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Anonymous
Should I go visit him? 2016-09-10 13:05:26 Post No. 17553162
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Should I go visit him? 2016-09-10 13:05:26 Post No. 17553162
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Last year, I was dating someone who I was very much in love with and still am (although we are no longer together). We made love in the summer and when he had to go back to college, I was devastated and acting desperate/needy as fuck because I wasn't sure if we could handle the distance, whether or not he would cheat on me (his ex gf goes to the same college as him) and where we stood as an item.
Needless to say, my desperate and needy behavior gave him an easy excuse to dump me and stop speaking to me for good.
Fast forward to this summer and I have met someone new. He is artistic, musical and sensitive. It is almost the identical situation as last year with the guy I fell in love with except this guy doesn't make me feel needy. He cares about me and he damn well shows it. He was the one to bring up me visiting him a week into his semester and I have already purchased tickets to go see him.
He does everything I wish the guy from last summer did. It's like everything I have ever wanted from the former guy is now being shown by the new guy. While I appreciate and love this, I'm not sure I deserve it. I'm not sure I deserve it because I am still so in love with the guy from last summer. We had been intimate for three years prior to becoming an item and I cannot get him out of my head.
Is it unfair to go see the new guy when I have another guy in my heart? Or is it okay to give myself a chance to find love again?
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your mind is playing tricks on you, forget the other guy he finished it with you and has moved on. You do the same and it's not like you are left with nothing you have this amazing new guy.
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Why make it all about yourself?
If this new guy has it all, why not continue with the new guy?
What's wrong with that?
There's 2 people in a relationship. Not just 1. Not just you. Not just the other person.
Two people.
Where are you from?
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>>17553164
I know...he is SO good to me!! but isn't it unfair to him?? Am I supposed to tell him I'm already in love with someone else? How do I open my heart to someone else when my heart is already taken?
I don't want to waste the new guys time. I don't want to hurt the new guy. I don't want to treat the new guy the way the old guy treated me...like as an option.
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>>17553166
I'm not trying to make it about myself. I'm trying to include the new guy's feelings into the equation. Is it unfair for me to pretend like the old guy doesn't exist when I'm with the new guy? Do I just pretend like I'm not already in love or am going through extreme heartbreak?
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>>17553168
Only 2 ways to get over someone either you distract yourself in everyday life or date someone new. Just give the new guy a chance and really just forget the old guy it will only bring trouble and pain
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>>17553168
How can you be in love with a guy that showed little to no respect with you and dumped you as soon as the college started to get some fuk in there? He cut contact and you should too. Erase everything about him and don't miss the perfect guy you are dating now. He would be devastated to hear you are still in love with a douche.
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You're not in love with the old guy, it's just feelings of attachment, and your mind playing out how you thought life was going to be with him. Stop living in the past and enjoy the present, the new guy.
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>>17553169
There's no such thing as "in love" with someone that you can't get over.
You forget the old guy and date the new guy. Let the new guy treat you well, YOU treat the new guy well, you get a history together and over time you'll forget the older guy even existed.
Where are you from? I feel this bullshit only happens in America.
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