How to help girl though emotional abuse?

You probably aren't going to like what I say.

You can't be there for her all the time. It isn't heathy. What she's doing whether consciously or not is establishing a dependency with you. She now needs you because you're what pulls her from the brink. This means she can never leave your side because then she'd have no one to comfort her. I'm also going to make an educated guess and say this sounds a hell of a lot like her previous relationship with Cunty McCunterson.

What she needs to do is be able to be there for herself. She needs to develop the ability to be her own advocate and her own comforter. That's totally not to say you can't be for her ever, not at all. Part of a relationship is picking each other up when you fall. But when she can't get herself up then you have a problem.

Support her, be there for her when she's having bad days, but don't let her use you as a crutch. If she needs also arrange some therapy for her.

It's going to be a difficult balance to decide when she's really in need and when she's reinforcing you two's dependencies, and an even more difficult balance to decide how to act on that. It's going to be tough but trust me when I say you both will be much happier.

You are the definition of captain save a ho lmao. You'll probably end up in a relationship with her and the same trash will happen. I've also seen many cases in my personal life where a women will accuse the exes of everything under the sun. Their ex bfs are the cause of the break up they say.

When people point fingers like that they are normally trying to manipulate you somehow emotionally.

Also you can't help an abused person. Probably groups and therapy will help.
You will make things worse for her, and she will.most definitely make things worse for you.

(this is coming from an emotionally damaged person ad well who does similar, I know I'm general how my peeps behave)

>>17542396
obviously, I just want to know if there are things I can do to help, I know she cant depend on me completely, and i wouldn't want her to anyway.

>>17542410
>captain save a ho

nah man, shes a good friend, and I wan to help

>>17542417
stop it OP. Why sign up to be the transition guy. You give and give and give and she has nothing to give you. I mean nothing. I understand jumping in for a friend going through a debilitating illness but not thinking you might have a chance romantically if you can carry the emotional load during her break up.

>>17542424
Who said I want anything romantically? I just want to help a good friend through hard times.

Too close to home OP

I'm in the same situation. My current gf was abused by her ex, she broke down on me, told me everything and how she's cold as fuck.
I find myself carrying all, and I mean the whole god damn load of this "relationship"

I can't bring myself to break up with her because her sister's bf is my best friend, her sister is also a good friend of mine and leaving her will make me look like the evil guy and just another asshole like her ex.

I want to talk to someone but there's no one there for me who would listen and give advice.

All reason says to leave her, my heart wished I was never here and my soul doesn't want me to lose my friends.

All you can do is be there for her to listen, occasionally ask how are you doing, but don't push her. She probably needs counseling to work out more deep issues that she probably doesn't trust anyone with. Hopefully she's getting help, there's probably a lot of low-cost or even free resources in your area. If she wants, you can help her find outside help.

Good on you, op, for wanting to help your friend. Emotional abuse is hard to deal with because it's not seen as "real" abuse (like hitting)

>>17542441
OP here.

For me, she is the person I share everything with, its kinda like a co-dependency thing I guess.

Maybe you could tell her how you're feeling about things.

Worst case, you break up and you don't have to deal with it anymore, best case, things get better

>>17542337
Don't be a beta orbiter you retarded kek.

She's gonna take you for granted and think you're her emotional crutch while she's getting fucked out of her mind by Chad every night.

Females are all dumb sluts by definition, she will find her 'healing' in Jamal's 8inch dick.
Semen down her throat and up her ass will be her 'medicine'.

>>17542459
Then its fortunate her ex made her terrified of sex.

Jamal will have to wait.

>>17542466
He will have to wait, untill she goes out with her friends one night and has a 'few drinks to relax'.

Then on to the cock choking and semen gargling.
All females are the same, they can't really get hurt, it's all an act to get favors from men.

>>17542472
I pity you

>>17542472
Yeah, even I call bullshit on this.

>>17542473
Why? Because I have the balls to say the truth?

>>17542337
I want you to think long and hard before you answer this question, OP: why are you doing this?

This is important. If you are doing this for the wrong reasons, then your efforts are already doomed.

>>17542434
bullshit

>>17542456
>Maybe you could tell her how you're feeling about things.
We talked about it at length. I said that what's happened was nasty but it's all in the past. I said that everything is an experience, whether good or bad, and we learn shit from everything. I learned shit from my past, everyone did, and she shouldn't let it control her life.

>>17542501
I'm doing it so that my good friend can be happy. Because I'm tired of life fucking people over and I want to make a small impact. Because even though I'm really trustworthy, she still has issues trusting me. I want her to be good so she can trust me, because I know that I won't hurt her, but she thinks i might, and I hate it when people live with paranoia and fear

My current BF assaulted me and punched me in the ribs, gave me a black eye, and almost ran me over with a car. I came back to him and were happy together. He's in therapy. Now, I can tell you how many of my male friends were in your position, how many pleaded with me and said I have stockholm syndrome and that they're better than him, and how many did I listen to? None, obviously. These kinds of things you have to take a step back with. You have to leave her to her own devices, you cannot console her unless she explicitly wants it. You can only listen and be there, if she needs it, do not bring it up otherwise, do not try and expedite her need to forget about it. You have to leave her to her own devices and let her deal with this problem herself. Or, pay for her therapy. You cannot just make her "get over it". She will hate you for it. She will come to in her own time. You have ulterior motives, leave that out of her life.

>>17543783
>I'm doing it so that my good friend can be happy.
I feel like you don't do a lot for your own happiness. Also why is the girl so special if she's just a friend? Does she play games with you? Advise you on tips to pick up chicks? Pay for food if you are short? Unless she's doing any of this shit, she's not worth it. Let the bad things happen, she's be stronger for it, trying to talk her into feeling better will either make it worse or nudge her back into the exes arms.

>>17543828
>He's in therapy.
He should be in jail. Be careful not to get murdered.

>>17543875
Have you never had a friend that you care about enough where you want to help them be the best version of them they can be? She doesn't do any of the stuff you mentioned, but when we hang out we have a good time, and when I'm feeling down she listens and helps me out.

>>17543828
I clearly am bettet than him. But its not as if I'm doing it so i can get with her.

Shes a good friend, and this prolonged mental state isn't good for her. She doesn't want to get back with him at all, she just wants to be able to trust men again.

>>17542434
You're either the biggest cuck in the world, or full of shit "mr.nice guy".