another adult with a crush on someone thread

>>17559239

first and foremost accept that this is not a game that can be won. there is no specific path, there is no button mashing combo, there isn't some cheat code.

whatever she wants to do, she is going to do. you can't come up with a way to make it work.

this isn't depressing. its freeing. the universe has pretty much pre arranged this so its not a slight against you. asking her out is not the test, it is simply the confirmation. there isn't necessarilly a wrong way to go about this because there isn't some right way to make it work.

that being said, you dont really need to say your 'feelings'. when guys go into their feelings with a girl they havent had much time to truly bond with, it can be uncomfomrtable. it shows a level of investment. you may think of it as a crush developing but because the girl doesn't see you that way she sees it more as a delusion, a constructed relationship in your head that you've made.

just asking her out wont give this implication. it will just show interest in her, and thats okay. even if she rejects you just asking her out on a legit date isn't bad. as simple as
>we've been hanging out a long time, and i want to do something special with you. lets go get dinner, this weekend. you like sushi right?

and just react to her reactions. even if she says no, thats it. your life is the same as it was an hour ago, so no big deal.

>i dont know how to build chemistry with her

otuside of broad strokes (re: hanging out) you cant really 'build' chemistry in the conscious sense. thats just manipulation, even in an innocent way, and it doesn't lead to anything good.

at the end of the day the only advice anyone needs in romantic situations is
>ask her out

thats it. literally nothing else matters.

>>17559264
Thanks a lot! Yah in "building chemistry" I meant more like hanging out and getting along which seems harder now that for some reason she acts somewhat colder around me than she used to. Thanks for the advice, it think I'm gonna ask her out. I was just worried it would come out as stupid like "why is he even asking me out, we don't get along that well". Though maybe it's mostly just me over analyzing everything her too much.

I act cold when I like someone so I don't come off as liking them.

>>17559264

Well written man this should be pinned somewhere .

>>17560149
Flawless plan.

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170KB, 250x275px

>>17559239
i think i saw you post the same question on another thread but no one replied

and i can't really help you since im in a similar situation and i wonder the same

>How much chemistry do you have to have with someone before you "can" ask them out?

i don't know , some people can do it the first time they meet someone and they get a yes

what i tried to do was asking the girl i like to go out casually for coffe, that didn't seem like a big deal to me, i just wanted to know her more, i tried 3 times and it didn't work

> I have trouble getting interested in other girls.

this is the biggest trouble i have too, i know good looking girls that would accept to go out with me but im not interested in them, so i see no point in asking them out, also i hang out with people all the time for different reason so if i really wanted to know them i could do it without even needing to ask

i wonder why i always end up likeing the most introverted girls that don't go out a lot

>Just openly telling her about my feelings is a bad idea right?

i don't know, i already did that with the girl i like, she seemed way more happy and open after that, so i guess it was a good thing to do, that was 3 days ago, i'll see her again today, and i still think is going to be enough to make her go out with me

>Btw I have a bunch of mutual friends with her, that will probably find out if I do something stupid or autistic about this. But I don't know what to do.

same here i already did something stupid about it and they kept it a secret so i guess i have good friends

>>17560214
> i tried 3 times and it didn't work

Problem here is that you were to passive if girl went out three times like that then she is really into you. I did that to girls just to create more attraction and
keep them wondering what is next I'm going to pull off.

All you have to do is make your intentions clear and create situation where you can seal the deal. For example on third time you were on coffee you spent there like 2 hours or more and then invite her to your place or somewhere more private. This work when girl knows she is on date and you made your intentions clear.

Because if she said yes to two dates and then even said yes for third then you know she likes you a lot that is the point of dates after all.

>>17560232
no you read it wrong, i couldn't even go out for coffe with her, i asked her as casually as possible so it didn't seem like a big deal but she was always busy

then i got tired. so i just told her how i feel, she told me that she is not used to going out with people, even less on one on one dates

then i told her how much i like her again and that if someday she decides that she wants to go out with me i'll be really happy


it seems like that made her change her mood a bit, she seems more open and happy than before but still i feel like i still need to do something really special before asking her out again

>>17560267
just keep showing interest without that "if you're ready, I'll be there"-stuff. you're not a lapdog.

>>17560232
>>17560267

Oh sorry then. In that case you should have gotten the massage. You really have to use logic when dealing with this things and hope for the best.

You asked 3 times if she can't make time for fucking coffee then you realize how much she cares. Girl that is into you will just say yes and do it.

You get bonus points for telling her but that was wrong move since it puts you in weak position and girls find that off putting in most cases but still good try. Those are words of girl not wanting to hurt you but in process give you false hope. Remember if you have chance girl will always find time for you.

In my opinion you should put her on bench and just move around in her circles and try to get some other girls attention. Forget doing special thing that comes later when she shows that she is willing to make time for simple coffee.

There is a limit to which you can lower you self make sure she doesn't get that as weakness.

>>17559239
>adult
>your post
are you sure about that?