I keep getting drunk and I keep getting caught getting drunk.

>>17556339
Not drinking anymore works pretty well, have you considered switching to something less destructive like weed?

>>17556339
100 year old vaudeville joke:

PATIENT (moving arm or something) Doctor, it hurts when I do this.
DOCTOR: So don't do that!


YOU: Getting drunk keeps getting me in trouble.
DOCTOR: . . . . .

>>17556339

Sounds like it's becoming an issue for you. Usually the first sign of addiction is if you struggle to hide the extent of it from other people. Alcoholism might be in your genes too since it killed him too. Be smart, stop while you can.

>>17556341
I have no access to weed. My entire country is a weed desert and I've had this argument so many times that the best I can do is just beg for you to take my word for it.

I also can't smoke indoors, both my mom and sister have nose like a bloodhound, and neither of them draws a particular line between light drugs and serious drugs. I would as well be doing heroin as far as they are concerned, they'd call the cops on me.

I also deeply dislike the sensation of being high. It makes me anxious and paranoid and altogether 100% worse.

It's the opposite of a solution.

>>17556346
I have to do something. I have to keep going to work, I have to keep going to school, I have to keep looking after my family, I fucking have to keep functional somehow.

I used to cut myself as a teen but considering it doesn't give you the euphoria that alcohol does (as whiskey has spoiled me rotten), it'd be hard to adjust back to, and increasing scars would be difficult to hide, living in a place with no nudity taboo.

>>17556357
Dump your fucking family.

>>17556339
1. Stop drinking and do something productive instead
2. Get a job and an apartment and drink all you want

Pretty simple.
Usually we do #1, then when we've done enough productive shit and saved up enough money, we do #2.

>>17556451
I'm in a full-time job and studying part-time. I need mom's car to get to work and they need my financial contribution to the household.

I need to do SOMETHING to remain functional. My sister doesn't drink, smoke, cut or do anything, and she's been a full-time NEET for the past four years.

>>17556466
>they need my financial contribution to the household
Then you're the man of the house, and frankly you decide what you can and can't do.
Your mother understandably doesn't want you to die like your father.
Either listen to her or accept the guilt of following in his footsteps.

For what it's worth, i know it's tough. My grandpa was an alcoholic his whole life and i'm quickly becoming the same, even though i was always the good kid who never drank or smoked.
The funny part is that he's still alive somehow. He's pushing 80 and still drinks every day. Eastern european genetics, i guess.

>>17556489
I keep daydreaming about being killed by an accident. I speed through the roads while driving at night in hopes of hitting a deer, and always kind of wish I'd get hit by a car or get killed while going out alone.

The only thing that's happened was I've lost like 5 wallets and my phone, and been taken home by a middle-ages faggot once. He had some misunderstandings of what I was looking for.

>>17556502
>look for murder
>receive dick

My sides.

>>17556420
this. they seem like terrible people

>>17556347
>Usually the first sign of addiction is if you struggle to hide the extent of it from other people
bullshit. the first sign of addiction is starting to get withdrawal symptoms

>>17556578
My sister is as depressed as I am, mom can't help not being able to support her alone.

>>17556583
I still can't think of any better way to get by and function.

alcoholic here

if u wanna drink daily just know that trying to function is going to get harder and harder with each day. good luck

>>17556608
I don't want to drink daily. I just want to spend less of my waking hours daydreaming about killing myself.

all i read was: dad died from alcohol, how do i become an alcohol

>>17556354
Fair enough, how about just quitting the alcohol then? I used to drink a shitload, probably would have been classified as an alcoholic considering the amount and how it was every single day. I knew it was bad, and I eventually forced myself to quit.

You know it is bad. You should do the same. I know you don't want to, and I know this probably falls on deaf ears, but really you need to consider it because this shit does not lead anywhere good.

>>17556630
Then what do I do to function?

So much relies on me, everything would go to fucking hell if I lose my job or end up in a mental ward.

Just smoke weed.

It's not like it isn't a vice, but at least you won't wake up sick or die from a fatty liver.

>>17557180
>>17556354
I guess I could've read this, first.

Welp, sorry then, friend.

I remember that stage of my alcoholism.

I switched to vodka and always carried around gum. Eventually your tolerance gets so high you can practically act normal when you drink. Besides the shakes and anxiety when it starts wearing off. For that I would keep a bottle in my car and take a few big swigs whenever I could take a break.

Eventually you have to start right when you wake up. Make sure you're in the bathroom so you can get that first puke out of the way then load up and take a shower. I'd keep body spray in my car too.

You're going to need to get some ensure or other nutritional drink because eating is going to be harder and harder but if you don't keep something on your stomach, you'll start puking up blood. You're fucked when you reach that point because you have to quit for a bit and the withdrawal is hell. Luckily you can shoot a little up your ass to get back where you need to be.


Don't forget to drink lots of water tooo. Very important.


Somewhere in there you lose your soul and everything you love but you won't notice. Good luck.

>>17557193
I just need to find some way to not lose my shit.

Well the obvious answer is you need to stop drinking alcohol before it starts messing up your life.

>>17557284
Well I also need to keep going to work and school or I'll mess up my life.

I need something to keep my fucking head together.

>>17556339
as a person who walked the fine line between alcoholism and addiction (J. used alcohol when I had no drugs to take) i know how much of a shitty thing this all is. Waking up hungover as hell, puking as soon as you try to get that first drink in to make the hangover go away... the illness. the swelling. the hot flashes.... ugh. So glad I got out of that cycle of drink, puke, drink.

see, I know you think that you NEED the booze to function, but think honestly about it. did you function better BEFORE or AFTER you started drinking? What are you using the booze to hide from? What exactly are you drinking so much for?

I don't want to be one of those "OMG LIFE IS BETTER CLEAN, ZOMGGGGG!!" people. for me LIFE WAS better. You have to choose to make the decision to quit.
but, if you don't want to, I always hid my booze in the back tank of the toilet. then every time I went to the can, I drank. Wear Patchouli perfume/cologne. it covers up ANY smell. Chew Altoids, and remark often that you are Whitening your teeth, and buy whitening strips for the illusion. it makes the strong smell of the mouthwash you need to hid the booze smell make sense. Save some cash for your legal issues you will inevitably face for driving impaired.

good luck!

>>17557242
Jesus, posts like these are why you should just stop now. Get some help OP, maybe talk to your mom about it.

>>17557328
I need it because I'm stressed, trapped and depressed and I have no realistic means to get out of it.

>>17557351
Nothing you can say will change his mind. He has to get a glimpse of hell himself and maybe he'll be lucky enough to turn back.
Go to AA when it's bad enough OP. Hopefully it's before you die.

>>17557392
I won't be a drunk, I don't think. I'm just trapped for the time being and need to survive the next couple of years.

>>17557363
have you thought of any type of support group? I am a caregiver, so the biggest thing that helped me was knowing that other people went thru the same shit I do.

>>17557398
EVERYONE says that they won't be a drunk when they first start. But then they become drinks anyway. You at least have to be honest with yourself about that.

>>17557418
Are there groups for young alcoholics? If I want to hear old drunks ramble I'll just go to the bar.

>>17557424
I'll just do what I got to do to get through school.

>>17557429
There are but you haven't hit bottom yet so I doubt you'll be willing to listen to anything they say.

Lots of hot girls at the young peoples one I go to.

>>17557446
I'm gay.

>>17557463
Lots of them too. Where I live anyway. Mostly college kids that got their shit together early.

>>17557485
I'm not into women, and my antidepressants have completely killed my sex drive.

>>17556339

Moving out and keeping it hidden there