I am a sociopath who is going to die alone. What do I do?

Often times people catch on to me being a sociopath and then they make life really difficult for me. But honestly it's not even success i am worried about, I really want to experience love and happiness which is impossible. I have a BS in both Bio and Math, and I am 28 years old. But since I am so blank in general it's hard for me to succeed in social environments since people don't like it when you dont play their games and cater to them. Also man recently I met a girl and I really liked her but since I had no soul or empathy (underdeveloped) she caught on and moved forward. I am not a teen anymore but ever since I was 6 or 7 I am stuck in the "angsty teenager" phase. So yeah can anyone relate to me? give good advice?

>>17556965
Weirdly enough I think oxytocin is your best bet. You need to try and have a real loving relationship with a woman. Oxytocin is a neuromodulator that is released during intimate physical contact. Make sure to do lots of cuddling after sex because that's when it's at it's highest. It has the ability to undo emotional trauma like nothing else in the world can. It breaks down old pathways in the brain and allows new ones to form. It allows you to incorporate that person into your life, and into your very being. People can make adjustments for someone they love that they could never make in any other situation.

Hopefully you can reach this state of love naturally because I doubt it will work to force it.

Since I can't offer anything that would really help, I'll bump this thread.

Also, go out more and talk to a lot of girls. Might seem hopeless, but you never now.

And also, this >>17556983

I will give you a bump and reply to you later.
One of the people I love more is a sociopath so I guess I can give you some level of help.

>When I am sitting in a class room I spend alot of time observing people and I know their weaknesses
How do you do this? How do you know?

Also, you sound like a good person since you want to improve and be empathetic. Keep forcing yourself to do good, do the right, ethical thing, and it will start to be natural.

>>17556965
>I think this is what led me to lose my emotions.
Undoubtedly, yes.
>My mother knew how I was growing up, so she overloaded my ass with morals.
While letting your father abuse you. What kind of morals are those, exactly?
>how do I stop being so afraid of them?
Are you afraid of them, or yourself? Afraid of hurting them?

>I really want to experience love and happiness which is impossible.
Sure it's impossible? Didn't you say you feel infatuation, at least? Start with that. Hone those feelings, eventually you can bend and shape them to get closer to real love.

And are you seeing a shrink? They can often help.

>>17556965
For as much as you beat yourself up, you seem incredibly self-aware of both your positive and negative qualities. You are not a bad person, but your parents trained you to act badly for so long it is engrained (more specifically your father). Most importantly you desire to change.

Seriously, you should go to a licensed or registered psychologist/psychiatrist. I am sure there are many unresolved/unexpressed emotions and events in your life that only a professional can safely and effectively guide you through.

>>17558335
experience. I have two decades of experience observing people. But i only do this to people i am interested in. If it's someone I don't find interesting, I wouldn't even know their names, I have had teachers before whose name i did not know.

>>17558361

Yeah she basically used morals to control me. By morals i mean like being submissive. I know what you are trying to get at, it's not those morals- I am an atheist. My belief in God and santa clause is zero.

I am afraid of them forming a mob to get at me, or basically making life hard for me. Also if it's the rare few i like, not being loved I guess? but like I said I don't have empathy so it sucks because i have to fake it. I definitely have been forcing myself to do right, and it's growing on me. I have always been ethical, ethics are my thing. I stopped going after people who would screw with me so that's the only negative I had before.
>>17558363
I met two shrinks so far. One was a religious nutcase who upon finding out that I am an atheist, refused to see me again.

The other was a woman. She basically told the entire staff at my school that I was a psycho. So there's that. Seeing a shrink is just a negative experience for me, but you guys are right about the infatuation bending thing, its been working well so far.

>>17556965
I think you actually have repressed your feelings since you were a child, which could totally overwhelm you if you were to release them now. Get yourself into a safe lifestyle; safe physical place, safe job, and all that. Next, consider just going out and sitting in nature. People are shit, but nature's never going to judge you, and it can teach you how to relate to living things better, albeit slowly.