fuck it up and not bother, like I do with everything. I guess he thought I was making up the anxiety as an excuse to not do anything. But yeah, there was obviously no chance of meeting anyone in this period. Just a lot of wasted young life I guess. My brother was immensely depressed through this point of my life, though I think if he wasn't then he would have been so helpful with everything.

>>17571380

cont.


Age 19-21: Things actually start to get better. My brother's depression subsides, he helps me to start college (High school) for the third time. I develop interests, actually feel like a person for the first time in years. I did very well in college, managed to get into university to study a subject I love, and being plunged into the social deep end of university was probably what I needed. I made some friends (including some female), and mostly enjoyed my first year. Still not getting close to anyting intimate with the opposite sex though; kiss virginity firmly in tact. Starting second year in a couple of weeks now, and honestly feeling as though this is my last chance. Wanna actually try; maybe I'll ask someone out - I have tinder and have been on a couple of dates but they all didn't go well, and basically I just got told that we didn't suit each other.


Went on a tangent there, but you get the idea.

>>17569184
Not that guy, but there's no way to avoid it Eventually someone WILL bring it up, whether it be a work colleague or a friend. One of those banter sessions where people talk about their experiences and shit.

>>17570467

I think he just wants to "want it" rather than just do it to get it over with.

>>17569075
Finding single women who are attracted to me like I am to them is difficult.

And I'm still working on "being more attractive". Its a long painful journey but I shall perservere.

Well otherwise I can't become a wizard.
Also I can't stand being around people.

I'm the guy in this song except I haven't killed myself yet.

https://youtu.be/3YTgwY1Ld5s

Never had a song hit so close to home, brought me to tears.

>>17571535
I feel physically sick whenever I listen to this, because I can easily see it being my fate. Fuck, I'm gonna be pacing up and down all night now.

>>17571392
Oh I easily lie through all of that, I have some made up encounters, I just use girls that I've really met, it makes it easier to be consistent.

This probably wont work if you lived your life in the same, relatively small place

>>17571561
Forgot to add - the thing that I'm worried about is getting "called out" when I'm actually gonna lose my virginity - that the girl realizes my lack of experience because you can't really fake that..

>>17571535
>want to hear the song
>not avaliable in my country
...story of my life

>>17571577
The Most Peculiar Man - Simon & Garfunkel

>>17569075
I cant do casual relationships or one night stands, had moments with girls early on at the end of high school and start of uni but it never happened, put it on hold because i realized i needed to concentrate on my future/career.
I cut out relationships all together to concentrate on studying and wanted to be at the top of my class, graduated, then got a a good job and earn great money, but work long hours. 5 years down the line I'm kind of regretting it, i didn't want a emotional connection early on and now I'm starting to realize why the hell did i do everything prior. Haven't even bothered going on a date in 4 years, I'm a workaholic.

>>17571571
>"It's been a while..."

Because I haven't had sex.

Because I choose to be an idiot

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I only had a girlfriend once and it didn't work, left me without explaining the reason for breaking up.

She immediately was with a guy a week later and saying that she loves him, taking pictures with him exc. Nothing of this with me. Kek

Have trust issues about women now, also don't have many friends, don't go out so I don't meet new people, and nobody calls me to hang out, every time I have to call someone if I want to hang out with them, basically just work or home.

Also I just can't be with a women if there are no emotions from my side or something that I'm attracted to, people find this weird I just don't get it how can you be with someone if there is no attraction or something. But what ever.

Parent's afraid I'll die alone, sometimes I feel loneliness but it fades away and everything is normal and comes back. Sometimes I wish I was emotionless because the feeling of loneliness just depresses me some day's.

Going to die alone, currently 27 years old.

>autistic
>anxious
>avoidant
>isolated
>abandoned my friends because I was jealous they were getting laid
>skinny
>never exercise
>lazy
>still live with my mom
>apathetic
>probably has below average intelligence
>pessimistic
>uninteresting
>bitter and hateful
>can barely speak properly

Well there you have it.

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>>17569199
dont forget
>oh wow anon sorry..I thought you were gay

>>17571830
Forgot to add these, guess I'll have to add 'forgetful' to the list, in fact, Imma do that right now
>forgetful
>dependent on my family
>ignorant
>selfish
>lacking empathy (few exceptions)
>unhealthy
>hebephile (because I haven't let go of the fact that I missed out on young love)

This list could probably go on forever

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>>17571877
>oh wow anon sorry..I thought you were gay

First time I heard this one.

I'm not. Haven't been one for a long time. But I could have lost it much sooner, had I chosen, and I have not forgotten what it was like, so I feel like I have something to say here.

Of course, you hear the "I could have done it years ago if I wanted" claim all the time, and usually it is bullshit. The reason I could have is that I was in a long-term relationship, and was pretty much the full set of firsts for her, as she was for me. But more to the point, I was the limiting factor: she explicitly and unambiguously said yes, long before I did. I could, in fact, have changed my mind at pretty much any time after that, and while it wouldn't necessarily have guaranteed instant loss (things happen, after all), it would have reduced the time to days or weeks at most.

So why didn't I?

Part of it was the standard religious argument of waiting for marriage (which, eventually, we did. Worth it). You've heard these arguments a million times, so I won't rehash them. But this is the point that made me the limiting factor: I believed, she did not.

Part of it was distance. We didn't start out long-distance, but then college came and took its toll, and we were both concerned about the distance taking an even greater toll if we didn't at least wait for that to be over. Looking back, I believe that this was big. Maybe even key.

And part of it was ambition: we both had specific things that we wanted to achieve, and were reluctant to gamble with the possibility of derailing them until certain things (for example, college) were complete. I was concerned for her ambitions as much as mine, and, I like to think, vice versa.

And that is why I stayed a virgin longer than I "had" to. It doesn't neatly fit everyone's case, but I think it fits more than some would suppose.

>>17571242
Older like +10 or a bit more

i lost it a few months ago, i was 22. why did it take me so long to lose it? i am uncomfortable with approaching women because i have only done it a few times, and i dont really know what i am doing. most of my friends are virgins and are never into the idea of pulling girls so that made approaching girls even harder as no one was encouraging me, helping me, or doing it with me.

a few times before i was 22 i had the opportunity to lose my virginity but i fucked it because i didnt know how to seduce women. the only reason i lost it is because i got lucky, i met a women online and she decided to come to me, she was like an 8, i fucked her like 3 times, we met up again and i fucked her 2 more times. we planned on meeting up more times but she kept flaking on me because she apparently had money issues, it was probably just an excuse from her. doubt im ever going to see her again because we had an argument because i got annoyed at her for flaking.

i need to start approaching women in real life, at least i kind of know how to seduce women now.

>>17572000
Get out you normie fuck.
This thread isn't about you. We have had no choice about our status as virgins.

>>17572054
>Get out you normie fuck.
Me? A normie? That's a laugh.

>This thread isn't about you.
That's funny, because the OP doesn't mention anything of the sort.

>We have had no choice about our status as virgins.
Yes, yes you have. And you still do. You choose this. You just tell yourself you don't to make it all seem better and less confusing. But there is something you want more than sex, and when you understand what that is, things will actually GET better. Maybe not overnight, and maybe not in exactly the way you were hoping. But it all starts with understanding yourself.

>>17569075
I wish I was a Virgin. I regret losing it every day..

Guy BTW :))))

Because I am ugly and because girls want a guy who has confidence and tells the truth. I can't do both of those things at the same time. If I tell the truth, the truth is that I'm not confident. They don't like the bashful lol I'm such a fuck up I hate myself thing and that is what I'm all about because I actually do hate myself

>>17572086
Having had sex makes you a normie by default, you fucking normie.

>>17572130
you dont know what a normie is. its the average person, the plebs. you can still be weird as fuck and not be a normie.

Eh, I clearly have some pretty serious hangups about sex but I'm not really sure what they are. I agree that it's nothing to do with not having opportunities. There were several periods of my adult life where if I really wanted to go have sex it wouldn't have been difficult. I used to get with women in clubs but I would deliberately disappear after a while because I never intended to go that far anyway.

Fast forward to last year, I started my first adult relationship with a woman I pointedly told I was virgin as soon as we started to get close enough. I think I felt like I had to make excuses. And then when she said "well do you want to?" I literally froze because I couldn't handle having that option in front of me. We didn't do it, she was nice about it and glad I told her. 8 months later, two more failed attempts and a lot of conversations, we broke up (but I think the sex was only a small part of the reason at this point.)

So, yeah, 24 now. That's a thing.

I knew my place in highschool so I never talked to other people.
I didn't go to college or get a job so there haven't been other people to talk to since i graduated.

>>17572130
>Having had sex makes you a normie by default, you fucking normie.
Um... err... what? I have heard many definitions of "normie" in my time here on 4chan, but never this one.

I am starting to get a sense of how you push women away, though. God; I'm not even female and you creep me out.

>>17572253
Then you haven't been here long enough.
Being a non virgin makes you a normie.

>>17572263
This isn't /r9k/ dude.

>>17569249
Yeah pretty much this

I'm a social retard and i've never tried.

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I had a "GF" in high school. we really werent officially dating, but we spend a lot of time hanging out, id buy her things, we'd go see a movie. All of our friends teased us that we were steamy lovers in our spare time
In reality I had never even kissed her. I was shy and didnt want to push anything becuase she wasnt really a girlfriend. When I officially asked her out she did the friend zone thing and we stopped talking
I dont blame her or anything, she had every right to do what she wanted but part of me is still a little bitter. I wish she had told me sooner because it was obvious what we were doing and /r9k/ aside she was flirting with me the whole time too. I think back to what we could have had with each other, even for a little while and get bummed it never happened
since then ive tried with other girls, but same have shot me down and one had a boyfriend when I creeped her on Facebook (I was specifically checking if she did so I wouldnt make a fool of myself). Im currently talking to this other girl so at least im trying, even if it goes nowhere
21 year old kissless virgin btw

>>17570482
I can understand being bummed out about that for a little bit, but 8 years? At this point that relationship shouldn't even mean anything. Time for a fresh start man.

>>17569075

Too old to be a virgin, no woman will want to have sex with me even we really click

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>>17569093
>She left me in the middle of it, saying it was "too much"
A real girlfriend would have stood by you day after day recovering with you. Good luck finding another gf, anon.

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>short
>grew up being fat
>didn't start losing weight until last year
>was pretty gross growing up and didn't start properly showering, brushing my teeth, wearing deodorant, washing my hair, doing my laundry, etc until grade 9
>people always picked on me as a result
>being picked on for so long gave me massive confidence issues
>never really got the chance to develop a proper social life because no one really hung out with me
>only ever had 1 relationship that lasted 48 hours where things turned real sour, real fast
>scared me away from the dating scene for the longest time
>living in a rural town and going to a highschool 40 minutes away without a car didn't help
>overall, introverted and gross for the longest time

I'm a recent graduate and started going to parties and stuff in my senior year and was able to develop proper social skills. I'm starting to feel more confident in myself and things are getting better overall. I'm going to be fine. I'm only 18 so I'm not completely lost. Everything should be just fine. I'm pretty sure the hard times are over and once I get a job, I'll get out there more and eventually find someone

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>>17569107
I wear condoms, every time no question. Even if the girl says shes on the pill I wear one anyway.
I had it turn into fights which leads to me getting kicked out and not having sex but IDGAF. Kids scare me

>>17572362
Way to take control of your fertility! Well done sir. Girls who will get in fights with you about your choice to wear a condom are probably not girls you want to sleep with anyway.

>>17572362
I am the exact opposite. I fucking hate condoms and love cumming inside any chance I get. I will use one if the girl isn't on the pill, but they really kill the sensation for me. I guess I could have a kid out there somewhere if one of my ex is hiding it from me, but seems to me like they would try to go after me for child support.

I am not a virgin but I have major deathgrip and no dating experience with mature women who aren't crazy

Because people need me to be a virgin.

I'm scared of it being painful and awkward.
Nobody will stay with me long enough for me to even get comfortable enough to do so anyway because I have so much baggage surrounding it and need an admittedly ridiculous amount of time, and a very strong emotional connection, to even consider it.

>>17572399
>I'm scared of it being painful and awkward.
why not just use some household item as a dildo until you're ready to take the real thing?

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I'm emotionally distant - like in the fucking stratosphere. In retrospect, potential partners have sent off very clear signals, but I'm unperceptive - not even on the same frequency. I'm a low context person with too great a emphasis on concise statements. People say I take things too literally, and I'm generally not a fun person to be around, I suppose.

However, I'm perfectly content being alone. I know someone here might try a jab at this statement, but unless you provide a logical argument it's not going to register.

>>17572419
Because I'm too chicken shit to do it myself. I've tried, I wimp out every time. I've been fingered once, one finger, thats the most I've gotten in. I still can't even finger myself. The only reason I got that far was because someone else was doing it and therefore I couldn't chicken out.

>>17572432
fair enough but i doubt any guy is going to put up with this. obviously easier said than done but you need to find the courage to do it yourself. if i found out the girl i was dating was a virgin, it would already be a red flag, if i found out she was afraid of having sex i would probably leave her.

>>17572263
>Being a non virgin makes you a normie.
I've got some news that you're not going to dig: no, it doesn't.

>>17572439
Yeah I understand this. That's why I'm not expecting anyone to ever understand or love me or want to be with me long term.

I have a somewhat valid/sympathetic reason though. I was molested as a kid, though never penetrated, it just gave me this strong negative energy about sex that's been very hard to overcome.
I can be very enthusiastic about other sexual acts though, ironically, especially when giving. Like I love to give hand jobs.
It's more that I just don't like being touched myself and that scares me. I've grown to tolerate and very rarely enjoy being touched externally, but the internal aspect is still something I'm working on. Unfortunately though at this rate I'll be working on it for so long I'm going to lose my window of "normality" so to speak.

>>17572452
Yes it does.

Man where to begin. I'm a NEET in his late 20s living with his parents and I have crippling psychiatric disorders and I don't work out so i'm overweight and not very attractive.

Oh yeah, and we're trying to get this sorted out now but my new meds have actually totally destroyed my sex drive. Right now I could not fap for a week and not get a boner over the hottest pic on the internet.

As for why I never got laid growing up, I tried dating a girl once or twice in highschool. One girl I dated ended up leaving me a few days after hooking up with me after she found out what an inexperienced kisser I was. To this day that sticks with me and makes me feel like i'm too intimately inexperienced to stand a chance with any girl in my age range. I don't want to practice on hookers either because i'm not morally ok with doing that so IDK what to do to get better at being intimate if nobody will practice with me.

I've got a long way to go before i'm really good dating material for anybody. I am trying to get my life back together and on track again though.

I'm going to be honest though I really do think i'm probably going to be a virgin forever.

>>17572461
>I am trying to get my life back together and on track again though.
If it makes you feel any better, you're at least better than most the robots around here because you have an ounce of rationality. You're doing the right thing here, focus on yourself, get to a place where you can feel proud of yourself, be happy by yourself and for yourself. Then you have a chance at making someone else happy. Try to stay positive dude, keep up the good work.

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>>17569075
Because I'm ugly as fuck, senpai. I tried to date a few girls in my shite-tier country high school but most would turn me down and word would come around that they thought I was physically unattractive.

I was also super insecure at the time, but I feel way more confident now after getting more /fit/ and landing a job alongside college, but I still have trouble dating girls.

>>17572461
>actually dated girls

Then you're just a failed normie.

Try again when a female hasn't even as much as aknowledged your existence.

>>17569075
Being a social hermit for nearly 3 decades didn't help anything.

I wouldn't know where to even begin.

>>17572478
>Then you're just a failed normie.

isnt everyone here a failed normie? i doubt anyone wants to be a socially retarded outcast.

>overweight growing up
>got picked on a lot as a result, always fought back though
>developed a violent and antagonizing personality that scared most people off over time
>ended up being branded as a 'problem child' in middle school because of all of the suspensions and stuff
>started constantly skipping class until I eventually just ended up being homeschooled in high school
>became a major shut-in after graduating, only leaving home for important things like doctor appointments, college, etc

I eventually mellowed out but I still missed out on all of the chances I would have gotten while I was still 18-20.

>>17572439
>if i found out the girl i was dating was a virgin, it would already be a red flag

You know I've wondered what kind of girl would still be a virgin in their mid-late 20s and not have some issues mental or physical.

I know beggers can't be choosers but this question has been on my mind a lot recently.

>>17572509
Being a socially retarded outcast is the only choice for some people.
You're a normie if you actually had any other choice.

I don't really know. Every time I've asked a girl out its either they're not interested or, like the either anons said, they have a boyfriend. Like, I recently got this girls number. We had exactly one text conversation, and then she stopped responding to me. At this point it feels impossible. I should mention I am actually autistics (Asperger's syndrome) so that might have something to do with it.

I want to wait til I get married to have sex, but I feel this also kills my chances of even finding someone to even date since its seen as old fashioned and feels more expected for sex to happen in a dating relationship these days. I feel like I'd disappoint the guy I was going with unless he was also on the same page or was completely fine with, which also feels hard to find.

I'm ugly and chubby and have a shit personality that can't make up for my physical faults. I have literally nothing to offer another person. Even if I did find someone who was interested, it's just be >>17572399.

>>17572742
lol this is why I wish I was religious, because while I don't actually care to wait till marriage, I just take absurdly long to come around to it and am rather indifferent about sex except in the fact that "I have to do it to keep a man".
I wish I were religious because the types that would be willing to wait till marriage, or at least a long time, tend to be religious.
But damn I just can't subscribe to that kind of stuff. Just ain't me

>>17569075
I'm not, I never had problems with women until the internet told me that 5'8 is short. After learning that i've gotten laid maybe like 4 times tops.

I kissed a girl for the first time this year on May, I'm 22 btw. After that, I managed to make out with 4 or 5 girls, and my self-esteem went to the moon, I felt like I could do anything.

I'm not sure if I wanna have sex, since it's late now and I could use this as an excuse to marry a virgin woman, but If I wanted, I certainly would find a partner for it.

For some of you who have no idea how it works: When you do it for the first time, it's over, you'll feel way more secure and confident about finding p****. In the end, it's all about self-esteem.

She said it hurt so I stuck it in her pooper instead.

>>17572780
>"I have to do it to keep a man"
Thoughts like this as well as the thought of breaking up and never seeing again someone I intimately trusted my body to are also reasons why, it puts me off. I mean sure, the marriage could be bad and possibly end in divorce, but I guess I'd rather have that then date and sleep around with different guys til one stayed with me.

I also grew up in a religious household and still hold onto/believe it too so you're not wrong. Sometimes I wonder if i would have lost my virginity already if i was raised different, but I also think I'd still feel the same and wait because of the reasons I just listed.

>>17572813
Yeah I feel ya, I mean I wouldn't fuck just anyone because of similar feelings. I don't wanna share something so intimate and a part of me with anyone who asks for it you know? But I also don't feel like I have to be married to the guy to not regret it either. Even if we broke up down the road later on, as long as I felt we had a great run and it was a fond memory rather than negative, I'd feel ok about it.

Actually for me marriage is scarier. Bc I'd rather be dead than divorced. I wonder if I'll ever actually marry because I just cannot see myself trusting someone when they tell me "forever". More and more marriages are ending you know. It's scary. I can handle being broken up with, but divorce is just the most humiliating and biggest form of betrayal I can possibly think of.

>>17570736

You're sweet...
virginity is your choice by now. You will find someone someday.

I won't date a girl who isn't a virgin. I can't stand the idea of loving a girl who's gotten intimate with others so I'll probably join a church and wait for marriage since how much I want sex is absolutely nothing compared to how much being with a non-virgin partner would bother me. Been an issue for a while now and might have stemmed from being a "late bloomer" and only looking good more recently.

>>17569249
Damn anon. Are you me?

>>17570194
This

>Hi, how are you?
>Good
>Do you want some gum?
>No thanks
>Are you sure? It's [whatever] flavor, it's good.
>Oh uh no I'm fine.
>Oh, well ok I'll leave you alone.

This is the most recent conversation I've had with a female and the first I've had in literally months. (She was offering the gum, not me).

I'm just an awkward fuck and I've been stressing out over her thinking I'm an asshole for two days now (we're grad students in the same program and we're around each other a fair amount I guess since we have two classes together).

>>17572460
>Yes it does.
Really? So you mean to tell me that if you somehow got a couple hundred together and paid for someone, that would make you a normie? Because if that's true, then we should get a donation drive going. We could empty out /r9k/ with a few all-expenses-paid trips to Reno, NV, all legally. Wouldn't that be nice?

>>17573029
Someone set up a gofund me lmao I'd donate just to shut down r9k

Probably because I have no friends and no social life even though I've been trying to build one for two years.

>>17572899
>won't date a girl who isn't a virgin.

Why? It's not normal. I knew a guy who thought something similar except he didn't want to marry a non-virgin, (though he always had one night stands), so he ended up marrying his cousin.

>>17572426
I like the way you write.

>>17572742
>I feel like I'd disappoint the guy I was going with
Pretty much. And honestly? I don't think most men take it seriously.

My ex wanted to do the same thing as you and once I broke up with her she fucked many of her friends to spite me. I understand wanting to wait a bit, but I find it hard to take a woman at face value since regarding sex until marriage.

>>17572780
>I wish I were religious because the types that would be willing to wait till marriage, or at least a long time, tend to be religious.
Sounds like a shitty marriage if you're doing it just to please him. You may be satisfied with that but even religious men still have sexual desires. Men want a woman who you know, actually wants to have sex too rather than someone who just wants to get it over with.

>>17572742
>since its seen as old fashioned and feels more expected for sex to happen in a dating relationship these days

I don't think no sex before marriage was ever followed except by ultra religious people. Regular religious people usually found "loopholes" like anal sex. Hell, even repressed countries like pakistan has a huge fag scene in the same way 4chan's anons have resorted to dudes in dresses to fulfil their needs.

>>17573726
It's not like I'm a hypocrite, I'm a virgin too. But like I said it just bothers me too much to think about.

Because girls don't want to have sex with me. And rape is terrible. And i consider using hookers to be cheating at life.

>>17573843
Sorta realized that when I realized that none of the religious people I knew where virgins, even the super religious people who just married (and divorced) young.

I'm not.

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I just want sex, not a relationship. The problem is I dont ike going to clubs to fuck strangers because im shy and that situation makes me nervous.
So I try to flirt with girls in school or at work, hoping it'll lead to a casual fling. But they ALL want a dinsey princess fantasy that ends with us in love. The last time I tried this, I ended up having dinner with her family (she didnt tell me that was happening, just said to come over for dinner and bam ! her mom is making me a plate), then broke it off because I knew where it was heading. Worst of all theres no way to explain it without sounding like a womanizing asshole. Im aware this is my own fault, it would probably be easier to just find a bar broad and see where that goes but idk
im just not into relationships, I like my life the way it is for now

>>17572954
talk to her again, this time offer her the gum. If she says no say "wanna get lunch instead"

Was really shy in high school, finally came out of my shell when I was 19 years old. Got hit by a drunk driver in the first week of my 2nd year at uni and had to get my right leg amputated. Too much of a bitch to get close to anybody.

Don't like people. Hard to get laid if you got a short temper

Because I have too many mental issues and the few I was interested in termed out to be shallow cunts so I backed out.

Extremely low self esteem and general negativity about myself, which eventually grew into depression. Not ugly, but gotten fat, with disgusting man boobs.
Got a decent job now though, not that it really fixes those points.

Homeschooled

Growing up with fairweather and all-round terrible friends kind of stunts in many areas of life.

Introvert and avoidant from social experiences like parties.

I tried to lose it with a hooker 2 years ago but I cummed before penetration when she was doing oral sex. Felt like shit, but that day I embraced the absurdness and futility of it all.

I know is a pretty cheap defense, but it works for me and has prevented to kill myself sometimes.

Im seriously considering getting an escort.

self destructive dummy with no self esteem

Because any worthwhile women at my uni either have BFs already, have told me to fuck off, or put me beyond the friend zone and into the "brother zone", the worst zone.

I only had my first kiss recently and I'm 23 years old. It didn't work out with that girl, so I'm back at square one, but now that I got that hurdle out of the way, I want to get rid of my virginity and soon.
There's a few reasons why I'm so inexperienced with girls. The first of all is a lack of trying. You can't get laid if you never approach girls. Which is what I've done most all of my life. Mostly because of different insecurities I let hold me back. Then fear of rejection and a fear of inadequacy because of my lack of experience weigh in.
I'm trying to change things now though. I am going to try and build a social life for myself by going to clubs (for interests, not nightclubs), volunteer work, and going to local concerts/events. Hopefully I can meet people and lose my virginity and maybe get a relationship out of it all.

I hate myself for my lack of experience, but doing nothing and feeling like shit is only going to make it worse.

I made it a really big deal to myself about loosing my virginity, tho it seemed that when I finally had the chance I kept fucking it up with this girl that really liked me, my gf at the time. The girls before her were cute and interesting but never wanted to have sex, I went from one Religious based school to another and there were a good amount of "everything but penetration" minded girls. Anyway I met my first and we tried doing it a few times, for some reason, I just kept losing my bone right as I knock knock knocked on her doorway with my solid snake, after thinking about it, must have been the fact that I knew she was not a virgin and I was, tho I didn't tell her this until I was so nervous during our first try and had to basically explain myself to her. And even after I explained myself I kept loosing it when we tried cause she wasn't really getting wet and I knew it was cause I was still acting nervous. We finally had sex after I failed so many times that I literally didn't care anymore. I said to myself happiness be dammed I don't care fuck this situation it's not my fault. Only then did I get hard and finally fuck her. Moral of the sotry: You try you die. The less you care about getting laid you free up the anxieties about it and you just "get lucky" without doing much. That's how it worked for me anyways...

>>17576415
Do it. It's easy as fuck

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Being physically unattractive and being bullied for it my entire life created massive, deep-rooted insecurities that I cannot get over. Having an unsymmetrical face destroyed by acne scars and being a 5'3" adult male is not a great way to live. Plus the anxiety and depression I deal with everyday just isn't enough. I do my best to not be a fucking pussy about it, but girls are something I feel I'll never have any chances with, as pathetic as that sounds

>>17572742
Where do I find girls like you?

>>17572742
yes, you are drastically limiting the pool of potential partners by limiting sex to procreation and only after marriage.

you're keeping away all partners who consider sex part of a loving relationship.

Accept it or don't, tha's how it is.

>>17576895
>girls on the internet

>>17576895
Where do you find cat ladies?

>>17576665
>You try you die. The less you care about getting laid you free up the anxieties about it and you just "get lucky" without doing much. That's how it worked for me anyways...
alright but you got your first gf BEFORE you stopped caring and when you actually tried, right? or is the non-trying strategy good for getting a gf too?

>>17577900
I think he's trying to say that it should happen organically, as a result of connecting with other people.

Problem for most of us in this thread is that we lack friends and that vital social support so we're that "most peculiar man" in simon and garfunkel's song.

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>>17578034
>we're that "most peculiar man" in simon and garfunkel's song.
That fucking song.

>>17576895
in the zoo!!!
of course in parties at school campus
or just a mere coincidence (public transport-shop....

>>17578078
If you think that a fun song, try reading "Notes from Underground" it's a fucking blast.

why shouldnt i be

>low self esteem
>multiple mood swings per day ranging from mildly content to suicidally depressed, though I am pretty good at hiding this
>general "desperate" vibe (my friend confirmed this)
>social skills are very rusty (and were never good to begin with) as I haven't made a new friend or acquaintance in several years and have only one friend that I only get to see in person a couple months out of the year
>anxiety about having small dick

because i'm a stupid faggot

>is a virgin female
No guy wants to fuck a virgin female

>>17578126
I checked out Crime and Punishment from the library last week, should I read that first?

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>>17578288
>No guy wants to fuck a virgin female

Waiting til marriage :)

>>17569075
Have no idea why any woman would want anything to do with me.

>>17578308
They're both classics, both treading similar ground but Notes from Underground is a lot more.. nihilistic(?). And shorter, slightly more relevant to this thread.

But read both anyway.

>>17578375
>>17578308

And Notes from Underground is kinda like a warmup for Crime and Punishment.

>>17578288
Not fuck, per se, but certainly marry

>>17578288

approach random guys u find likeable and tell them u think they are hot. u will get laid within 1 week.

I'm Asian and ugly. Getting fat too.

>>17578389
Wat?

Finding a girl who's a virgin at a late age is not a good thing.