UPS is coming with a fleshlight to my house on Monday but my

It's not like they're going to announce that it's a fleshlight to her. Why the fuck would you buy it online if you're so concerned about this anyway?

>>17549314
I still have to say something about the package that won't make her suspicious,

I don't know about sex stores where i live, I'd have to travel a while and they probably don't have a lot of different ones. Also I didn't think she'd be home.

She'll be very curious and ask what it is.

>>17549305

if i were you, id go to the mall or any store this weekend and look for a gift for your mom. find something nice. if she has a birthday or whatever coming up, and she asks about the box just say 'you'll see on ur birthday!' and then you have the present picked out to be safe.

if not, just say you wanted to get her something to say thank you for X or Y. take the box to your room, wrap up the gift you bought htis weekend, and pretend its what came in the mail.

boom.

>>17549305
Call ups and tell them to hold the package at their distribution center. Then drive there and pick it up yourself.

Or you can just be a man and tell her its none of her business if she asks what you got.

>>17549305
"new computer part"
"none of your business"
"hygiene products"

>>17549305
say its boxers

>>17550297
This nigga gets it.

>>17549305
>What do I say to her to not raise suspicion?
Say you ordered a flashlight. If by some chance there is a clue to the package's contents from the outside, she will assume it's a typo.

Take it to your room and she asks what you got say: oh just a computer part.

>>17550297
this is your best bet desu

or you could get another parcel with chocolates or computer parts and just say that you got a package with those contents

>>17550297
Then give her the fleahlight as a gift eat the mall present and boom.