Bipolar

not as fucked as some but more fucked than most

my recommendation would be to see a therapist, but I understand that this is difficult. Just know that they wouldn't be judgemental (they've seen worse) and they could really help ya out

>>17550027
Ready for the kicker?

I'm trans. If I tell my therapist I'm worried about this or experiencing this kind of thing my treatment may be delayed and it's already been delayed as is. Really not in a position where that can wait any more :/

I'm not worried about what they think of me though, so that's a plus I guess?


inb4 don't be trans, don't transition, degeneracy, ridicule and other rubbish.

>>17550049
Damn that sucks! My bf is trans and even though he's more or less issue-free in terms of his mental health he had to go through a lot of shit with therapists trying to delay his transition, etc., so I know how you feel. In fact, not being able to transition, and present the way you want to, could well be contributing to these issues in the first place.

It's really fucked that the systems in place for trans people with additional mental health issues are so shitty. I wish I could help you out more OP. I'd say do what you have to to transition, and take care of these other issues after that.

>>17550126
Thank you for being so understanding. I shall focus on getting the transition started above all else. I have some pretty full time obligations in life, going to shift them to one side for a while.

I do hope things are going well and if so continue to do so for you and your BF.

>>17550143
I'd actually do the opposite- Keep in mind I can't really relate with the whole trans thing.

But I'd want to get my head/life in a good space before I start something that can really mess with my emotions/mental health. I think you'd have to be in a very stable place to handle such drastic changes and hormones being thrown in.

I legit went fucking insane when I switched up my birth control pills, I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. It took me awhile to realize what was causing my panic attacks and crying spells. I can only imagine what transitioning would be like. I wish you luck though- tough road to travel.

>>17550176
Yeah that reasoning is sound and is the cause of being unable to mention this kind of thing to the psych.

I really can't deal with more of my birth gender's changes happening, so being on HRT ASAP is a necessity. If I had more time, I would much rather work everything out at the pace resulting in the best outcome for me.

I'm sure HRT would at least be a somewhat similar experience to changing birth control, as both cause hormone imbalance iirc. Just HRT would have the positive effects of mitigating self hatred etc to a degree.


HRT isn't an all-or-nothing thing; you can stop and generally up to about 6mo. the effects are fairly reversible.

To be specific, my dilemma is whether I should start seeking help for what appears to be Bipolar disorder or something like it. Obviously with it threatening my livelihood in the immediate future,
I've had the symptoms I described in the OP and more since I was a small child, they just worsened significantly after age 12-14, which is incidentally around the age I started to feel that I shouldn't be the gender I was born as.
For the record, I'm 24.

Thank you for your replies

>>17550251
As much as I'm sure it sucks hating the body you're in, maybe they're right for delaying your transition when you mention this kind of stuff. If your doc doesn't seem biased/against the whole thing, I would trust maybe they know what the best course of action is. I mean, there's a REASON they might want to delay it. You could end up really freaking out and offing yourself due to starting to transition while already in a fragile mental state.

I guess the bottom line is- how much do you trust your psych?

>>17549995
Let's simple things : you got 3 choices , else doesn't concern me .
1) You confront your anxiety , force yourself out of your confort zone . Quickest/cheapest but hardest option .
2) You see a therapist
3)you accept it and never complain about it ever

Good luck anon

>>17550261
I trust my psych a fair bit. It's not that I -know- they'll delay it, just that there's a pretty good chance they will as most like you to be 100% stable before giving you anything.

I think that's a bit much to expect from someone who is there in the first place to seek treatment for a diagnosed condition (gender dysphoria).

My psych has been pretty willing to prescribe me HRT but I'm quite good at acting OK.

I kind of left all of this too late to deal with. Are there psychs/professionals you can see who have no access to your medical records or anything? A diagnosis or not on the bipolar front would make things a lot clearer.

>>17550298
>Do this regularly
>Already am
>#2 precludes me from this

Thanks anyway anon

>>17550304
>quite good at acting OK
Dude. That is not cool to do. You could be putting yourself in real jeopardy by not being honest. I can't imagine how hard it is to put something on hold that's ALREADY been on hold for 24 years, but you have got to be an adult about this. Be honest with your shrink, or even another shrink- take the proper steps.

And yes, I think you can talk to one without them getting notes from the other. I had to sign something to let my therapist send his notes to my psychiatrist.

But please please don't continue to 'act' in any way to get what you want. You could really end up fucking yourself.

>>17550359
This is the information I needed. I shall schedule an appointment at a different clinic alongside my usual appointment and deal with things things from there.
Obviously I would disclose one to the other if more than one medication is involved.

I'll at least not feel trapped as long as there's progress. It doesn't have to be rapid at all times, but it does have to move forward, you know?

>>17550406
well good luck OP. I'm glad I could help.

Also, just curious... FtM or MtF? You never mentioned and I realize calling you "dude" might've hurt your butt, though I call everyone dude.

>>17550473
MtF. I call my female friends "dude" and "man". I think those have become pretty gender neutral in the past couple decades. Even if they aren't they're so casual you'd have to be a tumblrina to get offended unless it was said in a really derogatory way :)

Thank you for thinking of me <3

>>17549995
youre not bipolar it sounds like bad stress or personality issues, in my opinion. breaking stuff is just a stress mechanism as long as you dont bother anyone just try to find a new habit.

>>17549995
also major depression makes you feel that way too

>>17550608
What makes you so sure? I'd like to be privy to the evaluation process :)

>>17550614
if it is just depression it's probably explainable through gender dysphoria which would be a big relief for me

>>17549995
Might be bipolar. Go see a psychiatrist.