paranoia

nothing i can say can really help you

you need to help yourself, and that probably starts with a change of attitude and reaching out to a few people to try to make friends.

>>17559408
I'm really sorry to hear about that OP. I don't know much, but I know herbal supplements. I take sceletium tuberosum and zembrin pills daily for my depression (herbal SSRI - if you need a MAOI-B try St. John's Wort pills, but beware - they make me puke and they have other side effects; I used to take them with CBD oil to mitigate that). For panic attacks, the mildest calm medicine I know of is chamomile and valerian. In fact CBD oil could potentially help you with your anxiety, but I would try a TINY bit first to see how it goes - I like Charlotte's Web.

But I am wondering. What are you taking the benzos and antidepressants for in the first place?

>>17559408
I am feeling the same way, OP.
I don't know what is that but I just can't seem to care about anything or anyone anymore.

>>17559524
I will try, but I'm not sure I could really make friends with my weird panic. I always feel this weird impulse to tell people things like, "Hey! I really want to die! I think you hate me! Can you tell me why you hate me so I can make myself less worthless?" but the reality is I know that's pathetic and I need to keep it to myself.

>>17559538
Thank you for the recommendations. I used to smoke but I have abstained for more than a year. Now I'm afraid it will only make me more paranoid if I try, so I'm really hesitant to try CBD.
The medications were prescribed for general anxiety and overall depression/moodiness/suicidal thinking. I'm not sure if it needs to change but now I'm scared to talk to my doctor after she said prescribing stronger medicine could lead to a bad lifestyle...

>>17559586
Trying not to give up... Right now I try to loop documentaries in a cycle in the background just to give me something to latch on to when my thoughts get bad. I hope you figure something out too..

>>17559616
You definitely need a better doctor. If she says she doesn't want to give you a stronger dose, then she should be trying something else to make you better, like checking you out for pathogens, heavy metals, etc. but doctors suck and I've never found a good one so... I'd say shop around. Regarding CBD, I'd say try a quarter dose of it to see how you do on it, if you're not too afraid, because CBD doesn't have the same effect marijuana does, although it's similar. Also check out www.balancingbrainchemistry.co.uk because the author is a bipolar man who self-medicates with amino acids. Maybe it can help, maybe not. There is also a slight possibility you may be hyperthyroid; if motherwort and lemon balm tea makes you feel much better physically that is a definite indicator.

>>17559538
Whoops. Tuberosum should be tortuosum. My bad.