Ex in contact again, what to do

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Meet in person for the murder-suicide.

>>17559762
YOU need to move on, if the fucker can't act like an adult or a well balanced logical person (he's in a relationship ffs) it's not your problem. You can't control other people's actions, feelings and stupidity.
And yes it's a dick move more so if you don't tell your husband.

>>17559762
Don't go.
If you're happily married there's no reason to cave into this.
You should really examine why you would even consider doing this. Look inside and try to find out what it is about this guy that causes you to allow this obsessive behavior .

>>17559762
I don't recommend you meet him. If anything it should only fuel him more, and make it worse for you.

He is not asking for a meeting to get over you, he's hoping to talk you into loving him.

>Tell him, "love is not enough."

you dont care if he moves on or not, you just dont want those msgs but also enjoy your ego massaged
dont answer, dont block him
dont give him any attention

OP here.
I guess I was considering it because he keeps saying that it's because it's the only way he can get over me and that I'm stringing him along by NOT meeting up with him. Now that I say it out loud, he sounds like a manipulative douche.

>>17559762
I've been in that situation before. He's not going to move on just by meeting you, and it'll probably intensify his obsession with you. He needs therapy, not contact.

>>17559784
>Now that I say it out loud, he sounds like a manipulative douche.
Pretty much.

>>17559785
Oh god. Therapy!! Why have I not thought of that before! What did you do to get them off your back?

>>17559794
Had to get the police involved, unfortunately.

>>17559803
Oh. Suppose when these things reach a certain stage...

>>17559809
It's inevitable, especially if you notice a pattern of escalation in a short period of time.

>>17559762
ok, things that the ideal wife should do:
1. IGNORE THE FUCKING GUY IS NOT LIKE HE COULD FORCE YOU TO FUCKING REPLY TO HIS FUCKING ADVANCES YOU FUCKING CUNT
2. TELL YOU FUCKING HUSBAND ABOUT IT, DON'T FUCKING DEAL WITH SHIT LIKE THIS BEHIND HIS BACK, IT'S YOUR FUCKING MARRIAGE THAT IS IN PLAY IN HERE
now things that YOU should do, because you seem to think there is nothing wrong with meeting an exlover while you are married
1. tell your husband about it
2. set a meeting with the guy and take your husband with you
3. laugh at the guy when he is cockblocked

but seriously, you are fucking stupid and you don't respect your husband. Hope he fucking divorces you and finds someone that actually cares about him.

>>17559831
>2. set a meeting with the guy and take your husband with you
>ex shoots OP's husband
Don't give advice on crazy people. Please.

Why do you give them the time of day? My ex was 30 when she dumped me and she stayed in contact and put up with my bullshit. Did she not want to hurt me more? I realize now that she couldve cut all contact and let me waddle in my own self pity, instead of telling me everythings ok and we can be friends, etc. Obviously we never met up after we broke up, but she still talked to me on the phone.

>>17559870
I don't know why I respond either. Every contact starts and ends the same way. He says he just wants some advice or a chat about something mundane. I believe him. Then it progresses to him telling me about his feelings (usually in a very graphic sexual way), I tell him that I don't feel the same way and tell him I'm blocking him on Facebook/snapchat/LinkedIn/emails/mobile phone

Rinse and repeat every 6 months.

And yes, my husband does know about it. He gets so frustrated by situation, I don't want to burden him with more.

>>17559762
OP, if you weren't married, would you feel differently about meeting him or talking to him?

I'm just curious, but as it stands I definitely think he's acting like a child. Don't betray your husband, ok?

This is kinda chilling to read... I'm 30 and I think about my ex alot. It's been 8 years since we broke up too. I contacted her once in those 8 years, but that's it. I don't think about hitting her up with sexual nonsense or any of that.

I'm kinda wondering, OP. I think we've had our closure but I really do feel like now that we're older we were kind of so fit for each other after I've dated other people and learned to be a better man.

OP, what can a guy do in this situation to open contact without like, coming across extremely creepy like your ex is doing right now? We're both single but I don't know if she'd appreciate hearing from me or find it annoying. Like what would make the difference from where you are in your position?

>>17559892
I started chatting to the guy before I met my husband. Before things could get more serious, I called it off because I found myself interested in someone else (who is now my husband). I don't think I would have ever ended up with him regardless

>>17559881
Bullshit.
You love the attention this guy gives you. THAT'S why you keep letting him do it every 6 months...
i highly doubt you are infact HAPPILY married, if you were this would be a fucking thing.
I am sure after you have talked to this person so much that you would know EXACTLY what to say to him to get him to fuck off, the fact that you HAVEN'T done that shows:
A) you love the attention
B) you are not happily married and are being dishonest to the man you promised to never lie to and spend your life with.
C) you dont want to be married.
D) you are a major attention whore.

Don't worry OP divorce rates are as high as they have EVER been!!! Mostly becuase foul, horrible people that can only validate their own self worth against what other horrible people think of them like you keep getting married :)

I suggest you leave your husband cause he deserves better than a disgusting slut wife and then go get all the attention your fucked up ego can take ^_^.

>>17559906
OP here.
I think a good place to start is that neither of you are attached. That's not to say she's not into someone else, but that's always a risk.
I guess I keep getting reeled in by him finding stuff we still have in common (the industry we both work in, mutual friends etc) but then my red flags go up when he reminds me of the reasons I wanted to stay away from him in the first place, like the reason we never progressed our relationship and the reason I get grossed out and block him

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your fucking stupid. wake up and stay away, duh.

>>17559915
this

>ohnoes look at meeee EIGHT years and he still LUVS ME

>>17559915
Fucking this. Had an ex who use to complain to me about her ex(es) being obsessed with her and would get mad if I told her to block them. Some women just feed off the attention desperate guys give them.

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>>17559915
Couldn't agree more. Op is a cheap whore, divorce your husband and save him from the pain of finding out you gobble on your ex's cock you cheap slutty piece of shit.

>>17559881
>I don't know why I respond either. Every contact starts and ends the same way. He says he just wants some advice or a chat about something mundane. I believe him. Then it progresses to him telling me about his feelings (usually in a very graphic sexual way), I tell him that I don't feel the same way

Yup, that's how you create a stalker.

Men are dumb. At the slightest hint of a possible opening in getting into your pants, we'd do anything and everything to do that.

Have you ever explicitly told him to fuck off and leave you alone?

I mean in no uncertain words, terms and phrases?
> I don't feel the same way
that's too vague.

You have to make your point very very VERY clear and then break off all contact, don't reply to messages, just cut him out of your life completely and never let him in again.
Every time you replied, you just signaled to him that he got game.

>>17559881
I don't tell my ex about how I feel or what I wanna do to her, lol. I legit just call her to say hi whats up every few months, and she answers every time. Closest I get to mentioning my feelings is if she does ask if there's a reason for calling I say I was thinking about her. At any point she can tell me to fuck off, why exactly don't you tell this guy to fuck off? Give me some insight here

>>17559762

Just tell him to fuck off, you mong.

>Only women are caoable of falling for this shit

>>17559762
>but I also want this guy to move on.
who gives a flying fuck if the guy moves on or not. The only reason you are considering this is out of curiosity. Hope my wife never pulls this shit..it means more to you to help this fool than doing the right thing for the man you say you are happy with

>>17559762
nice game you got going here OP. You say he reels you in but you want to be reeled in. Over and over you get the pitch, tell him never again, tell him you are blocking him and yet you respond when he jumps the hurtles. Makes you feel wanted. Your husband may buy this guy is the problem but it is clear (and perhaps deep down you husband does too especially if he knew it was still going on) you continue to play.

>>17559762
That's one of the worst stories of someone being hung up that I've ever heard. It's a bad idea in general and disrespectful to your husband to meet him. Keep blocking him is all you can do I guess. I'm curious what is the guys problem? He's got somebody at least why can't he get over you?

>>17560739
I wonder what is OP's problem. She's still in touch with him and hides it now from her husband after 8 years. She gets something out of it